The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, January 26, 1916, Image 9
NEVER AGAIN FOR HIM
MR. BURLISON DECLARES HIM.
SELF IN STRONG TERMS.
Good Reasons Why He Should Make
Resolution Not to Bring the Sun
day Dinner From the City--.
"Why, Henryf"
There was the look of a man with a
troubled soul in the face of Mr. Henry
lurlison when he reached his home
one Saturday evening. The smiling
face of his wife did not lessen the
look of grim determination in the face
lof Burlison. A wife with far less in
tuition than Mrs. Blurlison had would
have discovered that something had
gone wrong, an(d Mrs. ituirison asked,
"Why, Ihenry, what has happened?"
Iurlison stepped into the vestibule
of his home and dropped the suit case
he carried to the floor with a (lull
thud. Ills voice had an edge like a
blade as he said:
"Something ha: happened that will
never happen again if I live to be so
old that Methuselah will seem like a
kid when compared with Ime. This is
the last timne I save 15 cents by tak
ing that suit case downtown with me
on Satturday and bring home our Sun
day dinner in it to save express
charges-the very last time!"
"Why, Henry, what. happened?"
"Enough happened to make me tell
you that I'll eat ray Sunday dinner
from an armchair restaurant with glt
tering white letters on the window an
nouncing frankfurters and mashed po
tatoes for 10 cents before I'll do any
Saturday marketing with a suit case."
"But you haven't told inc what hap
pened."
"You would have seen what hap
pened if you had been with me just as
I reached the subway stairs. I s'pose
I had forgot to push down the clasps
that help to hold the suit case to
gether, and the thing was so crammed
full that it was too much for the self
locking arrangemnt, and the thing
opened right at the top Of the stairs."
"Why. Henry!"
"You'd say 'Why, Henry!' if you had
seen a six-pound P'hiladelphia ,capon
traveling down these stairs, followed
by three big yellow grapefruit and
half a dozen apples!"
"Why, Ienry!"
"A bunch of celery rolled down two
or three steps, and a man racing down
the stairs stepped on it and slipped,
and he threatened to sue me for dam
ages! You will find thr print of a
woman's boot heel on that pound of
butter, and I left the dozen eggs I
had bought on the subway stairs, for
.I would have needed a shovel to have
scraped them up after they had rolled
down six iron stepn! One of the
grapefruit rolled between the feet of
an old lady going down the stairs, and
she gave a yell like a maniac and
called for the police! A grinning idiot
caught up one of the granefruit and
flung it up toward mno, and two other
men pelted me with the apples!"
"Oh, Henry!"
"The bottle of r.aple strup spread
over six of t'le steps, and the people
carried it hm Ie en the soles of their
shoes; and the paper eanine off the
soup bone I had l'ight, ail I left it
lying at the foot of t-h sulwvy stairs.
All is, this is tl'e veryI lat tiine yii
over hear of mo savinig 15 c.nts in
t hat wvav ! My la(-eratt'dc fe'elings are
wortlh li least an: n nit .r, and
''Oh, TIen'ry!
'"1 left Pifi of myv stuff ill tie subl
Wa, ailt the'' tha' halfi wvill tast' hit
ter' to me wivn i 1 P1pk of1 t'mt gap
Jiuc, Igrining~, gin lin::, tittoring~ mob
thait faw% me0 tndim tlwe' with my~
('npi y and (lid-n suit ease ini my haiid
and( all thlnt s tff t raveling downa the
subway stairs!"
"WVhy, Ihenry!"--Judge.
GIRLS! HAVE A MASS
OF BEAUTIFUL HAIR,
SOFT, GLOSSY, WAVY
l dbls" beauty ofct you hai. 1
i hi in a le i iyue ater a a li
ea~ttl ofl)aiicleriine youiiicn ncot ccda
hI'igle lira ii o3 f d if or l ag ' hali
aern y o clii wil ntcli, bur t th ati
wirggy Jlaeu nst willena be hite aii
Ie weeds'ne use,1 wheu y sci nawi
hir and wy at atm.LJe ilcir: yme biut
rea'ly new hair lu growin ali l' avndth
i littandDluxurinei eiteydu
let ah 2beut ot yor hit. o-io
fern rom duly adrd, srle and
toeagy joustoten~ic a iclth wdith'
haidr ines c and arft. as dawyt
thatoitha been nealt d orn rmal
stan caels trme lt e sthats amazingyo
our ifr will jus IIht, flttle han
ine.adlxuine
he a a-cet ot ofin (nolton'
Wanderny froie anyidrg ctold is
htut o'uneand oe that iyouri
haroken Takpet ancod soge ay
ofbent ic en ngldcbtd or tenjraured
by aotel ereten--tAs sle-yut
Yurl wino have beautifhi and ull
sotakeyouwld. When tyou d ittl an
drineCabrans og oe
dy broken. ri Tkt a coldcklng aths
every mOrnainagl rwheuirtet. u
SQUIRREL AND KITTEN PLAY
Game of Hunting and Being Hunted
Watched on a Lawn in Melrose
-Billie Saves His Dinner.
In some sections of Melrose the gray
squirrels have been potted and fed to
such an extent that they do not hesi
tate to enter houses in search of nuts
and dainties. It is common to see as
many as a half dozen of these squir
rels playing about the lawns at one
time, and they seem almost to have
lost their fear of mankind.
The other day an odd incident was
witnessed in which one of these squir
rels figured. His squirrelship, locally
known as "Billie," was engaged in for
aging for some of the nuts he had
cached in the grass on a lawn near a
huge oak. lie was seen by a playful
maltese kitten about three months old
\Vhen it ,ioted the somirrel, the be
ribboned kitten became all attention.
Then, nature asserting itself, the kitten
crouched and began to stalk its quarry.
"Billie" was perfectly aware of the
kitten's proximity, and with one eye
watched its attempt at a stealthy ap
proach, while with the other and his
nose he proceeded with his search.
The kitten appeared puzzled at the
boldness of the squirrel and its curi
osity became aroused to such an ex
tent that it neglected its crouch and
arose to its full kitten height better
to see what the squirrel was doing in
the grass.
Then as the squirrel paid no atten
tion to it, the kitten slowly walked
over to within two feet of the squirrel.
Billie had secured his nut and calmly
sat upright to open it.
Without a preliminary crouch the
kitten jumped for the squirrel. Billie
leaped at the same instant, but went
clear over the back of the kitten. When
the squirrel came to the ground two
feet away, it at once resumed its ef
fort to open the nut.
That was play the maltese could ap
preciate. It crouched, wiggled its
slick length, leaped and sailed grace
fully over the squirrel. The latter
dropped his nut, but otherw ise did not
move until the kitten again came to
ward him, when in his turn lie jumped
over it. As he landed the little mal
tese ran for him, and he ran round
and round the kitten, purely in play
and without apparent fear.
For nearly three minutes the pair
kept up their antics. Then suddenly
thcre was a black streak from the
flower bed as an older kitten rushed
for the squirrel. But Billie knew his
ground ant. his rush carried him six
feet up thb trunk of the friendly oak
by the time the older kitten was at its
base.
Then Billie hung, head down, tail
flirting, and in his squirrel way gave
that black kitten a piece of his mind.
After five minutes of vain waiting for
him to come down, the i .o kittens de
cided they must delay their attack and
adjourned for a romp of their own.
They were scarcely 15 feet from the
tree when Iillie leaped down, secured
his nut and scampered back up1) to a
sheltering limb of the oak to enjoy it
in peace.--Poston Globe.
Marked Similarity.
The dispatches sate that in a de
tertinel effort to eralicate from the
Otl, :lt empire allt raemcs of t hings
I~ure;n, the< Yiun Turks have or
der.d tht- r me'm val ot all 1usii;jnioa
s-iam written in any other hlIgiuagu
v'ails in ('onstantiitnople on this ac-'
'o~unt. Tlwo-thiruds of t inuhbitatst
are. natives of othier ('oun1tries amtl
kniow little o)f the Tiurki'h pr'iited
intiriy dIitlicutlt to) ge't abo(ult, and thle
ave'rago i ciizen ('annlot tell from itsa
rigm whethier a build ing ftarbrors a
htl I or a sible)1. M.!uch the s'ume con
diltionl prev'aiis in thIs couantr'y. hi ere'
in Kansas City so few of the corne's
have street signs on them that one
can scarcely tell where he is. The
Metropolitan conductors call thle
str'eet names in an unknown tongue.
And in flue average village there is a
Pa lace hotel, P alace I arbrc1 shop11,
Palace restaur'ant, Palace livery sta
ble, andl 50 on, with iIIttle in their ap1
p(earanuce to diffet~rentilate one from the
othier. The op'ry houise never' housed
an op'ry, and the moving~ picture
shtows uisiuly hea r such1 ntames that
0one woulId faIn wonder wh'ther' they
are movie t hiralers or beauty lotions.
--Kansas (City Star.
Tiny Pellej Brings $500.
A little round ball 01' paper0 which
M's. Chuarles R. Vincent dug out of the
pocket of an 01(1 sweater she was
washing made her heir to real estate
valued at $50o. The paper proved
to be her hiusband's wvill.
Vincent died on March 29. Is wid
ow knew he had made a will, but a
fivi rronthn' pormic failed to reveal
where he had put it.
Recently she took down the sweater
her husband had worn, and which had
bieen hanging in a closet since his
death, She washed it andl was about
to wring it out when she noticed a
lump in one of the pockets.
Mrs. Vincent unrolled the paper,
dried it and ironedI it out, It be
queathed real estate at Pine Brook,
N. J., to her, The widow took th~e
paper down to the city hall and had
it admitted to probate.--Philadelphia
North American.
in Peace Also,
Prof. Irving Fisher of Yale says the
cost of the war in money and lives is
small compared with its cost in the
emptied cradles of this and future
generations. We desire to remind the
profensor that peace bath its emptied
cradles as well as War has.-Houstoa
Post.
STPOKE NO. 1---OLD STAND ----- - -__--w U-- "'WIO_. S'OiLEiS SE';Jl,!.1 --~SAMIE
STORE NO. 2- -IN 0. B. SIMMON''S J .b r s LS INY
STND . Brs CRED IRON RACKET
SSecilJanuary Sl
h ' " r 7 ,
1\'e Xj)Ct Id Jth \ i t i S ' c1,1 M il' aI In urIs, , ,11 Il '.. . 4. 2
wofl ' hit s 111( to ap jl2.OO so ho ni ll fo . 8 \
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y~ ,o
8I P 1.I *J\ I .I, S l ) I'"t 9 S ..eEI, .J+"\Ie -\ 7^"' I II~iL S
A I I O ( I I ' ' .I I \ ( t" . u a 4 ( U ) ( t I ) S * ( f N ( H \ I,~ t I ( \
Yr.t S u t .t L " $ 3 . 9 $ 5 0 0 $ 7 5 u p 1 b r l i i , ii 1-ul 0 8. ,
L.A
t(I 1 jd . I ll t Ii i C n k t r e t lot ni L t e I eln I i t~ ~ p e I . 'v
A ko ttiu Itov s Suits von titt s iN Itotit itri p 061
t(1' ' IIit s.~ o1n ait .9. $5.00 $7.5 1111i
I t ti j $12 .50. 1 1 v ,11it'" (.t ot iuts i ar w o t r1.0 "y4"I, Sa e p ..f . ... ... .. ... .6 1 l t iot l Ar 1 111t'. I uvrh' . , Sal- e p... . .0 5
:11x, IltrI~r ' ti 111 11' .;1,11lt. heav Huleil ,e'i . tit.' i', Sai1(
dollaslit5at J1. (. i-tri & Co. 1.00 :\l,1-11 ('llothk Sale jt rite .... 5 c rice. . ... .... . 3
"n d > 1 , $ifG 9 M e ' S h e a l q . ".
Sale $1.35 Special values $3.39 down p Special 98c Ladies Shces
and up $1.69 Men's Shoes all kinds up to $1.45 all kind 2.39
down to $1.18
k s bi t i u ry S'ap I.... .... .25 s eial a lie .\ . .n n \\ . , . . 11 ts 11ht Is 07 1-2.
I )I."I,1" \\rluI i t ....ii .. ' ~ ~.. .... . 4 9% a~. x n on , s l. jii , (at'1i.......0 xIt . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . 101
- s ..\\.....h.w r ... . .........7 .... .25 ..s .35 l ins, aa le .ri. e. .-h .. . . 0p 102
5I . Huii ' \Vhip 1.........10 San -- - 2- - -- -- .. ... . .7 .' value Alen's \Vor'k Shirts, Salt picee .35
- --.... -.. . . 2 it . . . . . . . . ..ae e.his Itt' .i '.s . 1. as,1. l...ri... 69
1 . w ( n r ("k " L n d r b1 i1 . .5 .I .. . .. .. .. 1.p0al l t C l i n o t h G , S a eo l o d T h r a
..... ... .1 ric .... .... .... ... .... .0412 .A. sal l in ( h-s w Sh rk e i 10
. lat y I T t On l e ..t . .. . .. .i lot 1l e 2 .ruts. a6ing. \1' 11- 'I1 ta -o Salr wi' t. i ;h. p.: *-t
1(1-<\,111ali 1.y 'b ' l t . .. . .... .10pi7 . . .... .... .... ..... .0 1 e b.... . . ... ... .20. .i ..3
am11.aile= .33 ma1l' th i .a-t IJgmsa eene ..~imasfa
11~ ~ ~ Ein.~i 1,1 I fl V 1:I '11.
i(L S A- rtOs
Worth Hosiery
S~c rawrs 9c $.25our for Everybody Special $1.25 to Special Special at 23c
Sale price 95c 7, 10, 13 up to 38c 10c $2.98 19 to 38c others c
Why pay more at some other store, you can buy same goods from 10 to 35
per cent less at
RED IRON RCKETSTORES
J. C. BURNS & COMPANY
1000 ARGAINSj ALWAYS BUSY. THERE'S A REASCI~ 1000 BARGAINS I