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bONO OF SHIP3. Tne sky made a whip o' the vinds, and lashed the sea into foam, &nd the keen-blowing gales tore the flags and the sails of the ships that were a plunging home;' Of the ships that were tossing home on tho - black and billowy deep But .who shall reach to the wrecks-the wrecks, where the ships and their captains sleep? 0, wreaks by the black seas tossed, In the desolate ocean nights! Lost-lost-in the darkness! lost sIn sight o' the harbor lights I The sky made a veil ' the clouds, and a scourge o' the lightning red, Wnd the blists bowed the masts of the ships that fared where love and the sea-gulls led ; Of the ships that were faring home with love for the waiting breast But where Is the love that can reach to the wrecks, where the ships and their cap. tains rest? 0, ships of our love, wave-tossed In the fathomless ocean nights !. Lost-lost-in the blackness! lost. In sight o' the habor lights I There was once a ship of my soul that tossed o'er a stormy sea, And this was my prayer. when the nights gloomed drear: "Send my soul's ship safe to me! Send my soul's ship safely home, from bil lows and blackened skies !" Bat where is the soul that can reach to the depths-the depths where my soul's ship lies? 3, ship of my soul, storm-tossed, In the far and fearful nights! Lost -lost-in the blackness! lost In sight o' the harbor lights! ea-T rank L. Stanton, In Atlanta Constitution, A MAN OF NERVE. HAVE been held - e4 - up twice by road I agents," said a New Yorker who - has had a wide a range in the field ( X of western experi- P ence, "and al- c though hundreds of other men have had to look into the muzzle of a Henry or a Win- I chester rifle in the hands of a desperado , under similar circumstances, I don'ti believe any one ever had his nerves put to anything approaching the strain c mine were subjected to during one of the seances I was a party to. t "The first time I had to hold up my I hands, with the request that I keep. t them up until further notice under f penalty of a bullet through my heart c if I let even one hand fall below my I head, was down in New Mexico. It was i just after the war, and a party of ust were on our way to Pueblo. I had $500. in good, hard-earned Government money on my person, with which I be lieved I was going to make my ever lasting fortune by investing it in a e gold mine that one of our party had found' he said, not many miles from Pueblo. The United States mail coach was carrying us to that place, and the general impression in those days was that the overland mail was generally well loaded with valuable matter. This seemed to have been the opinion of three enterprising citizens of New Mexico about that time, as we learned when the stage came to a sudden stop in one of the wildest spots in all that country, and the muzzles of three] rifles appeared at the stage windows, with a rough and tough looking manc at the butt end of each rifle. One of the man ordered us to tumble out on I the double-quick. We did not tres pass even a little bit on the time of t these gentlemen, who seemed to be in a hurry, but tumbled out at the word. Then we were ordered to stand min line, front face and close dress, and to t hold our hands above our heads, all of which was done with military prompt mess.- One of the three bustling citizens 'was set to guard us, and to whom the leader of the gang remarked: "'Blow a hole that you can shove at stovepipe in through the first man that t sirs!,' -Then the other two went to cut ting open the mail bags and rifling them. I couldn't tell how the pouches ,were panning out, for the rifling op-. oration was out of the range of my 1 rision, under orders as I was to pre- a serve a rigid 'eyes front.' 1 guess we 1 'had stood there five minutes, and the t strained position was beginning to tell - on me, when I saw something as I t rolled my eyes toward the ground that drove all thought of heavy and painful a ,upheld arms out of my head. Moving ,directly toward me, and not more than a yard away, was one of those terrors of that region, a centipede. This one weas a hideous-looking fellow, at least pight inches long. He kept straight stowprd me, and I never moved my eyes from him. He drew nearer and nearer, inntil he was at the very tip of myI shoe.' I didn't dare move, for I knew the muzzle of a derringer was only a rod away, ready to drive a bullet through my heart. The centipede stopped for a second or two when he came to my shoe, and then turned and passed on by. I raised my eyes and breathed easier. The robber guard didn't seem to be aware of the extist ence of anything else on earth except us and himself, and he seemed to have us all under his eye at once course, to see what direction the centi pede had taken, and I didn't need to, for suddenly I felt a sensation, first at my ankle, and then gradually passing up my leg, that made my blood turn cold. The centipede had crept up my shoe at the instep, and was even then climbing my leg under my trousers! There was no mistakin'g the priching of the long rows of sharp claws as the centipede worked his way along nyt flesh. I knew that the least movemem < I made would disturb the venomouas climber and he would instantly siak wery one of his numerous claws into my flesh and squirt from eacih one its quota of deadly p~oison into my blood. , "There is nothing so quick or s sensitive to disturbance as a centi- I pede. They are harmless if their temn per isn't roused, and thie falling of a. shadow on them is frequently enough i to do that. If you ever go into a een: tipede country, and some morning wake up and find one of these ulyf fellows crawling over your leg, justlet 1 him crawl. Don't breathe, if you can! L in) &t His aharn claws 'will oricek rou unpleasantly and probably. leave ;wo red streaks on: your flesh,-whicb willitch and burn for half an hour, but let him take his time.gIf you make the olighest movement it- will jar on bis nerves,. and he will squat right lown, so to speak, and force every one >f his toes into you its full length. Then you will have poison enough in you to kill a horse. - You can't possi bly be quick enough throw a centi ede off before he sinks his poison laws into you.' I'll tell you how sud en a centipede is. -Two New Mexico miners once were camping together, and one day one of them-saw a centh pede nearly a foot long lying quietly :n the bare arm of his sleeping part. aer. Fearing that the man mighi Lwaken before the centipede moved of iis arm, and make a movement thai At I would prove fatal to him, the miner sprin ook his revolver, crept up stealthily or yo o near that he could hold the weapon a ithin two inches of the centipede, fiable ind fired. The bullet scraped down Thi long the sleeping., man's arm and ing, wept the venomousi intruder , away ike chaff before the wind.'. But. the Iemt )allet wasn't sudden enough. . Al. a hough the centipede was torn into a the a, iundred pieces, it had time to sink forin ts claws into its victim's arm before and b ;ho bullet swept it -off, and the well at. .who,. neaning miner had only precipitated simut is partier's fate. The centipede is as nich like lightning as that. - "Well, there I stood, doubly helA p as it were. If I moved a hand the watching desperado would fill me wite .ead. If I moved a leg the centipede ! vould fill me with poison. Slowly the long errible creature crept up my leg, relie ;tcpping now and then as if pondering resoi Pi >ver his next movement, and theu guen limbing on again, all the time leaving -ust< ii itching, burning track along my rlain eg-something in itself almost intol 6 )rable. I did not know how soon the .tain rascible, creeping terror would take :onul trbrage at eomething in his course solin m.d vent his spite at it by socking hio CpUP oag rows of stingers into my flesh; 'd r xd then the thought that the robbers of it vuld soon be through with their work 4r At the stage and begin their search fot the< mr personal belongings came wit4 Lea, Added terrors. In going through my Auffe :othes they would of course distur ing i Le centipede, and that meant only on' For ling. All I could see in the Outloo) hope or me was certain death, whicheve: lain, vay I turned it over. Yet I kept or circi ioping that the living infernal mal thou :line in my trousers leg might take it until r.to his head to retrace his steps and on h :me down to the ground again beford if ev uything happened to disturb it. Thq the .ntipede showed no disposition o of t aat kind, but suddenly changed his with >ase by moving from my leg to my stag4 ousers below the hip. - One whack thre om my fist would have smashed the ried entipede, with his back against mY betv ip bone, and that would have ended and .im. And it would have ended me at box. :he same time, for there isn't any oper loubt but that the man with the gun the 7ould have obeyed orders. So I was mon tust about to tell him, quietly and Nevi rithout waste of words, the unpleas- as it -.nt situation I was in, and beg him to in le et me give the centipede its quietus possi hile I had the chance, when the robt renomous thing moved back to my lef of< gain and resumed its march. Stev "It crept along, turning when i the 2 -eached my waist, and moving across and: ny back toward the other side. The came tervous tension was terrible-a deadly wild, reature liable at any moment to bury into ts venomous claws in my flesh, the rifle. nuzzle of a pistol warning me that in- rock~ tant death awaited my slightest move. Stev ['he centipede, although most delib- face rate in its movements, reached my Stev ~ther hip by and by, and, to my joy, but tarted down that leg. Slowly he let rise imself down, and so intense was my cove uspense, in the hope that he was on neve tis way out by the route, that I did man, tot feel the burning track that he had hear tow put pretty much all around me. whiz {e took his time, and at last got dowr grev o my knee. There he stopped. o, "My heart seemed throbbing in m3 that very thro'at and almost suffocated me. of s L moment later it seemed to qui; beat- volv< ng altogether, and it was only by the ep nost strenuous assertion of my will ber, hat I saved myself from falling limp spot o the ground. The centipede had eaut: urned and was going up my leg again I to SE was almost on the point of dropping eras: ny hands that a bullet might relieve kille n from the misery of that frightful the ituation, when the capricious centi- esca )ede turned and started down again, he tw noving with more celerity than he had ring tsed since he began that appallingJ insii rip. I don't know what started him, ".1 >ut he kept up his run all the rest of four he way down my leg, and presently The ropped to the ground and scurried inug way. I just shut my eyes, gave one prist the A SURGEON'S KNIFE turn -~ gives you a feeling of horror and drtead, der, r\ here'is no longer necessity for its use threi Sin many diseases formerly regarded asa incurable without cutting. The lead Triumph of Conservative Surgery the is well illustrated by the fact that - been DI IDTI1DpI or Breach is now radi- And l ~RtiL L" cally cured without the as il -knife and without p~ain. Clumsy. chaf. ing truss-es can be thrown, away !They Ove70 neveCr cure but often induce inflammna- a ye, *tion, strangulation and death.. TIb1jflDC Ovarian. Fibroid (U'terine) pa-i P .UlAnJ and many others. are now wor] ,remxoved without the perils of cutting men PILE TUMORS, tw~vn*Ia'argt ~ ic other diseases of the lower bowel, are i jpermanently cured without paiu or re- ha EONTS in the Bladder, no mattert un how large, is crushed. pl verized, washed out and perfectly re moved without cutting. cutting in hundreds of cases. For piam- C vphlet, references and all particulars, send to cents (in stamps) to World's Dis- nleSS pensary Medical Association, 664 MainB Street, Buffalo. N. Y. MOTHERS qnar md those soon to be :ome mothers, hould know that Dr. D ?ierce's Favorite ~rescription robs e / A hldbirth of its to)r- -ko tures, terrors and M langes to both - cy? other and~ child, by uiding ature in pre- .av arng the system av or parturition- mnys hereby "labor" -i m~d ,the period of onrinemenit areb~ creatly shortened. It also promotes the ecretion oif an abiudance of nourishment r the child. LI Mrs. DonLA A. GUTTTRTE.of OakIkf, Overton '. bott 1-nn. writes: "When I began taking Dr. erce's Favor ite rrescription, I was not able to Pa .tau on mv feet without suffering innost (death. LI Cow T do all myi housework. washing, cooking. ewing and everyting for my family of cight. J brou m i stouter now than I have been in six years. Itooyk ur - Favorite Prescription ' is the best to take P >efore cotimnment, or at least it proved so with nie. I never suffered so little with any of niy ?heir larch A Are the Best Mor Purify Yc And the Best D lood's S Which Purifies, Vitalizes his season everyone should take a good ;medicine. Your blood must be puritied will be neglecting your health. There is from Nature for help, and unless there is pt and satisfctory response you will be to serious illness. demand can only be met by the purify nriching and Blood-Vitalizing nts to be found in Hood's Sarsaparilla. , mother-in-law, Mrs. Elizabeth Wolfe, at e of 72 years, was attacked with a violent >f salt rheumu; it spread all ovor her body, er hands and limbs were dreadful to look At the same time, my little daughter Clara, nas just one year old, was attacked by a x disease, like scrofula. it appeared lood's On breath, and was on the point- of ving my pent-up feelings with a inding yell, regardless of conse .ces, when the tough and watchful >mer with the derringers ex ed: 'I'll be blamed, pardner, if you t got more nerve than that stag I hold I But say,' said he, con gly, 'if the p'ison cuss had ea yar, I wouiant a let yar suffer.1 tn a ball into yar and let yar oij from the go in.' .hat bloodthirsty wretch had seen :entipede go up into my trousers' had known all the time what I was ring, and had been coolly waTch o see what the outcome would be! a year after that I lived in the that I might run across that vil and I did. It was under different unstances than I had longed for. gh, arfd besides I didn't know it it was too late to use the bullet im that I had made a vow to use er I had the chance. It was only iext spring after that little affair he Pueblo stage that I, together six others, wrs taken out of a five miles from Nevada City by 3 masked robbers. The stage car Wells, Fargo & Co.'s strong box een North San Juan and Nevada, n this trip there was $8000 in the Two of the robbers blew the bo-i with powder, while the third held seven of us up. They got the y, took ours, and started us on to da. The stage got there as soon could be driven-five miles-ana as than an hour the Sheriff had a a and was out on the track of the ers. I only remember the name ne of that posse, and that was I a Venard. He struck the trail oI nen along the South Yuba River, followed it to a deep ravine thai into the river there. This was a ,rough place, but Steve plunged it. He was armed with a Henry In a narrow alley between higi: in the middle of the ravine a came suddenly almost face to 'with one of the men. a got the drop on the desperado. as he did so he saw another one to his feet on the top of a rock and r him with his revolver. But Stevea r let go his advantage over the firs! ,and sent a rifle ball through hii. t. At the same time a pistol ball zed from the rock, passing through a's hat and cutting hair from the of his head. The man who fired shot dropped down instantly out ght, but.left the muzzle of his re a exposed to Steve's view. Thit sure was fatal to the hiding rob for Steve instantly covered the with his rifle, and as the robber iously raised his head, by and by, e how the land lay, a ball went ing through it. Steve had hardly1 d these two when he discovered hird one of the party trying to pe by sneaking up the ravine, but as brought down by Steve's uner rifle. The three men were killed le of four minutes. ntering the rocky alley Steve1 d all the booty that had been stolen. robbers had evidently been count ;he money when they were sur id Steve went back and found Sheriff and his party. They re ed and secured the recovered plun and brought the bodies of the a dead desperadoes to Nevada. The a of the gang was recognized by heriff as George Shanks. who had .a terror in that locality for a year. I rejoiced when I recognized him ic villain who had stood guard me and the centipede near Pueblo ir before. The express company Steve Venard $3000 for that day's : , and Governor Low made him a: ber of his staff, with the rank of nel. It may sound bloodthirsty, enrtea Steve Venard one thing. as the shot he fired that laid low i fed George Shanks. "-New York istus - What yo' doin' now, aude-I'se runnin' a coal busi tstus-Wholesale or retail? aude-Bofe. Some gits it by de 't, an' some by de peck!-Truth. Not Very Flattering. mley-MISs Ethel paid me such. diculous compliment, dontcher-. ss Sweet-Indeed! What did she 4 mley-Thal Homer could not seen a more heroic figure thati ss Sweet-That's so. Homer was L-Judge.____ Spirited Fishing. tle Girl-Papa, what's in thosei pa-That's the baIt. tle Girl-Well, don't they have le to keep the bait on their s? pa--No. The trouble is to keel. hooks off the -bgi...Smith, &Co.sMoMnthlr. -2 pril May ths in Which to If >ur Blood C lood Purifier is t arsaparilla and Lnriches the Blood. >n each side of her neck; she had the attendance >f the family physician and other doctors for a long time, but seemed to grow worse. I read of Luany Jbeople cured of scrofula by Hood's Sarsa- P parilla. As soon as we gave Hood's Sarsaparilla o Clara, she began to get better, and before the irst bottle was gone, the sores entirely healed up Lnd there has never been any sign of the disease ince. She is a Healthy Robust Child. . [Ter grandmother took Hood's Sarsaparilla at he saine time, and th, salt rheuin decreased in ts violence and perfect cure was soon etfected. It took about three months for her cure, and she Lscribes her good health and strength at her ad anuced age to Hoods Sarsaparilla. it has cer tainly been a Godsend to my family." Mas. Bor'int WvLFE, Zaleski, Ohio. h Hood's. ly Miss Up-to-Date's Doings. There has been an upset in the Up o-date family, and all letters to the 1 aterfamilias now come addressed to u he Hon. Lofticus Up-to-date. Poor ittle Mrs. Up-to-date shrinks further ack in her home shell, and upon the Ion. Miss Up-to-dat3 rests the social lignity of the family. As litfle "Jewel" that young lady n howed some peculiarities of character, f, vhich have, since the family "set-up," " leveloped into positive eccentricities. y Iother Up-to-date is 'amazed at the V >olitical erudition of the "gem," while , he Hon. Lofticus eyes her with exult- I nt pride, for into no other family ra eminine brain could he with the auger )f his sarcastic wit drill even the sem >lance of a political truth. From Jewel the protective policy of ti er father evolves curiously, and as- Is umes the form of dress. 0 The young lady has declared her in ention to patronize as far as possible iome industries. Her gowns shall be Il nade by Philadelphia modistes and to he materials shall be State produc. an ions. Now considering the fact that for rears the Jewel's only evening dresses aave been made of Lansdowne, beeause C )f that young lady's partiality for the t. beeny, graceful fabric, her mother is ~annot see where the principal of pro ective policy comes in however, she >nly says, "Well, what other materials re you going to select besides Lans- "' lowne!'' Where upon Jewel procures al t package of samples, and exhibits ninute bits of those she has chosen for spring and summer wear. Of course a he must have one new dress of plain 1 Lansdown3, which comes in wbite, E lack, the tints, neutral tones, and ich hsgh colors, in new and peculiar fa hades, all showing the exquisite lustre ~ hat characterizes all of these dainty silk-warp materials. Then she must have a fun-party a ~rock of irregular Trilby, and another s mjoyment dress of Merrinelle, a laugh ng stuff, with dashes of sunshine in ts weav'e. Her best dress will be of Blengaline Lansdowne, a dainty sup~ertine line abric, susceptible of the most graceful rrangement in skirt and corsage e, raperies, and then she will supple- a nent her outfit with a novel little robe >f Damassin Lansdowne, which is ery pretty for house dresses and tea ~ ;wns. For general service she will have a tylish suit of the best grade of Hen- fi ietta-Philadelphia make, which it quls any impoited fabric of like char tter and costs less. She knows just vhat she is buying, because on the t elvage is the name of the miannifac- ~ urer, W. F. Read, in perforated letters. Dresses of any and all of the beauti *ul silk-warp stuffs can be trimmed to dvantage with laces, passementeries,b alloons, beadings and embroideries, >ut they are more youthful when conm )led with a suitable raised-pile ma-0 erial. Jewel tried to find something of hat kind among the domestic goods, , >ut failing to do so, she accepted the uggestion of an obliging sales lady, md bought Velutina, a material which* :annot be distinguished from Lyons ilk velvet, as it has the bloom or lush, the finish, the weight of its ex >ensive cousin, and retains its beauty )f appearance for a longer period, even ven exposed to sea air, or damp mtmospheres. M. E. L. E.-If any of our readers should vish to procure samples of WI. F. Read's new silk warp stuffs: Lansdowne, ecngaline Lansdowne, Damassin Lansdowne, Merrinelle, Trilby and hoice Black Henrietta, together with elutina for combination and trim nings, they can do so by writing to JOHN WVANAMAKER, Mail Order Dept., Chestnut and 13th Sts., Philadelphia, Pa. To insure prompt attention please ~ nention name of this paper in ietter to a loh Wanamaker. Justice (In surprise)-What's the -t4 :bartge, offcer? -a McGlathery (new member of the ci !orce) -Fer resistin' an offcer, yer 0: nner. Oi troied t' flirt wid her all d h' way from Twinty-sicond Strate ci lown to Union Square an' she resisted it ne ivery attlntion.-Puck. ei No Place for Her. Deck-Hand-You're on the wrona E ide of the ferryboat; this is tne~ t< men's cabin." P Mrs. Maloney-An' that's the "wimn nin's" over there. Where do the o adies be after going?-Life.g It Affected Both An~ke. Miss Bleecker-We have had sudi long walk, I almost gave out. Miss Emerson (of Boston)-I, too, ~ ipproaced the verge Qf making as monlnanato-ufa Taking a Look Ahead. - Earl of Dedbroke-I have called, sir, I o ask for your daughter's hand. Mr. Porker-H'm! But s'posing they bolish your house of lords over there? Earl of Dedbroke-That wouldn't af ect the ladies, you know. Your daugh ar would still be a countess.-Ex hange. He Knew His Sex. 4 Some men never get gay except when hey eat at a hotel; then they want to irt with the dining-room girls.-Atchl. o-n Globe. His Only Concern. Col. Blood (of Louisville)-A man in a iining town of Pennsylvania shot at a oman who would have been killed ad not a flask of whisky in her corsage topped the bullet. Col. Bloograss (with- a sigh)-I sup ose the liquor was lost.-Town Topics. Eve Must Have. Temperance Enthusiast-Look at the eautiful lives our first parents led. Do ou suppose they ever gave way to trong drink? The Reprobate-I 'xpect Eve must 'a' one. She saw snakes.-Cleveland eader. A Slight Mistake. Gent-How came you to put your and in my pocket? Pickpocket-Beg your pardon. I am D absent minded. I had once a pair , f pants just like these you are wear ig.-Bellage. The Way to Sleep. Potter-The scientists say that thq ray for a man to sleep is to think oif othing. Kidder-But they are wrong. The ray to sleep is to think it is :Ime to gel p.-Vogue. 1 now's This I We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for y case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by ll's Catarrh Cure. F. J. CHENEY & Co., Props., Toledo, 0. We, the undersigned, have known F. J. Che y for t.he last 15 years, and believe him per ctiy honorable in all business transactions z id financially abli to carry out any obliga n made by ther firm. rm & Tusx, wholesale Druggists, Toledo, t .Ohio. rALDING. KIsvAN & MAavIL, Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, Ohio. t a'l's Catarrh Cure is taken internally, act g directly upon the blood and mucous sur ces of the system. Price, 75c. per bottle. Sold r al Druggists. Testimonals free. g It is said that Littre, compiler of j .e monumental dictionary of French I nguage, was the greatest literary toilsr ! modern times. A Battle For Blood what Hood's Sarsaparilla vigorously fights d it is always victorious in expelling all the At taints and giving the vital fluid the quality I ,d quantity of perfect health. Hood's Pills cure all liver ills. 25%. Tile monastery of St. Honorat, near innes, France, has never been en rel by a woman, though it has ex ted 1,400 years. Not An Experiment. The use of Ripans Tabules for headaches. dys psia and other stomach disorders is not an ex riment but an assured success. They will do that we say they will. W. H. Young of Augusta, Ill., owns Bible that was printed in the year I 15. It is believed to be the oldest< ible in America. [ use Piso's Cure for Consumption both in my il -and practice.-Dr. G. W. PIrrEBSOs, Ink er, ich., Nov. 5, 1894. Bavarian radishes are a new fad. hey grow like large cucumbers and re served cold, cut in large, thint ices.t Dr. Kilmer's S w A ar-B O T curm g all Kidney and Bladder trouble. Pamphlet and Consultation free, Laboratory Binzhamtoa. N. 3. f Only one book 'on alummnum has en published in the United states, id that is now out of print. KarIrs Corer Root, the great blood purifier, ivesfreshness and clearness to the comuplexrica nd cures constiaation 25 cts. 50 ets., $1. I With half of the world to choose om, fur seals stick to two little islands tBehring Sea. irs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup for chtldren ething, softens the gums, reduces inniamma-1 O,. alla~vs nain. cures wind colic. %uc. a bottle. * DnamonG cut Dmamona, She-Are you really engaged tc t Hils Lordship -Yaas. I tried te ake ner think lwas proposing with-.e it really pIroposingf, don't you know t -just to find out what she'd say. She-What did she say? Hils Lordship-Funny thing--by ~ >ve-she made me think I was pro. sing.-Life t ON IDJ Y oth the method and results when yrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant p ad refreshing to the taste, and actsn raly yet promptly on the Kidneys, iver and Bowels, cleanses the sys- r m effectually, dispels colds, head :hes and fevers and cures habitual 0 mstipation. Syrup of Figs is the ~ 1y remedy of its kind ever pro ced, pleasing to the taste and ac ptable to the stomach, prompt in a, action and truly beneficial in its rects, prepared only from the most h althy and agreeable substances, its f any excellent qualities commend it all and have made it the most pular remedy known. Syrup of Figs is for sale in 50 mt bottles by all leading drug- k sts Any reliable druggist who d ay not have it on hand will pro- ri re it promptly for any one who ishes to try it. Do not accept any ~ bstitute. . CAFORNIA FIG SYRUP CO. b . SAN FR ANiC/SCQ. C AL. k QUISViLie, 5? -.* .%W YQR, a.e theumatism;' Neuralgi ST. JAC /5T MR MlffI mLIFE DIAR 7M ACASEfIf TI B j MINERALWAT . 1& OTTLW 5&HTZL[ ,ARi TOUR 2RCR 0'Do't Put Off Till To-iorr Buy a Ca 'SAP( BOTH IN THE SAME FIX. Lu Error Which Called Down Anathe mas on a Conductor's Head. A tired looking traveler who was fast sleep sbmitted to a vigorous poking n the ribs and a sound shaking by he coat collar from the railroad con luctor on board the Albany express he other evening, says the New York feraM. "Here, rouse up!" shouted the con uctor. "I'm getting played out on his business. This is the second man leeping like dead I've had to shake ip to-night." "Are we near Poughkeepsie?" asked he man, rousing up, "Poughkeepsie?" echoed the con Luctor. "Don't you begin talking no Poughkeepsie' to me any more to ight. You're just in to your own sta on, New York. I promised to call ou, and here you are. I called up one hap at Poughkeepsie, and good thanks got. After carrying him to the plat orm he swore like the deuce after me hen the train steamed out and rayed to the Lord I might be tum led down a precipice. I've got enough ~oughkeepsie, and New York, too, for ne night" "Do you mean to tell me, you scoun Irel," said the now fully aroused man, 'that you've allowed me to be carried o New York after giving you hale a ollar to put me off at Poughkeepsie?" "Good land!" said the astonished onductor, "I've put off the wrong chap t Poughkeepsle. That's the reason e came tearing back on the platform ,fter the train started to swear blue Levils at me. Here, sir, here's your Lalf-dollar. I'd give more than one o get the two of you changed round o-night. I'm mighty sorry." "Keep your coin," said the irate man, epressing his readiness to swear. You've put me Into a precious nasty Lx, but some one else is there, too. It's retty bad all round, but abuse won't; end it In future I'll take good care .ot to pin my faith on the conductors." Mischievous Mmne. Malibran. No prima donna was ever more de ightfully capricious, more full of misy hief, tihan the famous Mine. Malibran. t the rehearsals of "Romeo and: Jun let" she could never make up heq aind where she was to "die" at night. t was Important for Romeo to knows ut all he could get was "not sure," don't know," "can't tell," or "It will e Just as it happens, according to my umor; sometimes in one place, some ies In another." On one occasion~ he chose to "die" close to the foot Ights, her companion, of course, being ompelled to "die" beside her, and bus, when the curtain fell, a couple of ootmen had to carry the pair off, one .t a time, to the intense amusemeni f the audience. John Templeton, the fine old Scottish~ nor, was probably never so milsera le as when lie was cast to sing with alibran. Very oftenu she was dis leased with his performance, and one vening she whispe~red to him, "Yoig re not acting properly; make love to 1e better;" to which-so it is said,~ 'empleton innocently replied, "Don't ou knowv I am a married man?" Evi ently tie lady did not think there ns anything serious In the circum tance, for not long afterward, when "Sonnambula" she was on her nees to Templeton as Elvino she suc, eded in making the tenor scream rithi suppressed laughter when hq bould have been singing, by tickling. im vigorously under the armns!-Theo orhill MagazIne. In Courtship's Golden Hours. "Well," she said, sadly, "if we must irt let us part friends. Good-by and ay all that's good go with you." If all that's good went with me," he plied, "you would not remain here.". Then she smiled and laid her head n his shoulder and he remained.-New Canght. Sibyl-When Steve proposed to me he yted like a fish o'ut of water. Tirpe-Why shouldn't he? He knewi e was caught-Burlington (Iowa) Ga - InDoubt "Hs old Tough Quit smoking?" In iired one man of another. "I don't 0w whether he has or not, but hej ed the other day," was the evasive! ply.-Philadelphia Record. First Female Voter-What do you iink of Mrs. A.? Second Female Voter-Rather nice, 2awfully effeminate, don't iouI ow-Newark Advertisery gSoiatioa~Bakienes OBStOIL 7o 0 YOU? /S yel H[AI.TV YOLI? THIN X I o W4IT ffN i ST# #CIUPE5T TAILS RI XTE MARETT. PInLIAMLPNM A w the Duties of To-day" e of )LIO An AUak Of ConsIOUc. Coal Dealer-We'll have to sto miixing slate and szones and old irun %nd things with our coal. Yardman - Phwat's the matter, sor? Coal Dealer-The stuff won't burn. and one ton lasts a customer all winter.-New York Weekly. This Is Success inTraveling. .Friena-Did you enjoyyour sojourb in Europe? Relic Hunter-Enjoy it? I shoula .ay so. I cut some gold fringe from the emperor's throne in Berlin, hooked a door-knob from the vatican, broke an ear off an old statue in Italy and chipped off a piece of Shakes. neare's tomb. I wouldn't take $1,000 for 'em.-Puck. Exactly the Beverse. Clubson-Is Spongely much given to drink? Treatly-Quite the reverse. Clubson-Whatl a total abstaineri Treatly-No; much drink is given to Spongely.-Puck. 9,.O There is no Mystery Here: RI-PANS. Tabules Are made uppracticallo thesame in. gredients t. asn oophsoa would presrbe for -yppiJi1U Stomiach, Liver and Bowels.. THE VITAL DIFFERENCE However, is this: The physe 'dollar acnd poupychsedrua win half a dolla mer for Sal lTabuies cost valy 5u cent.. Sold by D17gjists or sent bt MalI. Eipans Chemic'lCo.10OSpruceSt.,N.Y. .LDoucLAs $SHOETma S$3/LePOLCE,35oLF.s. - *392.WORKI 0.Ov nem ion Pope er the W. L. Douglas $3&$4ShlOes AUourshoesare equally satisactory They gve the bevlefr the mnet i ear.n .u:iie .r rom $Si o saved ever other mskes. Ifyourd aneltsupnl'il-Scan. Emphae, Angelo, RubesTain* Ten Cor aF Cuf fs f oher maTofS Aam lo1aand Pafrof CffbfinmB tr a REVERsIBLE COLLAR COXPAIT, 1 Franklin St.. Ntew York. 27 Kilby t.. 2nte rFORFIFTY YEARS! jMRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP Twenty~ive Ceas a Bonale. Ps Lh A.estneey n .r.imaa. a. WSA LL ?ST.;'"iw~ooeaadi34frmun t tr1~U. &arirC A aaw !~A. cP. M.a menensmesemWaalnon, D.. V S~iccessf All Proseue lis WL STim. bydusit