The ledger. [volume] (Gaffney City, S.C.) 1896-1907, September 23, 1897, Image 3
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THE LEDGER: GAFFNEY, S. C., SEPTEMBER JL3, 1897.
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THE KISS IN COURT.
A lav. ror nirt a jiri'tty jnisa
lin was xvr.Uini;' out ono ilny
itiil slulti In
yiuch was
uot just tliu i>io;)cr way.
At i.noo a aas« rf tort was lirouulit
Winch k'^al rules cnultl not finny.
The lawyer lid 1 no Ji -i i 'c ought
So frail a suit r.s that to try.
Tl’.i' action, when it rot in court.
Met with a jury lenient.
An l many a nuiH"! and retort
Day after day on it was spent.
The lawyer f lainicd 1:0 maiden should
Po much rare lovi liness display.
A ki's like tilts, lie \ inlerstofsl,
Was llotsam on the state’s hit hway.
The maiden said her rosy lias
Xo easement were for him to use.
Though they all others nn,h, • dipso.
His answer was somewhat ah--:ruse.
And thus progressed the argument
Concerning kisser ami kissce.
When *o the jury it was sent.
Who failed entirely to agree.
But, sent into their room again,
They pave iheir voice to the defense
And found the girl in fault for plain
“Contributory negligence.”
—Harper’s Rnrar.
THE LIE JOE TOLD.
Down in tho south; rn part of Baylor
county, Tex., you may still hear old
settlers make occasional references to
the Savages, or the Savage brothers, as
they sometimes call them. This does
not refer to the time v.’hon rite Indians
were in the country', although that time
is by no means so far distant as to be
beyond the memory of living man, nor
does it imply anything especially wild
and ferocious about the character of the
men in question. It merely goes back
to the first half of the eighties, when
two brothers of that name were among
the prominent inhabitants of that
sparsely settled district. In some coun
tries events of that period ■would bo
considered comparative!} modern, but
in western Texas they are ranked as
strictly ancient history.
It seems, from a can fal survey of the
facts in the case, that neither of the
brothers was really a bad man at heart,
notwithstanding the fact that a great
many people who ought to know are
strongly inclined to think otherwise. It
is certain that one of them was as true
a man as ever trod the soil of Texas, or
any other state*, for that matter. All
who knew him agree that the final year
of his life, at any rate, was a year of
such courage and self sacrificing hero
ism as one reads of in books, but seldom
looks for in real life. The people of
west Texas arc uot much prone to hero
worship, and whenever they agree that
a man of their acquaintance is above
the average of humanity there is very
likely to be some basis for the belief.
Judging merely from physical appear
ances, one would have had little trouble
in deciding which of the two men would
have been more likely to prove of heroic
mold. Bill, the younger, was a man of
magnificent physique, not unduly large,
Jput with muscles of such herculean
strength as pe~tect health and the free
' life of a western cowboy are apt to im
part. He was 1 ght complexioned and is
said to have possessed a vigorous, manly
countenance, such as ought to have
made him more successful in his love
affairs than he really was. Joe, on the
other hand, was as much a picture of
weakness and deformity as his brother
wty* of health and strength. He was not
only a peaked faced, slender slip of a
man, but lie was a cripple as well.
When he was 5 year.; old and Bill only
8, a cyclone bad struck the log house in
which the boys and their parents were
living.
The mother and father were killed,
but when the neighbors came to look
through the ruins of the cabin they
found Joe crouched on the bed with his
limbs spread out in such a manner as to
protect his baby brother. A heavy log
hail fallen across his right foot and
right wrist, crushing them both very
badly, but Bill was still sleeping in ab
solute unconsciousness of the existence
of any such disturbing affairs sis cy
clones. As a result of bis injuries at
the time Joe was clubfooted through
the whole of his life, and liis right fore-
ann had a big knot on it and a crook
that made his right hand turn out when
it should have turned in. It is said that;
Joe was proud of his deformities rather
than otherwise, presumably because
they had been incurred in tin* defense of
his baby brother, and that Bill was, for
the most part, tenderly regardful of the
brother who had sacrificed health and
almost life for him.
Naturally enough, Bill was tho more
prosperous of the two. Before he was
30 ho owned a considerable “bunch” of
cattle and leased quite a body of land
in the eastern part of Baylor county as
a ranch. Joe was his lino rider, and in
that capacity was enabled to do n great
deal of such work as did not require
any great amount of mere muscular
strength Everything worked smoothly
with them until May Conley came to
live with a married brother of hers who
lived only a few miles from the Savage
ranch. She was not a highly edu
cated girl by any means, and it is
doubtful if she was more than fairly in
telligent, but she was pretty, and she
was fickle—and that tells the whole
story. In this case Joe was the first
victim. He met May at one of the big
camp meetings that are common in that
country in the fall of the year, and aft
er that he was very pronounced in his
attentions to her for several months.
Then liis attentions ceased as suddenly
and abruptly as they had begun. Peo
ple noticed this, and they also noticed
that just about that time Bill began go-
iug to see her.
“Bill took it up just where Joe laid
it down,” remarked one cowboy to an
other during one of the intervals in a
dance on one occasion.
“Naw, that ain’t it,” responded his
friend “1 think Joe laid it down just
where Bill took it up. ”
One day, as the two brothers and one
or two others were engaged in branding
tflfU)- of Bill’s yearlings, tho subject
wAs brought up.
"Sure enough, Joe, whatever made
you quit, goin to see that Conley gal so
suddent?” asked Jim Smith, one of tho
helpers, in n jocular way.
“1 stopped so’s to give Bill a chance, ”
said Joe, with what was evidently a
forced attempt at gaycty.
i “chucks!” ejaculated his brother.
| “You needn’t a-stop*K(l for that. If I
; couldn’t beat you, I’d bettor quit!”
There was just the least bit <>f con- !
, temptunus emphasis on that word I
i “you,” and Joo noticed it. A slightly |
| shamed, pained look came over his poor, j
thin face as he faltered:
“W-wcll, 1 didn’t kocr much for her, !
] no way. I was just a-fooliu from tha
i first.”
'ly deliberate opinion is that this |
i fitat'-r.a nt was a lie. It is my opinion,
] furthermore, that in this single, un- i
j grammatical, mispronounced, mutilated
lie then* \yere loftiness of thought and
\ purity of purpose such as an angel in
heaven might well aspire to. Bill did ;
not take any such view of tho matter,
though, fur ho only looked up aud ro- |
tor ted angrily:
i “My opinion of anybody that would ;
1 go foolin round a woman when ho j
\ didn't care nothin for her is that ho
j ain’t much of a man.”
“He’s pretty small potatoes—ho |
Tom Jackson, tho
shore is,” put in
fourth man nt the branding. Nobody
noticed the remark particularly at tho
time, but subsequent events caused
them to think a great deal about it later
on.
“I’m surprised at you, Joe, ” said Bill.
The ghost of a forced smile hovered
piteously on Joe’s lips for a moment,
but he mere ly rubbed his forehead with
the knot on his wrist in the nervous
way peculiar to him on such occasions
Med said nothing.
Aside from one or two little inci
dents like this—which are hardly worth
counting as exceptions—Bill's courtship
was an illustration of the fact that, not
withstanding a certain very eminent
authority to the contrary, the course of
true love does occasionally run smooth
—for awhile. In this case it ran smooth
down to the very day set for the wed
ding. The ceremony was to be perform
ed at what was known as Plum Creek
schoolhonse, and early in the morning
Bill went with a number of his friends
to get ready for the festivities. In some
countries it might not be considered as
a part of the groom’s duties to make
these preparations, but in Texas it is
etiquette for anybody to do anything,
provided there is not some one else to
do it.
The ceremony was to take place at 10
o’clock. Perhaps half an hour before
that time Joe and his friend Jim Smith
were riding through the timber which
always abounds around creek bottoms
in Texas, and were much astonished
when, at a sudden Ixmd in the trail,
they came across tho supposed prospec
tive bride. She was on horseback aud
unaccompanied.
“Hollo!” exclaimed Joo in surprise.
'‘Art* you
“Yes,” answered May with a nerv
ous laugh. “I never was as glad to sec
anybody in my Ufa This here creek
bottom timber’s so thick a wildcat
would mighty nigh get lost in it, let
alone a woman. ”
“I should think that you and Bill
had been to Plum Creek schoolhonse
often enough to know the way by thisi
time?”
“I ain’t a-gein to Plum Creek,” said
May, with a foolish giggle.
. “What! Ain’t you goin to git mar
ried?”
“Yes.”
“Well, Bill’s at tho schoolhonse now,
a-waitiu for you. ”
May tossed her head aud then giggled
again.
“I ain’t a-waitin for him none,” she
said. “I might as well tel^you now as
any time—I’m goin to be married to
Tom Jackson this morning nt Round
Timbers. I’ve lost my way there, and I
want you to tell me how to go. ”
At the mention of Jackson’s name
Joe’s face hardened for a moment. He
was the man who had been so quick to
take Bill’s part in the quarrel with his
brother. Then Joe began to reason with
May as to her conduct, but a very few
moments sufficed to show him the fu
tility of the attempt. Promptly chang
ing his plans, he gave her a detailed
account of the way to Round Timbers.
"Say,” interrupted Jim Smith, who
had listened in profound astonishment
to the whole conversation, “you're mis
taken about’’—
“No, I ain’t,” retorted Joe. “Tho
trail’s been changed lately. That’s all
right, May. Como on, Jim.”
“1 still think you were mistaken
about that trail, ” said Jim as the two
men rode on together.
“No, I wasn’t mistaken,” said Joe.
“I just lied, that was all. I did it for
Bill’s sake. If May goes the way 1 sent
her, she’ll uot get to Hound Timbers
this moniin’. ”
After they had ridden a few momenta
in silence Joo began again.
“Jim, old fellow, for God’s sake
don’t let on that you’ve seen or heard
nothing this morning! It’ll be plenty
tough on Bill anyway. ’’
“I shorn won’t,’’ said Jim.
There was quite a crowd assembled
around,tho door of tho little log school-
house when these two men rode up.
The groom was there, and so was the
preacher; so also were tho people. The
house was decorated within and without
with flowers aud leaves and other omu-
meats more or less appropriate to the
occasion. However, there was one orna
ment generally considered necessary on
wedding occasions which was still miss
ing—namely, tho bride.
“Seen anything of May lately?” asked
Bill, stepping to the front as tne new
comers rode up. There was just a trace
of anxiety in his voice as he spoke.
* * Naw, ’ ’ answered Joe promptly. His
face looked perfectly unconcerned as ho
spoke, but in a very few moments a
cloud began to rest upon it 1 suspect,
though, that instead of grieving over
tho lio ho had told—as of course I'o
should have been—he was merely won
dering how he might spare Pfill tho
mortification which a public discovery
of tho real facts in regard to May might
occasion. Ho was now sitting with ouo
leg thrown over tho horn of his saddle, i
Suddenly his face lighted up with its
old sickly smile, and, in a voice that
trembled a little in spite of the bravado
he tried to throw into it, ho liegan:
“Bay, Bill, that was the devil of a
lie 1 told you about May just now. I
saw her uot over half an hour ago.”
“You did, did you? When will she
be hero?”
“She won’t be here at all. ”
Bill’s face grew stern and white.
“Why won’t she?” ho demanded.
"Because 1 directed her in tho wrong
road. Jim tried to tell her right, and I
wouldn't let him. Ain’t that so, Jim?”
Jim nodded grimly. With faces that
now began to grow drawn and anxious,
the spectators glanced from one speaker
to tho other in turn. Bill’s face was
fairly livid with rage, and his voice
trembled with the awfulness of repress
ed fury as ho asked tho next question:
“What did you do it for?”
Tho expectant silence that followed
was deathlike, but even then Joe’s voice
was hardly audible as he answered with
the same sickly smile still hovering
about his white lips:
“Because I useter court her myself
and you cut me out!”
Bofore the words were fairly out of
his mouth Bill sprang at him with the
furj' of a wild beast. With all tho force
of his mighty arm ho struck, and the
blow descended upon the arm—the crip
pled, knotted arm—which Joo had in
terposed to ward it off. Some say it de
scended upon tho very knot itself. He
fell from his pony as if he had been
shot, and lay for several moments on
tho turf where ho had fallen.
“Which way did you send her?” ask
ed Bill in the same awful tones ho had
used before.
“I won’t toll,” gasped Joe.
“Thou get up off that ground.”
Joe meekly obeyed.
“Get on your pony—no, I see it’s got
away from you. Then saddle up mine
yonder and go after May aud bring hef
back at once, sir! Do you hear?”
Joe meekly took the huge Texas sad
dle iu his left hand and carried it to
where the pony stood grazing, tied by a
long rope to a tree. His right arm hung
limp by his side. After some ineffectual
efforts to throw the saddle on with hit
left arm ho gave up tho attempt.
“I can’t get the thing on,” he said.
“Uso your right arm, sir!” called
his brother.
“I think you’ve broke his game arm,
Bill, ” said Jim Smith.
“It’s a lie!” shouted Joa “Thai
arm’s as good as it ever was. ”
To prove the truth of this assertion
he made a mighty effort and managed
to lift his arm to his shoulder, though
the wrist still dangled loosely from hi*
elbow. Even then he could not restrain
his face from wincing and his teeth
from clinching with the pain. Drop
ping the saddle, ho turned abruptly and
limped off into the woods without a
word.
Jim Smith afterward said that only
his solemn promise to Joe kept him
from telling tho whole truth at this
juncture just as ho knew it to be, aud
that ho had to grit his teeth
say cuss words under his breath to do it
ready by now too. Maybe we’l! get to
cat a weddin dinner today yet—only
a little late, of course.”
After some time had elapsed and nei
ther brother had “showed up, ” as the
phrase goes in Texas, Jim Smith walk
ed to the place where ho had left J.m*.
There the poor fellow was, still tied to
the tree—hat dead! The 30 minutes’
strain had been too much for his crip
ple 1 leg to bear, and it had gradually
given way, and tins had alh avt d the
poor fellow to choke to death. Of course
Jim lost no time iu rousing the quasi
wedding guests and in t 'lling tho real
facts about May. It is not the first in-
staueo in the history of the world when
a man has had the truth told about him
too late to do him any >od. A pursu
ing party was out aft. r Bill at < ace,
but all to no avail. Borne say hi* com
mitted suicide shortly afterward in Ban
Antonio; others, that he is still alive in
New Mexico; still others, that he is to
day in the insane asylum at Terrell. I
do not know what the truth about it is.
Mr. and Mrs. Tom Jackson still live in
Cottio county, Tex. Jim Smith is tho
man who first told me this story. Joo
Savage is buried on the kinks of Plum
creek, aud on his wooden headboard
you can still decipher the inscription,
“He Loved Mutch. ”—St Louis Globe-
Democrat.
Chinese Figure f^intcrns.
Chinese figure lanterns are easily
made. Tho light in tho lantern is a long
and substantial candle, and the doors
of the framework are filled with ground
glass, oil paper, oil silk or other trans
lucent material. Inside of the lantern
aud suspended ever the flame as high
up as possible is a little windmill at
tho end of whose arm are suspended
many grotesque or pretty objects run
ning all the way round the light.
These figures are cut from cardboard
or are made of bamboo, silk, cotton and
other materials. They represent horses,
warriors, peasant women carrying loads
upon their, heads, fishes, dragons, ser
pents, griffins, knights on horseback,
famous kings upon equally famous
chargers, birds, butterflies and insects.
Many are cut out of colored translucent
material, so that the light goes through
them and is tinged in the passage.
The moment the candle, pr the gas,
where that is employed, Ls lighted, the
hot air ascending causes the windmill
to revolve. This makes the figures travel
iu a circle around the flame, casting a
shadow, dark, pale or colored, upon the
translucent panes. By alternating tho
characters it may be beasts pursuing
men, soldiers chasing an enemy or birds
and animals in light.
The effect is very pretty, and, as the
fine thread or wire which suspends tho
figure casts almost no shadow, tho ap
pearance is very puzzling to an on
looker. The little figures are cut from
metal stencils by women and children,
who display considerable skill aud taste
in constructing them for this curious
stylo of ornamentation.—New York
Mail and Express.
Iron Working In Central Africa.
The working of iron is certainly the
most advanced art iu this region of Af
rica. Tho ore is mined, smelted and
fashioned by tho natives with great
hard aud i t&ill- Outside many of the villages
( stands the village smithy, merely a
then. As to the rest of the crowd, it
must be remembered that they knew
nothing but Joe’s own statement about
the matter aud that consequently they
all sympathized with Bill. After some
moments of condolence and consultation
Wliih the crowd, Bill, with some four ox
five others, started out to find Joe.
“Get that rope off your saddle there
and bring it along,’’said he to ouo oi
them.
“You ain’t goia to string him up.
arc you. Bill?” was tho rather anxious
reply.
“No. Just want to skeer him a little.
Come on. ’ ’
In a very short time they found the
man they were looking for.
“Are you ready to tell where May is
or to go after her?” Bill demanded.
“N-uo,” faltered Joo, with a dis
trustful glauco at tho little group of at*
teudonts.
Again his brother sprang at him.
This time he threw him to tho ground
and held him there with his grasp firm
upon his throat.
roof of shade boughs and grass support
ed by stakes. Here congregate the vil
lage gossips, who justify their presence
by an occasional turn at the bellows.
The tools are primitive, a rock for an
anvil, a weighty stone for the sledge
and pieces of iron bound to wooden
handles for the finer shaping and orna
mental work. Tho bellows consist of
two goatskins, each furnished with an
open mouth liko a purse, and connected
up by a piece of bamboo pipe to a nar
row clay union nozzle about 9 inches
long.
Tho blower sits on the ground, seizes
the mouth of each skin iu either hand,
and raises aud lowers them alternately,
first with tho mouth open aud with a
quick upward stroke to take iu the air,
then with the mouth closed and a trem
ulous downward pressure to force tho
blast. By this rude process a hot char
coal fire is maintained, and the work
turned out is excellent for the primitive
implements used—knives of great util
ity, and which take a good rough cut
ting edge; arrowheads aud spears, many
Don’t, Bill, old fellow, for God’s j of ,, thom ^riou.;!}'barbed and twisted,
n” rr'ic,uc i.i* ! and some showing a knowledge of the
value of the “blood groove;” axes for
battle and for general purposes, orna
mented with linear patterns aud beaded
edges, and with the blades set at an
acute angle to the shaft so that every
ounce of power is transmitted in the
direction of the blow.—Geographical
Journal.
sake!” gasped Joe as his brother some
what relaxed the grip on his throat “I
didn't mean no harm by it—honest, I
didn't I won’t #) it no more. What
are you goin to do with that rope.
Bill? You’re not goin to kill your
poor, no account brother, are you, old
boy?”
Without a word Bill and his attend
ants continued wrapping tho rope
around Joe. Then they stood him up
beside a tree and tied him to it so that
his clubfoot touched the ground, while
tho other, the strong one, was doubled
back in the coil of rope.
“Now, you ungrateful whelp,” said
Bill, as he started to leave, “I’ll be
back iu 30 minutes to see if you’re
ready to tell me. ”
“Didn’t ho kiss your hand while you
were tyin him?” uskid some one as
they walked away.
‘ ‘ Dogged if 1 know, “said Bill. * 4 Did
he?"
Hardly had they left when Jim Smith
came up and at once begun to untie the
ropes.
“Don’t!" said Joe. “Bill will bo
back in a few minutes. Just unslip this
loop here. Thank you! The strain ad
on my right arm, and it hurt because it
was sore. Jim, this is hard—but I guess
I can stand it, for Bill’s sake. I ain't
hurtin so much now, though, ns 1 was.
It's mostly all a joke. Bill was allcrs a
powerful fellow to joke. I wisht you’d
go tell him when he comes back 1 say
please uot to briiQt auylxxly else with
him. ’’
At tho appointed time Bill saddled
his pony and rode off to where Joo was.
“I’ll take the boss so that if Joe’s
ready by now ho can start out after May
aud bring her back. 1 rather guess he’t
The Tattooed Rnrmese.
It took us nearly three days to pole
up tho Nautabet The country being
flat, there was absolutely nothing to
look ut but jungle; it was impossible to
stand up iu the boats without moving
the mats, aud the mats could uot be
moved so long as it rained. Round each
boat runs a platform about a foot broad
for the boatmen to polo from, aud it
was possible for us occasionally to
stretch our legs by standing up on tbia
platform. The boatmen were all Bur
mese, and they stood up to their work
remarkably well Poling a boat for an
indefinite number of hours at a time is
one of tho few'things this lazy race will
voluntarily do well.
The physique of all the boatmen was
excellent, as indeed the Burmese phy
sique generally is, especially about the
legs, which are shapely and provided—
unlike the Indian leg—with calves. As
most readers will know by this time,
all Burmese men, without any excep
tion whatever—unless it be the very
latest noo-Burmese or fin do siecle young
bloods of Rangoon—are tattooed iu
black or very dark blue from tho waist
down to tho knee. The patterns are usu
ally graceful, and tho effect is by no
means unpleasiug. It looks as though
tho subject wore a very tight pair of
drawers fitting close to the skin.—Fort
nightly Review.
BET ON FIRE ENGINES.
Tlieaa Artom Had I,nt» of Sport snd
lllooki-d liruadway ItmidrH.
They were actors, and at 14 minutes
after 10 o’clock Tuesday morning they
were strolling down Broadway toward
“Dead Man’s Curve. ” It was raining
dismally, ancT"the Rialto was shrouded
in gloom and dampness, but to the ac
tors it was full of sunshine and ready
money and new fall engagements, and
as they strolled leisurely and with long,
solemn strides down the thoroughfare it
was evident that tho ghost had walked
recently.
Just as they reached Sixteenth street
a fat policeman puffed hurriedly up
from the middle of tho block, and,
twisting open the door of the little red
box on the lamppost, pulled ti.e hook
inside and turned iu an alarm of fire.
The two players stopped and * ^ bed
the operation with placid iu teres, .sud
denly the actor with the gray streaks
in his hair jerked his watch from his
waistcoat pocket.
“I’ll bet you the first engine docs or
does not reach this crossing within four
minutes. Which is it? Does it or doesu ’ t
it? Quick! Take your choice. ”
“Anything in the way of a fire ma
chine?” demanded the actor with the
reddish locks.
“Anything from a chief's wagon to
a water tower. Which is it?”
“It does. ”
“For $10 it doesn’t!”
“It’s a go.”
Both strollers reached down in their
pockets, each pulled forth a $10 bill
and handed it to the open mouthed cop
per. “You hold the stakes,’’ command
ed the senior bettor, “and also get your |
watch out. One minute is gone already, ” |
ho announced. “Officer, if no fire eu- \
gine passes this crossing here in three !
minutes, you give me the §20. If one I
does, the money goes to my friend. ”
Two actors and one fat policeman
standing with watches in hand before
an open firebox do not take all day to
draw a crowd in Broadway. Before the
second hands had passed half round the
dials two messenger boys, one street
cleaner and a dozen ordinary pedestri
ans had joined tho group.
"What's the trouble?” iuqnired one
of those anxious faced men in spectacles
who are always on tho spot when there
is calamity browing. “What’s the mat
ter here?”
“Dcre seeing how long do cop can
hold his breath,” explained one of tho
messenger boys.
“He’s stringin yer,” corrected his
freckle faced confrere. “Dey’s seein how
long ’is wite wings can keep from
work. ”
“One minute and a half,” announced
the senior bettor. “You’ve got just 90
seconds left. ”
“Do cop’s good fer a week,” declared
tho first A. D. T., and in bin excitement
tho copper forgot to swing his club at
him. Another quarter of a minute tick
ed itself away and tho crowd had swol
len until it encompassed all sides of tho
firebox and ran over into the street
4 4 They have got to sprint or you lose, * ’
said the policeman.
“It’s a century run,” announced the
man with the pipestem legs. 4 4 1 remem
ber reading abont it They finish right
here on this corner. ”
“Thirty seconds left,” cried tho first
actor.
“Hero they come!” yelled his friend.
And fur across the square could lie
heard the clang of a fire engine and the
feverish jingling of a battalion chief’s
cart.
“It’s a boss race now,” chuckled tho
fat policeman. “You’ve just 14 seconds
to win or lose tho ten spots. ”
The crowd, without knowing why
any more than any crowds do, had
caught tho excitement of the two actors
aud half tho men had watches in their
hands and were snapping their fingers
wildly.
“Here dey come!” screamed the frec
kle faced messenger, and out of the mist
plunged three gray horses, their bodies
far extended and jumping toward the
crossing for every ounce thpt was iu
them, the huge steam fire engine rock
ing and reeling behind them. As if con
spiring against the man who had dared
to bet against the department, the
chief’s cart rounded into the square
from Fourth avenue, and, joining the
big sputtering and scxeeching steam
chariot, raced nock aud neck through
tho broad street
“Come on. now! Como on! Hit ’em
op! I’ve got you!” yelled the redhaired
player.
“Just two seconds more,” said the
senior bettor.
“Here they arc! You win!” And the
fat policeman, forgetting that ho was
one of tho finest, waved his club hys
terically as the hoofs of tho chief's
brown horse clattered over tho imagi
nary line just 3 minutes and 59 seconds
after tho bet had been made.
“Give the money to my friend,” said
tho actor with the gray locks. “Wo
will go over now and interview the
drink juggler across the square. ”—New
York Press.
only Man Haa a Nose.
Man is the only animal that has a
real nose or chin. Horses have faces
that are all nose; swine have snouts
and elephants trunks; lions have vast
smelling organs, but none of them any
thing that can bo separated from their
faces aud called a nose. It is even more
true of the chin, which is practically
human. ^
‘‘Sly boy came homo from school
one day with his hand badly lacera
ted and bleeding, and suffering great
pain,” says Mr. E. I. Sehall, with
Meyer Bros.’ Drug Co., St. Louis.
Mo. “I dressed the wound, and ap
plied Chamberlain’s Pain Bui in free
ly. All pain ceased and in a remark
ably short time it healed without
leaving a sear. For wounds, sprains,
swellings and rheumatism, I know of
on medicine or prescription equal to
it. 1 consider ita household neces
sity.” The 25 and .10 cent sizes for
sale by DuPre Drug Company.
The greatest claims for S.S.S. (Swift’s
Specific; are made by those whom it has
cured, and after all the most valuable
reputation is one which is given by those
wno speak from experience. We could
publish a page of what we claim S.S.S.
will do, hut the people prefer to read
of what it has done, aud hence we give
the testimony of reputable, well-known
people iu different parts of the country,
who gladly tell of how S.S.S. has cured
them of blood diseases, after trying
other treatment in vain.
No wonder S.S.S. has such staunch
friends. The experience of those who
take it to-day will be the same as of
those who tw enty years ago found it the
only cure. Elood diseases are obstinate,
and cannot he cured by one medicine
in a dozen which claims to cure them;
so when S.S.S. is taken with satisfactory
results, after a disappointing experi
ence with other remedies, it is not
strange that it has grateful friends by
the score.
MR. WILLIAM SOWERS.
///yi
7J
Mr. William Sowers, of Bradford Ohio,
was cured by S.S.S. ten years ago of •
severe blood poison, and writes that to
this day no sign of the dreadful disease
has ever returned. He says:
“I had a terrible blood disease which
is considered incurable, and was treated
for a long time by the best physicians,
but they did me no good. The disease
seemed to get a firmer hold on me, and
attacked my tongue and throat, which
were soon full of vile ulcers.
“I changed doctors several times, and
afterwards took nearly every blood rem
edy on the market, without the slightest
benefit. After five years of treatment
which did me no good whatever, I was
induced u> try S.S.S. This remedy
proved itself equal to the case, for in a
few months I was entirely cared and my
skin was perfectly clear and smooth.
I could hardly believe that the cure was
permanent, but ten years have elapsed
and no sign of the disease has yet ap
peared.”
S.S.S. is a sure cure for Cancer, Ca
tarrh, Contagious Blood Poison, Scrof
ula, Rheumatism, Eczema, and all othei
blood diseases, which other remedies
have no effect whatever upon. It it
Purely Vegetable
and is the only blood remedy which
is guaranteed to contain no mercury,
potash or other harmful mineral. S.S.S.
is sold by all druggists.
Books on Blood and Skin Diseases will
be mailed free to all who address Swift
Specific Company, Atlanta, Georgia.
Uoneet Sweden.
In Sweden a crime is an event. Theft
particularly is very rare. Honesty is
the fundamental quality of the race, is
naturally i^coguizul aud officially
counted upon. In this regard tho Stock
holmers show' a confident carelessness
which is always a surprise to strangers
and causes them some uneasiness. In
the theaters aud concert halls there are
large cloakrooms, where hats and furs
are left without the smallest safeguard.
The performance over, each one again
takes possession of his effects, and an
accident never occurs. The inhabitants
are accustomed to expect a reciprocal
probity iu the transactions of everyday
life. Upon most of tho tramways in
Stockholm c jnductors have been dis
pensed with. The passenger himself de
posits his 10 ;re iua little till placed at
tho end of the vehicle, behind the dri
ver. It is patriarchal—aud economical.
—Parisian.
A Medical Student.
Each student of medicine, before
graduating to beome a doctor, has to
undergo a catechism, to see if he is
competent to practice medicit e.
Here is a sample of what he must
answer:
Question: What is the cause of
general weakness and tired-out feel
ing? Answer: Poor digestion. Ques. :
What is the cause of poor diges'ion?
Ans.: Catarrh of the lining mem
brane of the digestive organs. Qurs.:
What are the names of the tiigestiv®
organs? Ans,: Stomach, liver and
bowels. Ques.: How then, can the
weakness and tired-out feeling be
cured? Ans.: By curing the ca
tarrh of the digestive organs. Ques. :
What remedy would you use for this?
Ans.: l’e-ru-na is the only internal
remedy for chronic catarrh. Pe-ru-
na cures catarrh wherever located.
Ques.: What is meant by the term
female diseases? Ana. : It means
simply, catarrh of the pelvic organs.
Ques.: Will Pe-ru-na also cure ca
tarrh of these organs? Ans.: Yea
Pe-ru-na cures catarrh whenever lo
cated.
A beautifully illustrated and in
structive book, written by Dr. Hart
man especially for women, will b«
sent free for a short time. This
Mok is for women only. Address
The Pe-ru-na Drug Manufacturing
Co., Columbus, Ohio.