McCormick messenger. (McCormick, S.C.) 1902-current, January 21, 1932, Image 8
&
Thursday, January 21, 1932
leCORMICh 'ittSSENGER, McCOs
V,
i'\GE NUMBER EIGHT
Iff
THE ROVER
By George Randolph Chester
A FLURRY IN PILLS
!♦ 1922, by McClure Newspaper Syndicate.
*|HE porter being in
John Ames wisely refjt^ffletl
from opening the \>^ppw
for the attractive yotfng
lady; moreover, he had an
impression that her thanks
iwould be disconcerting if he did. She
had sarcastic gray eyes.
“May I open the window for you,
ilfiss Janie?" offered the porter.
Uncomfortable porter, too! Ames
.liked them with a dialect and a
chuckle; gray hair preferred.
“How are you coming on with your
ilaw studies, Lewis?” asked the gray*
{eyed one, in the cold, even voice of
intellectuality.
> Ames glanced again at the clean-
cut profile of the girl, slender, confi-
'dently poised, neatly tailored. She
[had long, curling eyelashes. He be
came conscious, in some indefinable
|way, that she was aware of his watch
ing her and there was t^flny sarcastic
i curl at the corners of her lips. Ames
bent himself studiously to his paper.
:Mechanically he read again the head-
•lines about the horse show, and the
regatta, and the scandal at Newport;
and turned from them to the adver
tisements of Ocean Foam Baking
Powder, and Brainful Breakfast Ce
real; and “Kleno; the .Good Old-
Fashidned Stuff!”
That last advertisement annoyed
bim very much. Those six words were
set in' the midst of a great blank
apace, with a heavy blac|jt border
around it, and a question mark un
derneath. / \
The cold, even voice of the girl
flowed on and on. Lewis was a hard
working student. It seemed; and
‘‘Miss Janie” knew everything. Not
that she made any tremendous as-
sumption of knowledge, hut that she
was actually an astounding store
house of well-digested education.
Ames grew\tremendously fascinated.
He found himself waiting for hbr to
slip; but she was right there 'with the
correct answer and the logical reason
for It, about Cicero, and the binomial
theorem, and the cosmos, and Arnold
Bennet. and a new kind of fudge. If
Bhe tripped any place, it was past
where John Ames had been in the
book; and he had leafed through
quite a distance himself. Again he
caught that sarcastic little curl, and
looked carelessly out of the window,
with a splendid restraint from abrupt
ness. His eye lit on a big sign board,
devoted entirely to “Kleno; the ^Good-
Old-Fashioned Stuff!” Not caring a
continental what this Kleno might
or might not be, he slammed dowi> his
paper,, and frankly listened.
It seemed that "Miss Janie” had a
grandfather, and a father and mother,
and a normal number of uncles and
aunts and cousins, and a pet niece,
most of whom Vore the family name
of Stanbury. She had been vibrating
on this road, from branch to branch
of the family tree, since she was a
child. It would be a treat to talk with
a girl like that.
A loose-faced brakeman popped his
bend in at the door, and yelled some
thing which was probably the name
of a town. He smiled at Miss “Janie”
Stanbury, and she nodded brightly.
A savage-looking conductor came
through. He was as surly in appear
ance as if he ate nothing fapt raw
meat, and he leaned over, as h
•■Janie's" seat, and made a ^luarfr
which brought forth a giggle. S
The train slowed down. ~ The In
tellectual porter brushed Miss Stan-
bury, and accepted a quarter, and
gathered up her baggage.
Mechanically, as if obeying some
power outside his volition, tall John
Ames picked up his own luggage, and
followed.
“Beg your pardon, sir; this Isn’t
your station,” politely advised the
porter.
“Oh, well, never mind,” answered
Ames, as one in a dream, and handed
the porter a coin. * (
The amaslngly informed girl, quite
“smart” looking seen now in move
ment, stepped into a waiting family
carriage, and the porter stepped on
the train, leaving John Ames alone,
la the middle of the platform, with
bis trunks in the baggage car ahead,
sad his reason cursing his Impulse,
which had so often made a* fool of
him.
The train and the carriage moved
away at the same moment. The por
ter, looking back, smiled broadly;
then opened a wide mouth, and
’laughed. The girl, turning, did not
ipmile. She grinned!
Chapter II,
About the only thing of interest
{John Ames saw in the town was a
lthree-story frame building with the
aide blown out and without a whole
,pane of glass In It. * The noteworthy
ithing about It, however, was a big,
‘new gilt sign above the cornice, which
■aid:
"Kleno
| The Good Old-Fashioned Stuff.”
The building Itself was blackened,
grimed* and water-soaked, and its
weather-boarding hung on it es if the
^ ■“ been carelessly rattled.
impound,” explained the
cigar store man across the street;
guaranteed to take the spots off any-
thlnc from a rotten reputation to a
ealicb horse.”
“The company has apparently
moved,” guessed Ames, trying still
another brand of cigar without much
hope.
“The day of the explosion,” re
turned the official joker, who had cul
tivated the trick of never Smiling.
“Anyone hurt?” and Ames wondered
if he might not have done better by
lighting the other end of his perfecto.”
“Nope at least Henry never said so.”
Ames frowned slightly with dis
pleasure.
“Killed,” he surmised. “One of the
workmen?”
“The busiest one of the whole lot,
but he was the proprietor,” stated the
cigar store man, who was frog-eyed.
“Henry Phelps was well enough off to
satisfy most anybody, until he thought
about ‘Kleno’; but his heirs have no
pride in the business. The way H^nry
popped across the street kind o’
discouraged theni.”
Ames had no flippancy for the topic
of death.
“All that advertising gone to
waste,” he worried. “It must have
cost a fortune.”
The cigar dealer was explaining. In
his most humorous vein, just how
much money Henry Phelps had spent,
and how foolish he had been to spend
it, and how regretful his heirs Were
about it, when an old-fashioned buggy
drove by. Behind the plodding white
horse sat Janet Stanbury and a
straight little gray-haired man gf the
ancient school, whose firm lips sat
above a chin which missed, a beard.
“Nice looking old chap,” commented
Ames with tremendous indifference.
“Doc Dill,” grinned the cigar dealer.
“He’s quit practice so he can read
more. This is a high-brow town. The
girl with him lives next door to the
professor. They’re writing a book.
Wouldn’t that kill you? How do you
like that cigar?”
“It’s most uncomfortable,” stated
Ames, and resolved to buy no more
in that place.
Chapter III.
“I’m not feeling very well, doctor,”
x lied John Ames, glancing oyt of the
window, in the direction of the house
next door. ,
“Stick out your tongue,” ordered
Doctor Dill, taking Ames by the wrist,
and consulting a silver watch the size
of a saucer.
Ames produced a tongue which was
red all the way back. The doctor
popped his watch in his pocket, and
looked at him reproachfully.
“What do you .think’s the matter
with you?” he objected.
“Nothing much,” confessed Ames;
“a trifle of discomfort,” and he placed
his hand just over his top waistcoat
button.
“It’ll go away,” the physician care
lessly stated. “You don’t need a doc
tor; but I’ll give you something which
will fix you up,” and from the bottom
shelf of a tall bookcase he procured,
out of a jumble of like articles, a
small, square box. “You better take
one right now,” he advised, pouring a
glass of water from a big white
pitcher.
Ames glanced at the box in dismay.
It was labeled “Dill’s Bilious Pills,”
and It contained twelve green mar
bles ! For a moment Ames chilled,
and then he made an accurate pre
tense of popping the pill in his mouth,
and choking ft down with a great gulp
of water.
“I haven’t seen anything like that
since I was a boy,” he smiled, slip
ping the bolus into his pocket and
seeming in no hurry to go.
“I don’t think you will,” returned
the doctor, frowning at some inward
thought. “I’ve kept up with all the
new methods, but, In some things, the
old-fashioned way Is the best.”
"You put these up yourself," sur
mised Ames, looking eagerly about the
room, for a live topic of conversation.
“I-don’t do much else,” responded
the doctor, stroking the bare chin
which missed a beard. “I claim this
to be the healthiest community in the
country, and there’s no house without
a box of this standard old correctant.”
“Who’s your' jobber?” Inquired
Ames, glancing again at the house next
door, and wondering how long he
could make the topic of pills hold out.
“That’s good!” laughed the doctor.
“Why, they won’t even sell these
things in our local drug stores. I’ve
had a light with these murdering drug
gists for years. The pills will be 25
cents. There’ll be no charge for con
sultation because there’s nothing the
matter with you.”
^ The end of the topic had arrived.
Ames took his little box and paid his
money ,and rose reluctantly.
“That’a a line bird’s-eye photograph
of Pompeii,” he observed, clutching
.desperately at even this conversational
straw. “Since this was taken, how
ever, that .statue has been removed to
the museum at Naples.”
Doctor Dill turned to him with an
entirely new consideration.
“Have you been there?"
“Yes, I’ve kept fairly good track of
responded Ames
the excavations,
hopefully.
“Walt just a minute!” begged Dr.
Dill excitedly, hurrying to the door.
“Mother! Here’s a gentleman who has
been to Pompeii!”
aised an ua.. .smntly qui>
Chapter IV.
“You wouldn’t like all of Italy,”
smiled Ames reminiscently. “I wonder
why it is that the older the civiliza
tion the w'orse the sanitation.”
“Probably for the same reason you
find it that way in an old house,” an
swered Janet Stanbury, with a little
curl at the corners of her lips. “I be
lieve sanitation is a recent whlm r isn’t
it, Doctor?”
“There is always sunshine at Pom
peii,” mused “Mother” Dill, who wore j
her gray hair rippling coquettishly
down the sides of her waxen cheeks,
which had still the flush of pink in
them. Above all things, she hated
cloudy days.
“You v must visit Pompeii,” urged
Ames. “Neither words nor pictures
will ever bring it to you,” and he
waved his hand over the litter of
books, maps and engravings strewn
on the old doctor’s library table.
“I wish w r e could afford it.” regret
ted the doctor, with a fond glance at
his wife.
“This past w : eek of foreign travel
with Mr. Ames has been most unset
tling,” complained Miss Stanbury,
with a not unfriendly glance at the
handsome and polished newcomer.
“Frankly, I want to really go; every
place!”
“Join the Dill party,” laughingly
advised Ames. “Doctor, you can go,
if you want to.” •
“I know how poor 1 am,” the doc
tor remonstrated.
“Any man ’is rich who has the
means of producing wealth,” stated
gent;
•erlng . i*r.
“Evv.y Kleno 1)511 is paid and re
ceipted.” he declared.
“I’m g ! ad of that,” observed Ames,
suavely; “bei ause I thought some
what of negotiating for the Kleno
name.”
T. W. Phelps displayed the fact that
he could smile.
“We’re holding that at a pretty
good figure,” he stated.
Ames smiled right back at him.
“Then there’s no use to open ne
gotiations.” he stated in return. “The
Kleno name is not worth a 'fancy
price."
The administrator and principal
heir, lowering his brows until they al
most obscured his eyes, squinted up at
Ames quite studiously.
“Well, there’s different opinions
about that,” he argued. “Why, man,
Uncle Henry spent a hundred and fif
ty thousand dollars in making that
name! There ought to be a profit
on it.”
Ames leaned over to smile at him
more directly.
“If I find that I can u^e it, I’ll pay
you five thousand dollars for it,” he
coldly suggested.
T. W. Phelps conveyed, by expres
sive pantomime, the fact that he was
dropping dead.
“I couldn’t think of it for a min
ute !” he expostulated.
“Now, look here, Mi*. Phelps,” Ames
kindly explained; “five minutes ago
you didn’t think you would ever get
a penny out of this unfortunate Kleno.
The compound proved dangerous; no
body would have the formula as a
gift, and the advertising is totally
wasted. If you’ll talk sensibly with
me. I’ll bargain with you; if you’re
going to Lluff, I won’t.”
Twice the nephew of the departed
inventor of “Kleno” started to bluster,
Half Smiling and Half Crying, l; She;
Coat and
Ames, becoming serious. “Why don’t
you market your pills?”
“Huh 1” grunted the doctor. “1
couldn’t sell enough In a hundred
years to send us to Europe.”
"I believe “you^coiild,” pondered
Ames, and, for the first time, he
found th> eyes of Janet Stanbury fixed
on him without the expression which
he had fancied to be mockery.
“Oh,* do you suppose he could!”
prayerfully wondered "Mother” Dill.
“I thoroughly do,” John told her,
acquiring a certain determination, as
he looked at that waxen face, its del
icate color,deepened by eagerness.
“You’re not bothered much about
professional ethics are you. Doctor?”
“I do anything I please, as long as
It’s honest,” declared the doctor.
“What connection is there between
ethics and pills?”
“None,” chuckled Job«$ “except that
I think the market is ready for some
of the good, old-fashioned remedies.”
He stopped and pondered a moment,
as he uttered that familiar phrase,
then he suddenly grinned.
“You’ll have to remember I have
no capital,” the doctor reminded him.
“You don’t need capital,” Ames
thoughtfully assured him. “I think
I’ll take your case,” and he made his
adieus for the afternoon. He wanted
to be alone.
Chapter V.
“I believe you ai the administra
tor and the principal heir of the
Henry Phelps estate.” began John
Ames, as he confronted a man whose
brows were so low over his eyes that
there seemed to be no upper lids.
“Well?” resented F. W. Phelps, who
disliked his caller for three things;
because he was well-dressed, well-bred
and polished.
“I came to see you about the Kleno
company,” went on Ames, taking a
chair with pleasant assurance.
He might as well have offered to
bite the grain and feed man ; for that
Drew Him Down by the Lapels of His
Kissed Him.
and twice he quickly changed his mind.
“Wbuld the five thousand be in
cash?” he'avariciously Inquired.
“One dollar down,” Ames genially
Informed him. *
“You are taking up valuable time,”
was the quite expected answer, and
Mr. Phelps grew red in the eyes.
Ames produced a wallet, thumbed
over a sheaf of large bills and replaced
the wallet in his pocket. The sight
somewhat soothed Mr. Phelps.
“The dollar is to legalize a thirty-
day option,” Ames told him. “If I
don’t have time to find out whether
I can use the Kleno name, it has no
value to me at all. I wouldn’t gamble
a dollar and fifteen cents on it; but I
will gamble a dollar.”
Phelps still remembered the sight
of all that money.
“What do you want to do with
this?” he suspiciously demanded.
“If I told you, you’d try to do it
yourself,” was the calm retort. “If
you think that you can squeeze more
than five thousand dollars out of
Kleno, keep it; but you must decide
immediately.”
T. W. Phelps struggled severely
with himself.
“What kind of an option do you
want?” he finally asked.
“Ill write it for you,” offered
Ann s, and did so.
As lie passed over the paper, he
aga'n produced the wallet, and fin
gered through the sheaf of bills.
Phi-fps made a rough estimate. He
saw a one-thousand-dollar bill, and
at least ten five hundreds, to say
not'.dng of some small change, like
hundreds and fifties. That was an
extiemely comfortable sight, and he
read the option.
"Where’s the dollar?” he wanted to
know, aa he reached for his pen.
t Chapter VI.
“Give iqe a dollar," demanded
Ame.<
Doctor Dill reached hesitantly in
his pocket. He had perfect confidence
in Ames, but he was an inquisitive-
minded man.
“What’s it for?” he puzzled.
“The foreign travel fund,” smiled
Ames.
“Mother” Dill, watching his face
with the keen insight of mediumship,
fumbled nervously in her work basket.
“If you haven’t the change, I have,
papa,” she flutteringly stated.
“Invest a dollar of mine,” begged
Janet Stanbury, laughingly, but study
ing him curiously. “I’m going to Eu
rope, tOOi”
Ames glanced at her disappointedly.
The mocking light was not in her
eyes.
The doctor produced a much worn
silver dollar, and Ames noticed that
his look lingered on it when it was
passed over.
“Now read me your riddle,” the pro
fessor laughed.
“I warn you it’s a long shot,” Ames
confessed, “but here’s' the dollar's
worth I bought for you,” and he
handed over the thirty-day option,
made out to John Ames, agent. “You
see. I’ve indorsed it to you.”
“Kleno!” figure’ll the doctor, as he
glanced at the paper.
“The good, old-fashioned stuff,” sup
plemented John. “You have the bene
fit of a hundred and fifty thousand
dollars’ advertising, if you’ll only
change the name of Dill’s Bilious
Pills.”
"To Kleno!” choked Janet. “Isn’t
that the cleverest thought?” and, now
that she understood, that curl came
once more to the corners of her
lips.
"But what’s it all about?” quavered
the perplexed “Mother” Dill.
“It’s the first step in your attempt
to sell enough pills to go to Europe,”
Ames smiled at her. “The name
‘Kleno’ has been advertised all over
the country. The doctor will put up
some of his pills under that name,
and I’ll present them to some big drug
jobbers. If they undertake the
manufacture and sale of the pills,
under the doctor’s formula, it won't be
very long until you can buy your
steamer tickets.”
“Oh, do you suppose they will?”
trembled “Mother” Dill.
“Kleno!” exclaimed the doctor, and,
all at once, broke into hearty laugh
ter. ,
“The good old-fashioned stuff,” add
ed Ames.
“How very clever,” breathed Janet,
and at last John Ames understood her.
He had thought her intelligent; bi^t
she was only intellectual.
Chapter VII.
"Kleno!” exclaimed Clarence P.eak-
er of the immense drug jobbing house
of Beaker, Troy & Pestle. “I’ve been
waiting for Kleno. You're rather far
behind your advertising, though.
Some of our biggest customers have
beqn asking what it i^.”
“It’s a pill!” exclaimed Ames, pro
ducing one of the boxes, and display
ing the awe-inspiring globulets it con
tained.
Clarence Beaker, who was eliptical
when lie stood up, and could slip his
collar on over his head, took but one
glance at the pill, and did not ask
what it was made of.
“We’ll handle it with pleasure,” he
announced. “That was a good line of
advertising. ‘The good, old-fashioned
stuff/” and he* shook his periphery
with a laugh of appreciation. “Make
the price right, and I’ll give you an
order for a thousand gross.”
Ames shook his head. *
“I prefer a proposition for you to
take over the manufacture, sale and
advertising from this point on.”
“I see,” he guessed; “broke before
you get on the market.”
“There hasn’t been a penny’s worth
of Kleno sold, and a hundred and
fifty thousand dollars has been spent
in advertising. I won’t say that Doc
tor Dill is broke; but he does not feel
equal to pushing the sale of this pill
as it should be pushed.”
Clarence Beaker, in whise face there
were few features by which to judge
of his thoughts, shoved back the box
of pills.
“Sorry,” he announced; “but, while
we’d handle your pill with pleasure
If you’d keep up the advertising, we
couldn’t go into the game ourselves.
We have three cathartics of our own.
and it would be foolish to pay for
more competition.”
Ames, though with sinking enthus
iasm, studied the matter quietly.
“I think you are making a mis
take,” he urged. “The cathartics you
have are all of one type, and there’s
no new appeal in them. The very size
and color- of this pill would inspire
confidence.”
“Maybe so,” granted Clarence, in
differently ; but I’ve told you where
we stand, unless you can finance the
thing.”
“I’ll place It elsewhere,” decided
Ames, rising. “The name alone, fa
miliar as it is to the public, makes It
worth a serious marketing campaign.”
“The name’s a peach.” readily ad
mitted the leading drug jobber. “I
wish we owned it.”
Ames, who never let any commer
cial hint escape him, breathed a sigh
of relief.
“What will you give us for the
name?” he immediately asked.
Again Mr. Beaker’s expression un
derwent a change. It grew tighter
towards the apex, as he reflected that
the Kleno firm was probably flat
broke. v
“Of course we couldn’t begin to pay
yoit what you’ve actually lost in ad*-
vertising,” he indifferently stated;
“but I'll give you a chance to save
a little out of the wreck,” and he
drew the pills towards him again and
looked into the box. “How much will
you take?”
Ames studied hi» man in perplex-,
ity, and felt that he was unfairly
handicapped. He had never before-
tried to read a man who offered so-
little in the way of facial guidance.
“Fifty thousand dollars,” he
“bluffed.”
Mr. Beaker’s countenance widened
towards the base.
“Give you twenty-five thousand,’*
he offered; “not a cent more!”
“Cash, I suppose?” observed the
agent, as if in sarcasm.
“Right on the nail!” returned Clar
ence promptly, betraying his first hint
of eagerness.
Ames made no secret of his pleas
ure.
“Write me the ■ check, less five
thousand!”' he' exulted. “Here are
the papers and my Credentials.”
Mr. Beaker* examined those papers
with interest and a smile. At last,
his face hud expression.
“Option, eh?” I^e chuckled. “That’a
where the five thousand goes. Why,
Kleno was originally to have been a
cleaning compound! You know, I
don’t think it was a good name for
u pill!”
“That’s what worried me,” acknowl
edged Ames. “I hope you have a bet
ter use for it?”
"Tooth wash,” explained Beaker,
reaching for his checkbook. ‘Tve
been hunting for a name for a month,
but I never expected a snap like this.
‘Kleno; the good, old-fashioned
stuff r ”
“Yes, you bought a bargain,” agreed
Ames, thoughtfully. “I still believe,
however, you "would have found the '
pill a good proposition. It has been
tried for twenty years. It was former
ly known as ‘Dill’s Bilious Pills.’ ” ”
Clarence Beaker jerked the box
towards him.
“Dill’s Bilious Pills?” he repeated.
“Now, that’s what I call a name for
a pill; especially a pill that looks like
this! We might negotiate with Doc
tor Dill for his name and formula.
We can unload it on our druggists
without advertising.”
John Ames, agent, waited until he-
had signed all papers and had re
ceived a check.
“Speaking as Doctor Dill’s repre
sentative, I may say that neither the
formula nor the name is for sale,” he
firmly announced. “The docter will
manufacture them for you. himself,
hut cannot begin until his return from-
Europe, next spring.?
Chapter VIII.
Ames disliked to be cruel, but he-
had a test to make.
“Sorry, companions,” he reported;
“but they won’t have the Kleno pill
at any price.”
Doctor Dill laughed, with no trace
of disappointment.
“Mother” Dill's waxen fingers
locked themselves together, and then
she smiled very sweetly.
“Oh, I’m so sorry!” murmured Ja
net Stanbury, with softened gray
eyes. “I don’t care, Mr. Ames, it was
a clever idea, anyhow; a brilliant
idba!” ( - -
Ames felt a trifle ashamed of him
self.
“I didn’t come back empty-handed,
however.” he went on, and passed
over the check. “I sold the Kleno-
name for a fj>oth wash.”
“Twenty thousand dollars!” gasped
the doctor, clutching at the chin
which missed a beard.
“Mercy!” fluttered “Mother” Dill,
and, adjusting her glasses carefully
as she went, she hurried over to the
bird’s-eye view of Pompeii.
Ames stole a glance at Janet. Again
her gray eyes rested mockingly on
him, and the curl came at the corners
of her lips. She had penetrated him,
and why had he done all this, from
the-time he had followed, her off the
train until now, when he had tried to
test her? The curl came once more.
The doctor, having feasted his eyes
on the check for a long minute, slowly
passed it hack. ’ ■' •
“This don’t belong to me,” he de
cided.
“Why not?” disputed Ames. "You
paid for the option, and besides, the
check is a direct outgrowth of your
pill. I am sure I won’t have the
cheek.”
The doctor, who was a just man,
pondered slowly.
“I’ll divide it equally with you,” he
offered. “That is positively the only
basis on which I’ll do business.”
“All right,” accepted Ames, cheer
fully. “I have less compunction of
conscience about it, because I’ve made
a bargain for you to manufacture five
hundred gross of your pills a month,
as soon - as >you get baOk from your
trip to Europe. Beaker, Troy & Pes
tle think ‘Dill’s Bilious Pills’ a great*
name for the article!”
Janet Stanbury’s eyes glowed with,
admiration again.
“What a triumph of cleverness!”
she exclaimed, and there was no
mockery about her. However, Ames
reflected, her sense of humor was
liable to assert Itself at any time.
Suddenly he realized that she mocked
only that which she understood. The,
thing which had fascinated him had
been hut an imitation. He sighed;
for her potSe was perfect and her
lashes were long.
The doctor shook him by the hand,
and “Mother”' Dill, half smiling and;
half crying, drew him down, by the
lapels of his coat, and kissed him.
“You've made the world so real!”
she told him. “How soon can you go
to Europe,. Janie?”
s soon ns you can get ready.”
“1 ( «tter go along, John,” urged the
doctor, heartily.
ji l.u felt the eyes of Janet fixed on
hint, and that tb^re was wintfulness
in them.
“Sorry,” be regretted; “but it is urn
p9P» ibIe;t , J