The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, June 04, 1891, Image 1
t emem) aii b
ESTABLISHED 1865. _ NEWBERRY, S. C., THURSDAY, JUNE 4, 1891. PRICE $1.50 A YEAR
THE COB-PIPE.
A TALE OF THE COMET OF '43.
II.-THE PIPE.
BY DR. 0. B. MAYER, SB.
The comet continued night after
night to excite the wonder and specu
lations of the people. Yetta Elfins told
her father, with an air of indifference
calculated to impress the reader with
horror after the developments just
elicited, that in her opinion it was a
sign "somebody was plottin' agin his
life." When she was questioned about
her reasons for thinking so she replied:
"Wy, daddy, I've had a dream; and
I've dreamt it t'ree nights, one arter de
odder. Ef I was you, daddy, I'd run
dis here schoolmaster off, and I'd never
let him come anigh me agin; for, take
my word for it, he's got evil designs
agin you; and dis here ting, wat we
sees every night in de sky, is sent for a
warnin'. Oh, daddy, take my adwice,
and gid rid of Samuel Burns; for he is
minded to kill , you, as sure as I am
your dorter."
In uttering these prophetic words,
Yetta had gradually soared to the wild
eloquence peculiar to women. For
a while the old man was amazed; but
at length recovering his austerity he
cried:
"WTat de teffie ails de gal? Is she
beside herself ? Wat did you tream, you
hussy?"
"Wy, daddy, I dreamt dat de pigeon
house fell down," replied Yetta, seri
ously.
"Wat!" exclaimed Mr. Elfins in a
tone of voice not unlike a blow upon
the bottom of a tin pan, at the same
time planting his walking stick firmly
before him, while rage twinkled in his
eyes as he discovered that so alarming
a prophecy rested only upon an insig
nificant dream.
"Jess as sure, daddy, as you stand
dare," answered Yetta, gesticulating
vehemently with her head and out
spread hands, "jess as sure as you stand
dare, I dreamt de pigeon house fell
down, I dreamt it t'ree nights, and I
know it meant dat dis here school
master-"
"Shtop! you goot-for-nottin' hussy.
Dis is some voolish teffelment wat
Apram Priester has bin a wisperin' to
you; aud"-here the old man advanced
towards Yetta with his stick elevated,
not, however, to chastise her, but
merely to illustrate his concluding.sen
tence,-"ef I ever git widin reach of
him, I'll preak his rashkally bead."
- "Ah, daddy," cried Yetta, "Abram
once turned some strange cattle out o'
yoir-"
"It's a tam lie!" snarled the old man.
"And," continued the distressed
damsel, "Abram stopped de holes in
mammy's garden, so dat de rabbits-"
"It's anodder tam lie!t' growled her
obstinate father.
"Ah, well," sighed the poor girl, "I
see you will not take warnin'."
"Well, now, kin you tell me wid all
your treams wat goot it would do Mr.
Purns to kill me?" enquired her father,
with great reason.
"Wy daddy, surely you and mammy
ricollicks wen dis here schoolmaster
told us long time ago 'bout one Mister
-Guy Fawks wat blow'd up wid five
hundret parrels of gunpowder a whole
houseful of peoples in de olt countries
on account of de Roman Catolicks?"
questioned his daug;hter with almost a
Sibylline scream.
"Yes, py ching, I remempers it well
enoug" replied the old man, much
confused by the an.dacity of his dangh
ter's insinuations, "I rememper's very
well all apout wat he said, but I can't
see ennyting in it."
'"A b, daddy, you will see wen it's too
late," said she.
As Yetta left her father she muttered
to hereelf through her compressed lips:
"Yes, yes, I see it muss be done: I'll
have to blow daddy up with gunpow
der. Il do it sure."
Foolish girl! Will you provoke me
to make Abram Priester's execution,
and likewise your own, the denoument
of this story?
Late one evening A bram Priester was
cantering along the road leading to his
father's house from the direction of Mr.
Ellins'. It was Friday evening, and
Samuel Burns had dismissed his school
s >mewhat earlier than usual. He had
all day, much to the neglect of his
duties,. been trying his band upon a
work of art,--a piece of carving with
the blade of his pocket knife. Having
finished it to his liking, 1he dismissed
the p.hIl@en.to their respective homes,
and betook himself towards Mr. Eltins'
where he was invited by the old folks
to spend the night. Abram Priester
oastered swiftly on his way. His con
tracted brows and the almost convul
slve clutch with which he grasped his
br:dle-reins z'howed that thoughts of
an unpleasant nature were agitating
his mind. An abrupt turn in the road
brought him suddenly into a large old
field, and he wyas nea;ly thrown from
hips horse by the animal's darting to
o.ne side with a loud snort. Recover
ing himself. he saw advancing towards
him the figure of a man tidily dressed,
and holding in' his hand something
,which A bram's keen eye easily discov
ered to be a pipe "fantastically carved"
out of a red cob, and having attached
to it a stem of unusual length. Alas,
1his perceptive powers went further
than this pipe. In the rapidly increas.
Ing gloom of the twilight he neverthe
less recognized in the person before him,
- Mr. Samuel Burns; and his evil angel
caused the blood which his heart at
'that moment distributed through his.
"Good evening to you, Mr. Priester," c
said Samuel Burns, with studied pre- n
eision, as if he was afraid of pronounc- t
ing a word wrong; "I see you are com- p
ing from the direc';,,: of Mr. Elfins'; tl
are his people all at home?" tA
"Look here, Samuel Burns," answer- ti
ed Abram, "don't aggrawate me jess a
uow; for I feel dat dare's danger iu me. b
You know very well dat I don't go to it
Mr. Elfins'."
"No offence, I hope," returned the
pedagogue. S
"But dare is offence, I tell you; and I a
give you fair warnin', ef you ever skeer h
my hoss agin, I'll beat your nose so fiat y
upon your face, dat folks will say it was b
done wid a slidge hammer." b
"My dear sir," remonstrated Burns, d
"I did not frighten your horse, it was e
your horse that frightened me, for he b
nearly overran me. Indeed, Mr. Pries- c
ter, it is very plain that you are seek- a
ing opportunity to pick a quarrel with p
me. In your hands, I know I would
be as powerless as a 'lamb under the a
teeth of a wolf. By the by, Mr. Fries- y
ter, did you ever read Esop's Fables?" n
"No, durn your imperdence!" yelled 1
Abram, his blood growing blacker and A
blacker. s
"Oh but you must read them; for
they are most excellent. There's one
of them, Mr. Priester, I would particu
larly advise you to read. It is entitled
the wolf and the lamb. You see, sir, the
wolf sought for an opportunity to raise a
quairel with the lamb so that he might li
devour hin,. So one day they were
drinking from the same rivulet, and the
wolf accused the lamb of muddying the s
water. 'That can't be, sir,' said the
lamb, 'because the water flows from s
you to me.' At that the wolf tore the '
lamb to pieces, not because the poor n
creature muddied the water, but be
cause he aggravated one more powei-fulI
than himself."
"Samuel Burns," continued Abram, v
"You'll go on a foolin' wid me, ontil
there'll be trouble when you ain't ex- Y
pectin' of it. Did you git the letter I
writ to you yisterday, givin' you I
warnin'?"
"Oh yes, I received it, Mr. Priester,"
replied Burns", ha,ha, ha, it was a fine Y
piece .of composition. Why, Abram, k
you ought to come to school to me. I Y
could teach you in two months how to
write a better letter than that. You s
surely do not venture to write to the b
girls? They would all laugh at you."
At this Abram writhed in his saddle
and made a movement to dismount, in f
order to wreak vengeance upon the
man who was, as he thought, making
sport of him. His good angel, how- c
ever, came to his help and changed the 7
color of his blood back to the clear t
crimson of forbearance. In a moment t
be resolved to smother his rage, and g
urging his horse onward he disappeared t
from his accomplished rival. Though t
scarcely had he lost sight of him when
his blood began to grow black again, as f
he reflected upon the man's meanness i
in importuning a young woman to
marry him upon the strength of his ~
having the good will ot her parents.
He turned his horse round suddenly in C
the resolution to rush back, and with
out waste of words, inflict upon the f
person of Samuel Burns condign pun- 5
ishment. The fable of The Wolf and
the Lamb was all that saved the un
suspecting pedagogue. f
Regaining his composure, Abram 1
threw the reins upon the animal's neck, a
and sank into a deep reverie. At
Length he began to soliloquize.
"I ought to take courage," said he, a
"for dat same cob-pipe is gwine to be
his ruination. I 'clare, though, it's too
bad. I could make Mr. Elfins a bushel
of sich, and better; but it would be of d
no use. WVen people git so old dat dey
ai.n't got no more sense; but inns keep t
on a bodderin and a interfeerin' wid 3
wat dey ain't got dle feelins to under
stand, nor to ricollect ennythin' about;
but must keep on a bodderin young
folks wat has got to step in deir shoes,
and -and-a-take deir places, wy, I-I. b
[-I-"while stammering away at this s
personal pronoun, he had gradually, b
while standing up high in his stirrups,
raised his fist high above his head, and,
bringing it down with violence upon
bhe pommel of his saddle, exclaimed, -r
I-I'll be durn'd ef it wouldn't be right
o put 'em out ot de way!"
Beware, Abram Priester, beware!
The schoolmaster proceeded trium
phantly on his way, and in a half hour fi
knocked at the door of Mr. Elfins. He 1
was received with great distinction by t]
he old man and his wife. The pipe t:
was offered and accepted with thanks t:
xpressed, Yetta, who was in an ad- I
joining room preparing the table for P
the evening meal, recognized the voice e
f the visitor; and in an agony of dis- 9
satisfaction petulantly seized the P
fre-poker and inflicted a cruel blow
upon a venerable tom cat who was
purring good-naturedly by the fire. d
"Dare's dat schoolmaster agin," she b
xclaimed,-"dat ugly, yaller-eyed, i
pinty-nosed feller, wat daddy wants
mue to arry. Now, ain't it a sin r.id a
shame? Goodness gracious! wat sort of
a life would I lead wid him? I won't
ave him! I won't! I won't! I won't!" ~
At each asseveration she twisted her
pretty shoulders from aide to side, and ~
tossed her head and kicked the burn
ing chunks in a manner ludicrously
Lovely.
To show how such epithets, used by
an irritated maIden like Yetta, illus- r
trate the injustice which so gentle a pas- d
sion like love can inflict upon persons
opposing its smooth course, I must say 1,
that Samuel Burns was really quite a t
handsome young man. His teeth were e
regular and whbite, and he was well exer.
cised in the ex pressions that bring them ~
in view; his eyes were brown and full of I
ian; and his well-pomatumed hair lay'
i trained curls about his brow and
mples like unanswered interrogation C
oints. Nevertheless, what could all
3is do in the presence of Ab:am Pries
:r's stalwart stature, flowing hair, and
-ue blue eye that retained Yetta's imu
ge faithfully from one day's seeing c
er to another, except when it changed r
self to a dream on every intervening ii
ight. s
The old cat, unable to sati.fy him- g
lf as to what crime he had committed, w
fter loading the night air with his 3
mentations, ventured to approach his d
oung mistress, and rub his head under a
er foot. Yetta looked down upon d
im, and felt sorry for what she had n
one. A bright tear stole out of her e
ye, and picking up her pet she pressed n
im to her bosom, while he rubbed his t:
beek against her neck, and played b
-ith a ringlet that hung over her tem- p
le.
Ah, Yetta, that looks well. There is
spark of goodness. yet remaining in tl
our heart. Come, now, do not let us o
iurder your old father,-he is de- S
ided; but rather let us elope with n
bram Priester. and save our con- a
:iences from the pangs of quilt!
"Yetta!" 1
"Wat, mammy!" is
"Is supper ready?" 0
"Yes, ma'am." 'I
Mrs. Elfins, follow'ed by Mr. Samuel s
,urns and her husband, entered the a
ttle room, where supper had been set. o
"Why, good evening to you Miss v
[enrietta, a pleasant time to you," q
aid Mr. Burns.
"My name ain't Henrietta," an- tl
wered the incensed maiden, "it's plain a
etta; and it ain't a pleasat time to me
uther." - a
"Is that the way you talk to Mr.
,urns?" asked Mrs. Elfins, chidingly. tl
But youi musn't mind her, sir, she is p
ery young yit." n
"It's no sich a thing;-I ain't i<
oung," muttered Yetta, undutifully. G
My aige is sot down in de Bible; and v
was twenty years old last Easter li
fonday." y
"Well, now, hussy! will you hold r
our tongue? I reckin' I ought to s1
.now wen you was born. Whar's a
our sister Effie."0
"She's got skeer'd at dat ting in de s
ky, and is crept into de bed, wid her t
ead all kiver'd up." 'I
"Ah, Mr. Burns," began Mr. Elfins, a
tell us 'bout dis comit,-wat's de dif- o
rence 'twixt 'clipse and a comit." - y
"Why, Mr. Elfins," answered Mr. p
,urns, straightening himself didacti- p
ally, "the difference is simply this: a
lnmanick makers, or 'stronomers, as e
hey are sometimes called, can tell to c
he very minute when an eeclipse is i;
oin' to happen; but, to save them, e
hey can't tell when a comet is going tl
, appear." p
"Well," cried Mrs. Elfins, 'it's a aw
l sai-cumstanc3; and we ought to take r
more to heart dan we do."
"I 'clare," cried Yetta, shrugging si
er shoulders and pouting, "I wish
~would go away. I can't go to sleep c
n account of it." t:
"You foolish gal, you," said Mrs. El- f<
ns, upbraidingly, "ain't you got your
~ster Effie to sleep wid you?"
"Yes," exclaimed Yetta, "but wat g
in me and t-ister Effie do agin a fright- o
il comit--a dreadful fiery dragon wat
eked out its tongue at Mark Moyer, y~
nd tried to run its sting trough him." o
"I suppose," remarked Mr. Elfins, r
rastically, "dat you wouldn't pe
fear'd if Abram Priester-"v
"Oh, daddy, 'lo hush!" exclaimed o
"It's a warnin' agin a'll ondutiful chil- t<
ren," said the old man. t:
"No; it's more likely a sign dat some- n
in' dreadful is a goin' to happen to e
o, daddy,"c
Yetta! 1
[TO BE CONTINUED.] D
t
Fret not your life away because your
air is -gray, while young, as you can r
top all grayness and can beautify the
air with Hall's Hair Renewer and be
appy.f
"ALL HAZARDS."
he Governor says the Fameus Jones Case
Must Come to Trial.t
. - - e
[Columbia Record, 27th.] 1
The Governor has received a letter t
om Solicitor Nelson telling him that a
is exceedingly difficult to get all the s
irty-four witnesses for the State in t
he celebrated Jones case to attend the v
rial, as the venue being changed from y
dgefeld to Lexington, the fifty cents p
er diem allowed would not pay their i
penses. The Solicitor made thc re- t
uest that the Governor pay the ex- 1
enses out of his contingent fund. s
The Governor has replied, saying I
at he will do so, with the express un- o
erstanding that the Solicitor will
ring the case to trial at any and all
azards.
boy stood on the burning deck,
Unwisely, too, 'tis said,
'or, with the fast approaching fiame,
His elders quickly fied.
,, many now in peril stand,
Unmindful of their fate,
'ill, step by step, Grim Death conmes on a
And then, alas too late !
'ar wiser, surely, would it seem,
When his approach we see,
Vith "Pierce's Pellets" well in hand x
To vanquish old "*G. D."e
Pierce's Pleasant Pellets have re
arkable power to correct all physical
erangement, thus warding oft disease I
bat will surely follow. Purely vege- t
able, pleasant to take, perfectly harm
ass ! With a little forethought, they'll
e a present help in time of need
beating the doctor and robbing the
;rave As a Liver Pill, they are un
qualed. Smallest, cheapest, easiest to
ake. One a dose as a laxative, three orC
ur as cathartic. Tiny, sugar-coated I
TALK ABOUT THE NEW PARTY.
arlisle Asks Some Conundrums the Lead
ers Can't Answer-A Delegation Call on
Him and His Remarks Make Them
Thoughtful.
CINCINNATI, May 21.-The men who
reated a new party yesterday are al
:ady busy with plans for nursing the
ifant. They will feed it right off with
)lid food, and they'll take care that it
ets no soothing syrup. If it doesn't
alk with League boots before next
,ovember its nurses will be much
isappointed. No infantile maladies
re feared, not even the often fatal
angers of the second summer. The
en and women, who, in a frenzy of
thusiasm, rocked the cradle of the
ew born baby yesterday until the poor
hing's life was imperilled, are to-day
ragging about the youngster's good
oints with all the pride of parents
ith their first born.
In their great delight some of them
ought it would be a good idea to go
ver the river into Kentucky and asked
enator Carlisle what he thought of the
ew baby. They did so and they met
ith a cordini reception. Some of the
Vestern delegates have rather a kind
feeling for Carlisle. They believe he
i an honest man and they wanted his
pinion of the revolt they are leading.
'hey talked with the Senator about
me of their pet projects and asked
that he thought of them. Government
wnership of railroads and telegraphs
,as brought up and Mr. Carlisle turned
uestion er.
"Do you propose to get possession of
2ese properties by confiscation ?" he
sked them.
"No, that wouldil't be fair," they
dmitted.
"Then you must buy them," was
ie reply, "and to buy them you must
ay for them, and to pay for them you
lust tax yourselves. Have you any
lea how much it would cost? Our
'overnment debt at the close of the
rar was more than two thousand mil
ons, and we have been almost thirty
ears in paying half of it. The rail
ads, telegraphs, telephone lines and
;eamboats in the country represent
bout $10,000,000 invested capital; 44,
)0,000,000 is bonded indebtedness
rhich must be paid. Are you ready to
ix yourselves to raise this money?
'hen, after you have got the property,
re you ready to tax yourselves to
perate it, for the Government never
et succeeded in doing business at a
rofit? Consider another effect; such a
Ian would add- perhaps 1,200,00&men
nd women to the roll of Government
mployees. How would you ever suc
eed in turning out of poweran admin
itration with such resources at its
ammand? The more corrupt it was
Le more difficult it would be to dis
lace."
The delegation looked dubious and
erplexed, for the questions and sug
estions were evidently all new to their
iguine and enthusiastic minds.
"Anyhow," broke in one of them,
banging the subject, "don't you think
Le money power Is getting into too
sw hands?"
"Yes, I admit it is a bad sign," re
lied Mr. Carlisle. "But how are you
oing to remedy it? By a revolution
r by an act of Legislature? Do you
ropose to say by your Legislature that
hen a man has earned $100 or $1,000
r $10,000 that he shall not earn any
iore ?"
Again there was no response. The
isitors nresented two or three more
f th grievances which form the basis
f their platform, and Mr. Carlisle
sted first one and, then the other with
Le question: "How can they be re
1edied by legislation ?" And no practi
al answer was suggested. The fathers
f the new party went away with the
lea that, after all, the political mille
ium might not be as near at hand as
buey had imagined it to be.
Mr. Carlisle sees in the new party no
aenace to the Democraoy. He does not
uestion the present intention of the
~aders to put a third party ticket in the
eld next year. But he believes the
ituation will so change 'in the mean
ime that the project will be abandoned.
f the new party is iun the field, disaster
the Republicans would be the only
fect. In his own State, Mfi. Carlisle
elieves the Alliance State ticket no
uinated last night will receive only
bout 3,000 votes unless there should be
ame combination with Republicans in
be cities. Commenting on the uni
ersal opinion among those who formed
esterday's Convention that the Re
ublican party has about reached
a grave, and that with the present
urn of events the chances of success in
392 have disappeared, Mr. Carlisle
iid that several Republican Senators
.ad recently expressed to him the same
pinion in Washington.
CHARLEsTON'S REGISTRATION.
,us Than Pour Thousand Votes and the
Colored Registration Very Light.
(Special to Greenville News.]
CHARLESToN, May :33.--The books
f registration for the city, county and
state elections were closed to-day with
total registration of 3,985 votes, a
ttle less than one-half the estimated
oting strength of the city. Of this
umber not over two-thirds are regist
red on the democratic club rolls. There
3no' way of getting the number of
egroes who have registered, but it is
hought they will not exceed 5"0.
No Danger or War.
[Frmi the Minneapolis Tribune.]
It costs $8500 to fire a shot from one
if the Italian iron-clads. It would
ake about seven shots to throw the
COOSAW SCORES ANOTHER POINT.
The State Knocked Out by Judge Norten, l
and the Case is Removed to the Fed
eral Court.-Protracted Litigation
Now the Order.
[Special to The State.]
CHARLESTON, S. C., May 28.-Judge
Norton, in the court of Common Pleas
at Beaufort, accepted the petition of
the Coosaw Company and rendered a
decision that the case was properly re
moved into the United States Court.
The effect of this decision will be, it is
said, to tie the case up in the court for
about three years. Litigation will
now proceed in the United States
Courts without further interruption c
from the State court.
The followingare the essential clauses
of the decision :
"The question before me is whether
it is the duty of this court now to ac
cept said petition and bond and pio
ceed no further in the action. It is
agreed that it is, if a federal question
is involved, which must be determined
by this court for itself."
"Defendants in their petition allege
that they have a perpetual lease from
the State, the plaintiff here, for certain
property, (a contract), and that the
State claims to reserve possession of
said property by virtue of an act of her a
Legislature, which is void, because it
impairs the obligation of its lease (con
tract)." t
"Plaintiffs object, first, that it relies
on the invalidity of the lease, and not
its repeal; second, that the test under
K
the act of 1887 is whether, if its com
plaint had been filed in the United
States circuit court, that court could
have retained jurisdiction against the
wish of the defendants. In the act of a
1875 the removal is authorized in any
case arising under the Constitution of
the United States. That the act of 1887
is intended to restrict removals does
not change the well established judi- d
cial interpretation of words transferred
from a former act, unless the contest
shows an intention so to do."
"We have already seen that the con
tract supposed to show such intention e
does not do so. It is therefore the duty t
of the court to accept the said petition
and bond and proceed no further here
in."
"Wherefore, it is ordered, adjudged 0
and decreed that the petition filed by
the defendant in this action on 30th
March, A. D. 1891, for the removal of
this action to the United States Circuit
Court for the District of South Caroli- r
na, and the bond therewith filed, be,
and the same are hereby, accepted, 1
and that this court do proceed no fur
ther in this suit."
"J. J. NoRTON, Presiding Judge."
What Is a Billion Dollars.
8
The Mercantile and Financial Times
has taken the trouble to give a detailed
account of what is meant by the state
ment that the last congress expended
$1,000,000,000, This a round sum and I
a large one, but it is so easily said that
the words which express it do not
convey to the mind any adequate idea
of the vastness of the amount. For
this reason, the Times picks it to
pieces and presents it in various lights. I
Exclusive of interest-$1,000,00,000O
-the amount which the Republican
Congress has expended, would give
5,481 families of four persons $70 a week I
for fifty years. If loaned out a. 6 per
cent. it would give a return of $60, I
000,000 a year. One billion dollars in
silver would weigh nearly 50,000,000
pounds.
It would buy gowns for all the wo
men in this civilized world and shoes
for 50,000,000 homeless children. It
would pay for th.e education of 250,000 I
children from the kindergarten through
college, and a city lot apiece for 50,- 1
000,000 persons.1
If a man with this immense sum de
sired to throw it away $1 at a time, he
would be in.trouble. His task would 1
keep him busy 428 years. If he were
to attempt to burn $1,000,000,00Q0 in
paper money, $2 at a time, he would 1
complete his taa.c, by working night
and day, at the end of 12,840 years.
These figures show what the Reed
and Harrison Congress has done for
the taxpapers.
Soaped the Horn.
In the old days of camp meetings a
horn was blown to wake the congrega
tion in the morning. The instrument
hung near ,,he stand, and was generally .
sounded by some of the reverend
brethren.
Of course, a camp meeting is a great3
place for practical jokes, and one to
this effect was played on a brother at<
Bear Spring before the war.
A rascally fellow filled the horn with
soft soap. Brother A and B went
down to the arbor soon in the morning
to sound the horn. Brother A took
it, and standing in front of Brotheri
B, proceeded to blow a blast. Of
course, Brother B's slick face was
sicklied all over with the pale coat of1
soft soap. As soon as he could pre
vent strangulation, he spoke out some
thing to this effect: "I have been a
Methodist preacher for fifty-five years.
In all that time I have never sworn an
oath but I'll just be conessentially
smothered if I can't whip the fellow
that soaped that horn."
The vocai ,. .ans are strengthened by
the use of Ayer's Cherry Pectoral.
Clergymen, lawyers, singers, actors,
and public speakers find this prepara
tion the most effective remedy for irri
tation and weakness of the throat and
lungs, and for all affections of the vocal
organs.
Straw Hats in latest;styles and end
THE CANDY-PULLING.
till Arp Finds Candy Everywhere-Even
Sits Down Upon a Piece-Mrs. Arp
Glories in Pleasing the Little
IOnes.
[Atlanta Constitution.]
"What's all this rumpus about?" I
ame home to dinner and found the
Louse full and yard full of children
randchildren and other children. "Oh,
othing much," said Mrs. Arp. "I
romised them a little party and they
ave come over to spend the day, and
,nd brought some little friends with
bem."
"Well, but these door-knobs are all
tuck up with candy. "Yes, they had a
andy-pulling, and, I expect, have
aessed up things just like children
rill. I will wipe of the door-knobs.
nobs."
"Well, but there I've gone and set
own on a lump of it in this chair."
Mrs. Arp smiled and said: "Well,
here's the washboard and a rag."
I meandered out in the piazza, and
>und candy knee deep in everything.
'he chaps were in the backyard cook
3g dinner on a little brick furnace they
ad built. Some were toting water and
)me bringing wood, and they.had
otatoes and rice and eggs and butter
nd pepper and everyting they could
eg from the cook. The waterspout was
inning all over everything. I stopped
hat part of it and surrendered to the
est, and retired to my accustomed seat
t my desk.
"Who has been here projecting with
iy pens and letter pads, and turned
ver my inkstand and messed up my
apers?"
"Oh, I don't reckon they have hurt
nything. Rosa wanted to show me
ow she was learning to write. There
ras very little ink in the stand. I
riped off all she spilt."
I got up and walked in the garden as
EiDg Ahasuerus did to let my cholar
own, and I found where they had been
icking peas and broke the twine that
eld the vine up-Ialwaysstick my peas
rith twine--and so Icame out of the gar
en to let my cholar down somewhere
Ise. I looked all 'round for the children
give them a blessing, butthey had be
Dme alarmed, for Mrs. Arp had told
bem to run and hide. "Il wear them
ut" said I. "I'll wear them all out,
ig and little, old and young, I'm awful
iad. I'm as mad as a mad bull. Broke
own my pea vines!" and I mocked a
ull and pawed dirt. The chaps had
un up the ladder and got on the shed
of of the house and as I pranced and
ellowed around they smothered their
ughter until I was out of sight and
ben they turned loose in full chorus.
found the buggy pulled out of the
bed and the whip gone and the calf
vas tied up in the back lot with a
addle on, so I took my seat in the
ront piazza and put my feet on the
ailing and ruminated. My thoughts
arried me away back to my childhood
vhen I took delight in such things and
he whole picture came before me like
he turning of a kaliedescope. What
Spity that folks can't always be as
iappy as when they are children.
tout this time Mrs. Arp came out
ith a bundle of stuff and remarked
hat she brought home some pinks and
hrysanthemums that mnst be planted
>ut. "Are you doing anything?" said
he. "I am ruminating,''said I, solemn
y. "Well, you had better ruminate
ground for the gardin hoe, and I'll
elp you put them out-your back
ueeds exercise."
I was picking peas the other morning,
nd they were of the low kind,. I had
o bend over' smartly, and by and by
hen I tried to straighiten up, I couldn't
traighten. There wais a hitch and a
ain in my veins, the same old trouble
had once before when I worked in
he water hailf a day damming up the
ranch to make a wash hole for 'the
:hildren-so I hurried from the garden
o the house half bent and made my
isual fuss foi- help and sympathy. I
vas down for two days, and took medi
ie and chicken soup. and they put a
>ellydona plaster on my back as big as
letter pad, and it is there yet, and I'm
ot well by a long shot, but my folks
eem to think I am. If I get up and
:reep to to town they put me to work
asoon as I get back. IJused to have
oys of all sorts and sizes to wait upon
ne and do my bedding, but they have
ll grown up and left me but one, and
ie is at school, and when he isn't he is
ff some where at baseball or tennis, or
icnicking around. I am the boy now
-the waiting boy.
I was ruminating, but I found the
oe and dug around according to orders.
ast night at the supper table Mrs.
rp remarked as she was making the
~offee that to-day was another anniver
ary. I thought she meant a oirthday,
or they seem to come about once a
ieek in the family, and she always
vants to make a little present of some
ort-a spoon or napkin ring or sleeve
>uttons, or something. I tell you what
s a fact-where there are ten or a dozen
>hildren in a faimily to start on and
hey grow up and get married and
nultiply and replenish, and the poster
ty keeps on getting "more thicker,
ore denser," as Cabe says, and the
naternal ancestor is a large-hearted
woman, these birthday gifts and
vedding presents will keep the old
nan's surplus down as effectually as
he Republican party keeps it down in
he United States treasury. It is the
~asiest thing ini thbe world. I never saw
mother with a numerous flock of
ovely offspring but what she wanted
big house and a bushel-of money. My
wife is always scratching around hunt
ng up something for the children. She
-eminds me of an old hen with a brood
>f young chickens, always a-elncking
remind her of the old rooster who every
now and then finds a bug or a worm
and makes a big fuss and calls up the
little chicks, and just before they get
there he gobbles it up himself.
No, she didn't mean a birthday. She f
said that twenty-:.even years ago to-day
we were running from the foul invader
as fast as our good horse and a rock- ,
away could carry us. "Just about this
time," said she, "we were hurrying
across Euharlee bridge and I trembled
all over for fear it would break in two, t
for it vibrated up. and down to old t
Buckner's heavy trot, but you never
slackened up a bit, and we fairly flew
through old Van Wert, and too'- the
mountain road until we got to Mr. 9
"Yes," said I, "and we stayed all a
night there, and they did the best they 1
could for all the runnagees, Lit they s
dident have room for the men folks. t
and we slept outdoors under the wagon
shed, and the fleas kept us so lively
that we got up in the night and run
through the bushes -to brush them off,
just like cattle do when the flies are
after them."
"And the next morning about day
light,"said she,"the news came that the
yankees were coming, and we started
up that long mountain, and it did seem
to me that we never would get to the a
top. It must have been three or four d
miles up, and we felt pretty safe then E
and stopped awhile to rest, and then c
we scooted away to Dallas and rested a
there for dinner. and that night we r
camped out somewhere. near Powder c
Springs. The wagon and our tent and t
baggage kept up pretty well, but we t
found out we dident have anything to
cook in except a copper pot."
"Yes, I remember," said I, "and we I
sent Tip off to a little farm house to
borrow a skillet, and he came back
without it and said the old woman told
him the old man was washin, his feet
in it, and we would have to wait until t
he got through. She said his feet had
sores on 'em, and the dishwater was
powerful good for sores. Tip tried an
ot her place and got a skillet that wasn't
so popular."
"And next morning," said Mrs. Arp,
"we stopped to get some water at a
house, and the well was in the yard,
and it was locked with.a chain and a
padlock, and they wouldn't let us f
have a drop, and you gave the woman
10 cents for a cupful for the baby. Oh,
it was just awful."
"I believe," said I, "that we had
about seven children then."
"Yes," said she, with a sigh, "poor
little half-starved things."
"Why, they enjoyed it," said 1.
"They thought it was a big frolic, and
that we were running a race with Joe
Johnston, trying to see who would beat
to Atlanta."
"Stella was the baby then," said my
wife, looking at her earnestly, "a little
fretful, black-eyed baby, and now she
is sitting here a mother with a child of
her own that is so much like what she
was then that sometimes I imagine the]
child is mine and I am Aetting ready to
make a new run from the yankees."
"May the :fowl invaders live long,
when the devil gets them," said I.
"They kept you trottitsg, and. you bore
it like a heroine; you have seena good
deal of troublous life, and P'm thankful
that now your~ days are calm and
serene." BILL ABP.
The TMrd Party Drives Up.
[New York Sun.]
I am the Third Party !
Git on to my style
Will you ?
And my trinimin's !
By gravy.
I don't wear no socks,j
And my galluses is.
Fastened with a linehpin,
But I'm cuttin'
A wide swath
Right down the middle,
And they can't head
Me off,
Nobow !
Mebbe I am a sort of
A Farnmers'-Ailiance-Citizens'
Alliance-Knights-of-Labor
National-Industrial-Anti
Monopoly-Single-Tax
Prohibition-Woman-Suffrage
Greenback-Free-Silver
Potato-Currency-Socialistic
Grand-Old-People's party,
But what if Ilam?
What are they gaid
To do about it?
That's what !
That's what !
By zucks, I have come
To stay,
A d-no razor-back Democrat,
r slab-sided Republican,.
.hor ring-nosed Mugwump
Kin root me out !
I'm a forty-acre field,
That you kin mrke anything on
From a mortgage
To a bale of hay,
With a wagon load
Of dressin' throwed in,
And I don't give a durn
Who knows it !
Ikin grub up astump,
In two shakes of a lamb's tail,
And the old political .
Stumps has got to come,
Ef I bust a britchin'
Doin' of it !
You hear me !
Mebbe my cdo's don't fit,
And my cow-leather brogans
Hain't got no shine
On to 'em,
But that won't stop
Ther kickin !
And brains ain't
In that end
Neither !
All the American Eagle
Has got to do in this business 4
Is to set quiet on the fence
And watch my
Thrashin' machine go
When that oft mule
Gits done scatchini'
His back up agin the fence !
Hand me that whip !
Gimme them lines !
Now ! !
Wo-haw !
Jeewhillikins.
$
Origin of the Dollar and the Dimes.
[National'Educator.]
Mill from mille, a thousand, an im
Lginary money, being the one-thou
andth part of a dollar, or the tenth of
cent. Mille is from the same root,
nille passuum, originally a thousand
>aces. Cent, Latin, centum, a hun
lred, the one-hundredth part of a dol
ar. It is coined of an alloy of copper,
in and zinc, and is at egal tender for
he payment of sums not exceeding 25
ents, that is, you can not compel any
>ody to take more than 25 pennies in
ayment. Nickel, the five cent piece,
o called because it is made of the met
a nickel, which name is derived from
ick or Nickolas, the copper of Nick.
name given in derision, as it was
hought to be a base ore of copper. -:
)ime, from the French disme, which
i from the Latin decimus, the tenth.
C'he Dollar, from the German 7haker,
lerived from Thal, a valley, from Jo
himsthal in Bohemia, where dollars
vere first coined in 1518. Gold coins
xe legal tenders for all sums; the sil
'er coins, except tie dollar, only for ,
ums not exceeding five dollars.
The dolar sign ($) is not a mono
ram of "U. S.," but dates from 'the
lays when the transfer was made from
>panish to American dolars, and ae
ounts were kept equally in dclars
ad reals. Thus: one dollar y eight
eals (American and Spaish parellel ae
ounts). Later the 8 was placed be
ween the cancellation mark 181; then
he perpendicular lines crossed the 8,
nd finally the 8 shaded into an S,.
nd, combined with the cancellation
ne, evolved the present sign ($).
South Carolina Bible Association..
This body will meet in the Washing.
on Street Methodist church, Colum
ia, on Thursday, June 11th, at 3.15,
. m.
The annual address will be delivered
y Rev. Dr. William Grier, President
f the Association, and of Erskine Col
ege, on Thursday evening. Fria
norning and probably in the after.
toon also, there will be a business
neeting to elect officers, hear reporta
rom the city and county auxiliaries
hroughout the State, and to discuss
)ractical. subjects connected withthe
murposes of the Bible Society.
All the auxiliary societies in the
state are requested to appoint dee
rates to the annual meeting of the
state Association, and to send up fla.
md carefully prepared reports of their-.
work and progress within the pad
rear. The following are the
OFFICERS OF THE ASSOCIATION:
President, Rev. Dr. William Grier,
Due West.
Vice-Presidents-ist Judicial Die
~ret, Rev. Dr. E. T. Horn, Charleston;
kd, Hon. D. S. Henderson, Aiken; 3d,
B?on. T. B. Frazer, Sumter; 4th, Hon.
WX. D. Johnson, Marion; 5th, Hon' W.
El. Lyles, Columbia; 6th, Hon. 0.3J
Patterson, Chester; 7th, CoL. S. M
Rice, Union; 8th, Prof. J. B. Blake,
3reenwood.
Secretary, Dr- John Forest, Charles
Executive Committee.-Rev. Prof.
JT. Win. Flynn, (Pres.), Columbia;
Rev.-W. C. Lindsay, (Bapt.), Colum
bia; Rev. 0. A. Darby, (Meth.), Co
umbia; Rev. Ellison Capers, D. D.,
Epis.), Columbia; Rev. E. A. Wing
trd, (Luth.), Columbia.
The Association meets annually, its
nembership consists of all the offBers
f the several auxiliary and branch so
:ieties in the State (who shall be cr qf
feio members and entitled to all the
privileges of the same) together with
two representatives from each of said
societies, and any officers or colpor
Manrs of the American Bible Society
who may be laboring in South Caro
[in.
Dr. Grier as Annual Orator is a most
wise and happy selection and A fall
meeting is anticipated.
Dmereet Nar-zia.
"Health, Grace, Beauty: Delsarte
Philosophy made Practical," is pub
[ished (with 23 illustrations) in the
June number of that thoroughly wide
swake periodical, Demorest's Family'
Kfagazine; and you will want to began
practicing the exercises almost before
you finish the reading. And that is
not all you will learn from this especial
ly bright number; all (ladies included)
may learn "How to Harness and Un
barness a Horse;" even children can
learn from "Foes Afield" how to know
poisonous plants when tbey see them,
"Signs of Character in the Face" (very
rully illustrated) will teach you how to
read your friends' characters by their -
noses; and "China Painting for Begin
ners" will give you all the points nee
msary to do that artistic work, and -
without a master. $2 a year, by W.
Jennings Demorest, 15 East 14th St.,
N?ew York.
With health and beauty laden,I
A rich and priceless thing,
To woman, pale and wasted,
My precious giftlI bring.
Such the object and such the missio'r
f woman's valued friend, Dr. Pierce's
Eavorite Prescription. Don't let.un
-easonable prejudice prevent you from I
haring the health and beauty prof
~ered, in good faith, by thinost ex- -i
~ellent! None of the almost countless
weakuesses and diseases' peculiar to, -
women, but that readily yield to its
nuagical power ! Manufactured, re
:ommended, sold thrugb
md guaranteed by theWo17J '
mensary Medical Association
5. Y., to give, satisfactie-d sero'
ase, or money paid -fo sufv,,.
efundad. st
For nie '