University of South Carolina Libraries
TRI-WEFKLY E)ITION. WINNSBORO, S. C., MARCH 7,1895. ESTABISHED 1849. When a man r -ularly makes a fog f himself, and can't help it, he has good cause for discouragemeut. The first present a man gives a wom in is usually the only present he ei joys giving. The rest are given from 9 sense of duty. A man who tries to be thrifty, and -arries a pin for an emergency, will scratch his finger on the point of it at least ten times a day. A Memphis official recommends the reduction of his own salary. We don't know what ails him, but hope he is un. dergoing treatment for it. Denver women are higfily indignant because they are not per.nitte: to serve on juries. 'Their husbands are highly indignant because they are compelled to do so. Mabel Dodge, the cashier in a Massa chusetts grocery store, is short in her accounts $2,000. It isn't a large amount, but it will do for a starter for the "new woman." Since the great Homestead strike ot 1892 wages at that place have been cut three times. And yet the country will be shocked by and by when another eruption occurs and blood is spjled down there. Massachusetts has been ihting that dangerous insect, the gypsy Oth. wiih annaal appropriations, awl linds that they grow larger every year. It is a question now whether the bug will not prove more costly to the ,Staite than the Uoosac tunnel, whic'i represents an out lay, *on the installment plau, of $20, 000,000. The corn crop of 1894 was not much more than half as large as the ubpre cee-ated crop of 1889, but its value is estimated at $554,719,00) aainst $W97, 018,000 for that of 1889. Thus we have a striking illustration of te fact that a shorL harvest is often nearly as proita ble as an excessive one. owing to the in creased price that it brings Confucius lived about 2,40) years ago, and he made such a tremendous' impression upon China that its menta'! and- moral growth stoped then and' there. He taught that the- performance' of duty is all that man need concern himself about in this world, but ap parently forgot to add that keepiu:; up to date in all directions is a necessary part of the business. Mr. Horace E. Scudder, editor of the Atlantic Monthly, remarks plaintively: "I often ask myself if I am getting a full return for the energy I spend read ing the newspapers." Not knowing what papers or what part :f the papers udder reads we cannot answer his question. But we can cheerfully assure him that we get a full return for the energy we expend in restraining ourselves from reading the Atlantic Monthly. The Philadelphia Ledger proudly boasts that there are more centena rians and nonagenarians living in that town than in any other city in this country. We can account for this only on the supposition that Philadelphians who are familiar with the Ledger's obituary poetry are afraid to die. Who would not shrink from this as long ax possible?: "I gave him his medicine regular, From morn till the set of sun; He took two powders at 10 o'clock And another powder at 1. But doctors cannot help us When death knocks at the door; Good-by, my darling husbandl You left at 10 minutes to 4!" We sometimes wonder that Philadel phians do Dot go elsewhere to die. Anybody who thinks no newspaper can be lively and worth reading unless it Is published in a large city is Invited to cast his eye over the following edi torial gems taken from a late number of the Southwest .Virginian of Jones ville, Va.: Robie Ball is repairing the gallows. Capt. Will T. Kennedy Sundayed in the city. John Henderson was in to see us yes, terday. John Henderson says he sold seven saddles so far this week. A rainy and tauddy Xmas was the fated lot of our dudine aristocracy. Having extended the "merry Xmas'" we now greet you with a "Happy New Year." Bill Jones, who is to hang to-morrow, says that he guesses he will die as ho has lived. The localist had the pleasure of eat) Lng turkey with Maj. and Mrs. Hyatt Xmas day dinner. -- Private Sect'y Duskins received a le ler from his Honor Col. Alex. B. Mun sey saying that he would be at home ir time for the han~ging. Our little town, though hemmed and hedged about by spire-like mountains, possesses to a remarkable degree the best accoutremuents of stage talent. The editor further sa:ys: "Jonesville will have a unique and attractive ex hibition to-morrow. On that day, for the third time in the annals of the county, our citizens may witness a tragical tragedy. Mr. William Jones, the gentleman of color, will make hi: last and final debut on the public stage. A large audience is expected." Jones. ville, we infer, is apt to be a lively and cheerful sort <g place when the oppor tunity to celebrate the3 Christmas holi days and a hanging at the same tint' hap~peus to come along. Chicago's death rate for the yes 1894 was only 10.I per 1000. THE " NEW WoMAN." 4he 1.es not unish in her b, en" ( tr saa~tua ! lh ( hn a in fahni; a t lower Upon a wurst.l spray. Nor is she quite cnteulit to. wait Behind her "rose-wreathed lattice-pane Until besidie her father's gate The gallant Prince draws rein." The brave "New Woman" scorns to And count it "such a grievous thing" That year on year should hurry by And no gay suitor bring; in labor's ranks she takes her place, With skillful hands an.d cultured mine, Not always foremost in the race. But never far behind. And not less lightly fall her feet Because they tread the busy ways; She is no whit less fair and sweet Than maids of olden days, Who, gowned in samite or brocade, Looked charming in their dainty guise. But dwelt like violets in the shade, With shy, half-opened eyes. Of life she takes a clearer view, And through the press severely moves, Uufettered, free; with judgment true, Avoiding narrow grooves. She reasons and she understands; And sometimes 'tis her joy and crownj Fo lift with strong yet tender hands The burdens men lay down. -Chambers' Journal. GREAT SPELLING BEE 6I allus held," said the Chronic Loaf ?r, as he stretched his legs along the counter'and rested his back comforta ly against a pile of calicoes, "thet they Sin't no sech thing as roarinborin allu& know some sais they is electric lights, but when I seen thet big un last night I said to my missus, an' I hol' I'm right. thet et was nothin' but th' iron furnace pver th' mo'ntain. Fer, s'pose, ez tl reacher sais, they is lights up et th' porth pole, does you uns believe we foul. see 'em all thet distance? WelU pow!" He gazed impressively about the store at the close of this discourse. The Mil !ar, the Shoemaker and the G. A. R. Man were disposed to agree with him. but the School Teacher was sarcastic. "If you had ever studied physical ge ography," he said. "you would know that the aurora borealis is not a light made upon terra firma, but a peculiar magnetic condition of the atmosphere for which there is no apparent account ing." He looked toward the Chronic Loafer. "And the maner in which yon pronounce it Is exceedingly ludicrous. It is not a roarinborin allways. It h; spelled a-u-r-o-r-a-b-o-r-e-a-l-1-s." The Tinsmith, who was seated upon A nail keg, rubbing his hands in the warm rays of the stove, chuckled softly. The Chronic Loafer noticed him and felt convinced that the correction of his own grammar had caused the other's mirth. "What's you uns so tickled abou now?" he asked gruffly. "I was jest thinkin'," the Tinsmith replied, his countenance assuming its natural expression, "of the time my ole frien' Quincy Muthersbaugh spelled down John Jimison, who tot up to Hap py Grove school. .He done et on thet very word. My, but thet there was a "Now, 'fore you git grindin' 'way sence you've got on spellin'-I want ter '.el a good un on-" "Let him tell us about Quincy Muth ersbaugh," the School Teacher inter posed, decisive~ty. "Your good un can keep." Compelled to silence, the Chronic Loafer rolled over on his back and gaz ed dejectedly into the dim recesses of -.he ceiling, while the Tinsmith began. "Some folks is nat'ral sr'ellers, jest s&s others is nat'r-al musicians. Ag'in. ot's jest as bard ter make a good spoller by edlcation as et is ter make a good |:ass horn blower. Fer a feller thel ain't that inborn idee of how miany btters is needed ter make a word '1l fever spell no better than th' man the' Lain't a nat'ral sense of howv much ivind's needed for a note '11 play a basr U orn." "I dannot wholly agree with you." I:aterruptcd the School Teacher. "Give a child first words of' one syllable, then two; then dri them in words ending in "We won't discuss thet. Teacher, fet et don't effect our case. John Jimison was a nat'ral speller. You never seen thi' like. Give him a word of six or seven syllables an' he'd spell et out like et was on a blackboard right before him. When he was 201 he hed spelled 1 down all the scholars in Happy Grove, an' 'd won 'bout six bees. Then he went to th' Pikestown Normal scho'd! aut in the western part of Pennsylvanty. When he come back you never knowe'd th' beat. He hied stedied Lating an' Rlgebray, but I guess he must a spent conisider'ble ti;me a-brushin' up his spellin', fer there was only one feller 'bout these parts who could keep himi for ainy time at all. lHe was my frien's I Quincy Muthersbaugh. You tuns knows Qu~icy. He tot two winters up et Kis- 1 hikoquillas school, an' went west after I he mnawried. He was a powerful good rfellr-still-an' a fine teacher an' spell' I h-r-but John Jimison hed th' advantage :>t a normal school edication, an' know'd it, fer you tuns never seen th' 4 like of th' waiy ho keoried on when h' was teachin' ter Happy Grove. 'Thet was th' witer we hed so much r-now. it hed drifted in th' roads, so we drove through th' fiel's, if you uns re-memiber. What with church soshbles 1 an' singin' school an' spellin' bees they I was a heap sight goin' on. "Not a week passed but me an' Quin cy Muthersbaugh went some'eres, an' I 'fore I know'd et both him an' John ;imiisonl was keepin' comp'ny with Han :ath Siders. She was jest as pretty as a peach, plump an' rosy, with th' slick' es nat'ra1 h4hr an' toth yom eveMent She was powe rful fond -,f ed!U'tion. when thetm two teachers was after Ii she jest ((eullin': imal up her inii'. S faiOred b,th. But et seetUed ter L Quincy was her favoryte withol .e knowia' It. Ie'd go see her and s lown an' uever say nothin' *iuch; b ihe kinder thot him pleasant comnpan lie was good-lookia' an' sure an' i l'ool. Jimison was ainus'i' toler'ble hLis looks an' held th' al.antage of wormai school edic'ation, an' kinder da det'd her. Et allus 'peared ter ine. sti as if he was a bit conceity, but then I took with th' girls. "H4annah Ciders didn't know whiz .r tnem two ter cnoose; rr seCn-s figured on et all fall an' well inter t) winter. She begin ter get thin an' lo ill her color, an' both them fellers wt near wild with anxiousness an' contij ual quarrelin'. Then what yer s'pow they done?" "Et 'll take a long time fer 'em t( ,lo much, th' way you tells et," tl Chronic Loafer grumbled. '"She give out," continued Tinsmit: aot heeding the interruption, "Lh she'd take th' best edicated. Th< dekled Jimison, who blowed round tt til his friends how he was ju, eady. He was goin', he put et, 'lii h' male knights of old, ter tilt in tl <urning-months fer his lady.' The tgreed ter hev it out on th' quiet at t] >ig spellin' between their schools t followin' week. I thot Quincy W ,one. He jest went ter work, thougl in' fer sev'ral days before th' bee ;een nothin' of him. He was stedyli th' spellin' book. "The night come, an' sech a crow is they was et th' Happy GroN 4chool. They was -sleighin', and fer luarter of a mile in front of th' buildli .hey was nothin' but horses hitched t( I' fences. Th' schoolroom was a lecorated with greens in' lighted wit .lc. lamps fer th' occasion, an' wE jest packed. All th' seats was fille with girls, an' th' men was lined fot deep 'long th' walls an' banked up o top of one 'nother at th' back. On or1 ide of th' platform, settin' on a benc long under th' blackboard, was t] ixteen best scholars of th' Happ Grove School, led by John Jimisoi Re was smilin', an' conferdent, ai ,azin' longin' at Hannah Ciders, wh wos on one of th' front seats an' 'pea -d rather nervous. He was all togge out in a new Prince Albert coat fe er benefit. "I was standin' be th' stove meltir th' snow off me boots, when I hed ew words with Quince Muthersbaugl Re seemed jest a little excited, by lowed et 'ud come out all right. The be took his place with his sixtee .cholars on th' other side th' platfort in' th' procedin's begin. "Teacher Long, from over in Lemo Township, called out th' words from speller, while me an' another fele kept tally. The first word ..ren ot as soupeny, an' Quincy missed e Ee spelled et 's-u-p-e-n-a.' I jest fel ;ick when I marked down one agait s side.: Jimison took her, spelled he ll right an' commenced ter smih \uthersbaugh looked solemn. Th eller nex' on his side spelled supei sedes correct, while th' man nex' Job imison missed superannuation, ar :hen Happy Grove an' Kishikoqulilla was even. They kep' thet up an huu in' a half, an' I tell ycr et was inzo~ xcitin' ter see them trained speller >attlin'. When they quit Happy Gr~ov' ied two less misses then Kishikoqui: as. Jimison commenced ter smile trl imphant, but Quince didn't do nothu? cept set there quiet like. "After a recess of ten minutes the; 'egin ter spell down. All th' scholar ied up In a row an' whenever on iissed a word they hed to go set in ti tud'ence. They spelled an' spelled ell final they was no one left bu uincy Muthershaugh an' John Jimi ;on, jest standin' there glarin' et eaec ther an' singin' out letters. Et wa tgrand sight. Hannah Cider's wa >le andi tremblin', fer she knowed 11 ally of an idle word then. Trh' aud 'nee was most stretchin' thier neck iten joint, they was so inltereted l'wo lamps went out an' no one fixe em; th' air was jest blue with 11 ~teamn made by thi' snow meltin' off ti. ellers' boots, au' th' stove begint ~mke, an' th' room was suifocatin ut no one thot ter put up~ a winder h' excitein~en' was so bad. "Seeh wor'ds as plenultimate, coneah ation, pentateuch an' silhouette coin ead easy ter thiem teachers. They kei larin' et each other an' spellin' lik heIr life depended on et. Poor Long' roce got weaker an' weaker a giv'it it words. I was thet nervous I conil airdly see. TIhey spelled all th itionls and entions, all the words end n' in ismi, die and nes. tell et seiee hey'd use up thl' book. (Quincv wa cttin' more excitedl; Jimison's knee vas tremiblin' visible. "Then Long give out Rorybory Ailu' ou could a heard a pin drop in the 00om. Jimison he begin slow, as e t was dead easy; 'A-r-o-r-a, Aurorn )-o-r, Aurora Bor; e-a-i-i-s, Aurora Bc. ealis.' "They was a mumble went over ii oomn, an' he seen lie was wrong ar 'lled: 'A-u, I mean.' " "'Too late,' says Long. 'Only on ~hanc't et a time tell one or tb' othe' pells1 et. Th' gentleman n hi gits e ight first wins. a'.'coI din' teri iules5.' "Jimison w~as white as a sheet an' hi 'ace an' hands was a-twitchin' as r tood there glarin' et Quiner. Muthers augh looked at th' iloor like he w:I tedyin'. I seen Hannah Ciders lea: or'a'd an' grip tL' de4 with her handi: n' then I know'd she'd made up he nin' which she favored. "He begin: 'A-u, au; r-o-r, ror, Auroz t, Aurora; B-o-r, bor, Aurora Bor; kurora Bore; a-l, al, Aurora Boreal 'hen he stopped an' looked at th' floo 1 Jest stooa up. I was thet excite d er I knowed what was wrong. I seei teairs in Hannah Cider's eyes as shi ieaned for'a'd, not breathin'; I see Jijuison grin an' know'd he rememberee he'd left out th' u an' 'ud spell et surf ;t jest as quick as he'd get a chanc't. T believed Quincy was goin' ter say 'a. 1 in lhlet et was all up with him. an' thel ,n 1Uannah Ciders know'd who she favor 'd too late, fer she wasn't a girl ter a break a greemen'. "Then sudden a feller run in th' door 'n' yelled: 'Some un's run off witl reacher Jimison's horse an' sleigh!' "You ans never seen sech a panic. eh' weeien jumped up an' yelled; th men jest piled out th' door; John Jiml. ;on climbed out th' winder, an' Teacher Long dropped his spellin' book an' fol tered. Ter my surprise Quincy Muth 'e rsbaugh never moved; he jest stood there lookin' at Hannah Ciders an ;iilin', while she was gazin' back, as e red as a beet. I was gettin'.out th' win ier among th' last an' turned 'round ter see ef Quince was behind me; thet's how I come ter notice et. I jest stop t )ed an' looked et both of 'em. Fer three t minutes them two stared et each other r an' I stared et them, not knowin' what t ter make of et. Meantime the room e was cleared. Outside we heard th' .-eigh bells ringin' as th' fellers started off after th 'thieves; we heard John Jlinison and Teacher Long callin' to 'em ter go In this an' thet direction; we eard''ff?'W Xe miplalnin' because 1 they'd so many hev ter~lw' -t_ I "Then th' rear winder, right back of vbere Quincy was tandin', slid up an' his young brother Sam stuck his head d in, an' when he seen th' coast was clear, e whispered: 'I jest give th''larm in time, a Quince, didn't I? I've hitched Teacher ' Jimison's horse right here behind th' r schoolhouse, an' you kin take her home 11 jest as soon as th' last of these here hi fools gits away." s "Quincy smiled an' said: 'I thot you d was never comin' an' I'd hev ter spell r et out.' n "But th' winder was shet down an' e his brother was gone. - ft "Then he steps down off th' platform k' an' walks up ter Hannah Ciders, an' y says: 'Th' last syllable e-a-l-a-s.' i. "'No,' she says, quiet-like, 'et's e-a4 ' -s. But thet ain't no difference.' o 'I slipped out th' winder an' started -. ome. 'Bout ten minutes later John d Jimison's horse and sleigh passed me on r th' road, an' from what I seen I jedged et wouldn't a done him much good, e any way, ef he had a spelled down Quin, a y Muthersbaugh."-New York Evening Sun. TWO CRACKS AT PENUCKLE. Z Congressmen Henderson and Dunn to 1 Battle at, Cards. In all the boundles west there is no S)fne that can hold a candle to Represen a tative Henderson, of Iowa, in playing r ;>enuckle. His fame begins at the Ohio, t :'euehes over the rolling praries, ripples icross the Rio Grande into the lair of t the Mexican and loses itself in the tow -ring peaks of the Rocky Mountains, r says the Washington Post. When be Siannounces that he is to play, all the e lesser lights of penuckleism bend their - acads in silent adoration; the Iowa a 3tate Band- the pride of the Mfissouri ' alley-- no longer toots the resonant . wru. and over the wide expanse of land r ind sky the silence reigns supreme. t Representative Dunn. of New Jersey. a . :>Uf.;nacious Irishman, who Leareth not I .rods or men, much less the young pe auckler who comes out of the West, is something of a hand at the game him .aelf. Hie can keep track of the twelve :ards in a way that makes your head swim. He can count 204. and 400 while s y-ou are wondering which is the trump, Sand as for the nine spot, he can corral themn with an ease that is as graceful as it is marvelous. Well, Mr. Dunk tand Mr. Henderson have challenged - ach other to penuckle combat. Now is the sky lurid with prophecy of the great anid momaentous struggle. Behind Mr. SIlenaierson, in serried ranks. stands thie - etire Republican lnembei-ship of the Ihouse, with the Western muen cheering k ludly aud ramipanit for the success of1 their hero. Mr. Dunn has rallied the E 1astern Democrats, and pocketbooks filled with gold, silver and legal ten Jers wave in the air and obscure th~e aizurre heavens. Ten gamnes are to be played. Already the champions have met around the table and have separ ated from their friendly skirmish with honors even. W~ait until the watch is played! The glory of the West anu of the East will then be pitted against ea'~ch other. Either the snowy summits tf the Rockies are to shine in refulgent .beauty or else the mosquitoes of New 1I Jersey will siug a unean of traise. . aid : Eczouerg stuenut t'. a night watchman, in the wee sma hours of the morning, "sir, I would like to ask you a question." Go ahead, young man," answered rthe dignitary; "that is what I am here .for." "Well, sir, does the law permit me to call a pl)Oicemnan an ass?" , You had better begone immediate ly, or I will lock you up." The votary of alma mater advanced e a few step}s on his way home, but re . mrned and asked humbly: "Bi3ut, sir, is it permitted to cali an asi a policemuan?" "The law doesn't say anything aboul bat. young man." I.t doesn't. eh? Well, good morning Mr. Policeman." Pill Taking - A new "pill taker" is a recent Inven tion-not a human being. but a sort ol' spout affixed to a glass or cup, by which the pill is safely started on its .Journey down the gullet, without that inivolun tary rising of the gorge which sioms THE FIELD OF SEDAN by an mq F, GERMAN AND FRENCH BATTLE MONUMENTS. tic dio Boil Which Witnessed the Terrific 4 Struggle that Ended.Jmperialism in 84! France and Effected German Feder- to ation. [at . .. cry Historic Memorials. ar( In its results the most important bat- wb :le fought since Waterloo was that of Sedan. By it imperialism was brought to an end in France; the third republic, which still endures and prospers, was proclaimed; the federation of the Ger man provinces was effected, and King William of Prussia became the ruler of a. united German empire. The battle of Sedan, fought September 1, 1870, j virtually ended the war, which th" ttird Napoleon had foolishly declared aigainst Prussia, and on the battle field Napoleon himself surrendered his sword to the Prussian king. Since that day 24 years ago the bat. le field of Sedan has greatly changed. (W Nearly every relic of the eventful strug gle has been removed. Long ago the - plow leveled the graves of many; In Pa other cases the remains of the dead 9I combatants were exhumed and remov- bo ed into the graveyard of the local vil- liff !ages, where their resting places are un- m maarked by any memorial. There is one 1 iterestlng memento of the struggle -emainin er's cottage, neal bo. Douchery-where the ;nr r Napo leon and Prince Bismarck had an h ~f terview on the morning after the bat- to tie. But the historic cottage is now chi On Dr cri me It Sn] res br gel of - -th( of * ~ - -thi th( CRYPT CONTAINING BONES OF FRENCH AND GERMAN SOLDIEBS. go( .inhabited and in dilapidation and , soon, like other relics of the battle 'o aield, will pass away forever. fo Monunents in the Field. There are but two memorials on the actual field of battle. One was erected I soi - -bit Col V A glI *tios eve 4- '.-'-der -. . gra -- the QONUMENT ON THER BATTLEFIELD 07 SEDAN. W g MOKDN TH SCED -ui hs wal, tisblivd isstrdh moetaI0 easIn mut t ee wg s ts worleWha is re the "prnclt wasue" r thegto eghofurhr red ~what is imperial wealth? Make up out your figures, grasp for an instant at the ati enormity of them, and then try to con- tre; ~elve the vastness of the store of mo ,wealth 'which well-authenticated state- ille nzents give to Moukden, the capital of be4 I ar.churia, and sacred city of the der Mianchus. it< Moukden, even by the time this ap- the pears in print, may have fallen into the chi bands of the Japanese army, command- vas ed by Count Yamagata. And the im- as perial treasure is estimated at 1,200,- len )Q0,000 taels. _ The value of a tael is S ibout $1.50 of our money-sometimes .iex nore. This would place the imperial wo board at nearly two billion of dollars! me. Chere can be little error in these cal- Mir :ulations, say those best versed in mat- ma :ers concerning the Chinese govern- wo :nent. It is well known that for at int least 200 years past the reigning Chi- by aese Emperor has sent an annual con- anm signment of 6,000,000 taels to Moukden wo, tq ha sto-red.b France to the memory of her deadt d the other is a conventional monu mnt erected at the joint expense of ance and Germany to the memory d in a certain sense to the preserva in of the Bavarian and French sol ?rs who fell in the bitter and savagE hting in and about the Ill-fated YU ,e of Bazeilles, which shell and tha ch laid In ashes. The base of the ter monument cons!sts of a great pt, the center of which is pierced by ride passage, on either side of whicl vaults with barred fronts, behind P,,A TWE "wEAVER's COTTAGE." here Eismarck and the Emperor met the morning after Sedan.) 'ts of skulls, in rear of which are ?d tangled heaps of miscellaneone 1es. The remains of the enemies In remain still separate as they slowly ulder; the German bones are in the les on one side of the central passage, ise on the other are tenanted by the ies of Frenchmen. - Tested Her Sincerity. 'he Count- eT__qps uever seemet. lose sight of the educalzn of his ldren, even in the smallest ~eit e morning at breakfast, a beautiful esden tea-cup was broken. "Ah!'' ed the countess, "a disaster! Two re of that set will now be broken always happens so." "Are you sc ;erstitious," asked the count, "as ily to believe that two more will be >ken?' "I know it." "Then let us : it off our minds." And, taking twe the cups by the handles, he dashed ,m together. The anger and dismay the countess proved conclusively Lt she had not seriously held to her erstition. It also loosed any hold absurd idea may have had on the ads of the children. A Splendid Catch. 'he Old Lady-Would John be a )d catch for Mary? 'he Old Man-Splendid! He's in the t-ball business and his life is insuree $10,000.-4.tlanta Constitution, Discouraged Them. dinister-So you say that you Oa nie boys out fishing on Sunday, Bob ?. I hope you did -zomething to dis urage them. 3obbe-Oh, yes, sir, I stole their ball larlem Life. A Slighit Mistake. foreigner, not absolutely certain ot the shades of meaning in our Enn h words, recently attended a recep 1 at Vassar College at which 'the ng ladies of the institution were ar ed in all the bewildering beauty of ning toilets. \Saild he to the Presi It: "I have never before seen so nd a sight as those young ladies li ir nightgowns."-St. Albans Messen ITY OF MANCHURIA. imperial treasure, the acnmulat.!on c ng to about $2,000,000,000. ioubtless much of the Chinese Em or's panic over the successes of the 133 marching upon Moukden Is caus by frantic fear that this enormous tune will be taken from him, and uce him, no matter what the final :come of the war may be, to compar r-e beggary! It Is reported that the asure has already been secretly re ved from the palace to a less imper d hiding place. If the treasure has In taken outside the walls of Mcouk.. i-which Is extremely improbable ~annot have been carried far. In present anarchic condition of Man iria it would be as wvell to leave the ;t treasure for the Japanese victors to expose it to pillage by the turbu t Manchurians. bould the imperial treasure of Mouk ifall into the hands of the Japanese, nid it belong to the latter govern ut? Most assuredly, and the only lized power that would be liable tc ke even an attempt at a protest uld be England. Should England erfere to prevent this splendid loot Count Yamagata's armty, the Jap se, who have a passion for history, aId sardonically inqjuiraj "What ot India?" ,~ LET US ALL LAUGI JOKES FROM THE PENS Of VARIOUS HUMORISTS. !leasant Iveldents Oecurring the WddM Over-Saydugs that Are Cheerful 1to Old or Young-Funny Sletean tha Everybody WM Enjoy Xeediag The Bicyc1i Cult. Dealer-Here Is a blcycle for $15W. Customer-Fine wheel! Beautiful! A xiumph of art, I must say. WishI could afford to pay that much, but I can't. "Well, I'll let you have It for $50." "Eh? Only $50? Why didn't you ay that at once?" "Because if I had you would have mid it was a miserably made macbu aot worth taking home."-New Tori Weekly. The Evils of Poverty. Prison Visitor-My poor man, how did fou get in here? Convict-Hard luck. I didn't manage to steal enough to fee a first-class lawh Ver!-Truth. A Sure Sign. "I tell you," said Mrs. Hunkles, as he let the illustrated paper drop in her , "our Senator is gettin' ter be bigger national affairs." "What makes you 1hink so?"'- "These here comic pictures pir making him uglier en' ug e." Dallas (Texas) Times-Herald The Only safte War. She-Do you think a girl ought tb let t man kiss her before she marrier him? T-T-Yes, if she expects to be kisse# at all.-I e rk World. A Modest Dumbleton-An honest blest work of God. Flasher-Thank you. old boy. Very lew men would have had the quicknets of perception to adjust that remark tr my appearance.-Richmond Dispatch, And She Has a Large Circulation. Funnyman-See that young lady bir eyclist in bloomers? Reminds oge ot ,ood advertisement, doesn't sheT Dullhead-How's that? Funnyman-Proportions are perfet and display is excellent.-Printer's Ink Would Take All Their link Ragolet-Say, Nevvy, dis paper say, ,e czar has a incum of $25,000 a da. Wish we was czars, eh, Nevvyl Nevawork-Naw, J1st tink f do -vork we'd have doin* do Incum tar pan.-Springfield (Mass) UUion He Did Not Take It. DIay, pop, do people take snuff now* days?" "Sometimes, my son." "Oh, then, it's all right. "What Is all right?" "Why, I heard mamma telling Aunt tmy that you wasn't up to snuff."-D t Free Press. Excited His Admiration. "What's the matter?" said the poice Laan to the pugilist, "I was les' lookin' t dat gLIrl across de street." "The one with the big fashlonabLf sleeves ?" "Yes. Say, If her muscle dis dem she mist be able to hit a ton."--Weahingtoi star. ____. Early Monday Morning. Hubby-Why are you dressed a. sarly? And Monday morning. tod! Wify-The first one at the bargain. sounter has the pick of the 2.cen9 gloves.-Cilncinnat1 Tribure. Only frona Naue "I hear so much about your beauti :nl pictures, Mr. Cadmium; do Yod* :hlnk you could paint miy poat?". 'I don't think so. You see, I only paint 'rom nature."-Boston Budget According t~O Plan. "Why do you leave me alone evers; ivening?" asked Mrs. MEns, tarful. y, as her husband put on his hat pre )aratory to going out. "Why, my dear," replied he, "I mar. :ied you for yourself alone."-Niew kork Sun. If She Thought. Belle-I wouldn't marry a ms WhoW .thought knew less than I did. Blanche-Nor I; but I wouldn't mind f I merely thought that he thought so -Kate Field's WashingtoA., Real Metaphor. Max-Jack won that Detroit heirese sands down. Jax-Well, how did you egpect hinr o win her-feet up? Max-Cert. He made love'to R4r hf he surf.-Burlington (Iowa) Gazette; Cause of the Delay. "I wonder why Maxim's flying-ma :hine is so long about getting out?'' tuerled the scientifie boarder. "As near as I can figure It otit," said he Cheerful Idiot, "the trouble seems be a defective flew."-Clncinnati ~ribune. ____ .-A Tragic Complication. "So you refuse me!" said Charley Cal' sow, bitterly. "Of .course," said the chirming widow. "Won't you even be a sister to me?" "No, I'm engaged to marry your .nther. I'll be a mother to you."-Wash Ington (D. 0.) Star. He Reminded Her. Mrs. QuIggs-Your husband reminde me of some one. Mrs. Neighbors-He reminds me of Ms mother every time the cooking does 't suit him.-Philadelphia Record. Female Labor in lPsaaae., One-third of the females of E'ance ver fourteen years of:.age ire- farm