The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, December 22, 1898, Image 1
1 - - -
T RI-WEEKLY EDITIO,2 WIN'NS8BORO, S.C. DECEMBER 22.1898%SALSHD14
The midnight is passed,
An d the Christmas is here;
0 solemn bells, ring
Through the night hushed
and clear;
As angelio hosts bronght the
tidings of old,
Let nowthegladnewsby thy
de.p tonguesbetold
0 joy to the word,
Forget sorrow and fearl
The midnight is passed,
And the Cbristmas here.
-ACXVS
CHRISTMAS
FAIRIES.A
Dy Edith Sess.1ons Tupper.
P to his ears n mis
chief all the time
was Jack, yet he
was the dearest,
roundest, r osie st
little lad imagin
able. He was a
picture of happy
boyhood that after.
noon, three days
before Christmas,
when, in his smart
e o a t, trimmedI in
the most delightful :
military fashion with bands of Persian
Iamb and black frogs, and his jaunty I
cap set on his fair hair, and his fit I
hands protected by far-trimmed gloves, i
he went into the park with his sled for
a romp. He ran and shouted and i
pranced until his eyes glowed like i
stars and his cheeks shone like apples, I
and everybody who saw him said: 1
"What a handsome boy!"
.lack, of course, was looking forward
to Christmas, just as every boy and I
girl who reads this is looking forward i
to that day of all days. He expected
to have all sorts of fine things in his I
stocking, and with very good reason, <
for Santa Clans had never neglected E
him. yack's father was rich. Grand- f
mamma, who was richer, was coming z
to spend the holidays, and Santa Claus I
bad been telephoned on the subject I
i hes, rfims, games, swords; guns C
d t~ sn lt was every I
it at Jack's
omebi Irv- 44' y full in
have1
ers or sisters, atrifleelfish. But
s a manly, kind-hearted little
for all that, and so, when hewas
gh with his play and was drag
r.'gg his sled homeward and came upon
a scene on a street-corner which roused
is sympathy he paused to find out
wat it meant.
A crowd of rough boys were tor
renting a poorly-clad IMite girl,
wTios wan, haggard face spoke too
-lainly of misery and poverty. She
was. frightened and almost crying as
Ja'k came up.
"Here, now!" said Jack, with
sturdy determnination, "you stop that
or I'll call a p'liceman."
Fortunately at that mom2ent a
blue-coated officer came in sight, and
the hoodlums fled with one wild de
parting yell.
"Thank you." said the little girl,
timidly, "-those boys allus are pickin'
on me."
"What is your name?" said Jack.
"Susie Greene."
"Well Susie," said Jaok, with an
sir. of 'bisiness, 'you look cold and
sick"'
"I an'b'ery strong"
"And 'hungry," continued Jack.
Susie-burst into tears.
That was enough for Jack.
"Get right on my sled," said he, de- I
te- sinedly, "and I'll take you down I
-- tonmy house and you'll have some
thin~g to eat."
Susie obeyed, and the officer saw t
with grim pleasure the young heir to g
- sari CrAUs wAs TEPEo3.D. l
Mr. Newton's millions dragging off the'.
little waif to his home, a block away.i
"Ho do be a foine chap, he do be,"
remarked Policeman Mulvaney,.
Jack took Susie into the kitche~n<
and gave orders she should . be fed
forthwith. Then he hurried up to his
mother's room. She was there with
his grandmother, and in a few words 1
he told them about .the little girl he I
haa rescued..
"She's poor and hungry, and she's
got no decent cW4' . Y norz can't<
HOW SANTA CLAUS GOE
TWENTY-F
His mother looked at him a moment,
then asked, quietly: "Jack, would you
rather have this little girl made com
fortable or have a big Christmas your
elf?"
Jack hesitated. He thought of all
fhose presents he was e:pecting; then
be thought of Susie thin dress and
bursting shoes.
"You can take the money you were
oing to spend on my Christmas and
Ex her up," he bravely said. Then
bis grandmamma, a stately old lady,
hn black satin and white lace cap,
salled him to her and kissed him, with
;ears in her eyes.
Jack sat bolt upright in bed and
-ubbed his eyes very hard. No, he
ras not asleep. There was the open
ire, there his clothes on the chair,
;here the door into his mother's
-oom.
It was Christmas Eve. Jack had
iot hung up his stocking, for he did
iot-expect any presents. Susie had
yeen 'warmly clothed and her
vretohed bome had been brightened
y the visit of Jack and his mother.
Che boy was satisfied. He had made
iis choice and expected to abide
y it.
But, marvellous to relate, as he
ooked towards the fire, he saw a
owd of tiny people hurrying
nd fussing about on the fur rug be
ore the fire. Three or four had a
iniature ader which they were
)tting up against the side of the fire
>lace. Several others had hold of one
f Jack's long stockings. When the
adder was in place, a little man, with
Ifish 'eyes and spider-like legs,
limbed the ladder, dragging Jack's
tooking after him, and V.ng it on a
E ET o T
oo an hecoig onpt i
ans "n i hips yn suvyei i
ror wih)rastifct.
"Tha's hat cal agoodjob" h
ai."o ur p o ok n
raok ad fthn broing wn, prugt hi
ase on nhis fthi wods.ee i
"IThat's whate Iall ay,"odheob,"d,
aid.kinow urr uhedgesol and s
eave yo pgaetsr thee nutsfore te
icwhoas ets alog." e.
The quairy aitter fairy imbed theou
adreng and p inhiprsnt.chee"
aset comf clear from the oodso
eIBlace workesd all Gerany,"h sid
eaves "to gather thse utso for th'e
icy who was kndo asiedo" oo
Ate qainto little firy." criu
beg gowairyca approached, wa"cp
ave blcm car from he borer of i
"Fromac thes n Gftersettn, she
ai,o bring thofeig muibo o th n'ae
oce who was n ood ahaedto."o
Aferpor little mair cime
The wasr hauite aupi a eaul-o
word fai aprhed.ad wasgh from.
etntdand adk. Tenathere ukl
owdsn blc th agd eole onfi
"Fromd wth landsu ofhc settn sun
>ruhav rome, tadhe." ma Isce.
'Shue, aIia' hurry but be wanted
o ing" oherid, "to the yuck per
lacbewhas ohar.
Aerr lite aingreen inbedf
>header, haliingn pf beltsu toy
wrdic dwn he hmneygh croed
gAd fos vry Jacry Taihe thereptly.
owdano the goas eopleangin
ereand withsentrum wih he hcabl
ndrrugh frown the Ehmer ad sle
o ain himef. "tyback efohie
Ineth midom oathis -e.iement
AROUND THE WORLD IN
OUR IIOURS.
"So they've .been here ahead of
me!" he observed. "That's a greai
idea! I never was left before. Well,
no matter I There are a few things
they've forgotten. Here are the
skates, the games, the box of cara
mels, the books," and as he talked he
piled the packages up on a table near
the fireplace.
Jack's eyes were so heavy he
couldn't hold them open. He shut
them for an im tant, and when he
opened them agiin it was Christmas
morning.
He sprang from his bed and rushed
to the fireplace. Yes, there hung his
stocking full and running over, and
ZACE PXBBED HIS IS.
the table near by was loaded with
gifts.
And, if you were to argue forever.
you could never make Jack bliee
tharDirere is no Santa CTaus or such
things as-fairies.
"I know better," he says, with a
decided shake of his curLy head. "I
know better, for I've seen them."
Christmas Fan.
Those mothers who wish their chil
dren's Christmas fun to. be fun pure
and simple, eschewing fashionable
dances and other unsuitable diver
sions, will find the following sugges
tions useful:
A tissue -paper candy bag, hung
from the chandelier, to be struck with
a light rod or switch by each child,
Iblinafolded, in turn, till the lucky one
breaks the bag and the candies may
be scrambled for, is sure to cause
jollity and laughter. This is an old
game, but a never-failing one. Forty
years ago it was described and pict
ured in juvenile books, yet, once good,
always good, is a true proverb.
Another mirth-provoking device is
a sawdust pie. Cover an ordinary
washtub with bright paper, having a
frill around the edge. Pat in a layer
of sawdust, then some trifling gifts,
another layer of sawdust, and so on.
Smooth the top into a. shallow cone
shape, to resemble a pie, lay over it a
brown paper cover, with darker spots
here avfl there, to imitate the scorch
ing of the crust, and fasten some lit
+l' ornament at the apex. which will
lift the cover off as by a handle. Have
a sheet spread underneath, provide
the children with wooden spoons, and
let them dig for "plums."
Of course the amusements indicated
are for the youngest members of the
flock. Older children may enjoy get
ting up a Brownie party, a Japanese
party, etc., in appropriate costumes.
Or they will greatly enter into the
spirit of making a number of poorer
children happy, by packing a large
basket or hamper with attractive little
parcels, which they have prepared
themselves, then passing them to the
shabby little guests. .The finest spir
its are those who do not lose sight of
the fact that Christmas is a time for
making others happy, not a season for
getting all one can and keeping all
one gets. _________
After Christma.
Mrs. Buffer-"That's a nice shoe
bag of yours. I had a present of one
like it--"
M1rs. Maffer-"Shoe-bag? That's a
photograph case. Mrs. Greey, who
gave it to me, told me so."
Mrs. Buffer-"Horrors! And I
thanked Mrs. Greely for a shoe-bagi
I've a mantel drapery like )fours,
too."
Mrs. Muffer-"Is that a mantel
drapery?"
Mrs. Buffer-"Certainly; Mrs.
Spriggs, who gave me mine, told me
IMrs. Mufer- "And I thanked Mrs.
Spriggs for some petticoat trimming!"
Both (in tears) -"Well, home-made
presen ts ought always to be labeled,
anyhow!
Below Zero (and the Belt).
Ten Broke (after the refusal)
I"How cold it is to-night. My hands
are chilled."
Gwendolen-"Well, I have made
you a Christmas present of thenuitten.
That ought to keep them warm"
Wrhe Yelow Bookr.
If I Were SantA Clans.
If I rere eai Santa Clausi
0 Arl SanIta Cians MIas me;
I'] sho w to him just what a good
O !::nta Claus I'd be.
I'd always bring the kind of toys
And stOry b00os for him;
IiId hiS stockitLg cvry year,
An;d Ml! it to t~ie bn.
This year P1 bring a book or so
- On ho e conqudd Spain,
Or how a boy pursced his foe
Aeros. the Kloudike plain.
'And bcxir.g gloves-and, say, I guess
A Distol u-cnidrI be great
To KMondike with. And then-oh, yes,
A wheel for ninety-e*ght.
I'd bri::g a leatiier sait. and hat
Tha kind that cowtbcys wear.
Of bowie knives and things like tiat
Ho'd bave a lot to spare.
I'd fill his stockiug then with all
The candy it would hold,
Ad where the packages were small
i'd fiI In round witL gold.
And when they saw htic good I was,
How happy folks wrnd be
If 1 tere only Santa Caus
And Santa Claus wa"cm. -
Er- Christmas Sta-:kings.
"She was the prettiest and blight
est. girl we hadl at our house party
that -winter," related the smnling old
lady who loves to dwell upon the holi
diay festivities when she was a-girl.
I "She was a great favorite with the
men because of her dashing ways and
the ir of good comradeship that she
always carried about with her. Yet we
could never see that any one of her
suitors was favored above anothec,
and often wondered if she would fill
the appointed destiny of woman.
"In the party was Harper Allison.
We always called him Harpy. He
was big, athletic, good-natured and
good to look at. but we never thought
of him as a brilliant man. It was as
plain as could be that-he was in love
with her, and men of his type- are so
persistent. They lay siege, -at.--ro
matter what may come, they continue
the siege.
"I know that he proposed-to her a
score of times, but he was always put
off with the laughing assurance that,
she was not to be won by any of the
stereotyped methods, and that if he
ever did find a lodging place in her
heart he would see a sign.
"Christmas Eve we all hung up our
stockings outside our doors, :Ust As a
lark, you know. In the morning we
all had presents to show but Haly.
He pretended to be disconsolate se
yond consolation. He had put out a
Great long pair ol woolen stockings,
knit in black yarn and tipped in red
by a fussy old aunt in Maine, who al
ways feared that Harpy never, dressed
warmly enough. He hadanct only
been slighted by Santa Clausbut the
stockings themselves were goue.
"After dinner there was 47sleighl
ride of.tho old-faqshione_&I..Z.s
the big sled, we all saw tlft over
her dainty shoes she wor' heavy
woolen stockings, and the es were
red. 'Now I know what I got,'
shouted Harpy, and before s all he
tossed her into the air, caught her as
she came down and kissed her in
definitely."
Yule-Log Sparks.
About $120,000,000 is spent on
Christmas gifts yearly'in this country.
The custom of making gifts is wid
est spread among the Germans.
Snaparago~i, a one-time favorite
game ait Christmas, is again coming
into favor.
Skating over thie frozen marshes was
a favorite holiday pastime among the
Knickerbockers.
Theo custom of giving the tarl-ey the
first place on the bill of fare at Christ
mas is gradually giving way to the old
English plan of providing a huge
round of beef.
A pretty conceit for trimming Christ
mas trees is a paper star with a can
dle in the center. They are made
after the manner of tha "pin wheel"
and commemorate the appearance of
the Star of Bethlehem.
To feed Greater New York on
Christmas Day it is estimated that it
will take among other things, 1700
head of cattle, 7000 tons of poultry,
1700 barrels of cranberries and three
carloads of celery.
The best bag to use for the Christ
mas pudding is made of thin un
bleached muslin. Be sure that it is
well scalded before the pudding goes
in. Keep a sapply of clean, strong,
white tape for pudding strings.
When the Ueart Grows Warm.
Santa Claus might reconnoiter in an
air ship.
It is time now to begin to remem
ber not to snell it "Xmas."
To get the right height and measure
of Christmas in the stocking feet is by
no means a bad plan.
The young people are not alarmed
at that anti-Santa Claus movement.
They are preparing to turn the hose
on it.
If the weather clerk will send a lit
tle snow for Christmas he will not be
required to put it in the hanging
stockings. It will be appreciated if it
is left outside.
Helping Santa.
There is nothing slow abbat ,Tohn
nie.-From Christmas Life.
WFR OMiAN'S BENEFITS
Solid Colored Fabrics Popular.
Solid colored fabrics will prove the
universal choice this season, so at the
risk of appearing of one idea I musb
advise ladies' cloth or the nvwer Vene
tian for a "dressy fall suit." Belt,
collar and yoke of velvet, overlaid
with an embroidery of silk cord and
spangles would be pretty, if your
dressmaker is equal to the work, as
these embroideries are done by the
sewe::; if not, have your accessories of
taffeta silk with a tiny fur edging, or
band of cord passementerie with jew
els. Select a warm brown, an army
blue or a light gray.-Ladies' Home
Journal.
One More Colleno Open to women.
The directors of the West Penn
Medical college at Pittsburg, Penn.,
have finally decided to admit women
as students, and the first to enter was
a Jewess, Miss Luba Natalia Robin,
aged 20 years, who came to this coun
try three years ago from Russia, Dr.
Lange, the distinguished dean of the
college, in expressing his gratification
over the late decision of the directors,
said: "Women always lend a digng'
to any school. I neyer knew a woman
attending a medical college to fail in
an examination, and usually they lead
their classes. The principal reason
that the West Penn college has been
induced to open its doors to women is
that they can attend medical schools
in practically any other city in the
United States and abroad.-Philadel
phis Inquirer.
Furs for the Season.
Even furs are made Bayadere style
this season and the lustrous stripes ofJ
mink run around instead of up and
down the cape which covers my lady's
shoulders.
The smart cape falls to the waist
and is finished by a frill of fur. It
has a high, flaring collar and revers,
which turn back and fall in ripple
folds, like the satin or velvet revers
of the gown.
The short jackets of sea and Per
sian lamb are modeled after the same
designs as those from which the cloth
jackets are made. T!hey fall three
quarters in length in the back, or a
bit shorter, but are short in fr6nt,
rounding up in tapering lin'es over the
hips. They fit closely in front anr.
have high collars, usually lined with
a lighter fnr and broad, flaring cnffs.
Buttons of cut steel are used. Pe A
7ib~~ith the blue fos, ermine aid.
white for anaisijdaub and er
mine are very fashioniable combina
tions.
The Evolution of a Paris Gown.
The Paris gown that bursts full
blown on the eye of the client is not,
as the public believe, a creation of
the great dressmaker himself, nor is
the great dressmaker responsible for
the fashion. This model gown is the
result of an almost infinite collabora
tion. Up in the garrets of the criss
cross streets live a modest class of
artists that make projects. They get
their inspiration fromn old portraits at
the Louvre, at Versailles, from ele
gant women in the driveways of the
Bois, or from some hazard. They
modify, develop, combine, following
a drift which they do not control, till
they have produced anovel idea that
the phblic is likely to accept, and that
is therefore salable. Their projects
are fixed in sketches and they are
known as marchands de croquis.
Others of these specialists make up
their projects in cloth, and are known
as mnarchands de modeles. These oc
cnpy a more important rank than the
first,isince the models form a demon
stration that the ideas can be realized.
The model merchant is in relation
with the manufacturers,- who provide
her with the new materials they have
imagined, and whose interest it is to
have their "truck" presented to the
great dressmaking houses and so
launched on the market.-Scribner's.
White Gloves Good Form.
The woman of moderate means
thinks usually that the game is not
worth the candle in wearing white
gloves, but the excellent effect they
give when kept in good condition is
really worth a great deal of trouble.
White gloves are to be worn for every
thing this year. Chamois gloves will
be worn for ordinary street wear,
white glace gloves, with black stitch
ing, for handsome street costumes.
and white giace or undressed kid for
evening. There will be some womien
who will wear the pale tans and grays
to match the cloths of these shales
which are so popular this year. But
there is nothing prettier than a rea
sonably clean white glove. It gives
a trim effect to a woman's whole cos
tume. It is really worth while to
buy hand forms, and, with a good
cleaning substance and a fine flaunel,
a glace glove can have the spots re
moved each time the gloves are worn.
Chamois gloves are not as cheap as
many people think, nor easy to keep
clean, but. to speak of their gocod
qualities, they are not as clumsy inow
as they have been, and the band looks
very well in them. The first cost of
the chamois glove is inconsiderable,
but it must soon be washed and it
pulls and needs mending, and with
the best of care it is not long before it
is past mending altogether. But it
can be kept clean, and by washing iu
naphtha and taking pains, it is a glove
that is worth while.-Chicago Times
Hei ald.
The Dowaa.r Empress of China.
The very intelligent minister of the
Chinese government to the United
States, Mr. Wn T.ing-Fang, says that
the timne honored story of the Empress
Dowager of China having been a
slave girl has no foundation in fact.
Doing this Mr. Wu destroys some 01
the romance which surrounds this re
markable woman; but there is still leit
enough to make het career a wonder
to her sex. The empress dowager was
not a slave girl, but she was the
daughter of an 6bsouri offcial, and
today she is the actual, as for mauy
years she has been the virtual, rifler
of the great Chinese empire. The
first straw pointing the way of the
wind was a royal decree degrgdihg a
fabinet officer whose position corre
sponds to that of the secretary of the
treasury at Washingtofi. This man
had been in high favor with Uid em
peror, and it was not to be rposed
that be would have been rememed nn
less some power greater than the em
peror's had wrought the chafrge. The
only power which is above the em
peror's in China is that of the em
press dowager. Since. the removal of
this official the empress dowager has
come out openly and reassumed the
regency.
There are really no ogres in China,
as we commonly undestand the term.
There are servants under oontract for
a number of years, as our appren'tices
are bound to masters until they reach
their majority. In some families these
servants are treated as daughters.
Sometimes the master of the house
takes a fancy to the girl and takes
her for his concubine, or second wife.
If she bears him candren she is raised
to the position of wife. -Harper's
Weekly.
Keeping a Husband.
"Every married woman, unless she
has been so unfortunate as to marry a
brute, holds her happiness under God
in her own hands and the keepers of it
are love and patience," says Mrs.
Moses P. Handy in the Woman's Home
Companion. " 'Never reason with an
angry man,' said the Eastern sage. It
does no good under any circum
stances, and when the man is your
husband it is worse than folly. What
will it profit you, even though you
have the-best of the argument? There
fore,in everything, unless it be a mat
ter of consaienc,it. is generally better
to yield than to contend. Not that
the wife is to be slavishly submissive;
I no man can restect a woman who is
lackingl* self-respectand every mar
ried woan ras her rights. But the
best way in which to secure these
rights is not by doing aggressive bat
tle for them. Let them be taken as a
matter of course, taking it for granted
that your husband's first wish is always.
for your comfort, as yours always is
for his. Never forget that your in
terests are, or ought to be, identical,
I to cnvince.him that his wife
Ak s-ilbest friend and safest con
i da*te To that end never repeat
-anything which he tells you of his
own or of other people's affairs; and
if he makes disparaging remarks of
any one, keep the knowledge strictly
to yourself. Even Lhe law cannot
compel a woman to bear testimony
against her husband; she is a fool if
she does so voluntarily. Let it be
your chief object to please your hun
band, and count nothing too much
trouble to this end. It seems almost
an insult to urge neatness of person
upon any self-respecting woman, yet
there are many wvives who come short
in this respect, who fall into the griev
Ionis error of tLaning that John doesn't
matter. John does matter much more
than anyone else,and it is many times
more important that you should look
well in his eyes than in those of .all
the rest of the world. The task of
keeping a husband is to the full as
difficult as the winning of him, and
is far more necessary."
Fad and Fancy.
Long coral neckchains are still in
fashion and coral jewelry is gaining in.
favor.
A curious niovelty originating in
Paris is a striped cloth gown with
checked sleeves.
It is hard to improve upon the
beauty of a plain sealskin coat, but a
pretty jacket of the fur trimmed with
chinchilla is attractive.
.A new departure in pressed velvet,
which promises to be as much of a fa
vorite as the alligator-skin style, is a
tangle of slender crescents.
One of the latest novelties in silver
is a silver frame for pumice stone for
the washstand. There is a little sil
ver ring attached by which it can be
hung.
Long lace scarfs are passed twice
around the neck, tied in a bow in
the front and a'e held up by a white
sik band to which they are fastened
with fancy pine, back and front.
The solid gold round bracelets are
still attractive and the bracelets in the
same shape in iligree work in gold
and set at intenvals with precious or
seii-prcions stones are beautiful.
Popular fur trimmings are of sable,
mink, or martcn tails hanging like
deep fringe from yokes or square
sailor-shaped c:>llars of Lyons velvet
overlaid with silk cord and bead ap
pliques.
The style still prevails of using
black with color, as, for example, a
princess dress of Russian green or
plum color, with trimmings of black
f; r and passementerie ornaments en
applique.
The coats with long rounded backs
grow prettier and prettier as the sea
son advances. What could be pret
tier than a black velvet coat of this
kind with a collar and big, broad:
lapels of rich brown sable? There is
nothing to which the woman so easily
accommodates herself as to the styles.
Patterns in jet are very handsome
on black cloth and velvet gowns where
they are put on so heavily that they.
must add much to tho weight of the:
garment. Black jet is seen on white,
but there it is put on less heavily.
Here and there a rhinestone buckle
is seen, enough to show that it is in:
evidence.
A LAY 09 THE COt-F LUNK5.
t's up and away from our work today,
For the breeze sweeps over the down;
ad it's hey for a game where thegots
blossorms flame,
And the bracken is bronzing to brown.
With the turf 'neath our tread and the blue
overhead ,
And the song'of the lark in the wbin;
There's the fhag and the green, witq the
bunkers between
_tz will you be over or in?
The doctor may come, and we'll teach Mm
to know
. tee where no tannin can lurk;
The adIdicr may come, and well promise to
show
Some hazards a soldier may shirk:
The statesman may joke, as he tops- every
stroke,
That at last he is high in his aims;
And the clubman will :tand with a club In
his hand
That Is worth every club in St. Jamesr.
Ihe palm and the leather come rarely to
gether,
Gripping the driver's haft.
And it's good to feel the jar of the steel
And the spring of. the ickory shaft.
Why trouble or seek for the prise of a
clique
A eleek here is common to all;
And the lie that might sting is a very small
thing
When compared with the lie of the ball.
Come youth and come age, from the study'
or stage
From bar or from bench-high or low!
A green you must use as a cure for the
blues
You. drive. them away as you go.
We're outward bound on a long, ong round.
And it's time to be up and away;
If worry and sorrow come beek with the
morrow,
At least we'i be happy today.
-From A.Conan Doyle's "Songs at Action.
HUMOROUS.
Smith-It is the unexpjected that
always happens. Horrigan --Yis; un
less we are lookin' for it.
Quizzer-Is he so tery intelligent*
Guyer-Yes, indeed. They refused
to let him serve on a Jury.
"Do -you own your own house,
Tweedles?" "No; we've had the
same cook for seven years."
Uncle George-So yoa really.think
you love the girl? Harry-Love her?
Why, I actually enjoy her mother's
company.
Tommy-Paw, how did lead get its
name? Mr.Figg-They tried to make
nails of it, but fouind that it could not
be driven.
The wind across my chimney
Wakes no depth of joy i me;
For I know that its wild singing.
Makes my coal bills bgger be.
"No; I never carry 1my business
into my home." "What is your busi
Less?" "I am the proprietor of an
intelligence office."
He-Idon't beli e you*Acantel. ho
You haven't asked me yet."- And
what is more he didn't.
"I hear that you, have got a job at -
last, Billy." "I have becured a posi
tio, Jim." "How much pay do you
g a day?" "My salary is $1.25 per
diem.
"The Chuzzletops beat the world in
economy " "What do. they -do?"
"When Chazzletop has a cold he
doesn't get his prescription filled until
his wife gets a cold, too."'
"Mr. Yabsley, may I ask why you
aways dip your knife in your glaes of
vater before cutting your steak?" ".it
is a little trick I learned from a fellow
who worked in a.rubber factory.''
Wheelmen are fast, but iu wit they are slow,,
Although I can't say they're sedate.
A. tack In the road is a joke, you know,
But they don't see the paint till too Late.
"Irvould die a thousand deaths for -
vou"5. said the villain in his most
ilken tones. "I fear me much,"said
the heroine, whose angel's love was
growing cold, "that the piece will not
run that long."
"I say,"' said Fuddles, who some
times thinks he is smart, "what .sort
of fruit can you raise on an electric
plant?" But Faddles, who also thinks
he is smart occasionally, promptly re
plied, "Currents.".
Two ministerial candidates named
Adam and Low recently 'preached in a
Scottish church. Mr. ILow preached
in the morning, and took for his text,
"Adam, where art thou?" lie made
a most excellent discourse, and the -
ongregation was much edified. In
the evening Mr. A dam preached, and
took for his text, "Loa! here I am."
A recent advertisement contains the
following: "If the gentleman who
keeps the shoe-store with a red head
will return the umbrella of a young
lady with whalebone ribs and an iron
handle to the slate-roofed grocer's
shop, he will hear of something to his
advantage, as the same is the gift of
a deceased mother now no more with
the name engraved upon it"
A Chlnaman's Xernory.
"The intellectual capacity of the
C'inese may. rank with the best in
Western countries. Their own liter
ary studies, in which memory plays
the important part, prove the nation
to be capable of prodigious achieve
ments in that direction. It is stated
in Macaulay's Life that had "Para
*aise Lost" been destroyed he could
have reproduced it from memory. But
even such a power of memory as he
possessed is small as compared with
that of many Chinese, who can repeat:
by heart all the thirteen classics; and
t s as nothing to that of some Chi
eese, who, in addition to being able
to repeat the classics, can memorize a
large part of the general literature of
their country.
"A Chinese acquaintance of milie
was able at the age of sixty-five to re
produ-e, verbatim, letters received
y him in his youth from some ofs his'
iterary friends famous as stylists.
When pitted against European stu
dents in school or college the China
-an is in no respect inferior to his
Western contemporaries, and,whether
n mathematics and applied science,
or iu metaphysics and speculative
thought, he is able to hold his own
against all competitors."-"China in
Transformation, by A.R. Coiquhoun.