Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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TRI-WEIKLY EDITION. WINNSBORO, S. C., MAY 21 1895. ESTABIS&HED Do frusts pay? Never; they make outsiders pay. Onesometimes findsit necessary to s8, a good example for his neighbor's chi dren as a matter of self-defense. If that bill to tax bachelora ever be, romes a law a good many of the girls probably will consider tax-dodging e 4uty. Enougn wine has been spilled at Ni( I aragua Canal banquets to float a man of-war across the isthmus. But still, where's your old canal? Oscar Wilde resembles Emerson always having pencil and paper handy to jot down his best thoughts. But the resemblance goes all to smash when hE begins to write. If the late Gen. Badeau had been kI Aoswell he might have written a bet. ter book than Grant's. As the matter stands, Grant was by far the cleareri 'impler and stronger writer. The Japanese authorities keep secretj well. Where in the history of the worldI has -greater mystery veiled the move ments of armies or peace negotiationy than in this same Island Empire? A St Louis woman has applied for di, vorce on the ground that her husband Is addicted to the suicide habit. Why not simply encourage the habit? A funeral would be much cheaper than rI livorce trial. 1 The Minneapolis Times rises to re Inark very gravely that "three-fourthi of the civilized sensuality is rooted in an untutored imagination." Well, what do you advise? What shall w4 1c next? A peculiarity of all good machines i that they cannot be managed by drunkc en men. By a process of artificial selec tion, all the good places in the world are naturally passing into the hrn-ds q- r the sober men. Some men never know a good tMin r when they see it. Thomas Punshon of 8 St. Joseph. Mo., recently received a twenty-one year sentence for murdering his wife. He applied for a new trial I and has just been found guilty of mur- i der in the first degree and sentenced tr t bang. _ The assessed valuation of th prop erty in Boston, with one-third the popu. a lation, is nearly four times greater thar a that of Chicago. In 1893, when Bos- t ton's population was placed at 50,004 the assessed valuation of real and per. sonal property was $924.134O.2-.a4 the same year, when Cifcago's popula- t tion was 1,500,000, her assessors placed E the value of real and personal property %t $245,790,359. N England is engaged in a war in tht remote ranges of the Hindoo Koosb Mountains. India, a potentate there having refused to give up his 'ancient possessions at the august demand of the British empire. A British army of 14,000, of which only 500 are English men, is marching upon the obstinate barbarian. The number of Englishmen looks small, but they can. put up a bluf 'vertowering the Himalayas. A man sued the New York horsa dealing concern known as Tattersall's a because a hunter sent to it b'y him to t be sold by electric light had been inad- r vertently put up at auction in broad t daylight, with the result that certain b defeca~ or superfluities in or upon his V legs .acame easily apparent to pur- V chasers, and he brought only a very 9 S small price The plaintiff got a verdicf - f $230. _________ The war between Japan and Chins has resulted in such a markedi increase in the flour trade of the Pacific coast with these countries, that some of the milling companies have sent represen tatives there in hope of further increas ing the trade. If the millions of Japant and China could be educated into eat- r lng wheat flour, the Pacific coast millers Ir would have a ready market for morn "han they can produce.I By the signing of the contract fo~ the building of a submarine torpedc bat-the Government is at last commit. ed to the development of this arm of aval warfare. Several years ago an appopiatonwas made for such a yes se, but the planr submitted and the ex periments undertaken were not of a nature to justify the Navy Department In having a boat built. Scveral of the! foreign governments have made ex-a periments in this line, and a few years ago it was rumored that both Spain andi France had been successful in get ting a vessel that would travel at good speed for long distances under the water and remain uder full con trol of the crew. The announcement. seems to have been premature, how ever, as little has been heard of thernm snce. It is evident that the Navy De partment is convinced that it has a by the Holland Company. If the vessel ~' ustifles the announcement of its de signers it will add a most formidable engine of war to our fleet. Submarine navigation has been a mcst fascinating field for inventors, but Jules Verne's Captain Nemo is the only one who has been able to surmount all the difficul ties. The author of that del!ghtful novel neglected to explain certain im portant points about the invention, and the Nautilus has unfortunately remain. ed the only vessel of her kind--even or i paper. Possibly a new era is at hand r a,'. least for ships of war. To morrow's advertising may be a ' Jav too late. '"G. WHILLIKENS." It Ln Ardent Angler Gets Up at Mid- t night to Capture a Big Trout. James Barnes tells an unusual "fish. rman's yarn" in St. Nicholas. Isaac Walton Jones, a smart city boy and a l -reat fisherman, is shown a giant I .rout, named "G. Whillikens," by the :ountry boys in the village where he s staying. He goes to bed with his nind full of thoughts of the fish. Mr. Rarnes goes on with the story as fol. ows: How long he slept Walton did not mnow. But he awoke and found him -ef leaning over the foot-board, gazing lown where a moment before he ought he had seen the great form >f G. Whillikens swimming over a tream bed of rag carpet "I was dreaming," said Master rones, shutting his eyes, and preparing :o thrust his sturdy legs under the bed- i lothes again. It was just at this mo nent that he noticed that It was broad noonlight outside; so he jumped to: he floor, and raising the curtain, he ;azed out of the half-opened window. The whole landscape was aglow with he soft gray light. He could see the ;hadows of the honeysuckle vines veaving across the floor of the piaz.' rhe next house stood out clear and )lain amid the surrounding trees, and ie could catch even the tints of the ollyhoeks and the white points of the mchele.r's-buttons growing along the 'Icket-fence. Far away the course of lie stream was marked by the line of ea-rly mist that bung at the foot of. he soft blue hills. A few bright stars lazed and sparkled overhead. A isherman is one-third poet, and Wal on knelt and leaned both elbows or he window-sill. r Suddenly- a sentence he had read a one of his father's books came into is mind: "Trout often feed on MOOD ght nights." Silently he stood up and commenced t o dress himself; his hands trembled, c .s he put the flybook in his pocket and t eached in the corner for the Orvis rod. t 'hen he climbed quietly out of the t vindow-stumbling over a baby car tage and a boy's velocipede; and, crambling over the fence, he founc imself in the village street It was silent and deserted as he it] urried down toward the old red N iridge, trotting now and then, and :oking back as if he expected at any s ioment to hear his mother's voice cal' it Walton! Walton!" o: But there was no sound, and he saw d o sign of life or movement He felt b s if he were walking through a pie P re. As he dodged under the fence a b icepy bird fluttered in h Eartled-him- *an .hw---.rt begun to eat fast and loud. The meadow grass r raked him to the waist with dew. oon he lost the path, and tore his a r.ay through the tangled hardhacks h ) the little clearing about the ruined h 11. Here he paused and untied the t ray cloth cover of the bamboo rod. t t glimmered, and the reel buzzed like great insect as he threaded the line brough the metal guides. Waltor ad to stop now and then to take deep ,ng breaths. At last the line was stretched, and ith chilled fingers trembling from d scitement he selected from the 1ly ook three dainty tempting flies-one silver hackle," a "white miller," and "royal coachman." He moistened e 2m with his lips, stretching the tight, siled snells before he attached them >the "leader." When all was right, e balanced the supple rod in his ner-j ous hands and stole toward the bankt there it shelved away to the silent, wirling pool beneath the outiet of ie sluice.I Hie stood there for a moment with nt moving. The water dripping fromy ie dam seemed to beat a regular tat- 5 o; a dog howled, back there in the 3 illage, and a fox prowling about the o: >wer pond yapped derisively. As he o: -atched the dimpling, shifting surface eneath him, suddenly he started; t iere could be no doubt about it-that 'y ish and plash and ripple meant s tl se! tU G. Whillikens was feeding? y Walton's heart seemed to be jump- c< ig back of his throat and eyes as he ised the rod, gathered some slack si com the slow clicking reel, and cast p ut to the middle of the pool. Too tl ick at that time; he must let it float l >ger with the current-let it sink an ii ch or so-and draw it slowly. He u ad been too quick entirely. t Another cast. Flash! chug! whip. b hir! He had him! Boys and girls a nd flsherman!--he had him! The d ne cut the pool from right to left, the p od bent to the shape of a fishhook. n hat did the boy care for noise or 'ii ation now? He stumbled over thef >se planks; he groaned when the o ne came toward him, and he coul d ot gather it in fast enough as tho reat trout made for the opening of he sluice-way. Stop him he must.! Vith the line twisted and snarled bout his fingers he swung the rod harply to the left, as 'If G. Whillikens ad been a minnow. No rod of seven C unces could have stood the strain. 'here was a snap-the tip had broken hort at the ferule, and the city boy ave way to one wild sob. Despair- . C agly he followed the slackened line? ith his eye-and there the shallowC ight beneath him lay the huge fish, waying from sIde to side, his back . out of water. He had turned him! I Not a moment to think now! Wal- il an dropped the rod, poised himself ' ud leaped, hands, knees, and elbows E ight down upon him. The fish strug- ~ Led against his breast-slipped through ~ Lie eager fingers, and was clasped E gain, this time more firmly; and, with ha 11ni tailin far behind him. Wal- L on quickly clambered out of the pool, ver the rocks and loose boards neqr lie sluice-way, and did not stop till Le was some thirtv feet uD the sloe there the cows had made a n'Addy ioof-grooved path. There the eager oy lay down upon the trout, and hele iard and fast. His Novel Theory of Tides. Uncle Alvan Dunning, the hermit of he Adirondacks, maintains that the arth it not round like a ball, but as [at as a pancake; or, at best, that it esembles a milk pan, with enough of n edge to it to keep the water from 'unning away. A number of guests at Charlie Betn tett's "Antlers," on Raquette Lake vere discussing the theory with Uncle Ivah one day during the last hunting eason. One of them undertook the opeless task of convincing the old man f the error of his belief. Among othel hings he called attention to the tides. "Uncle Alvah," he said, "you'vi ieard of tides, haven't you? How do ou account for them if the world isn'f ound?'' The old man remained silent fot u rhile, and then drawled forth: . "Wall, I have some idee as to 'em." "What is it, then?" asked the ques oner, while all the sportsmen drev ear to await the answer. Uncle Alvah was not to be hurried .nd after another pause he remarked: "Did ye ever turn over in bed? I hink's more than likely." "Yes, I've turned over in bed." "Do ye sleep 'tween sheets?" "Always," replied the questioner, inghing "What's that to do with it?"' "It's got all to do with it, in my opin )n. When you went over didn't the ed clothes kind o' slip round and slosh ound, and didn't get there same time s you did?" "Yes." "Wall, that's my idee of the tides. 'he old earth sort o' slips round under de water like a man under the bed othes, or it teeters a bit like when yoq p a milk pan. The water don't gei iere quite as fast as the land, an" at's what makes the tides." The Flying Dutchman. Perhaps the story of the Flying utchman has never been better told ian by Capt. Marryatt in the novel hich he founded upon It. Cornelius anderdecken, a sea captain of Am. erdam, coming home from Batavia much troubled by head winds when T the Cape of Good Hope. Day aftei Ly he goes on struggling against the ffling weather, without gaining a xt of ground. The sailors grow eary, the skipper impatient. Still the eak sou'wester continues to blow the A 6 1 ll..1- V x 9 - - ary-wcts mtn goes on; then a ter, ble fit of passion seizes Vanderdeck. . He sinks down upon his knees, 2d, raising his clenched fists to the ?avens, curses the Deity for opposing Im, swearing that he will weather te cape yet, in spite of the Divine will, tough he should go on beating aboul atil the Day of Judgment As a pun hment for this terrible impiety, he I. omed to go on sailing in the stormy as east of Agulhas until the last trum. ~t shall sound, forever struggling ~ainst head winds in a vain effort to >uble the South African cape. Such, tbrief, is the legend of the Flying 'utchman, as it has been accepted by nglish-speaking sailors for many gen rations past. Eagerly Accepted. The duties of the English maid o'f anor are not tiresome, and as a goodi tary goes with the office, Queen Vics ~ria has no difficulty in selecting comn inions. They are always the daugh ~rs of peers, who, if not themselves >nnected with the royal household, c'e personal friends of the Queen. hen an Honorable Miss or a Lady omebody arrives for her first "wait,'' ie receives at once her badge as mnid lhonor. This is a miniature picture 'the Queen set in brilliants, which she -ears hung from a ribbon. From that me her mission is to De on fland wflen 'anted. Just before the dinner hour ie maid of honor in waiting stands in ie corridor outside the Queen's pri ate apartments to receive her as she >mes out She carries a bouquet, 'hich, on entering the dining-room, ie lays beside the Queen's plate. Her lace at this meal is next to the gen, eman on the Queen's right hand, un as royal guests are present, when she differently placed. After dinner, nless otherwise commanded, she re res to her own prett~y apartments, ut she must be in readiness to answa~ summons at any moment to go to the rawing-roomu to read, sing, play the lano, or take a hand at cards. The. aid of honor usually makes a bril, ant marriage, and the Queen sends hei >r a wedding present an India shaw' at of the perennial stock. Bread That Returned. ee of paper, on which the word Monkey" was written in large letters, the cap of ai professor against whom e hada spite, told the joke to all his Lassmates. The nex,t day the pro essor said to the class, in bland and1 olite tones, "Gentlemen, I have to [tank one of your number for the ourtesy of dropping his card in my ap yesterday." That student Wa' aled Monkey ever after. Bread and Butter Both, A tree which has been found in the' 'rench settlements on the Gaboon river i Africa, almost realizes Lowell's' rhim of a tree bearing buttered muf-1 ns. It is called the bread-and-butter ree and it yields both a thick and fatty ubstance called coy-cay, which is an xcellent substitute for butter, and a rain from which very nutritiou' read is made. "IN WORLDS NOT REALIZED." (By a prejudiced but puzzled victim o. tea caddies and ginger jars.) I suppose there's a war in the East, (I am deluged with pictures about it), But I can't realize it-no, not in the least, And, in spite of the papers, I doubt it. A Chinaman seems such a nebulous chap, And I can't fancy shedding the gore of d Jap. Those parchmenty fellows have fleets? Bir ironclads, each worth a million? I cannot conceive it, my reason it beats. The lord of the pencil vermilion - Fits in with a tea caddy, not a torpedo. Just picture a man in that queer bay of Yedol It seems the right place for a junk, (With a fine flight of storks in tho offing), But think of a battle ship there being sunk By a Krupp! 'Tis suggestive of scoffing, I try to believe, but 'tis merely bravado. It all seems as funny as Gilbert's Mikado. And then those preposterous names, Like a lot of cracked bells all a-tinkling) I try to imagine their militant games, But at present I can't get an inkling Of what it can mean when a fellow named) Hong And one Ting (Lord Higli Admiral!) go it ding dong! A Nelson whose nomen is Whang To me I admit's inconceivable. And war between Wo-Hung and Ching-a. Ring Chang, Sounds funny, but quite unbelievable. And can you conceive Maxim bullets a. sing Round a saffron-hued hero calied-Pong, or Ping-Wing? A ship called Kow-Shing, I am sure, Can but be a warship pour rire. And Count Yamagata-hemust be a cure) No, no, friends I very 4ch fear That in spite of the picures, and por, traits, and maps, I can't make live heroes of Johnnies and Japs! -Punch. T was just after Mrs. Denver had given her niece Josie to under stand that she must give up Frank Ellington that the lodger arrived. He was old and grumpy, this Mr. Wiggle ton, but as he always paid in advance Mrs. Denver was perfectly content "Ther's a lodger for you!" she said, exultingly. "I just wish he'd keep the rooms forever!" It was a bright October evening when Mir. Wiggleton sent for Mrs. Denver to come up to his room. "Dear me!" thought the fluttered housekeeper; "whatever can the mat ter be? It's too bad. I believe he's oing to find fault with your guitar practice, J osie." "I can't help it," said Josie, piteous y; "I must gef on with my guitar les sons." Mrs. Denver obeyed the unwonted summons. Mr. Wiggieton, wvho was sitting in a big chair, cleaning his meershaum with a bit of chamois, aid down his work and solemnly ad usted his blue spectacles. "Mrs. Denver," he said, "I'm think ng of being married." "And leaving me, sir?" ejaculated he housekeeper, with failing heart "It won't be necessary, ma'am, to eave you." "Oh, indeed, sir! Then you wiUl bg your wife here?" a.~y bride will be here already, ma'am. It's Miss Josie." 'My Josie!". "Yes, mna'am, your Josie." Mrs. Denver's heart thrilled with pide and gratification. "I'm sure, sir, Josie will be very much flattered-" "Would you kindly speak to her, ma'am, and, as it were, break the ie for me? You see I'm rather advanced In years, and I'm not used to this sort f tihing." "Certainly, sir. Oh, certainly!" cied Mmrs. Denver, smoothing her apron. "I hall be honored." She went downstairs as fast as if here were no such things as neural ic pains or stiff old bones in all the world,'to where Josie sat reading in he little parlor. "What do you think, Josie?' she ried, exultingly. "Here is good luck or us! Mr. Wiggleton has fallen iD ~ove with you." "With me, aunty?" "Yes, and be's willing to marry you, f you will be a good girl. Now, Isn't hat good news, Josie?" But to Mrs. Denver's amazement she >urt into a passion of tears and fiung er book upon the floor. "I won't marry him. An old bundle f rheumatism, No, I won't. "Josie!" "I wonder you dare ask me such a ting, aunty, and poor Frank, too) ever! I'll go out to service first" "Child!" cried the dismayed aunt, "yn are raving. There-wipe your yes, quick, and smooth your hair-. e's coming downstairs." Apparently, In Mr. Wiggleston's Idea f things, the process of "breaking the Ice" was not a protracted one, for his inte was now heard deliberately - ney, inenoi ,ais ,o*Ae cryess. lvy what's the matter?" cried Mr. Wiggli ton. 'I won't! There's no use askn me," sobbed Josie. "She don't mean it, sir," apologize, Mrs. Denver. "She'll sulk quite dij feiently presently." "Will you leave us alone togethei I ma'am?" requested the ancient suitoi "No-don't, aunty. Please don't," crie poor Josie. "Certainly, by all means," and Mr Denver whisked out of the room. She went downstairs and sat by t4 .indow trying to &nit, Dut secret!; worrying in her mind about the wilfu lassie upstairs. Surely she wouli never be so crazy as to refuse Mi Wiggleton. Yet girls were so unac countable sometimes. She wished no; that she had insisted upon it, threaten Ing to turn her out of doors, else-beei i imperative. "But, oh, dear!" sighed Mrs. Denvei "wisdom always comes too late." - Presently the door opened. "Mrs. Denver!" called out the volc4 of Mr. Wiggleton-a jocund, compla cent voice, like anything in the world but the accents of a discarded lover. Mrs. Denver hastened upstairs wit) throbbing heart and eager, question ing countenance. Josie sat smilinj and blushing on the sofa with one o two tear-drops sparkling on her eye lashes, while Mr. Wiggleton, witl brown wig somewhat dishevelled bent chivalrously over her. "Is it all right?" asked Mrs. Denver faintly, laying her hand on her heart "It's all right, ma'am; she has prop' ised to be mine." -And when?" "Next %eek."= "Oh, not so sco!" pleaded Josle. "Dearest!" cried Mi. Wfagleton laughingly, "true love brooks no deiay Next week it must be." "Don't be foolish, my dear," sai< Mrs. Denver to her niece. "The sooneo the better." So Josie, overborne by the majority was forced to yield. "My dear," said, her aunt, approv tngly, "I never gave you credit foi half the good sense you have showy to-day." "Didn't you, aunty?" "But I'm delighted with you; ane you shall have the nicest wardrob4 money can buy." The wedding day arrived, and Josip looking very lovely in a lustrous whit( silk, shadowed by the snowy cloud ol a tulle veil, was duly married to Mr Wiggleton in a new brown wig and i suit of the choicest broadcloth. Mrs. Denver, who had remained be - unm peuneuunwerprepararrui of the wedding breakfast, was at the door to . welcome her new nephew-in, law and his bride. She led the wai upstairs to the parlor. "A-hem-mI" coughed Mr. Wiggle ton. "Now that we are safely mar ried, my dear Josle, I do not see the necessity for keeping up these absuri appearances any longer." He calmly removed his wig, diL playing profuse brown curls, and tool the blue spectacles from a pair o brilliant hazel eyes. A pair of iron gray side whiskers were coolly drawi from his face, and the luxuriant foldi of the white neckcloth suddenly reveal, ed a very handsome throat While in, stantaneously recovering' from a chronic stoop, and straightening him. self, Mr. Wiggleton altered, as if fron1 the touch of an enchanter's wand, te Mr. Frank Ellington. Mrs. Denver utered an hysterica scream. "Franlk Ellington!"/ "At your service, dear aunt!" "Are you Mr. Wiggleton?" "I was five minutes ago." "But you-you are not married ti my Josie, sir?" "So the clergyman says, ma'am." "You are a--a deceiving wretch!' cried the aunt, sinking upon a chair "Josle, how dared you?2" "You asked me to marry Mr. Wiggle ton, aunt, and I married him." "But I never dreamed of the basi trick that was being played upon me.' "Oh, well, you see I couldn't helj that," answered Josie, demurely. "Stop a moment," said the bridt groom, with a commanding air thal even Mrs. Denver could not resist| "let me explain matters. I am nl4 longer the penniless suiter to whoal you objected, madam. The day pre vious to my engaging your rooms I re ceived a bequest from an uncle, ren dering me indeendent for life. I had no doubt but that you would imme diately withdraw your objections t4 my marriage with your niece, but preferred, remembering the obstaclel you had always interposed in our path, to woo and win her in my own way, I think we are quits now, Mrs. Den< yen; shall we be friends hencefor ward?" .lHe laughingly extended his hand Mrs. Denver took It and pressed it half pleased, half vexed. "Quits, then, Frank. And you wil keep the suite of rooms?" "I shall duly comply with all thal Mr. Wiggleton promised." So, instead of one lodger, Mrs. Den, ver had two. And Josie and her aunt were both suited.- -The Million. Saving Up. The waiter had their orders. "Dearest," he whispered, "do yot really mean it when you say you will be mine?" She was a bit impatient "Fitz Maurice," she replied, "did 1 not just this moment say plain stew when I might have said terrapin?" That was certainly conclusive.-Do troit Tribune. It is easier to break silence than tC mendl it, GAVE HIM A LESSON. A Traveling Man Who Annoyed th Wrong Girl. As the drummer came into the smoki a man in the corner gpt up and wez out rather hurriedly. "You seem to have a bad effect upo that party," remarked a man froi Chicago. "Well, yes," laughed the drumme "te doesn't like to see me around." "Who Is he?" "I don't know his name, but I hal bened to see him utterly put to rout on a train once, and now whenever b sees me he feels better to get out of th "What was It? TeH us about It, eame in chorus, says-the Free Press. "He's one of the kind of traveln men who are always discreditable t the profession, and I think he travel -for some third-rate house in Nev York. I never saw him until the day saw him get what he deserved, ani from what I have seen of him since should say it had taught him a val nable lesson. It was on a train goinj out of Louisville, and there was i pretty girl aboard, who was of the typH that grows into viragohood, perhaps but of that let us not talk. In an: event, she had a section In the middli of the car and this fellow came in an< after looking the territory over, sa down where he tould look into he: face. There was no other person o1 that side of the car, and only two 01< ladies and myself on the other. -He ha4 Just begun to ogle the girl by grinning and gazing at her, when she change< her place and turned her back on him In a few minutes he had taken the sea beyond and had begun his operation again. She stood it some time an( changed her position again. He di( the same, waiting quite a little while so as not to attract too much attention She changed again and he went to th( bmoker. Then I stepped over anm asked her if she needed my services ix stopping the'annoyance. She thanke me and said she would attend to 11 herself. Pretty soon he came back and sat down facing her again, with f smile as If he thought he was havins I great joke. She changed again and vo did he. This time I -could see hei theeks redden and could almost hea her eyes snap as she reached over and Dpened a little handbag by her side She took from It a revolver and as she looked up again she nodded and smed as if she wanted him to come to her But she didn't, though it looked thai way when she got up and taking a few steps stood in front of him. Then shi shoved the revolver close to his face, "'There,' she said, loud enough foi us all to hear, 'that loaded, and if yet "She trembled so as she spoke thai the revolver shook in her hand, but the Erned and walked firmly back to hex place, sat down again, and the remark tble part of it was she sat. so if he raised his face he would look directly at her. But he didn't raise his face. He slunk out toward the smoker and he never came back. I've met him several times since," concluded the drummer, "but I have never seen him so much as look the second time at a lady on a train." TH E LOCOMOTIVE. fLooked Upon by the Engineer as a Thing to Be Admired. . "I think we all love the locomotive, said a traveler. "Coming into New~ York on a through train on one of the days of the big cold spell, at the last Iplace we stopped at to change engines I [got off and stretched my legs on the Iplatform a little, and walked forward Iand looked at 'em couple on the fresh Iengine. It had big drivers, a tremend Ious boiler, cylenders as big as barrels, steam chests as big as trunks, and a stumpy little chimney; no gingerbread work about her anywhere, and no lighi -it was after dark-except the head light and the little lamp in the cab shinhig on the face of the steam guag es. Everything else about her black; when the engineer leaned out of the cab window you could scarcely see him against the general blackness; but he backed the engine down as gently and as smoothly and with as perfect accuracy as though it had high noor '.or light "He was evidently in great form, the engineer; and the big engine looked as though it could go through any bliz Eard that ever blew; and as a matter of fact it about made time into New York. But it was a hard pull for her; you could hear her breathing as you step~ped out of the car in the Grand Central station and started to walk along the platform. You look at her again here in the light as you pass, admiringly; and you have a very friendly feeling for the man whom you Ibring into view an instant later as you move ahead, and who'is stand. Ing on the track square ahead of the big engine and looking up at her witir a smile on his face."-New York Sun. rue Conditions of a Christian Life. Delight, enthusiasm, hope, content these are the true conditions of a Christian life, just as song is the true condition of the bird, or color of the rose. But, just as the bird is still a bird, although it cannot sing, and the rose is still a rose, although its red grows dull and faded in some dark, close room where it is compelled to grow-so the Christian is a Christian still, even although his soul is dark with doubt and he goes staggerlng on, feeling every moment that he will fall, never daring to look up and hope. Phillips Brooks. He Made en Effort. Miss Charmante-Do you believe in typnotism. Mr. De Softie? IMr. De1 Softie-Whenever you look al Ime I do.-Somerv'e Joual, LET US ALL LAUG JOKES 0 l0W TriE. .-PENS.OF VARIOUS HUMORISTS. "etant Incidents Occurring th Wed. over-Sayings that A"e Cheerta to ths Old er Youg-Fny Selectiosta verbody WM Enjoy Beading One Sensible Thing. Second Husband-Did you put h Inonument over your first husbland's grave?" Wife-Yes, poor dearl I erected L, marble shaft twenty feet high abov his sacred dust" Second Husband-What did you In scribe on it? Wife-At rest Second Husband-Well, I'm glad U. hear of one sensible thing ycu have done.-Atlanta Journal. A Criminal Accident. "Any news in town, John?' "Yes; the hangin's postponed." "What fer?" "Well, the man froze an' while they I %vuz a-tryin' to thaw him out he got hurnt up!"-Atlanta Constitution. Expected Too Much. First Tramp-When are you goina on the road? Second Tramp-Not for a week or a yet I started out once before In March and folks expected me to chop three cords of wood and sift a ton of ashes for a sandwic.-Texas Sittinga A Natural Inference. Malindy-Here's a mai-stple $10,000. Uncle Reuben-What bank' he With? Malindy-I didn't say anything 6anks.-New York World. Mistake as to Colo. Sizely-I've a notion to punch Upsey In the jaw. He said I was a zed-nosed BIzley-OhT Ioudn't mind that. He old a fib. Your nose is purple.-Phila 1elphia Inquirer. Overjoyed. Nodd--I never was so hppy In my ife. My wife just got home from a 'ong visit to her relatives. Todd-Glad to see her, eh? Nodd-Not that, but she didn't brini, tny of them back with her.-Brooklyn Hife. Setting Himself Right "does me a grave injustice, sir!* "In what way, Colonel?" "In this way, sir. You call me 'mue elless,' when, as a matter of fact, I neryet killed a man without first Igiving him time to pray !"-Atlanta Con titution. Misery to Follow. "Maw, what is a horrible example? asked the youngest boy, looking up t'rom his newspaper. The eldest boy stopped his flgurinj, ong enough to say: "Wait till you get into algebra and you'll find any amgunt "f 'em."-Indianapolis Journal. Certainty. "Are you sure that Florabel is en aged?" "Perfectly. Why, he has stoppe& spending money on flowers for herr" New York World. Always Active. "Business has been pretty slow," said one business man. "Dreadfully so," replied the othea, as he laid down his newspaper. "There doesn't seem to be a steady market foe anything nowadays except green goods."-Washington Star. Heavy Proofs Binthair-Did you believe yoor wife 'when she told you she could cook? ~Nuwed-Oh, yes. She made some biscuits which gave great weight to her statements.-Exchange. .Very High. wager on the age of the prima donna we saw last week," said the young 'woman. "Are the stakes hfgh?" "Yes, indeed. We bet a brand-no theater hat."-Washington Star. "A Drop in the Bucket." -Texas Siftings. 'Prbaid, Teacher-Who was the Derson who turned everything he touched togold. Scolar-I guess it was the man that makes chap jewelry.-Detroit Free