Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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ThE WEEKLY EDITION. WINNSBORO, S. C., MARCH 26, 1895.ETBISE;89 This is the era of the optm1st~ When money talks everybody call an encore. New York Is boasting about her wate solor exhibition. She ought to see tho Chicago river once. A medical authority asserts that "th grip microbe first attacks the stomach." Watch your gripsacks. Gabb is a member of the Connecticu ature. He is also working over a In sevleral other Legislatures. A Lowell (Mass.) man has performed own marriage ceremony. Does he issue divorces while you wait? York, Pa., is reveling in the delight of a molasses war, prices having fallen to I cent a quart. This Is a sweet statV Vf affairs, truly. If the cup defender must have a fem (nine name, what alls Ella Gibility ? Columbus Dispatch. Or Mary Time? The Boston Globe says that "if neces sary the plain people will buy govern ment bonds." Why not give the good 'ooking ones a chance? The Japanese have lost only 43A meL In sixteen battles. If those "orienta: Yankees" ever tackle a modern natioi they are likely to be surprised. The Supreme Court has ruled tha ,amboo is not wood but dried grass and is not dutiable under the new tariT. Somebody evidently has been bar hoozled. Judge Otis of St. Paul has rendered a decision that a husband is legally re sponsible for slanders uttered by ai wife. This rolls another stumbliu %lock in the path of Hymen. There is a phenomenally large'numU ber of men in this country whose In omes are $3.999.-Boston- Record. There is a phenomenally large num oer of men in this part of the countrY whose incomes do not come withio t3,000 of these figures. The defense In the Ging murder tria tn Minneapolis set up a plea that Pris Dner Hayward is a victim of a "species Df insanity, which, though fully devel Dped, is not yet noticeable." This is a species of insanity not known to the medical fraternity, bt may be as good %any.other in mystifying a jury. A bill has been introduced In the Mas sachusetts Legislature making it a mis lemeanor to catch a trout that is less than six inches in length. Such a law entirely unnecessary; any angler will tell you that he never has seen a trou klat was less than six inches long. A sentimental. Parisian poet whc .und himself "unappreciated" In this country "undressed in the snow and was frozen to death after midnight near a footpath over the lojieliest heights near West Hoboken." What a glorious ending that must have been! And hov %renchi This from the Buddhist Magazine o1 *-'-apan: "The greatest movement of the tentieth century will not be a com mercial one, nor yet a military one; but te nations of the West will Invade the East with great armies of Christian missionaries, backed up by the wealth ofChristendom. We must arouse our qelves to meet them." The New York World has asked the banks why they are hoarding $81,000, 000 of gold for which they hav'e abso lutely no use whatever. Their replies are evasive, shifty, insincero. They have no obligations payable in gold. Their notes are redeemable not by themselves but by the government, and not in gold but in greenbacks. The checks drawn by their depositors are payable in paper alone, and, in fact, are paid in nothing else. There Is nc possible reason for them to hoard gold except that they expect a premium up. on it or that they wish to force the gov ernent to borrow money which 11 does not need. Their talk about coun try banks occasionally demanding gold remittances Is folderol. They can gc to the subtreasury upon every such oc casion and exchange greenbacks foz gold in any quantity they please. Th< banks still owe to the public an answei *o the World's question.. Chicago Times: Owing to the faults construction of the Pullman dining cars two of the cooks on the Charlter of the ChIcago and Alton Rtoad, whici burned, escaped. When one considere how seldom Providence comes up witi the dlnlng-car cook it does seem tha1 some Ingenious Inventor ought to ar range a device that would hold the ci prits safely while they burned. Oi course we are referring to the class not to the Individuals. If ,the two mIet who escaped from the Charlton will consider the burning of that car as a lesson to them and reform, the Times will have nothing further to say. Bu' they will not reform. They will go or cooking an arrangement of cannot meats which Is variously entltuled 01 the men, but which flavors the palat< of the pilgrim for weeks with onlt savor. They will make coffee whicl is weaker than anything on this earti except dining-car tea. And they wil conispire to produce dyspepsia with a kind of pie that is simply unmque in Ii biliousness. In general, indulgcnce or those w< snow is rarCr than pity for those wE - THE LAST LEAP. I saw him once before, As he passed by the door, And again The pavement stones resount, As he totters o'er the ground With his cane. They say that in his prime, Ere the pruning-knife of Time Cut him down, Not a better man was found By the Crier on his round Through the town. But now he walks the streets, And he looks at all he meets, Sad and wan, And he shakea his feeble head, That it seems as if he said "They are gone." The mossy marbles rest On the lips that he has presi - In their bloom, And the names he loved to hear Have been carved for many a yea On the tomb. My grandmamma has said Poor old lady, she is dead Long ago That he had a Roman nose, And his cheek was like a rose In the snow. But now his nose is thin And it rests upon his chia Like a staff, And a crook is in his back, ind a melancholy orack In his laugh. I know it is a sin For me to sit and grin At him here; But the old three-cornered hat, And the breeches, and all that, Are so queer! And if I should live to be The last leaf upon the tree In the spring, Let them smile, as I do now, At the old forsaken bough Where I cling. -Holmes. HARLEQUIN'S LEAP. AM NOT ex actly an artis1 -not by anj means a me , , chanic - i t i i hard for me tu say exa c.tly N what head I come under. I reme m b e i there was trou ble the lasi time they took the census, for my wife would not hear of my being de scribed as a "property man," through being afraid those stupid Government officers might think me a man -ofprop erty and go charging me house duty and income tax, and all sorts of things A'hollow kind of life, do you call it1 Well, that's a matter of opinion. Nol if It's done conscientiously, I say. Thai poet I have heard of must have had me in his eye when he wrote "Things are not what they seem." It is my mission to make the unreal appear to be real, and whatever you may think about the usefulness of that pursuit as a help to happiness ib a respectably conducted State, the property man is generally more successful in his aim than the actor who looks down upon him. I dare say they never give it a moment's thought, but the British~ drama would be a poverty-strickeil ar ticle without the help of the property -nan. King Richard having to go on with. Dut a scepter would never be able to render Shakspeare true to nature, and what becomes of your classics, like "The Courier of Lyons," if the mail guard isn't shot at the proper moment? Yes, I have known more than one swagger tragedian have his comb cut through offending the prop erty man. Particularly do I mind n Othello who threw himself on a sofa with one of the legs sawn through by a gentleman in my line of business as revenge for the swagger tragedian's bad temper for a whole fortnight. When he and the sofa and the curtain came down altogether I thought the roof would have been lifted with laughter. The property man had gone home before the last act, or I am sure there would have been a real tragedj that night-and without any of thE Shakspearean dialogue, either. A noble occupation, surely, and a strain upon the mind, certainly. You are always In terror of forgettina something, and forgetfulness has 1ed to many new readings of popular plays. I recollect omitting to furnish a Hamlet with his tablets. Be dived into his cloak for them, and they were not there. So he had to make his notei on imagnary ones, and the next day the newspapers raved about the mag nificence of the new reading. Yet the credit belonged to the property man, who never had any thanks for making the man's reputation. A week of thE legitimate is a regular load on thE bramn, and those historical plays are enough to drive you mad, what with the banners of this army and that, and the spears and the swords, and the rapiers and the banqueting scenes. Did I ever fit up "The Old Toll House"? You'll be asking me If I ever saw !oe Cave next. Ah, there's a play foi vou-full of interest and movement, and those last dying orations for Jack Bunnage-as pretty a bit of poetry as you wish to elsp eyes on. None ol your drawing-room pieces for me with their letters and lockets, and fans and Imitation vases and folderols Good, honest properties are what1 lke-sonsething that can be seen fron the front with the naked eye, and setting the audience wondering ho~ . - Y cost eaninnA ne real horsei ana caTs, and saddle bag furnirtre for the interiors? Not a bit of it. Live and let live, I say. Many a propertj feast hale I put on in my time. Tho public expects property feeds in the legitimate. Sit Macbeth down to a table and ask his guest to drink out of anything but empty goblets, or pre tend to do anything in the eating de partment except fool about with red cheeked apples before Banquo comes in, and the public would hiss the play off the stage. No, sir, they will not stand any desecration of Shakspeare, and I pity the Anrt Lady Macbeth who dares from the royal table to eat soup with a spoon. It would never do. The play-goer does not expect real food in a Shakspearean piece. He would ob ject to it as a desecration and a degra dation. He will permit no interference with the functions of the property mr- On the other hand, provide Mrs. Puffy with anything save an honest hot steaming meat pie for "The Streets of London." and the house would be wrecked.. .. - Yes, it is a discriminating public that I've worked for these three-and-thirty years. Old plays, property grub; new plays, real meat. There's the whole. thing in a nutshell. I know my limits, and how far I dare go. Lord bless me, I recollect a piece that was saved by pig's fry and onions. They fried 'em in a garret scene, and the gallery was so delighted with the homeliness of it that I believe they would have called on the pork merchant if they thought he was in the house. It touched 'em in.a tender part, and the nose is a ten der part. I declare to you the soothing sniffing that went on during the scene could not have been more so if they were playing "East Lynne." Christmas a busy time with me? Well, Ihave been hard at it for the last two months. Pantomimes are fast de stroyers of a man's natural rest, and what with everything at sixes and sevens, the manager roaming about like a bear with a sore head, the car penters so touchy you can't speak to 'em, and the scene painter soliloquizing all day long-generally before other people-the place is hardly fit for a decent man to live in. They expect me to have a hundred pairs of hands, like Brier-well, Brier something; no, no, not Bob Brierly, ge's in "The Ticket of Leave Man," and had five years; and the masks have got to be so heavy and horrid that the last time I took one home it frightened our youngest nipper into a fit. My room is more an old curiosity shop than anything else, and it's wearing to the feelings to descend from Adam's staff and the practicable deer in the forest of Arden, and King Lear's Jew els. and emblems, to come flop upon rows of grinning faces for robbers and palace guards and demon butchers. Fairy queens! Hang me if I know where they pick up those young wo men. I would rather fit out a Scotch army with claymores any day than pro vide a wand for a fairy queen. It is either too long or too short, too thick or too thin, too light or too .heavy; whereas, well I know it, the fact is these young women don't know how to carry 'em. I haven't been on the boards the best part of my life without knowing what a fairy queen ought to be, or what salary she draws. But the airs they give themselves are worse than the low comedian with most of the "fat" and a half share benefit in the last week of the run. Clowns? No. I don't say anything against clowns. I don't take to 'em, mind you, still I don't say anything against 'em. Har lequins I can't abide. Why have 'em, I say. Better any time put on a barle quina-which sustained the female in terest-instead of a fellow who has been playing a sprite or doing the con tortion business in the opening. Have I noticed it? Why, i was only saying as much to the missus the other night. He never is clean shaved. I am cer tain in my own mind there is that in the constitution of a harlequin that you cannot shave him properly. He never comes on with a clean face. I think spangles must have a bad effect on the skin and prevent the razor acting prop erly. You understand what it is to be put up with rather than wanted. That ac counts for harlequlins being such melan choly chaps. They know a pantomime can get along without 'em, and they never draw a sixpence into the treas ury, although the public likes to see 'em, and they give the clown time to fetch his wind. I was doing the prop erties in this very theater--I can show you the bill with my name on it-eight or nine seasons ago, and we had the most fidgety harlequin I ever met. My wordI It was as hard to make a frog jump as to induce that man to take the leps. You follow me .with the leaps? I mean the dives right through the back of the scene, when the clown and the pantaloon go chasing him. He ought to be:invisible, I know, for the sake of draatic unity; but you can't keep him invisible for the whole harlequinade, because the house gets tired of the make-believe, and the poor man has no chance after putting in the sailor's hornpipe with the columbine unless you allow him the dives. This chap was so nervous at rehearsals that it was a full ten minutes before he would look at a ump. Were we sure the men were there to catch him? Had they got the mattress all right? Were they strong enough to hold him? Were they sober? And a lot of rubbish of that sort. I have seen a few cab horses coaxed on for the wild untamed steed in "Mazeppa," and I'll take my oath they were per feet lions compared to that man. I fancy he must have been let down at some theater or other, and this made iirna you, ir you once got m to and on boxing night he went witho a hitch. And he could dance. Yes, must say that for him, although t most miserable ebap in private life ever knew. Seemed to have something ou I mind, which Is an awkward thing I a man with little on his body. Wh; Because there's no counter balance. never knew him to give any of o stage hands a pint of beer, and yet, they had turned nasty, they could ha played an ugly trick upon him a evening. His line of business need n have made him down in the dumj Far from it. Why. I remember a heal father -in our old "stock" for three four seasons who was so affable "of1 and cracked such jokes you might ha thought he did nothing but resc maidens in distress, and had a dout call at every performance. We could not have been running t panto for more than a week, and t harlequin-still melancholy-was jum ing in splendid style, yet every bit cautious about our men catching hij and evidently glad when the job w over. I recollect he had to do the div through a pawnbroker's shop windo reappear from the wings, rush on al Jump again, clown and pantaloon ma Ing a show of striking at him, but nev hitting him. Finally he bobbed 1 through a trap and posed with the c lumbine, just as the clown was bel: marched off by the policeman for tri] stealing. The jumping went with rare rattle and was one of the best fe tures in the harlequinade. On t] night I have in mind, the poor chi went through his work-including t hornpipe and a twirling trip with c lumbine-as well as he had ever doi it, until the scene I am telling y4 about came on. You see the pit eta] right behind the orchestra? Well, 1 was on the stage and flipping his wal before the chase commenced, when i of a sudden he catches sight -of a fa there, and looks as though he was goli to drop. I could see him turn pa under the rouge on his cheeks, and f a minute I fancied he was going to fi down. "Hulloal" thinksv I, "wha1 up?" Then on comes the clown, sin Ing out "Fatherl" to pantaloon. Th, catches sight of harlequin, and poin at him, and that was the cue for Spa gles to make his first leap through tj pawnbroker's window. I must say ] went at it like a bull at a china shop. The gallery applauded, and in half minute he should have come on aga to take the second jump. Clown w waiting with the poker to aim a ble at him,and pantaloon made ready pretend to be knocked over by his he( as he wezit through. The-band w pIaying a "hurry," and the two han, behind were on guard to catch hi Half a minute slipped by and no harl quin appeared. But the stage man ger commenced to-well, to say thinj and ran behind to see what was t) matter, wondering whether youl Spangles had slipped or lost his sh< or something. But devil a harlequ could he find. The audience began to hiss, and t clown, who was no good if he had wait to 1fil, was calling out: "No then, where are you-how mu onger?" , At the end of a anoth couple of minutes-though it seemed good deal more-the house was shot lng out nasty remarks and beginnli to make a row. So the stage manag hurries on the swell with the whi trousers for the clown to chivy abot The people hissed more than ever. Ble your heart! an audience always knov if there Is a screw loose, and we had duce of a Job to finish up the eveniL without a harlequin. Where was hi Ask me another. Nobody ever set ey on him from that day to this. It wi 'ls last leap in this town. We discovered afterward that he ha bolted clean out of the stage door in b war paint, run to his lodgings-th< were only into the next street-change his clothes, left the place in a quart of an hour and disappeared forev4 You see, the face he saw in the I stalls was the face of the wife he hi deserted four years before, leaving h with three children to bring up. I knew that she had tracked him at lai snu his leap was a leap for liberty. strange story? Lor', the world is fi of them. A startling what? I knc what you mnean, only you didn't pr nounce it properly. Yes, It was a stai ing denouement. I can excuse the po fellow now for being so melancho and nervous, but my opinion of harl quins in general is lower than ever. London Daily Telegraph. The Band Was Always There. A gentlemanly merchant traveler a railway carriage met a lady and 1: litely rendered her such assistance th~ she reciprocated by permitting him talk to'her. He became quite friend) and desired to know where she liv nd who she was. "Oh," she replied, "I'm only an < dinary little woman, but my frien persist in trying to make me son body." "Ah," was the gallant answer, "I a sure they act quite wisely and wi good taste." "You flatter me. sir, and yet I ha no doubt a band will meet me at t station when I arrive at Windsor." - "Indeed?" he replied, in open-ey astonishment. "Yes, and the same band always m< me, Isn't that flattering?" "Very, my dear miss; but may I a what band It Is that is always so h( ored? "Oh, yes, certainly; It is a husbani He caught on the arm of the seatf a minute and then went into the ne carriage and bumped his head duni the change.-Tid-Bits. Sudden wit is generally as much surprise to thes a horof it as t. an KEEPS A LIGHTHOUSE. ut. teirty Year. Harriet A. Colfax Has Tended the Michigan City Light. For over thirty years the warning sig.. nal in the shape of the Michigan City light, which has thrown its beams over the lake from Mich igan City, Ind., has been under the care Liz of a woman, who, if in fair or foul re ! - weather, during ail ly this time has never t once neglected the 6 s duty imposed on ry her in 1861, when, or 5A RRIET A. COLFAX through the influ euce of her cousin, Schuyler Colfax, e she was appointed lightkeeper at this ie port. At that time, says the Head le light, Miss Harriet A. Colfax was a pleasant faced young woman of 25, and alt her petite figure seemed peculiarly he unfitted for the position, but time has p. disproved this supposition, and the ver as dict Is now unanimous that a wiser n, :hoice could not have been made. as Miss Colfax Is a native of Ogdens es burg, N. Y., but as she migrated to w, Michigan in 1853 it is fair to say that id she Is a Western woman. She learned k. 0 ig A a MCHIGAN CrTY's LIGHTHOUSE. ie to set type in her brother's printing of id flee. Subsequently she taught music Ll and met and formed a sort of life part ce nership with her lifelong friend and Ig companion, Miss Ann Hartwell, at that I. tme a cheery little schoolma'am of ot Michigan City. For upwards of thirty LII years these little women have dwelt t's together In perfect harmony, their in g. tercourse being unmarred by a single ay cross word. Faithfully and fearlessly ts has Miss Colfax performed her duties, n- never oxfhe in all these years neglecting le them for a single night. Never has the tf Mlichigzn City light failed in its mis sion. She Is known in Indiana as a s second Ida Lewis and as the sailor'u in me friend. as w LOOKING BACKWARD. to to Or the Millionaire's Regrets for the Farm He Let Go for a Song. It was summertime. The office win. d lows were open. The old millionaire '. had come up to confer with his lawyer, and had been told he could now fore a- close his mortgage on a flpe and covet I'Qed corner for a song. He therefore felt a at peace with all the world, and he 18 wished that everybody might banish e uncharitable and sordid thoughts and a be of good cheer. He took off his hat Ind wiped his brow. "I am thinking of going out into the, a -ountry,' he said, speaking in a kind :one of that humble region. "I like the 3 ountry. We don't really know what er life is here. I often wish I were back. a had a farm before I came to town it a.bout 500 acres-as pretty land as ever' ig !aId outdoors-high, rolling, sandy er Loam; oh! fine pasture, plenty of woods te and running spring right ontheplace never went dry the dryest season, and ss magnificent orchard. I set out about vten acres all to grfted fruit before I a sold, and looked to seein' 'em bear-I, ig could have sold ev'ry bar'1 of apples for *2 right on the ground. e"But I sold-I sold. Yes, sir; I sold s.hat 500 acres,$80 an acre, and came aere and put every dollar into corners. C Of course, hitting it just the time I did, Si the mohey has turned itself a good ~'I many times; but I don't know; I often wish I hadn't sold the old farm. I er sold it to my brother-in-law for $S0 an r. acre. That was twenty years ago, and lit I don't suppose be could get $40 an acre rHere the silent repiner engaged in si le .eant thought of his brother-in-law tpoundh2g clods on the depreciated farm, A and became suffused with such Joy ill that, as he rose and put on his hat, hie w seemed like a statue of Ecstasy. "No," Ssir; I don't suppose he could get $40. -t- Fine farm, too."-Puck. or_____________ ly Abolishing Animal1 Prisons. e- Some of the extreme advocates of' - rindness to animals are evidently pre paring to enter upon a mission for the total abolition of menageries, zoological igardens, and other animal prisons. Ltesthat seem like little kites flown to see how the wind blows appear ever tjand anon in the newspapers, but the ygeneral public has not yet risen to them. e4 Still, the materials of a "movement" are still at hand if the leading fanatic )to guide them were only forthcoming. ds Extremists are always ready to ride e, an idea to death. To obtain mature wild creatures, whether two-legged or nfour-legged, is in general a piece of th cruelty that, besides much else, is per fectly useless, but that is not to say ,that the bird-catcher should be sup he pressed. A caged lion gives you a less accurate lesson in zoology than a good eo engraving would do, but there may be Iobjections to abolishing the zoological e I gardens for all that-Pall Mall Gazette, sk, Efrects of' Deep-Sea Pressure. a. It is not unusual for bottles of cham pagne to be dipped and trolled in salt iwater, when there is no Ice on ship-, or board, in order to get the wIne to a pal-' xt atable temperature, but never longI n enough to cause contact between the salt water and the wine. We can hard ly tell what the effect upon the wino would be If the bottle were immersed at a great depth for any considerable y time. It Is a fact, however, that if an! ordnar glass bottle, tightly cori-cdI and sealed, be &sniu in, say, aity iata ems of salt water and left there fo: about ten minutes, It may, whei brought to the surface, be found partl3 full of water. We say may, because the pressure of the superincumbeni mass of water will either force the water through the porous glass, force the cork into the bottle, or break the bottle. By a law of hydrostatics the pressure .)f water is in proportion to its vertical height and its area at the base. It 1 reckoned that the pressure of water or any body launzed into It Is about on pound to the square inch for every tw< feet of the depth. Bottles filled with fresh water, tightly corked and sealed have been sunk to great depths in the ocean, and where the enormous pres sure has not burst the bottles it hai driven in the cork and displaced the fresh with salt water. Pieces of wood have been weighted and sunk in the sea, with the result that the tissues have become so condensed that the wood lost its buoyancy and .will never float again. It could not even be burned when apparently quite dry. A BURGLAR'S CONFESSION. Women and Dogs Bother Him Morie than Nen Who Try to Shoot. A man signing his name "E. Ran. dolph Higginson, of Boston," who ad mits that he has been committing bur. glaries in Atchison of late, sends the following card of thanks to this office says the Atchison Globe: "Although my receipts in Atchisoi have been comparatively small, I would not have the citizens think me ungrateful, and hereby extend my thanks for what little I take away fron the town. My stay in your city has been pleasant, and I have been treated with such courtesy by the best people that I may return at.another time. I have enjoyed very much the visits Ie some of your homes, and my only regret is that I did nor have my wife along tc enjoy the fun. I regret to notice that Jim Waggener values the watch I took from his residence at $50. If he really paid this amount for the watch he was robbed and ought to crack down on the dealer who sold it to him. I tried to pawn the watch in St. Joe, but was only offered $2.75 for it. "It is a shame for a good citizen to be robbed in this manner. I was talk Ing to a policeman a few days ago who informed me that the ladies of Atchison do not bring flowers andpie and cake to prisoners in the county jaiL Ac. cordingly I gave the officers no oppor tunity to arrest and keep me In the county Jail for a time on suspicion. I don't know whether I ought to give away professional 7secrets or not, but will say that the gleaming dagger some claim to have seen me brandishing was really an icicle. During the twenty years I have been in the business I have never injured a human being. I have too much respect for the teachings of the Bible to do such a thing. I never have any trouble from the men, not withstanding their talk of shooting me full of holes. The only trouble I ever have is from screaming women and barking dogs. Before closing, I must say that the people should not censure :e too severely. They must remember that all the goods I take are second. anded." OLD LOUISIANA. [tin Interesting Capitol and Sturds Chief Executive. One of the historic State capitols of the United States is that at Baton Rouge, La. It was originally built in 1847. In 1862 it was :aptured by Feder .1 troops and whii? occupied by them as a prison was destroyed by 9 fire. It was rebuilt ~in 1880. Aside from it istoric associa tions, it is of inter est to visitors at - Baton Rogue on ac .count of its unique - '~ style of architec GOV. M. I. FOSTER. ture, whiCh differs from that of all other American capitol buildings. The Governor of Louisiana is Mur hy I. Foster. Foster is 46 years of age and is one of the ablest lawyers in the South. Hie was elected to the State Senate in 1880 amnd served continuously in that body until elected Governor In 1802. He led the anti-lottery fi;;ht andl was elected on that issue. Pocket Billiards. The pocket billiard is made of a mall box of white or green glass. On the inside, which is hermetically clos ed, Is found the spheric cue, composed of a drop of mercury, and the balls, POCKEFT BITLLARDS. which in this case are four dIsks of colored pasteboard. The aim of the game is to make the four disks drop in'to the four pocketi at he ends by means of the mercur.1 ball, without allowing a bit of the mer cury to get into the pockets. It requirei some adroitness to do this, and its ac complishment offers no little anmuss A Common Impression. Let us rid ourselves of' the imprea sion that one's belt is the measure o: TMAGINATION AlIDS SURGERY. iow a Woman Was Cured of Lanm. ness Which Did Not Exist. "Imagination is not to be sneezed at$ .aid a prominent surgeon to a Roches ter Democrat man the other day as his yes followed the brisk movements of & middle-aged woman who was passing. "Three years ago," said he, "that woman came to one of the hospitals of the city and engaged a private room. She drove to the Institution In a car riage and was carried to her bed on a stretcher. She insisted that one of her ankles was helpless and that she could not walk. The house surgeon made an examination and could not discover that she had the slightest ailment The next day the head surgeon looked hel Dver carefully and came to the same onclusion. What is more, being a some what brusque and outspoken. person, he said is much to her. At this she was very indignant and Insisted upon keeping her bed. No amount of persuas sion could induce her to make any ef, fort to walk, and she insisted that.hed ankle was helpless and so sensitive that the slightest touch of her foot to the grouad caused her the most acute pain "Finding all efforts to persuade her to do anything for herself fruitless, the surgical staff held a consultation and determined to humor her. Consequent ly the following day the woman was told that she was suffering from a seri ous ailment, and preparations for an operation were made with a great pa. rade of nurses, instruments and the like. The patient was then placed un der the influence of an anaesthetic and a slight incision was made over the an kle joint. This was merely superficial, although it was several inches In length. [t was immediately sewed up, carefully bandaged and the patient removed to her bed, where she found herself when ihe recovered consciousness. After this the was subjected to the same care :hat would be given to the most serious :ases for two weeks. The wound was dressed daily; the patient was enjoined to remain in one position and her diet was carefully prescribed. At the end Df this time the bandages were remov Rd, the stitches taken out, and a few days later the woman walked out of the hospital as well as you see her to day. There has never been the slight est thing the matter with her, but she thought there was, and the pretendeP ;peration satisfied her." ' Why He Had Pleny tO SelL - "For quickness of repartee commend me to an auctioneer," 'said a Maine traveler. "I once attendeif a salt where under the hammer things -en being rattled off at a great rate-and at low figures. In the crowd close to him stood a sedateold ma# who watch. ed the salesman In a very thoughtful mood for a long time. At last catch' Ing the eye of the auctioneer, he said: 'Say, sir, how is it you can' affotd-ta sell these things so cheap? Withoul an instant hesitation the salesman reached down and patted- him on the shoulder, while his face beamed like a rising sun. 'Bless your soul, air,' he answered, 'I have a father and three brothers, and I keep them stealing al the time to furnish .me goods.' Then the sale ran right alonig."-feWitOZ? Journla. AN AFRICARKtNG. !e Laughs Heartily at the First White Woman He Ever Sew. The following is an extract from i, etter, written by a French lady In Sen egal and published in a Paris news paper, referring to a visit to King-Be hanzin of Dahomey on board the Se gond: "The king, followed -by five 'ives and four cildren, of whom one s a handsome boy, then came forwrard mn a silk mantle striped with black and blue and elegantly draped- His head was bare, and he had on his feet san dals held on by crossed bands embroid ered in wools of many colors. He smok ed a large ebony pipe, the bowl and shank of which were circled with all ver. His French is limited to 'boa jour' and 'ami,' and I am the first white woman he ever saw, and the sight of me astonished him. He at first gazed at me, then roared with laughter, and, when he had laughed till he was tIred, ~looked around and asked where myl husband was. The interpreter having pointed him out, he took him by the shoulder and gave him a friendly shake, which was as much as to say, What a lucky fellow you are. One of the five wives cooks. The~othocrs stand around the 'deposed king. The young est has always in her hand a wooden bowl filled with sawdust. It is his spit toon. She is the favorite. The chil dren are very nice. Behanzin is elder ly, about 55, and has a white head of hair. He hardly knows how to walk because, on account of his rank, he ha slways been carried." Age Is a Great Teacher. .Tinks-I understand you were pretty well off before you were i .iried. Blinks-Yes; but I didn't know It. Illustrated Monthly. What Prevented Him.. "I can tell you, baron, that when my ffer of marriage was refected by the prima donna I was so miserable that 1 was on the point of throwing myself >ut of the window." "What prevented you?" "The height."-Karlsbaden Woche& iatt. Truthful Bridget. Caler-Is Miss -Iveson at hiome? Grl-Yis, sur, she Is; but Mileher Robinson's here, too, sur, an' he seems right well at home, too, an' I don't now at all whether she'll be seein' yo