Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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TRI-WEFKLY EDITION. WINNSBORO, S. C., MARCH 16,1895. REV. DR TAIM .R THE BROOKLYN DIVINE*S SUY' DAY SERMON. Subject: "The Glorious Gospel." Tzr. "According to the glorious gospel of the blessed God. which was committed to my trust."-I Timothy L., 11. The greatest novelty of our time is the gos peL It is so old that It is new. As potters and artists are now attempting to fasbion pi+ahers and cups an:1 ourious ware like those of 1900 years ago recently brought up from buried Pompeii, and such cups and ptchers and curious ware are universally admired, so anyone who can unshovel the real gospel from the mountains of stuff un der which it has been buried will be able to present something tha. will attract the gaze and admiration and idoption of all the peo ple. It is amazing -what substitutes have been presented for what my text calls "the glorious gospel." There has been a hemi spherie apostasy. There are many people in this and all other large assemblages whc. have no more idea of what the gosp realy is than they have of what is contained in the fourteenth chapter of Zend-Avesta, the Bible of the Hindoo, the firt copy of which I ever saw I purchased in Oalcutta last September. The old gospel Ls fifty feet udwr aid the work has been done by theshovels o. those who have been trying to contrive the philosophy of religion. There is no philosophy about It. It is a plain matter of Bible sAtement and of childlike faith! Same of the theological seminaries have been botbeds of infidelity because they have tried to teach the "philosophy of reli gion." By the time that many a young theological student gets half through his e ry course he is so filled with ts about plenary inspection. and the iinity of Christ, and the questions of eternal destiny, that he is more fit for the lowest bench in the Infant class of a Sunday-school than to become a teacher and leader of the people. The ablest theo logical professor Is a Christian mother, who out other own experience can tell the four year-old how beautiful Christ was on earth and how beautiful He now is In heaven, and how dearly He loves little folks, and then she kneels down and puts one arm around the boy, and with her somiwhat faded cheek against the roseate cheek of the little one conseerstes him for time and eternity to Him who said, "Suffer them to come unto Me0" What an awful work Paul made with the D. D.'s. and the LL.D.'s, and the F. R. Si's when he cleared the decks of the old gospel ship by saying, "Not many wise men, not many noble, are called, but God hath chosen the weak thing of the world to confound the mighty." There sits the dear old theologian with h's tablepiled up with all the great books on in spimoon and exegesis and apologetics for the Almighty and writing out hIs own elab orate work on the philosophy of religion, and his little grandchild coming un to him for a good night kiss he accidentally knocks o0i the biggest book from the table, and it faUs on the head of the child, of whom Christ Him self said, "Oat of the mouths of babes and sucklings thou hast perfected praise." Ah, my friends, the Bible wants no apologetics. Tae throne of the last judgment wants no apologetics. Eternity wants no apologe "s. Scientists may tell us that natural light is the "propagation of undulationsin an elastic medium, and thus set in vibratory motion by the action of luminous bodies." ~but -uuj.-f~5-w~blndeye ythe touch of the Divine Spirit have opened to see the noonday of pardon and peace. Scien tists may tell us that natural sound Is "the effect o1 an impression made' on the organs of hearing by an impulse of the air, caused by a collision of bodies, or by other means," but those only know what the gospel sound is who have heard the voice of Christ direct ly, saying: "Thy sins are forgiven thee. Go in ace." The theological dude unrolls upon e plush of the exquisitely carved pul pit a learned discourse showing that the - garden of Eden was an allegory, and Solo mon's .ong a rather indelicate love ditty, and the book of Job a dcana in which satan was C'e star actor, and that Rena was three quarters right about miracles of yesus, and that the Bible was gradually evoluted and the best thought of the different ages, Moses and David and Paul doing the best they could under the circamstances, and therefore to be -encouraged. *-Lord of heaven and earth, get us out of the London fog of higher criticism!. The night is dark, and the way is rough, and we have a hatern which God has put-im our hande, but instead of employing that lantern to show ourselves and others the right way we are discussing lanterns, their shape their size, their material, and which is the btter light-erosene, lamp oil or can dle-and while we discuss it we stand all around the lantern, so that we shut out the light from the multitudes who are stumblings on the dark mountains of sin and death. Twelve hundred dead birds were found one morning around Bart'ioldi's statue in New York Harbor. They had dashed their liue out against the lighthouse the night before. B Poor things ! And the great lighthouse of the gospel--how many high soaring thinkers have beaten all their religious life out p against it, while it was intended for only one thing and that to show all Nations the way lato the harbor of Gbd's mercy an to the crystalline wharves of the heavenly city, where the immortals are waiting for new arrivals. Dead skylarks, when they might have been flying seraphs.. Here also come', covering up the, old gos pel, some who think they can by law and ex of crimes save the world, and from ortland, Me., across to San Francisco, and base agmain to New Orleans and Savannah, teeivebuines.Worldly reform by all mean butunlss i bealso gospel reform it il'beded filre.InNew York its chief wor ha ben t gie u achange of bosses. We ad Deoctai bosand now it is to peaR ubia osbut the quarrel is, Who shal be the Repuf~licn Poic wl save the cities the same day that satan evan gelizes rdion. -The ' rous gospel of the blesse d God as mnoken of in my text will have more drawing powar' and when that gospel gets full swing it will have a momentum and a power mightier than that of the Atlantie Ocean when under the force of the September equi nox It strikes the Highlands of the Navesink. E'he maningE of the word "gospel" is "good news," and my text says It is glorious good news, and we must tell it in our churches, and-over our dry goods counters, and in our tetories. and over our threshing machines, and behind our plows, and on our ships' liecks, and in our parlors, our nurseries and Witchens,asthoughit were glorious good news, and not with a dismal drawl In our voice, and a dismal look on our faces, as though re ligion was a rheumatic twinge, or a dyspep tie pang, or a malarial chill, or an attack of nervous prostration. With nine "blesseds" or "bappiys," Christ began His sermon on the mount-blessed the poor; blessed the mourner; blessed the meek; blessed the hun ~; blessed the merciful; blessed the pure; 1se the peacemakers; blessed the perse outed; blessed the reviled; blessed, blessed, blessed; happy, happy, ,happy. Glorious g~dnews for the young as through Christ thymay have their coming years ennobled, adfor a lifetime all tbe angels of God their ooadjutors, and all the armies of heaven their allies. Glorious. good news for the mtdio agedi as througnl Christ they may have their perplexities disentanlgled,and their courage rallie:d, and their victory over all obstacles and hindrances made forever sure. Glorious good news for the aged as they may have the sympathy of Him of whom St. John wrote, "His head and His hairs were white like wool, as white as snow," and the de fense of the e'rerlasting arms. Giorious'good news for the dyIng as they may have mnis Lering spirs to ecort them, and onenini gates to receive thew, and a sweep of eternal glories to encirelethem, aud the welcome of a toving God to enbosom them. Oh, my text is right when it speaks of the glorious gospel. It is an invitation from the most radiant Beini that e .*w'r trad the earth or asend!ec ts heaven5. to you and me co come and be made happy, and t.,en t&eo ar ter that a royal catc for everlasting resl dence. the angels of God our cup bearers. The price paid for all of this on the clif of limestone about a, high as this house about seven minutes' walk from the wall of ierusa lem, where with an agony that with one hand tore down the rocks, and with the other drew a midnight bickness over the heavens, our Lord set us forever free. Making no apology for any one of the million sins of our life, but confessing all of them, we can point to that cliff of limestone and say. "There was paid our indebtedness, and God never col lcts a bill twice." Glad am I that aU the Christian poets have exerted their pen in ex tolling the matchless one of this gospel. Isaac Watts, how do you feel concermng Him? And he writes. "I. am not ashamed to own my Lord." Newton what do you think of this gospel? And he writes, "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound!" Cowper, what .o you think of Him? And the answer comes, "There Is a fountain filled with blood." Charles Wesley, what do you think of Him' And he answers, "Jesus, lover of my soul." Horatius Bonar. what do you think of Him? And he responds, "I lay my sins on Jesus." Bay Palmer, what do you think of Him? And he writes, 'My faith looks up to Thee." Fannie Crosby, what do you think of Him? And she writes, "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine." But I take higher testimony: Solo mon, what do you think of Him? And the answer is, "Lily of the valley." Ezekiel, what do you think of Him? And the answer Is, "Plant of renown." David, what do you think of Him? And the answeris, "My shep herd.", SL John, what do you think of Him? And the answer is, "Bright and morning star." St. Paul, what do you think of Him? And the answer comes, "Christ is all in alL" Do you think as well of Him, 0 man, 0 wo man of the blood bought immortal spirit? Yes, Paul was right when he styled it "the glorious gospel." And then as a druggist, while you are waiting for him to make up the doctor's prescription, puts into a bottle so many grains of this, and so many grains of that, and so many drops of this, and so many drops of that, and the intermixture taken, though sour or bitter, restores to health. So Christ the Divine Physician, prepares this trouble of our lifetime, and that disap pointment, and this persecution, and that ardship, and that tear, and we must take the intermixture, yet though It be a bitter draft. Under the divine prescription it ad ministers to our restoration and spiritual health. "all things working together for God." Glorious gospell And then the royal castle into which we step out of this life without so much as soil ing our foot with the upturned earth of the grave. "They shall reign forever." Does not that mean that you are, if saved, to be kings and queens, and do not kings and queens have e astles? Bat the one that you are offered was for thirty-three years an abandoned castle, though now gloriously in. abited. There is an abandoned royal castle at Amber, India. One hundred and seventy years ago a king moved out of it never to return. But the castle still stands in inde scribable grandeur, and you go through brazen doorway after brazen doorway, and carved room after carved room. and under embellished ceiling af ter embellished ceiling, and through halls precious stoned into wider halls. prec ous stoned, and on that hill are pavilions. deeply dyed and tasseled and arched, the fire o-ooored b.rydens-.ool b the-snow o. natural to life that while you cannot hear their voices you imagine you see the flutter .of their wings while you are passing; walls pictured with triumphal procession; rooms that were called "Alcove of Light" and Hall of Victory;" marble, white and black, like a mi:Cure of morn and night; alabaster, and mother of pearl, and lacquer work. Standing before it the eye climbs from step to latticed balcony, and from latticed bal '.ny to oriel, and from oriel to arch, and from arch to roof, and then descends on lad der of all colors, and by stairs of perfe;t lines to tropical gardens of pomegranate and pineapple. Seven stories of resplendent architecture ! But the royal castle provided for you, If you will only take it on the pre sribed terms, is grander than all that; and, though an abandoned eastle while Christ was here, achieving your r:'demption, is again oc cpied by the "chief amuong ten thousand," and some of your own kindired who have gone up and waiting for you are leanng from the balcony. The windows of that eaqtle look off on the Kings gardens 'a here immortals walk linked in eternal friend ship, and the banqueting hail of that castle has princes and princesses at the table, and the wine is "the new wine of the kingdom." and the supper is the rmarriage supper of the Lamb, and there are founta'ns into which no tear ever fell, and there is music that trem bles with no grief, and the light that falls upon that scene is never beelouded. and there is the kiss of these reunited after long sepa ration. More nerve will we have there than now, or we would swoon away under the raptures. Stronger vision wiln we have there tan now, or our eyesight would be blin'led by the brilliance. Stronger ear will we have tiere than now, or under the roll of that minstrelsy, and the clapping of that accla mation, and the boom of that halleluiah we ould be defeated. Glorious gospel! You thought relIgIon was a straitjacket; that it put you on the limits; that thereafter you must go cowed down. No, no, no! It is to be eastellated. By the deansing power of the shed blood of Golgotha set your faces toward the shining pinnacles. Oh, it does not matter much what becomes of us here-for at the longest our stay is short-If we can only land there. You see there are so many I do want to meet there. Joshua, my favorIte, prophet, and John among the evangelists, and P'aul among the apostles, and Wyclif among the martyrs, and Bourdaloue among the preach e, and Dante among the poets, and Havelock among the heroes, and our loved ones whom we have so much missed since they left us so many darlings of the heart, their absence sometimes almost unbearable, and, mentioned In this sentence last of all because I want the thought climac teric, our blessed Lord, wIthout whom we could never reach the old castle at all. Hie took our place. He purchased our ransom. He wept our woes. He suffered our stri-pe. He died our death. He assured our resurrec tion. Blessed he His glorious name forever! Surging to His ear be all the athemns! Facing HIm be all the thrones! Oh, I want to see It, and I will see It-the day of His coronation. On a throne already. Methinks the day will come when in some great hall of eternity all the Nations of earth whom He had conquered by His grace will assemble again to crown Him, Wide and high and Immense and upholstered as with the sunrise and sunsets of 1000 years, great audience room of heaven. Like the leaves of an Adirondack forest the ransomed multi tudes, and Christ standing on a high place surrounded by worshipers and subiects. Theut eall come out of tne farthest past led on by the prophets; they shall come out of the early gospel days led on Dy the apostles; they shall came out of the centuries still ahead of us led on by champions of the truth, heroes and heroines yet to be born. And then fromi" that vastest audience evet assembled in all the universe there will go up the shout: "Crown Him! Crown Him! Crowr IHim!" and the Father who long ago p rom ised this His only begotten Son, "I will give Thee the heathen for Thine inheritance and the uttermost parts of the earth for Thy pos. session," shall set the crown upon the tore head yet scarred with crucifixion bramble, and all the hosts of heaven, down ofd the levels and up in the galleries will drop on their knees, crying: "Hall, jing of earth! King of heaven! King of saints! King o seraphs! Thy kingdom is an everlasting kingdom, and to Thy~ dominions there shall be no end! Amen and amen! Amen and anen.1" "DERELICTS." BA YNDOND VESSELS Dr!FTING UF? THE ATLANTIC CUAST. 9anzers to Navigation-Strange anJ Weird Stories of Their Ob.ject less Voyages-Burning For a Year. D- UmNG the lest fire rears 95G vessels were wrecked on the Atlantic coast of North . America. In the same region and period 957 derelicts-i. e., floating and abandoned craft--were reported. The worst derelicts are coal-laden and lumber-laden ships. The latter float the longest, while the former are particularly dangerous because they ire so heavy and solid. The average lerelict floats thirty days. Two years ago the Navy Depart .nent sent the Yantic to destroy twelve wrecks which lay along the Atlantic coast. She found them all and blew them into kindling wood. The usual method is to approach a water-logged hulk in a steam launch, drop over the itump of a mast a hoop of iron with :orpedoes attached and then fire the iorpedoes from a safe distance by 'lectricity. The North Atlantic is the chosen irifting ground of such floating perils. rimber traders bound from this coast to Europe encounter cyclones on the way and are deserted by dozens. The ressels used in that traffic are com nonly of an antiquated type and so :otten that only good luck keeps them yn top of the water. Happy are the :rews to be taken off when they meet with disaster, before they are drowned >r forced to cannibalism, as in the ase of the Thekla, of Philadelphia eported a few months ago. Now and then it happens that some yody finds a delelict with a valuable :argo and tows her into port, netting t large sum in salvage. The most re narkable instance of this sort was that >f a British ship called the Resolute, hich was one of three vessels sent to ind Sir John Franklin. During the inter of 1851 she was nipped in the ce of Melville Bay-the great sheet >f water crossed the other day by Peary-and was abandoned. Four rears later she was found by a New ngland whaler, frozen in a floe and ractically uninjured. She was brought to New London and Congress bought her for $200,000 from tie salvors. Ater being. thoroughly repaired she was sent to England as a gift and okea of amity to her Majesty. Years ter, when she was finally condemned a broken u4, the Queen had a desk >resent to the President of the United states. Mr. Cleveland uses it for his vork every day at ihe White House. When a ship strikes a derelict the ccurrence is r.ot reported, usually, because no witnesses are left alive to tell the tale. But there have been cases where ressels have hal the lIch to hit such hulks and to escape de truction. Only last year the deserted "Fred B. Taylor" was cut squarely I in two by the North German Lloyd teamship "Trave." For many monthq he bow and stern of the abndonedi raft floated about separately inl the rack of commerce, thie former pre enting an extraLordinlary appearance .ith bowsprit standing almost perpen iular. Thus two derelicts were miade :ut of one. In April, 1889, the steamer "Cuban," of Liverpool, ran into ai ater-logged hulk, cutting into it I ~hirten feet. Happily, she escaped sith small damage. More than three-fourths of all dere its along the Atlantic coast of the United States are created by storms off Cape Hatteras, and from that neigh borhood most of them start on the ir strange and objectless voyage. Usually they drift eastward until they get about half way across the ocean, when they pause and swing aimlessly about in circles. Out in the middle of the wide seas it is everybody's business to destroy them, and the-refore nobody's. So they float about until they sink. Many 'of them find their way into the Sargasso Sea, which has been described as a "graveyard of ships." That vast field of growing marine plants, in which many queer species of fishes and other animals dwell, lies in a sort of ddy made by the great revolving ocean current. Finling their way in to this vortex, the wrecks go round and round until they no longer have suficient buoyancy to keep them on 'he surface. Then they disappear. Nobody can tell how many of the great numbers of good ships which have sailed away, never to be heard from again, have been victims of dere lits. For several months during the early part of this year an abanloded hulk cailled the Agnes Manning lay in Ithe very track of the trans-oceanic ayers. She was a four-masted schooner from Philadelphia carrying 940 tons of coal. On February 25th she was deserted with her masts standing and sails furled. Her crew was rescued, but the floating ves. '1 remained a menace to thousands of lives. There would have been very little hope f-r the strongest steamship that struck such an object. An extr - rdinary instance of the urning of a vessel was that of the da Iredale, bound from Scotland to San Francisco with a cargo of coal. She was abandoned in October, 18S6, nearly 2000 railes east of the Mairque sas Islands. Her ci-ew took to the boats and succeeded in reaching the Maruesas. Meanwhile the wreck. still burning, drifted westward in the equatorial current to Tahiti, a distance of 4223 miles. Finally she was towed into port and her cargo continued to smoulder for more than a year. How ever, she was repaired eventually and is nw egage inthe hin tr d On. January Utn, 18w2, thne Co lombo D, not far from Bermuda, sav n vessel three miles over the starboard Dow. ThEi' stranger was a three-mas ter, square rigged. When signaleo she returned no answer. She seemed to be steering erratically, with all srtils set. She was approached so close that the name on her stern, "Hutch ins Bros., Nova Scotia," was easily read, but there was no sign of life on her deck. The superstitious sailor; refused to board her, thinking tha'I there was something uncanny about her. The Colombo D stayed by all night, the skipper desiring to investi gate the mystery, but in the morning, though it had been almost dead calm, the three-master had vanished fron the face of the ocean. The crew of tht Colombo D were terrified, believina that they had seen the phantom ship' and they thought they would nevel roach port alive. However, they got to land all right and learned that ths "Hutchins Bros." had been deserted when about to sink. by her men, whc were picked up. The case was quite similar to the celebrated one of th4 Mary Celeste, which was found in the Mediterranean undeir full sail without a soul on board, though nothing ap. parently was the matter with her and the fire in the galley stove was lighted. That mystery was never solved. ThE vessel was towed into Genoa and was scuttled years afterward in the Gulf o Mexico for the insurance. The drifts of some of these derelicts are astonishing. One of the most re markable was that of the schooner W. L. White, abandoned.in the great bliz zard of 1888. Her track formed a picturesque feature if the pilot charts for many months. TFrom March to Ndvember she was reported by thirty six vessels. In a ciise of ten months she traversed a disilce of more than 5000 miles, eventa gigoing ashore on one of the Hebride& The American schooner Wyer G.. Sargeant drifted about the ocean fAtwo years, cover ing 5500 miles. Shias loaded with $20,000 worth of mahogany. She was sighted thirty-four ties and traversed the whole Atlantic,, fi the west to the east coast and .f r e Azores to Newfoundland.- mhington Star. A Rattler oxr His Breast. C. L. McCloud, ;Ahes drnmer ot Portsmouth, Ohi sva recently the guest of Mr. Harry Biggs, son of the. proprietor of the Biggs House, at his 1 Kentucky home, '4ar Tygart Creek. Ee took with hinrliis gun and fine horoughbred Iri.a setter, Frank T was a fortunat4 "to that caused hinr to ife One3 -j o fl lana" ggs strolled over to the woods near Tygart Creek for a shot at a squirrel. The dog wa ( tied up at the house. They had been in the woods some time, when young Biggs had occasion to return to the house for something- McCloud went ap a ravine to a shady nook, where he ay down to sleep. - How long he slept he can't say, bu( the terror of his awakening was be yond description. He awakened with the consciousness of some weight upon hIs breast, and, before he saw what it cas, his nostrils were assailed by a pedliar odor. Glancing down (he was ing on his back), the sight which met his eyes well nigh petrified him. There coiled on his breast was a full rown rattlesnake. It was sleeping ecefully, and for some time, which seemed a.4es to the horrified man, he was almost afraid to breath lest he should awaken the coiled death on his boom!. Th"sently Biggs returned and his footsteps awakened th3 reptile, which w as instantly head and tail ereel awaiting the attack. Biggs at once saw the horror of the situation, but was at a loss what to do. He feared to fire lest he might shoot his com panion, and he also feared that if he didn't kill the snake instantly it would dash its fangs into the prostrate man. While both men were thus stupefied with fear the bushes again parted and .mother actor was on the scene. I was she nobie dog. He at once sav his master's peril, And crouching al most on the ground, he slowly crept toward the snake. The- latter watchec ~very more of the dog, as if it knew the duel was to the death. On cameQ the dog, creeping slowly as a snail, then, when within fire feet, with one leap of almost lightning-like rapidity he was on the snake. The bound was so sudden that the snake had no time to strike, and before the two men could realize what had happened the reptile was torn in shreds. The two men took the dog to the creek and thoroughly wrc~hed his month, and, to their joy, found no scratches. After the excitement had passed, McCloud Isank in a faint, andl was just able to get home. The dog, in his eagerness to follow his master, had broken his fastenings. It can be easily guessed that no money could buy the dog now. -St. Louis Republic. BIg Ytumber Combine. The lumber mnanufacturers of thA East an-i North and the forest owners of the same sec tons met in Bloston, Mass., and organized the. Northeastern Lumbermen's Association. Those present represented over 575,000.000 invested in forest lands, saw-mills, wood working manufactories and the manufacture of lumber generally. nt 51asn't Appa:ent. "Do you call this spring chickei'' said the diner to the waiter after sev cral efforts to detach J'ortions C, the tissue with knife and fork. "Yes, sah! Dat's spring chicken for sure. sah." "Then the patent cn the spring must have expired."-its burgh Chronicle. Farmer Jones-Thar', now. reckot, tbet'il fix her. Hleerd thet new boarder complainlin' o' his rheumaitic Itire, but she'll be all right now: thet 'suf was never knowed ter fail. H UKOR OF THE DAY. Ruled off-Ledgers. A tweed garment-A sac coat. "Get off the earth," the cyclone said to the barn. A nervous affection-A man on the eve of proposal. The crawfish is not very good to cat, but it will do at a pinch. -Truth. One characteristic of good old Elijah was his raven-ous appetite. -Cleveland Plaia Dealer. London's constant fog may be caused by the continuous reign. Dallas News. The fine wheat will insure the farmer and the English sparrow full crops. Cleveland Plain Dealer. People who are always scheming generally pay about double for what they get.-Milwaukee Journal. When a man is dressed in a little brief authority, he makes it more con spicuous than a red neck-tie.-Puck. So far no one has ever iade the blunder of painting a Cupid to look as if he had any sense.-Atchison Globe. "Why does Snagsby keep his hair cut so short?" "Because he's getting bald, and he won't have it long. " Philadelphia Record. "He says he owes you a licking, loes he? Well, you'll never -get it." "How do you know?" "I'm his tailor. "-Chicago Tribune. "He's a very modest young man, isn't he?" "Modest as a burglar; he loesn't even want the credit of his own work. "-Philadelphia Record. An enterp'rising hosier has an ounced a new button, which he calls he Old Maid's Wedding. Why? Be ause it never comes off.-Tit-Bits. The coalman's season may be the winter, the summer the iceman's harv st, so that it's possible the milkman inds his greatest profit in the spring. Shall I from her sweet spell depart, Or take her for better or worse? The choice is-will she break my heart, Or shall she break my purse? -Puck. Demonstrator in Natural Science "Gentlemen, I hold in my hand three ihells." Ybice (from amphitheatre) It isn't-under any of them."-Detroit Free Press. Watts-"I wonder how this world vil get along when you and I have eft it?" Potts-"You'd better be wondering how we'll get along?"-In lianapolis Journal. Pipkin-"Does your wife know Field's Washington. "Hello, Bingley, how did the doctor mceed in breaking up your fever?" "Oh, easy enough; he presented his >ill, and I had a chill in fifteen mm ites. "--Chicago Inter-Ocean. "Can I get this note shaved?" he timidly asked the money-lender. "Gracious!" ejaculated the broker, as e glanced at the date, "it's old enough o need it !"-Atlanta Constitution. Unless old words can be exchanged for the new ones that are being rapidly ined, English dictionaries will-soon have to be taken to a cotton compress to be rendered portable.-DallasNews. Applicant for Work- "But the oc eupation seems to be a dangerous one." Manager-"Yes; but then in ease you are killed the company would send flowers to your funeraL" -Boston Transcript. Richard-"Whenl my wife agreed to share her lot with me I didn't know there was a mortgage on it." Harry - "A mortgage?" Richard- "Her mother. I found, went with the lot." -Boston Transcript. A fellow in Smithville who couldn't spare $2 a year for a newspaper sent fifty two-cent stamps to a down-east Yankee to know how to raise beets. He got an answer, "Take hold of the tops and pull for all you are worth.' - Oswego Times. ')h, the gold is rolling in From beyond the briny so'" Millions rolling in each day. Bringing us financial ease ; Millions more are on the way. Rolling onward to this goal, And as we are none too flush, Why, we'll just let her roll ! -Eansas City Journal. Wan ted the Other Bellows Mended. The finO organ which Edward J. Sarles is about to give Grace Chnurcl in San Francisco, as a memorial t( is late wife, is rather a more expensive gift .than Mrs. Jiopkins Searles would perhaps have beer willing to make to her old house of worship. Once before her mnarriage to Mr. Searles a vestrymian of the church asked her if she would not fur nish the funds for a new organ, but she declined to do so. "But our organ is so old that it is a continual expense," urged the persist ent vestryman. "It is always out 01 repair." "I'll pay you liberally if you'll have the bellows in the pulpit mended,' replied the feminine Croesus, whosE admiration of the rector. the Rev. Dr. Foute, was not excessive. At the Top of His Profesion. "What did the doctor say was th4 'natter with you ?" "He said he didn't know." "Well, what doctor are you going t< next?" "None. When a doctor dares to mak4 such an admission as that he must be about as high in the profe'ssion as he an get."-Indianapolis JournaL. The older a man is when he gets mar red the soou er he commences taking his lunch at noon downtown.- Atchiso. lnhbe-. HOW A TARIFF DEBATE SEEMS. Senator Stanford's Little Story to n1, lustrate Its Length. The late Senator Stanford used to tell a good story to illustrate the wear# ness felt at the eternal prolongation of debate on the tariff, which is repro4 duced by the Washington Star. "We had," he said, "a Quaker neighi bor when I was a boy up among thei stony hills of Albany County, Newi York, and he kept everything in apple4 pie order around his place. His pride was his stone barn, next to that hI house and other small buildings, an then his splendid stone walls aroun every lot on the farm, which was a large one. All this stone came off his place. Every spring his boys were pul to work early with the cattle and the stone boat, hauling rock either foi fence or for some building. One yea the old fellow decided to build a new, and larger spring house for his milk, and the boys and cattle went to work hauling stone for it. "One day Cephas, the oldest boy, came in to say that they'd got stone enough hauled for the new spring house. "The old man put on his hat and went out to see. "'Thee thinks that 4s enough, Ce phas?' he said, as his gray eyes slowly wandered over the huge pile of rocks tue boys had got together. "'Yes, father,' said Cephas. "'Well, my son,' replied the old man, 'thee is mistaken. Thee has not anyi thing like enough. I'll tell thee how tq kn6w when thee has enough stone foi any building." "The boys all gathered around hil "'It is this way, my lads. Theenu haul and haul until thee thinks thee ixal twice as many as thee thinks enough. Then thee should turn in and haul asi many more. Then thee may know pre, cisely where thee stands. Thee will then have just enough stone hauled for the building."' V 'Dangerous. "Look at these bottles," said a well known druggist; "do you notiee any thing peculiar about them?" He pointed to an assortment of bot tles that were about to be packed up for a customer. Each one bore a label marked in plain letters "Poison." There were also death's heads and crossbones beneath the labels. The bottles were of all sizes and sorts. - "What does it mean? Wholesale' suicide-hey?" "Not byany means, Those are the toilet essences of a young-woman of are prescriptions ammonia,tt we must mark them so that in case a juvenile in the fam-, Ily should drink of their contents a coroner's jury would exonerate us. See?" "Alas," murmured the other man as he gazed on the deadly assortment, "to this complexion have we come at last!" and he gave an inward thanksgiving that he was'still a bachelor. Perpetual lce in Virginia. ,t was not long ago reported that a -.atural Icehouse on a grand scale had ben :liscovered under singular circum, stances on the north side of Stone Mountain, sIx miles from the mouth of Stony Creek. in Scott County, Vir ginia. As the story goes, it appears that one of the old settlers first discov ered it abouts1880, but owing to the fact that the land on which It was situ ated could not be bought he refused to tell its whereabouts and would only take ice from it in case of sickness. He, died without revealing the secret tot even his own family, and but for a, party of seng diggers entering the re, gion it might have remained a secret for generations, as it is situated in an unfrequented part of the mountain. The ice was only protected from the rays of the sun by a thick growth of moss, resembling that seen dangling from the oaks of Louisiana and Texas. Its formation was after the fashion of a coal vein, being a few inches thick in some places, while several feet in others. The formation indicates that It had been spread over the surface in a liquid state and then congealed. By what process it freezes or was frozen is a matter of conjecture. Some thinli1 that it was formed in the winter and, had been protected since by a dense growth of moss which covers it, while he more plausible theory is that be neath the bed Is situated a gr'eat na tural laboratory whose function is a, formation of ether, and the process of, freezing goes steadily on through the heat as well as the cold. The bed covers -ne acre.-Brooklyn Eagle. He Answered IHer Quesion. An elevator in a downtown building stopped running for a few minutes the other day. The usual impatient crowd soon formed at the door. Each arrival shot a question at the attendant, who uniformly answered: "Not running; am waiting for orders; I don't know how long before we start up." Then came a- bustling woman. "Not running, madam," said the at tendant. "Hlow long must we walt? I'm in a hurry." "I don't know;'.ntil I get orders from the engineer." The woman looked at each person In the crowd. Evidently she wanted to ask why they were all standing around, if there was no prospect of the elevator resuming, and finally she said to the at tendant: "Well, what are you waiting for?" "Orders, madam," replied the eleva tor man. There was laughter all around, and 1the woman disappeared.-New York Hrald. -- -a A squabble over a $10,000 estate in which one ardent squabbler Is repre sented by six lawyers Is a peeulli San Francisco instance of a fght for principle. Surely the most hopeful liti gant would expect to get nothing more than the glory of winning the case and the fun of seeing the lawyers fight for the money. It affords genuine pleasure to learn that there are parts of the country uni affected by the present financial and Industrial depressioi. The following, taken from a trustworthy contempr. ary In Georgia, may be cosildered as authentic: "Reports from- various counties In the State show that farmers and residents generally. bavi. little to complain of this winter. While the season has been unusuallyosevere and the State has not escaped je depres sion common to the whole cOpntry, yet nobody Is suffering from I hunger. There Is plenty of hominy and corn, and Georgia hogs hpre not been fatter since we can remember." Hunger In Georgia! Appetites going unappeased with hominy, corn and hog in plentyl What Is more succulent than -honilny cake? Nothing in the whole art of cookery, lest It be corn dodgers and hog; or, what is more likely, hoecake, with a piece of Georgia bacon along side. Who, we ask of titled chefs, - would order cinci, or henriettes, or crullers, when he could have hoecake, atted by Mammy's hand and fried on A griddle lubricated with the fat of a Georgia shote? We are assured on un impeachable authority that thke Hon. HEoke Smith discusses each morning be fore going to the department of the in terior six steaming hoecakes and a goodly portion of a hog of unbroken Georgia lineage. And every Georgia poet nibbles reflectively at snowy hom iny cakes as he weaves his' rhymes. Glorious Georgia! Happy, contented, well-fed Georgians! Though the world be troubled with famine, pestilence and bond issues, there is plenty ofCorn and hominy on hi. Id, and the hogs have not been fatter iAnce we can remember. Hog and hom, ay for one! Make it two Muniotpal Pawnshops. rhe movement for state regulation pawnshops received its great Impetus 'rom Savonarola, who liberated the Elorentines from opprsion ' iidgve them popular institutIons, ikigh Uis instrumentality they werm wtab ished In the principal towns:qItaly, knd spread throughout M founded that et %sco Piquer,.foundd the Mt-e Iete of Madrid. In 1705, starting wIth the modest capital of fave pen.c wheh e found. in the offertory box he bad placed in the church to receiveoatr butions for the insttution, md of the seventeenth century there were monts de plete, formed more Or ess after the Italan model, In most .ountries of Europe. The hMara6tet stics of the original institutlons re main with those of to-day,.~altou %ey have long since ceased to bezade the influence of the churces,. Ihe dain object, which Savonarcla and ether early founders had in View--the protection of the poor from usaurere and their relief in periods of daw Is still maintained, and ti moats de pete in all Latin countdies area :ated with public charities and haip She Learned Different1?. Vicar (severely, to his cook)-fary, you bad a soldier to supper last night. Cook-Yes. sii-; he's my brother. Vicar-But you told me you had ne brother. Cook-So I thought, sir, ntil ioa preached last Sunday and told us we were all brothers and sistess.---OBadon rit-Bits.__________ Something Subtle. 'Tve been pondering over a very sin gular thing." "What is it?" 'How putting a ring on a woman's third finger should place you under that woman's thumb."-Ife. Distance shows the 'Coming Woman - be so unattractive that heaven alone ows what a near view will be. Har4 Work. "Pop," said Farmer Corntossel's son, "here's a tramp at the back door says e wants work." "Wants work!" "That's what he says." "Well, give 'im one o' them mince pies that wus baked fur Christmas and tell 'im ter eat it."-Washingtoni Star. Pl6dged lioKil'Ohildien. Until fifty years ago two regularly conkfltuted familes of infanticides ex isted-the Mieebra, of New South Wales, and the Arreoy, of the Soclety Islands. The chief of their tenets was that no member should suffer their children to live, and they were onseverj hand respected anid held in the highest honor by their countrymen. 'A Monkey Can't Untie Knots. The monkey's intelligence baa neve4 been able to arrive at a point which on~ ables that animal to achieve the unty~ ng of a knot. You may tie a monkey with a cord fastened with the simples kind of a common knot, and unless the beast can break the string or gnaw i in two, he will never get loose. To un, tie the knot requires observation and reasoning power, and though a monkey iay possess both, he has neither in 1suffcient degree to enable him to over come the difficultr.~ --