Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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PITH AND POINT. Fireproof-Ruins. Pigheaded-A drum. A tea set--The Chinese. Fixed stars-The American flag's. It seems to take a good deal of high vind to blow down a bad 'aw.-Truth. There is one good thing about the apple of the eye. You don't often see one that is green.-Truth. It is certainly unlucky to have thir teen at table when there is only dinner enough for twelve.-Life. The chef makes no pretensions as a sharpshooter, but he can hold his own at the range. -Elmira Gazette. A tow-path mule while practicing His merry little pranks. Exclaimed, "rm getting ready for A run upon the banks." -Washington Star. "How are you? Just thought 1'a drop in awhile to kill time." "Well, we don't want any of our time killed." -Boston Globe. "It's a funny thing about getting a picture took," said Tommy. "The newer the picture is the older I look." -Indianapolis Journal. Irate Father-"I'm going to put a check to your extravagance, sir !" Im pudent Son-"All right I Give me the check. "-New York Herald. Wills of millionaires remind us If in our graves we'd be content, We should, dying, leave behind us Not so much as one blamed cent. -Buffalo Courier. "Shake ! old fellow," said the pillow to the sword, who had been relating some thrilling experiences in battle. "I know what it is to be in a fight." Puck. It is said that the alligator is about to become extinct in this country. Let us pray that he will take the guild of jawsmiths with him.-Seattle Tele graph. "Did he spend lots of money on her music?" "Oh, yes; he must have, for she doesn't play anything that sounde the least bit like a tune."-Chicagc Herald. The poets all of autumn-squall, But what delights our eyes Is, not the country in the fall, But the country on the rise. -Atlanta C'onstitution. "This," said the frightened young man, who had encountered some West ern road agents, "is positively my last appearance on any stage."-Washing ton Star. Mistress (who is about to- engage a :ook)-"Now, are you sure you have had experience?" Cook-"Oh, yes, mum; I've been in'undreds of places." -Tit Bits. She's home at last and her heart Is gay, She opens her wardrobe, alack ! alack I She finds that while she has been away The moths have devoured her sealskin sacque. -Boston Courier. Bostess-"Oh, I think 'some people are so disagreeable. Don't you hate people who can sing and won't?" Old Grouchy-"No, not so much as I do '.hose who can't sing and 'will !"-Life. An eminent physician says it is often dangerous to lie on the right side. It is also unnecessary. Any po litical speaker or writer -knows the wrong side needs the lying, if any. Buffalo Courier. Mrs. Kindle-"I presume you have rather a hard time of it?" Tramp "Yes, mum; but every cloud has a silver lining, mum. IPm not worried to death by autograph hunters." New Y~ork Weekly. "Loolk here, young man," said the medical practitioner. -"If you ride a wheel so much you'll get 'kyphosis hi cylistarum.'" "On this wheel?" "Yes, sir." "Well," replied the wheelman, "if I do, one of us will have to get off and walk."-Washing ton Star. -WORDS OF WISDOL. Stupidity is as thick as it is long. Youth wears a crown of to-morrow. Society is a lover of material things. A merry heart doesn't need a brass band. A full stomach maketh a fearless heart. The mother's' heart is the child's school-room. Our self-made men are the glory oi our institutions. Personal cleanliness is more desir able than riches. Pleasure is far sweeter as a recrea tion than a business. That rich man is happiest who cain convert his dollars into smiles. It is not necessary for a woman to mark each year of her life with a wrinkle. The woman who loves herself most can marry a man for his money and be satisfied. The man who is fond of books is usually a man of lofty thought and of elevated opinions. It is not proper for a man to think *of himself first, any more than it is to think of himself last. Poverty is the only load which is the heavier the more loved ones there are to assist in supporting it. All the pursuits of men are the pur suits of women also, and in all of them a woman is only a weaker man. Truth and fidelity are the pillars of the temple of the world; when these are broken, the fabric falls and crushes all to pieces. Life, to be worthy of a rational be ing, must be always in progression; we must always purpose to do more oi better than in time past. A secret is like silence ; you cannot talk about it; and keep it. It is like money; when once you know there is any concealed, it is half discovered. TN rHE DENTAL cHAIR Gus de Smith-"Your charge for coulling thatt tooth is fifty cents?" Dr. MIolaryanker--"Yes, that's the 'egular price." "Here is a dollar bill." "I can't make the change. What ilo yvou say to pulling another tooth *or the change." "No, I thank you." "Well, suppose I pull two teeth for the fifty. You can't kick about ti:at." --Texs Siftings. AUTUMN SUNSET. .oross the wheatnelds o'er the western h, The blood-red sun is sinking; erimsow bright Along the valley floods the sunset light, knd then reflected from below, until 'he whole wide sky the sunset colors fill And on old woodlands far along the righi Steals down the deeper glades the ap proaching night, (nd down the vale where glides the g1m mering rill. Long the west the feids of ripening grain ;treteh over dale and upland, hill and plain, and, tossing plumed heads of golder green, irink the rich pure nectar drops that run 'rom the upturned goblet of the sun, And mix their golden with Its crimsou sheen. --James T. Shotwell, in Toronto Week. los r Than a Brother. DY BURT JOHNSON. ERCIVAL WAR eley seemed to exist only to en joy life and to make life en joyable to oth ers, and by all who knew him it was admitted - that he succeed ed wonderfully i at his chosen duties. He never was seen without a cheer ful expression )n his face, and, although he was not it all brilliant, his conversation was o thor:ughly in keeping with his ountenance that almost any one was lad to exchange a few words with aim. Some young men, when they 2aard Percival's praises sounded by Noung women, insisted that they could :)e quite as agreeable and light-hearted is the popular youth had they noth .ng to do but enjoy life and spend the noney that a busy father had saved .or an only son. Probably they were mistaken, for Percival was not the only young man in New York who had plenty of money and no business oc :upation, yet some of the others looked quite as dull and unhappy as the poor ,st people they met on the street. Nothing, though, in this imperfect ,Torld seems quite as it should be, so there was a drawtback to the entire en oyment of any one who sought Per eival Wareley's society, and who were willing to help him spend his money. It was the young man's closest friend, Mr. Henry Drock. This person was at least fifteen year's the senior of young Wareley, who was only twenty four, and he took all the pleasures of he rich so calmly that people won dered if he enjoyed them at all. Yet Percival seemed fonder of him han of any other man and took him wherever he went, introducing him into society and proposing him at clubs as if thera was no doubt that others would enjoy Mr. Drock's society quite :1s much as Percival himself. People vill stand a great deal from young :nen who are rich as well as agreeable, ~o D~rock was endured politely, some niddle-aged people remarking that here was 100 times as much to him as .o Per cival himself, for the fellow eemed entirely sensible, and could talk fairly well upon the affairs of the day, whereas Percival's interest in any thing which did not produce amuse nent in large quantities were limited. Mea'nwhile, that Drock reciprocated .us young friend's regard could not be doubted for an instant. No matter how uninteresting anything might seem to the older man, his eye never rsted upon Percival without display ing an active and honest fondness. Some people were mean enough to suggest that Drock's regard was that of a well-kept dog, and for the same reason ; but Percival had insisted at one time, when conversation chanced to be about his friend, that Drock was one of the hardest men in the world to do a favor to, for his tastes were 'ew and his means ample. Young women of the class that says anything that comes to mind had ex pended much curiosity and some ques tions upon the couple, but all they learned was that Drock had known his young friend from early boyhood, and always liked him; he had first met him in the town where Percival's father had found a wife, and where the family spent a month or two of every year. He said he never had met a better-natured, more open-hearted young man, and, such qualities being scarce, he liked and respected them accordingly. It did him (Drock) a lot of good to see a young person, enjoy life so heartily and persi'stently, in stead of turning against it on being satiated with pleasure, and he thought it did men good, anyway, to be some times in the society of men younger han themselves. Drook evidently meant all he said, but his fondness for Percival did not met tho approval of some men and women who wanted Percival to become fozd of them. Young and impression able men who are rich in their own right and scarce in any society, so there were handsome women some ears older and a hundred times smarter than Peroival Wareley who would gladly have married the young an for his money. Likewise there were scores of men, oung and old, who would have given heir very souls to coax the youth and his money into business with them,.. even if their highest ideal of business was to get ahead of the bookmakers at the race tracks, or to try some "sys tem" on the proprietors of other gam bling estabishents. But Drock was always in the way ; he never talked business himself and seemed to have no business training. To see Percival without Drock was next to impossible, for the two men kept bachelor's hall together, and nd amount of contriving sufficed to get Drock out of the way while Percival should be "let into" some grand :oney-making scheme "on the ground oor." Ladies fared rather better, for Per ival's bosom friend was not an eves roper, yet the women who were longest headed had no faith in ever resuming their blandishments just where they had dropped them at the endai a chat, for they felt sure that go a long way with a young man so impressionable and so entirely desti tute of obstinacy. Desperate cases require desperate :emedies, so a couple of experiered and businesslike belles one dayformed an alliance for the purpose of securing Percival and his money; one of them was to marry Drock, who himself, ac cording to the younger man, was well off, and then to bring her bosom friend and her husband's together at her own house. It was a well laid plan, and neither woman doubted that it would succeed for each, just for fun, had brought dozens of men to her feet; it failed, however, through Drock's utter inability to perceive that a handsome woman was making love to him-he was so stupid about it as to spare her the mortification of thinking herseli ieliberately rejected. It was a great disappointment, aside from the financial loss, for the belle had been in society long enough to have learned that a matter-of-fact fel low without any vices was the most atisfactory material from which to make a model husband, epecially if he had the virtue of constancy to the degres which Drock manifested in his regard for Percival. A month or two later a.l the men raged, for Drock and his young friend went into business together as part ners. The theory that Drock intended himself to get all of Percival's money was spoiled by the new firm securing as confidential office manager a man who occupied a similar position foi -any years with Percival's father. The partners in the new firm took business cares lightly, but while at the office or on the street they still were almost inseparable, going downtown Logether and lunching together. Then society and every one else whG wanted anything from Percival would have given up had not the young man still spent his money freely; he gave achting parties and coaching parties in good style, and seemed to delight in seeing people enjoy themselves; but one condition of the enjoyment remained, that Drock should be one f the party. Still, this slowly became less a penalty than a pleasure to people who regarded the younger partner as anything but a gold mine to be worked by any one who could get at it, for Drock slowly but surely took to city ways and manners, until he became quite as good company as most of the men of leisure who helped women to kill time. Suddenly, however, the fateful day that awaits any young man was reached by Percival Wareley, the fate taking he form of a young woman whom Percival thought far prettier and sweeter than any other. So quickly did the affair take shape that sooiety did not have an inkling of it until the engagement was announced, for the lady, although well born and well-to do, was of a retiring disposition and out of the rather lively set into which the accident of birth and of a gayety 'oving mother had placed Percival. The society that had known and enjoyed Percival did not intend t 'e robbed of him, for if the young maan had done so much entertaining while a bachelor, what could he not do when he had an establishment of his own ? lhe young lady who was to become ,irs. Wareley was suddenly loaded with attentions and overwhelmed with als from ladies who knew her yet had rather ignored her in earlier 'days as being dreadfully uninteresting and spiitless. Sad to relate-but the truth must be told-several determined efforts were made to break the match on the principle that a young man who has broken with one girl is easier than any other to snap up. Then, how ever, Drock, who had become rather an old story, resumed his original prominence, and some spiteful maidens wondered whether *he was present during all the formalities and delights of courting. There was one place where he coula. Aot be, women thanked their stars, and that was at the house of the young man's intended during the hours in which women exchanged calls; all of the fair sex, therefore, who owed him grudges did their best, in their own kilful manner, to excite curiosity and suspicion in the mind of the young lady who had secured tjie great catch of the seson, and they succeeded far enough to prompt her to make many inquiries which seemed to annoy Percival, whose general answer was only that when he liked any one he liked with all his might, and never ohanged, as the bride would find out to her own satisfaction. He also said that Droek had long been known and trusted by the elder Wareley, and a son ought to be allowed to be fond of a man whom his father had liked, no matter how strangers might object. "But," said Percival's fiance one evening, in tones which sounded as if there was a flood of tears impending, "some of the girls insist that you won't be able to live without him, even after we're married. I don't want any other man beside my hus. band in the house all the while." "The girls don't know anything ibout it, my dear," the young man re lied assuringly. "You shall be ruler i the house and no one shall come nto it, not even my dearest friend, xcept when you like. Drock thinks oo much of me to offend any one whom I love. Besides, he's very happy, for my sake, that I'm boing to marry such a love of a girl, and I've heard him say, over and over again, that the happiest husbands and wives are gen erally those who see least of other peo "But how is he going to get accus tomed to the change, after having been closer than a brother to you for sev eral years?" "I'm sure I don't know. Perhaps he'll follow my example and take a wife. To tell the truth, I-well, I'll tell you some other time." "Oh Perci'val! A secret ! You're keeping something from me." "Only for a little while, and I assure you there's nothing dreadful about it -'twill make you laugh when you heaor it, I'm sure." "When will you tell me ? Just as soon as we're married my dear ; husbands and wives mustn't have .&y secrets from each other--so D)rock himself says, and I'm sure he knows." The young woman would no more have repeated this conversation to any one than she would have drowned her Iself before trying on her wedding dress, but somehow the impression ... s pad fr., on to another that nere reanly was some secretbehind the anseparable companionship of Droc) mnd Percival. So male gossips tried at once to ex ract it from Drock himself, but that ionest fellow met all the insinuations by the assertion that Percival was a eal good fellow-the cleanest hearted oung man he knew-and that no one! was gladder than Drock that he was ibout to get a sweet and trustworthy wife, and to be as happy us he de ierved. Drock kept close to the young ma. right up to the wedding day, which was also the twenty-fifth anniversary f Percival's birth. He even acted as "best man" at the ceremony, during which he looked as happy as if he were ot giving away a friend. When the oung couple were at last securely bound together for life and had es :aped from the church to the seclusion f their carriage, Percival's attempt to kiss the bride again was frustrated by a, small but determined hand, as the young woman said: "Not until you've told me the secret ibout Drock." "Oh, I don't want you to laugh at me so soon after marrying me. Do Let me wait a few days." "No-not even a few minutes. Yot promised to tell me as soon as we were married." "Very well, then; I'll keep my word, although there's really nothing to it. You see, when I came of age my father declared that I hadn't sense enough to go in when it rained. Wasn't that funny?" "No; I think 'twas real horrid." "Well, dear, perhaps he was right You see, he was a very matter-of-fact man, while mother, although as good as gold, was a gay, thoughtless, care less creature, and every one said I was her right over again. She had died a year or two before I came of age, and father failed rapidly a year or two after, and had lots of money, and I was the only child, and he was afraid I'd go to the bad. He had no rela ions to leave me to, but he remem bered Drock as a man who had alwayA seemed very fond of me when I was a boy up in the country, where mothey came from. "One day he sent for Drock and haL & long talk with him, and then he told me he had turned as much as possible of his property into cash and given it to Drock to give to me when I reached kny twenty-fifth year, if I'd previously ted according to his advice, and formed no habits of friendship of which Drock didn't approve. I was to be allowed to spend all- the money I liked in any decent way, but not a ent on any sort of vice or dissipa tion." "Drock has really been your keepez then," said the bride, instead of your friend, as every one has supposed ?" "Really, my dear, he has been a. Dig-hearted, sweet-tempered friend, iD spite of his position, and, as I look back, I suspect that I tried his pa tience awfully at times. To tell the truth, as I got some sen~se, little by little, my patience was tried, too not by anything he did or say, but be ause I really seemed unfit to go about without a keeper. But Drock did hit best by me, and I-" "And you turned out so well," sai& the bride, suddenly volunteering a little shower of kisses, "that I think all rich young men should be treated just like you, and not be allowed to run at large without some sensible personi to take care of them. "-Once 9 Week. How the Apple Tarts Went. Meyer, the confectioner, stood b& hind his counter and gazed sadly at the huge pile of apple tarts which were beginning to grow stale, for during the jast few days business had been unac pountably slack. Suddenlf he be thought himself of a plan. Sitting iown to his desk he wrote out the fol owing advertisement and sent it to the newspaper office: "Genuine Offer of Marriage-. young man of agreeable exterior ana ample means desires to form the ac quaintance of a lady with a view to making her his partner for life. Beauty and wealth are not so much an object as a good character and an amiable disposition. Young ladies who may feel inclined to cast in their lot with bim hereby requested to call at Herr Meyer's confectionery establishment to-morrow afternoon at three o'clock, and, as a means of recognition, to eat m apple tart." A few minutes after three the wholh stock of apple tarts was cleared out. - Sheffield (England) Telegraph, Her Windows. Anybody who has ever looked out of one of the old-fashioned windows with sixteen or twenty-four panes of "bubbly" glass, knows the peculiar ap pearance which objects present wher seen through such a medium. "Old lady Hawley," who had lived seventy-two years in a house liberally supplied with windows of this kind, and who spent a good deal of time looking out of them, was filled with amazement when she first sat down to viewv the landscape from her niece Mehitable's "best room," where the old-fashioned panes had been replaced by new ones of good clear glass and modern size. "Well., I do declare:" she ejaculated after about fiye minutes. "It docs beat all how folks look through this windr: Makes a sight o' diti'rence in their gaits, seem 's ef. It's allus 'peared to me 's ef my neighbor, Mis' Spofford, hed a kind of a hobblin' walk when she got out onrter the road, but she's jest gone past, step pin as straight as ken be. "But there," she went on, "I dunn: but I like my winders on some ac counts, livin' in a kind of a lonesome spot, as I do. Fer I notice a man goin' past here looks like just one man, but through my winders he allu >oks like a gin'ral muster:" In Triilty Steeple. "You should be a base-hall player," aid the beetle to the spider. "Why, so?" inquired the latter. "Tou're so good at catching ilies." "True, but l'd fall a victim to time i'owls." And he went behind the bat. Excha nge. It is estimated that last year 1,283, 000,000 bananas were consumed in the LOW DRESSES A CURSE. SWoman Reformer in New York Stir& Up a War Against Them. Mrs. E. D. Grannis, of New York, is eMaging a fight against the "abomina :ion" of low dresses. Mrs. Grannis a President of the -National Christiia League for the Pro motion of Social p / Purity, is superia tendent of the W. C.T. U. of New York County and ',j 1: superintendent of -. the Social Purity - Central Union. She has been a reform MRS. GRAINNIS. er most of her life, And In the Parkhurst crusade against rammany took an active part. She is % steadfast believer in woman suffrage and is :::e editor and proprietor of a -cligious paper, the Church Union. Low dresses Mrs. Grannis considerm 'n evil of stupendous proportions. The .lress, she says, which is cut so low as to display more than th.. shoulders is the greatest means to excite emotional thought. To me there is something holy In the person of a wo man which is sa cred to the purest relations of life, and it should no.t be exposed by pub- \ lie exhibition. My j observation h1'.1S taught me that fat I women are the greatest offenders. They lace them selves s o tightly that it gives them an abnormal ap pearance, and the low dresses which they wear make an exposure which to me is not only im- Mas. GRAN1Ns 13 'nodest, but dis- STREET ATTIBR. gusting. Mrs. Grannis herself has adopted the modern advanced woman's apparel, wearing tights.-a short skirt reaching only a little below the knees and a combination woolen suit beneath the tights. She has discarded corsets and wears a girdle. Mrs. Grannis is a New Englander b3 :)irth. At the age of 15 she taught school in her native village and subse quently in Ohio and Brooklyn, N. Y. In the latter place she married and f-r several years knew what ease and inoney meant. Then her husband lost his money and after a little died. Mrs. Grannis took in boarders, roomers, served and turned her hand to many things 'to support herself and family. She has fairly well succeeded, and. Dwns the house In the metropolis where -he lives. 'LIGHT ON HIS BLINDERS. Berlin Horses Now Wear Electric Headlights on Their Bridles. In Berlin the use of glow lamps at' tached to vehicles and the horse draw ing them is now so common as to ex cite no remark, says Industries and Iron. An adaptation of the glow lamp THE NEW BLINDERS. for the latter purpose is shown in the cut herewith. The lamp is enclosed in a silvered reflector, and is fed from a small battery of accumulators carried a the vehicle. WELL-KNOWN AUTHOR. tobert Barr, Who Recently Spent u MIonth in This Country. Robert Barr, who recently returned o England after being a month in the United States, is well known as the au thor of some pecu liarly gay and half ,' satirical short sto ries. He is perhaps. - still better known as a humorous wri ter in the Detroit , - p Free Press, under, the name of "Luke' Sharp." R ob er t Br is one of ts who has succeeded7 in satisfying the lit erary demands of Ronsar BaaR. he English reading public. It is four teen years since he went to London to attmtpt to establish an English edi ion of an Anmerican paper. and his suc ress has been remiarkablle. Mr. Barr is [tal, muscular man of fine presen~ce. I is in the forefront of social reform Purse at the Girdle. For several centuries the purse was always worn fastened to the girdle. A cut purse got its name from the fact that rather than take the time to loose tle purse from the belt where it was 'ecured by buckles. one cut the straps. The sea cueumber is nothing but a thn skin, and a very capacious stom tch. _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ About the only pleasur'e in this life is to have friends wvho "spoil" you. The Usual Besult. Husband-Everythinlg in this house (s out of place. Ileen having an Narthquake? Wife-l're~ been putting thbiDgS In ')rdr.-Newv York Weekly. Her Reflectionl. Jack-What did you think when 1 tised you'.> Clara-I wondered what my fiance oudi think if he knew it.- ew York Herald ROMAN PIPERS' Bome Italian Xuaiciana the Like oi .Which Are Not Seen in America. Akin to the peants who come down rrom the mountains In the planting and harvest season to earn a few lire on the farms of the Roman Campagna are the pifferari, or pipers, who may be seen playing, singly or In groups, A PIFFEBAEO. pon a sort of clarionet, very much after the fashion of the little German bands that have become so numerouj in the large American cities. Theiri garb, so tattered and worn, has a brig-i and qir about It which never falls to at, tract attention and to secure a few old! for the performers. They have a melancholy air and go about with a forlorn look, which, added to the forlornness of their attire, maker them objects of pity. WEARING QUEUES IN CHINA. ft Is Merely the Prevailing Style, and Is Not Demanded by Law. "It is to the Tartars who conquered China several centuries ago that we are Indebted for this much discussed ueue," said Wing Lock, a prominent Chinaman, to a writer for the Pitts burg Dispatch. "You bear a great deal about the laws of China relating to the wearing of queues; how a Chinaman cannot return to his country without his queue, and all that. Well, it Is all bosh. The wearing of a queue Is no more required by law than your gen-, tlemen wearing whiskers. It is a cus tom and a style, and a Chinaman real izes some truth in the saying that you might as well be out of the earth as out of style. A Chinaman retains his queue simply because if he should ever re turn to his native land he would not care to go about among his friends and make himself conspicuous by such a radical departure from the style of so many millions of people. Strange, too, that the Chinaman should hold to his queue with such tenacity when It was originally Imposed upon him as a mark of subjection. When the Tartars came over and set a ruler on our throne they decreed that every Chinaman should wear a queue such as they did. Of course, this was at first galling to them, for they could not see or touch their plaited hair without being reminded of their conquest.' But time heals all wounds, and It was not long before the Chinamen began to cherish the marks of subjection as a good fashion or style. This was also true about the style of dress the Chinamen now wear. It is in the queue that a Chinaman wears his badge of mourning. When a China man's father or mother dies there is sent to him, as to all the members of the family, colored garters. These are not garters as we understand, but sort of ribbons, white, green or blue, which are plaited with the hair. White, green and blue are the colors of mourning, while the ribbon that Is ordinarily plait ed in the queue Is black. These blue and green garters are worn in the hair for one year after the death of a par ent." A ZEBU CALF. Born in Central Park, New York City, Recently. Quite a little excitement was causedl . few days ago at Central Park, New York city, by the birth of a zebu calf. It is a wonderfully pretty female calf, two feet In height and of a russet brown ZEBU CALF AND Cow. color on the back that shades into & pure white on the stomach. The eyes are a melancholy black. The little legs, upon which she Is not yet quite at home. are as slender as pipe stems. At pres ent there Is little sign of the hump at ihe base of the neck that Is the pecu liarity of these cows. Where Woman Is Boss. A woman's paradise exists In the In. dian Ocean. The tiny Island of Mini coy, midway between the Maldive and Lacadive groups, is entirely under fem inine rule, the men humbly taking the second place on every occasion. The woman is the hea<5both of the Govern ment and the home, and when she mar ries her husband takes her name and .ands over all his earnings throughout isi married life. Silk gowns are the universal wear, the upper classes don ung red silk and earrings, while the lower ten appear in dark striped silk of coarser quality. A novel tunnel is projected for the eva at St. Petersburg, Russia. It is > be cylindrical in form, forty-three I et in diameter, and to have four *oors or decks for pedestrians, 3hicles, cars and telegraphic cablev espectively. The value of coral <tepends mnehc~ upon its color, which varies fromn the nost delicate flesi or pink to deep :rimson. Th9 p'-a shades are the nost rare ax d highly -'rized. 6113OTS BY THE QUAR'o - Series of Remarkable Signs that Cr.. ated Astonishment in South Street. In South street there Is an Italiai who runs a Yankee notion stand. He speaks English after a fashion, but cannot iead a word of It. This fact bas made him an easy prey for a heartless )oker. ^ His stock of goods includeS Almik-, everything from peanuts and chewing gum to suspenders and watrproof jumpers. Until recently he had dis played no placards, giving the price of his wares, but the other day a man offered to paint all the signs that the Italian needed free of charge.e The offer was joyfully accepted. The signs were painted and placed In position. Crowds were attracted to the spot, and visions of sudden wealth danced be, fore the Italian's eyes. Here are some of the Inscriptions painted by the mountebank: CAPE ANN BOOTS? Only 50 Cents a Quart CHEWING GUM. All Kinds, Only 2 Cents a Yard. They were prominently displaye% near the top of the stand, but they were eclipsed by these a little lower down: PEANUTS! Raw or Roasted. $2 a Pint. Must Be Eaten Here. SUSPENDERS! - Baked, Fried or Boiled. With Edible Buckles, 20 Cents a Plate. The placard that won the most a. miration and of which the Innocent merchant was particularly proud was an oblong affair, gorgeous in colors. It read: Gold Plated Brushes.....5 Centa / Diamond Studs...-..... ..2 Cents Collar Buttons. ........$10 Each All Pocket Knives..........Free A few minutes after the signs bad been put Into place an old sailor was trying to buy two quarts of Cape Ann boots for $1, and the Italian was get ting black In the face trying to make him understand that the boots- were "Pout dol' a'pair." Many similar scenes were witnessed. Finally a sym pathetic friend exposed the fraud to the victim, and the pasteboards were 'emoved. MOLMES' MIDNIGHT MESSAGL 'ow the "Autocrat" Was Xade a ern ber of a Bohemian Club. Years and years ago, when the Bohe. maau Club was in its infancy, In the lays when the members met in the old 9acramento street rooms, there Was a "Jinks." Now, a Jinks, especialy a links in the Bohemian Club, Is not con ducted on strictly temperance prind4 ples. This one was no exception to the - rule. Tommy Newcomb was president of the Bohemian Club. in those days, and under his supervision the reins of discipline were drawn but laxly. The subject of the Jinks was the ten f'a. mous professors at the br-eakfast table. One member recited "Old Ironsides," and a moment later another capped L' vith "The Height of the Ridiculous." -The "Chambered Nautilus" was fol. owed by "The One Hoss Shay." And solit went until some spirit bolder than the rest Indited a telegram to the-good, gray poet of Boston, informing'-him of his election to the Bohemian Club, with all privileges appertainlng therewin%) and sent It before the more sobermienm 'ers could protest Now, Boston Is three hours nearer the rising sun than San Francisco. The 6elegram had scarce left the club-rooms before some mathematically inclined nember had discovered that It would bemidnight or later ere the.New Eng and doctor and poet would receive hfr uotfication of election. Judge of the astonishment of the rol licking Bohemian crew when a uni formed messenger of the telegraph company ran up the steps wIth the fol lowing message and asked. "Is d'ere any answer?" "Message from San Francisco. Whis per low, Asleep in bed an hour or more ago. Vhile on his peaceful pillow he re chines, Say to his friends who sent these 10t ing liner 'Silent, unanswering, still to friendship true, ife smiles in slumber, for he dreams 01 you. "OL1VER WENDELL HOLMES.>.-. "Boston, Feb. 23, 1874, MIdnight." And thus was Holmes made a memi ber of the Bohemian Club.-San Franv cisco Examiner. Dressing When You're Sick. If only able to sit up in bed a look sacque-shaped garment called a night Ingale is most handy for slipping over he nightdress, writes Emma M. Hoop er, in a practical article on "Gowns for Occasional Use" in the Ladles' Home Journal. It is made of cashmere or lannel and usually has the edges hemmed and feather-stitched; all of the pattern houses Issue a pattern of iI When able to sit up for a time a wrap per of striped flannel having a Princess back and loose front .'s comfortable worn with or without the nightgown, but I believe in changing all of the clothes when able to get out of bed. Dl not fuss too much about dressing and thus become tired. Wear pure wool under wear, a soft-boned corset or corset waist; then add a flannel and outer petticoat and the wrapper, with easy bedroom shoes of crodhet wool, felt, wadded silk, etc. Dainty shoulder shawls and sofa covers are always-ap preiated by one doomed to such a weary life as must be led in a sick room. 'Plenty. of cushions having. removable 'denim or linen covers are nec'essary. S1ect covers for wrappers, shawls, etc., that are cheerful and becoming. Cardi nal, garnet, reddish brewn, pinkish gray, light blue, yellow, ree, fright old rose and cream are good sick-room colors. A bit of lace ga'thered in the nelk and sleeves will help to conceal the marks of Illness. Have soft mater las, exquisite cleanliness and dainty colorings. Prophecy Based on History. I"Well, 1 wonder what will b h ensation of the week?" queried the teleraph editor. "If I may be permitted to speak,' entured the horse editor, "it Is likely that the sensation of tte weak Iwill continue to be that. ti feele