Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

TIIE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY, S. C. I NANCY MUTT AND JEFF LITTLE REGGIE By Margarita JITTER By Arthur Pointer REG’LAR FELLERS By Gene Byrnes VIRGIL By Len Kleis Grooving ’Em When crusty old John McGraw managed the New York Giants, he invariably instructed pitchers. One day the winning run was on second and the Giants had a rookie on the mound. McGraw called time, told the rookie to waste a pitch before going to work on the batter. The pitcher promptly grooved one, which was laced for a triple. Mc Graw went for his pitcher and asked, with blue-bordered decora tions, “Didn’t I tell you to waste one?” “But I did,” protested the baffled rookie, “my pitch was right at his waistl” LOOK, NO HANDS! Wise guy—When it comes to eat ing, you’ve got to hand it to Venus de Milo. Come on—Why? Wise guy—How else could she eat? Lullaby Among the students of his class in elocution an instructor had one very ambitious young man whose vanity exceeded his ability as an orator. The professor was pretty discouraged one day as he took time out to give the youth a private les son. “When you finish your address,” he told the misguided pupil, “bow very gratefully, and leave the plat form on tiptoes.” “On tiptoes?” echoed the student. “Why?” “So you won’t wake up the audi ence,” was the instructor’s reply. Good Question A rich, pompous man was can tering along a dusty trail one after noon when he spied a trim farm house at the edge of the forest and decided to stop for water. He asked a little boy standing near the house to hold his horse. “Does he bite?” queried the child. “No,” was the reply. “Or kick?” "No.” “Does he try to run away?” “No.” The child shrugged his shoulders. “Then why do you want me to hold him?” Over the Line There was a Swedi* who lived practically on the border between Minnesota and Wisconsin. For years he wasn’t certain which state he lived in. Finally he got a state surveyor to make a special investi gation of the problem. “You live,” decided the surveyor, “in Wisconsin.” The Swede threw his hat into the air with great gkie. “Thank heaven,” he cried. “No more of those terrible Minnesota winters.” * PERPLEXED BURGLAR A young man was on trial, charged with breaking into the same millinery shop four times. The judge asked the defendant the reas on for the repeat performances. He answered: “Each time I stole a different hat for my wife. She can’t make up her mind.” Nifty Answer An autoist was motoring through the mountains of Colorado when he came upon a small village tucked away in a valley. He stopped when he met a native and asked, “I say, have any big men been born in this town?” t “No,” answered the local man. “Just little babies.” Sure Are Mrs. Brown—My husband is join ing the Masons. Mrs. Green—Well, I don’t know them well, but I will say their jars are nice. Grumpy Gob Sailor (sitting in barber chair)— “Cut all three short.” Barber—“Which three?” Sailor—“Whiskers, hair and chat ter.” Dull Reading Wife—I can read you like a book, John. Husband—Why don’t you then? In a book, you skip what you don’t like, but in me you linger over it. SEWING CIRCLE PATTERNS Slenderizing 2)aulimer j^or Iron lload-Sk o aide red junior ^drocl? Matron’s Frock A SIMPLE daytime frock es pecially nice for the slight ly larger figure. Flattering neck line, front closing and cap sleeves are edged in dainty scallops— shoulder gathers give a feminine touch. You’ll like it in a pretty all-over floral print, or soft solid tones. • • • Pattern No. 8976 comes in sizes 36. 38. 40. 42. 44. 46. 48. 50 and 52. Size 38. cap sleeve, requires 4 yards of 35-inch mate rial. 1 ASK MS ANOTHER A General Quiz ? 1. Of what country is the orange a native? 2. What occupation has the high est accident toll? 3. Where was George Washing ton inaugurated President the first time? 4. What does “apple pie” order signify? 5. How long will foreign G.I. brides have to wait to attain U. S. citizenship? 6. How many of the 360 islands of the Bermudas are inhabited? The Answers 1. China. Cultivation began in the Middle ages. 2. Farming. It has three acci dents for every two in industry. 3. Federal Hall, New York City. 4. Perfect, precise order. 5. They must complete two years’ residence before filing a formal petition for citizenship. 6. Twenty islands. TV i i-is Special Occasion Frock CONTRASTING stripes are used effectively on this smooth junior date dress. Note the wide- shouldered look, the slim-as-a-pen- cil waistline. Easy to make for the teen-age sewer, and perfect for coke dates, spring dances, special dress-up occasions. • • • Pattern No. 8981 is designed for sizes 11, 12, 13, 14, 16 and 18. Size 12 reauires 3V4 yards of 35- or 39-inch material for stripea; 2% yards plain fabric. Due to an unusually large demand and current conditions, slightly more time is required in filling orders for a few of the most popular pattern numbers. SEWING CIRCLE PATTERN DEPT. 530 South Wells St. Chicago 7, 111. Enclose 25 cents in coins for each pattern desired. Pattern No. - ■"-Size ■■■— Name — “ ■ - Address Various Tastes Of the five human senses, taste varies the most' in different indi viduals, a fact easily demonstrat ed by having a number of persons taste a piece of paper treated with phenyl-thio-carbimide. To some it will be tasteless, to others it will be sweet, bitter, sour or salty. HEARTBURN R«Ua,-<d In 5 minutes or doobi* year amMy Incli When creesa stomach add causes painful, suffocat ing gas, sour stomach and heartburn, doctors usually prescribe the fastest-acting medicines known for symptomatic relief—medicines like those in Bell-ana Tablets. No laxative. Bell-ana brings comfort in a g ;fy or double your money back on return of bottia us. 25c at all druggists. MUSTerOLE IF YOU BAKE AT HOME .. . hurry! Send for Fleischmann’s wonderful, 40-page recipe book. 70 tested recipes for delicious bread, rolls, desserts. Easy to make with Fleisch- mann’s Fresh Active Yeast—for the delicious flavor and fine texture that mean perfect baking success. Send for your FREE copy today to Fleischmann’s Yeast, Box 477, Grand Central Annex, New York 17, N. Y. FOR QUICK 7 RELIEF FROM TIRED, ACHY MUSCLES SFIAINS • STRAINS • BRUISES • STIFF JOINTS SLOAN’S LINIMENTi