Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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TRI-WEEKLY EiITION. WINH1SBORO9S. C. APRIL 191894.9. *THE OLD COUNTRY ROAD. RI Where did it come trom and where did it go? that vas t estion that puzzled us so. an A ei the dust of the hfihway tha bu By the farm like a river-the old country road. te We stood with our hair sticking up through the an evown an( (Nor bt as the people went up and went dowi, And we wished in our hearts, as our eyes fairlY glowed,&b We w@ul4nd where it came from-the old coun* in Sto"ICo We remember the peddler who came with his be aanwn the old highway and never went back; k D And we wondered what things he had seen a th he strode Fr some fabulous place up the old country mi road, yo We remerber the stage drivers look of deight i And the erack of his whip as he whirled into And we thught we could read in each glance to be bestowed ca A tale of strange life up the old country road. Ibismovers came by like a ship in full sail, fo ith ruder behind in the shape of a pail With a rollicking crew and a cow that was bI towed n With a rope on her horns down the old country road. Oh! Itho tp of the hill was the rim of the worla. And thedust of the summer that o, er it curle1t Was the curtain that hid from our sight the a-ode Of the fairies that lived up the old country road. hi The old country road! I can see it still flow Down the hi of my dreams as it did long ngo, U1 And I wish even now I cou'd lay off mv 1o And rest b the side of the old country ro.d. -Ladies' ome ournal. 0 HIS JEALOUSY CURED. It cc Mr. Andrew Frosty chanced to re, al side in one of a long straight row of houses, no one of which bore any a special mark on its front by which it Pe could be distinguished from another. b< ch had seven steps and a portico. q1 rack on another tem. Mr. Frosty al *y jealous of hiswife. .ow, le ul thing for a man to b wife at all, with or_. whn-iamrrwile p1 iabit as that they ad raw their cotton caps bE eyes and say good night to in d. Living is no sort of an V< to them. le But whether Mr. Frosty bad any reason to bc jealous of his wife is not h wnat we are going to settle. And ci yet we never thought he could have, si for a more amiable wife than she k miade him it would be hard to nod. u Mrs. Frosty was young and beauti ful, and her manners were very tak. a jog. It may be that these were Mr. i Frosty's reasons for his jealousy: but ta It so, why didn't he marry a plainer 4 Woma ? Not many doors of! and In the same row of aweilings lived Col. ,awyer, e: who rather prided himself on being w esteemed a gentleman. Witnout as- n suming to be what is popularly s termed a ladles man, he neverthe ess in was extremtly p-rticular in his car- F -r:age toward them-aiuing always to Itupress them with a sense of his i er- i feet tjurity, chivalry, and truth. 'No sa one in the neighborhood ever sus- ii pected him of being cap-able of in- LI eulting anyone-least of all a lady. Mothers held him uD to their sprout, s ing sons as an examD'e of the lofty N and true, and iathers spoke of hima h to their daughters, and hoped that it ft they ever thought of marriage they 1I would be satisited with nothing leiss EL than a character like this. Coming home musingly, and with A his head bent, one evening, the h Colonel thought no such accident was possible as that he should mistake nis ) own house, especally as he had been D sa and out that way so many timnes. ri Perhaps the very fact that he felt r such a condidence wa~s the greater h resson why he should make a mistake fi after all. 'But as he was very much occupied with his reflections he aban- b doned himself entirely to what he Enew of the way home, and thougiht' he should reach there in good time. S ce was that he quietly U slipped himself through Mr. Frosty's L front door, hung up his hat and coat fl in the hail, and starteQ ior the din- i ing-rom. : As all the nlouses In the row were a so much alike on the outside, their si internal arrangrements were pretty 0 much on the saume pattern. Mr.' Frosty's bail seemed like his own, and hi the dining-; 'om door opened where p ~s did. The instant he opened the door he [I began to aw;'ken to his error. The table was spread in the middle of t~ e e room, and Mrs. Frosty sat near the u grate reading. ; "Ah?' he exclaimed, bowing and V scrap ng confusedly. '1 beg 'ardon! t Really, Mrs. Fro-ty, I beg pardon:" t In a moment the astonished lady b was on her feet, her face lushed with D the natuiral excitement of so un looked-for a visit. She knew not what to say, "This is a ludicrous mistak6, I de cdare, Mrs. Frosty," said the Colone!. c "Here I am invading your house, a when I thought I was safe and snug t in my own. This comes of thesne c houses wearing such similar faces. I But It is my first mistake and I hope e you will excuse me-"~ Mrs. Frosty comprehended in-1 atantly, and laughed heartily. "1 may get caught so myself. you e Enow," she said, "and we are always 3 grateful ror a call from you, Col. Saw- I; yer. Now you are here, and dinner a will soon be on the table why don't i you sit down with us? I am expect- t ing my husband ev.ery m nute." c The Colonel began to thank her i and excuse hi-tseif on account of urgent business engagements for the evening, Dut while he was doing so bhe front door was heard to open. "There," said Mrs. Frosty, "my husl-and is coming now. You'll not be detained any longer than you would at home. Come, .1 think you'd Along came Frosty through the I hall, and his sour face would have i turned sweet milk in a twinkling. Tbe instant he caught the sound af a male voice in the dining-room I 05. As -soon as he could cdesp nz as faras thedoor in his stealthy ,v and look in through the crevice I see who was there, his rage ,st all hounds and made him a anorar- -adman. Colonel Sawyer I his wife were in the room alone, I that was quite enough. "Now, what does this mean, sir?" >uted the enraged husband, dash , up before the thunderstruck onel. "This is just what I have m expecting for a long time. I ew there was some mischief like is afoot. What are you doing in r house? TAI me, sir-or march arself out soouer tMan you came 1 The Colonel had got over his as ishment enough to cominence a Im explanation when Mrs. Frosty, rsting into tears, threw herself be re ner angry husband and implored m to be silent, for it was a trifling [stake. and Colonel Sawyer would imediately explain it all. But the enraged man would hear "Leave Me room!" he exclaimed to 3 wife. "I'll hear nothing f iom u! I've had disgrace enough brought . me already. Leave the room." Mortitled and in tears she passed .r. to brood over her mis ry and rtitication alone. Col. Sawyer essayed to begin, thougb was exceedingly hard work and he uld accomplish nothing but witb most super-human effort. "I mistook the house, sir, that is 1," said he. "My intentions were rfectly honorable, and out of this iuse, sir, you shall not call them in Lestion without being held person ly re-ponsibe. 1am quite ready tc ve the place, I assure you." Ile began to do so. "That is all very well to say," ro led the jealous husband. "Lshould [vise you in the fut;5re' "newever t< a little more careful before vou gC to other persons' houses and see il ur own number extends the whol( ngth of the street!" col. Sawyer withdrew, resolved t( ive no further words with such eatu e. He saw that be was be de himself with jealousy, and b( aew that speech would be wastet on him. I erbaps it. was a coupte of month ter this that a party of gentlemer agered rather late at luncheon at , vern, and foraot that it was fairl, o'clock in the afternoon, until the, und it had long ago struck ti. They were all jolly fellows: thei: res were rdashing and tbeir cheek: ere getting rosy. The luncheot ust have put them in the best o irits-or, rather, the best of spirit! them. Ano. g them was Andrev rostv If there was anyone of them par cularly "nielow," it was but fair t< ,y it was Frosty. He had e;identl: uproved his opportunities durinj ie luncheon. Going out into the bracing air afte ich a banquet, Mr. Iroty began ti el the e :ects %ery sensibly. B: k and by crook he finally salle, und to the street in wh ch hi )micie stood, pusbing along till hi 0ught he had got about where hi iht to live, and went up the steps fter hanging up his greatc at an< it in the hail, he stepped along t' e door of the din~ng-roomn an< ened it. Who should suddenly ap ar to him as he looked around th, >omu but Col. Sawyer's wife! Frost: :bbed his eyes, stammered, mad< alf a bow, felt wholly lost, an< nally gave it up. 1 declare:" he exclaimed, lookin: lanker than the wall; 'I've mis Lken the house:" "Oh no, my. dear sir," said Col wyer, immedilately rising and going p to him, "you have done no suci -ng; you know you have not! Yoi ave only stolen in here to bring dis race upon my family. I've heei ispectig this, sir, for a long time ad now. sir, I'll just walk out my lf with you anid lbe at the troubli finding your own house for you." Upon this the Colonel put on hi at and coat, and insisted on accomn anying Mr. Frosty home. N~ot dabie of explanation would h ste to. "Oh, no. no:" he would say, when ver Frosty began to apologize. uderstand it well enough. I se ow it is. It's all very well to sa a've lost the way into my house Ut I should for the future advse yo efore going into other persona ouses to just look and see If you wn number runs th length of tb Lreet." Just the language Frosty ha1 D re used to him, and just wha saled his lips. Frosty was floorea ompletely. But that was the bes f it. The Colonel insisted on goin ome with him and going in; and n "ered his services in such a way tha 'rosty could not have shaken him oil yen if he was not himsef rendere abmissive by reason of his own moi ifcation. The Colone!. therefore, went it nd told Mrs. Frosty about it, whi >thoroughly pleased that amiabl idv that. in view of previous circunt lances she set up a resistless laug ) the face of her humbl d lord. i he midst of which his very polite e~ art t.ook occasion to quietly with ut Fio-ty was thoroughly cure f his jealousy, for he admitted thai Swas quite ;,oss ble for a respectabi1 )an to mistake even the number o is own door.--Ti-it. In tM Neck. Sunday-School Teacher - Nov lobby, where did Adam 7:et i *pple? Robby-Where de Cha t .e ax. -Judge. On warm dav sound travels at thr S FOR SUNDAY READING St THE GOSPEL OF GRACE IS HERE io EXPOUNDED LI God's Kingdom Ruleth Over All-Every Storm Brings Sunihine -- Suffer Little Chnldren' - THapiness the Foundatior Stone of all Mo ality. God's Providence. S OD'S pro-;idence L universal. "His kingdom is over all." le can gov ern all only by c .n rulling each. Ile manages the' stream, because Be presides at th3 fountain. God's providence is mi-, nute arid speciflc.;G Great doors swing 1 on small hinges. God's very great- a ness enables Him o co care for the little; only the infnite can pay attention to inflnitesimals. It is --trifles that make perfect on." Telescopes reveal the maguitude of God's creation; microscopes, the mi nuteness of Ilis care. God's provi dence is beneticent. "All things' work together for good." 'As for you, ye thought evil avainst me, but God meant it unto go3d." Even the W wrath of man is made to subserve God's bene.:cent purpose. "All things are yours." "-Fire and hail; snow and vapor: stormy wind, fulill ing Ills word." ",I know tho thouht.s that I thiLge-owar ou, - thoughts 9f p and not of evil to ' give you an expected end." "Trust a in the Lord."--Henry 'M. Saudcrs. L To Be Happy. There is nothing better than to bL 1 oappy; joy is the real root of mor- e ality; no virtue is worth praising L which does not spring fro:n minds con- a tented and conviced, and free of drcad ; and gloom. To religion was ever y divine which ;elied on terror instcad a of love; and no philosophy will bear a any good fruit which propounds des lair and CI duces annihilation. This a Is where, by their own true institict', Ithle grreat poets hiave done so muchb more for mankind than mo t of iti benefactors, delighting as they do in life, and preserving amid it- deepest L mysterie; and hardest puzz'esa divine i: screnity about its origin and purpo;e. t Ubserve our Engli,h Shakspeare: a How calm, how complacent, how a sured his glorious genius V aiways ab ds! A page of him taken almost anywhere-set hesieic a jpage of moderzi pes-imisma-iz liK-: the speech of a prince in iis plea ure house compared with the nroan- 0 iugs of the sick wretch in a spital. All genuine poets, from Iomer to - Browning, are radically joyoosi Keats writes: They shaIl !w accounted Loot-ki;' w ho -inply tell tho Iato lVart-asing tin And Ilatiz says: 11 is wnispered of me in Shiraz, that I was sad. but I what had I to do with sadness?" Art in all its highest forms be-ars no message so imperative as to empn ha size the beauty and maintain the dignity and delight of life, anld you may judge first-class wri'.ers and painters, as we shall some day judge philosop~hers, by their tidelity to tils wholesome errand of joy.-Sir Ed wiu trnold Under the Clouds. There is no journey of life but hans as5 clouded days; and there ate sine day)s in which our eyes are so id~nded with tears that we tindl it hard to see I our way, or even read God's prornises. Those days that have a bright sun rise followed by sudden thunderclaps I an.! oursts o~f unlooked-for sorrows, t are the ones that test certain of our graces the mosat severely. Yet the law of spiritual eyesight, very closely t resemi~es the lamw of physical optics. When we come suddenly out of the t daylight irto a room even moderately I rarkened we can discern n-thing, but t the pupil of our eye'graduailly en- I larges until uns enI ob.~ects he0 -omie visible. Even so the pupii or the eve of faith ha-, the bles-ed faculty of enlarging in dark hours of hc-: reavement, so that we dis-: cover that our loving F-ather's hand is holding the cup of trial, and by and by the dloom becomes Ilum ~inous with glory. The fourteent h chapter of John never fails with such rsweet musie uponi our ears as when we catca its sweet straIns aid the pause; of some territic storm. "1.et not your heart be~ trub icd: ye ic ieve in God, believe also mn u:e. 3 y ill not leave you co'mfortiess." Enriching Onzs L.ife. e If all our young women realixeai. t as we gladly recognize that many of ,them do. how much brighter and Iricher their lives might be made b.y a generous literary duet, they wouldl early cultivate a taste for reading, since this is an appetite that grows Sby feedinig, but is di;ticult to areu re e n later years. It is not best -at lirst to undertake heavy, ex haustive treatises upon subrjec-ts of which one knows little an-1 cares lews since this method wearies adl dis courages at the outset. liather let one start with the re-olve to add daily to her stock of inforniation t something fresh and valuable upon e subjects in which she is already in terested, to master thoroughly each new fact, andl to ailow the interest which increased knowledge is sure ti awaken to carry her int~o broader .elds. _ _ _ 14 This You~r Ca-'?~ There are t'.-day thousands of pro Lessors of religion who can gh e no better reasons for points of faith e which they hold than that they were so ir-med by thrair reliius t~each Let all su a search the Scri0. ires, and when they find their in ruction in confict with the plain ord, discard it, and obey God. Only can you "be ready always to give i answer to every man tbat asketh u a reason of the hope that is io >, with meekness and fear." Notes and Comments. A. N. BARBER, of the Bouldeck 1, Congregat'oral Church, claims be the most fashful Sunday-school acher in America. He hasn't tissed a Sunday in twent-six vears. REV. TrHOMAS T. STONE, D. i). ho is now residin in iiddlesei ounty, Nass., recently conipleted Is -3rd year. He is the oldest liv g graduate of Bowdoin Coll'ege, laine, and has served 70 years ir I be ministry. CANos'N FARRAP, the eminent de nder of the Episcopal Church in reat Britain, Is authority ior the atement that there are 7,000 ergy in the Church of England who e moving onward toward the RLo. an Catholic Church. TIE MNormons are lying low and ttng Utah Territory drift toward atehoo:1, says a well-known Salt age City gentleman. When the me , omes, and it is impossitle for le nation to reverse the work done the enabling act, if it passes, the >wers of the leaders in the church Ill be exercises in a 1;olitical way, Ad Utah wil bed Mormon State i ery sense of the work. Favors Indefinite Sentences. ..Very strong artrument for th Indente sentence" of crim'nals, ith pilobationary Charles A. Collin the recent anniversary meeting of ae Massacliusetts Prison Association. rofessor Coll n regards this system 3 "'the foundation corner stone of ny rat onal, scientific methods of :eat:ng 1 rison conve ts." "The rausformat'on of the criminal into ,ervi eable member of socety," he id, "is the only effective protection soc ety against h'm. The mere miiporary caging of the er'uinal as a ilu beast is a protection to society )r the time be'ngit s true. But if, L.en he is let out of his (age, he is oise than when he went in, he may e more wary and t unn ng thereafter, uta he w-11 be more dangerous to iety than before he was caged." nder the present system the conv:ct d.scharged at the end of a fixed arrn with a new suit of clothes and few 'lollars in his I oket. -How iany graduates of Harvard Uni ers t7,' Professor4 Collin asks, dro ped upon the world in such a shoil. WA)", a hnf fj6,_ PU;i" haiti tcr, -. itT1 - 'reputaorf hich Ilarvard can give them, w th u friends except su h as beckon them o haunts of vi e and criminal ways f earnirg a living-how many H1ar ard graduates under such ireum tan es would get tigough the next wo years without being compelled to eg, burrow or steal?: Bow, then can i oi ex. e t the d scharged prison con eet, w th the firinest of good resolu ions (as inany at that moment have, ut with no satisfa tory references to revious employment, with no friends whom h.' an lborrow. intoxi' atcd vith the sud sense of freedom, to vod the commiission or new crimes efore he can earn an honest living?' The Power of Habit. The other morning, a tall, stouw an with a straggy,half-g.own beard .d e ery indication of poverty in his oparel, entered the liggs House and proached thie desk where Proprie tol e Witte was stand ing. "I have not had anything to eat xcpt a sandwich yesterday morning or two days,'' he said in a Voice that rebled with weakness. "Can't 'ou let me have something?" 3Mr. De Witte gave him a card it he sieward, arid pretty soou hc was -raciously disposing of a pjlentitul reakrast. When he had finished he mconciously dipped his lingers in he water glass, passed them over his ij s. andi drying them on the napkin rose from the table. Drawing him elf up lie smiled with satisfaction, n 1,utting his hand into his pocket ihis tattered tet lhe drew forth a ime and proitered it to the .aston shed waiter. When the latter re used the tip, the man appeared to waken from a dream, and with red ening face he muttered something m~ huriedly went out. Hiis trait. beariig muanner and poise ~eneraly were those pf a man who. id known better day.and the un-d nisiious re: (,4nition *p the water howed that the bower of habit ac 1uired in the aays of his prospierity 'ad as-erted itself when the mlomen ,arv pleasure of a square meal had :aused2 himt to forggt his present ight. -__ _ _ _ _ _ _ Friendship. Fiedship has its duties. You we your friend sympathy in h s sor OWS and in his joys. You owe hIm. 'on idence and the information a bout' murself whikh c.onidenace implies. I et that information; is to i.e giveni ;ith a fertain reserve, so that you do ot seemi to force your affairs upon um, or to make him responsile for eon. Of crises in which he could not u( you, or wouldl be pained by his nab) lity, it 1s often wise to say noth .ig. There is a ine subtle inst nct which guides in such matters. How aver near your triend -bings j'ou to* aim. you are to respe t his individu ility. Informat~on that is purely personal you must wait for. Ir lie so not volunteer it. be satistier that he has his rea-ons. I o nit seek -above all, do not claim-i t is a right of your friendeblp. Be gener us, not exactong. "ASH BARREL JIMMY." . 'he Salvation Army's Frirst Convert in thi United States. The first Salvation Army converl in America is still living and serving 'he army in Boston. His conversion was brought about by Com. - missioner Rail ton, then in com mand of the American forces of the army, and u pt. Thomas Byrnes, of the New York po "ASRDAfRRL JIMMT." lice. Mr. Byrnes ;as an inspector of police at the :ime, early in 1880. James Kemp, or "Ashbarrel Jim. ny," as he is more commonly called, BOW "ASHBARREL JIMMY" WAS FOUND. as born in England and was early eft an orphan. His childhood was ipent on the London streets and be nore the age of 10 he was arrested for idinkenness and sent to prison. At 7 he was sent to this country and in Vew York soon became identified vith the worst element of the city. 1e became a thief and a drunkard nd about half his time was spent in rison. He also joined the notorious F hyo gang, a company of robbers and arroters. In March, 1880, the Salvatio& rmy came to New York and began o hold their meetings. Jimmy bought it would be great sport to go Lnd see them but, finding an admis ion fee was charged at their meet ng, concluded to spend the little noney in his possession for drink. Iccordingly he got drunk. His com Sions painted his face and rolled ai sawdust and then kicked him )ut o e saloon. As he tumbled .nto the sLteet his hat blew off and, n his efforts -% get it again, Jimmy fell Into an asu barrel head first. rhere he stuck and the6 'I-e police found bm- They could not gemnnu 57it^86? he was dragged by the feet to the station house still In the bar. rel, yelling at the top of his lungs. When Jimmy was brought before the judge he was a sorry sight. His race was cut and bleeding, the paint nd sawdust still covered it, and his othes were in rags. The Judge would have condemned him to Black well's Island, but Inspector Byrnes pleaded for him and suggested that be be turned over to the Salvation Army that they might see whether they could do anything with him. The Judge consented and Jimmy was allowed to go, on condition of attend ing their meetings. He went to their hail, but a policeman there re fused to let him euter and knocked bimu down with a club. Commis toner Railton, of the army, went tc limmy's assistance and he was brought into the ball. In time he was converted. He has persevered, nd to-day the Salvation Army has ro more zealous or trustworthy mem er than "Ashbarrel Jimmy." Cheap Indelibl Ink. Banana luice is said to make an ad nirable mndeilible ink. The juice or dead-ripe banana certainly makes a tain' that even old Father Time him elf does not seem to De able to re nove. There are certainly, at pres at no known chemicals which will essen it in the least degree. The uice from a thoroughly decayed anana is a bright, clear carmine. The Mystic Plant. The mistletoe is by no means, even n a state of nature, a rare plant. In nodern times it Is regularly culti rated, the viscous seed. if carefully nserted in a notch in many tree arks, sprouting with ease, though :ts growvth Is extremely slow. But rees selected for this crop are socn ncapable of producing any other; ror. the sap heing intercepted by the roots of the parasite, the proper ripening of the fruit Is prevented, and in time the tree is killed. Hence little by little the trade -In this dis inctive feature of Christmastide has been drifting over the Channel, where either land Is cheaper or apple treer re less valued AIItty Got It. Bobby-Oh, mawma! Tabby's got awfully rich since you've been away. Mamma-Arnd how did she get rich, Bobby? Bobby-Why, papa wade the men give '5 cents to the kitty every time they bei three of a kind ir better.--Truth. Wvhat a Jaw. William Hecker, a strong man of Augusta. Ga., can move a freight car with his teeth. What a reputation a jaw like that would win for its rwner in the line of professiona7 rugilism!Philadelphia Ledger. Innocent Sarcam.3 Little Willie-I wish I was you~, Mr. Selfmade. Mr. Seltnmade (who has come to dinner)-And why. Wilie? Willie - 'Cause you don't get your ears pulled for eating with our krcife. SFR1NK IS OF SPIE NUMOROUS SELECTIONS FROMI OUR EXCHANGES. Bokes of Preachers, Lawyers. Doctors. ant Editors-Some of Them Very Dry and Others Somewhat Juicy-They WIU Aid Digestion if Perused After Mean8 The Astute Ticket Man. Citizen (hurriedly)-Ticket and a half for Po'dunk. Ticket Agenti (snappishly)-Do you want the half ticket for that big girl by your side? Citized-The whole ticket is for her, but she insisted on paying fare for her favorite doll- so to humor her I want the half ticket also. Ticket Agent -Um-er-how old is the doll? Sood News. ___ ?4amma's Wisdom. Aunty (shocked)-Do you and yout sister quarrel over your candy this way when at home? L'ttle Johnny --No'm. Mamma always gives us so much we both has plenty.-Good News. Too Dangerous. The boy-What'll yer gib me. Uncle Peter, ter hold yer hoss fer yer? Uncle Peter-I'll gib yer er whack in der jaw. Yer rapscallion, yo' t'ink I'se gwine ter trust er fiery animal like dis yere hoss wid yo'?-Judge. V A New Theatrical Suggestion. A New York manager has come ti, the conclusion that the way to ele vate the stage is to have an endowed theater. Mighty good idea. It should have, first, an endowment of brains; second, of actors. ana. third, of people who will pay to see the per formances. Such an endowment ould go.--Indianapolis Timf A Bad SpeilL "Why, how is this, my dear sir?' inquired a Harlem doctor. "You sent me a letter stating that you had been attacked by small-pox, and I find you suffering from rheumatism." "Well, you see, doctor, it's like this," said the patient, "the! e wasn't a soul In the house who could speli rheuma. \ism. "-Texas Siftings. Sure of Himself. City Editor-Weil, what did you Iear about tbat accident on the P., D. & L. railroad? New reporter Oh, it was nothing. City Editor Nothing! Why. the dispatches say it was terrible. New l'eporter Well, I just came from the president of the road, and he ought to know. Life. Poor Paxp:. Little Dick-Papa dioesn't have much fun. HeI has to go to business every day. Little 1ot-That's to get money, 'cause he's a promider, mmmla says. "A what?" "A pro v der." "Well. if papa is a provider, 1 wonder whait mamma is?" "I ex pect she's a divider. "-Good News. She K~new It. Mr. Dinwiddie-l see that Mrs. GlaO tone has written an article on chil dren, in which s e sars the:' need change. Mrs. Dinwiddie-D~on't I know that? Dro'L they come to me two or three times a 'day and ask for a ni':kel or a dime:-Pittsur zb (hronicle-Telegragh. Tacks C->lectors. -Truth. Anachits EtelOh I see. Tsyi it eby Din'Dare TkeIt teson (Sunda mrin -Don %r givein mer ny cle hi otndm teyro Mrs Ctrso-h, I never Dnew nyo tres Te befre Caterson- Well, I am going to ch urch and I am afraid it might keep me awake!-Puck.____ An Ingenious Tramp. ITramp-Say. governor, you wanter get a medal from the humane so ciety? Gentleman-Through you? Tramp-Yes. Give me 81 and you'll saye both our lives. -Hallo. Ma~bne glas bling is~ a failure. Tms advertisement !s being pubr fished by the daily papers: "Big Money-Owners of valuable secret process for doubling weight of but ter, sweetening and purifying bad, will sell rights to ag -nts and othe-4 to use it on reasonable terms. Apply or address - -." We would ad vise our readers, if they are ever un fortunate enough to come in contact with the advertiser or any man who buys this "valuable secret," to keep a tight grip on his valuables; for eithex one of the precious rascals would meal a widow's woodpile. Taz death of the "Danbury News Man" will remind everybody that the peculiar humor of which he was one of the most striking professors-the humor of the exaggerated and the grotesque-is of very recent origin. Hardly a generation has elapsed since it frst made its appearance. Yet in that time it has circled the earth, and has done more to make the United States known and understood abroad than any other force. Two or three fortunes have been made out of it in London by the newspaper imitators of it; and a faint reflection of its roguish distortion of solemn fact is to be found in the literature of our stately British cousins. TrE average blank marriage csr-Y ,ficate, as sold by stationers, is uF worthy of its ultimate use. It is a piece of fantastic type and border work, printed usually-on cheaD paprr. It is a priceless bit of ccurse, when chirographic art trans forms It into a certificate of mar. riage; but it ought to be a thing of I beauty, even-though it may not prove to be a joy forever. They do these things better in Belgium. The mar riage certificate there is an artistic little book, of the finest tinted paper, bound in morocco, with gilded edges. The book, in addition to the form of I certiflcate, contains useful informa tion about the marriage laws of Bel gium, hints about the care of chil dren and blank forms for their names qnd birthdays. HANrGIG would be too good for the miscreants who have exterminated the Yellowstone Park herd of buffalo. With the possible exception of a small herd in Texas these were the last American bison remaining in a dte T 'Mbe Canadian orth But for the fortunate forethought of in dividuals who have reduced a number of specimens to. captivity the total extinction of the race would now be a certainty. As it is, there is still a possibility of its revival. "Ben Har rison" and his companions at Golden Gate Park have suddenly been ele vated into a position of immense im portance. They are like the mem bers of Noah's menagerie that were charged with the duty of restocking the earth after the flood. OLONEL THOMs OcEItTREE, onc, of Texas, now _of the world at large, has not retained his sturdy, primitive Americanism. He has feasted of the fleshpots of Europe and has lost his simpile tastes. He now despises the Ithings in which he once rejoiced. While a witness in a lawsuit at New York the other day he was asked: "Is it true that you won that gold watch in a game of poker?" to which, growing -edl in the face and purple in the neck, Colonel Ochiltree replied passionately: "That is an infamous question." There was a time when Colonel Ochiltree would not have con *sidered the query infamous. There was a time when he would have 7 beamed with modest pride and shouted joyously: "You bet I did, and $175 into the bargan." He might even have favored the court with that anedote of the poker game wwerein he lost $20,002-"the worst of it being," as he was accustomed to add "that $2 of it was cash." But C0.- nel Ochiltree has evidently suf fere~d by contact with the effete des poiss He probably takes a bath -nea week and wears underclothes. T t:y wouldn't know him in Texas THrE news that the V'anderbilts are on t he point of buying up a job lot 01 Southern railroads is not altogethber unwelcome. The concentration of g treat railroad interests under the cntrol of one man or one set of men is act desirable as a general proposi tio.n, but it has certain advantages. In the case of the Vanderbilts the ad vantages are distinctly pereeptible. B:egirnnn with the old Commod.;re the Vanderbilts have always sought ti conduict their railroa-is as business er.terpres !ather than as nmediuimi for st ck jobbin~g. If the Vander bit-; securer control of the Sc'uthern r(eadethe traveling public will reap the benefit. The lines will be put In good condition and the service will be madle tihe best possible. The Vanderbilts are not exactly philan thropists, but they know how to ren railroids, and that is all the public med caro about themi. E A cr year. itistimated, there is an averse.; of 6,000 murders comn r it ted in the United States, 1:.0 legai Sa2iuS, no i-00 lynchinn&