The ledger. [volume] (Gaffney City, S.C.) 1896-1907, September 02, 1897, Image 3
THE ^I^IY-WASHY MAN.
life i am \ii]| n f 0 p tl j , nv ri . ( . 01( ]
fore lhe ‘‘hurch and show down with
any Vnnn i
Iho
•ago of
O’d Horso •i^ oneo '
Crook Talks
u tl
it? rruwi
1. I mu
ilS iriHJit
a .M* ■ l o«Ii . t ns „ n y 0 f, vou> hut when I
jTit Rofod i mi( ,
k iiowfuvct
rult'Siof ti
llnrpy
He-
Tlie Trontile " 1 ^
(iriflln—tie AV:»» I'tvep> lti 1 UK In
liulon. But X**»ep Ftiuml
the Home llnse.
• c
in a lew
woiijld d
‘lust
uul last" I have covered a heap
of ground and saw many sights down
here in the valley
of dry' hones. J’.nt
1 have yet got to
sec a wishy-washy
man that didn't
land himself be
tween tile de vil ami
the deep blue sea.
and die with his
feathers ruuied up
the wrong way.
It pays to be
straight goods and the same thing all
the way through. Any man that ain't
plum willin to step out and take sides
and piek his ling and then, stand to the
guns liil the cows conic home, and the
eliickens lly up to rcost. ami the evonin
stars sing together, is probable to spend
his days in vanity and vexation and
■wind up with a great fret.
I will cuss a
to myself. Is it agin the
he church for a man to engage
cuss words whe’ nothin else
uu '7 a "o the ease just ice?”
P iy. to he certainly, of course,”
s the elder, “it is dead agin the rules
lor a member to use cuss words under
any surroundin calamity."
''Well, that air.t my understandin of
the situation,” says Drury, “1 have
been hearin of eussin Methodists all the
days of my life, and* my notion is that
most any of them will cuss a little
ml git cm good
Too M«ny for Himself.
About the most unhappiest and
changeful man that, ever get his wash in
done down in the old Panther Creek set
tlement was old man Drury Griflln,
which used to run a water mill a little
ways below the confluence of that his
toric stream. Drury was a niiddlin
good farmer and the most bnlliest sort
of a mill man, and so fur as 1 know he
always got along mighty well in regards
to business ami the Ueetin things of this
vain world. Hut somehow he never could
get along smooth and easy with the
church. Touchiu the church and in re
ligion Drury was jest simply too many i
for himself. He always was a church
man to some extent, but he didn’t have
the stiekin and stay in qualities. (Conse
quentially he was forever fiounderin
and Hoppin around from the fire into the
fryin pan and back again.
He started out when he was a right
young man by takin stock with the Old
School Baptists, down at Coal Springs
church, llenceforwards everything
wore along smooth and easy for six
months or maybe a little better, but late
along in the summer or early in the fall
of the year they belt the regular three
days’ meetin at Coal Springs, with din
ner on the grounds and feet wash in. on
Sunday. Bight then and there Drury
Crithn got his bristles up and kicked
out of the traces. He took up a spot
notion to the extent that he didn’t be
lieve in people washin their feet in pub
lic, and in cold water to boot, and iie
wouldn't have nothin to do with the
side show. He didn’t make out like he
was smarter than the preacher and he
couldn't quote any Scripture to main
tain the kick. He didn't know for cer
tain why. and he didn't give a oontinen-
tial red. But he jest simply didn’t be
lieve in it and never would believe in it
if he lived nine hundred and ninety-
nine years on the earth.
Whereas, the church come together
and sent a committee to call on Brother
Gritlin and talk a few seatterin grains
of sense into his head if such a thing
could possibly be did. But that was all
pluperfect vanity. The more they
talked the higher Drury kicked till
finally at last the committee had to give
him up as a bad egg and a gone geslin.
He still stuck to it that he was a natur
al-born, genuine Old School Baptist,
and as good a member of the church as
arry man on the committee, but he was
dead square agin the feet washin busi
ness and jest simply wouldn’t take any
in hisn. The committee worked and
worried and fumbled and fooled along
with him for two days on a stretch and
then reported back the general results
to the church. After some short talks
and seatterin remarks from various and
sundry members they took Drury
Griffin by the nape of his neck and the
seat of his breeches, as it were, and
turned him out of the church and put
up the bars behind him.
when you stir 'em i
kot, 1 don't feel like I am anything
but jest another eussin Methodist.”
“You have got that down all wrong.”
tlie elder went, on, “and you will have
to read up on the rules in orderment to
walk upright and keep yourself in the
fold. Ain’t you ready now to say you
got wrong, and you are sorry for it, and
won't, do so no more?”
“.Not as anybody knows of, breth
ren,” says Drury. “Seems to me like if
a man jtst can’t worry along without
eussin a little, around the edges that is
a ease in pint between him and the good
Lord. 1 have foumt out that, my main-
cat. weak pint is for eussin, but yet I
feel like I am as good a Methodist as
any man in ihs crowd', and a hundred
ecanmon men couldn't throw me over
board. from the Old Ship. Methodist,
Methodist is my name, and Methodist
will 1 die.”
But, nevertheless, notwithstandin
henceforth thereof, as Drury went on
from bud to worse with his weak pint
for eussin the dhurch come together
and throwed him overboard and the
Old Ship sailed proud and steady on her
wav.
Pickens on sight. But right then if
Asey hud started out to shoot every
man that talked like he mought be for
i Stribbiia and then, voted for the other
; man ou election da\ lie. would be busy
with that large and. bloody job even iti-
i to this good day and hour.
Well, in the run of years, old' man
! Asey got so all-Jired mad' with the
! democrats till he lit out and went over
j to the whigs—which it come to pass
that the uiiigs didn't to say need him
I any worse than the democrats. .Now
Asey Stribblin was a man like this. It
I he didn't see what he wanted lie would
! ask for it, and. then if the gang he was
; gal lupin with didn’t give it to him he
I wouldn't gallop no-more, if the party
j played his way lie would play, and if
j they didn’t he was ready right then
; immediately, to throw his hand to the
! pack and quit the game. lie soon quit
the whigs because they wouldn’t give
i him anything in sight, and then pn*s-
; eutly he turned, out to be a wild and
woolly know nothin. He stuck to the
know nothins till they went to pieces,
J but somehow he never could get tjie seat
! of his breeches greased exactly right so
! heeouldslideintoa fat office, lie kicked
i and he cussed, and he funit'd and he
fussed all the. days of his life, and
i finally come to the puss where he
: wouldn’t vote for any livin man on
; any ticket. Ones! upon a time he got
| so furious and felonious mad til! he
| swore he wouldn’t vote for the Saviour
i of this lost and mint world if He was
runniti for president on the prohibi
tion ticket.
And Asey Stribblin was yet on the
I sunny side of sixty when he died. But
. at the same time lie died for the good
I of his country.
RUFUS SANDERS.
ARP TALKS OF CRIME
PALMISTRY MADE EASY.
“Another CnsHin VetJimllM.”
By this time Drury Griffin was mad
with the human race in general, but
old Coal Springs church im partielar.
The more he talked about it the madder
he got, till the next news we got he was
foamin at the mouth and eussin like a
stage coach driver.
Along in the big protracted media
times the next summer, by gracious,
all of a suddeut like Drury Grif
fin bloomed out in full as a Methodist
and got his name on the church books
over at Dark Log. You must recollect
he was mad with Old School Baptists
and wanted to get as far away from
them as he possibly could jest for spite
—which it didn't take him long to run
slap out to the other end of the rope.
It was a powerful long jump, but Drury
made it with one leap.
Now then, it want many months be
fore they had Drury up over at Bark
Log charged with the general and fre
quent use of United States language,
which was overcotnin to the settlement
and unbecomin to a member of the
Methodist church. To put it pat and;
plain, Drury had got worse and worse
and cussed and cussed till he scorched
the native air. and old Bark Logchurch
had spit in her hands and rolled up her
ilceves for business. When they
bruug Drury up for trial Klder New
ton took the case in hand and put in
some straight questions.
“Brother Griffin,” saya he, “it haa
?ome to the ears of the church that
you have been eussin and earryin on
«candlous both in private and in pub
lic. and we want to hear from you.
Have you got anything to suy as to
why the church should not visit on
you the usual chastisement meted out
to a weak and wayward member?"
“I will own up to cuudn a little, often
tnd oo. around the edgea." Bays Drury,
“but as to my general moral walks in
From I’ll low to Post.
For a long time after that Drury
Griffin stuck to it and maintained that
he was a better Methodist than “arry
durn one” of the men which turned him
out of the church. He got madder ami
madder with the men which were hold- j
in the helm of the Old Ship, till by and j
by he give it out that be wa» goiu to
build up the true Methodist church. !
One day he wen't out in the old field !
andi knocked up a pine pole pen, which .
he called the True Church. He put in '
the benches and built a pulpit and
bought a Gig Bible. Then he fell in
with I’urson Ze'b Newton—which in ;
the main time Zeb had been turned ,
out of the church for rklin a squeaiin j
chestnut sorrel horse on the circuit— \
and Zeb was anonymously elected to be
tihe preacher of the True Church. But
it seems as if the True Church didn’t ;
draw as fast and furious as Drury aud j
Zeb lowed it would Zeb was the :
preacher and Drury was the church,
lin'd when it come to pass that they !
couldn't turn the created world wrong ;
side out and upside dc.vn, they belt ;
a few eussin matches together, amt i
then adjourned the meetin and quit.
But in the run of time Drury Griffin
jined in with first one uhurch and then !
another till finally at last he didn’t |
have nowheres to gv>. lie put. his mem- I
bership in with the Presbyterians and |
wont along smooth for awhile, but pres- j
ently he got mad “because they sot ;
down to sing and riz up to pray.” He
lowed that wan’t in line with his no
tions of religion, so he took out and
quit.
The next thing everybody kr.owed
Drury was jined in with the Lpiseopul
church, but he didn’t stick there six
months. 1 bait told the folks*all along
that if Drury Griffin ever got any
religion that would keep he would
have to take it in the very light
est foam, and i lowed maybe he had
now found the proper place at last.
But he soon took up Die notion that
dancin was as bad us eussin. And be
sides that, 'ie said they didn't do any
thing in the church but read prayers
aud sing songs, and kneel down and
get up, and then get up and kneel
down. So Drury he “riz and fell with
’em” as long us he could stand it, and
then dropped out into the cold world
onest more.
To tell the Bible truth, all the
churches and any church was too good
for Drury Griffin. lie had been bo rued
on the other side of every question,
and the mainest trouble with Drury
Griffin was the all-around eussedness
of Drury Griffin. And when his time
come he died out of the church, and out
of sorts, and- out of humor with the
whole created human race.
Slime Thin if In Politic's.
Now old man Asey Btribblin was
about as bad off in polities as Drury
(iriffin was with regards to his religion.
Old man Asey didn’t have no trouble
touchin the church, but when it come
to politics he was on the other side
every time the convention come to or
der. He started out in life as a scream-
in democrat and stood on that puncheon
for many years. But as time went on
he took a fool notion to run for office,
lie went in for high constable first,
but most of the votes went to the other
man aud the distance Hag fluttered
down in Asey’s face. He next made the
race for county coroner, and onest
more luck run from him like n shot and
let in the other mum come under the
wire first.
Then presently Asey Stribblin got
sick and sore. He made out like some
body had cheated him outen what was
his by rights. At the same* time the
onlyest trouble with Asey was that he
didn’t get vote* enough to put him in
the office. What is so now was so then
and always will be so. The mainest
thing is the votes. Asey thought every
blessed roan that smiled at him and
talked kind and pleasant to him was a
Stribblin man. and then when the votes
didn’t pan out like he had set the Ag
gers damn he let the sap run up and
talked like a silver-tongued idiot. He
beard that old man Tommy Pickens
voted for the other man after talkin
like he mought be for Stribblin. and
from that be threatened to shoot
Gives Ccmparotivo Sia'j'stlcs on
Lawlessness North and South.
Amnslnar Is Shown—There Are
500 |»#-r Uefit. More Felonli** Cor.i-
in it ted hy Wtiltcf In New York
Than in Ceorjrln.
I have just received the third volume
of “Compendium of t be Census of 1
Plight years have passed since the peo- i
pie made their returns, and the time is i
nearing when they will be called on j
again. It takes a long time and costs |
millions of money, but it is a big thing
and diffuses knowledge among {he pro- j
pie. It is better that the money be ’
spent that way, for there are no private
schemes nor corporation swindles in it j
and it gives cmplMvinent to thousands •
of needy people, i he census is the only j
mode of getting at the. true condition !
of the nation’s affairs, and a enmpara- j
five view of the wealth, resources, edii- j
cation aud morality of the people of the
different states.
I have been very much interested in
these comparisons, and feel prouder
than ever before of my state and sec
tion. For more than half a century
the partisan and sectional literature of
it tvffh their arms. In nuiSLers they
are as tlvi hundred to one of t h curistoe-
! mey. They all deserve to have 'lonu *
—homes of their own, unincumfyifed.
A home means more tlian« shelter. It
means roses and vines and shade trees
and fruit. Ask the poor renter who is j
bumped about frotirphiee to place every j
year. Ask his wife and daughters what 1
they think of home. The census puts
down 09.S90 white families in Georgia 1
who have hemes, and says that- SMi per '
rent, of these are prdd for ami have no •
incumbrance. Virginia 1;as 97 percent,
paid for; Mississippi and South Caro
lina 9.'! per cent. each.
Massachusetts has IT.I.ooo families ,
owning homes, but percent, of then:
are mortgaged. New York has 490,’';;.i
homes, and 11 percent, are mortgaged:
and the compiler says more than 9 » p r
j cent, of all the home incumbrance of
! the United States is in the north At-
i h’.ntie and north central division.-—
i only -D/f, per cent, is on the homes of t’.o
i south Atlantic states. The niortga^re-
: on Mnssnehusi is homes amount, to
; $102,948,190. Just think of it—rumiirtte
i over it—over one hundred millions of
Gm CATCHES A THIEF.
M bo Smith Had No Fear and Did
Hor Work Woll.
i
WStli Du* Aid o; n Friend Slie DrnaRed
the Fellow Unek to the House
Hr Had liolilird and Held
Him I'riaouer.
l.nrkln Krnd Her Hiiml and Then Told
a Friend Uie Trick.
“O, Mr. Larkin, read my palm, won’t
you?”
Larkin, that arch impostor nnd bluff
er, took her hand confidently and
scowled. After a moment of intense
scrutiny he asked if she was sure she’d
be willing to have him tell what he
saw. She defied him to do his worst.
In the half hour since he had met
her he had formed some general notions
as to what sort of a person she was.
On these as a basis he began, touching
vaguely but confidently on the eharae-
teristies of her life, her fortune, her
t..stes, and, most of all. her heart. She
was inclined to treat the performance
as a joke.
“Perhaps I’d better stop,” Larkiu
said, deepening bis scowl.
“Is your vocabulary becoming ex
hausted, Mr. Larkin?”
“No; but there are things here that
you might prefer not to have mentioned
before company.”
She laughed a little nervously, and
told him to go on. After a little pause,
be said slowly;
"You are leading a double life. To
those about you you show only one side
of your nature. Your iunermost
thoughts and your true self are as dif-
fernt from those you reveal to your
friends as night is from day.”
She started to draw her hand away;
then, cither from curiosity or bravado,
checked herself.
“Half of your life is made up of n
great regret that lurks in your heart
and will not be lived down, in time,
perhaps—”
She blushed and sprang away. "1
didn’t think you’d be so mean,” she
said.
“I warned you; do not blame me,"
Larkin answered, with a show of fa
tigue after the terrific concentration
just endured. She made an excuse to
leave the room.
“That’s such an easy thing that it
seems a shame to do it," Larkin laughed
after she was goue. “The average girl
is sentimental, and the veteran of a se
ries of those complications respect
fully referred to us love affairs. Tell
her that she is ‘leading a double life,’
and she regards herself us a heroine;
speak of ‘a great regret,’ and her mind
turns to her most recent affair. Just
put your statements in romantic lan
guage, nnd she’ll believe you, unless
she’s too nearly level-headed. That kind
don’t cure to have their palms read,
anyway.”
"How often do you find a girl who
doesn’t believe in palmistry, Mr. Lar
kin?" some one inquired. But Larkiu
had become suddenly busy in extract
ing a carnation from a bowl, and did
not hear.—Chicago Times-llerald.
A I.ittle Knowledge.
The following answers iu-** given in
reply to questions asked a certain New
Hampshire school a-t the bcgimiing of
the term. These questions were asked
to determine the standing of the pu
pils, with a view to grading the school:
1. A sentence are words used to
limit or modify the meaning of a
noun or pronoun.
2. I is used u.s the meaning of your
self; we is for more than ore.; you an
other person; us for a lot of them.
3. An adverb is a word used to grati
fy or mollify the meaning of an adjec
tive, etc.
4. A interjection is a word that ex-
pres'ses a prize or a notion.
5. A verb is a word used to assist or
assault some person or thing.
0. The boy fell into the pord is a
preposition.
7. The trade winds come from the
north and are caused by the gulf
stream; they ore of great use, because
ships can sail on them.
8. The vice president is the chief
magistrate of New Hampshire.
9. The sun causes day aud night;
when the sun turns on its axis it thus
caures the seasons.
10. The flags and stripes on the flag
mean how the brave men fought to save
their country.—Chicago Chronicle.
An Old Gem Reset.
“Wodsleigh is something of a fisher
man. isn’t he?"
“Pefbaps he is. perhaps he is; but in
business matters I always found him
perfectly Reliable.”—Chicago Journal.
<Vl;t. against the common people of one
little state having ubont double the
w hite population i f Georgia. Car they
over pay it? New York is but little
better, having $243,000,000. Tin fact, the
the north has overshadowed and lni-1 wao:e north is eovered.a.sw;th a blanket
in dialed us with unfair, untrue and ; t>.V debt, and the millionaires are the
slanderous statements. By these un- i owrers of it. Debt! What a hard, tm-
christiun methods of their press andi feeling word it is. My old partner was
pulpits their own good people have !
been poisoned against us, and immi- i
gration influenced in the northern
i
i
wont to say it has a harder alliterative '
following, viz: debt. duns, death, dam- j
ration and the devil. Is it any wonder i
hannels. Personally, I do net com-J that stieh exponentsasDebsardGeorge
plain of this, for I esteem it a blessing ' and Coxey rise up and. plead for the peo
that neither northern fanatics nor for
eign paupers have to any alarming ex
tent infested our fair lands. The nnt-
p!e—the common people—the toilers
who have ro homes at all? Is it any
wonder that strikes are made and the
ural increase of our own people will soon people carry blood in their eyes, and
enough occupy the south and secure to ; desperation in their hearts? Put yottr-
tis a homogeneous citizenship that will wlf in them place, if you can. and then
continue to be the most moral and the | y r,, t will fee’ as they feel,
most patriotic of any this side of the j But. while we sympathize with them.
Atlantic. Not long ago an Ohio man 1 nud pity them, let us be grateful that
had the cheek to publish a letter about ; we live in this southern land.end are in
our lawlessness, and said it was amaz- the peaceful enjoyment of so many
ing impudence of Georgia or the south ' r:<‘h b’essings. May the good Lord pre-
to invite northern people to settle here, i ^erve us from their crimes and their
Well, we don’t invite him nor any of | debts! is my prayer.—Bill Arp, in.At-
Yonkcrs has had many a burglary
this summer. The police have tried to
catch the thief; so have uiosl of the
other male citizens, but all in vain. It
remained for a young woman to land
the man who the police think has ter
rorized the Hudson titer section for
mouths.
She is Miss Klttie Smith, says the
New York World, a winsome girl of 22,
who lives with her parents in a pretty
cottage at No. 91 Ravine avenue, over
looking the river. She is black-haired
and brown-eyed. lien face is well
tanned by the summer sun, for she is
an athlete and pulls an oar that few
of the young men in Yonkers can hops
to beat.
Yonkers folks these summer days
leave their doors and windows open to
<atoh the breeze from the river. The
Smith cottage was not closed at all cm
Mor.day. Miss Smith had been de
veloping some photographs she had
taken and was waiting for one of her
friends, who was to help finish them.
It was almost supper time and she was
reading in the parlor. A shadow
passed down the side of the house.
“Here he comes,” said Miss Smith to
her younger sister.
But no one came upstairs. Sti!'. Miss
Smith sat reading, when suddenlj* the
shadow passed across her eyes again,
^he looked tip quickly. She saw a
strange man going out the gate.
“The silver! The silver!” she gasped,
and het sister looked up.
Her book dropped to the floor and
she tan quickly to the dining-room.
Ime saw it ail at a ala nee—the house
his kind. • An unknown friend writes
me from Nebraska and says: “Call off
your dogs. Let the Yankees alone
and blow your horn for Germans. I
have lived for 13 years right here where
both abound find I will lake the Ger
mans or the Swedes or the Swiss every
time. The
lan.ta Constitution.
GREAT SAVING.
An
\niiiNinK; Picture of the Great Art
ist. Turner.
Among the many stories told of the
penurious little barber, the father of
Yankees have hated you j the famous artist. Turner, there is one
for generations. They are born hating
you, anti raised up in schools and
churches to hate you. They can’t help
it. But these foreigners have no such
prejudices. They don’t like your ne
groes, but have got not king against you.
They tire a fair-minded, industrious
people, and I have found them honest
nnd kind a ml good neighbors whom you
can depend on in time of trouble.”
But to the census. Look to these fig
ures on crime and criminals in some
of the stairs north and south in 1890:
Maszaohu.setts, convicted criminals in
prison 3,227
Nev. York, convicted criminals in
prison 11,468
Ohi >. .•onvicted criminals In prison—
l.linols, eonvicied criminals in prison .3.;w0
Total
Now deduct tie
m-Kroes..
22.r.C)
. .... 1,7'Jit
Leaving whites 21,755
Now let us t.ike four southern states:
Georgia, whites 242
South Carolina, whites
Mississippi
Virginia
....123
....11!'
...>2
Total fWI
Now, the total white population of
the four northern states is 13,477.000,
and the total white population of the
four southern states is 3,000,400, being
about one-fifth.
The negro has been eliminated in
both statements, and as the population
of the four northern states is five times
that of ours, w e will multiply our con
victed white prisoners by five, which
would give us 4,330, against 21.745. I
said in a recent letter that there were
30 per cent, more of felonies in New
Y ork or Massachusetts than in Georgia.
I was mistaken. There are five times
as many, which is 500 per cent., and this
is the ratio according to white popula
tion. I tcfll you, my brethren, this cen
sus compendium proves tin alarming
condition of things up north, and it is
high time our southern churches were
organizing boards of missions and send
ing missionaries up there. We send
them to Mexico and China and Brazil
and to the Indies in the west, why not to
Massachusetts nnd New York ami Ohio,
w here crime and immorality prevail to
it greater extent than iu any civilized
country? That is just what Mr. Stetson
said—the statistician of Massachu
setts. Bis language as published was:
“There is no country upon earth where
crime is so flagrant and so frequent as
in Massachusetts.” Her population is
double our white population, and yet
she has 15 times as many white crim
inals iu her prisons—and what is worse
than all, my brethren, 748 of them arc
women. .last ponder over it, and, like
the prophet, exclaim: “How are the
mighty fallen!” Only one white woman
in the jails or chaingungs of Georgia,
and 748 in the Puritan state of New
Kngland. What shall we do about it?
What can we do? But this is not nil
that the census tells. In addition to
this vast army of prisoners Massachu
setts has 700 juvenile prisoners, while
New York has 3,070 and Ohio 1,530. Then
there are over 8,000 paupers in the four
states, besides the thousands that are
in private benevolent institutions. How
in the world do those states up north
support such a vast army of criminals,
pnuiiers, tramps and non-producers?
No wonder they want protection and
pensions; no wonder they plunder the
public treasury. They are obliged to
do it. Ninety per cent, of oil the money
that goes into it comes out into their
pockets in some way or other, nnd still
they are not happy; they want the other
ten.
But what is the relative condition of
the common people of the sections?
How about homes and mortgagee and
debts? Tt is the common people who
constitute a state or a nation. They
support it with their labor and defend
which presents an amusing picture of !
the old gentleman. He had charge of j
Turner gallery iu Queen Anne street,
London, where he caused many a :
vistor to stare at him with amazement. |
by his funny habit of jumping up and ,
down on his toes.
Soon after Turner moved toTwieken-
kum a friend met the old barber, walk
ing along Queen Anne street, looking
most disconsolate. The cost of riding
up every day to open the gallery
weighed upon him so that he could not
get the thought of it out of his mind.
A week later the same friend met the
old man again,and instantly discovered
that he was in high spirits.
“Why, look here,” said the elder
Turner, joyfully, “I have found a way
at last of coming up cheap from Twick
enham. I found out where the market
gardeners bated their horses, and I
made friends with one of ’em, and now.
for the price of something to wet his
whistle, he brings me up every day in
his cart on top of the vegetables!”
The peculiar amusement which the
painter derived from the sight of his
father, enthroned on a heap of vegeta
bles, can well be imagined. There was
warm affection between the two men,
in spite of occasional differences of
opinion, and when the father died >a
1830, Turner mourned his loss deeply,
and was so depressed in spirit that he
was unable to paint for two or three
J months. The old man was buried in
j Covent Garden church, and 1 Turner
i erected a monument there to the mem-
| oryof both father and mother.—Y’outh’s
i Companion.
GUN BOAT FOR NAVAL MILITIA.
had been robbed! Up the street the
stranger was walking as rapidly os he
could without attracting attention.
“He’s the thief!” said Miss Smith, and
without a thought for her own safety
she darted after him. She had the fore-
tbought to remove her eyeglasses, fear-
i::g they might be broken in. the prob-
Actlnfr Secretary Rooaevelt Expects
tu Give Our Citizen Sallum a limit.
Acting Secretary Roosevelt is consid
ering the advisability of assigning a
naval vessel to the exclusive use of the
naval militia of the country. He con
siders the naval reserves a most valu
able adjunct to the regular naval estab
lishment, and that better means should
be provided fur their instruction in the
arts of naval warfare, llis recent in
spection of the militia convinced him
of the necessity for a radical change
in the present methods of drills andex-
erciscs in order to render the men more
efficient in thedutiesthat woulddevolve-
upon them iu the event of war. He has
outlined a plan whereby a vessel of the
gunboat class will be assigned to work
with the reserves, spending the winter
mouths with the southern bodies and
the summer with the northern, thus
giving all organizations ample chance
to secure the benefits of training on
modern vessels of war. As the duties
of the militia in war time will be in
harbor work and on auxiliary cruisers,
such as the swift liners in the Atlantic
trade, it is urged that a vessel curry
ing the same armament that ships of
this class would have should be select
ed. This will not be difficult, owing to
the number of ships now available of
the type desired. The vessel for this
duty is to be of light draught in order
that she may ascend the shallow rivers
on the southern coast and can be read
ily handled in narrow waterways. —
Washington Correspondence, Military
Juzettc, Chicago.
Good a«d Mntllolrat Kcanom.
Mr. Harlemite, seeing a little boy
whom he knew crossing the street, he
taid to the youth:
“What’s the reason you carry such a
little can? Your growler used to be
Iwice as big."
“That’s because the barkeeper won't
!et us have any more beer on credit.
We has to pay cosh now. so we only
takes a pint.”-X. Y. World.
able struggle.
Unconscious of pursuit, the man hur
ried on. but suddenly he fe!ta hand on
hi* coat collar and a sharp tug from be
hind.
“Stop!”
It \'as only a slip of a girl who had
si ized him. It was her voice that called
j a halt. The man tried to breakaway,
; but two little hands seized his wrists
and held them like a vise. He was
j helpless. Miss Smith had caught him.
i “Help! help!” she screamed, beekon-
; irg to half a dozen workmen who were
j engaged on a new house up Ravine
i avenue. Not one of them stirred.
( "Help!" she screamed again. Thia
! time a young friend of the girl. Mis*
Bayne, ran to her aid. The two girls
seized the man. now fighting for lib
erty. and between them dragged him
j back to the Smith house.
“Please let me go, lady,” he begged,
when he found tight was useless. ‘Tve
got a wife and children in New York."
“No,” cried Miss Smith..“yon*ve com
mitted a crime and you’ve got to pay,
the penalty.”
The two girls procured a stout cord
and securely bound the thief hand and
foot. Then they wentthrongh his pock
ets and found all the solid silverware
that he had stolen from the Smith din
ing-room.
Just then the friend Miss Smith ex
pected arrived. He ran for the nearest
telephone, while Miss Smith and Miss
Payne dragged the thief into the back
yard and held him. Two policemen|
came soon and made short work of thej
young women’s prisoner.
The thief gave hi* name as Morris;
Abrams, of No. 84 Fast Broadway, New
Y'ork. He is a middle-aged man of!
medium height with a scowling face.
Miss Smith gave her testimony mod
estly but straightforwardly. Her eyes
snapped os she told of the man’s strug- 1
g!es to get away and of her contempt
for the men who wouldn’t come to her;
aid. •
“How did I feel ?” said she to a report-;
or afterwards. “Why, I never thought)
of the danger. I knew the man was a,
thief nnd I thought of nothing else but)
catching him. It never occurred to me;
that he might be stronger than I and
might kill me. But I’ve lost my faith in
men. I wonde-if they’re nil the same?"
Miss Smith is an earnest worker in
the First Methodist church. She is also
seen often in the boats of the Palisade
Rowing club.
Hot Water oa Tap.
Near Boise City, Idaho, 400 feet
low the earth’s surface, there is a sub
terranean lake of hot water of 170 de
grees temperature. It has pressure
enough to ascend to the top floor of
most of the houses, and will be pi
to them for heating purposes.
J
iped