The news and herald. (Winnsboro, S.C.) 1877-1900, August 26, 1880, Image 4

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The Morphine Tricks A few days ago one of the seediosi sort of tramps, seemingly about fiftj years old, attached himself to a fre( lunch sWloon on Monroe avenue, De. troit, and soon felt perfectly at home, When ordered out ho went out, but the trouble was he wouldn't stay out. As a last resort he was kicked out,but in ari hour he came back and seemed so hum. ble and forgiving that the proprietor didn't like to give him any more cow hide. After a day or two a different plan was tried The vag had several times referred to a pain in his chest, and the barkeeper mixed him up a cure, In ten minutes after drinking It he was excitedly informed that he had been given a large doze of morphine by imis take. A party was at hand to play doctor, and it was deelded that the tramp must walk until heoveroame the influence of the drug. One and another took turns with him until he had put in about four hours in the back yard, and he was then told to walk in the country at least five miles to make his cure cer tain. He took the case very coolly, never, protesting a word, and as lie started for the green fields It was sup posed that the saloon had seen the last of him. Nevertheless, he returned In about four hours, lame in the left leg, covered with dust, and apparently almost exhausted. lie said he had walked in vain. Finding that death was determined to claim him, he had returned to die with his friends. Be fore they could protest lie fell to the floor, breaking the back ofl a chair and upsetting a table, and after a few kicks he was dead. A pint of good brandy was wasted in rubbing him, the saloon closed for an hour in the face of a big business,and an undertaker and coroner called before the old chap let any one known he wasn't dead. lie came to in some sort of fit which required a great deal of kicking, and he took good care that every kick counted on something. When sufficiently restored to sit upi he was given nearly half a plint of wine, and as his strength Increased hegot away with enough luncheon for four men. It was deemed good polley to hand him half a dollar and turn him out upon the world. Just how much profit the saloon keeper imade in play ing the morphine trick is what will puzzle him for a week to come. The Brinkerhoff Trap. . Knowing that a bald head Is the one temptation that no fly ean resist, Ilr. BrInkerhoff' has contrived a trap based upon the knowledge of this fitct. The "Brinkerhell fly-trap" consists of a life size figure of a middle-aged man with a bald head. The figure is iadeo of wax, colored so as to perfectly Imitate the complexion of a iniddle-aged and healthy diner-out, and the lied IR io constructed that at fixed intervals ot fifteen minutes concealed clock-works cause a roller to pass over the skull with rapidity of lighting. The Brink erkoff trap, when placed in any room, will instantly attract every fly present. It Is, to all appearance, prencsely the kind of man whom 11ies delight to annoy, and consequently, the moment a fly sees it, lhe wvili abandon a lump11 of sugar, or a b>wl of milk, or even a sleeping baby, and pounce on the bald head. At the end of fifteen minutes the roller passes over the head and crushing every fly in its p)ath. The ane process is repea.ted over and ever again unt,il all the files in the room are exterminated. Th'le trap) has been tried in several of the leading restauranits in Ph iladelphia wvith comiiphete success, killing, on an average, thirty full quarts of fies per hourti, and the linven tor has received thousands of certifi cates from leading citizens exp)ressing their obligations t.o him, and their do terminmation never to be without a Btrinkerhoff' trap. Au Intr' ingent work-nsorac. An anmusing instance of eqinei in telligene is related in regard to h horse Paddy, (doing steady and faithblu] service in the H[ortoni louse, San l)iego, Californi na, baggage wagon. Pad'dy Is stab ed and wvell fed at .Johnuny liin ton's, itnd regularly every morning he Is barnmsed to his wagon, and, uniat tended, goes directly to his wonted stand in front of the main entrance t. the Hiorten House, where, all unno. tweed, lie av'aita patiently any requisi tion which ni'y be madec for hi m. If' thc morning is leasanlit Paddy remains as Immov-ible as a rqok till wanted ; but i1 the morning is cold, windy or damp after waiting a reasonaba time, he (1e liberately walks aroud to the eastern end of the house anid enters thie horst shed at the north -cast corneor, opp)osit( the Methodist church. lIn perl -rming~ this feat the horse makes two shari: turns at right angles, and never strikeu post, sidewalks, or slops in so docing, Bo regular is the horse in regurd tc seeking shelter if the morning is dis agreeable, that whenever any one aboul the house has occasioa for Paddy's ser vices, they invariable know wheither te go to the front or the side doors to fInd him. On Friday morning the horst was hItched upJ at the staible as usual, and. started for lis accuistomnest place al the front. As he left the stable, how. ever, the steamer Ancon was julst round. Ing the point off the foot or D) streel on her way to the dock. Paddy, trut as steel, stopped, as Is his regular cuo tomn, but time porter failed to deman( his services as quickly as usual 01 steamer days, so, remaining at hIs posl until after the Ancon's gun was fired the horse took up lis line of' march t< the wharf, evidently understanding that he would. be needed there a: soon as the passengers arrived at thb landing. After completing the labor in which he was engaged at the time the porter was directed to go to the wharf with Paddy, and started out foi that purpose. But Paddy was nowhere to be seen.. Thinhcng the stableboi derelict in his duties, the porter pro ceeded to the stable to "hurry up" mat ters as It was getting late, and waus as tonished to learn that Paddy had beci sent out as usual. D)ilxgent search was then instituit4d for &he miss.nj horse and wagon, wiien it was soo] learned that the animal had been see; going down Fifth street toward th wharf. Sure enough, Paddy had reacl ed the wharf In safety, and was them found with the wagon backed u] against the platform as oarefully as I he had been guided! by the porter him self, and stood patiently w .iting t have his wagon filled with baggage All the while the horse was lookinj .about him uneasily, as much as to say "Baggage for the Horton House-thi way, gentleman," and there is littli doubt if the horse had received his ac oustomed load before the arrival of th< porter, he would have taken the sani to the house without accident. A New Moulely Laugh. One of the summer fashions is a nev laugh, which goes like this: "Te-lie te-lie I Ha, ha, ha I Oh-h-h-li--ha, ha ha I" The directions are as follows "A low and sly beginning is made witl; the 'te-he,' as though mirth was strug gling Inside to break out through maid enly reserve, and the mouth Is kept tightly closed, while the eyes are open ed wide, thus giving an expresion ol mingled demureness and mischievous, ness. Then follows the 'Ha, ha, ha, higher and louder, with a parting ol the lips to show the teeth, 1i they b white and regular. The 'Oh, h-h' come next in a t6ne of surprise, reproof or artless gayety according to the natur( of the thing laughed at, and the vote( rises into a pretty little scream. Th( ensuing pause covers a sudden sense of the impropriety of making so mucli noise, the eyes are cast down, and a blush can In most instances be pro duced by holding the breath with the lungs very fully inflated. The final 'Ha, ha, ha, is given as a crescendo, spiritedly and without any show of restraint, like .the outbursting hilarlty of an unconv6ntional milkmaid." ThiE novelty In laughs is heard everywherc In the metropollo and Is sure to become popular at the summer resorts. With a little alteration It can be made to fit any m1outh, 11ird ofiluly. In July one hundred and eight specieE of birds should be found in the Eastert and Middle states. In that month many of the smaller birds have broods of younp ready to fly, and scen to be placed in a world of perplexity. Out in the apple tret belind the house is the little lichen-cover ed nest. of a pair of least flycatchiers. Thi young have within a day or two left th( nest, and the old birds hardly know whal to (1o with tlieni. A passer-by throws th( parents into an agony of alarm. Tlhey flut. ter and clir) and refuse to be quiet unti the stranger is out of sight. There is con. tinually sonic cause for fear; now a cai prowls through the grass and now a stray crow black bird, whose taste for young fly. catchers is specially developed, flies so thai the poor flycatcheiswill not be at rest until their young are strong enough to fly an(i wise enough to be timid. Go into th< woods anywhcre an( you will find tle bird busied about their young, collectinp their food and teaching them how to fly, Imitate the cry of a wounded bird by mak. ing a screching noise %% ith your hipi against the back of your hand and you wil soon be surrouindled by cager throngs 0. buirds, all anxious to see if any of their litth ones have fallent into your clutches. Gc imto the pine groves, remain quiet fo a while and you wvill see restless lithl ehickade, black throated green warblers lacik and( white creepers, redl eyedi vircos WVilson 's thirutshes, blue jays and otheri less coniunon. Pass f rom the grove of aldern and birches, and bordered by ia swamp,l and yoiu w~ill find( a very dtifferenit diisplay of birds life. .lle will be found thu Maryland yellow throat, andl with hin wvill comle the song sparrow, the birowvi thrush, the chewink, the cat bird, and1( ret winged blackbird, the summer yellow~ warbiler and the indigo bird. Our muixec wo<ods of chesnut, oak, miaple, p)ine, birch. are rich in bird life. Listen for the sligh. est rustle in the leaves, watch for the swvay ing of a twig, for these slight signs revea the piresence of some modest songstel whose (delicate beauty surpasses that of thn richest fabrics, and whose graceful move ments charm the fortunate obiserver wh< can in and( 11( see our birdls at hioime. Thi first bird to attract attention will be thu chesnut sided wvarbler, with lis pretty yel. low capf and chesnut sides; and, se wvhere in these woods; y'out will not, fail Lc see warbiling vireos, woodl poe~es, b)lut yellow-backed warblers, red1 starts, oven. birds, andl downy woodpeckers. 113' rarn good fortune you may13 catch a glimpse of rose-b)reaistedi grosbeak,or of a scarlet tana. ger, that brilliant king of the woods, whost brIght i erhusjn 1)lumnage lnst anti)' attracti y'our eye as lhe swings easily alonig the top most branches. Not, alone in the woods hut take a stroll in the miead(owv, with on who keeps hus eyes and1( ears open, ani learn the birds there. Meadow larks: biobohinks; field, grass, yellow-winged, amu av'anniah sparrows; cow black birds; ai manuiy others Ily ablonit you, or spring ui almost under your feet. Climnb the stom wall andE sit (down unoder the orchiart boughs andl watch. lIt're we see orioles king-birds, cherry-blirds, phiohles, golden wingred wYoodpieckers, chipping sparrows cnckoos, bluebirds, and the swift swallow all active and full of business, huntinj (dOwn and1( kilunig the caiterp)illari, dhestroyim the curcuhios, and the new laid eggs of th "army wvorm'' mothi, carrying dlevastati lnto the ranks of the "'cut worm" mioth and p)rovlig themselves the best friends a the agriculturist by dlestroying the man: Insects Injurious to vegetation. Cheeorfuinoss. Cheerfulness should be regaredE as dluty, because it has much to (1o with oui own indilviduual hiapp)iness and1 the happi ness of those auround( us. We should thiere fore endeaver undl(er all ciretumstances t< cultivate a cheerful dihspolsition, and( hope fully look upon the bright side of thmnga rather than on that which is gloomy an' dihsheartemtng. Life, in Its best hases has its trials and diflicltles, and( much tha is calculated to depress the spirits, but it I unmnuily to yield to these discouragomenit and become gloomy andl sad uinden what perhaps after all, is a blessig in disguise calculated to develop the highest Christtal graces and cast our character into a mode of great moral b)eauity. But while life hi its ills, it has also its joys, and t,hese a: far more numerous than its sorrows. proper con)sideration of the comforts an< blessings which surround us, of the kin, care which our lleavenly Father exercle over use, and of the prospect of ultimat deliverance from all sorrow and pain, shioijll sustain ouir mmd, inspire us with courage and hnablo us cheerfully to endlure. -. A Nicw YORK engraver recentl made this mistake: "Mr. and Mrn ---respectfully request your prei r ents at a marriage of their Kaniaite. AGRULTIB. e --PRoMPTns IN FAtM WOMK--Ther are few things more important to sue cess in farming than' proiptness in ex ecuting all necessary farm work. 1k p the planting, cultivation and harveit f lg of all farm oraps It is essential tla . the work be done in time, for delay i liable to result In loss, If not in entirt failure. Work done too late is rarel as effectual as that done In season, be. i sides being often much nore expensive For instance : if the cultivation of a ReU of corn, wYhen weeds are starting thicl or fast, Is delayed a week too long, the work becomes much more laborious am costly, and besides the crop is perma nently injured. Iii stich caste the work of cultivation increases by a rati< with each day it is delayed. If thc planting of a field of corn Is delayed a week too late, it may not have time to become fully developed before Autuin al frosts, thus causing lobs A farmer habitually behind with his work 14 not a good farmer. lie pi:oves his nau bility to manage his business properly Such a farmer, like a man in debt, am paying Interest labors under a disad vantage. He either attempts too little help, or, as is frequently the case, uses too little head work. If we wish al. ways to be prompt with our work we must employ some thought In our busi r ness. Forethought is one of the far .mer's best servants. It will. if prop, erly guided, enable us to arrange our business that our work, shall be don at the right time. If we do not thin, of our work until it.is time to do It we will almost always find unexpectea circumstances which will cause more o less delay. The successful farmer sees and provides for emergencies before they arlse, and lays out a plan of action at the commencement of every plece of work. Right here we believe Is th< line that often exists between good and poor farmers, or those who are not. The successful farmer takes great In terest In his work, and is continually looking ahead or forecasting, so that ie is never in doubt wilat-to do or how tc do it. The successful farmer employi little thought In his business, lays few careful plans, and when emergencies arise ~has no provisions made to meet them, and thus, often' gets behind with hislwork, and In his haste to "catch up" with it. suffers loss, for "haste makes waste." VALUIC OF PARSNIPS-For spanning over the seasoii " between hay and grass" there Is nothing better than parsnips. 'TUhey are the only roots that will remain in the ground all win far without injury from freezing. Th3y may be dug and fed to stock at any time after the frost Is out 9f the soil till they begin to leave ouf. For cows giving nillk in early spring they are excellent. Horses, sheep and pigs will also eat then readily. If they are boiled or steamed pigs and fowls prefer them to almost any kind of food. Pars tilps are extensively raised for feeding fowls In France and Belgium. When designed for fattening lowls for the ta ble they are first boiled or steamed and then fried in cheap fat. The parsnip Is more valuable for human food than most persons suppose. They should be first boiled and then cut in thin slices and fried in lard, butter or "drippings" till thu burface is brown.-Cooketd In this way they are excellent when served with ham or roast meat. No edible root is tas easily raised in this country as the parsnip. Our climate is not favorable to the production of turnips, but parsnips may be raised with very little trouble, They should be planted in driUls from two to three feet apart, and thinned out so that the plants have a space of about four inches between thorn. If cultivated by hand tihe rows may be only eighteen inchles apart. It is necessary to cultlya'.c the lants by hand. After they have at Lainedl considerable size the foliage wvill shade the ground so that little cultiva tion is necessary. Five hundred bush I ci per acre Is an average yield. Tlo DESTiOY TnE GABBiauE WonM---The comp)laint attil continues of thle rava ges of the.cabbage-wormn and( a demand for a remedy for it. In an agrleiul journal, a few wveeks ago, a correspondm(. cat told of' lis troubles Jast year and that they weie alread(y beginning this season, and asked for some way to dis lodge the worm. &everal knowing personls res8pondeld, and In loolking over thleir remecdles we did not regard oneC of' them as furniishing what waIs need( ed. But we can tell the enquirer and all other-s what is a remecdv for the cabbage wvorm, which Is witin ever'y one's reach, if' it is puroiwrly apl)ied, It is ailmpl)y to sprinkle over the par-ts of cabbage planlt where thme worm us. .ually operates, a p)1nch1 of cayenne or' redl pelper. Nothing more or less. Keep1 a few ounces on hand and use it when nleeded, .but use it carefully so as to reach the insect, and It will priomptly dislodge it. Pouor.TaY Y Annsi--E~very ch icken house shiould have ani ample)1 yard or grass runl, Never clip the wings O1 fowls il t can be avolldd; It disflgures the bird, p)revents the rIght use of the wings, and consquently they will n-ot thrive as well. T1hoy should have small trees or grape vines for shade, or to scratch undeor. Ground bonec, sui phlur, charcoal and cayoiine pepp)er Ishould be administered every eight or ten dlays. Sulphur, pepperC and char. coal, a teaspoonflul mixed wIth the mornling feed, will contribute t'nuch to the health and applearanlce of' the fowls, Fowls should have meat onice a week, Cabbages, apples, iqttuce, etc., all art good, and( will more than pay for their cost in the inoreased sutpply of eggs. Young chickens should be kept diry and clean, at the same time hiaving pure air, They should have an abun. dance of fresh water. They shoult no aeaccess to stagnant 1)001s or an3 A a milk and ecamu amrc great absor bents of ipurities in confined aIr, we have frequently stuggested that ever) enre should be exercised in keeping milk rooms perfectly ipuro and clean The flrkinshould be 111lied tihe clay be . fore needed with boilIng water, and ii an hour mixed with cold wvater. Per. feet cleanliness, Is a ver'y limportan consideratIon fromn the milking of the cow until tile butter is brought.to mar jkot. Figi on Glaiss.--Professor ,l ames WV t Ward, of Bull'alo, discovered lately B fungousa growth formed or panes 0 glass, and presented a theory that thea were due to human exhalations, 0] confined breath. A Mr Thois, Ginf1lol( i writes to a paper making short work o 1the fungi, by stating that he~ is a p)raec s tical glass-maker and has often 5001 e such1 appearances on glass, wvhichi ar, nothing but eihoroscence upon01 the suir *j face, due to the excess of sodif or po 1 tashi, and can be removedt h$y usinj s skillfully hiydrofiuorie acid. P'rofes 0 sor Ward, in reply, tones down hit original statement considerably, anm admits mlany errors, but still 1ho1(1 01 'to the theory that -thiere are fungi And so the matter rests for the present It appears to us a pity Professor Ware V did not cure the supposed 'fungi with I. nitric acid, which would, we suppose at once destroy* any vegetable suci as a fungi, and t husn etl thea a n DOMESTIo. H1*0T 11U10 CoFFXR.-With all ti 1neWfabglid 9offee Fte and numeroi inventidnsinl4i 1. ne, the secret making cofe 'FV*eihiple one. Is 91yO 'at the delicious oily Sul Sstangrounds aiid hold I IR t , tb9fore it flies off 1 I the al the house. Very r freshingit is'to smell the coffee -bol ing-Ia te ekithen whereon the .froi door:opjiii Oub,what goes out on tl air is Iost to the coffee pot. - A:oommo prao.#, .:*,* 0ooks 1 to grind thel 10 o ZKOO rih t, and p.tt it to boil, half A 1 toe breakfast time'. ] do - sometimes the.-.brow 1lu 411 i poured out of the eoffee6gi aftet Wlds has only its brown oolor i tell bY. All that makes it deliclot; has o9 out in steam up the Ohtm.ne] The usual coffee receipts give too mue water,.for they alloW room for some i boil away. There Iq no need of tha iTherefore, a pint of boiling water, in stead of a quart. to a cup full of groun coffee is a better -proputtion. Mix tb collee with enough cold water to mak it a paste, beat it a little with a spoor Put jIhe precise quantity of water yo desire into your bright tin coffee pol which must always be kept bright I you want good coffee. At the momer it bolls turn Into it your coffee past and set It back from the fire, where I will keep hot but not boil. The arom of the coffee-loes not pour out of tb spout, but remains within, and th coffee rather steeps than simmers. Thi is the true way to get all of its strengtl When just ready to serve draw it fc a moment over the fire to bring it t the boiling polnt, but not longej Then carry to table in the pot it J made in. Coffee made in this wa should be beautifully clear, withot the clearing otan egg. When the eg is used, either the shells can be throw into the coffee paste or the whil turned in on it and stirred, but n( beaten. The advantage of making col fee in this way Is that a small quantit goes f'urther, and that it can be alway ready for the breakfast bell, even I prepared some time before. The brigl metal pot keeps it hot, where ti blackened or smoked tin lets it gi cool too fast. No Hosptol Needed. No palatial hospital needed for Ho hitters patients, nor large-salaried tai ented puffers to tell what Hop Bitter will do or cure, as they tell their owi story by their certain and absolut cures at home.-Neo York Independen To CROCUET A BABY'S BIn.-Make chain of 38 stitches, widening in th middle, by making two stitches in th 19th loop. Turn, and D. C. back al ways throughout the work, putting ti hook in the outside half of the lool amd widening always in the middl Continue thus back and forth unt you can count 15 of these "ribs." fat ten and break off the cotton. Th e make a new chain of 55 stitcHes an fasten it with the hook to the uppe corner of the piece you have crochetei (opposite the corner where you brok off Lite thread, to make the rib com rightly), crochet down the side of th bib, widen at the corner, then acroE the bottom, widening at the center an aL the corner, then crochet up the othe side, and then make a chain of 5 stitches, without breaking off th thread. Turn, work back around th bib, and out to the end of the chain o: the other side, always widening at th corners and in the middle, and alway taking the back of the loop. Continu this until you can count eight ribs o tm side; theni finish with any prett edge you may fancy, and put cord an tassel of the cotton on to tie it on witi SUFFER not disappointment by .em ploymug too mn rjy "cures',''-but fo the diseases of flfancy use Dr. Bull' Baby syrup which never disappoints and costs only 25 cents a bottle. L~~ivE AND BAcoN.-One halt p)oun calf's liver, half pound of bacon ; slle this last thin, and cut oil' the rind, an< p)ut in frying pan and cook for fiv minutes over a moderate fire. Take th bacon from the pan, put into ahot disi: and set aside in the ovdn to keep hol Put the sliced liver into the latedriaw from the bacon in the frying pan. Le it fry for ten minute.s, and removet the bacon dish. Stir into the pan half ounce of flour'; when it is brown ed, add half a pint or soup stock, if yo have any on hand; salt, p)epper' and dlessert spoonful of catsup. Stir thi till it boils, then pour over liver an bacon, and serve. VEI'o'zNE is acknowlIedged by a classes of people to be the best and mci reliable blood purifier in the world. YEAST FRO~M GRuAE LBAvRs.-Grap leaves make a yeast in some respeci sup)erior to hops, an the broad Ii( sooner, andl has not the peculiar tast which many object to in that mad from hops. Use eIght or ten Ieave for a quart of yeast; boil thoem 'fc abhout ten minutes, and th.en pour th hot liquor on the flour, the quant,ity c the latter being determined by whethe the yeast is wanted thick or thin. Ut hiop) yeast to raise it to begin with, an after ward that made of grape leavea D)ried leaves wvill be as good as fresh ii' a dark111mi a ppears upon01 the surf1ac wvhen rising, a little atirring wvill1 obv3 it. CEMEsNT FOR, GECNERAL UsE.-Fc joinhig paper, card-board, or mode work, or similar articles, a good glu can be made of glue, vinegar and alc< hl. Dissolve two ounces of the boa transp)arent glue ia a quarter of a pir of strong eider vineger. L,et it almme slowvly by placing the dish containin it in a dish of boiling water. When.i has beome liquid, acid one ounce< highest p)roof alcohol, and keep tightly corked. If solidified by cold heat in hot water when needed for us: Diluted acetic aeld may be sub.stitute for the cider vinegar. .iF the Baby is to have health, it mu have sound and refreshinug sleep. D Bull's Ba by Syrup insures this. Prie 25 cents a bottie. V EaETAnimt Cuin.-Cumt some on ioi into thin slices, and fry themi a got brown in butter, add a breakfast cupfi of milk, in which a teaspoonful curry powder has been mixed ; let ai boil together for twenty minutes, sti ring the whole time; then add ti vegetables previously parboiled, all let the whole simmer by t,he side of ti fire for about- an hour. Potatoes, pea b aus, carrots and turnips can be use, but, broad beans alone make a iteicio' Scarry. NEUnA LGIA tEMEDbY.-Prepare hora radishi, by grating and mixing in yini gar, the same as for table purpose and apply to the temple when the fat or head is affected, or the wrist, wha the pain is in the arm or shoulder. WunN leaymn home for tile summer, thepr tIenot royldo tIosebes with Dr. .Jayne's Ca innaec Ba:in order to treat, ropt Jun e JItu n aaksof Cramp. aro y*Ostery,O)lr Morbus, *0--00:qpmaint ore or tepra,ent every W4sre 4t ti9W me ium ious. e A LADY called at a store on Winter t street, the other day, and inquired of Af a polite salesidan who was measuring It fringe: "Do you keep buttons?' )- "OppTite, madame, if you please," It said he, as h'e paused in his work, and n showed a row of yery White teeto. To' - his disniay'she walked deliberately out 1- of the door and crossed the street to 'a kt rival establishment. The young man te did not lose his situation, but he got a n blowing up that made him think r Fourth of July had come again with a. even more than its wonted explosive Lt neis. When anybody askq for buttons p now, he bars the passage to the door it with his yard- tick, and points ener o getically, while he exclaims, "Opposite is counter I ' with a special emphasis on r the last word. He is determined not h to be citght again at the game of but o ton, who's got the button or to suffer . from a counter ibovement. d A Great aterprise. e The HopBitters Manufacturing Com e pany is one of Rochester's greatest busi I . ness enterprises. TheIr Hop Bitters a- have reaehed a sale beyond all prece dent, havisig frovi-their intrinsic value f found their way into almost every ~ t household in the land.-Grphip. t Asa crowded car was, passing up a U! ast Broadway, a gentleman in the car e punched the driver 'in the back .with e is cano, and said: "I exiet that lady 5 wants to ride." The driver, supposing '. the gentleman had seen the lady signal r th.e car, put on the brakes and waited 0' for the lady, who weighedsabout two . hundred pounds, to come up, which a she did, afid passed on without getting Y in. "What made you think that lady it wanted to ride ?" growlef the driver. C "Because she was walking, my dear n fellow. It Is only those who are walk * ing outside of the car who want to get t inside. You never noticed that, did you? Never mind, I'll get you another 7 passenger directly," and he gazed in a tently down a cross street for the next if pedestrian. Lt - e "WHAT will you paint a couple of )t landscapes In oil for?" asked a chair dealer the.other day of a celebrated ar tist. Very reasonable, as business is dull," replied the artist. "Well, I p will let you know when you can com - mence.' After waiting some two 6 months. the artist, meeting the chair i dealer asked-if he was ready. "No, a sir, my chair painter is doinA it. a IN THE past eight years, scores of e soaps have come into the market, and e being worthless, have died a natural death. Dobbini' Electric boap, (made by Cragin & Co., Phill.,) old and rell able, leads the van. Try it. AN attorney brought an Immense bill to a lady for some business he had done for her. The lady, to Whom he d once paid his addresses, murmured at r the charges. "Madam," replied the I limb of the law, 6- wanted to convince e you that my profession is lucrative, and.that I should not have been .a bad e match. A FELLOW once walkei out of a store in Gloucoster with a fish which he had r stolen tucked under his vest. He hadn't gone far with his plurnder before he was brought to a halt by a shrewd 0 passer-by, .who taking in the situation at a glance, exclaimed, "see here my friend, you ought either to wear longer I vests or steal shorter fish." 5 A AGGAGE car with fifty trunks and a lot of other baggage was burned near Milford, Del., a few days ago, and the '. baggage smabher has been prostr'ed with grief ever since. Hie had felici - tated himself upon having one more r' wrestle with these trunks, and the dis 3 appointment has shattered iiis-neryou s esystem. AN amusing story is told-of a thrifty .ihouseholder in Newburyport. Massa e clausetto, who travels on a season Sticket to and from Boston, and having e purchased a bedstead in that city, car e ried it home piecemeal to save freight charges. IT is said that the deepest gorge 'in ~t the world has been disc3overed in Col o orado. We always had the impression a that the biggest gorge in this country . might be witnessed at a railway sta a tion where the train stops "five nin utes for lunch." a d IF you are hairless anid cappy there is one wvay and no more by which you may be made careless and happy-use t CARBOLI NE, a deodorized extract of petroleum, it will positively make new hair grow. A sTocKc company has been organ ized a in theE East for the manufacture of e plows. We don't want to hold any ot its shares. There-is no harder work athan to hold a plow share-when a ,. couple of horses-are pulling the plow. e f A nEE sting is said to be a sure re r lief for rheumatism. Those who have e tried it say you don't think of the i rheumatism for several hours after the .application. Foun hundred thousand dollars is -the reperted loss of the suspended First -National Bank of Newark~, and still the directors profess not to know where r the money is. e WnEN reform spelling becomes njil -versal a dime novel hero can write "I *lium uv a prowd and hotty race" with t out givi'ng himself dead away as regards r his early education. and should put on green glasses adview this class, would I not be Sdeceived in their appearance ?" "Well - no, I don't think you would." * A nLIND hegigar in Paris wears this dinscript,ion around his neck: "Don't be ashamei to give only a sou. I can't see." r. le JIational Treatment, Fositive Gures. Dr. It. V. Pierce, President of the is World's Dispensary Medical Assoela id tion, is in earnest in selling his medi ii cines under positive guar-antees, and if of anybody who purchases and uses any 11 of these w1ddly' celebrated remedies, r- does not derive benefit therefrom, the e Association' would like to hear fremi d that person with description of sy mp ec t9ms and history of case. Organized and inoorporated, as the Association is, to teach medicine,-and surgery and for Sthe successful treatment of all chronic diseases and managing annually thou sands of eases through our original ie method of diagnosis without ever see 3. ing the patients, and having the larg-. s, eat sanitarium in the world for the ac. ec commodation of the more complicated mn ..ases, and also for surgical cases, the Faculty feel themnselves prepared to undortalte even the -most discouraging cases. They resort to all the best re r. medial means kno,wn to modern medi ,ycal science-neglecting nothing. Ad dress, World's utispensarj Medical As ~.sotliation, Buffalo N. Y., or Grekt RIussell Street Biull'dings. London, n. Foe and GrWA'9 da*N thot DYS a great Foe.to . PIt' ethe sky and brealis th6hopes of "Uany'O ris. tIans. They think the trouble i inp tie1r hearti, wheb -it 14 in their storAlahs.. .Thus the stomach inAuqnces $he fee' ing to suach a degr thAtt s49uld be more carefully looked after and regu lated with the never,- failing 81imions' Liver Regulator, the constant use of which will.so Improve the feelings 's to make the heart happy 'and spirits. light. It is a wellknown fact tha5 food, Ildigestedt but imperfectly nourishes the system; as it is only partially as similated by the blood. Suf'erers with Dyspepsia whose circulation Is lI. poverishd and nerves weakened, ex perience a rapid and deolidd Improve ment in their physical and mektat cOn dition by the use of Simmons' Liver Regulator. Try it, and you will be as toni;hed at the good results. drweAt Praise. Albert G. Mann, of Oottage Home, Ill., sayst "I have been prostrated -for three or more years with Kidney Disease, at times I was not able to put on my boots, my wife has often pulled them on for me. I was not so bad as that all the, time, but I never kneW what it was to be without pain in my back until I :eommenced using Hunt's Remedy. Sine I commenced taking 'Hunt's Remedy -I have been free from alI pain, and take pleasure in saying that it is the Mest medicine lhat I evo knew for Kidney and Liver Diseass." Trial sixe, 75 cents. SFDZTENT or mnucous in the urine is 0; sure indication of disease. Take lidneyiWort and be cured before it is too late. Use Kidney Wort and rejoice in health. One package makes six quarts of medicine, safer, purer, and more effootual than any bitters or pills. PrATIOr. The Voltaio Belt Co., Warghan, Mie. Will send their celebrated Electro Voltg Delta to the afflicted upon 80 days's tri 8OO y cures guaranteec. They mean what Sy may. Write to theim without delay. VEGETINE Purifies the Blood, Renovates and Invigorates the whole System. ITS MEDICINAL PROPERTIS ARE Alterative, Tonic, Solvent and Diuretic. Vegetine is made exclusively from the juices of carefully-selected barks roots and herbs. and so strongly concentrated that it will effectually eradicate from the system every tnint of Sero. fa In Serofuous Iluanor, Tunors, can. cer. Cancerseqr 114mor, I rysilselns, Halt Rheuins. hyl iliiie 1nu o ae ker, riaatness at the btonnach. and all ulsias tlhat arise trum impure blood. Set. attem, Infiannmatory and Chronic Rbea wallisn, Neuraagta, Glout and Spinal Complains, can only be offecLuaik oured through tae blood. For Ulcersand Eraptive Diseases of the SUi11, P111611i0, ViaplelS, B11otches, Boils, Totter. iealdheat and Risag worm, VEETINE has never failed to effect a permanent cure. For Pains In the Back, Kidney Complaints, Dropsy. Female weakness, Leucorrheea, arising from internal ulceration, and uterine diseases and General Debility, VEGETINE acts directly upon the causes of these complaints. it invigo. rates and strengthens the whole system, acta upon the secretive or;zans. allays inflammation, eures ulceration and regulates tAe bowels. For Catarrh Dyspepsla, Babitual COstIviness, alpitation ol~ the Heart, Headache, Plies, Nery ousness and General Prostration of the Nervous Slystem. no medicine has ever given such per. feet satisfaction as the VE TINE. It pur ee the blood, cleanses all of t>s organs, and pos. sees a contioiling powpO over the nervous systoUL The remarkable cures etcted by Vegetine have induced many physiowuns and apotheoa. rfca whom we know, to VrOolbe and use it La their own families, Iner fao eetine is the West remedy yet dm elable gLOOD PURIFImr yet placed before Vogotline. PREPARED IIY R. R. STEVENS, Bostoat. Mass. Vegetine is Sold by li Druggists, That Acts at the Same Time on ha Liver, The Bowels ad The Kineys Thiscombinedf action ~vvee t toonderful ~p0owe' to ourta I disease,. WhAre We Sick? Becaues toe allowo theee great organs tob~e com e lged rti d, an 4 oleo ue Au thateshould be eapelled naturalty. Bllousness Piles, ConstIpation Kidne Comnplafats and Din sass,W'eak nesses and Nervous bisrders. 8E'"auin r"%i*"0*o{ft"*e%",",ga. Why$ufferil lions painss and aches I Whytormented with, Piles, Constipation i Wy frghtened over disordered Kidneys I Why end dre nervous or sIck headachesi -Why have sleepless nights I Uk. RIDNEY WVORT and rejoice in ealth. sItad?,,ve etable ompounda 0$5 t your Drgs h oilodri WULLS,40OIRDBOeN 10 S(wii seneot pa.) Burlington, Vi. I6lURe Oriat rra'gn n .ro Merico to Ba " nied by music do.iors, or the Chicago Music Co,, Faxu I A Musical Journal. Adt's F. Blrehm:, Erie, Pa $77 7 AShALopnicsand.gt Those answfering an A4lverstaenxent we] senfer arayor u n the Advertiser and the ee n i t h a i sa thead6, avnsoha immeneaeS parts of t e nt and oneto te dseaedogns .md through them power. N useoholl teiwwhich do met w end post ai~ d ltalwile ueI the ageuuag on thS a a ce cue ar hadas becomte Justl col batt r it~t WEAKNESS~ P'NCt Favorite Pr ot Is a powerhal itestorativo bupss, toc y,I w e, to : iet tJrv.o irrl jreser ptiofn w Ioke cures nIs r b fong ahls *e easte fowing pssfe mensram ans a al y a (sena u 01,snie sas o en Favorie treeer4 ion issob, inder a positive gug r d e LlcWa a..pr.l.F Mron of No nL av rit I'eOl,n' an al sig thal tjv u no 10I &ne.lretto a uleromy Ii,ereln amii were mue, er le~ y .La *RIIIViVAID ). 'orce Serve an issnuatecten on Di0411 By invigorating a feeb.e constitution, renovat. Isg a deiilltate pam,and r1ohintatI)IR aid innutVitous 071rou at ond rihno etee Stomach Bitters, the finest the most h[ghly sanctioned, and the mQst poplar toatloaua preventive In existence. IFaeb lDrg gbtaid Dealers generaily. rug. HOP BITTER. (A Medleine, not a DrInk,) CONTUNGs 116PS, BUO1U, MANDRAKE, DANDELION. AND TU PUtEsT AND BRMDIoALQUALI TIRS OF ALL6 OTURB1 BITTRUS. THEWY CUZZE A isrcapesof thoStomac, Bowels, Blood, vousness1 Sleoaessnessand especially Irtaecomplailts. $1000 IN COLD. Will be paid for a case they wilt not cure:or help, or for anytl i mpure ur injurlou aoud a them. Ask your druggist for Hiop Bitters and try them bofore yot sleep. Take no Oghere D.I. C. is an absoluteand Irresistible cure for Drunk~eness, ueof otlun, tobacco and inarooton. MIND FOR CIROUL.AR. Allsbove sold bydr Itgs. RioD tittets 1. C4., ocbester, N.Y.,& Tomto, Out. 0. Ditson & Co. are Sole Agents the United States for the extensive catalogue Novello's MiSICl Pffications Anong thei are more thin a thousand Anthems and Chorue8. Part-gong and Glee Books, Cantatas, Ora torios, Operas, &o., &o. Sond for Catalogue. WVe call special attention to the valuable seri. es of Primors or Easy Inatruotion Books of whi veo popular ones are, TilEX RUDIKENTS, OF MUSIV, T0cents) y 1min i. E I NTOF I ,IANO (.)b Dr. ANG.11APar. THE ORGAN, (80bv r. taier.t; N0,till). by Rtande NerMUMIUAL FORMS, (01), f 8Par IA TMON, (8 ). b r.l Staiuer. INSTRUMEHNA. ToN, by roul,and THE VIOL1N,($1),by Send for Gon. nrileli's Orand March, (40 ctq.) and Hancock' alampai n bMarchi. (40 cis.) Fine Music. and elegant portrafts of the Preelde,itial 0andidateti. Toicliors will not fail to exami^.N duri6g tile suin mert the boks needo'd for- their winter's work. We ntion Tit TEMPLE) r W)n anto TE VOICE O nORSHIP,11) for ling Schools andhoirs and forthe maiter, I11ll R MERIOAN ANTHIER BOOK, (1.25 and LMERSONS ANTHEM 1KRN, 026). ForllfgiiSchiools.,TIlE%KLC,OMEv 0110 WU, 1);81for Comtmon Smho s, SONG BR,L8 Wcoutti). nearly ready, for Sitday Schools. WHIRI. LIGHIT,02couts) All are first-olass books. Don't fill to examine. Oliver Ditson & Co., Bostoa J. E. D1TSON & 00.12280hestnt St., Phila. M'CR OSCO PES, Sp ectacles. alronu -tor, ,asmra c R. & J. BECK, stt vs fo itae (Jtaloge of 14ages, ud TRY THE NEW YORK OBSERVER. Sbe ateidi d. Before o u buy any lleiri Address Dr. Dye, flx 1819, Boston ,Il,,u. SEL,GIN WATCI-ES iM ^o"1I "Ch"*y 's. "d, is an h&ek, . , P i t t s b r g h P a , -o ( a a MAKE HENS LAY and Oattle Pow4(r here ar *orthless traie sasthat iredan' m(endtioann Poders are obs sartb will make hens lay like 8heridan'sCudic Powders. Doss, eo tesoon to on pint ffe stamps. 1.5. JOHN18501 AmC0..Banger,uW. IF YOU WOULD BE PROPER IY corrspon tonutted wit,h spectacles, apply or iDR. N OpAYd1t1 DI N C G4Y PicDia.a SA-PON IFIE R Is the Old Reliable Conentrated Lye for FAM ILY! ASc F'OR sA.PONxI~F,,4 AND TAK# NO OTHER. PUNN*A AT RAPN"G t.,' PHILAUA OPIMMmingg: coNSTIPAflON TO.L.WAND u-LKS ORT.newand wondetal e~whieth is itsnntural*ii*oples. Itr st eng bseeth ste o sounate,on ms aevlume fetnu.o ts eosfhl ouratv malney am rmarkable c u f a ose e on LIAR TO FEMALES. a4 at n, to toe elr e ti a nornef n ig 'ilsas aro toi se i 1li ~~Fvrt Pt.PImt~tlwttacss Jt i cengeai isl rctuircoitet.i O-/k o iawomb. ,~l he lattr 9 e eca p imen toteba n p f ieag ' rantee. For condlitions, see errapper arottut bottle. itt exhauswq th' skIll or tre rlssiltsI tlret c,ross the room alone , eaanIhn rcconlth tnion i I wa onnnse~ iDc,lily nentionting d i iat' latoayoe wrt tno for is~ 14 tt*fl lad mnn to do )likewis, FrnAran9 comitnencedl Ith an o h add4 ' avorittte rosrptions soliN- idig~ a itOsdtseas e ae to en n lil )EIC~AL AMjI4urrZrns n Ares ff