Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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4 ~ S.C. .1ESTABISHE 1AL ZA " K Y I)T12k'INNNBO OS..-OCT(-)3R17 89 4. Cl 0! - n H AVE al ways had L aremarkably large number of frieuds of my - own sex. Lest Shis should lead people to give me an undue amount - " of credit for amia s -n. sweetat8z cf disposition!. I nn: y a ti ste at once that I have a I ycssema aIs0 of a fair amaount e b:-..u:, t uaere for a moment dece-ie i a- to the! n-ature of the affec tiou hivishediri m. I::- most of my temnal frienr. 1. wLen myir dearest Chlou, the g;il [ realy thought loved Me for MY myself alie, told mU. she was eugaged to bei married to my Irother. Fred, I grief and auger kn ew n bouais. I had gouc over to stay all night with ?au=d. and had laid awal:e till 3 a. mn. .xchanging contidences. and all the ie the sncal: never said a word about red. At last I dropped off to sleep ld wal j:at in the midst of a glorious dr'.'i iI which I s leading the c:il Iu with a inazujtieent nan wiih '-;ful v s aud a btuk account II - avn d wheu Maud suddeuiy - rs abou ty neck. entire v t in i,- cimy wind Pnd scariug e ".al . ig.-o uervrous prostratiou. a- 1 e a by..r & to5 conlesa 0' t.e jd1 ibeen keeping a seoret o m or i wh day:. and that we **e' e lbe really. truly sisters. not inst sit-n s iu affectiou, as heretofore, etc. 1 managed to wriggle out from un der Maud's arm, and then I sat up in bed and said thing:. I don't remem ber exactly what tbeywere, but they must have been pretty bad, for Fred idn't peak to me for a week (of course Ma-ad had to tell him), and Mlaud her self went around looking like a suffer ing martyr whenever we chanced to be under the same roof. I was convinced that I was the most miserable girl in the world after that, and the worst of it was that every body, including Maud herself, thought that I was only r -d because she was engaged first. an naputation which I Lee.& not say was entirely unjust. I'm sure I could 'not see what Maud had done that was so won- rful any way. Fred is anything bu. brilliant, and I never considered him even good-locking, while as long as mamma lives lie hasn't a penny to his name except his salary, which is' by no =eans princely. But MauAd Tou'd have thought she'd landed a Vanderbilt or a poet lw'eate the 'way she acted. z.retenided not to notice her airs and nursedi my grief ipmoroud silence, bu 1 inad nodob --. t 6:f~ g~ti nao creature that ever lived. until oubsequent eveusts tanht me that uur affairs are m-raniged ler an all-wise Providence in whom we may safely trust, no matter ho-v dark our way may seem at the timeO. I shmll never doubt the wis dmof Providence again. To begin~ with, i found I was likely t) get a t of amusemner.t out of this engag~ement. Fred w as madly jealous cf Maud all the time. though anyone could'see with half an eye that she was EimplyI mad abenut him and iC dealy* fear of losing him herself. He~ would come home at least three timeos a week, pale, haggard and wiid eyed, a ::an bereft of hope. The rest of the time he was madly joyful and talkccd abcut Maud as if she was sveral degrees higher than the seraphim, It was enough to make a St. .Ber' ard dlog laugh just to see him. I also found further consolation in the fact that his state of mind inter fered seriously with Fred's appetite, that I got all the extra pudding and things that had always fallen to his share (Fred was always a greedy thing), and then Pereevai Jones came froma abroad. Perceval was a millionaire's son, with a face too beautiful for words arnd a taste for Ibsen. Of course all this made him desira ble beyond most other men, but .I must say the way the girls of Archer ville made different kincde of fools of themselves about him was enough to disgust ev-en a woman's rights advo cate with her sex. I need hardly say that I was smart enough to treat Mr. Jones with marked coolness. The first time X met him my behavior seemed to puz zle the pampered youth. The second time he appeared distinctly grateful. On the third he asked permission to cali, and I went home at peace with all the world, even Fred. ior ti;-e consecutive afternoons after that I sat by the tea table in the back drawing room, attired in my best gown. expecting Perceval--in vain. On the sixth he came. " What a delightful surprise," Isaid gushingly. I was a tride nervous from waiting so long. " Ah, thanks," he remarked, look ing disappointed. An~d then mamma came in, and in spite of my previous warninge fin ished! thing by treating~ Mr. Jones as ii he was. .Albert Edward or Mr Ra::orat !Matt royal 'duke. Mamcma ttever e-y:l resis'. a milion Our visitor took his leave in less than half on bror nd T knew that Unless I akdopted desperate measures Percv'al JInes was loSt to =e for Bat 1'm not one to give up easily. and after thinking hard thinks all night T fnally hit on a plan and went to sleep, at doybreak and slept till 1oon1 s'reetly and as inaccently a o child. Early in the aternoon I telephoned to Menud and asked he.r to g with me out to the golf links at _ o'clock. Then I telephoned to Fred to meet us there and proceeded to make a fetching toilet with a light heart. When we reached the links there was MIr. Jones ,he had mentioned that he was going the day before'. i He was looking bored as usual, bat cheered up when I treated hinM with hanghty coldness. I elad.'d his attempt. at conversa tion, 4 -, and threw 31and in his way :ver I could. I dewarded by seeing him seat himuself by Maud's side and coamence a disquisition on Ibsen as Fred came round the hill cn his bicycle. No s;ooner did Fred's eye light on the couple thaa lie commenced to glare like a madman, and in spite of may iunoceut eTort to keep him away be wuad up by ing so outrageously rade to Mr. Jones that that gentle man was confounded and Maud went beine in tears. As for me, I went to bed happy. My plan was working to a charm. A day or two later I got mamma to ask Mr. Jones to dinner and managed to have him take Maud out. That settled it; Fred treated Perceval in such an insulting manner that even he could hardly overlook it. and he left early, to muaama's distress and toy qecret ivy. Afte.r tha I begaa to meet Perceval every tiine I went out v! the house. No vatter whetr I walked or drove or rode a wheel. I w-a sure to en counter him betfore lonw v '?e'o Lae vu my way, leaviug 'me al wy W u r retn: st the end of the 'str"c' le~adinmg to ''ur hue "'ince your brother. 'w' i- your I guirdiau. disliker me so, I "nnuoi go I to your how. h whuud say regre fu.ly, and I vould blush and stammer au an.oogy. "But I muet see you in snitc, of bi." Perceval would add wi a melting glance. and I wvuld go home in the seventh heaven. At last, after three weeks of this surreptitious courtship, Perceval could stand it no longer. "Be my rife, Rosamond," he cried one day. "Never mind what they say at home; I must have you-I never knew what love was before." Poor boy. he had never known the bliss of trying for what he wanted. Before this it had always dropped into I his lap. Bat I coaldn't trust him even then. "Oh, no." I said timidly. "I dar', not, Fred would kill you if he thougbt of such a thing." "Let him try," said Perceval val iantly. "I'll have you in spite of him. See, here is the minister on his porcb, Rosamond. Come, darling, he wil give me the right to claim youro your brother. IAnd before I knew what I 's about I found myself in the * ~ r's par lor being married un a bicycie skirt an )iuk' c sto hirt waist. Ten minute later I walked into ca s offce. ieaving Perceval waiting outside, locking a little pale about the gills, but with a combative gleam in his eye. "Fred," [ remarked coolly, as I looked my brother square in the face, "IJ want to thank you for what you've done for me. I'm Mrs. Perceval .Jones, by your leave.'' Then a smile of incredulouis relief spread over his face. "Gosh!" he ejaculated. "To think that the fellow actually wanted you:" How the Corest is MIade. Women have no hand in shaping the corset which she and her sisters are to wear. A rough draft of it is put on the model, and the man de signer indicates the length and the curves by marks. When it iits to his satisfaction a plaster cast is made of her figure with the corset on. From this cast iron "forms" are made. A pressure of 600 pounds is brought to bear upon the corsets which are fitted to the 'forms. This enables them to mould the forms of their wearers to prevailing fashious~ and leaves not a trace of a chance for personal idiosyn cracies. The sheath Sttin~g skirte are respon sible for several devices for obtaining snugness at the hips. Corsets are ratiher longer than last year, but still easy above the waist. The Russian Minister of Education is said to have prohibited the use of corsets before the age of confirma tion. The manufacturers receive a great many applications from fine looking. girls who desiro positiouis as models for fitting aind photographing. itut they tind it di'mcult to secure girlk who are willing to. h'ave their faces ph' tographeol for adver"'.tiemndts. This acc'uts for the advertisment pitures which have ganz " '"read be fore the face. the face tur'ned "aa. hidden iu the armu or com'"'e'e byv a' fan. Man uv' these girl*, m'ose for artists. Dealers pay fromu .2 to M0O0 for the privieg of litting~ and photo' graphing. in addition N the usual tim'e ral es paidl by artists. Queen Wilh"' nin' g'es to bed at frst toilet i. a g 'i.koe for it1 wal___ 1,i . 4pr. & these er:7.r from her eseris i he ha a cup of chocolate in her room and th.eu makes n elaorte toilet. STAEM OF P-LUC ANID ADVEN~TURE,~ Ferguson's Brave Deed. Arthur M. Ferguson, whose home is in Burlington. Kan., is Corporal of CoLpanv E, Twentieth Kansas. He is a real hero, too, for his was a dar ingr deed or the night before the bat tie of Calurapit, in the-Philippines. The Rio Grande de Pampangai flowed between the two forces, the Americans in the open and the Fili pinos in the trenches. The greatirou bridge placed there by the railroad company was the only visible means oi crossing, and the sleepers had been torn from that. Colonel Funston-he won his stars at this fight-was looking far away to get across and make a night attack, give the Filipinos a scare and prac tically turn the tide of hattle before it begun. The bridgc stood there iu all the glory of steel girders. Buti right across where the railroad track 4ouee ran was a Filipino trench, and there was every reasou to believe if was there to defend the bridge. The night was cloudy and threatening rain. Once in awhile the lightning would flasb, making all things as clCar as at noonday. Colonel Funston called for a volun t'er to go acrLt the bridge with the object of learning if it could be crossed by a body of men, and what they would find at the other end. Ferguson volunteered. The Colone shook bands with him a:v they tstood there in the shadow of the emlbank ment "Beneiber, I do not sei You, Ferguson," the Colonel gi"i *anil 'It we C. 11. ""L I" o r_" hunow you have performed one of the. mIost daring deeds of the war." i'eranson went. He pullcd orT his unifori, wearing only his brown underclothes and his belt and revolver. Ferguson told the story one day as we sat in the shade of the bamboo hedge at San Fernado. He is a young man with a brown mustache and hair that has a slight inclination to curl. He is stocky, too, the severe campaigning he has passed through putting him in good condition physically. Of course he is tanned. In fact, he is brown as an Indian. "I don't think it was much of a trick," he said, as he twisted a bam boo branch. "It could easily be done in the daylight. Of course, I didn't walk across or creep across. The dightning prevezted that. I had .to ' get out of sight. My underclothes -n ould probablyhave blended me with the bridge in the darkness. ano . "The bridge steel, with steel cross pie parallel to the girders, and just derneath them I made my way up over the stone abutment, and I hoped it would not lighten until I got well down under the irons. It did, though. and for the life of ime I don't see how they missed me. But they never saw me, and the light gave me a chance to see where to put my feet. I could see, too, that the bridge had been stripped of everything that would do to pnt a foot on, with the exception of a .couple of stringers alongside the handrail. I saw that if this ran the length of the bridge a single file could come along by holding to the rail. T made up my mind to follow it. "lit was ticklish cratwling along there, with the river right uder me. but I knew if I was careful 1 could get nacross. _ I crawted along until 1 camne to the first pier. Here I found the iron gir der was broad and solid. It rested on the top of the stone pier and I had something mighty solid under my feet. It was necessary to go aroun.. it, an d that brought me out in view of the trenches again. There was rno use trying to go fast. When it was dlark it was so dark 1 couldn't see, and when the lightning came I was partly blinded by the flash. So I had to depend mostly on touch and somnewhat. on my. general knowledge of the construction of bridges. "I managed to get around the big iron and then began to crawl along the cross pieces again. By this time I learned about how they ran and got along a little faster than I did at first. At last I came to the second or middle pier. All this timne, of course, I was getting nearer to the Filipinos. I went around the second and third piers. . There was but one span be tween me and the insurgents. I raised up and poked my head just a little way above the iron work-just enough to see-and waited for a flash ei inthtpin g. -It came presently, and there. right in the center Lt the bridge. w'as a sentry. lookiug up the bridge for all he was worth. But. he imissed u~e. I guess I w'as too close. Tho:n if they hsd opened tire they couldin-t Lare doue mucht hurt to mne oi' aec'ount of tho irou werk. 1 made up my tumad to go a litti:2 clser. so' I crept aroun aboutt hnalf-r:aiy across the; bpau. "A I aiedu 'a:.:an 'ny ry stre -m drp-d r cauuo b'A ear tem* iang bfre I raied up. i squeue down * quict:.k end 1 coul 'uess. ibh: Ib: fello" w-r do*m* a h the irou. I col make1-hu! a trev ch bridge( and OIiu its :g-proache. this end I found1 ' paa. ofth f' bridge that tau beside th' rail-ra for aniy body of soldie: to reach with out 'caing dicovred. "After I got all the information I could I started back. When I climbed over the bank Colonel Itunston vas there waiting for me. H seemed glad to see me, but when I told him how he would haveto cross-onehand on the rail and both feeton a six-inch stringer-the colonel hesitated. and then said he would not try it. Aftel that the colonel tried to cross on araft and was discovered and ired on." This deed of 'Urguson's may or may not get into the histories. but it was as daring, as any one will allow who iooks upon the 2000 feet of ironwork he crowled through that night. A Gog Experience la India. No vision of death is more appall ing than that which comes to a man sinking inch by inch in a bog. His struggles intensify the agony, for they cannot avert his doom... An English oficer in India went out one afternoon to a lake to shoot ducks Two get up Irom under his feet and flew across in arni of the lake. With the first barrel he shot one, and the second brought down the other, which fell on , sort of promontory. A native at. tendnut went to retrieve the first bird, itd the officer thought he woutld go round the arm of the lake and pick up the seconi tone for himser. The attendant shouten somethiug, l which he gave no attention. but weut on to the promontory. He had ut gone far up when he f31t the gI.ouud quiver in the peculiar way that denotes a bug. Immediately be ras frighteued, and did the worst Ahing possible-he tried to get back to solid land by a succession of leaps, Df course he broke through, and with 1 yell he saunk in the treacherous mud. The mi re he struggled the deeper C Saiik. He got his gun ncross the mud. aii it gave him a support for a minute or two. Then he and it e rPi to Sluk. H realized thatt he was q 1o1)iv but sufelT iuking - to d:tht. It bio -1A not c"noie he was 10t. Tt, Oudan was not tj ]' scen: he fr itagouy. He had sunk up to bi,uuldrs. wle he heard a shout. all right: we'lae yuout:" .' th bhikarec (uative hunter l the bog w I rpe lied t 1i.;. I be officer felt the rope put 1untct hi arms, and then he laintued When he came to his senses lie found himself supported > a friend's knee. The attendant hadrushed into n and told the shikaree what had hap pened. He got a rope and roused the officer's two friends from their siesta, They dashed down to the bog an. hauled out the officer who seemed like a dead man. Ten minute3 more, s: the shikaree declared, And the office; would Lave sunk out o sight, for thi bog was the most dangerous place iu the country. East, of JavT It is a legend of th that leopards atnd tigers cau fas peacocks, and a writer in the Londo! Spetator refers to the experience o Colonel Tytler to show how strongi the faith of the natives in the story. Colonel Tytler, while stalking: peacock, was surprised to see hos near it allowed him to approach. Thb bird paid no attention to him, hn was gazing intently, as if fascinatedi at a little patch of jungle just in front Looking in the same direction het sa a leopard stealing on ita belly to ward the bird. He was surprised but his astonishment was greate when, on raising his gau, one barre of which was loaded with ball, an. covering the animal, the .ieopar threw up its paws, and shrieked in voice hoarse with terror, "No. Saib no do 'tfire!" Colonel Tytler for a momen t though ho must be going mad. The nex moment he .,aw a mar disgise~d in: leopard ski with a well-stnffed hea< and a bow and arrow in one paw standing before him. The man s dressed was a professional fowler who said that in that .disguise ha could always app;roach near enough t, shoot the birds, and sometimes catci them in his hand. An Act or Lierclem~ at Santi,. Amcag the many stories of persona heroism narrate.] iu the press ,is patches during the Santia~gttcampaigt was one that still liagers iu thu memory of many reader,:. )Un .1in! 2, the day following the remarkabih storming of San Juan Hill. a ht detachment of the Tenth Infautri lay in trench to the left ot the activity in the focus of a four-corntered Spau ish fire. The dieadly Mauser b'ullett droned incessantly over their heads, an'd to venture out was to court a! most certaiu death. but the men hzu liu for hours under the blazing Cuban ~u. and they weie elamnoring for tergtaut Claudl l. Henderson. ol Ct'mpany G. vounteered t-o go after it. Hes picked up a pail. vaulted coly otver' the emauliment. erossed tie lead.set pt opeu, and reached the i er .Li Eaft . lo.lis way bath he iidt i, go slower.o as not to spill the~ precius fluid. and. ho was atarge: fos sc're tf Lhatpshdo ters;: but by ai iri be ''s~ w utuche.A dozen Lad- ee ibe pail, andi the Ser ge:'ut wa~. in the at of claim'ering I.a to heiter -vher anish bulle: sbuers4-i . right foot. His com-a rades dir-e im iun uto thec trench. el there the- 'dtor ende,1. it was :ueel ' de.tace- p.isoderl i the ear-miele 0f"~r ' atIut it had thle ' ar and an woudere& n at bcamir ~ 0 ooper. T frxt a, Neb., WE MAYGROW TRUFFLES A LOT SENT HERE FROM FRANCE EXPER!AENTAL PURPOSES, Experts of th~e Deupartm.e:t ef AzrrCul. t'ite Ueilese Tlat the Industry Can 1)e Esft1Abished in This Country creasing Uses rer Truffier, The United States Department of Agriclture has received from Pro fessor Walter T. Swingle. one of the agriculture explorers sent abroad to look for rare and valuable seeds and plantb li eiy to be grwva with profit in this country, a number of seeds, plants and articles of food which it is thought may prove of value to the American producer and cousumer. All of these will be experimented with by the Division of Seed and Plant In troduction within a short time. a'IAMong the things sent over from_ Francc are a lot of trumes, an article of food which can iu all probability bo produced with proffit here. In France the truatle inldittr7 i growing rapidi ly, and promises within a short ti:a to become one of great value to agni-ul. turists. P'rofessor Swinglebelicve, that we can produce in this co1untTy all tbe truffles we need, whereas now we imiport every one that goes on the table. The truia iudustry in France has in the last few yers increased rapidly. and now awounts to more than $~5.000,000 annually. and such is the dem-niaud for tr'Is that from I mere side-issue oi the part of farmer; their cultivation has developed into a regular bus incs of great proit. Tralpe rai.singk IS very neesig a:i i e o'ier to carry it ou sccess- I I fuIllv one miut bave consbiderable skill aid pieu( . Trimies. it iS. well Inow, cre a fiui'na .g rth like mbut invtead 4f 'n 7 onl the surface. the~y ar~e fouT1'v froml ten tIn twelve iceblwteGon elitging to root ees. and it re- I Ito ivrthm Teeriser ally esteemed powirfullv fraraut. sJ its,1 nueuike state the trumI~ i- comi greeable I at'. Lik]ush' there ae var:im3 sp'eies, som. pl which are werthiess and daugero.u, but these are easily distinguished[ from the edible traie. Trufles are raised in England, Italy aud France, but the French truffle is by far the ' st. Professor Swingle procured hi . truffles from the choice of the aarkets, and if the department suncees in introducing them into this cOdItry they will be of the 'best anality- . few years ago good tuf-1es ere rar they C autumi oak, beech ani . quires~ a peculiar soil, earth. Professor Harkness, oi Academy of Sciences, believes that the forests of California and the Caro linas can produce the finest kinds of truffes. There are species of truffes now found in California, but they are hardly at to eat, and in order to in trodlueo the industry into this coun try it will be necessary to plant the imported tubers, and experimeut with them on different kind of trees. It is thought that there are plenty of trees in the forests of this country that will produce good tranies, and if they are once successfully grown it will afford a large source of income to agriculturists. for a-s their various uses become better known the de mand will increase accordingly. In France the best truffes are sold for as much as s i pound. Inferior truffes can be be bought from $1 up; and the wholesale price varies from~ sixty cents to $2 a pound. The French truafle is globular- in shape, and in colde a bright brown or- black with polygonal warts cover iug it. The mature flesh is bl1ackish I ry abied with white veli::. The *.rdoo is very pleasaut, especially Iw~hen the tuibers are younig,.and theu someaewhat resenI'ies that of a straw berry. With age the odotr gets v~ery strong. bra! is never *:;tensive. There ir. anrother trutik found iu France. whchc s:uetimelP- grows in cultivatd Lelds where the~re are willows. oaks aud1 po-irs I is kuowu as the falis I tuth, anid is s'.me ties- fi ia the surface .f the grund. Jt is g atheredl quife extenively2 - iniF~ pirj: Forest by .taliansl au-dJ~ Ieuchbien and so'ld t' the: interior r-e;a.;raute' of Linda n whr Conti-ent-al dishbes :yei servyed. It is. a rthless :ensiv.. ad. P''-e eat th umes. raw. raw.- s-l ie.1 dii~~rd ii .-,i er ..:'r. is the re gene~ral ey-. ar. iti.a inradpr teat' i.ud ur ii ue n Euaih r are l.'u- -* *''v o. preparingz te ttm by- eit,. ac~ aI! ane:-d to be apen. nug a dee un Whezl the trm sesi ra the l'. tj4aste to isr iuy th der~ .where. th at~;o witho::uct -ting the. eahis deacted, ans efruentand dog ill p srfon occasionally, anad it is, therefore, usual to give +.he trained pig or dog a small piece o! cheese or some like rewaru] each time- it is successful in findin: one. Truffles are reproduced by spores. S bodies which serve -he same purpose as seeds in flowering-plants. In true trufaes the spores are borne in trans parent eacs, from four to eight spores in each. These sacs are imbedled in vast numbers-in tLe flesh of the truf fie. In false truflie3 the spores are free, and borne on minute spicules: or supports. WISE WORDS. No one has a right to frown.-Se lected. Fame is the perfume of heroic deeds. There is nothing more daring than ignorance. A generous action is its osn re ward.--Walsh. Hunger and cold may be borne. but injustice never. It is hard to Sght with p-ation; for C( it bars with life. A happy bridemaid mak.es a happy i b.ride. --Teuuyson. A moment of time may make us uu happy forever.- ay.c A good heart is beitr thau all the eads in the world.-Bulwer Lytton. A good biookT is the best of fricuds, p ihe same to-day and forever.-3lartiu Tupper. The ag!,,; of persccution iucludes everything this side of eteruity. S -cratets Smith. Siympatlhy. a cheap co.mmodiity C which is sometimes hard to get.-The Devil's Dictionary. I a litile knowledsge i.s daugeroas, where is the mau who has so mnetoh as q If" out of danger? Ir to east awaav irtuOus frieud. a I al! as had . to cf.st away oUe *:'Wn ie.. which owe l.fves best. A great pu.ie!. like a great peak. musU: mmes eallowxed to have -is liea iii the clouds.- Augstine BirrelL. A. goo:l caUSe needS '1t to be w fp tr mned by passious: it can-sustaip it 4elf -a a temperate dAte.'-ir V. Brown-e-. All politeness is owing to liberty We polish 6ue anollier and rab off >r corners and rough sides by a sort M :> amnicable eollision. . To restrain 3M :his is inevitably to b'ring a rusi upou Luen's uuderstandings: "Get It . y Ia 1875, whe Profesiolexander fe Graham Belt-was ii8.Masif ealled on Przofessor Joseph "I mechanical 1 rendered the plan imprac present time. I added that I e I had nol the electrical knowledgea necessary to overcome the difficulties.c His laconic answer was: "I cannot tell you how munch those two words encouraged me. 'I live too y much in an atmosphere of discourage ment for scientific pursuits. Sneh a chimerical idea as telegraphing vocal sounds would, indeed, to most minds I seem scarcely feasible enough to spend time in worhing over, I be- 9 liee, however, that it is feasible, and I have got the cue to the solution." I -Electrical Review. Stealing a Victory With Du-y Guns Au illustration of the "audacious impudence" of our privateeremen is had in the case of the Paul -Jones, of New York. This vessel put to sea at" the outbreak cof the War of 181:s with a complement of 120 men, but with only three guns. Almost her first priie was the hear ily armed British merchautman Has' san. carrying fonirteen guns, but with oly twenti men, though her cargo :a worth somec S200.000.O The Panti Joes. fhbugh carrying only three guns, "-S pier-:e.l for seveUt.eeu. It v is said that the conmmander of the t'aul Jo:,e3 sawed elf some spa.rei masts to the leugth of guns. painted them lac1k. aud. ~eing mio'uted on a bumckets. rolled themt out of bis emt t ports nr. efredive Unitatiousm. of heav~y with his sup'erflu..us for ce of men. so i far overawed th., enemy that they sur redered as sooin ats the' privat-er, with hetr I namy gnu, -! faitrlyI alous ute. Th e Americans thou helpedm them sves t. SUChI of the Hotsau'- gur rid as~unmntion :a c the ieedod and] went .1 thei: wvay rejoicia2. &-I uay Evning Fst.L I heard niut ag'othat th h.attest shpin the fleet. aronnua C'Ta was~ the s. Pauil.--uct her upper wei ks. but dow 1i tiae hold. But sue was n-.t. sl a.'ker be the Ciucinnati. in whoseJI hold temp~eiatures as high as 205 de-I res were registeredl. In one . t thce tieroms was located a forced draft 11 blwer: to which it wa impo~ssil to give proper atiention~ onacont of tie iutense heaV. When Captain . Cheter went below to investigate hej had his face scorched. Water boils at 212 de~rees..-ew York Pres. 1 E MERRY SIDE OF IM. TORIES TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. erfect Happiness-Adjectives That ]lise ter-The Hforselees Age-Picturesque and Cutting-Lessons in Finance-A Ple2 For Consideration, Etc., Etc. He never loved and lost. He never sighed in vain To stand on heights that only those The gods love may attain. Ie envied not the rich. A Nor coveted their gold; ' Tils bottlelay beside him-he Was only two weeks old. -Chicago Times-Herald. Adjectives That Blister. Lovely Girl-"She has a lathlike gure." "Yes, and a plaster complexion." hicago Record. Picturesque and Cutting. "And now," said the artist, "if I >uld but picture her beautiful voice." "Wouldn't a half-tone do?" asked is intimate friend. - Cleveland eader. Like Current Poetry. "That dog of mine is a poetical ir. When he howls at the moon it uu'ds as if he were makingrhymes." "Doggerel, I suppose.'-:Cleveland lain Dealer. Lessons in Finance. "What is conscience money, pa?" "Conscience money? It is the fifty ts your mother lea-es in my pocket hen she cleans out all the rest."' hicago Icord. The Borseless Age. "Money makes the mare go," he oted. "fHow dreadfully out, of date you e," returned the other. "Theseare LO days of automebiies." A l'ca For Consideration. "Do you hjow that you talk in sur sleep, ieuryv?" asked Mrs. cc 1%. "Well, do you begrudge me those w words also?" he snapped back. 1iIs Weakness. "W'abbie's greatest fault seems to be his lack of decision." "Yes; he wouldu'l know his own ind if he was to meet it in the iddle of the highroad in broad day ght."-Puek._ __ A Lucratire Profession. Visitor (in prison)-" -1P >u found the busines itin vei rofitable?" ould seuu orwarded the is brother: "I am saved. Try to br r'ife. "-Youth's Companio'~ ~ Wherein 11 :'s Clever. 13i-"Don't ycr think that man )aubs is a clever r :tist?" Jill-"He's the orst that ver hap. ened." Bil-"Oh, yes: I know he can't 'aint any." Jill-"And yet you ce'l him clever?" Bill-"Why, yes; ho sells some of is pictures ."-Yonkers Statesmen. 1Her Main Thought. "Ehi, Philbrick, jast beard from our wife?" "Well, what are you looking so sour bout? Is she coming home?" "No'. It'e the waly she ends her tter. Listeu: 'From your loving rife. dear. and don't forget to wash he dog: '---Cleveland Plain Dealer. A Stare to iluty. Eployr-"Why didn't you come rhen I ranc?' O~ice Boy--"Because I didn't hear Lie bel." Eployr.-"Hereafter, when yo .on't hear the bell, you must come and ell me so." Oieie IBoy-- " Yes, sir," was the utiul answer.--New Orleaus Pica ny I.cooing Yor Y ou. ".ii, said one of two young rom beyond the sub~urbs, who alking their first ride ou a aner and had] been watching ' test the seeiaw miotion of t 'ain-eam. "the' n~ext time s ucmes down greb, held . and top it.' "What for?" aske- .i. T~ plague th ngineer."-Chies' Tribune. - rlo'- She Knew. "know that red-headed, r seed, ig-nosedl Mr. Brow -ouY? asked the girl iin blu "Of course," answer 'ink. "What of hi "Mabel Wilson "How do you "No; she Venin el