The weekly ledger. (Gaffney City, S.C.) 1894-1896, December 24, 1896, Image 3
THE LEDGER: GAFFNEY, S. C., DECEMBER 24, 1890.
3
k
ON HUCKLEBERRY RIDGE.
b Story of Ono “Bad jxnd Orful’*
Chriatmaa Day.
Trials and Tribulations That Hcfcll n Tan-
ther Creek I*oy — kittle f?teer Hrln-
dle, Ki d I.rather Shoos and a kong-
Tall 'IViiuhL'stcr Coat.
>’is
Stories I have told now and then—
■lories on top of stories — but if
iny r c in c ni -
bmnee ain’t
dead wrong I
never did tell
you Ilrit Fos
ter’s Christmas
story in regards
to his little
steer by the
. irj name of Brtn-
v > dle » h 1B r c ,l
L mN \ : leather shoes
' «"d W» lone-
tail Winchester coat. Many and many’s
the time I have heard Urit tell that
story, which at the same time, you un
derstand, it was the unwashed truth—
and I have laughed and laughed till by
gracious I would ache all over in spots
as big ns a saddle blanket.
But Brit he never could And where
the laughin part conic in. With him
it was “a passle of meet hellatious sad
and solcmcholy facts in history.”
••The Man and the Surroundlas Mot.”
Hit was way out there in the Ban
Handle country of Texas, in a town
bv the name of Vernon, one Christmas
•
eve night, where me and Brit met up
together the last time in this vain and
flcetin world below. Seven long years
had then come and went since me and
.him had shook hands aerost the bloody
chasm of the piust. There was n warm
and hearty “howdy Bufe” and “howdy
Brit,” and that night when we fell in
with the town gang around a blnzin
good tire in the back room—all hands
braced up to about six bitn in the dollar
and mellow onto the occasion—I lowed
to Brit that the man and the surround-
ins had met oncst more—that the day
hour hud now come for him to
t c ]\them Texas fellows about the sad
and n£I rddc Christmas which he had
Bjicnt onTTI^il 10 back there in the states
in durin of our an(1 better days.
Well, as usual, Brit puTTc??- ±t n the bits
considerable, but under the geiaTJOj^
pressure of the surroundin circum
ference he finally at last give in and
come forth with that famous chapter
from our local history.
“TreroemUuii Bad Wherefore#.”
"Bits been so monstrous long ago,
Rtife.’nnd the whence ness and the
where fores thereof are so tremendius
rod unto iny wanderin thoughts till
dnrned if 1 don’t raley hate to tell the
truth whilsthlstory repeats herself. Hit
wr.s the ups and donna, the trials and
tribulations of that orful day, Bufe,
which driv me away from the old home
^•hore I had spent the golden days of
Jfetoyhood. 1 lit was 1 he seandlousscrape
brnng down on me by that little scrub
steer of mine, Brindle, them red
leather shoes and that infernal long
fail coat, which took me as a green and
tender boy. fresh from the woods and
hills—with the dew drops and the liay-
ired in my hair—throwed me out into
the cold world alone and made me what
you see and what 1 am to-night—a gam
bler which has hot his pile on two pair,
queens up, as it were, whilst the other
man holt four aces or a straight flush.”
••Over on Iluetilrbcrry ItUljc.”
“Ton must recoil-ct, Bufe, that In
them plain ok! days some of (iod’s own
people lived right down there in the
Banther Creek settlement. Most in
generally rpcakin they Ix lorgcd to the
ftld School I'nptk t.v (!cd ftnrin, debt
payin, dram drinkin,democratic people.
Bnt they were pore, Bufe, most holla-
tlous pore—which I always did main
tain they didn’t mean ro harm by that.
And let me tell you, fellow citizens,
money was money then, and it took
foinc tall seratchin and starvin stlntin
t* pay off the feed hills and keep up
with the store account. Consequential
ly as you no doubts recollect, Bufe, In
onr young and gallin days the where
withals and raiments with which I
clothed iny awkward body were the
plainest and but blame few at that.
Now I can remember the skecrce on 1
ronnty manner of my dress the same as
if it was but only yesterday. Honest to
Coil, fellow citizens, I was pat-sin out
from boyhood into manhood with w his
kers sprout in on iny face and women
brarin on my mind before I ever climcd
up on the inside of a full suit of clothes.
In the summer lime I had to wear a
long tail homespun shirt, and in the
winter it w as that same long tall shirt
spliced out below with n pair of wool
nooks to keep my wayward feet from
freezin slap off.
“But finally at last I was feelln my
oats so promiscus and plentiful till
nothin would do hut 1 must go out
amongst the female generation. In the
main tim? old man Larry Benton was
llvin over there on Huckleberry Bidgc
and raisin of a tremendius large and
lovely crop of girls. And it did look to
me like of all the places In the discov-
tred world for a youngster to go and
have n high heel good time that was
Ihc mnincst place. But from that
bright day down uiwo thlshlessed hour,
fco fur as anybody knows, I never have
been caught foolin and fmnblin around
ivlth a ixissle of gay and gorgeous girls.
By gatlins, I give cm all the road now
till they git broke and bridle wise and
tpdt pnllln on the bit. Anyhow, after
•tiiyln wake of nights for a week—
winstlin with the question which would
be the best, to go or not to go—thinkln
■bout that drove of girls over at old
men Larry's, and plckln out the prit-
Meat one In the pack for my own and
onlyPHt sweetheart—I lowed that I
would go. Aftertliat the mnincst thing
w ith me wan the viggina and the flx-
menti to put on.”
pair of new coperas breeches for Sun
day,” Brit went on, “and along indurin
of the week I had took and swapped a
right tolerable good fiddle to Lum
Hankins for a long tail black coat—a
reglnr Winchester, ns Aunt Liza Hal-
born use to say—and six bits to boot.
That want no rale, genuine, store
bought coat, you understand. From the
best of my recollection I reckon Lum
Hankins must of got it made outen'onc
of his mother’s old black dresses. But
at any rates it was a regkir calf w iper,
wind splitter and earth sweeper. But
the general style and cut of my shirts
was so infernal broad and long and
full and bountiful like till durned if
I had room enough to wear one with
my coperas breeches—which they did
fit mo as snug as a bug in a rug—and
there I was, as the man says in the
■how.
“So whom Christmas oomo—It was a
worm and windy winter day—I climi
into my red leather shoes and thorn
coperas breeches, pulled on my long-tail
black coat and buttoned it up tight
and dost in front so nobody couldn’t
tell for certain that I did’t have no
signs of such a garment—tied a lovely
red handkerchief around inj' neck—
put on my hat, and sprinkled a few
cinnamon drops on my hair—hooked
up my little steer, Brindle, to the cart,
and lit out for Huckleberry Bulge with
the riggins and the flxments cm.
“Say, Bufe, don’t you remember that
blame little slab-sided, razor-back, wob-
bledy-legged steer, which I called his
name Brindle, and which I driv over
to Huckleberry Bidge that Christmas
day? Well, man, sir, Brindle went
all the gaits and worked anywheres,
single or double, and then he would also
do his level di:rudest to cat up every
thing In sight—from a hay stack to
a cord of gum stumps. 1
TESLA IS SKEPTICAL
i
Doos Not Doliovo tho X Ray Will
Enablo the Blind to Coo.
“A Mlg Scutt«-r»tlon.”
“When I driv <o the front gale at
old man Larry ton’s that Christ
mas moruin, by gollys, I was feelin
like n four-year-old shod all around,
with pocks in every foot. Bight then
I didn’t give a continential dam if tho
creeks all run up stream and meat
was goin at four bits a pound. 1 lit
out, I did, and roped Brindle to the
pulhis. By this time Uie girls had
caught sight of me and here they come.
They were nil monstrous glad to see
me, and I was more than proud to meet
V^tUjhcm one sit more. In my l»old and
recklessniukI ondifferent way I then
leant up agi/N Hie gate, whilst the girls
they clustered arSmml me like bees
n.iound a molasses jiig; and wc pitched
in to have a roglar Christmas confabu
lation jest amongst us gals, as it IVgre.
Everybody was bavin sich a. felonious
good time till I couldn’t take notice
of anything but the fenuile generation.
By and by the girls they got to gigglin
and goin on at a seandlous lick. And
me, like a dad-burned idiot, l thought
was all because Christmas had oome
oncst more, whilst the air was full of
music and the turkey iuthe|>ot. Aliout
that time I felt somethin biowin his
warm breath on the bock of my neck,
and when I turned round to see what
was goin on, dura my eats if Brindle
hadn’t chawed out a full section of my
long-tail coat, right up and down the
lack from collar to hem. Rightabout
then a high we h wind sprung up be
hind, and Jest naturally (.bucked oil
my coat, and hlorwed it clean out into
the middle of the big roue!.
“Now, white people, if anybody ever
heard tell of a tremendius confusion-
men t and mighty seatteration, we had
it right over there on Huckleberry
Bidge that Christmas mornin. The
girls they blushed and laughed and
screamed ami made a dash for the house,
whilst l lit into my cart, poured the
whip to Brindle and wo burnt tho wind
for home.”
Some InteroitMn^ F.wln O'otetned l>y tlio
Electrician from UN I ntvxt I’.xperl-
mentft—Manuract’jro of Fer
tilizer* by Electricity.
Electrical Review publishes an ex
haustive communication from Nicola
Tesla on his latest experiments with the
X rays. Tesla states that the sunburn
effects noted by many experimenters
■re not duedirectly to the raysor Roent
gen streams, but to the ozone gen
erated by the rays in contact with the
skin. He says:
“Nitrous acid may also be rospons'ble
to a smaJl extent. The ozone, when
abundantly produced, attacks the skin
and many organic substances most en
ergetically, the action being no doubt
hastened by the heat and moisture of
the skin. Owing to this, I have always
taken the precaution when getting im
pression with the. rays to guard the
persons by a screen made of aluminium
wireo, which arc connected with the
ground, preferably through a con
denser. The rad leal means, however,
of preventing such actions is to make
impossible tho access of the air to the
skin while exposing, ns, for instance,
by immersion in oil.”
The Inventor has the following to say
in regard to recent alleged experi
ments for making the blind see by
means of Roentgen ray*: “Is it not
cruel to raise such hopes when there is
so little ground for it ? For, first of nil,,
the rays are not demonstrated to be
transverse vibrations. If they were,
we would have to find means for re
fracting them to make ]>osr,ible the pro
jection of a sufficiently small image
upon the retina. As it Is, only a shadow
of a very small object can lie projected.
M’hnt possible good can result from the
application of these rays to such pur
poses?”
Tesla points out n possible method of
manufacturing fertilizer by electricity
in the following Interesting language:
“With currents produced by jH'rfect-
ed electrical oscillators the produc
tion of the ozone is so abundant that it
is sufficient to merely turn on the cur
rent for a few seconds and ozonize
strongly the atmosphere cf a large.hall.
The»e currents are also capable of
bringing about chemical combinations,
of which the chief is tlmtof the nitro
gen with the oxygen of the atmosphere,
and an immense possibility, which I
have been following up for a long time,
is opened up, namely, the combination
of the nitrogen of the atmosphere on
fijv. industrial scale by practically no
other ir.?ans than mechanical power. If
merely fert/J'^ers of the soil would lie
manufactured in *bis manner the bene
fits to humanity ir-^ved therefrom
would bo incalculable.”*
SAYS HIS FACE EXPLODED.
New Onnser from Cold In tho Iloa-.l D)»-
oovered In Now York.
If there l>o anything in the discovery
which Eric Brermnnn, a night watch
man in New York city, alleges he has
made, suffering humanity is liable ton
now and horrible danger whenever It
catches a cold in the head.
You may be walking along, annoyed
by a stopimgr of the nostrils and thouc
ether annoying feelings, when cudden-
ly your omnium will swell to twice
its normal size and then.—bang—your
countenance will fly away in half a
dozen ragged fragments. That Is whnt
he told Policeman Khutor had happened
to him when fouml tho other morning
in Williama street.
The Hist thing the policeman no
th cd about Brcrtnann wa* the anor-
mous size of his head, which, as he de
scribed it, waa iia big as ■ lion’B, with
a shaggy gray beard. The w atchman’s
under lip wa« cut away with pretty
nearly the whole of his right cheek.
His left eye was closed by a great
swelling, and there were several deep
cuts acrorn the face.
“Who hit you?” asked the policeman.
“Nobody,” said the old man, with a
strong Herman aceenL “Nor I didn’t
fall down, neither. I was just walking,
when my face swelled up with a cold
and exploded.”
Brermnnn ic a w idower, living in a
furnished room, which he rents from
Mrs. Pitzel at 27 Frankfort street.
Khc sold that he suffered much from
nose-bleed and always said that it came
from exploding veins in his head. His
condition is serious, but he will prob
ably recover.
WOLVES DESTROY CATTLE.
METHODIST PREACHERS.
CALIFORNIA GOLD PRODUCTION. ADS 1 A,NS AWP Wlf<S ®^ 00 0-
“That Had and Orful l»ay.**
With that I laughed ns I had laughed
a hundred times before at Brit Foster
and his Christmas story. And as for
them Texas fellows, they laughed and
laughed till they jest naturally had to
lay down and roll over in it. But Brit
never could, find where the laughin
part come in, and there was a far-away
solcmcholy look on his face as he
breshed the tears from his cyea and
went on with the story:
“When I got back home I up and told
my Uncle Griffin—which you remem
ber, Bufe, iny own dear father was
dead and gone then, and me and moth
er wo hail went to live with Uncle Grif
—I told him what had come to pass
and bantered him to buy iny little steer
Brindle. He laughed, at me till it was
a sin and a .vcundalation, but I finally at
last hnrnsnoggled him into a trade and
cold him Brindle for seven dollars and
uix hits ($7.25), spot cash.
“That night I packed up a little wal
let which belt all I hod in the way of
( his world’s goods except in t he torn
and tattered remains of that durned in
fernal old long tail Winchester coat,
slipped out of tho back window and
down through the orchard and run
away from home. Tho next day I made
't to Belle’s Landin down on the Ala
bama river and there I struck a steam
boat goin to Mobile. I up and told the
captain all about the orful time I had
the day before over on Huckleberry
Bidge, and soon ns he could stop laugh-
in long enough he told me if I would
promise to tell my troubles to the crowd
on the boat he would let mo ride with
him to Mobile free gratis for nothin.
That was a sad and terrible thing for
me to tell, hut money was money then,
and the captain was traded with on
tho spot.
“When I struck the city I waa a
plum show to them town folks, and
somehow the gamblers they took to me
»s quick and natural ns a sick kitten to
a pan of sweet milk. In the run of
time I fell in, and learnt the game and
went to gal lop! n with the gang. Some
times the documents have come my
way, Bufe, anil sometimes -they have
run from me like a shot. But necordin
to what the Scripture says, everything
that goes up must come down.
RUFUS SANDERS.
Value of tho Oatpnt In I'lguml at Nearly
One ami n Half lillllon of Dollars.
Charles G. Yale, statistician of the
California state, mining bureau, has
compiled a statistical review of the gold
production of California from 1848 to
18t>5, inclusive. Mr. Yale gives not only
hia own estimate of the production, but
that of each of nine recognized authori
ties, affording a valuable comparison
of data. Mr. Yale has adopted an the
! basis of his own statistics the statistics
compiled by Louis A. Garnett and the
United States mint director’s report as
being the most correct and complete of
any extended continuousMatemenL In
a note to his table he says:
“A table made up of the separate es
timate of Blake in the Tenth census.
Page. 3S0; of Raymond in the United
States mining commissioners’ report of
1873, Page 543, and of John J. Yah n-
t in<*, of Wells, Fargo & Co., added toget h
er, make a total to.Januury 1,1896,of$l,-
260,091,886, while that compiled by Yale
from the estimates of Garnett and tho
United States mint feports of January
1, 1896, make a total of $1,265,217,217.
There is, therefore, only a difference in
the two set« of estimates of $874,669,
which is remarkably close.
“The authorities quoted by Mr. Ynlc
are: J. D. Whitney, J. Rossbrowne, J.
Arthur Phillips, United States mining
reports; W. P. Blake, B. W. Raymond,
.1. J. Valentine, L. A. Garrett and the
United States mint reports.”
SPANISH BULL FIGHTS.
Consul-General Ilowon Reports They Aro
More Popular Than Ever.
Consul General II. \V. Bowen, in u
report to the deportment of state on
“Spanish bull fights,” says that during
the season—April 5 to October 20, 1396
•-there were 478 bull lights in Spain.
During this period 1,218 build, valued
at $300,000, and 5,730 horses, valued at
$200,000, were killed. The number of
“matadors” was 23, and they received
for their services $221,500. The less re
nowned fighters received from $300 to
$400 for each fight, while the most re
nowned received from $500 to $8,500
The famous “Guerrita” appeared in 68
fights, killing 174 hulls and received
$51,000. “Bombita” fought 43 times,
killing 112 bulls and was paid $21,000.
“Mazzantini” entered the ring 29 times,
hilling 08 bulls and made $21,700.
Consul Bowen says that it cannot bo
true that the interest in bull-fighting
Is diminishing; on the contrary, it
seems even more intense tlian ever.
Petrlfleil FUh In Wyoming.
For a score of years geologists have
known of the ex Is tone of immense beds
of shale in Wyoming, whichceasionally
have yielded lino specimens of fossil
shell fish, hut it is only recently that
similar beds have lieen discovered In
Colorado. These is-ds of petrified fish,
containing millions on millions of in
dividual specimens, cover hundreds of
square miles in the northwestern part
i of the state.
Sam Jonoa Gives Us n Glimpse of
Their Lives.
Th« Annual Confercnco—Tlirro Kind* of
Pastor*—“Gum Log*" In the Church
— What Make* an EIToctlve
Minister.
Owners of tho Rftisgtvi West of tho Ml*-
Hour! Ask Protection of tho Stats.
Cattlemen in the bad lands section
of tho great entitle range west of the
Missouri river in 8>.uth Dakota l av*
decided to ask a'.d of the state legis
lature in ridding the region of the
gray wolves which continue to do great
dan.age to their herds. The catth men
in a scope of country extending 45 or
50 miles along White r.vor, and Lock
from that stream a distance of 25 miles
to the head of Bad river, some time ago
formed an organizat’on. having for its
object the suinlhJki’tian of gray wolves,
upon which u bounty of eight dollars
ynch was offered by live outthm.en.
Tho fund used for this purpose was
raised by assessing members of the
organization two cents (T.cli for each
animal owned by them. During the
past senaou three assessments have
been levied upon the members of the
organization, but there has lieen no
[apprcciablo deorcr.se. in tiie number
>»f wolves that Infest the territory.
This has boeom* burdensome to the
cattlemen, and tin* state will now be
asked to assume the burden and protect
the cattle Interests.
C'onj;n Humjvn Southwlck Make* a Nsvcl
YVaycr ami Comes Out AhoaU.
C-eorgc N. Southovick, member of
congiVw from the Albany (X. Y.) dis
trict, hits lust won a wager of $2,000 by
i.lsstaitting torn liquor for one year.
Mr. Southwic\wnK warned by Anthony
X. Brady, one of tjje wealthiest citizens
of Allxuiy, on Novt^nber 25, 1895, that
the. allurements of Washington life
might prove too strong lor him to resist,
l«rtieularly In the matto^-xof indul
gence in strong drink. BantiS; nnd re
partee among several gentlemrh pres
ent led to a declaration by the rcpriv'T.-
tatlvc that It would not he a particle of
trouble for him to never drink another
drop. Mr. Brady promptly offered to
bet him $2,000 lie could not abstain for
one year.
The wager waa taken, and in addition
several side wagers were made by Mr.
Louth wick's friends both for and
against hia ehancesof success. One of
these was laid by Mr. Brady with
Eugene D. Wood, tho amount lieing
$5,000 to $3,000 that the representative
would fail. Although the temptations
have been many, Mr. South wick comes
out a winner by $2,000 and Mr. Wood by
$5,000.
AIRSHIP TRIP TO HONOLULU.
Ban Jonc (Cal.) Man A«t(ts a Chapter to
Aerial K*' i£ntlon I.lteratnro.
John A. Heron, an electrician of Snn
Jose, Cal., tolls of an airship etory
which is admitted to be the bent to
date. Heron is the patentee of an elec-
trio platinum sinking apparatus. He
says he went to Fan Francisco the
other day by appointment to sec the in
ventor of the airship Apparatus, whose
name he says he is pledged to conceal.
Heron adds:
“We went on horsebnek to a point *n
the sandy beach where the airship was.
We got alxiard, and rose very high.
The height wan registered by a meter
on the ship. Tha Inventor does not
count distance by miles, bnt by degrees.
We traveled westward, and before day
break we saw lights, which the bivent
er said were Honolulu lights. We then
turned cast, and at dusk on Saturday
evening wc finished our two-days’
cruise and hinded near the starting
|k)!nt.
“The airship rose by means of two
proiiellers. The movement was noise
less and swift. It can lie stopped and
held stationary In the air, and descends
light os a feather. The motive power is
neither steam nor electricity."
Cnlted Ulktes Ktcet.
Mulhall says the United States pro
duces one-third of the steel manufac
tured In the world.
Too Fs*t f«r a ftwnllnw.
A swallow Is considered one of the
fastest cf flying birds, and It was
thought until recently that no Insect
could escape It, A raturnlisttellsof an
exciting chase he saw lietwcen a swal
low and a dragon fly, which Is among
the swiftestof insects, the hitter finally
’scaping.
Salt Makes Thick I.caves.
Plants growing’ near the tea have
thicker leaves than those growing in
land. Apparently the sea salt is tho
cause of this phenomenon, ns plants
cultivated In nrtlfleaUy-salted soil yield
thicker leaves.
The annual gathering of the Norih
Georgia conference bins just closed its
session at Dalton, and when 1 got on
board the truin yesterday in my town
for Atlanta I found a train load of
Methodist preachers—a jolly, hearty,
noble company of men homeward
Isjund from the session of their coufer-
enee^some to move to new fields of labor
and oome to go buck to their old lieldR.
No Methodist preacher’s appointment
to any pastorate lusta longer than 12
months. Their term of office expires
every 12 montho—every year—and they
are either removed or reappointed to
the same work. This fact keeps up the
interest in t hese annual gatherings.
Kvcry Methodist preacher attends his
conference if he has to borrow the
money to pay his fare or walk. They
look forv ard to their annual conference
when they shall all he united socially
and religiously again. Methodist
preachers are very fond of each other’s
company. A fellow feeling makes them
wondrous kind. After the roll coll at
the beginning of their annual session
the regular routine of business begins.
Each Methodist preacher’s character is
passed, one after another, if there is
nothing against him. There is no
church that guards the character of
her preachers more than the Methodist
church. The fact that, he is a Methodist
preacher is pretty good proof that he
Is all right. If there is any report
against him his case is referred to a
committee, and if there be any grounds
for the rejiort, specific charges are pre
ferred against him. Now and then a
Methodist preacher is arraigned for
heresy, or for insubordination, and oc
casionally one for immorality. No
preacher's character is passed at th*
annual conference until he first gives an
account of his work, which embraces
the success of his ministry in spiritual
things and which discloses his fidelity
in raising tho various collections
ordered by the church.
Then they have applications for ad
mission into the conference, whose
eases are all voted upon after pretty
1 borough representation of the special
eases. These sessions or annual confer
ences last generally from five to seven
days. In the meantime the bishop and
his cabinet hold their sessions between
the sessions of the conference, and gen
erally at night. The bishop and the
cabinet at tho conferences is compoaed
of tl e bishop and the several presiding
elders on the districts of the confer
ence. The presiding elders are simply
an advisory Ixiard to the bishop. They
discuss the fitness and unfitness of cer
tain preaehersforcertain appointments.
The bishop who seeks the glory of God
and the good of men only has an ardu
ous task at an annual conference be
cause he acts for both parties, the
preacher and the church he Is to
serve.
One of our bishops said: “We have
three classes of preachers in our con
ference. The first class are the best
preachers whom everybody wants st
every church. The second class is com
posed of the preachers that nobody
wants. The third is conijiosed of the
preachers who are taken by any church
nithout murmuring.” The first two
! i’.asses give the bishop a good deal of
I trouble. It is hard to determine w.hcre
{ to send a preacher when 200 places
want him. It Is hard to know whnt to
j do with n preacher when not one out of
i ihc 200 places wants him. It Is an easy
task to place a large majority of prcoch-
' era who will go anywhere and whom
any place will take without murmur
ing.
Each conference has whnt Is called
Its “gum-logs.” They are generally
men who are inefficient and don’t know
it. They ore men that no charge wants,
and yet they flatter themselves that
they are generally sought for by nil the
churches. Two of our Georgia preach
ers once upon a time when they were
Voung and effective being mutual
friends agreed with each other to keep
tab and that so soon as one found that
the other was growing ineffective and
getting to be a gnm-log he would so
notify him. Time wore on. By and by
they were both old preachers. Finally
one screwed Jiis courage up to the
sticking point, took his friend out to
one side and said: “I have a jxunful
duty to perform. W’o pledged each
other in our younger days that if either
of us grew Ineffective wc would notify
the other. In compliance with that
promise. I come to you to say that you
are no longer sought after by any of the
churches. None of the ehurches want
you. You are a gum-log the conference
can’t float.” Whereupon the gum-log
replied to his friend: "There is not a
word of truth, sir, in what yon say. I
am more sought after to-day than
rver in my ministry. But I am candid
when I say to you that you arethe most
inefficient man in our conference. You
are the worst gum-log of all.” A preach
er is the last fellow In the world to find
aut that he la a gum-log.
From all these annual gatherings
many preachersgoowaj’disgruntledand
dissatisfied with their appointments.
Sonic of them talk outright. Others put
on an air of injured innocence and sub
dued greatness, and feel that great In
justice hna been done them. If all the
preachers were effective pastors
and all of the places were
good appointments every annual
conference would bo a religious
picnic. But there ore many gum-logs to
be disposed of by the bishop and his,
cabinet and there are scores of places
that no preacher wants.
The salaries of these preachers range
from $3,000 (the highest) down to $60
(the lowest). There are not many,
Methodist ehurches In the south that
■ pay their nastor* $3,000. Many pay
FI,000. Onc-third pay lesa than $50^.
The Methodist preacher never knows
until the upointments ore read out at
:he close of the annual conference
whether he will be returned or removed,
whether he will get a goo<l appointment
or a sorry one. In the meantime the
■diurches within the bounds of the con
ference are likewise uncertain as to
who their pastor will be. As a rule the
preachers are loyal to the powers that
Ik*.. As a rule the churches accept loyal
ly the preacher the bishop sends them.
Many times there is simply a misfit that
cannot lie adjusted, but the preacher re
mains with his people for the year and
they pay him his salary, looking for
ward to the time when they shall get
rid of each other. It is the preacher's
desire in a religious way to get the be»»t
| d|)ointineiit available to him. On the
other hand, every church wunls the
best preacher possible whether they
pay much or little. I suppose our
preachers like everybody else are
graded in their s.alariee. \Ye have a few
$3,000 preachers; some $2,000 preach
ers; some $1,000 preachers, and then al
most any sort of a preacher j'ou want.
We ran. supply the demand.
One of the saddest phases of theso
Annual conferences Is the memorial
service that each conference holds In
memory of the preachers who have
cone to their reward during the year.
The old heroes fall by the wayside
every year. The ranks are filled up by
.voting and vigorous men who apply for
meml>ership in the conference each
yefir.
It takes three things to make an
effective preacher. First, one who can
proseh; second, one who succeeds In
buikling up his church *nd adding to it
such as shall lie saved; and last, but not
least, the preacher who raises the
money a-sseosed to his charge. The
monies to he raised by a preacher are,
first, bis foreign misRioniiry money;
second.thpdojne.sticmiEsionary money:
third, the fund f«r our colleges and
schools; fourth, the church extension
fund; fifth, the bishop’s funds iwid
sixth, what we call the conference col
lection. This fund goes to supporting
the worn-out preacher, or the widows
and orphans of deceased preachers.
Thescoolloctioasasnrule amount to *s
much on many charges os two-thirds of
the pastor's salary. It takes money to
run anything in this world. The Lord
will provide, but most of His provisions
for man are such a« enable man to pro
vide for himself. The ravens enme to
Elijah and the manna rained down on
the children of Israel in the w iUlcrncos.
hut the Lord gives a man health and
strength and sunshine and rain, and if
he does not provid'*. then a.s a last re
sort Providence has provided u poor-
house in almost every county in our
states. •», :
As n rule the Methodist preachers aro
jolly on their way to eonfeixHiee. They
are a jolly set at conference. They arc
jolly on their way home from confer
ence. As a rule a more consecrated set
of men never get together tlvan you will
find composing these annual confer
ences. They are ready to rejoice with
them that do rejoice and weep with
them that do .weep. They are the most
liberal set of men on tlie face of the
earth. Almost every preacher comes
away from conference, when* they have
had repeated collection*, r.bsolutely
broke, snd ns poor in money as preach
ers usually are it Is morvelous the
amount contributed In the collections
♦okwi at the •r.nunl conferences for
some brother In distress, for some
brother who bos lost his horse, or who
has been stranded In some vvny; for
missions; or for any good work. Out
of tlx* 200 prenchers on the. train the
other morning T doub't If then* whrWOO
cash In their poeketeas they came away
from the conference. If the Mel hod lift
preachers preooh in>ernlity to their con
gregations they eertn'nly set the ex
ample. They practice w hnt they preach.
I have mingled with Methodist preach
ers for 25 years ns one of them. I be
lieve In them, I love them, I reverence
them. Other ehurches may have n«
good and faithful men, bnt no church
on which the sun shines to-day has
purer, better.nobler men than they who
compose our annual conferences.
BAM P. JONES. '
The K1d£’s Dor.
A curious advertisement appeared In
a London paper in the year 1650. Some
body had stolen one of the king’s dogs,
and on the 23th of June a request was
made for the animal’s return, stating
that ho was “a smooth black dog, less
than n greyhound,” and was to he re
turned to John Elies on his majesty’s
back stairs. The dog was not forth
coming, and a second aivpeal was issued.
It Is supposed to have been written by
Kink Charles himself, as no one else
would have adopted such a familiar
style In using the monarch's name. The
king’s sense of humor and appreciation
of the state of affairs nt court are well
ihovvn In the little advertisement. “We
must call upon you again for a black
[log, between a greyhound and n span
iel, no white about him only a streak
on his breast and a tail n little bobbed.
It is his majesty's own dog, and doubt
less was stolen, for the dog was not
born nor bred In England, and would
never forsake his master. Whoever
finds him may acquaint any nt White
hall, for the dog wins better known nt
court than those who stole him. Will
tliey never leave robbing bis majesty?
Must lie not keep a dog? This dog’s
place (though better than some Imag
ine) is the only place vvhlch-nobody of
fers to beg."—Youth’s Companion.
The I.lttls Too' Is Doomed.
It seems that there are to be no more
little toes. A comparative anatomist':
, ileclnres that the little toe must go, and
announces gravely that already it is
showing signsof degeneracy. Once up- <
on a time It seems that the norse was tho
possessor of four well-developed toes,
whereas now he has but one to save his
ilfe. But that toe. la a great one. And
man's toe that is to survive “the crash
of matter and the wreck of worlds*.
!■ to be the great one; so this wise sei-
| ratifle anatomist says.
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