University of South Carolina Libraries
TRI-WEEKLY EDITION. WiNNSBOROS. C.. AUGUST t9 1893. ES A LISHED 1849. MILLINERY, MILLINERY, MILLINERY Always full in Hats and Bonnets, Flow ers, Feathers, Laces, Nets, Veiling and la test novelties of the season. A competent and experienced mil liner in.. this depart ment fully posted in Styles, Trimmings, Etc. Special attention given to Mourning and made up Hats and Bonnets. Renewing Crepe Veils, Etc. J.0. BOAG. Dry Goods, Fancy Goods, Notions, White Goods, Carpetings, Cloths, Matting, anos, I Parlor and Chapes ans. Fifty new and im ed light-running Family Sew'T Machines, vertical and undt d of t-i best makes, differ styles and prices. MAo,'' lot of good second hadS .wing Machines for sa ap, by J. 0. BOAG. ?ookillg Stmm uad tensib Different Sizes. CLOCKS, CLOCKS, zamly Groceries unConfectioneries. J. 0. BOAO. Always on Hand Single, Open and Top Buggies and D oude-Seated Vehicles. One. Horse Wagons. Singe and double harness. Pianos, Organs, Sewing Ma thines,/Cooking Stoves, Clocks, Buggies ansd Wagons, are all shipped direct from their va rious factories, therefore no agents expenses or commis sionis to be paid for ~by pur thaser: The best goods for the lowest prices for cash or good paper, a i. 0, BOAG'S DLD STAND, 1z ort 0. BOAQisfle Wr LL; To do, and not to dream, To b-, and not to seem, Purpose to fulfill, To strive in bpite of pain, Failure. diszrace, dislaia-' This, I think, is Wil:. -Herbert D. Ward. in Youth's CompanioOs A THEFT CONDONED. BY GERTRCDE SifTH. One of the seven houses in Pawnee faced toward the south. It was the house where Mrs. Dyer lived. The other houses faced the west. The rail road track was across the street from these houses, with a brwid plank walk and a little unpainted bcx of a station. The houses in Pawnee were all one story wooden buildings, with the gable ends toward the street. Mrs. Dyer's house was painted a dull red; the othei houses were not painted. It had been a warm day and the sun had shone glaringly on the unbroken prairie around Pawnee. The town was ou a slight rise ol ground. You could see more that twenty miles in three directions. A narrow strip of woods broke the view on the north, half a mile away. Mrs. Dyer stood in her front door and looked over the prairie. The railroad track wound away toward the south and disappeared where the earth and sky seemed to meet. The sun was going down and the short thin prairie. grass looked white and gold. The rail road track shone like silver. There were no clouds. In places the blue ol the sky was so light that it was almost white. The air was cool and clear afte the warm day. "The sun's going down without ana fuss to-night," Mrs. Dyer said, sitting down (i the doorstep. "Just droppia oJ the eJge. like the string that held ii had been cut." She folded her arms in her lap and turned her face away from the bright liht. :S:;e was a small, old womat with th1: features. She wore her hair, which was still very black, combed smoothly behind her ears. Her eye were olack, with a keen .look of resist anc- in them. This look was empha. sid in tLe hles around her mouth. Mrs. Dyer lived alone. 11er son kepi t little store and the postofice in th front room of one of the othei houses. Two years before when hei hrsisand had died Mrs. Dyer had come Wes; to 'c near her son. Her son had invited her to live with- them, but. she had refused. "You ain't go room for.your own. ] didn't come out here t> be beholden tc anybody. Ill have my own place, and you'll see enough of me, dodgin' in and out, as it is." ,he had spent the greater pat of the time watenig the carpenters at work or her house, during her forced stay at her son's, urliug them to work faster, and al last in her impatience moved in before they had fimshed sbinghng the root. Sho had dc'.ded to postpone the plaster ing until some time when she shouid go away on a visi. The sun had gone down. The air was a soft gray and very stu!. "Well, I mustn't sit here gettin' the camps," she said, getting up from the step. "I do say I ain't seen them mover wagons before. I wonder now if they've stopped since I been sitting here. They camped near enough!l I suppose they'd buy somethirng up to the store. The mov ers bring in John quite a little, off and on. There comeis John up this way. I wonder now what's he comin' up here for. What ou want, John? They ain't anything the matter. is they?" sheC called. John came slowly toward her. I~e was a large man, but his clothes, .which hung loosely'., gave him the appearance f bein "~e a soft felt bat ulled ad. His ves we in color, but ~here ermination .i "Have you seen the movers ca:npmn ver yonderi" he asked, pointing across he prairie.. "Yes, I just was lookin' at them when see you comin' up." Well, they were just two of them ups o the store, and they was evii-!ookin', I an tell you. Marthy was in the store and see them, and she would have it you must c'ome ever and stay to our ouse to-night." "Why, I ain't afraid of movers, as I :nor' of." "Si-e don't want to think of yon stay in' here by yourself, and I'll own I don't :nei:her." "Well, I ain't goin' to leave .my bed cause some movers happen to be camp in' near. There's always movers cornin and goin'. I guess if they stole me they'd drop mue when it come light mough to see what they'd got." "Well, I think you'd better come. arthy won't feel easy unless yt u do." "I ain't goini' to be so silly, :b please Marthy or no one. I sin't got anythin' they want, with. out it's that money I've saved to have y carpet razs wove up, and they'd never think of lookin' in a can for it. It's one of them cove oyster cans. I've :made a pin cushion that fits down intg the can, and sewed a cover around the outside. You'd never know it was a can to look at it. I see one mnade something ike it when I livel East." "You ain't got much money in it. have you?" "It's all in nc'e's. I've been savin of it up for utar; av~o years. Oh, I guess they must be four or tive dodaurs. I ain' ccunted it just lately." "Well, i think yon' re foolish to stay here by yourself, when you can just as well come over. I thias vyou'd bette; change your mind an-i cone along." He tuned and w'ent tback along the grassy road toxara ha owVn home. H.' waied with his had:~ bent down and with a shambling pi: H e was dreading his wife's rep~rea:hes that he had not .,em~ nl t indrce his ether to ecme loor betws eei the two 'room with sueu orce that the house trembled. At that ninute the can containing the mouey ell with a crash to the flour. The coiui lew in all direcLions. Mrs. Dyer partly >pened the door and looked out. ]t ;he dim light she could see the form of P i man. le had one hand on the win. 1 ow-sill ready to spring through tLe pen window. "If you've got any o! that money, yo:i hc rop it!" Mrs. Dyer screamed, forgetting ni I fear and coming out into the room. Don't you leave this house till you rop every cent you stole" The man disappeared throu~th the e3 indow. -Mrs. Dyer went and looked W :t. She c )uld see himu for a short le istance running across thC prairie. He as going in the direction of the wal - 2s. She put down the windo . and lit e lamp and dressed. Then she found au nail an(j fastened the window securely. eL fter thit was done she got down on her inds and knees and began creeping -ound the :door, pickikg up the sc-tt red money. It was a lon- and didi ilt task. The money had rolleu and th dden itself in every e'.aae n->. r d crack in the roorm hi At last she gave up the seareh. She Po d fcund all but six of the pieces, an.d ese she decided the man must have no ken. Her loss could not. have trouble Ia er more if it had been her. entire hoard. "ro think of my sta'din' in there and ttin' him pick it up after I'd scared s im into knockin' it otf the s'ielf! As to >on as it begins to get light I believe 11 go down to the wagon audimake hin ha ive it up. Like 's any way he'il hitch ha ght up and get 01 without watin' for to be light." to She decided that it would not do to sk the safety of the m'v.ney in the can no ,ain, and after counting it the secand'a. me, she tied it into au old stocking-le.,M ad buried it in the depths of the pnier vg bag that hung behind her bed-room oor. "There ain't any use ooin' to bed again ow: it 'ill soon be mornin'. I believe i lo>k over those beaus I'm goin' to aok, and then get the cirpet-rags own out of the loft an I look the-n over n- see if they're in a condition to send way. I half believe I'nl take the.n over > the woman to-morrow or next day GE ad not wait to save up the rest of the ioney the way I be-an. Or perhaps ae'll wait for the balaace." The morning was clear, and the sun, Iir -hich came early at that ti:ne of the tri ear, lit up the wet prairie-grass and th ade it dance and sparkle 'ke jewels. 10 Mrs. Dyer waited impatiently for the lik rst light to see if the movers had broken 38 imp. When it'came -he saw that they Fee ere still there, though evidently making - reparations to .go. a d It was broad da5'ght whe'Mrs. Wo er nut on her .n 3 vtarp - - ross the prairie toward the wa-Ions. est er courage had nearly forsaken her, ie id at one time she had given up the (E lea of going at all, but when she sa:v 0 iat they were getting ready to go the mse of her loss was too strong to let D er remain. fr It was a longer walk to the wagons rc ian she had thought. Tin prair'e rass was still very wet an 1 dralel 19 r dress. She was tired after the rocg Te ight, and before she ha L re:1e I the .n 'agons she wished she had not co ne. -oti 8he found the men hitching the horses. Na here were two of themn. The one lao 'oman of the camp was sitting up in ho as of the wagons, ready to go. She. - as very thin and looked sickc. Her 10: [ue calico sunbonnet hung loosely ca yout her face. She looke I so weak io ad childlike that it went to Mrs. Dycr's thi "ood mornin !" she said, l'ooking - rat at the men anid then at the won ta. No one made any reoly. Tace woman oked at her absently ~with paie blue nes. 11 "You're sick, ain't you?" .Mrs. Dyer d, going up to the side of the wag~n. "Yfes, I be," she said, in a whi-.ainig ne, hardly looking at her visitor. - What's the matter with you? I shoutl t think you'd be travelin' over the n un try tais way when you can't hardly chi t 0." Itn "That's what we're travlin' for. Jel's tha kin" me out'." .rkausats Sprn ;p. They y it'l cure me. ft~"n't beiieve it will. e'v got out of money and ii ': ouhI to eat. I feel like I'd die before c there. I wish I wjuld, I ge: sa tire i [iia it day." The other wagon with one of the m'ri dir d st:rte 1. TIhe worn a's hus'>and: in eit aruni to the other s:.!b of thc th( aon and sprang in, sitting dusva be- thi de his wife. v '-stop your glabhbin' to ev'erybo ly thit P0 en alocugs'de of the wazon," he said th~ .u4l.il, and. t-ikina; up tie lines he art.1 o.! across tue;praii afner the cal :hor wa.;o:1 - hel :s. Dyer stood watching the-n for a gr< inu~e, and then waiked slv sly back to- 'tio ar the house. '-To think of thiat sick wa nvi riln' dis ear out t.> Arkausas Spriuss to get etr el a-id tea ' out of mioney an I ner fj I>ia' hr I deciare Ifeui as if I fu rat to) am e them wait and give her AK -vry cenit of that carpet- m'oney. I'll loc exbt loo at that raz carpet but I'll see wI ' os -ick. and- hun trs sic io kAe I. I apJ ali believ e I wish he'.'-I stole it all."-- an . r .tuy ra ne L ury.cr Pre;rvation o' Its Fnuna. m New~ Zealand bas s--t apart twc ilands or the preservation of itds em:irkable wild bi~ ds un i o her ani- o ia's- co n ot and Cola-1.I Ri'ht at the foot of a gtreat g'acien ra N w 7.ealand tt:Cc is a I opal an r wv"th of nlan t Ii fe 'and a hit s.n *;. s nit' water issuin-f forth att a reui -rature- of ovecr 101 dec-r ' . de m MicIGAN IIIen don't feel as they sti .d eloped if they don't leave a wi:e t d four children In destitute circona- en IN QUEEN MARY'S TIME me Remedies Not Used by Our Modern Healers. Not many remedies of Queen Mary's no ratain a place in the modern iarmacopoia. Cardano recom anded bark of Indian wood, cina an, caryophyllvm, colocynth, cam or, cyclaruec, viola, turpentine, ps, anise. senna, popny, ustard, myrrh. wormwood, agri >ny, lichen, privet, rue, raisine, ssop, crocus. marjoram, scabious, s, honey, and many more; and he rnestly urges the use of a remedy Sich he had tried himself for breath tsness accompanied by bad cough: Lke the lungs of a fox and forth thi wash them with wine and dry in a furnace to a cinder; Dowder, d mix well with the yelk of an Among his external remedies one itch was evidently a prime favorite ts that which he applied over the tures of the skull, and especially e coronal, and which he found a ind remedy for bringing away the mors of the brain. It was com sed of Greek pitch and ship's tar, lite mustard, euphorbium, and ney, sharpened, if necessary, by the dition of blister fly. He had unbounded faith in the cacy of elaterium-two grains dis ved in four ounces of goat's or v's rilk and as much water. this be drawn through the nostrils ien the patient was fasting. He d found-and we can well believe -that when this remedy was used ery copious -discharge of humor )k Dlace from the nostrils. I shall L attempt to follow him through long series of medicines which he :ommended to be used,-Black d's Magazine. SCIENTIFIC WAIFS. -The average length of life Is greater Norway thn in any other count-y the globe. 'I his is attribu'et to the t that the temperature is cool and iform during the entire year. -Air guns were made by (*uhr in rmany in 1C53, and the invention Is o credited to Shaw of America, in 1 5. -Mars is in cpposltlcn about once tv o years, but owing to the eccen city of his orbit, his distance from ) eaith va its.greatly at different op sition?. The most favorable ones a those of the present Summer and 7- occur at intervals of about 15 -A pound of coal, it is said, contains ynamic force equal to the amount of rk a.man does a day. -At Stoekholm, Sweden, the l-ng day Is 1F 4 hours in leogth; at Spitz gen it i-s 3 months. At London ngland) and Bremen (Prussia) the igest day has 161 bours. At Ham rg in Germany and Dantzig in Prui the longest day has 17 tours. At ardbury, Norway,the longest day lasts I May 21 to July 22, without inter tion. At St. Petersburg [Russiaj I Tobolsk [S5beria] the 1-ngest day is hours at d Lbe shortest 5 hours. At rnea, Finland, June 21 brings a dAy triy 22 hours long, and e.iritmas B less ihan three hours in length. At w ?ork the longest day is ab )ut 15 irs; at Montreal, Canada, It Is 16 urs. -When the thermometer registers ). deg. the cable which draws the s of the East River Bridge, 14ew rk, is se ven feet and six inches longer m when -the thermometer is a: zero. -Wuile the earth is going aiound the Sonce it revolves upon its own axis ij times. This revolution makes day Snight. The orbit in wthich the tb revolves around the sun is an el i,having the sun at one of Its focus. -The moon g-ves out heat enough affect a thei mnometer and make a feience of two or three degrees. -The mocn is a tossil world, an an nt cinder, a ruined habit a'ion. The en was once the seat of all the va d ann intense activiks that now iracterzs the surface of our earth. I life age was, perhaps, reached while Searth was yet glowing. 1. PAR ADOX OF TILE POLE. ~m "The Race to the NorthPol,'-' & A.& Clure's Magazine for .Ju'y.) tt the North Pole there is only one ection-south. One could go south as many ways as there are points on compass card, but every one of se ways Is south; east and west have a1 ed. The hour of the day at the le ii a paradoxical conception, for Lt point is the meeting place of every Iridlia", and the time of all holds d, so that it is always any hour one 'es to mention. Unpunctuaihty is ice impossible-but the question ws complex, and its practical solu n concerns few. No one needs to go to the pole to cver all that nmakes thiat point differ from any otter poin;t of the sur A. but the wbole polar ree one are 1 of unknown thines, which every ctic expirrer of th~e right stamp uts fcorwardi to finding. And the re ard he looks forward to most is the proval of~ the few who understand d love knuowledge for tts own sake, her than the noisy applause of the wd who would cheer him, after all, ch as thuey cheer a winning prize hier, or race-horse, or politic d can Te difficulties that make the quest the pole so arduous have been die vered by slow degrees. It 1s marvel s how soon nearly the full limits of rthward attainment were reached. 1596 Jiarents discovered S1itzbergen about 78 deg. north; in 1770 H edson ched 80 deg'.; in 1827 Parry, by dging on the ice when his ship le me f se succeeded in toncl 1 e 82 g. 45 min. Since then li thbe enor uus resourcesa of modern science sam, electricity, preserved foods and experience of centuries--have only abed forty uilles of additional pol3 nrda~an toa made b ac1r with hnim. He did not ielleve there was any real danger ia letting his mother I sLay alone. "I guess I ain't goin' to set up for a 1 coward, at my time of life," said Mrs. Dyer. "I wonder now if Marthy really thought I'd come!" An express train was coming from the south. The light from i the engine could be - seen for some time before there was any noise from the train. Night had come quick ly. It was already quite dark. Mrs. Dyer took off her gingham apron and put it over her head, and t.tood watching the light from the engine as it drew nearer, and tinallv when the train had dashed by the little station she tu-ned and went into the house. There d were but two rooms in the house-the ' living-room and a small bedroom open ing out of it. Mrs. Dyer went over to the window and looked out. "It does beat me how soon night A comes out here," she said; "back in' Tork State we had a little between-time. lhere's the moon shinin' away as if the nn hadn't only just left. You can see - the movers plaiu as if 't was day.! They're much as half a mile away, tool !fhey've got a big fire. 'T' ain't likely there's any more harm in. them than. a here's in me. I'm going to get out that ti noney and count it. They must be nost enough to have the carpet wove b iy this time. Six dollars, they say, it'll Lost me. They never charge no such l price as that back East." The can in which she kept the money was on a shelf behind the stove. Sihe, V went over and took it down, and than' sat down in an old rocking-chair, not r far from the window. The moonligi.f it shone in brightly. She took the cushion out of the top of the c i and emptiedI r] the money into her lap. There was a q'iite a pilb of it. .t "One would. think there was con- a siderable more'n there is, to look at it," r she said, fingering the money. "If you d could call these pieces dollars 'stid of nic'kels, 't would be. Might as well say n 'dve-doiiar pieces wnile I'm about it, I suppose.n She began counting the money, droo- I ping each piece into the can as sne did so. She enjoyed the sound of t:e money's a .rattling. Two or three times a she forgot her count, and emp tied it back into her lap and beano Igain. Suddenly she started, gathering the money up ;n her dress. She went over and lo.ed out of the window. fhe prairie was flooded with moonlight. y :The light from the fire in the mover's camp lit up the whi:e canvas-covered wagons. Everything was perf:.ctly still. ,She went over and locked tile door. I "It must have been a 'cloud pasing over the mon. They arn't any chance .of a person's gettin' out of sight as quick, unless he just went round the house." a She stood listening for some time. "It is all my imagination, I'm going to put the money right back and go to bed. They ain't no such great rush tl ibout its being counted, anyhow." She sat down and put the money care h fully back into the can. She did not let it fail in this time, but put each piece in carefully, counting it as she did so. "There, they's five doliars and fifty five cents,-'Iost enough." holding t.e h can betweeu her hiaids and looking to ward the shelf and then toward the win dow. "Now I'm goin' to bed. I ain't goin' to be so silly as to think any one's goin' a to get it. They'd never think of lookin' in this can anyhow. They'd never know b it was acan." ,' She put it back on the shelf, ther( a turned and looked quic'.dy toward the: h window, tremb~ling. "Well, I didn't think I was so silly, but seems like I see somebod' goin' by that window again. I hadn't any busi ness countin' the money and thinkin' shout it. That's what's upset mae. If I'd - lit the lampr and put down the window urtain and gone to bed in a natural way, 'd been all right." She lit the lamp anid drew down the 'eman It was a dark-green paper n shae. 'fi'e.n she went into the little 2 bedroom, undreisd quickly, blew out 3. the light, and got into bed, eie~ :.'" door into the other roon open. Sue did a not go to sleep, but lay there listening, sa the fear growing every minute strongr, w and more beyond her control. s Once she sat up and looked out into [ the other room. Then she got up an ir pulled aside the curtain in her little bed room and looked out. The moon ha-l b gone under a heavy cloud and the night' I was growing dark. She could see th, I other houses of the town from thi.s si window. There was a light buraing in the back room of her son's hoome. It e gave her a wonderful sense of secuirity- r She went back to the bed and was soon 3 aleep. Somne time near orne o'clock she a woke suiden'y andi sat un in be3. Thc wind was blowing arouind the house and t it was raining. 1 "There, that rain trough ain't put up, so's I'll c'~tch any water in that barre;! c The tubs ought to be pur, out., too. I " aint had any soft water to wash with I ' g dont know when." Al! the fear that she ha ? in the even- Ie ing was gone. She began to think o' f Iputting en her clothes and going out to I plac~e the tubs. As she sat there in bed h the window in the other room was opened 2 softly. A spool of thread that stood on the ':pper easing fell to the fl'or. She heri the green paper sh'. 'e give way ten she know that so.ne one was in the ~ r roo:n. "&We, I won icr if I'm zin; to set here s:idt and ict them take trt money, she thouight. ''Just as like as not they'd kili me if I'd interfere. Taey no doubt have their weapons ready."i Everything was perfectly still for some time. Then she heard the movelent of soriz one crossing the room. "Sounds as if they was makin's:rsah tfor th-.t shelf I They are! I can ten. their hand movin' right along the shelf I toward it ." TRUMPET CALL5. Rama Horn Bounds a Warning Note tao tho Unredeemed. HERE are no sturn-t ables in Hleaveni. TE c devil oft en wears a white cravat. Goi' p 31eace -will niot stay in a y thankless heart. A SHIFTLESS nanjl!oves to talk about his bad Lluck.. LovE's inyestments are always drawing dividends. WHEN a good man goes wrong, God loses a witness. 'THE world is full of religion that did not come from Christ. NOBODY looks for fruit on a tree that is covered with tho ni. THE fetters of sin are riveted in fireand burn as well as bind. NOTHING but sin makes a man get mad when the truth hits him. Joy that isn't shared with some body else soon becomes moldy. EVERY spark of mercy in us comes from fire that God has kindled. EVERY good man is a monument to the fact that Christ has lived. IF we hinder God's work in our own hearts, we rob the whole world. TuosE who trust most in God are the easiest people to please on earth. TriE devil gets your vote, when you help to put a wicked man in otlice. TdE man who lives only for him. self, is engaged in very s.uali busi neSs. GRATEFUL content is the lest sau.e that was ever served with any ain ner. T.E devil would have to go out of business if he couldn't use white wash. A MAN's size in Heaven depends upon how much he weighs for God on earth. . EVEnYBODY knows that a snarling church member is a stranger to Jesus Christ. THE meeting is very often shut the tigbtest, just as the leader declares it open. . IF grumbling cou'd be exchanged for gold, how many of us would soon be rich. GDn's rewards to us will dependa upon the amount of heart we put into our work. THE man who is not doing his best, is not doing an) thing that God wants him to do. DIFFICULTIES may discourage, but they cannot overcome the man who trusts in God. EVERY man will die disappointed who does nothing to make the world brighter and better. I WHEN a young man takes his first drink, he gives the devil an ironclad mortgage on himself. DoW'r think that God has forsaken you, just because things do not ap. pear to be going right. No CnR1sT1AN ever has an anxious thought while he is believing that God is always good. He Begged Mr-s. Hanna's Pardon, The Lexington, Ky., reporter who was anxious to furnish sensational details about the Scearce defalcation came pretty near being able to furn ish them in a way be did not relish. A Lea-ler man called on Mrs. Hanna, the handsome young widow in the case, when the following oc. curred: Mrs. Hanna was told that it was probable that Mr. Scearce, Sr., could not come to his son's ad. I"Why," she replied, "he must be a hard sort of a father. ly "Would you have a gray-haired old man make himself penniless for such ason" inquired the reporter. "I would for the man I loved," was her quick response. * Do you mean that you love Mr. Scearce and would sacritie your en tispses'ol e SA im from prosecution?-' asked the r'groter, posibly venturing too far on the i pulse of Mrs. Ha:nna's fervent hypo thetical observation. Like a iash she sprang from bem seat, pulled open a bureau drawer, drew out a large revolver, and, point ing it at the reporter's head, ex claimed: "I will give you two sec onds to leave this house; you news ptge-- men have imposed on me by makitun me say things that I should keep. to myself. Unless you leave invmdiately I will blow your brains out." Byv this time the pistol was on a leve! with the L.earer nman'M eve. :ni1 as he I:ainced int., the steely looking barril he wo.iered if sue really wouhl shoot. Hiasti y begging M s. Hannla's par don for intruding on her and assuring her that such display was not becom ing ini a lady, the Leader reporter bowed himsclf out. Wantedi a Chance to Tell the Truth. The remark of the hardened crim inal who was ltrought up befo.e Wickhanm in the Beaver Cou: s re cently.. when the oath was given~ hi'. might se -in excusa! e in the ninrd ofa mian who watches the juggle of words that lawyers in our courts Ue in cross.examination. After the clergc had read the on-h and h-id ask.edl him if he would tell 'the truth, the whole trati and nothinz but the truth," he repliedl: "-I wdl if they will let me." Hie ha I evi dently been in court before."-Pitts hurgh Dispatch. BUDGET OF FUN. Vn!MOROUS SKETCHIE% FRO3M VARIOUS SOURCES. Where the Pain Came In-The OnI. Proper Thing to Say-is Mas terpiece-:in Eibarrassin; Qnestion, Etc., Etc. .t was not her refusal that so hurt, But the way she looked me through an.l through, And in a manner dizuided and curt. Ejaculated "You?" --Life. AN EMBARRAsSISG QUESTION. He-' "My lips never uttered a word of love to any woman before." She-"How did you manage-speak. through your nose?"-J'uige. THE ONLY PROPER THING TO SAY. "What do you say to a tramp after dinner?" asked Walker, anxious for a walk. "N'thing. I unchain the dog." Puck. A 'EW LNDUSTRY. "Jones put his parrot in the cage, with his owl the other day." "What was the result?" "He got enough feathers for a new: feather-bed." ..rs MAsTERPIECE. She-"Which of Mr. Caroll's poems, do you think evinces the boldest flight of the imagination?" He-' 'That in which he refers to him, self as a poet."-Life. AT THE INTERESTLNG POINTS. "Are you going to receive bulletins from the foot-ball game.?" asked a caller. "Yes, sir," replied the editor; "we shall put out a bulletin every time a man gets killed."-Puck. TEE 02Es WHO GOT LOCKED UP. Gotham Citizen-"That was a horrible imurder last night. Have you locked up the man who cc nmitted it?" Policeman--'No, but we've locked up twenty people who saw it."-Neto Tork Weekly. A DESIRABLE WORK. "Carton has written a story that'll make your hair curl," said Mawson. "Get it for me, for goodness sake!" said Mrs. M. ."It'll save me from burn ing my, fingers off with the tongs." arper's Bazar. '~ . APRAIsING IT. "But I'changed my mind," said Lyte wayte. -Ah?" returned the fair maid of Peth Amboy. "And what did you get when; you changed it - five pennies and d nickel"-Puck.. AN INSIDIoUS CRITIcIsM . The Rev. Mr. Spouter-' "ow did yen like my sermon, yesterday? What did. you think of my exordiuzn and my pero ration, eh?" DeGrumpe- "I thought they were too far apart."-Life. Row IT SLIPPED OUT. Jack Tenter-"I don't see why you keep me so long in suspense, Clara. Can't you say 'Yes' or 'No' right out?" Clara Hooks-'"Oh, you just wait uin-i til we 're married, and you'll find I can' speak out quick enough!t" APTLY NAM'ED. "This geyser," said the guide in the. Yellowstone region, "is called the Po litical Geyser." "Ah," replied the tourist. "And why?" "Because it throws mud."-Jude. TROM. THE cYcLONE sECTION. Little Miss (who has been to the oera)-' Uncle John, did you ever see 'astles in the Air?'" Uncle Wayback (from the West) "No, my dear, but I've seen houses an'. barns in th' air many a time."-Good New. ONE THAT .BILK.ENs PRACTICEs. Wilkins--"Before you strike a mar see that he deserves it." ~ - "~ h i I have a bettc' rule than that." Wilkis-"What is it, pray?" Bilkins-"See that he is smaller thsa you."-Yankee Blade. A LATE LITERARY PRODUcTION. "Have you anything new?'' asked ia customer of a recently engaged clerk in' a Chicago book-store. "I'll see," replied the young man, as heswept his eye over the shelves. "Yes. here's 'The New Testament.' Would you like to look at itr-ife. A scATTERED FAM~ILY. Bunting-"One of Larkin's sons was accidentally shot in the lumber region yesterday." Mrs. Bunting-"It seems to me tha4 the Larkin boys are pretty well scattered. It was only last week~ that one of them was badly hurt in the oil regions." Brooklyn ie. ANOTHER CAsE. France-"'It is that tiresome M.. Cobalt, with his everlasting gabble on Laura (botly)-"I think he amounts to a good dealt Hie is quite wedded to his art." Frances-'"A case where marriagef seems to be a failure."-Life. - A French scientist bas devised suspended camera, 'with which puloto gr'taphs may be takan on a ship wheu L& a emis runnin. hIg 1?