Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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/ THE LEDGER: GAFFNEY, S. C., JULY 22, 1897. LITTLE SHORT ONES. film i inf? Sketches from Life Out Among the Folks. The Crave Which Tobe llnnmtn Dus »»Hh IMh Teeth—Col. Sum]) Wick- entun tie.M ••««’»—Free SII- ver (?uention. My grood old "rnndmoiher use to tell ajc when I was a boy that my maluest weak pint was right down there imme diately under the brow band cf my breeches- Now, to tell the unwashed truth, I do love to eat tremendius well. tVnd 1 do love te» see other people eat, and eat like they enjoyed the exercise. Way back there in tnyyouth- ful growdn days—when I was forever healthy and forever hungry—if all the men and women in the discovered world aad come and told me that a boy could ?at enough to kill him 1 never would af thought it. Hut, white people, I’ll be everlastingly whangdoodled if I don’t know it now. •‘Poor Jake! He’s dead.” And another one would come up and heave a long, deep sigh, am! shake his head and say: “Poor Juke! He’s dead.” \\ ell,t hi ngsw’ent on about that way for something like, two hours, till finally at last old man Hiram got sick and tired of henrin i he % same thing over and over and over. J5y and by another man come up sighin and sobbin and cryin like as if his heart would break, and re marked in conclusion that poor Jake was dead. And that was jest aluoutone too many for the old man. “Of course pore Jake is dead,” says old man Hiram. “Any blame fool— any native born idiot—could look at him and sec that. He died a most tre- mendious sad and orful death. He is dead. He is very dead. He is jest as dead as t hey ever make ’em. Hut who in the h—11 is disputin of it?” And that’s what makes me tell you what I do in regards to the hot weather and hard times. We are more than probable to ha\e hot \' eat her about this time of year, and we most in generally always have some hot weather along in the summer. Hut who in the thunder is disputin of it? HAD HER ON A STRING. Novel Idea Evolved by a Gallant Now York Wheelman. flow lie Helped a IMnmp Younu ’Wom an to Climb Steep HU!*—V Sbln- tna Example £or Spooney lllcycle Crunka. SAT ON A BEER KEG. POOR STREET LIGHTS. The Little Xew Grave. They tell me there is now a little new grave at the old Liberty church graveyard clown there in the Flat Woods, where they had soft singin arc! slow walkin one day last week for Dick lahson’s boy Tobe. What was ailin i’obe, you reckon? He didn't have the fever, nor the breakin out. nor the usual summer complaint. Ho didn’t have any reglar human disease. He had jest simply bit in and dug his own little ?rave with his own teeth, as it were. On Sunday—which was likewise the Fourth of July—Dick Hanson come up from the Flat Woods to see me and brung his boy Tobe along with him. The women folks put in they did and fixed up a most salubrious good dinner. Man, sir. there wns kitchen physic on the dinner table that day th r * very pearments of w hich would put a razor •dge on your teeth and make the salt water back tip in your mouth. And th»;re was a gracious plenty of it. Me and Dick and the rest of ns—eveeptin febe—all et hearty and quit and felt a whole passel better. Hut my me my! tt was it sight and it show to see that boy wade in and clinch up around a few sections of plain American grub. He was more than welcome to everything in sight, but yet still I wondered in my soul how he would ever manage to take it home with him. Now presently after dinner the. boy Tobe curled up on the floor and went to rollin and gruntin considerable. Anti by this time it was plain as daylight to 1 me that the onlyest way to move all that grub to the Flat Woods would be for Dick to put it in his one-horse A‘t-'on and haul it down there. They bad come up to pass the da}’and night with us. but under the general cir- sumference of the calamity I lowed it would suit me a whole lot better if Dick would bolt the convention and lake the boy and tne grub and go on back to the Flat Woods and hold a cau- ius w ith the family doctor. “You know I wouldn’t gay it if I didn’t think it. Dick, but your boy is a gone goslin,” says I. “He never can •ome across with his load. The dinner which he got on the outside of to-day would kill any livin human in the cre ated world. If you was to take the ?rub which that boy ct and put it in a croker sack I have some rale serious doubts if he could pick it up and put it on his back and tote it. He is tired now and sleepy too. I ain’t no doctor, and we are too scandalous bus}* with the crops right now to huye any funeral processions from our house. You bet ter put that grub in your wagon. Dick, and haul it down to the Flat Woods. The boy is bound to die.” So consequentially Dick took Tobe and the grub in his wagon and returned hack home. And then the next news wo got they had built a little pile of fresh dirt over there at old Liberty grave- lard and sung a song: "Safe from the world’s temptatfons. Safe from all doubts and tears.” I.lye llnnnel* and the Dazxard*. Down at Tucker’s mill on the Fourth of July we had a shootin match for beef, ami along with the rest old man Lige Funnels was there. “1 never could tell how it was that some people put me in mind of a lizzard till here last spring,” says old man Lige to me, between drinks, as it w ere. “Hut I went to town one day and got drunk. You will meet many a man in the coun try that wouldn’t tell you a plain. Hat- footed truth like that. Hut I raley did git drunk, Hufc—most hcllatiously drunk. And before 1 got home 1 fell oil my mule, and also fell asleep in a jam of the fence over there in Huther- ford’s lane. From the \iay in which the sun swung around and went down on me durin recess, it would seem like I slept there about three hours. And when at last I woke up a blamed old buzzard was sett in there on the fence lookin at me powerful hungry and familions like. I pinched myself to find out for certain whether 1 was dead nr not, ami about that time the buzzard Hopped his wings and Hew oil" to the swamp. “Jest a little too durn smart, says 1 to myself, but there arc plenty of peo ple in the world as smart as that buz zard, if not some smarter.” Who I* “DlMputiii of Ft?** Hot weather and hard times. That is ibout the onlyest news you can here in this pleasant strip of country now adays. The people talk some about the crops and the weather, the lag meeting and religious outpourins, but mostly about the tnvcltry hot weather and felonious hard times. Which that puts me in mind of a story. Did you ever hear tell of the time when Jake Halleutine got struck and killed by lightnin? That was years and years ago down there in the Fui.thcr creek settlement. One day Juke was plowin down in his new ground. A thunderln big storm come up, and he let loose nnd run under a tree to keep out of the ruin. About that time a streak of lightnin struck the tret* and run down to the ground. 1 never did hear anybody say whether it was a blue streak or a greasy streak.’ Hut any how, when the dust settled and tin: sinokecleared away Julie Rallentine hud throwed his hand the pack and went the way of nil human flesh. The news Spread fast and furious and the neigh bors come pilin In to sec the sad and awful sight. Now it come to past in the main time that old man Hiram Lucas was about tlie first man on the grounds. He was on his return back home from town, and ’’tanked up,” you understand, to about 72 cents in the dollar. He stood there by the shuttered remains of Juke Hal- lent ine, und saw the neighbors come and go. One man would come up w ith a long, •ad face und solenmeholy voice, and say: 1 “I’olj Jnk**! He’s dead.” Theft another would come along und g»ze n< the dead body, nnd thea hresh nwsy the tears and say: With HI* Color* On. Col. Sandy Wickenton runs the post office over on Huckleberry Ridge. Hut he took a few days off last week and went over in Tennessee to see the big show which the newspapers are tellin^ about. It come to pass that I met up with Sandy over at the station that day when lie took the ears for Tennessee. From his general appearments it would seem like he had becn.malyn special prepara tions for the trip. He was considera bly off considerable before he ever got off on the trip, you understand. He was talkin mighty loud with his mouth and ^pittin cotton right and left, lie had United States flags and blue bun- tin and red streamers on till you couldn't see his coat, and his face looked like a Fourth o’ July torch light procession. On his back he wore a piece of pasteboard as big us a saddle blanket, with these words printed there: “If it don’t get to Nashville inside of three days please send it bock to Huck leberry Ridge.” The assertion of doctors that bi cycling enlivens the mind as well as the body is often proved by the readi ness of thought exhibited by wheel men. If a pedal breaks, a chain snaps, or a tire is punctured, the unfortu nate oj-elist usually knows how to rem edy the trouble, and, if he doesn’t know, another wheelman is sure to come aloug who does, and in a few minutes the disabled wheel is ready for use again. So it is easy to overcome dis abilities of the wheel. To overcome in capacity on the part of the rider, though, has generally been found more difficult; and when the muscles refuse to do their work the wheels stop, and, for the time being, the rider’s cy clometer goes on strike. When a fellow takes his wife or sweetheart out on a tandem he will, of course, offer to do her share of the pedaling when there’s a long bill to climb und the fair one is unequal to the task.. But it happens that very few of the wheelwomen who are inadequate to hill-climbing are riders of tandems. They use bicycles built for one, and when hills or bad roads are encountered, the wheelwom- au who lacks strength or perseverance usually dismounts and trundles her wheel over the objectionable place, while her escort does likewise. That performance always entails a more or less serious impairment of the rider's dignity. Now, there’s a way to avoid all such discomforts, says the New York Sun. The idea may not be entirely new, but a good illustration of it was given last Sunday on. the road at Fort George. Sunday was a great day for the wheel, but the sun was pretty hot for vigorous exercise. At least, that seemed to be the view of a score or more of wind- women, who, with their male compan ions, leisurely dismounted at the foot, of a steep grade just south of Wash- Ilnunry Ape CnUMen n Commotion In It Dutch liouschoM. A few days ago the police station at Apeldoorn, in Holland, was telephonic- all}* informed, by a maiden lady of the name of Sprank that she, her two slit ters. all the maids, and the strarger within her gate had locked themselves up each in their own room, and were at present in terror of their lives by re.i son of “a man in the. kitchen.” The telephone w ent on to say that the bur glar in question had emptied the con tents cf the plate basket with a crash upon the ground, and that he seemed at present to he cooking something at the family stove. In consequence of this message three trustworthy agents of the Apeldoorn Suggest to Eil! Arp Possibilities of Bottling Lightning Buga Southern Philosopher DInciishcn Ihe Heated Spell nnd Drouuhl—Saf- JfeclnK of the Poor mid Their Hope. rn mil. St:,'; \ 1 rr U | TOLD HIM TO CO. t-A’ X\ !- >7|t ir-?5 SaTraraaeb The (Inentlon of Free Silver. Ain’t it plum inarvelsome what a whole tremendius big lot some people don’t know in regards to the question of free silver? Now as for me, 1 don’t try to make put like 1 know anything about it, and I lave now come to the conclusion that the common run of peo ple know as much about it as I do, and we all know as much about it as Andy Lucas and Blev Scroggins know about the Lord's prayer: Blev and Andy got into a little red hot private disputation on that pintoncst upon a time. “You don’t even, know the Lord's prayer, Blev,” says Andy. “\\Tio, me?” says Blev. “Of course I know it. I learnt that at my mother’s knee when I was nothin but a kid.” “Let you a dollar you can’t say it off hand,” says Andy. “I will take that bet and win on a dead cert: inty,” says Blev, nnd they put the money up. “Now go ahead, Blev, and let me hear you say it,” says Andy. Then Dlev he stared off with that beautiful little trundle-bed racket: “Now. I lay m^down to*!e''p, 1 gray Thee. Lord, my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake—” "Hold on right there, Blev,” says Andy. "I give it up. The money is yours nnd you cun take It, butl^ygat- lins I had no idea you knowed It.” RUPt’B 8ANDERB. Hkm Had Seventy Wive*. Living on the reservation in the Satis canyon, Oregon, is a toil, erect, bright- eyed and long-haired Indian who bus u wonderful matrimonial history. He is Chief Tanawashu, brother of Chief Moses, and in appearance in a typical member of his race. Tunnwushu is 73 years old, but shows no sign of break ing down, although he claims to ha vs had 70 wives, and Ids present spouse is a woman of .hut years. Grave of Lincoln's Mother. Gov. Mount, of Indiana, intends to give lUteation to the grave of Lincoln's mother ill that State us soon us possible. "1 have been at Mie grave,” h« nay*, "and it was in u very neglected condi tion—weeds growifrg over it and the half acre in which it in situated having a weird, uninviting look.” •A l.onw, Lome, Weary Harr. Qua—What’s the mutter, Jock? You look all worn out. Jack—I've l»een visiting a young couple with their first baby.—Yellow Kid Magazine^ HAD HEI* ON THE STRIN'O. ii.gton bridge. They appeared to be very much dissatisfied with the idea of .'saving to assist up u hill machines that were intended to render assitapeo. While the weary climbers were deplor ing hills generally and arguing that the law should not allow’ such things to exist, they saw two wheels flying up the grade at what appeared to be a 2:10 gait. The first wheel carried a man and the other a woman. The man was apparently short and thin, und wore an expression similar to that of a locomotive engineer who is trying to make up lost time. On the other hand, the woman behind him was plump and rosy-cheeked, and her smile, as she sped past lu r walking sisters, seemed to indicate that, for her, there was scarcely any difference between IfflF cliinbing und coasting. “Gracious! See there,” said one of the walkers. “I’d like to be as strohgas that woman.” “My! so would exclaimed a chorus of her companions. “She etmld do n double centuryvand pot half try.” "A double century!” said (mother. “Why, a girl who can scorch up a hill like this can ride across the continent in a week.” Then the pedestrian-cyclists ob served the flying pair more closely. "Oh, I’m onto the trick.'" volun teered a sharp-eyed girl. “Don’t yon see the line?” “What line?” ‘The line connecting the two wleels, of cout.se.” "Sure enough! that’s so; he’* got her on a string.” The secret was discovered. A .sinull gray line was strung from the saddle post of the head wheel to the steering post of the other, und the strain tipou the ifne drew it so Light that it wuS al most invisible tfi the naked eye. “Say, mUtei;, lake me bp along, too, will you?” "How much will you charge to tow us up?” “Do you make special rates for picnic and Sunday school parties?” were some of the ques tions that greeted the cars of tne 111 tie man ahead. Hut he was too much en gaged with propelling his burden to think of milch else, and he darted down the other side of the hill before his crit ics fully realized what they had seen. It is safe to soy. however, that the oc currence gave the young women who aaw it something to think about, and their cycling escorts aren’t likely to have so cosy a time of it on their nfc*t trip us they have hud heretofore. Illvirest Ha by la the Went. The biggest balby in the west is fctfln babbit. Kho lives with her parents at No. 30 Prospect avenue, Kansas City, Kan. Zella Is six years old. When she was bom ahe weighed 5^ pounds. Now she Weii ha 1M, nnd is in fine health and as lively as any girl ofhfrr ige anywhere, ghe is now 23 tnohea tali. When she vms three years old shn weighed 85 pounds. After that age she took on flesh rapidly. j.ast moftlh afi« gained 20 jxiundt. police took their revolvers and sabers and marched to the assistance of the Misses Sprank. They found, after forc ing a shut! er and getting into the kitch en, that something was certainly cook ing on the stove, for certain meats had been burned to a cinder. These, how ever, were merely tin* fragments of the servants’ supper, which had been pre paring when the domestics fled before the footsteps of the unseen invader. On the ground they also discovered the forks and spoons and the emptied plate basket, but the kitchen itself was void of any burglarious body. Then the Apeldoorn agents drew their swords, prepared their lanterns and de scended into the. beer cellar. Here they caught the malefactor. Looming up in the darkness was a large beer barrel, and seated solemnly on the beer barrel was a very small ape, with the frag ments of a loaf of bread by its sick*, its attitude suggestive of peace at last and blissful repose, lie; had not tapped the beer. As the burglar entirely refused to leave the barrel of his own free will, he was ehrried ups’airs, and, after living securely strapped down, wheeled off to the police station. The appearance of a small ape in a child's carriage, sur rounded by armed guards, is an un usual one for a peaceful cr.untry town, bu* the iionc\ was kept down and the station safely reached. The ape was eventually restored to its home — a small traveling menageriw DISARMED A TRAMP. I 8 i I a (MA/P/ wvjA'r ’ y/. y/A .:.y & Cournip* ni*i»lnyed by n l>ruv« Lit tle St. I,oiif* Lady. Mrs. George B. Swaflfcml, of St. Louis, Mo., found a tramp in her woodshed preparing to carry away the garden rake and other movables. When he drew a revolver she took the weapon from him and drove him away. She holds the revolver as a trophy. She is the wife of I'rof. Swafford, of the manual training school. 'Washing ton university, and is culled petite. "When I approached the tramp,” she THE BURGLAR. Buyn, ’’lx; told me to stand back. But I didn’t. Then he drew his si*vqlvc,r and, pointing it at me, said if 1 didn’t marry lum he would shoot me. I only laughed ;y»d advanced. Before he. knew What I was going to do I took tfie pistol, then the rake, and, pointing the pistol, told him to go, nnd he went.” The Tyranny of Oaalom. The routine of the government has its effect on high and low alike in tlie federal service. One of the employes under tin- white house gardener is as signed to the duty of watering the flowers und lawn in front of the man sion at u certain hour every afternoon. It was raining hard at the regular time the other day, but the assistant gar dener followed custom. He calmly ar ranged a hose, indifferent to the down- liour, and then walked aroufid the flow er beds sprinkling the drenched plants. Milk and Trout Story. A few days ago Mr. ami Mm. (*un- nlngliHin went In a canoe fishing on Hie Moose river, at* Kineo, Me., where Mr. Cunningham hooked u big trout. After nonsldemblc effort he got the fish to the side; of the fnont and Mrs. (’unning- ham slid a net under it, and just ns she did so a mink leaped from the shore after the trout and lauded in the nri, in whicji the trout and mink became UvTly entangled, requiring over an hour to separate them. I wonder if there is a town or city it: the world whose gaslight andi water works satisfy the people. I know that it is chronic to complain of corpora tions, but 1 am obliged to consitier my self an injured person. Almost every night I have to go downtown to help nurse and comfort a little sick child who is very dear to me, und, although the street has a gaslight, J collide with something or somebody or fall into a ditch every dark night 1 travel. I ran against a big fat negro woman the other Light, and she used disrespect ful language at me. Last night 1 had in my hand a bucket of blackberries that my daughter gave me, amL 1 fell over a stepping stone and spilt them all and skinned my aged shins and dropped my cane, and it took me some time to find it. I’ve a good notion to bring suit for damages and have at re ceiver appointed. That so-called gas light does not throw its effulgent rays a hundred feet, and is not lighted, more than half the time, and, now that light ning bugs have come again, I think the company ought to catch some and put them iu a bottle and do away with the gas. - Hut I don’t ste any sense n hav ing gas with the lamp posts a quarter of a mile apart. We don’t want to car ry lanterns nnd pay for gas, too. That's all I’ve got to say about tins gas busi ness, and my folks have hinted that the fault is more in my eyes and my k gs than in the dim, religious light, but l know better. I am not on the superannuated list by a good ^ea!. I work every day in my garden and get all in a sweat of perspiration, and then clean up and feel good and honest. The long drought hurt me pretty bad, but tin* garden survived it, and now we have vegetables abundant. The waterworks man never caught n;e stealing more than my share of water but once, and Ik? didn’t make much of a fuss about it. He is a very considerate man. Up north the companies put meters at every con sumer’s residence and he pays for what he uSes, but we hove got more water here than the town can use, and don’t have to be stingy. What a blessed thing it is! Water, plenty off w ater! Water in the kitchen and at the hack door and ip the front yard end th©.garden, Toedue noafhtub upstairs and down stairs. Pure water, fresit from a big spring that gushes from the. hillside. No river nor pond nor reservoir nor filtering machines nor microbes nor bacilli. Nowell rope tobreak norwind- Jas« to get loose and knock one of the children in the head. No cleaning out and finding dead chickens that we had been drinking on. The fact is. I never knew the comfort of wtter, abundant water, until we planted our waterworks ih Cartersville. Strange to say. they never came until we abolished whisky —that is, the saloons. A great English poet nnd jurist says: “Its cool refresh ment drained by fevered lips gives, pleasure more exquisite than neefareen juice,” and Coleridge’s sum of human agony was to have "Water, water everywhere, But not a drop to drlr.R.” During the late long heated term in June it was alarming to read from the weather bureau that the world was slowly but surely drying up, and the rainfall was decreasing every year. What an awful calamity is to come to somebody some time! God grant that it may not come in our day, nor our children’s nor children’schildren! God grant that it may not come at all! Put the Scriptures do say that this world shall be burned up, and I heard Prof. Proctor, the great astronomer, deliver a lecture on the “Birth, Growth, Ma turity, Decay and Destruojioq of a World” that made the hair almost stand on end, for he proved that the world had passed its meridian and was new- on a rapid dow n grade of decay. “Rap id. rapid, did I say? Yes, rapid for a planet, but it may be a million years distant.” That let us down easy, and tl at night the young people danced and the sports played poker as usual. Just postpone the judgment out of sight, am. human nature will take tho chances. Hut the blessed seals that hold the rain in the heavens have at last been opened, and once more man and beast and nature rejoice in a temperate-at mosphere and a moistened earth. It was distressing tt> read of the sun strokes and the suffering in the. great cities and to think of the little innocent children and the invalids in the garrets and crowded rooms of the tenement houses. Oh. when will the good'things of this world* be equally apportioned? Many of us. have far more than our share, but we are still ungrateful and long for more. My opinion ia that, in dependent of all revelation, there i* obliged to be another life in another world just to equalize things. "Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime re- eeivedst pood things und Lazarus evil things, but no>v Lazarus is comforted and thou art tormented.” That is a good text for us all to ruminate about once or twice or thrice in awhile. I tell you, my friends. It is a fearful thing to be rich and selflah. I’m afraid to risk it. Put sometimes I do catch my self w ishing that I had a rich old bach elor to die nnd leave me a pile of money to frolic with in my old age. Or that Mrs. Arp would realize her part of that Holt estate in England. Good gracious! she should have a enrriugv and a pair of Kentucky bays before next .Sunday to ride to church. Put it is an old proverb that If wishes were horse* we would all take a ride. And there is an old JVrslan fable that tells us how an old man was always wishing tor something and one night as he and his cld wife were brooding over their poverty and wishing for diitcreut things ) gotiius ’ame in and told them they might have throe wishes and he would grant them. Jf course they were happy bej oed ex pression, and cs the old man was hun gry he wished right away for a plum pudding. Immediately, it was set be- "ore him in a silver platter, and this* foolish wish made the old woman so mad that site exclaimed: "I wish that t was hung on your nose." Presto! Flick the pudding jumped up and was 'astened to the old man’s n< »e. They lad but one wish left, and ihe old man had to use that in wishing the pudding loose again. And so the good genius left them ns poor as thev were before became. I suppose that fable was de signed to teach us that it is belter to trust the Lord and be content with our lot. Nevertheless, most of us would try the genius if he would come. Once more let me write of John 'Juincy Adams and his beautiful poem. 1 have deceived* it from just a score of good friends, but only two of them have the full poem of twenty stanzas of eight lines each. Some of them have 14. some 12, nnd one only 11. One from Mrs. Holloman, of Eatonton, has not the last stanza, beginning: “Those are the wants of mortal man, I cannot need them lonp.” But has instead a stanza that I do not find in any other copy. Which is the revised version I do not know. The poem is remarkable not only for its thought and felicity of expression, but because its author, “the old man elo quent,” was the only president who ever wrote a poem, or even a verse, so far as we know. As some of the lady correspondents have suggested that Goldsmith was the author of the lines: “Man wants hut little here below. Nor wants that little long.” Let me say that Yourg preceded Go’d- mith It years, and his expression is: "Man wants but little, nor that little •ong.” Goldsmith only added a word or two to make the measure fit his ballad. -Bill Arp, in Atlanta Constitution. PA WAS IN TIME. I’rrveutcd HI* lloy from Itclni; Cuji- lurctl liy Ihe l)<**Ii;nlni; Widow. Hand in hand they strolled through the fields toward the upland pastures, where he told her they would be able to see for ’miles and miles along the beautiful shore of the lake, with its villas here and there, its resorts along the beach and the little, white towns dotting the green stretches and helping to form a panorama whose equal was not to be found upon the continent. "lAnd so you loved 1 me from the very first moment that you ever saw me?” ?he saidj with a radiant look upon her jivveet, freshly-caleimincd countenance. “From the very first moment,” he fervently replied. t He was young and unused to that sort of thing. Young, inexperienced fellow s always become ferv ent when women who know things look into their eyes and sigh. “Ah, you trifier!” she oaid, with a pout. “Darling,” hecried, “do not say that! i'ou know that I nm fearfully in ear liest. Ah, how terribly in earn—” Put he had been gazing so intently at her tbnt he had not seen the ant full in his path. After she had helped topick the burrs out of his hair he wenton: "Do not say that I trifle! No mart was ever more in earnest than Tam now. Do not judge me by others. Was your first husband cruel toyou?” Her gaze rested upon the turf and <he was silent for a moment. Then, with an.effort, she replied: “Yes, he was very, very cruel.” “Ah, the wretch!” exclaimed the young man. "I cannot conceive of any one being unkind to you. It seems to me as though even the birds of the air and the> beasts of the fi"ld must wor ship you. In what way was he cruel?” “Oh, in a hundred ways,” she said, with another sigh, "but. let us not talk of him. Let us only be happy w ith each other and enjoy the beauties of nature that are spread out before us. Do you know that I think you are the hand somest man I have ever seen?” No woman hud ever before called him i man. and a thrill of ecstasy passed through him. He was ready to full down at her feet and. worship her, but he had already lest one suspender but ton. and therefore dared not assume the risk. At lust he said: "Darling, let us be married at once. Do not compel me to wait until fall.” “Ah. you foolish man!” she replied; “why are you in such a hurry?’’ “I can't live without you.” he an- r.wcred. “Say that you will not compel pie to wait.” “Well,” she said, with great reluc tance, “if you insist upon hurrying. I suppos I must humor you. How would a week from next Thursday i iiit?” He was unable to caM-b his ).**■» nfh for a minute, but when he did so he said: “Ah, you darling! You dear girl! flow good of you!” Then they stopped’ nnd hugged and kissed each other, and might be at it yet but for the fact that his big. un sentimental father popped out of a fence corner and grabbed the boy by the nape of the neck and whisked him almost out of his knickerbockers. When the “dear girl” recovered from her sarpriseshe w as alone, and the next time she met her “trifier" he hud w his kers and three ehildren. Also a pretty well-grounded idea that he had once come within an nee of making u Idoom- ng fool of himself.—Ole vein nd Leader. At l.nncbecn. Mr*. Lofty (proudly)—These spoons were handed down to me by my great grandmother, who died and went to Heaven 20 year* ago. Mrs. Sticker—Goodness me! And do you really mean to tel! me that they use plated good* up there? N. Y. Jour nal. Dlria’t Like Ihe Title. A clergyman named Fiddle refused to accept the title of l>. 1L, because, bo said, he didn’t want to be railed the Her. Ichalod Fiddle, D. D-Tit Bits. r