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0 ... ,~ W"I <'~ ^,, 4; U > : % Pt:"C~ ~ ' <~fl~ tY .4'ha U~ 2 . ' 4C ' 4WINV*~$. WA B ' ~ 't T u R'. . 5. > TRI-WEEKLY.U '"ITONO WI NSBOR.O S.C-9 EPT MBE BUMMBR. There ea= a whisper throngh the wind-biowi leaves, That stirred in music underneath the eaves. And fluttering breeze and flu toring foliag( @aimed To waft my thoughts to dreamland as Dreamed Of Summer. There came a flood of light, a flush of bloom, And roses scattered petals of p ,rfume ; And wings of birds and ecthos of thoir song Bore every thought in oadenoeswoet along To Summer. There flamed in splendor fierce a fervent sun, And sweet May paled, and sighed - " My lIf< is done ; To you, 0, Sister June, be all I lose And all I fain would gain, if I might choose For Summer I" There stood in meadow-grasses akle-leep, ne who awakened from her maiden sleep, And waking, turnel to me with smile divine, And blushing, let her hand olasp close to mini in Summer. And all the golden sunlight rained its gold Ou tresses bright as any ray they hold, And all the fervent splenaor of the day Wore fairer splendor than In sky and ray Of Summer. For what is earth if love be not our day ? And what is love if love care not to stay. An I, staying, seal our herts in dreamle is rest Aitd resting thus who dream i aid is not blos In summer ? HE CHANCED HIS MIND, "I am a miserable man," said Cyru Maddox, gloomily, "and it Is best that tht Vorld should be rid of my presence. N ( Abe cares for me." "Oh, don't say that, uncle," said Lizzlo Silver, beseechingly. "You know I lov( you. You are the only friend I have ii the world, and If you were to die, whai would become of me!" "I suppose young Guy Cheevers wouk console you for my loss," saId Mr. Maddoi grimly. "At any rate, I don't care. I will em my troubles and sorrows to-morrow at 12 o'clock." And with those fearful words, he strod( out of the room, leaving Lizzie sobbing, with her curly black head resting on a din, ner plate. "What's the matter now, Bess? Has th( milliner disappointed you in the love o: a bonnet?" asked a warm, hearty voice which was the property of "young Gu Chcevers," as Mr. Maddox called him-a that gentleman strode into the room. "Oh, Guyl" sobbed Lizzle, Uncle Cyrui is going to die to-morrow at 12 o'clock." "How do you know?" asked Guy. "le said so." "But how does he know?" "le's going to kill himself." "So as to make himself a true prophet oh?" asked Guy laughing. "Oh, Guy, don't jokel" cried Lizzle tearfully. "le will-I know lie will!" "I doubt itI" said Guy skeptically. "But he tried to commit suicide severa tImes," persisted Lizzle, tearfully. "Onci ho tried to smother himself with burninj charcoal; but he forgot to stop up I he key hole, and I smelt the smoke and got som neighbors to break open the door, and savi him. Then he tried to hang himself, bu the cord broke, and he fired a p)istol a himself, but be forgot to put any b)all in it so that failed, and then-" "Graciousl" crIed Guy, as Lizzie stoppet for want of breath; "what a detorminet man he must be! Such perseverance do. serves to be rewarded. Have you any idei what plan lie will try next?" "I'm sure 1 ulen't know," said Lizzie mournfully. " 6methuing dreadful, I sup~ "But ,at does lie want to make awa: with ilj self for?" asked Guy wondering ly. ' y he says he is a miserable mxan, bkI en to every one, and that life has ni L. - ,~.4ys for him, andl that lhe Is weary of thi "And so would like to try the next?' said Guy. "Perhaps he won't find it a pleasant as the one lie Is quitting. Wha an unreasonable man lhe must be! lie I rich, talented, healthy, snd has a ver: * lpretty neice"-here, in a moment of abi straction, he allowed his arm to wande around Miss Silver's waist-"and wha more can he want? Butt some pOOP!< never are satisfied. It seems ho is detIer mined to pry into futurity, and it seems pity to disappoint so laudable an ambition but duty-duty to myself compels me to in terfere. I dislike scandal or excitement. 2d coroner's jury would cause both, therefor we must balk his little game." "But how will you do it?" asked Lizzi curiously. "A prudent General," said Guy, haughi tily, "never confides his plans to his army particularly when that army is of the feml nine gender-so excuse me; mum's th word; but rest as.sured, my dear Elizabetti that unless your worthy unole shufiles oi this mortal coil in a surreptitious manne before 12 o'clock tc-morrow, ho will nc do it afterward-of course I mean lllegally Farewell, till to-morrow." Having concluded( this adldress, Gu; strode off in a tragic manner, leaving ii zie greatly surprised, but still quito reau sured, for In her opinion what Guy coul, not do, was not worth doing. 'The noe' norning Mr. Maddox made hI appoarance very saturnius and gloomy; an ato his breakfast with a mournful air tha was terribly impressive. Having finishe eating, he thenm took leave of his niece In fooling manner.. I1 at- about to heave you," he said nourn gly. "I am about to put an end t ~t this miserable life. I hope that you may ever be happy." "Oh, don't go." said Lizzie tearfully, olinging to him and looking up into his face pleadingly. "It's useless," said Mr. Maddox, firmly. "My mind is fixed, and nothing you may say can persuade me to relinquishi my pur pose. But you, my clear child. shall not be unprovided for. I Intend to make my will, In the few hours that are left me, and you will not. be forgotten. Good-by, my dear child-farewoll "-and t lien, after embracing his niece fervently, Mr. Maddox rushed from the room frantically and se curely locked hinself in his own room, and began to prepare himself for his last journey. "Nine o'clock!" he said to himself. look ing at lile watch. Three hours yet. Enough to do all I have to do. First, to make my will." The last will and testaient of Mr. Cyrus Maddox was evidently not a long one, as it was finished im ani hour. "Eleven o'clcklt" said Mr. Maddox, "and I have finished. How slow the time puses, to be sure Now, what, shall I do until 12 o'clock, for I am deternilned not to die until noon-" A knock at the door. "Go awayl" cried Mr. Maddox, angrily. "You can't come in!" "I am very sorry to disagree with you," said a voice outside the door, "but I can come li. I have a duplicate key here, and if you don't open the door, I will. Mr. Maddox rose and unlocked the door savagely, and Mr, Guy Cheevers walked into the room, carrying an oblong box un der his arm. He placed the box on the table and then took a seat opposite Mr. Maddox and stared blandly at him. "What do you wan't?" asked Mr. Mad dox, fiercely, Don't you see I am on gagedi" "Oh, I know," said Guy, "wiat you are about to (o. Don't think that I'm going to Interfere; not at all. But before you uake your quietus, I wish to ask you a few questionp. Have you provided for your niece's future welfare?" "What's that, to you?" "Considerable. I am about to marry Miss Silver, so her interests are naturally mine." h spoie "Then she Is provided for, amply." "Thank you for your information. Very glad to hear it. And now, excuse the ap. parent impertinence of the question, but where Is your will?" "Hcre," sald Mr. Maddox, laying his hand on it. "Suppose you give It to me to take care of?" "Give it to you! Why pray?" "It might become misplaced,"explained Guy. "I'll keep it myself," said Mr. Maddox, roughly. "Then just leave a memorandum oi the table," said Guy, earnestly, "to tell where it Is. It will save trouble, perhaps. "Get out!" cried Mr. Maddox, angrily. "Ah, I see!" said Mr. Cheeveis, coolly; "in a hurry to begin. "Well, I won't de tain you; but I have' a little suggestion to offer." foTs this," said Guy. "Miss --1ver in frsm,that you have made several pre vious efforts to cut short your troubles andi your breath, and always unsuccessfully. Now It seems to me, you don't go the right way about It. "This box" and here lie opened the box before alludecd to-.-'"con tains several I ttle plans t.hat I think might please you. fere's one"-and he showed a little steel instrument. "What's that?"' asked Mr. Maddox, curi ously. ''This," said Guy, "'Is an article that you can p)lace around your neck like a col lar, then, by striking your hand on the lcft side of your neck, a sharp spike Is driven right into your jugular vein-" ''But, that would kill me!"' said Mr. Maddox, staring. 'Well, ain't that what you want?" do nmanded Guy, sternly. "'Now, here's an other," he went on. "Here's a wheel, you observe. You piece this band around your neck, pass It around the wheel, and give it two or three turns; then let go. The re coil will twist your head almost off your shoulder-kill you to a certainty. Mr. Maddox stared at him with unfeign ed horror. "Then," went on Guy, coolly, "here's a lIttle package-a torpedo. It contains - nitro-glycerine. You place it In your mouth, snap your teeth oni it, andl off goes your head, smashlid inito millhons of atoms." "Good heavens!" exclaimed Mr. Mad dox, fearfully. "What a terrible idea!" ' "Not at all, said Mr. Guy, soothinagly, '"Bcauitiful Invention-I quite pride my ' self on it-sientific suicide, you see!" 3 Anybody can take poison, or blow their 'brains out; but do It scientifically requires real talent. You have it, and 1 am confi r dent you will reflect credit oni my inventive Sskill. ''Now,"hle contined, confidentially, -"If you could use all three of these nmven tions at once-cut your jugular, garrote i' yourself and blow your hlad off, all at once-why, I'd thank you." "What!" cried Mr. Mladdlox, fiercely, "(do you thik I'm going to use any of your infrnmal inventions? Get out of this room, I you~ cold-bh>oded villain, before I throw you out of the windowi"' t ' But I haves a great many more to show I you," deamonstrated Guy; "and you see I Ii want you to try as amany as possible. Well, well!" ho added, as Mr. Maddox grasped the poker threateningly, "I'm going. But 0 I'll leave this box here. and before you get rid of yourself, just nake a ~,rand of what you will use, and lea 'n table, because, you know, ther will pro bly be nothing left of you to draw con< slons froin, and so-" Here, any further speech was cut sl by Mr. Maddox seizing his visitor, i hustling him out in the passage. "Well," saId Lizzle anxiously to uy "1 think it's all right," said Guy, gi ning. "Get the lunch ready. Yoi r it: is all right. He'll be down." And sure enough, so lie was; and Choi lie spoke not, lie eat most voracious3 everything. "Lizzie," said lie suddenly, after hour's pause, "did you ever see an infei old fool and an idiot?" "Never, that I know of," said Liz: "Why?" "Because, Just look at ic, and you'll ono," said Mr. Maddox, grimly, and stalked up-stairs. Up to the present tinie of writing, j Cyrus Maddox is still alive, enjoying gi health; and hv. seens to be on frien terms with Mr. Chevers and his v Lizzie. He probably forgave that gen man on accoutit of a discovery that made that the nitro-glycerine torpedo c talined nothing more dangereus than si and the other "infernal inventions" m haifernal In about the same ratio; but ( still maintains that when a person is we of life they should cease their troubles scientific suicide. i1s VIoney'S WOrth. A stranger with an aggressive hat an, genial flavor of hayseed drew up bel Officer Dean on Broadway, New York a put his arms around akimbo. "Be you one o' ther perlice ?" he quired. "I be," answered the blue coat sent tiously. "You're pooty well posted 'bout thi in general, I 'spect.'' The officer admitted he did know a th or two. The stranger looked all the in gratified. "I've kem deown t' York," said lie, hiev an all-fired, bustin' time. Wot I wo: a little recreashun, see I I don't car' '1 stumblin' 'gin a perfeshunal flatist, but jest, like t' buy a slice of a neat little r< whar' a feller kin gouge and bite some i ain't tied down by enny cussed ru! Thar' ain't no ratpits, nor dog-fightin' pla 'bout yer,' Is thar', whar' a little diffiki could be riz ?" The oflicer told him that lie had bel get an almanac or indicator, but said tI he thought that with tour fingers more the last whisky lie had been drinking might be easily accommodated. 'I stranger thanked him heartily and wj drew. About four o'clock the following mc ing the same officei found a man tied in a knot on the corner of Waverly phi He tried to undo him, and when he I pried the hat back from his nose the str ger of the previous night emerged. was quite drunk, there were bumps all o his head, and lie looked as if he had b shaved with a buzz.saw. "Thankee, ole fcll'r" lie said grateful "Thankee. Hed a bustin' time. Kee over a barten'r and got chucked out four on 'em. Yes, sir, fit four times ov an' Seth Hines kin go hum t' Steulei feelin' good neow. He went to the Jefferson Market Pol Court first, though. "Ten dollars," his Hono'r said, when heard the story. "Ten dollars. That's yer figger, Mquiar, I'm a-gittin' inter you, I 'sp< Wily, I've had a free fito four times hi runnin', and got licked every shot. Recl you didn't know that, ehi? Squar, rumpus is cheap at double the money," a ho pa.dl his fine wIth a chuckle of inte satisfaction. A Luokiess Tram.. Some time ago a tramp got into the fl box of a station)ary engine that was be shipped on a fiat ear to the Pacific ce from Denver. BAy somne freak of mnisforta to him a careful brakeman closed the f naco door on hIm, and the solitary picnit or was alone with lis conscience and a f friends that had come along to repres the National Bug Bureau. At first he thought It was a joke, and laughed a smothered hysterIcal laugh,I as the hours dIragged on andl he didn't kn whether it was dlay or night or whiethecr was the Fourth of July or eternity, lie o eluded to attract the attention of the c side0 world, so lie p)oundcd on the inside his cage till his arms ached. Ho might well have tried to get out of a fir'e burglar proof safe with a corkscrew. One day, through curiosity, a rallr< boy opened the door of the engine furn and looked.in. The broad sole of an boot was turned up at tha door, amnd brakeman took hold of it and snatched out. It was followed by an attenua piece of hiumamity, that rattledl around the car like an old1 umbrella. The bystanders reviewed him and asi him if he didn't feel hungry. He said did feel a kmd of goneness In the gasi regions, An old man, who was then acttng tre urcr of time Irish Relief fund, took the of filling him up. That is the reason i ireland missed time beneficial effects of relief fund for several months, at a ti when she needed it worst. Do (lows Drink Lager? The pleasure of a party of genlen who w'ent on a picnic excursion a few d augo, was seriously marred by thme ref hiensible conduct of a cow, which camne behind the tont while most of the pa were off in a boat to catch fish for ci der, and the rest, were asleep, and not o ate up a hialf-l'ushel of potatoes that I been peeled and sliced im readiness for pana, but opened a box and drank se bottlee of lager-all that remained of case. At least thut was the story loid fishoran when they returued, by the a at home porbon of the party. Thelire quite an animiatedi discussion as to whet or not a cow would be likely to stop lager beer bottles up and return them the case after emptying thoem, and it1 finally decided that a cow which we take bottles out of a case and open thm would not be very likely to cork up amnd place themn when through. tr - cousin's future wife. There she lived for several years. Mean. while Peter, who had after all been saved from the wreck of The Jane, returned 0 home. He went straight to his mother's cottage. The poor woman had lived a solitary life. When she left her home she had told no one why she went. The old furniture she had sold to te junk man, and had taken noting but her parrot with her, Poor Polly, who had brought tears to her eyes since her boy's departure br screaming out: "You, Peter, stop that I" The neighbors who had lived near the cottage when Peter went to sea wec ezone. Bo Peter heard from a stranger that "that the lady that lived in the third house died last winter," and went sadly away. Mother and son mourned each.other as dead, when only a few iiles-and hour's journey by rail-lay between them. Peter had come home intending to re turn to the carpenter, and be a good son and a worthy citizen; but his mother's sup posed deati upset him. lie fell into dis sipated ways; made the acquaintance of a main of doubtful character, who was called Red Jack, and one day found h mself deep er in the mire of dishonesty than he ad ever intenued to go. Red Jack intended to rob a house, and confided his plans to Peter. "It's a old woman that lives all alone," said Jack; "her servants are quite in another building. We can get in by a win dow I know of, and get all there in to carry off, as easy as winking. If we make a good haul, we needn't try that sort of a thing again; and what does an old woman want of uinch, while two fine young fel lows are suffering. At first Peter refused to listen, and re proach his new friend with having fancied he could join in such work; but finally lie yielded. lis part was to creep in at a window, while lIed Jack, who had lamed himself in some past exploit of the sort, waited outside with a horse and cart for his appearance with the booty. The night came. There was no moon in the sky, no stars--all was (lark and gloomy. Jack drove the wagon as near to the house as he (lared, and Peter crept out of it, and after some search, found the house Jack had inentione... All was dark; but Peter thought it best to make sure that no one was stirring. Softly he crept around the garden, peep ing and listening, and at last stepped upon the low back porch, upon which the win dow opened, through which he was to make his way. As his foot touched it a board creaked and suddenly a voice cried out in his ear: "You, Peter, stop that," Peter stood still as though suddeuly petrified. Again caie the cry: "You; Peter, stop that." The chisel Peter held fell from his iln gers. He uttered a 'ow groan. "Don't do that. Don't do that. Peter, don't do that," repeated the voice. Poor Peter fell upon his knees. lie felt sure that it was a supernatural warning. Pale, trembling, miserable, he crept back to Jack, who sat in his wagon. "Help me in, ,Jack," lie said. "1I've seen a ghost. I can't go back to that house again." I Jack was superstitious, like all people i of his class. He struck the horse with the whip and away they rattled through L the dark vllage, as though 8atan was after I hem, Daylight, however, restored Peter's senses. lie ventured near the house in L the afternoon and saw what he begun to i think lie shouhl see his iother's great yel low parrot swinging in a cage upon the "It vab.Foll that called to me," thought Peter. "Soniltone has bought the poor bird. Well,:he swagd in from doitg what I'd have been sorry"for-for I wasn't born a thief " Tien he kn-tk'kl on the kitchen door, and being answered WB a servant in a p)rhm cap) and( aproni, began 'as follows: "Miss, by your leave, P'd like to know if whosoever owns that parrot would like to soil her. You see, she used to belong to mother, and the old lady has gone to heaven, antd l'd like- -" But there he stopped, for out of the house came rushing the 01(1 iady herself and fiunig herself on his nieck. "YJun, Pecter, stop) that I" screamed Polly. But Peter could not stop) crying. Bad as lie had been, lie loved his mother. From that timie lie became an exemiplary ind(ivid nl, though to lbe surc,thore was noe reason for his being otherwise, for lie had all lie needed without being dlishionest. And the 01(1 lady -whlo never guessed whet had brought her son back to her-li ved happy ever lifter. They were holding an outdoor ward meet ing the other night ini Detroit, Michigan, and a speaker had just coiimenced to warm up to lis work when a strangter with all lisa worldly "duds" in an 0old shicepskin on his back, hoots gone, hat going aind a dyed-in-the-wool tramp air about him, halted oii tihe outskirts of the crowd. Th'ie speech soon caught himi and lie began to applaud. At the end of ce cry sentence lie clapped lis hands and roaired like a fog. horn. No matter whether the speaker 'lit I 'em' or not, the stranger neve. failed to comle down with the applause, and lie car ried a goodl share of the crowd wvith hIn. After the speaker had finished, andi while he was wip)ing lia heated b)row, the trampll ap)proached him and said(: "T'hat 'ore sp)eech was one of the best I ever heard in my life." " 'Ah! l'mi gladi it pleased you," "Pleased niet Why It lhf 1ed1mn right off'n my feet! I tell you, you're a born Iorator, and I just wish I could stay In this town and( hear you make a speech every I night." ''"Yes, I wish you could." "But I shan't, I'm on my way West. I r shahll, however, think of your speech a hun dred tinies a (lay. I can feel the electrich I, ty of it yet, and-say, can't you lend me a half a doilliar to help inc on?" "Why, I dIon't know you. Why should r I head you half a dollar?" "Oh, come now, dion't try to ride any high horse over me; you know how loud I hollered, and you know as well as 1 (10, r, that if I hadn't put in my best licks you'd i have fallen as fiat as a shingle! Yoti are a r great orator, sir, and that was a groat a speech, but If you don't know that holler Iinmg is what does the business, you'd better I hang right up." rThe orator ponddsred over the matter for a few seconds,. andt then probably con e luded thiat tlte'reasoning was sound, as ho I pabaed over)he money. Llin opr'baldits Heine. tlhe I ba- Cappera is a unall narrrow island-a great rock in fact, with a few. patches o1 soll here and there-of about twenty-twi miles in circuit and three or four in width, ort separated from the northernmost part of Bar. ind dinIa- as Valentia is from the coast ol Kerry- by a strip of sea some two and a half miles across. It was once well knowii to the British sailor, for' it lies close to th n- Aladdalena, one of Nelson's stations in the cle Alediterranean. The only habitations art a few shepherds' huts and Garibaldi'i Igh house, situated on the western side, about of three quarters of a mile on the highei ground. It Is a one storied building.i. 6 , a gronnd-floor only, divided Into severi an plain unadorned rooms: a kitchen with ap nal phances any small farmer's wife in England would conlider very insufficient; a dininq .e. room with a plain deal table, largeenough, however, to accommodate a party of twen. ty-flve; a little storeroom; three bedroomi see for his children and any friends who ina he land upon the island; and his own bed. chamber and study combined-a gooc ir. sized room with two windows, (one to thc )od east, the other to the south) a carpetles boarded floor like the deck of a ship, and ly whitewashed walls. Its chief articles ol ife furniture are a plain, roomy, iron bedstead, tie- four common chairs, a simple writing-table, lie an old-fashioned chest of drawers, and a mn- shower-bath. Everything is of the mos ordinary kind, but there is no affectation ol Spartan alnplici ty, and in atriking con Ore trast to the modest aspect of I lie place art luy a nuinler of things scattered about. Ou try the bed Is a splendid counterpane of white by cashmere, most exquisitely enbroidered for him in silk by the ladles of Milan; and standing in one corner, as carelessly placee as if they were a bundle of sticks, are sov. Oral swords of honor, with Damascut blades and hilts of gold set with gems, pro a sented to him by his fellow countrymen o1 ore Nice, Rome, and other cities; but what ht ud, prizes far more is a box of tools for culti vating and Ingrafting vines, sent him by "- some friend in England. Flung over thc back of the chair is a handsome poncho en- of a rich. white material lined with red, the gift of a distinguished Milanose lady. ligs Hung against the wall are a telescope aml a binoeular, both presents from England. "ng These were used by him in the campaigr ore of 1800; and on his writing-table, togethei with a volume of P11utarch and some , works on mathematics, lies a book of har. it's bor plans given to him years ago an a mo. mUt ient of need, by the captain of an Englisli I'd ship, in the Port )f Canton. On the floot ow, by his bedside there is a tiger skin tc "tti step upon; above the head of the bed hangE es. his mother's portrait, and at the side is a ac stand on which lie a revolver and a dagger. Ity This dagger is another record of his wife. She always wore it hanging from hei ter waist; and after her death, during the ro. lat treat from Rome in 1849, Garibaldi con of tinued to carry it in remenbrance of her, he until lie lost it from his side during th< .ie fight at Caserta on the 1k of October, 1860, th- It was found, however, by a Calabrese, who restored It to the General, and sinc< rn- that its place has been by his bedside. Un, UP less the General rings his bell no one Is per 0- imitted to enter his rooni with the excep ad tion only of his son Menotti. On the wall [n- of the dining room hang some water color He representing 9pisodes in the Montevideau ver war of independence, a photograph of at 3n incident in the siege of Venice in 1849, anC in one corner a Brazijian lance carried b3 ly. one of his favorite t&oopers in Soutt led America. Outside the door ofsiiq room i by a Mexican saddle, with stirrups ok 1i've. or, made in the form of reversed crowns. Thu k a was a present from a Mexican friend, and . is a record of the battle of Mellazo. It wai tce when lie used it there that part of one ol the stirrups was shot away by a cannon, lie ball. A little to the north of the cottag( stands one of those portable iron habita tions for colonialuse sent to Garibaldi fron et- Enigland.~j Its four little rooms andi kitchiei ndl ar occupied by Bassi his secretary, and Oni opposite to It the mill where the flour fot hie the General's family and household ii ndi( ground. Trhe household , howvever, is nol 1se numerous. It numibers but three persons an old soldier, a Venetian emigrant, wI< acts as the General's Orderly, and server for love not, for money; another man wh< ie- coonsa, and a woman to do the washing anm ing tidying-up. The guests at Caprera are re ast qmiredl to make their own beds. urt- "You, Peter, top That." ow Once there was a very poor woman wh< Shad an only son. She did her best by hiin and brought him up as well as she could, li Whenever he dlid well she praised him, but whenever lie did anything she thoughl w wrong, foir instance playing marbles 0r - unday, stealing apples from their neigh b)or's trees, teasing little girls or tying tir i-kettles to tihe cat,'s tail, she used to cal out: as Ysril Peter, stop that," in a peculiarly shrilltone. immediately another voice, sharpet mad and shiriller than hers, would cry out: ce"You, Peter, stop that." ICd It belonged to the yellow parrot, wh< leswung in a big basket-work cage on thi wall. Sihe had learnt the sp)eech by listen eat ing to it so often, although she was not onvery accomplished ;parrot, and knew littl else besides but 'Polly' wants a cracker,' ed and "poor Polly." The boy lovedi hi ho mother, but he was rather a wi:d, had sor of a boy. When lie was about sixteci years 01(1 he left the carpenter to whomh -was ap)prenticed and ran away to sea obhowever, before lie went lie wrote a not' hyto his miother, telliig haer not tQ w'orry,tha hb le liked the sea better than sawdust, an< hethat he would come back with a cap ful 'Oof money some1 dlay. Morever, he tok(i lie the vessel lie slipped on-The Jane. The mother wept an(t prayed,as all goot miothicra do, while her boy was on the sea men but she b)elievedi that lie was, after all,fon< iys of her, and she expected himi back, uni rie- ono day she read In the paper that The Jant up lad gone down In mid ocean with all lie: rty crew and( cargo. aw- Tihen It, seemed to her that all the high uly of thle world had been quenched. She and gave hersif up to misery and longed to die the Indeed, she would have prayed for deati ren had she not feared that thIs would be a wicked. the flowever death spared her, and took in. lay stead a certain cousin who had made a large fortune, and was about to be maruio( tier to a pretty woman,and who was very,very per anxious to live. 11ls dieath made an hieiress to of the poor widow, and though she care< vaa nothing for the money now she had tos aId her Peter,the lawyers made her come ovel emi to the reading of the will, and finally per re- suadled he' to settle in the handsome hious hihwas furnished for the poo, at A "Cooked" Witness. It was a suit for a divorce, down in Kon nebeck County, Maine. The husband, a surely, mean faced, ferret eyed, beetle browed man, who kept a village store, and sold liosspecker's Bitters and some other things, wanted a divorce from his wife. They were both in court. Tho woman was sickly lookmg, and very likely, had been driven into hysterics by the brute who called himself her husband. The prlacipal witness for the libellant was another beetle browed, ferret eyed, ncan visaged fellow, who tended store for the latter, and board ed in his family. And this witness had been "cooked" had been "(tone up brown"-by both his emplloyer and his en.ployer's lawyer. It was plain to be seen that lie answered by rote,-that the words be spoke had been Put into his mouth by another. When the attorney for the wife came to questloi% this witness, after his own lawyer had (lone with him, Ie said to him, with a smile, the whole meant for the jury, of course. "You've got your lesson pretty well, haven't you, sir ?" "1I haln't got no lesson !" "All right. But let us see: You say, If 1 understand you, that Mrs. B--has a very retallatini disposit ion ?" "Yes sir, -that's what I said." "Well,-and how did she retaliate? Give us an instance." "Why," grunted the witness, with a stupid look, "I've told lots -f 'emi.'" *'Yes,-and now I want you to tell me one. Tell me, and the jury, if you please, a marked case of her retaliation." "My,-I've told you once,-shie was al ways retallatin'." "Exactly ; but we want a particular in stance, so that we can judge of its real merits. Now look. Did you ever see the libellant in this case-your employer-kiss lia wife?" "Yes, sir?" the man answered quickly. "'And what did the wife (to on that oc casioln?" '"She retaliated, imiejitly l" "That will do. You may go down." The conucil for the libellant would have called the witness back, but the judge whispered to himi something which nobody else lieard, but which caused him to let the witness go. Tihe dirvorce was not decreed. The Willows at St. 1ol1na. The willow which overshadows the first Bcnaparte's grave is the second planted HIiIce the interment of the Einperor, and Is 26 years old. Willows at St. Helena, it would appear, rarely attain a greater long evity than 30 years, and shoots are care fully preserved for planting. The ex - Kn press Eugenie brought away soni young shoots and a few violet and gera'tin 1,11118 froi the tomb, some for Isrsentationi to Her Majesty the Queen, >uid some for her self and her friends. This JlorA1 cullus has been going on for nearly sixty years. Writing to Lord 11athurst, immediately after the interment of Napoleon, Sir lind son Lowe said: "I shall cause a railing to he put around the whole of the ground, It being necessary even for the preservation of the willows, many sprigi of which have already begun to be taken by ditferemt mn dividuala who wt nt dtown to visit the place after the funeral.'' This is the incident which, as Mr. Forsythe has m ell pointed out, was afterward so ludicrously yet so ml 1;evolent ly distorted byAntommarehi, who (lesciibed Sir Hudson Lowe as turniug pale and foaming at the mouth with rage when lie witnessed this "spontaneous manifesta tion of feeling." "Iudson," as the Italian surgeon styled Sir Hudson Lowe, endeavor ed to check the ''manifestation of feling" by "anger and threats;" but the guilty were nunerous,'and of all classes of people and he could not; therefore, punish. JVhecn a new History of Polit,ical Lying comie* to be written (and is not the time almost rip.; for such a publication ?) a spe cial volume sh'ooka b\9 thevoted to the varn ens narratives of the captivig~ a9f,Napholeon I. A Oisne Tra,ng,, The first, Chinese tramp ever'seen ini Uti ca visited that pla1ce a few days ago. iIe came from the WVest. TIhere was an un-i mistakable Celestial air about himn, pigtail and all, but thme pack fastened on 1-is shioul dler betokened the trampj. When the heathen Ilrst attracted attention lie was en (deavorlig to run the blockadle at the depot gate. lIe had no tiecet, amid Mr. Moyer declined to adlmit lhan to the (depot yard Iinclosure. ''Where ia your ticket," asked the gate. keep)er. "No foolee Chiinee." "lit you cain't pass through unless you have a ticket." "No foolec Chinee." Officer Evaiis was summaonedl to p)revenat the Celestial from breaking the barricade at the gate. "Whera (10 you want to go ?" skcd the oillcer. "No foohee Chince." William D)unn came to the iescue. Wheni hie asked the alnond-eyed niman whet her lhe had any money, the reply was: "No foolee Chaine," Then the officials exp)eriencedh conisldera ble trouble with him, and as the train bound East was standing in the yard, Mr. Vanderhecy bought a ticket for Frankfort and tend(ered it to the Mongolian. Hie (o.. (-hined to receive it, shaking his head and chuckling: "No foolee Chinee." Appearances I ndicatedl that the foreigner had paddledl on 'foot over the railroad ties frona some far Western city and after con.* sulatin with. Superintendent PrIest, the Mongolian was permitted to resume his pedestrianism on the line of the Central. iIe scooted through the depot gate in tri umnph, struck a bce-line East, and made off like a carrier-pigeon, simply remarkinag: "No foolee CThinee." And they dlidn't. Magnets in Mala. It seems that the Introduction of magnets into the great grain malls of i ho WVest has worked finelly. Not only have they cap tured all tihe stray pieces of Iron b nds,and thus remioved ,tho only obj,ction urged agailmt wire-banding harivesters, bu' they have rev'eahed the singular fact that, of the scraps of iron and steel wm.ieh find their way mixed with wh at to the mills, fully one-half are sopnethinig besides pieces of wire, and a larger proportion of those are of such a nature' s to.be even more dan gerous to mil. mbAOuhjery. The magnets gather everthing of this kind with eeFtaii. tv. Love Powders. Recently a green looking spechmen of humanity, evidently fresh from the harvest fields of Cranberry, strolled into the Metro politan drug store, at Oil City, Pa, His hair was long and well bleached by the weather; his skinny, pimpled face was about the color of a red cow. He wore a very broad brimmed, twenty-five cont straw hat; had on a colored jean shirt, and over his shoulder a single suspender held in place a pair of blue duck pants, or overalls.: Ilis large shoe s were worn red, by con. tinuously coiming in contact with the stub. ble in the hayfield, and were - -qn at tlie tops and In the toes, exposir view 14 thick pair of home knit, woo -14gs.. The whole make up was sat .7ith perspiration, which at once gaN eou liar odor anl an appearance not altogether lovely. With a vacant look lie bashfully sidled up to the counter and accosted Win Cowell, who was in attendance, with: "I've licarn tell 'bout love powders. Did you'ne ever hear tell on 'em f" "Oh, yes," replied Win, "I've frequent ly heard of them," at the same time won dering what in the world the lovel.T erea ture before him could be driving at. "Wall," continued greeney, "I reokon as how you'ns liain't got none of 'em, has ye?" "Certainly, we keep them constantly in stock," r,phed the affable druggist. -llow dew ye sell 'emI" "'Twenty-tive cents per box. ''low many on 'en in a box?" "Four powders in each box. "Wall, now; ain't that rather steep?" "The component ingredients of the pow ders, which render them eflicacious luover. coming the propensities and passions of the opposite sex, placing then wholly in your power, and subservient to your own will, are vegetable productions, from the sun kissed shores of Greenland, Imported at great expense, and it must be apparent to you that at the price asked-" "N All, I don't keer 'bout hearin' any more o' that. If these 'ere powders will do the busiuess I'm willfu' to 'low tow shillin's, teough I reckon, that's tarnal high. But I'm bound to got even." "Shall I put them up for you?" "Ya-a-s, I guess so." Win then went to his prescription desk and in a few minutes returned with a little box containing four small powders in pa perd. "You must be mighty careful," said he, "about giving these. Half of one of those poo ders is a dose," "Never you mind," responded the young man, "I'll give 'er 'nough if I have to give thiemi all at once. lie thn fished a twenty-five cent silver piece out of his leather pocketbooi, placed it on the showcase and walked out. When lie had gone, Cowell remarked: "That's a I. retty good price for sugar." A SeriomR Weding Joke. There was a triple wedding injest in Laveta, Colorado, a week or two since. The partios were F. D. Mc Holland, Deputy &Kheriff of Huerfano-county: E. A. Palier, agent of the Denver and Rio Urande railroad, and another gentleman whose name was not printed, but he is a sawyer and has a big sawmill somewhere. Trhe young ladies were Kate Lewis,' Addie Patterson and Laura Paterson of Laveta. The gentlemen were visiting the ladies and running out of small talk one of them pro posed to the three giddy girls to have mar. riage ceremonies-in fun, of course. They thought it would be splendid, and paired off accordingly. A messenger was sent for a third party to help carry out the jolly game-and all went merry till he came. lie was W. A, Toffelire, a very innocent looking man in appearance. le was told what waa wanted, and nothing loth, he ofliciated at that family alter. When the ceremonies were over one of the girls said it was tIe jolliest joke she ever sawv played. "Joke," said Troffeimire, "its no joke. I'm a Justice of the Peace, and you're all fast mnarriedlr" Tlhen there was a chorus of screams andl faints. The girls had never dirmied t.getting married in earnest. The gentle men, it-tppears, did, and they played It fIely. They hiid.4u9odwinked the girls withi merrinent. What Eart-' be done. The fIrst tiing to do was to get tlih?g9iltle men of the party out of that house alit they went without further ceremony than a pressing invitation to leave given by. the old folks who lived there and did,nt know what was going on In the parlor. The three men went to their respective homes crestfallen. It was not half as funny as they anticipanted, for they inagIned the girls would give in when they found out, how they had been married by stealth. Divorce is the only remedy that can be ap plied unless they finally concaide to stick, and one at least ought to stick out of three. One of the girls is sakli to be0 engaged to a young muanw la id(igging a plie of gold4 for her at Ban Juan, and the affair is a little bit ''rough" on her and her betrothed minier. The others might make a virtue of necessity andl carry out the joke. 'A Olover Trick. Th le Japan Mall describes a clever trick ' which was beIng exhibited by a native jug- " gk-'r at Joshida bashmi. The performance imakes place In a small room about twenty. six feet long antI twelve feet wide, half be ing allotted to spectators, who are admit tedi on payment of' the moderate fee o1 two cents. T1he "properties" consist of a deal table and a sword, etc. After tihe usual soul-stirring floutrish on a drhum and a ant isen, a man andl woman appear from behind a screen, the manm binds the woman's head In a cloth, antd sihe then kmnees (Iowa close ' to the table, and sidewhys to the spectators. The mean then dlraws tho sword, makes a vielent blow at the woman's hiead,sho falls forward, armas extendedl and limbs twitch ing. lie then having irst wiped the swor4i on a gory-loomoing piece of rag taikes op, (apparently) the womian's head, wrapped 4 in the cloth, and p)laces it on the table.' To all appearance it is a human head, the eye 11(15 andl features have a convulsed motion' presently the eyes open in a dreamy BOti; (I way, and to theoaccomnpanimentof the ever- . lasting samisen, the head sings a mournlul song. A curtain is interposed betweent the ~ audience and the performers, and then again drawvn back the woman is disclosed quietly seated alongside the man. When it is recolected that this all takes place with. Iu shout three feet from the spectator, and that the "propertie'' are of the shple a description, some av~ be sod the wonderfuloele -ae aof t~ whhas excited a leifJ&." 'K'1he frti o% a mu i' i ilNdkat bf in Mt