The sun. [volume] (Newberry, S.C.) 1937-1972, October 26, 1945, Image 7
THE NEWBERRY SUN. NEWBERRY, S. C.
Iron Across Length
When ironing, press with the
length rather than across the width
of fabric wherever possible. But if
a skirt, slip or nightgown is cut on
the bias, then iron on a slant, along
the grain or straight of the materi
al. This will prevent the stretching
and sagging which makes hems un
even.
Keeps Mouth Shut
The reason a dog has so many
friends is that his tail wags instead
of his tongue.
VfRS. ALLEN’S HUSBAND
CIVES HER A SURPRISE
WEST MONROE, LA.—Mrs. Carl
Z. Allen of West Monroe, Louisi
ana, has an interesting story to tell
about how she discovered Fault
less Starch. Here is what she
wrote:
“Last week , my husband
brought home a box of Fault
less Starch. I decided to use
it, thinking that all starches
were about the same. You can
imagine my surprise when I
'began ironing. My iron fairly
flew and I was finished in no
time. My clothes were so
bright, with no rough starch
blotches to mar their sleek
ness. 1 felt I just had to tell
you how wonderful your starch
is. My husband was just as
proud as 1 when he saw his
shirts. I wish all women could
just try your product.”
Now there is a thoughtful hus
band. That box/ of Faultless
Starch really meant more to Mrs.
Allen than a box of candy—and
here is why:
SAVE 468 MINUTES A YEAR
Let’s say it takes ten minutes tu
make hot starch when you have to
cook it and stir it over a hot stove.
But you can make hot Faultless
Starch in a minute. That means
you save nine minutes each time
you make it. If you wash only
once a week, in one year you would
save 468 minutes, or seven hours
and forty minutes. Would you
rather have a bo;c of candy or a
box of starch that saved you bet
ter than seven hours a year?
SAVE 26 HOURS A YEAR
And that isn’t all! Many people
tell us that Faultless Starch makes
it possible to save half their iron
ing time. Let’s be conservative
and say that Faultless Starch
might save you half an hour each
ironing day. In a year you would
save twenty-six hours of hard iron
ing time! Which is best—a box of
candy or a box of Faultless Starch?
Why go on starching and ironing
the hard way when you can do it
the easy way with Faultless Starch.
Or, better still, ask your grocer
for a box today. You deserve
Faultless Starch, too.—Adv.
When Your v ‘
Back Hurts*-
And Your Strength and
Energy Is Below Par
It mmy be caused by disorder of kid-
Bey function that permits poisonous
waste to accumuLtte. For truly many
people feel tired, weak and miserable
when the kidneys fail to remove excess
acids and other waste matter from the
blood.
You may suffer nagging backache,
rheumatic pains, headaches, dizziness,
getting up nights, leg pains, swelling.
Sometimes frequent ana scanty urina
tion with smarting and burning ’is an
other sign that something is wrong with
the kidnevs or bladder.
There should be no doubt that prompt
treatment is wiser than neglect. Use
Doan’s Pills. It is better to rely on a
medicine that has won countrywide ap-
E roval than on something less favorably
nown. Doan’s have been tried and test
ed many years. Are at all drug stores.
Get Doan r s today.
Doans Pills
Upset Stomach
Relieved in 5 minutes or double money back
When excess stomach acid causes painful, suffocat
ing gas, sour stomach and heartburn, doctors usually
prescribe the fastest-acting medicines known for
k.rmptomatic relief—medicines like those in Bell-ans
'.’ablets. No laxative. Bell-ars brings comfort in a
Jiffy or double your money back on return of bottle
to us. 25c at all druggists.
Relief At Last
For Your Cough
Creomulslon relieves promptly be
cause It goes right to the seat of the
trouble to help loosen and expel
germ laden phlegm, and aid nature
to soothe and heal raw, tender, In
flamed bronchial mucous mem
branes. Tell your druggist to sell you
a bottle of Creomulsion with the un
derstanding you must like the way it
quickly allays the cough or you are
to have your money back.
CREOMULSION
for Coughs, Chest Colds, Bronchitis
Cloudless Skies
When Australia starts developing
its infant film industry and decides
to build a counterpart of Hollywood,
it won’t be able to set it up in cen
tral Australia. The weather’s too
dry there for film-making. Clouds
needed for essential pictorial effects
in the cattle-droving epic, “The
Overlanders” were so rare that on
one occasion they had to race 60
miles across a tableland to catch up
with a herd of cattle and photograph
them while the thin, fleeting clouds
were still around.
COLDS’ CHEST TIGHTNESS
quickly loosened by Penetro—
Grandma’s old-time mutton suefc
idea developed by modern science ^
in toacounter-irritant, vaporizing!
ealvetFiatbringsquick,comfort- r
ing relief. 25c, double size 35c. K I
PENETRO
BABB RICH IN MUTTQH SUET
NOT SO CLEVER CHINESE
Deciding to be extra cautious, a
thrifty Chinese removed a brick
from the hollow wall of his house
and carefully deposited his hard-
earned savings in the opening. Still
haunted by a feeling of insec. -ity,
he wrote across the homemade
safe:
“No money in this wall.”
His astute neighbor, Wong, saw
thf telltale, writing, rifled the cache
and took the hoarding. Fearing de
tection, he wrote on the replaced
brick:
“The money was not stolen by
Wong.”
Hard to Pronounce
Harry—What did you say hi&
name was?
J erry—J osscowina wsoski.
Harry—You don’t say?
Jerry—Well, I try to but I don’t al
ways succeed.
Head of the Class
Teacher—What does milk come
in?
Bright Girl—In pints.
Teacher—And what else?
Bright Boy—I know—in squirts!
Blissful Ignorance
Myron — What you don’t know
doesn’t hurt you.
Byron—That’s true, but it some
times amuses others.
CEILING PRICE
MOPSY by GLADYS PARKER
TIN HATS By Stanton
Mrs.—How does my new hat look?
Mr.—It looks like a week’s wages.
Ouch!
Bill—There’s one place you can
get all the gas you want without
coupons.
Joe—Where’s that?
Bill—The dentist’s.
Age Old Cure
Jones—I hear they’ve invented
something to prevent the roosters
from crowing in the morning.
Smith—Really? What is it?
Jones—Chicken soup!
What’s In a Name?
Stranger — Do you know a guj
down this street with one leg named
Munson?
Boy—Munson? Well, I’m not sure.
What’s the name of his other leg?
“She say she like lipstick yuu give her—but she need more to finish leg!’'
NIGHT OUT
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
KNOWS PEJJFEXfrLY WELL THAT REALLY DOESNT LIKE TO HAVE THEM
MOTHER AND PADDY PLAN TO GO OUT LEAVE HIM. WONDERS SHOULD HE
THIS EVENING. HE CAN TELL ABOUT , A FUSS
things like that
NOW THEY ABE TELLING AUNT SUSIE
WHAT TO COIF HE CRIES'
HEARS FRONT DOOR CLOSE GENTLY
AND REALIZES HE HAS MISSED CHANCE
TO DETAIN THEM BY MAKING A FUSS
NO,HE HAS ONE MORE CHANCE,HE
CAN HEAR THEM WHISPERING BENEATH
HIS WINDOW, LISTENING TO SEE IF
HE’S ASLEEP
OH WELL .LET THEM GO; FOR THEY
DESERVE A NIGHT OUT BESIDES HE
CAN HAVE. FUN WITH AUNT SUSIE.
f HE FEELS LIKE IT
HAPPY VACATION
SIMPLE EXPLANATION
Simple
Teacher—Define the subject and
the predicate.
Smarty—The subject is what does
the predicate and the predicate is
what the subject does.
It’s A Pleasure
Nit—Even nowdays I like to hitch
hike.
Wit—Why?
Nit—It’s thumb fun!
Geography Lesson
Teacher—Name five things we get
from India.
School Boy—Tin, oil, rice, India
rubber and India-gestion.
Believe in Signs?
Cop—What’s the idea of parking
right in front of the fire house?
Lady Motorist—Why, the sign said
“Fine for Parking!”
Milk Maker
Harry—Did you know I used to be
a gardener in a dairy?
Jerry—No. What did you do?
Harry—I used to water the milk.
HARO TO ANSWER
Mrs. Jones—Young man, how do
you sell your limburger cheese?
Clerk—Madam, I sometimes won
der about that myself!
You’re My Baby
She—Do I remind you of the ocean
because my eyes are so blue and
deep?
He—Naw, you remind me of the
ocean ’cause you’re so seldom
quiet.
Editors at Work
Editor—I wish we had an x-ray
in this office.
Contributor—What for?
Editor—So I could see through
some of the jokes you contributors
send in
Myron — How are you getting
along since your wife went away or.
a vacation?
Byron—Fine. I broke only one
dish today.
Myron—Wonderful, how come?
Byron—It was the only one left.
Combat Yarn
Returned Hero—Just as I w. s
climbing over the bunker, a bullet
hit me.
Old Lady — Were you incapaci
tated?
R. H.—No, I was in Germany.
Sniff Sniff
Mrs. Brown—I’m entering Fide in
the dog show.
Mrs. Blue—Do you think he’ll win
any prizes?
Mrs. Brown—Oh, no. But he’ll
meet some very nice dogs.
Prof. — Sedentary work tends to
lessen the endurance.
Stude—In other words, the more
one sits the less one can stand.
Prof.—Exactly. And if one lies a
great deal, one’s standing is com
pletely lost.
Dilemma At Sea
New Captain — How many fath
oms?
Old Sailor—I can’t touch bottom,
sir.
N. C.—Well, how near do you
come to it?
Save the Surface
She—That fire flared right up in
my face. I’ve ruined my complex
ion.
He—What do you mean? It
hasn’t even blistered your paint.
DECEITFUL RASCAL
/
Angelo had been hired to work
with a road gang high in the moun
tains and had been warned about
rattlesnakes. He had been told,
however, that a rattlesnake would
always give a warning before strik
ing.
One day as Angelo sat on a log
eating his lunch, he noticed a large
rattler a few feet away from him
coiled and ready to strike. Depend
ing on the information he had been
given, he nonchalantly crossed his
legs and waited for the signal. Just
as he made this move, the rattler
struck, landing on the log just a
quarter of an inch away from An
gelo’s leg. For a second there was
nothing but dust, and a few hundred
feet away Angelo was heard to say:
“Son of a gun, what’s a da mat you
no ringa da bell.”
QUESTION OF AGE
Joan—I don’t intend to be married
until I’m 30.
Jane—I don’t intend to be 30 until
I’m married.
Old, Old Story
Wifey — Where were you last
night?
Hubby—Well, in the first place . . .
Wifey—Yeah, I know all about the
first place. Where were you after
that?
Bright Side
Joe—This is a funny war in one
way.
Bill—What way?
Joe—The Yanks are on one side
and the jerks on the other.
Fair Enough
Her—Do you love me?
Him—Madly 1
Her—Would you die for me?
Him—Well, er—no. Mine is an un
dying love.
One Thing Safe
Agent—Do you want all your of
fice furniture insured against theft?
Manufacturer — Yes, everything
except the clock. Everybody
watches that.
Dongh-nnt
Mack—There is going to be a
bread shortage.
Jack—That won’t bother me any.
Mack—Why not?
Jack—I only eat toast.
Old As Yon Want
Tommy—My granddad is 70 years
old.
Jimmy — That’s nothing. My
grandma will be a 170 if she lives
long enough.
-
DING-A-LING
John—What has done most to
arouse the working classes?
Mary—I give up.
John—The alarm clock.
Didn’t You Know
Dumb—What is the purpose of let
terheads?
Dora—Sc you can find out the
name of the man who signs the let
ter.
Parsonage Pun
Stranger—I want your father to
marry us and this is the girl who is
to be my wife.
Preacher’s Daughter — He’ll be
very glad to mate you, I’m sure.
Knot So Good
First Acrobat—How did you ever
learn to walk a tight rope? Don’t
tell me you picked it up yourself!
Second Acrobat—No, it has to be
taut.
Doable pose
Dora—My father and mother are
cousins.
Cora—So what?
Dora—That must be why I look
so much alike.
Washed Away
Nit—Why doesn’t water leave the
shore?
Wit—Probably because it’s tide
there.
Mind Yoar Manners
Stranger—Little boy, would you
like to show me the post office?
Boy—I’d like to, sir, but my
mother says it’s impolite to point.
Appropriate
Wifie—What’s the name of thr
milkman’s daughter?
Hubbie—Rosie O-Grade-A.
Correct
Nit—What is an octogenarian?
Wit—A fellow who takes care of
octopuses.
Cotton Damage
Most of the ginning damage to
cotton occurs during the first three
to four weeks of the ginning sea
son The cotton is “green” and
damp because of the high moisture
.content of the seed.
Cotton Pickers
The leaves of the cotton must be
removed by chemicals In order for
picking machines to do the best
jobs. Cotton is easily stained by
green leaves and this makes dyeing
of the cotton difficulL
Garden Superstition
As late as 1740. people in New Eng
land thought potatoes would shorten
men’s lives and make them un
healthy.
__ Towel Laundering
Increased use of towels means
more frequent laundering. Hang
towels straight on the line rather
than by a comer. After using bath
towels, spread them out on racks to
dry instead of folding or bunching
them. Never pile wet towels on the
floor or in a laundry bag. Soggy
towels can mildew overnight in hot
weather.
Palm Wine
Fermented palm wine is often
used as a yeast substitute for
bread making in Liberia.
Canned Carp
A Minnesota manufacturer is
about to can carp and market it.
grated, tuna-style, under the name
of "Lakefish.”
Sen-Gay
QWCK
• Yes, rub in Ben-Gay quick... and quickly get relief
from chest-cold symptoms. Soothing, gently warming...
Ben-Gay acts/asf. Ask your doctor about thefamous pain-
relieving agents, methyl salicylate and menthol. Ben-Gay
contains up to IVi times more of these ingredients than
five other widely offered rub-ins. Get genuine Ben-Gay!
Ben Gay —THE ORIGINAL ANALGESIQUE BAUME
‘V/J/tJ r RHEUMATISM^ THERt’S ALSO
Sr 21/gO r° , ‘1 MUSCLE PAIN, MILD BEN GAY
fV 0 DUE TO LNEURALGIA ] FOR CHILDREN
Date-Bran Muffins, good as cake!
{Take no sugar, no shortening!)-
These delicious, new all-bran muffins
made with chopped dates will have a
big appeal for the "sweet toothers” in
your family! They’re so moist. And
they’re so tender—so good. That’s be
cause KELLOGG’S ALL-BRAN 13 milled
extra-fine for golden softness.
2 cups Kellogg’s 1 cup sifted flour
all-bran 1 teaspoon soda
H cup molasses % teaspoon salt
1M cups milk % cup chopped
1 egg dates
Add Kellogg’s all-bran to molasses
and milk and allow to soak for 15
minutes. Beat egg and add-to first
mixture. Add sifted dry Ingredients
and fruit Fill greased muffin pans
two-thirds full and bake in moderate*
ly hot oven (400°F.) about 20 min
utes. Makes 15 light, luscious muffins.
Good Nutrition, tool
ALL-BRAN is made from the vital outek
layers of finest wheat—contains a
concentration of the protective food
elements found In
the whole grain.
One-half cup pro
vides over % your
daily minimum ,
need for iron.
Serve Kellogg's j
ALL-CRAN daily!
"We give this seal lo no one—the product has to earn it,”
soys Good Housekeeping Magazine regarding this
famous seal. Look for if on every Clabber Girl package.
YOUR CHILD’S COUGHV
Relieve your child’s cough due to i cold with Dr. Drake’s
Glcssco.This famous remedy is specially prepared lor chil
dren,eases sensitive little throats,helps eliminate phlegm
and promotes healing of irritated membranes. Children
like its pleasant taste. Give your child the relief Dr. Drake’s
as brought to millions.
DR. DRAKE’S Glessco Pri ~ e 50*
IHL 6U4SN6R CO . FINDLAY, OHIO