nuI-WEEKLY IDJT ION. - W I1NNSBORO, S. C., APRIL 20, 1880.VLI.-.48
BY THE SEA.
My blue-eyed pet, with goldon hair,
is sitting on my knoo,
And gazes eagerly afar,
Acroes the beach, beyond the bar,
Whero rolls the restless sea.
She Puts her little hand in miner
And laughs with childish gloo,
To see the foaming billows splash,
As on the shore they tlorcely dash,
Thon glide back silently.
But while she laughs so merrily,
My heart is far away ;
And, as 1 look upon the shore,
Where loud and long the breakers roar,
My sad sou .seems to say :
"The sea is like a hun,an life ;
It breaks upon the shoro
Of time with a resistless might,
And, when tijo goal is just in sight,
Dies-to return no more.
."And all along the shore of Time,
Full many a wreck doth lie;
The pangs of many a mad carouse,
Of blasted hopes and broken vows,
Of happy days gone by."
Yet, while I muse in mournful mood,
. And gaze upon the sea,
My blue-eyed pet with golden hair,
Whose heart has never known a care,
Whose voice is musio in the air,
Still sits upon my knoe.
Her head is resting on iny breast
Her eyes in slumber doep ;
Tio same rough sea, whose breakers roar,
And madly, fiercely lash the shore,
Has lulled my child to sleep.
Mrs. Tere-biath's Birthday..
Mrs. Terebiath was sixty years old on the
eighteenth of June.
And Mrs. Terebiath had property to leave,
which probably may"accqunt for' the 4evo-'
tion of a'h rge circle of tlatitts; and their
kind remembrances,. whenever the eight
eenth of June came ardund, as well as for
their cordial hatred of lite'Winiifred Leslie,
whom the old lady had adopj6d out of, ani
orphan asylum, and was "bringing up"
after an erratic system, which comprised a
great deal of scolding, hem-stitching, and
stocking darning, and very little indul
gence.
But there are occasions in which even
one as hapless and insignificant as Winifred
Leslie was iade useful, and this was one of
them.
"Winny," said Captain Leofric Terobi
ath, the old lady's nephew, you are a poor
girl."
"1Yes, Mr. Leofric," said Whiny, meekly.
"Have you heard my aunt mention any
particular articlo-aheni I-or gift, you
know that she would fancy on her birtday,
he ?" -
"No, Mr. Leofric," said Winny, demure
ly ; but she was telling old Doctor Duffer
what a beautiful picture she saw last week
at the Genutlex Gallery. She said if it
idn't been for the price, she would have
been tempted to buy it for her boudoir."
"The Genutlex Gallery, eh ?" said the
captain, pulling his long mustache. "You
don't happen to remember the subject--oh,
Winny?"
"Yes, sir," said Winny. "t'was 'On the
Juniata.' At. least that was what she said."
"All right," said the captain. "I'll give,
yn a quarter, W inny, the next time I have
any change.".
"Thianik you, Mr. Leofrlc," said Winny.
Winny had scai-cely finished dusting her
parlor, when in rustled Mrs. Forrester, Mrs.
Trerebiath's cousin, once removed.
'"My cousin Phonbe isn't in, Wipifred ?"
"No, ma'am," said -Winny.
"Oh," remarked Mrs. Forrester, with a
git-stoppered smelling-bottle,*at her nose.
"Winifred, I'm going to make a confidant
of you.
"Are you, mia'am," said Winny.
Mrs. Forrester nodded.
"I wanato make my cdtisln Phoe an
acceptable birthday gift, Winifred," said
she. "Now, can' you mention anything for
* which she has lately expressed a wish?
Thuis is quit e confIdentIal - between our
selves, you kno r."
" ~Oh, yes, ma'am," said Winny, with wie
open llup ey s. ,"Thpre was a painting
that alie &dX ifed'ai th J'enullex Gallery."
"Not a word more14" said Mrs. Forrester,
liftIng .he~ prhirose-7kidged fi ige . Na w,
what as he n4ne?",.
"ltwa a so no on'nthb Junta al Rtr,
ma'amn. I heard her say-"
"Yes," said Mrs. Foirester. "Exactly.
Thlat is all, my good girl. I've a east-off
alpaca dressaat home, thiat I'll tr'y and re
member to give you some time."
And Mrs. Forrestor rustled out of the
room, leaving behind lier a strong odor of
patchouli, While Winny's blue eyes laughed
in unison wIth the sly dlimpl~i arouind'thd
corners of her little rosebud off mog~th,
Away posted CaptaIn Leofric, on the
wings of -the street gqars, to thogenteyC
Galley.'' There was the usual proportion
there of lo9ypging gloIure-seekers,.'news-'
paper crli(ha, saaing amateurs, r retty' girls
an(i stout gentlemen; but through them all
Captain Tiereblath made li way to the
*spot where, on the crints'.n-draped wall,
huing the picture chronicled in the' cata
logute as "On the Juhllata." .m I
Ihorror of horrors! iln the corner blinked
a lhttle green tibket,,.Ob witifc (vas sbribed
the fogr fatal letters-"old I"
wipizrithefesadiof perpihltonAf1n, lif '
fo)reheSdkwith. a dtunbric pocket hndker
1heolo tht ,ain l
-anothbid 1 phuncnAsr
gentleman was eating his modest lunch of
bread and cheese and old ale, at an antlg4o.
table, which also contained a skull, two
manikius and a plaster cast of Apollo, mi
nus one arm.
"i've taking a fancy to your painting of
'On the Juniata,'" said the captai-"at
the GemlileX, you know."
'6iuch olilged I'm sure," said Mr. Tinto,
wiipig the froth of the ale from his fiery
red, mustache; but,I sold it yesterday."
'clt's quite a sottled thing, then?" said
Captain Terebiath, with his lower jaw fall
ing.
"Oh, ycs--quite,'ng,(dcd tlietist. But
if yo' card parliculionlabout It, 1 could
make you a copy." -
"The very thing!"said Captain Terebiath,
smiting the table so vehemently, in his sat
isfaction, that the skull, intended as the
study for a picture to be called "Alas, poor
Yoriek !" rolled off upon the floor. "llow
soon can you get It ready ?"
Mr. Tlutd hesitated.
''Would a month-" lie comienced.
"A. month, man l Why don't you say a
century at once. I must have it in a fort
night, at the farthest !" shuted Captain
Terebiath.
"It will be a tight fit," said Mr. Tinto,
reflectively ; "but if it is absolutely neces,
NAr",. _r
"It iA a matter of life and death !" reek
lessly asserted the captain. "And what will
you charge. Come now, you can'c expect a
copy to be worth the full price of that origi
nal," he added, insinuatingly.
"Couldn't do It short of a hundred and
fifty," said Mr. Tinto; and to this statement
lie resolutely adhered, in spite of all remon
strances.
The captatin took counsel with hinself.
A hundred and fifty dollars in ready money
represented a great deal of cash ; but then
Aunt Terebiath represented a great,de.al
more. Yes, upon the whole, it was wgrth
while to risk it, and so he ordered the pic
ture.
Scarcely had the captttin's joot steps died
awAy ohthe stahciie wieu tlicy were suc
ceeded by a great fluttering of silken
flounces, and Mrs. Forrester sailed gracious
ly into the little studio.
"Have I the pleasure of addressing Mr.
-ahem 1-Dlr. Roland Tinto ?" she asked,
putting a ponderous gold eyeglass to her
viuasl optics.
"Mly name is 'l'into, ma'am," confessed
the astonished artist, beginning to wonder
If, like Sir Walter Scott, he was destined to
"wake up ant find himself famous."
- "I wish to purchase your charming view
in the Genuflex Gallery," said the lady.
'On the Juniata,' I believe you call it."
"Madam," sail Mir,, Tinto, with a low
bow. "I regr4t to lnform you that it is
already sold."
"Sold'?" echoed Mrs. Forrester.
"Sold," nodded the artist, wishing in his
secret heart that he had sketched a dozen
views on the Juniata instead of only one,
and marveling whence sprung all this popu
larity.
"Mi's. Forrester clasped her hands theatri
cally.
"What a pity !" she cried ; and I had so
set my heart upon it."
"Wouldn't acopy"-Mr. Tinto suggested.
"A copy !" Mrs. Forrester wondered that
-she had not thought of it before. "Oh, yes,
a copy, by all means I But I 'wam'\ted It
finished by the eighteenth of June, without
fall."
No sooner had she withdrawn hecr silken
and satiriy presence from the studio, than
Roland Tinto rushed out and engmged tile
services of a pair of needy brother-artists,
to hlpji him out with his double order."
''Art is looking up," quoth lie, "and ge
nius is finding its true level at last."
So that when the eighteenth of Julne
dawned upon ihe'summer world, twvo pro
digious, spcigbe were trundiled up
Mf'. Tdebati'sfro'kSteps. A
"John ,I' crIed the old lady to' her foot
man, ."open tfiose Igpxes i the hall, and,
tell me what they are."
And John was yet unscrewing se.rews and(
drawintraout nails, wvhen Mlrs. Forrester andl
Captain Leofric appeared on the scene of
action; but the words of congratulation
were yet upon their lips, when tly sight of
"A View on the Juniata," hanging In agay
g d frgn o -the wall, ''oze the glib sen
"Yes, my IIe~ars,'~ al the old lady, *"a
birthday gift from my old. friend Doctor
Duter-"
."Please, ma'am," spid John, staggering
.11 undel' the weight f. sCaptain Leofrle's
present, "'ere's another 'View on the Ju..
niaty,' wieres.ovgvelihat m9y.ghe, wvith Cap
tain Terebiath's comipliments."
DPear met" j1dthqpl.d lady. "P'ni sure
I'm much obliged, but I've got one already.
Claribel Forrester," turning sharply toward
her cousin, wvho was evincing strong symplI
torns of#~ysterIes, "what Is the mnatterivwhh
you?"
In thme meantime, John, who had momnen
tarily disappeared, camne groaning In once
more.
"Please, ma'amn," said he, "'there's an
othIer."
"Another what?f" shrieked Mrs. Tete
"Another 'View on the Juniaty,' mrn'am,
with Mrs. Forrester's love, and maniy 'app)y
returns.".
v Andm difliflii thm%tBIp'Itird
i&li#ne!j l"kitlVMV. TA''hhhth1 "what
fools you all are! Do you suppose I'm go-,
flgflagig>eture gallery?9"
*WhIle Wliihy stood ,dem1urely smilhng be,
hind Mrs. TorombIath's chair. ''
h - - " d:li old lady, 4' ou
n rio 9to tea,g-nigh it t
" 'Charmed, I'm sure," said the captain.
"And.I'll introduce you to Deacon Pen
field," added Mrs. Tereblath. "I'm going N,
to be married to him next week, and he has of
two daughters out in Pennsylvania, and, if ne
you don't object I'll send two of those great ti(
awkward pictures out to them and keep the
one that dear Doctor Duffer gave me-the c
one out of the Genufiex Gallery." 81
So Captain Tereblath and Mrs. Forrester El
were checkmated, and Doctor Duffer's ar- all
tistic investment was in vain. And no one In
was pleased but Roland Tinto, and his im
pecunious brother-artists. fi
cc
th
A 'lii inost'
A few rods back from tli water's edge at
San Francisco, surrounded by a tangle of
weeds, stands a curious edifice, about. seven El
by nine feet and two feet high, constructed
chiefly of strips of rusty tin torn from large ao
coal-oil cans, with here and there a bit of
board. The entrance to this abode is an
aperture abou.t eighteen inches wide, run
ning across one end, and peeping in, we see
a few pieces of old straw matting and car
pet. This is the last surviving relic of a
number of snnilar edifices that dec
orated the spot last Winter, and shel
tered from twenty to thirty men during the
an
whole rainy season, whose mode of living fr(
attracted much notice at the time. An im- tr
pression seemts to prevail that these men th
;.haid adopted their singular life from choice,
preferring to eke a scanty living from the n
refuse of the dump piles to' applying them- to
selves to any active work. Recently a re- tie
porter visited the solitary structure among ha
the dumps for the purpose of interviewing bo
its occupant. He found a slender-looking ey
n,uu, upwards of fifty years old, shabbily de
dressed, with full grayish-brown beard, a
clear blue eyes and intelligent face, who
expressed himself in excellent language. W(
It is said that he was a. Captain during the
Mexican war, and he reluctantly acknowl- to
edged it to be true, seeming very averse to th
giving his name or any information by rt
which his friends or family niight learn his
where'hbdiltrnd iefuh'is'ances.' IIe gave a
this history as follows:
"I came to California from Boston in
'49, attracied by the discovery of gold. 1Ik
never learned any trade, for up to the time of
I came out here it had never been necessary i
for me to work. I went up in the moun
tains to Sonora, and staid there most of the 80
time for twenty-four years. In the early
dhys I did very well, never making a 'tei- t)o
strike,' but very fair wages. Then times t
grew duller and 1 thought I would come
.down to the city, for it seemed as if any fri
one ought to be able to make a living li
where there is so much to do all the time.
I got a few odd jobs of work at first, but no til
steady job. My clothes kept getting an
worse and worse, until finally I was
ashamed to show myself to the few old
friends I had here. The times' kept grow
ing duller; work more scarce, and a little
over a year ago I had no money, ho friends
and was forced to come here, where I have ni
been pretty-much ever since. Sometimes ai
I get a little job of work-sawing wood or 11
something of the kind, and do a little bet- it
ter for a time. San Francisco is a hard he
place to get work. There is a good deal re
doing, but too many to do it. And then ce
the Chinese are everywhere and crowd da
the white men out. sl
" What was the general character of the .a I
men who have been living on the dumps he
the last eight months ?" Sc
"There were men of all trades, farm la- pt
borer', machinists, carpenters. Among be
them there were, several who were evident- a
ly first-class mechanics, who had been em- m
ployed in some of the first-workshops East. pe
'hey had come here strangers, were unable sl
to get work, got out of money and -had no se
other place to go. Some of the men had ge
famiiies back East, but when men come to vt
that pass they don't like to talk about their lii
lives. All were hiopinig for bet'ter times by T
and by. cia
" Where have these men gone .ow ?" thm
"'Tho most of them have gone to the gt
country and some of them have got work. h<
Others have failed on account of the large a
number of Chinese eilolyed on farms. 1 ta
should have gone to the country myself but re
I couldn't stand the work on a farm. I am to
getting too old1 and broken for that." or
" I suppose a good many men are brought F;
downu to this on account of dIrink." ar'
" Not so many as people think. Out of ed
the twventy or thirty men who were heroesti
last Winter iiot more than two or three cil
were brought down by drink. Another -of
thing-weo have beeni spoken of as hood- thm
mn. On the contrary, the hoodlums are th
are our greatest enemies. They delight in
making raids on us and tearing down our
houses. The hoodlums, like all outlaws,
have plenty of ways of getting money, andh
dlon't, need to come here. Sometimes when bm
they have been committing depredations b4
they come (down ano sleep m the weeds." bi
" What- kind of a time (10 you expect se
next Winter ?" ia
"HJ-ard1 to tell, sir. If times don't im- at
prove I don't see swhamt poor muen will do. dl
Th'iere are'thousands of men in this city to- ci
day living in a 'way that would surprise am
people If they know It. In the Winter a di
lot nmore crowd into tIhe city from the coun- 1
Liry, to. say. nothing of these all the while fl
arriving from. the East. These are hard k:
times, sir, and noe mistake." i
-"Time Nixt Case."
Ho*t juuce Wa dis'pensed in Toledo, a;
quarter of a century ago, by the celebrated
Charles O'Malley, JusticeoftePaenc
the tiorthi side. ,oftnPecoi
The fIr-st ease which came before ils
Honror was' O'Donnell and others for dis
turbance a,t a dance house on KinzIe street.
Time.testimony .was gpne thmroumgI with ap.
parenitly correctly, amnd tihe decision (of the
Cooi't) was a fine amid costs.
SO'Malley rose to is difguity, andl turning oh
to' O'Donmell (and the. Other offender's), iT
gaid to the .lirst one next lim:nti
"Tiny hafo yoles uiy inbuey?"
Tim says, "Nah." .s
Trerence says, Iah.
o'i~trih th WIId-hoknj you a
.~,Ms Pty*t.,~X yIjur Hono" to
W$1 thin Jho
A Missing Man's Fate.
Some time ago, th pple of Elleusville,
3w York, were excittd by the discovery
a human skeleton in an old lead mine
ar the village. For a long time the ques- i
in of its identity remained unsolved, but
ally, on slight circumstantial evidence, it
is decided by a coroner's jury to be the
mains of a young man named David
ilth, who mysterioasly disappeared from
lenville in 1866. Smith was last seen
ve in February of that year. Ho had been
charge of the telegraph office in that vil- :
re, and was very popular with the people.
s mother, a widow, lived in the town of
tankaken. Ie was an only child. Many
njectures were current as to his sudden
d strange disappe rance, but gradually
a circumstances ,as forgotten, though
ien the matter w( discussed there were
w who entertained -ny opinion other than
it Smith had been: murdered. While at
lenville, Smith formed an attachment for
rowd of fast young men, and as the
)liths went by he became a hard drinker,
ending the most of his time in the village t
r-room when off duty. In February,
60, a ball was given by one of the fi:
mipanies, and Smith was present, the
rse for liquor. He was about drunk
ough to act like a simpleton, and talked
:essantly, finally getting into a quarrel
th a disreputable man who was present,
d who, when kept by Smith's friends
um blows, angrily said: "hIe'll find out
it this ain't the end of this muss." After
st night Smith was not seen again. His
>ther expended much time and money in
) vain search for him, and when the skele
i was found in the mine, she hastened
,re, and was firmly convinced that she 3
I at last unraveled the mystery of her
y's disappearance. The jury out of pure
upathy, it is thought, for Alrs. Suith, so
:ded, having no stronger evidence than
ialf-decayed pair of gaiters which it was 1
)ved were similar in style to those always
r.n by Smith. But thete still remained 3
ich doubt in the minds of the people as 3
whether or not the skeleton was really j
it of Smith, but this doubt is now all
noved. Mr. McCracken, one of the pro
etors of the mine where the bones were
covered, found, recently, the diary of
ith's buried in the mud at the bottom of
shaft. It was partially destroyed, but
!re is no doubt that it was the property
Smith, entries appearing in it relative to
life in Ellenvil'e up to within a few
eks before his sudden dsip] e traice.
veral of his letters were found in the
)k. His mother has been given the diary, a
nigh she needed no proof to strengthen
r opinion that the skeleton was really that t
her son. It is remembered by Smith's ,
mds that the man who quarreled with
u, and who made coiZain threats, aIter
rd left the place, was engaged for a short
ie on the Delaware and Hludson canal,
I afterward went to Now York.
a
W1iay She Missed tihe Boat.'l
BhWe was to meet her adored one ol the
to o'clock Oakland boat, San Francisco, J
d it'wanted fifteen Minutes of the hour. (
ir hand was on the door to go out, when I1
itruck her that ie had forgotten to line i
r left eyebrow. Rushing to the glass to J
ttify this, she discovered a small red spot, 1
anmemorative of a departed pimple. A E
b of lily-white settled that defect, and
. was about to make afresh start, when
>ackward glance assured her that her new C
t was not as becoming as it should be. i
she stopped just long enough to give it a t,
nch over one ear and a "hyke" in the e
ek. Then her "Recamier locks" wanted
ittle arranging, and an inch of blonde f
ist be pinned across her nose. Then she 1
rted her lips to see if her filled tooth
swed very plainly, and that gtarted a most 3
luctive dimple m'pane cheek which sug- r
ited 'a scrap of black court-plaster on its d
ry verge to call attention to its dangers,
:e a signboard on a thinly-frozen pond. t<
men she tipped the glass and stuck ini the I
rling tongs to hold it, and walked across I
room with her head over hier,shouder to
Sa back view, gave her drapery a twitch
re and a pat there, tried to see how long
itep she could take without bursting the
yes, gave herself a little shake like a spar.- r
wv after a shower, changed her four-but- .3
a gloves for six, sprinkled Lubin's latest I
her handkerchief, stamped her little i
ench heels once or twice to settle herself, 1:
d, seizing hier parasol In the most approv- i
style to show the lace to advantage,
rted for the ferry, where a smiling o111- t
xl, either In a lit of admiration or sarcasm,. I:
ed her his glass with which to watch m
s fast receding boat, already half across t
obay- t
What He Know of English. c
I heard a funny story of a little Boston i
>y the other day, which I think has never a
en in print. ils father lhad amused i
mself in teaching the bright little follow a
veral.words and phrases in a number- of g
nguages, so that ho had quite a reputation a
a linguist. An Englishman of some note
ned with the family one day, and the 1,
lId was much Interested In watching hhn i
dO listening to his conversation. After
uner the guest took him on lia knee with f
.0 remark : '-1 hear you know a great i
any languauges tell mne hew many you y
iow." " Oh, I knowv French,and Ger- t
an and Italian and Spaushi, and that Is m
I." " Bnt you know English ?" "No, 1 i
>n't know English," lie answered with a
)ry positive shake of the head. "yes,
>u do, certainly," peorslsted the E~nglish- j
an. " I tell you I do itotl' replied the
tid almost lipatlent-y, very emphatical
" My papa knowS Enilish,-'I s'pose,
it l'only know t wo words in Enghsh I"
And wvhat are they ?" "'Ouso an'i'oral"
Sheo Know It.
X., tiravelIng 'thrdgh Brittainy, asks an
d woman who was peddling crosses and
etlials at a church porch 'the price of a cr
Ia trinket.
91fg It for your wifo or yomr sweet heart?"
to asks.
"For my sweetheart," replies X., not
reelsely seeingthe drift of lier questIoh.
"Ten franca."
"Ten,ries-.phew I" says X., turn*g I
'Come back, come biack," cries tho old
omngtako ita for. t,11oe. .Xo#'9'o beoen
'Ing to me, 9thiough, you have no *weet. 4
r u. If It had beedl for hot .fou'd pave
It atM ne 4)l Wi)out' ~gard' flie I
Carlo, Uood Dog.
I left the cemetery and went down into
ho woods. 1 could hear the noise of
sbor, and through the trees I saw the axes
leaming In the sunlight. The mosses
>eeped brightly through the leaves under
ny feet, and when I kicked the bark off of
stump, a great brown spider rushed out
o see who knocked. I sat down and
vatched the wood-choppers, and talked to
hem as they wrought. There were only
hree idle creatures in the woods. I was
ho biggest, the oldest, and the idlest of the
hree. A chub of a boy, about six or
even years old, was the next, and a black
nd tan dog that had treed a squirrel, was
he next. 1 was so pleased with the boy's
die companionship that I paid him for it,
nd advised him to stick to it, and never
vork until he had to, and then, feeling the
onnunity of sentiment for the dog, I went
nd helped him bark at the squirrel. The
ree vas about two hundred feet high.
['he dog would probably stand about
hirteen inches from the ground. lie tried to
limb that tree. Ile barked as though his
hroat was all the rams' horns of Jericho.
1o was after that squirrel which was just
s far-out of his reach as the clouds. And
he squirrel wasn't paying any attention to
he dog, and, indeed, didn't know what he
vas barking at. I am not positive that it
ad not gone off into another tree an hour
go, and was away off in another part of
lie woods, down near the county line.
lo 1 patted the dog's head as I came away,
nd said to him : '' Carlo, keep it up. It
oems to do you a heap of good, and it
oesn't bother the squirrel a particle. So
eep it up. You never can climb the tree;
ou will never catch the squirrel ; when he
rants to come down he will come down
nother way, and you will not see htini.
io will live just as long and be just as
appy with'our noise as without It. It oc -
upies your mind and It doesn't distract
is. And it shows a verb' human trait in
on, Carlo. I have known men just like
on; men who spent their lives in doing
ast you are doing-barking at people who
re out of their reach. Keep it up, Carlo,
ood dog."
The Now Gane.
The dead-beat permits nothing to get
head of himt except. a tuneral procession.
ecently a seedy-genteel, who seemed to be
reatly excited, rushed into a place on
Voodward avenue, Detroit, and wildly in
uired if they had a telephone there. Being
nswered in the aflirmative, he rushed to
,ie instrument, threw his lint on the floor
nd called out :
"Hello 1 Central ofilce-for IIeaven's sake
ello I hello ! hello ''
"Is there a fire '' asked the merchant.
"Fire! keep still-wait--oh! Heavens!
rhy ton't t! ey anstt or me! Hello I Central
Ilic I Ah I I have then ! Connect ime
rith aub-otlice on Dufileld street-quick
fo depends!"
"Somebody dying ?" asked the merchant.
"Keep still-for your life, keep still I
Lit sub.of1be I Connect me with No. --
ass avenue as soon as you can I hello I
ello I Mary I Ali I it is her I Mary, your
tother has been run oveoo by a street car on
efferson avenue and will die I I'll bring
er up In a carriage! Get everything ready!
end James for the doctor -good-bye I"
"Somebody hurt?" asked the merchant.
"Somebody hurt ? No I Yes! I'm half
razy ! I must .get a carriage. Ah I left
iy wallet at the office down the river I I'll
)I1 Mary-no, I'll ask you for $2 until I
ome down after dinner!"
The merchlant looked at the fellow for a
3w seconds and then walked to the tole
hone. The sub-ofillce was saying:
"Who was getting off that rigmarole to
[ary, and who was Mary ? We don't con
ect with No. - Cass avenue I If you
on't stop your nonsense we'll cut you off !"
The merchant turned to overhaul his cns
mer, but shabby-genteel had slid. Per
ape he took his poor mother up en a wheel
arrow.
Music and Aninl.
A remarkable ihitanco of a toad's enjoy
lent of music camne under my notice some
ears since. I was on a visit with my huts
andl and one of my daughters to my father,
,ho lived In the south of England. lie
ad a very pretty garden and lawn; and It
ins his delight Ia the evening to sit at his
rawlug-room window while I played on
ie Ilano and sang to hum. One evening
e said to me; "My dear, lhere is a toadi
nder the window. It lias been hero a hong
me without moving. I believe iit Ia lis
mning to your sInging."
When I ceased playing the toad slowly
rept away, but every evening when 1 sang,
Le creature camne, took Its place under te
inmdow and there remained. Oiio evening,
t my father's request, I suddenly stopped
to music, andi in a -few iinutes it went,
way. We wantched It uiitil It reached the
athi, whoa co.mneing apothmer song, it
topped, listened and then slowly returned
> Its place under the window. When I
ift andl went home, there was no more
usIc. Thue toad was never agaIn seeni.
Somo years p>revious to my mnarrhlago my
uthier lived In an old hall In the neighbor
ood of one of our large towns. Thme
m ounds were extensive. 1 was his delight
havo a sort of model farm, which gave
1o many opportunities of studying the dif
iemnt characters of the various animals
pen It. Th'Ien I saw -the influience of music
.pon many of them.. Th'Iere was a beauti
uli horse the pride and delight of us all;
nd like many others lie hind an unconquer
ble dislike to be caught. Miy father had
o traiedot him te obedienco that lie gave
'cry little trouble; a whistle and a wave
f the hand, and Itobert, woul come quietly
o be saddled, Butt If l.ft to our old gard
er' Willy, ho wvould lead hhnii a chase, gen
rally ending In defeat. One very hot
uluer day I was sItting at work in the
ar-den, whten Willy appeared streamiing
vith perspiration.
"What is the ir atter, Willy 9"
'"Mat,ter enough, Miss. There's that
tobert, tihe uncanny benst; he won't be
aught all I can do or' say. i've give hin
orni, and one of the best pears off the tree;
mthe's too deob for mb-ho' snatched the
eoar, kicked up hiA heels, and -off lie is,
aughing at me at thme bottom of the
neadow."
.I was very sorroy for the old ian, but I
lid not clearly see how to catch the ling
ment. I could .well believ~ ,o wams1 Ii'h
ri M'urpld f,icnd, for b6: a enouWi
I,Milly, da 6
he will come up to the fence and hearken
to you, for lhe Is always a-doing that, and
maybe I can slip up behind and catch
him."
I went at once, not expecting my strata
gem to succeed. But in a few minutes the
saucy creature was standing listening while
I play-d "Scots wha ha e wi' Wallace
bled." The halter was soon round his
neck; and he went away to be harnessed
quite happy and contented.
There was i great peculiarity about his
taste for music. He n(ivor would stay to
listen to a plaintive song. I soon observed
this. If I played "Scots wha ha'e," he
would listen well pleased. If I changed
the measure and expression, playing the
same air plaintively, as for instance in the
"Land o' the Leal," he would toss his head
and walk away, as if to say: "That is not
my sort of music." Changing to some
thing mar;ial, he would return, and listen
to mile.
In this respect he entirely lif'crel from
a beautiful cow we had. She had an awful
temper. Old Willy used to say: "She is
the nmost contrariest beast under the sun."
If she was in one of her ill-humors, it was
with the greatest difficulty she could be
milked. Sine never would go with the
other cows at milking time. Nancy be
milked with thenm I-that was a thing not
to be thought of. She liked tile cook ; and
when not too busy, cook would mlanage
Miss Nancy. But if she were not very
careful, up would go Nancy':; foot and over
would go the milk can and its precious con
tents. Wheni the cook milked her, it was
always close to the fence, near the drawing
room. If I were playing, she would stand
perfectly still, yielding her milk without
any trouble, and would remain so until L
ceased. As long as I played llaintivii
nusic--"The Land o' the heal," '"lIome,
Sweet Iomie," "'Robin Adair," any sweet,
tender air-she seemed entranced. I have
tried her and changed to martial music,
whereupon she invariably walked away.
I could give many instances of a love for
music in annuals. 1 4ill give another. I
was sitting in the drawing room one even
ing, singing to mnamm111a. It was at double
room with folding doors. She was in one
where there was a lmnp, in ily roomn,
which was unlighted, tihe window was open,
and close to the window was a stand of
music. W1'hien I ceased playing I heard a
peculiar sound, and was conscious there
wits soiething in the room. I called for a
light. There, sitting on the stand, wias a
large white owl. lie looked far less sur
prised than we did. In a minute or two he
stepped quietly out of tIhe window, and flow
away. After this we did not leave the
lower sash of the window open; but the
owl still caiie, and sat upon the stone out
side, listening.
11aurl,iugers orSpring.
The nap on seven-dollar utsters is worn
off, and there is a neat fringe border on the
bottom of trousers' legs.
Boils hegin to look for a comfortable
place on a man's system to locate, and suc
ceed in finding it, in spite of all efforts to
sit (lown on them).
Liver pills and bitters are in active do
mand, and "bad b o ,d" 'a purif'e 1. Then
follows peace in the land.
Ho.nely girls who have ira I a success
ful season, buy' up their weddhig clothes
and get married before summer. Fil tati 1ns
begin. We always noticed that homely
girls marry in the spring and pretty ones
in the fall.
The small boy grows superlatively saucy
and refuses to take his sulphur and mno
lasses unless he is rewarded by a nickel;
this merely shows his financial acumen.
liens that have been loafing about all
winter "on their oars," when eggs were
forty cents a dozen, show a disposition to
glut the market at fifteen cents.
Tihe housewife decides that two new car
pets are neLded, and because she can't get
thlem, pounds tile old ones to pieces out in
thle back yard.
Lettuce is in market, but on the top shlelf,
where poor folks cat't reach it.
Potatoes show a dIsposition to be frisky,
andl young sp)rouIts are continually coming
out.
Fellows with shlabby overcoats leave thlem
at hlome and bravely-shiver down the street
in the chilly wind.
Farmers bring in wrinkled and withered
turnips aind palm them off for just dug,
whlen you know they must have been
picked from the trees before frost caime.
'rie oldest inhabitant begins Ils series of
lies about planting peas in January and
p)icking roses in March.
Grocers wvork off thleir suirplis "brown
Hlavana" as maple sugar, pure and unde
fied. ThIis 'is not onIly a harbinger of
spring, but an evidence of total depravity
and a disposition to "sWeetenl" the ptub
lie.
"Great clearing out sales" spring u'p on
every side, and youl can buy anything you
doin't want at ridiculously low p)rices.
The advance guard of the hIouse fly
legion flutters Ils wings in tile butter, and
(lies of chilhblains.
Stockllhders in gas companies smile
broadly as thley note the receipts of thle
"heavy quarter," and there is great pover..
ty and gnashing of teeth among' gas eon
s|pners.
.The IJifterenco.
Tlimo steak was col, the vegetable partly
burned, tIle desert tiat and inslpiti, and Mrs.
Hickenlooper was mad all through, as thle
dinner hour passed by and her hulsband
caime not. Presently the door-knob tulrnedi,
and Mr. Hlickenlooper stanmpedi into tIle
hlall.
"I should think you mnighit be a little
more prompt to your meals,'' snupped his
wife as she glowered on him from the
kitchen door. "Heare I've slaved andi
siayved myself all the forenioon and now the
diiner is all spoiled, just by your hazinless.
If I coldnt
Mr. Ilickenlooper hbld up his hland wvarn
ingly, and his wvife stopped.
"You put me In mind of something," he
remarked.
"Thial's what I was trying to do," she
retorted somewhat sarcastically. "What
was. itf'
"Yoh remind gio of tho reee,scape of
tile Czar 'o.f Russia," he explained as he
hung up his coat. 'Hie was late to dner
too, you rem'elabor,"
"Mibre's tu seh etohlm" "laI Mr,
Hiekeni hM
A Chinanan's Queue.
Jim Grant, notwithstanding his Saxon
name, is a full-fleclged celestial, minus a
pigtail. How he lost the appendage forms
quite a story. Jim Is in the laundry busi.
ness in Williamsburg, and among his pat
rons is the Widow Bridget McCracken.
An arrangement existed between the wi
dow and the Chinamen, by the terms of
which she was to do his cooking and tidy.
ing up around the kitchen and he was to
wash and iron her clothing. How they
kept their agreement was best told by them
selves in Justice Kenna's Court, Williams
burg, where the widow was arraigned on a
charge of assault, made by the celestial.
"After the first week." said the China
man, in pigeon English, so often attemp
ted to be described "Mrs. Murphce
gave imec wholee lots of clothes to 'washee'
and 'ironec,' more clothes than her own
and her familee's'. She brought clothee
from her 'sistee, cousin anO auntee.'
[ Laughterj I say to her noce faireo bargain,
111(1 she tells me yes, she suee ie is I
don't wantee law, and I said to meself, "I
flxee you.' I give her things to co")kee and
she don't cookee him."
'Yes, you dirty baste." interrupted Mrs.
Murphy, "yez give ie six mice. Yez
ught to be (iriven to where yez comhe
fron." [fLaughter, which was instantly
3mpprcssed J.
The Court Inlstructed Mrs. Murphy to
keep (quiet while Jinm was telling lils story.
"'She letee the niece micee burnee," re
sunmed Jim, "and I says to her, "Noce
bargin, Mrs. Mlurphce, you bpruce my dia
nier.' She say she would likee to burnee
mee in stovee with the micee. I tellee her
noce bargin, and she keepeo sistee, cm
since, and auntee clothes, and I doe my
tookee. She then runee at nice with big
knifee and cuttee off my hairec. .Lookeo.
Judge." (Jim called attention to lia scalp,'
which lacked the tail). "She then throwee
ice on street anti breakee things. She
lawful womi'm, Judgee, and says she kill
ilee."
"Mirs. Murphy, what have you to say in
inswer to what Jim says about you?"
"I gave him no clothes to wash, Judge,
but ily own famly's."
''Your family must be pretty large, ac
2(Xrding to the Chinaman's statement?"
"iNu, Ju'dge, that's not the trouble; but
when the nisty beast found that I wasn't
61he kind of a woman lie took ne for, he
wanted to break his bargain, and gave me
nice to clane and roast. I threw thom in
his fave, and said, to clane them himself. lie
Lid so, and I put them in the oven. They
unk the place while they was in the oven,
Amt I got thren and threw them out, and I
un only sorry that I didn't throw the nasty
baste himself after them."
"Hut how about assaulting him and cut
Ing off his pigtad ?" queried the court.
''I'm coming to that," replied the widow.
"After I threw out the mice he picked them
up and brought them in, and began to eat
theth. That was more than I could stand;
so I asked for my clothes and said I wanted
no more of the bargain. le said he would
not give ne the clothes until I paid for
them with kisses if not money. [Laughter]
Hie then put his arnis around me and tried
to kiss me."
"Moce, noce. I only trice to keepee her
fromee me clothes, and put nice arinee
aboutee her."
"Oh, yez are cunning and sly enon%h,
you lying Chinaman, ' exclaimed Mrs.
MIurphy, indignantly."
"Tell us about. the assault, Mrs. Mur
phy," commanded the court.
"When lie tried to kiss me I got my
blood up. He caught me by the hair, and
[ got his pigtail in me hand and cut it off
sad throw it in the street. I only did it in
self-defense."
Roars of laughter followed Mrs. Murphy's
last remark.
He certainly could not have struck you
with the pigtail," said the court.
"No, but thie.basto had no uso for it."
"1)ld lie succeed in kcissing you ?''
"No, Judge.
"Mrs. Murphy, you must give bail In the
sumn of one hundred d>llars to keep the
peace for six months," said the court.
Grape Culture.
The (lay seems to be rapidly approaching
when the far-famed vineyards of Southern
IEurope will be rivaled if not excelled in ex
Lent and production by those of tI4e United
States. 'This branch of -agrlcult4re slates
far back in the present centui'y, although it
has had to contend against the invisiblo
prejudice connected with the temperance
movement. RIeniote as CalIfornia is, the
fame of her vineyards and 'of her native
wines has become well known, even in
Europe; but most of the northern states of
the Republic have now gone largely into
grape culture, and the enterprise,. the in
genuity, the intelligence and Industry of the
New England people have attained conaid
erable success in the improvement in~ the
native variet,ies of the grape, and its propa
gation far and wide over the Middle and
Western States. Penheylyania, in her
quiet way, lins nmade deolded progr'ess in,
grape cult.ure, although scart-ely anybody'
would suspect the fact. In Western New
York the extensive vineyards constitute the
most striking features of the' landscape, .
while the Philadelphia markets are largely
supplie~ with.fresh grapes from the vmne
yardis 6! South Jersey.
Deninition of the Inram.
Tlhe human brain, ne.r iing to Profo sar '
Tyndall a defluition,'is the orgaized regtse
ter of -infinitely numerous experiences re
ceived during the evolution oc life ot
rather during the evolution of,that serlegd6 .
organism through' which the itmin o-'S
ganisums has been reached; the offrecti !
the most unitorms and frequent of tie6'
periences have been sti4osSltolf ki41tit4
edl, principal athd interest, an(i.hrwoe
nounated to thmtt high intelligoc1"w 1o6
lies latent ih,theo brain oftheI ITtt
moi4 6f bAin th tW-fm ?'tI
hiapna that fut~i'~