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TRI WEEKLY EDITION WINNSBORO, S.C., OCTOBER 3,1899T ooooco-ooooooooooooob 2olving the problemi of Life3 8-0 An Episode in the Career of a Young Man That Probably Has Had Its o Counterpart in Other .Ives. 80g0000000Q0000000000 T-RANGE as it may SSem, Wick ens tells it as a joke. Bat his version quite misses the moral, and the moral is all there is in it to recom mend the incident to the notice of a pious public If , x~" -Von fill out Wick Scus's account with the observations of more disinterested spectators and the brokeu story which the hero tells, and consider it then. in the mass and sympathetically," remembering your own youth, you will have a story that is not to be laughed at. It happej-e-d oklyn and it be gan on that evening whItrA;Zldwin's landlady and his roommate, Wickens, agreed in consultation that something was amiss with Baldwin. He main tained an irritable silence. He re fused this food. He slammed tho doors. He answered "No" wherever the monosyllable could be made to serve him. Yet these symptoms are common to so many mental maladies that it was impossible to diagonise the case to a prescription. It would be necessary to know that while he sat with Wickens, after supper, in their common room, staring at the tlowerci paper on the wall, his body rested lazily in tie ample embrace of a fat armchair, bat his thought was flitting through the eternity of years that are yet to be added to the age of the old g'ray-beard earth. and the eye of his imagination beheld time's toy, the world, spinning with all futility in the round to which the powers have condemned it everlastingly. He saw himself as an infinitely small life among the myriads that swarm on the round sides of the globe, and that globe as a flying speck of star dust in a million of such motes. - He was un happy, consequently, and resentful. He plucked a match from his pocket and bit at the soft wood. It reminded him of his pipe. Bat the cold tip of the amber, striking hard on his teeth after the soft fibre of the match, star tled and displeased him. He threw down the briar with a noiev net - V-Wicens Iook ed over his newspa per. "What's the matter 'with you, anyway?" he said. "You're in a deuce ~of a stew to-night." Baldwin answered sullenly. "What do you think?"He was fingering a but *ton on his coat. The smooth bone of it slipped in his perspiring fingers, and he wiped his hands upon his trouser legs. It was a cool night, and Wickens saw the action with alarm. "What's the use of going on like this?" he protested. "What's the use? What's the use of anything?" Baldwin blurted out. "What's the use of slaving in an of fice? What'll it all amonnt to in a thousand ye, ars from now?" in.But the arm about his Sas if some one had Bald win glared at hioa. "You think that's clever," he said. "I wish you felt the way I do." He rolled rest lessly in his chair. "I don't want to work," he whined. "I don't want to do anything." "Well, I'm sure I don't know what a do for you," Wickens pleaded. . Baldwin turned to the open win "It' t ry a wa.k downtown," the other added. He was sulkily silent. '"Come on," Wickens said, putting down is 1naner. "Your liver's out of crder. A walk will do you good. It's a cool night and the moon's out." -. He took his chum by the arm. Bald win shook off the friendly hand with a childish irritability. "All right," he sai-l. "l'm coming," and rose to folilor, SAs Wickens had remarked, the moon was out. "T'here," said Baldwin, when he saw it staring down at him, 'how many busy fools do you suppose that old skull has leered out?" "Oh, change the subject,' Wickens said. "E verybody has the same tron ble at your age. it-s like the measles," "Doesn't help me any." "Hold up your head," he ordered. "Ptyour shoulders back and step out. I never had an attack of the blues yet that I couldn't walk away from. They tramped noisily down the street. The brisk exertion pumped 2 blood through Baldwin's veins. .ry the time he had walked two blocks in sileure the cheerful movement had begun to drive his bad moodifrom him; and he groped stubbornly about in his mi:Pd tc hold it. .lhen they neared the busier thor oughifares they crossed a regiment of the Salvation Army on its way to bat. tie with the legions of darkness. Wickens hecard the bass drum with a smile. "Lucky clogs," Baldwin said. "They think they know what it's all about." Wickens lost his patience. "Oh? (on't be an ass,-- he said. "Who are you, an'-way, that all creation has to iv~e you its ason for existing?" T~1win sulked again. In a ma-: T "L.!- at that9" he brnke nMt I waving his hand to the row of lighted shopsk "Slaving and sleeping as if they knew what for! Where are the peope that kept shop in old Rome:' "Dead. mest likely." "'Yes, and what did they live for?" "For the fun there was in ib I t guess. "Clever, yoi are." Baldwin was choking with a speechless contempt. Wickens saw the quarrel to which they were drifting. "Well," he said; ('you may fluish this walk alone," and stopped before a book shop win dow to look over the array C1 vol umes. Baldwin stalked down the street, nuring his mood. Wickens was a fool at any rate-always had been. All men were idiots, or they would not go gambplling around in this slaughter house as if the butcher were not waiting for them with the inevita ble knife. He, Charles McTaggirt Baldwin, was going to be a sheep no longer. He was going to-to do something or other, It did not mat ter what. He turned down a side street and attempted a short cut across the road way. He heard a feeble shriek behind him. Something struck him stiffly in the side. An arm clutched about his neck and before he could put out his hand the asphalt pavement reached up and struck him a sledge-hammer blow on the forehead3. There was an explosion in his brain like the sudden flame of a flashlight. Then all the instinct of the animal roused him to .e f-preservation. Drawing his legs p iler-iai he arched his back, slipped the enemy s~ hold 'er- dis head and crooked his arm up to ward off a nossible blow. The foe lay limp on the road beside him. Hehad been run down by a young lady on a bi cycle. "Oh," he said, recovering himself at once, "I beg your pardon." He had sprung to his feet. "Are you hurt?" and was trying to disentangle her from the machine. She drew her feet up helplessly in to her skirts. He was plucking those, with hurried clumsiness, from the teeth of the gearing. "I didn't see you coming," he apologized as he raised her. "I hope you're not hurt." She pressed her hand, panting, against her side. "No-o," she gasped. "ouly frightened." But when he released her she tot tered as if to fall, and he was com pelled to retain his hold upon her arm, embarrassed and speechless. "It was so stupid of me," she fal tered, limping to the curbstone. "I thought I could get by you, Mr. Bald win." He peered down at her in the dark ness. "Why," he smiled, "I didn't know you." She laughed somewhat hysterically. "I saw you comingtlarough the light. She freed herself from -his arm. Baldwin returned to midroad for the bicycle and his hat. When he came back he found her sitting on the curb. "You are hurt," he said anxiously. "My ankle," she replied. "I have sprained it, I think." He hesitated a moment. "Take my arm," he said, "and try if you can walk." By leaning heavily on him she suc ceeded in limping along. He wheeled the bicycle with his other hand, still a bit emibarrassed. But she laughed and chatted. It bad been so stupid of her! It was a wonder she hadn't killed him. What had he thought it was that struck him? eighty per cent. of some bands i-an-| ished under the conditions of short grass and deep snow. The cattle and sheep, on the other hand, are round he lower valleys during the leape up in~er. I he said, "I took you for a tootpa. - The remembrance of it stirred her to nervous merriment. Her laugh was not unpleasant. She choked prettily at his whimsical description of his preparations for defence, and that description became so convul sively amusing for a moment that they stood together on a corner shak ing with laughter. They wont on more soberly when the fis had passed, but the barriers were down between them and conversation was as easy as that of old frien is. The distance from the scene of the collision to her home was not great. Baldwin rang the door bell and assisted in allaying the anxiety of the family. They laughed at last, at a joint description of the accident as given by the heroine and the hero of it. When she had been assisted to her room by a younger sister, Baldwin remained to exchange small talk and drink cool drinks below stairs. Be fore he left he had been brushed clean of .the roadway dust by "brother Tom,'' thanked by her mother for his kindness to a daughter of the house and invited by the smil ing family to call again. Accordingly he did that, on the evening following, to see how the sprained ankle was progressing. The young woman herself received him. He found her very pale and pretty, amiable and altogether interesting. He had called, on, an average, three times since in every week, and he has bought a bicycle. During the first stages ot their friendship he worked diligentry for an increase in his salary to allow of the purchase of more theatre tickets. Lately he has had dreams of a honey-< moon, and is kept worried in his leisure moments by impatient calcula tion 'f the time which must elapse before his salary will suffice for two. But he is not troubling himself for an answer to the Sphinx's riddle of ex istence. Neither is he concerned for solution of any of the greater prob lems f this life. The powers have reconciled him'to the prison bars with ' I )00)1 Of RANGE IIORSIES HE VAST HERDS OF THE NORTH WEST DISAPPEARING RAPILY; .attlecen and Sheepmen Are Driving Them From the Pasturage and Water Exposurc is Killing Thewi and Fac torles Are Canning Them. Gradually but surely the great herds >f range horses on the interioi plateaus >f Washington, Idaho and Montana re being driven to the wall. Several 'anses are working to depopulate the >unch giass ranges of the vast herds hat have roamed there for centuries. Briefly stated, the chief causes are the ucreased demand for irrigable lands >y settlers and the purchase or lease, ollowed by fencing, of great areas of range landIs by cattlemen and sheep zen. The latter are fencing in the ;prings, creeks and ponds that form he water sources so vital to range in :lustry. These facts denote a new era in the development of Westera sheep mnd cattle raising, increasing produc tion, and putting the industry on a solid basis. It ends the indiscrinate pasturage of cattle, sheep and horses ver immense areas of the Northwest ern States. It means the confining of the cattle and sheep to lands that can be acquired, fenced and made more productive, and it means also the gradual extinction of the horses. The horses, or at least their owners, knov. that their hour of doom has struck, declares the New York Sun. Already they are being moved off the ranges by tens of thousands. Those left-,are f-orced to eke out a precarious xisience on theuty pa6tarrlands left )y the cattle and sheep herders, ilfezw hey may die of thirst in the summer >r starve to death in the winter, with o one to mourn their end. Daring the last two years at least 5,000 head of range horses have been removed from the ranges of Eastern Washington alone. Their disposition as been approximately as follows. Zbivoed to Chicago and other Eastern rintirets................. :.10,000 sen: to Alaska during the Klonkike rr-sh. ...... ............. .,000 'uned into borsemeat at Linton, Oregon. for shipment to France.... ?.000 Driven to Idaho, .ontana, Wyoming, Colorado and Utah, largely for pack and saddle horses......... ........10.000 rokeu for use by new settlers In Washington..................10.000 Died during the last two winters.... 8,000 Los3 from State in two years.......65,000 This loss has been double the atural increase, reducing the num er of wild horses in the State from ,ibout 125,000 to 80,000 or 90,000. At this rate of decrease they would last ror many years, but the fact is that the horses are being confined to a smaller area each successive year, thereby increasing the chances of de struction. The figures given are based on es timates furnished by E. F. Benson, who has charge of leasing the rart men are now leasing, buying and fencing lands so rapidly that the range horses already find it difficult to obtain water. The attempt of large numbers to feed on the scanty range left to them must leave them thin in the fall, and it will need only one hard winter, with deep snow and cold weather, to kill them off by thou sands. Their usual method of winter feeding is to paw through the snow for the tufts of rich bunch grass which furnish their sustenance, but under the present conditions these tufts will be eaten off by the hungry herds before the snow flies. At least 5000 horses died of starvation last winter in the districts north and south pressed and dried in a stove. Bohemia an average yearly pr of 885 tons, which comes prin from three mines--the two mentio above and that of Krummau, which produces an inferior grade of the sub aiance. These mines afford employ-. *all and fed terrnag4:as..and the bet Mr. Benson reports that t'i orses are now confined almost en :irely to the thinly populated counties f Douglas, Lincoln, Adams and 'ranklin and parts of Yakima and lickitat. These animals are worth rom $3 to $20, according to size and uality. A large proportion of them are cayuses, others are strong, large boned horses. In June 5000 head of Douglas Dounty horses were sold for shipment ast at $2.50, $3 and $6 a head, ac ording to size. The horse canning actory at Linton, Oregon, has con erted about 9000 head into meat for shipment to France and Germany in the last two years. A still larger aumber will be canned in the near fu ture, for the industrial department of the Northern Pacific Railway has aid d in the establishment of another orse canning factory at Mledora, iorth Dakota. A home market for any thousand head has been occa uioned by the boom in the wheat in austry connsequent upon the good rops and the good prices of the past wo years. Thousands of wild horses, veighing 1100 pounds and upward, 2ave been broken to the plow by both yid and new settlers. The indications ire that this lceal absorption will con ;inue in a limited way for several ears in Eastern Washington and Edaho. While the cattle and sheep men have n effect combined -'gainst their come non enemy, the~ range horses, it is nou es triue that cattlemen look askance it the s'teadily increasing numbers~ of heep pastured in the open range ~ountry. While the natural increase f the bands of sheep is rapid, tens of housands more have been moved to he Northwest from California on ac ount of fierce drought. The sheep )ecome profitable from the first year, ince the two principal crops, lambsa Lnd wool, coming in May and June,. Lre salable within the fiscal year. i-hile the herds of cattle must be naintained three or four years before roitable returns are possible. It is me to thi fact that the catl men be - gad purchasing and fetkng the range lands several gears ago; and thi sheep men; as i matter of self-pro tec tion, have followed suit; The need of the sheep men for wider pasturage has caused the industry and its oustom or occupying the open ranges to be offi cially recognized by the United States Government in its measures for policing and protecting the great for estry reserves iecently bet apart B Washington and Oregon, The Gov ermenet's primary object is to prevent forest fires, which greatly injure the watershed. On condition that they use the utmost precaution to prevent fires the sheep men are permitted to drive their bands into the rich pasture lands on the mountain slopes of these reserves. The forest supervisors have divided the reserves into districts for the various bands, the limits being marked by streams. ridges and other natural bouidarieg; SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL$ The croli e vz--t11e air continues un til condensation of the watery vapor begins. Watery vapor is always pres ent in greater or less quantities. The temperature at which this condensa tion takes place is the dew point, and if this occurs at thirty-two degrees Fahrenheit or below, frost is formed. Eleven different fats in emulsions have beeni tested to determine whether they would allay cough and increase weight. The effects with cod-liver oil proved to be variable. The best re salts were given by beef fat, olive, peanut and cocoanut oil. and the ex perimenter has concluded that a mix tur of these four fats, with the ad Jligtn of a little clover oil, is much supe1r cod-liver oil, Many people regard gold as o. ne color; this is a mistake, as puro goi d varies considerably in hue. An ex - pert can tell the locality from whence. it was derived by ite color. Australian gold is is very much redder than C fornian, Nugget qold (Klondik instance) is yellow, whereas t' quartz is of a deeper "gold The reddest gold comes fro Mountains. Of course'fe purs gold, for the metal and even our coins are tire metal is much too s alone. and requires an it withstand rough weat In Enghish*p otteries per cent. of the male 12.4 of the females suffe soning. After investigation, sors Thorpe and Oliver rec that the use of raw lead in gi colors be prohibited, and th persons and women be exc work in certain operation ments of the last few shown that satisfactory-le are now within reach of t turer. In some bianche. terin.sfrv hon e. risk of poisoning could b duced by using the lead i a fritted double silicate. factories, in which it is i introduce favorable sanit tions, should be closed. Bohemia now furnishes th amount of graphite for E It is found in its purest the gneiss accompanied limestone near Schwnr gan. That portion oft ficiently pure is shippe mined, but the inferio ground iu mills where water takes up the powd and deposits it in sheets ment to 72. pL qualities of the graphite are a in active demand. - spanish Indiftf.ence. Nothing, indeed, is so striking to the traveler as the perfect serenity of Madrid, says a writer in Blackwood's, and it is a serenity not of carelessness but of resignation. The Spaniard, being a brave man, regrets that he has been beaten; but, being also a creature of confirmed habit, he convinces himn self that regret is notiworth express ing. So once more the pertinacity of the Spanish character is exempli fed. .The great kings who in the past ruled the peninsula suffered many and grievous defeats, and it was their constant practice to put away from their minds the unnalatable truth. Two years ago the average Spaniard was secure in the' knowledge that Cuba would be his until the end of time; to-day he knows that Cuba be longs to him no more. But he does not declare his knowledge; he bears it with what patience he may, and turns to celebrate the distinctions of the past. Nor can the unprejudiced traveler traverse Spain without a side glance at the neighboring re public. The French and the Spaniaras are both popularly believed to carry Latin blood in their veins, and though many a conquest has mixed the race of each, they still stand to one another in the relatiou of distant cousins. Unuable to Rteturn the Comnplitnent. A Yorkshire farmer was asked to the funeral of a neighbcr's third wife, and as he had attended the funerals of the two others, his own wife was rather surprised when he declined this invitation. On being pressed, he gave his reason with some hesitation: "Well, thee sees, las. it makes a chap feel a bit awkward like to be allus accepting other folks' civilities, .:hen he never has nowt o' t' sooart of his awn to, ax 'em back to.",-'Sew TAE OF PLII~ AND ADVENTURES The Palnter'6 Fall. James Browi and Harry Lee were the closest of friends. These young men were painters by trade and un married. James Brown, however, was the only support of his invalid mother; the fact being well known to Harry. Only a few evenings before the op portunity for showing his loyalty to this friendship came to him, Harry had spent several restful hours in the home of his friend. and had marked the devotion of mother to son and of son to mother, and the impression made on him of iwhat he saw had rested deeply. ofi his mind, lone man as he was in the world, and sdfved to intensify his affectiofi for his friend, They were engaged working -to gether these days in doing some w6rli of decoration upon one of the high buildings of New York City, and fox some reason Harry had occasion tc descend to the ground, and then no ticed for the first time how insecure was James's position. While calling James's attention to this, he wat horrified to see him slip from his footing. As quickly as thought can *ori (and what device of man can ieasure that?) Harry thought of the invalid mother, and, knowing the surely fatal consequences of this fall from the fiftl story unless the fall could be broker before reaching the pavement, stepped in an instant directly under the spoi where James would drop, and bracei himself to meet the torrible weight o James's falling body, not espectinj to eave his own life nor counting i e succeeded almost miraculotisi s purpose of rescue. When thesi were brought into the Flowe: tal in New York, it was dis d that Harry had not receive< jury, aud James, for whom h sked his life, was sufferin, rom the breaking of both hi ud the bones of one antle. who was the first of the tw e well enough to report fo d pleasure in caring for th ther of his friend as thougi r son. The doctors of th o alone were aware of th the rescue, report an es titude upon the face c sion of every visi hospital durin o wa on fire. To e death or maiming, for it was r~i~ along at full speed. People had crowded into the smok er. Doubtless Sieg heard their mut terings. It required only a few min utes for him to realize the situation He sprang through the smoking-ca: door, and a moment later had disap peared amid the flames beyond. Presently it was felt that the train' speed was slacking, and soon, with: urch and a bump, it came to a ful stop near the bridge over the Hacken sack. The passengers rushed out. Witi the sudden -stoppage of the drafi caused by the rush of the train, thi flames from the cab rose straight int< the uir. The head and shoulders of man were seen protruding from th< water-tank on the tender. It wa: Sieg, his face disfigured, his hand: burned, his body blistered. He was taken to a hospital, but his burns proved fatal. In retreating before that first fierce burst of flame Sieg had been gailty oJ a grave error; but who will say tha he failed to retrie ye it like a hero? -.Tobogganing With an Elephant. An English sportsman, "out afte1 elephants," had wounded a magnifi cent specimen. Unfortunately for him the wound was slight, and the animal greatly infuriated, turned and charget It was a terrifying sight. With its enormous ears spread out like sails. and emitting shrill notes of rage, the monster came thundering over the ground like a runaway locomotive. The hunter fired another shot, bu missed; his nerve was shaken, au~ throwing down his rifle, he sought safety in flight. Near at hand was a steep hill, anP to this he directed his steps, for beinig but slightly acquairnted with the climi, ing powers of the elephant. he though his pursuer might be batiled by ths steepness of the ascent. It 'was a tero rible disappointment to find that thu elephant could climb a hill as quick ly as he could, good runner as he wag. He would have been overtaken if he had not thought of a really ingenious expedient. He knew that elephants herer run, or even walk, down a steep incline, but always crouch, gather their feet together, lean well back and slide down. Just as the ferocious an imal had got within a few yards of him, therefore, the wily hunter sud denly doubled and tan down the hill again! Quick as a flash the elephant turned, gathered itself together, and trumpet ing with baffed rage, slid down after its victim. The hunter had just time to spring out of the way as the great beast came tobogganing after himn smashing trees and shrubs, and carry ing everything before it like an ava lanch. Then once more the hunter dashed to the top of the hill, while the ele phant, unable to stop itself, went ca reeting down to the very foot, where, apparently understanding that it had been outwitted, and feeling Eore and disappointed, it rose to its fall height and walked wearily back to its native woods. Girl Chokes a Lynx to Death. George J. Manassa, of Kansas City, who has-been spending the past two months at Kingman, Arizona, tells an interesting story of a case of heroism in a young girl that came under his observation. He said that one day while there a ranchman, y. A. Carrow, brought into town for medical treat ment his son Murray, six years old, and his daughter, seventeen years . old. The girl's arm was frightfully lacerated by the teeth and claws of some animal, and the same rough usage showed upon the boy in wounds upon the arm, hands and the breast and shoulders. Upon inquiry he learned that Mr. Carrow was a wealthy ranci dwner living about twenty-five miles north of the place. and that the I two children had been lacerated by a lynx that had attacked the boy, and had been strangled to.death by the girl. "The boy." Mr. Manassa said, "was playing in a swing in an almond orchard near the house, when a fero cious lynx sprang upon him and I pulled him to the ground. A life and death strnggle then took place be tween the little fellow and the animal. Taking the lynx by the ear and one - leg, he succeeded in throwing it to f the ground and holding it there, screaming for help. The lynx was biting his hand in a horrible manner, but with Spartan courage he held ou until his -ister came. The animal d gotten the better of the boy, the girl, with only her naked par " the place, Shan y in-law, Kyaw-Ya, both known as it trepid huntsmen, set out for the spot where the partly eaten calf was still ly ing, armed with no other weapon than an old gu.- They erected a small platform on the top of which they awaited the animal. Soon after the tiger made his appearance, and, not seeing the hunters, was about to par take of a hearty dinner when Shan Gyi fired and bowled him over. The brute, however, got up again and re tired slowly. The two hunters fol lowed quickly, and when near Shan Gyi pulled the trigger, but the gun missed fire. He quickly pnt in an other cartridge, but before he had time to fire the beast was upon him and knocked him down. Kyaw Ya, though unarmed, sprang upon the animal, which turned upon him and mauled him. Kyaw Ya managed to seized the animal by the tongue and held on iirmly. Shan Gyi, thus re leased, although severely wounded in several places, tried to cut the tiger's throat with'a small knife he had, b~ut failed. He then clubbed the animal with his gun, but the weapon was soon smashed. Tt is impossible to say how the contest would have end ed had not some men who had heard the report of the gun come on the scene and despatched the tiger. The two bra(ve buuters were then taken to the Myanugmya Hospital, where they now are in a rather bad state. Their lives, however, are not despaired of. Whtat They Are Used For. "What are the holes for?'' asked little Edna, looking at the porous plaster that her mother was preparing to adjust en Willie's back. "It's funny you don't know that, is." interposed Willie. "They're to TE Xii I &DVJI' I.ui STORIES TOLD BY THE FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. A Fruitful I1scusslon-Afte the Datb of Course He Thinks So-A Ee0soa Ir Existence-A Faternal Warning-Noe a Hand-Me-Down-so Soon! Etc., Eta. "Oh, fickle, inconsistent man!" The blushiug maid did cry; "One day you call me 'peach,' the nexts The apple of your eye. $,Well, anyhow," the swain replied, With manner debonair, "Togez:her none may claim that we Are not a pretty pear." -Harper's Bazar. A Paternal Warning. "Does her father encourage you?" "I don't think so. Be's just had electric lights put on their piazza." Chicago Record. A Reason For Existence. "Do you think the automobile will exterminate the horse?" "Hardly; we've got to have horse hair furniture, you know." Of Course He Thinks So. "He thinks he nnderstands wom en." "How do you know?" "He's a bachelor. "-Brooklyn Daily Eagle. Threatened tW --ort. Williams-"understandyoumoved your family last week." Jackson-"Yes; our servant girl didn't like the location we were n Ohio State Journal. After the Battle. "He was the picture of woe after his wife got through discip "Yes?" "Yes, a sort of a th mb-nail sk youa might say."-De oit Journa Seeking Info stion. Johnny-"Aren't -o my fathe mother-in-law?" Irs. Smith-"I am Johnny -"'And the aren't you grandmother-in-law?" -Harper's B zar. A Gentle Re uest. He-"Great Scott! for makinga racket this child is a regular fort in action." She (sweetly)-".ould you mind holding the fort for a little while# George?" Not a Hand-HO-Down. Grubbs-'Perkins seems to be s self-made man." Stubbs-"Well, if you ever saw him when his wife was around you would think he was made to order. "--Ohio State Journal. In Wheat. Ethel-"He told nie he made hiv money in wheat." (ump- felt out as a profession Pilson-"Professiona .' Dilson-"Yes, you know I am con nected with the weather bureau." Ohio State Journal. 2: Telling His Experience. They were discussing the question as to whether a woman can keep a secret. Little yohnny had not appeared to be listening; but he suddenly added his contribution to the stock of general intelligence by exclaiming: "Wen;-f know ma can't keep a secret. Every thing I do she goes and tells it to pa almost the first minute he gets into the house. "-Boston Transcript. E - So soon! "When I grow up," said Ethel, with a dreamy, imaginative look, 'Tm - - going to be a schooi teacher." "Well, I'm going to be a mamma and have six children," said Edna.. "Well, when they come to school to me I'm going to whip 'em, whip 'em, whip 'em." "You meanthing!" cxclaimed Edna, is the tears came into her eyes. "What have my poor children ever done to you ?"-London Tit-Bits. Wifely Strategy. .Johnson-"My wife fooled me the other night by asking me to stop the lock when 1 came in, as it disturbed her rest, and tho next morning there was the hour of my home-coming staring me in the face." Jackson-"My wife asked me to tart ours wh'en I came in, and the next morning she figured out the dif ference in time between it andhe watch in such a way as to provem liar by nearly three hours. "-Je Weekly.