The people. (Barnwell C.H., S.C.) 1877-1884, March 27, 1884, Image 1

Below is the OCR text representation for this newspapers page. It is also available as plain text as well as XML.

1 "v. jittan and eoamnnic*- i to bi pobliahed (hoald be written M ^ toeeU, ukd tbe object of each eWrlytadJceted by n^ownry note when _i * One lack, coc •* - eacb t. Article* for pobUcetlon^hould be written In e deer, legible beH^ead on only one tide of the pege. 4, All ehangee in adTertiaemenU mn»t rachna on Friady, •: %/**>■**'? . liberal Ora toad adrertiting la payable 10 day* after first inwrtum, Biuew other* wire ati pa la ted. Ho eoanaanlcetiee will inloae acooaapanied by the VOL. VII. NO. 30. BARNWELL, C. H., 8. C, THURSDAY. MARCH !CT. 1884. (2 a Year.. '.reaaof tbe writer, not noeaaaarlly for gabtieatioe, bat era gaaraaty of food Addraaa, TJE PEOPLE Barnwell 0. H. 8. O. ROSE OF KILL ARNE t. Ob! fab- are your daughters by Shannon’* blue water*, And lovely the maiden* of Clare and Clon mel ; And look tbe world over, you’ll fail to discover Such colleen* to love a* in old Erin dwell; Yet there ■ none on the inland, in lowlaud or From the *oft-bosomed lake* to the wild ocean shore, Who praise* conld share with, or half way com- pare with,—-* • 1 : Nora, my rose of Killarney, asthoro! Ah, Norsk's the beauty to" love’s more then duty, In the glance of her eye there’s a charm and a spell. And her voice, like the linnet, lias love's mosn- - ing in it, * -— - And rings through my heart like a musica ton. Oh, to Who and to win her would turn saint to sinner; — • • frw* Her beauty compels you to kneel and adorn, But with sighing and suing in vain you come wooing Dark Nora, my rose of Killanu-y, asthore ! Youjiear me entn-atiug with heart wildly boat ing, You know how I love yon, and still feign surprise ! I fear you’re deceiving, with glances still weav ing Tlmso snares for my life fh your beantifu eyes. your hds glisten with team as yun listen, r to my bosom and leave me no more ! •T 4 I've but this to give you, love, a heart fond and tpie, love; Dark Nora, my rose of Killarney, asthore ! .. » cy« nor: A Double Misuiidcrstniidin^ # One day in last Decemljer Mr. Hamii- car Tborulove found bis boota soaked through, and taking them off in his store, he flung them down to dry. It was an act of trifling importance to any but a very discerning mind. Yet it was' fraught with dire consequence® to Mr. Thornlove. But what could he know of the future, poor aonl ? “What poor soles they make now-a- days !” he murmured. “I will put on my alippers and stop into my neighbor Justout, and see if he can’t settle his account to day.” He was a man of bis word and did so. While he was gone, in came bis friend* —Paul Hobbledeu, and asked where Thornlove was. He was told to wait a few minutes, and while he was waiting, as he was only an old l>achelor, accustomed to look only after his own health—he drew off his boots, toasted hi* toes for half an lionr, and then, an gry at waiting so long, hastily shod him* self, and went away grabbling. Thorulam soon otter returned, also cross. Justout was not in, and now he heard that Hobbledeu was gone out. This mode him donbly peevish. “Hobbledeu gone! I wish\e would stay gone. That man haunta me three times a week at the house and as often here. I have known Hobbledeu ever since before I was married, and he knew Ophelia before 1 married her 1 Perhaps that’s why he never got married. Might be. Sticks to me like a barnacle. Af ter me so often and nothing particular ro nay. Perhaps he oomee to see if 1 am here, that he can go to see Mrs. Thorn- love. IT1 watch Hobbleden! How the snow stretches boots I” He drew them on. When Thornlove went home that even ing he felt ngly and tantalizing. He had caught odd from going in his slip pers. Ophelia played a pathetic air on the piano and sang to soothe him. “Don’t Jo thai. 'Ophelip. Ohy dbn’t I’d rather hear a funeral sermon.” “Thought yon liked sentiment,” “Hate it.” “Shall I sing something fanny ?” “No, yon think more of fingering that old mnsic-trap than you do of me.” “What shall l say ?” “Anything—or nothing would suit me I letter,” he growled. “I^n bound to have a row I” he reflected. “You’re as odd as any eld bachelor !” “Don’t you like ’em?” said he. “Hob bledeu is one of them." “Hut he’s an old friepd of onrs.” “Of ours ?” emphasized Thornlove. “I should think so. He’s here enough.” “I suppose the poor man dou’t know where to go,” said Ophelia, sympa thetic*! ly. “I should think he did know where to go—ke goqg here, that to to say, he comes here, m regularly as an old owl to its roost.” - “It oun’t be that you’re jealous of Paal Hobbleden, can it?—a man that you’ve known for so many yean ?” said she, curioudy.. “No, it can’t,” foptfod he; and then thought “Ah 1 she’s trying to pomp me, bat she won’t" ^ have to be pleasant when he cocoas) mnatn’t be inhospitable, most I?” .“Of oooree not Ob, of coarse not He’s eeaething of a bore, though." “So are all old bachelors. I wouldn’t give yon for a hundred of him. Ha, ha! QMHobbledenT “She’s Ipnghing a* my simplicity. Thinks I don’t know it FI! keep my Pasd WnUBetisn retained to Thorn- i a weak. This time -art? jfc sway so “Don’t joke," “Don’t wear tight lwots." “Don’t you know a^y remedy for a com?’’ “Cut your toe off?” “Yon are inhuman I” “Any old bachelot who is dandy enough to wear tight boots ought to have 5orns all over him,” “Had—had he? Good morning!" 5ried Hobbleden, exasperated. “I’ll see f I can’t And sympathy somewhere ilae.” And away he went •Ood bless tbe com 1” thought Thom- ove. “Why don’t Mr. Hobbleden come to see ua, I wonder?” that evening (•aid Ophelia to Mr. Thc.nlove, r “I deciare it seems lonesome without him.” IP*””* 1 me!" said Hobbleden, sarcasti- With a ghastly smile—he said he knelt that I , The horrible corn gave Pan! Hobble den such dreadful pain that finally he repaired to Mr. Chiropedowski, the great corn-doctor and Polish etile. He gouged it out for him, with heroic lack of emotion. “But these little trifle* sprout again, don’t they ?” said Hobbleden, handing the count a greenback with a saw-horse on it, emblematic of the croee he had borne. . “You must wear boots that fit,” said the chiropodist. “Were these made for you ?” “Of coureo! or they wouldn’t have THE LONDON SENSATION. * rUBMC SCAN DAI. IN Htcil l.iFfc -MISS KOKTKSCUB’rt SUIT. “You’ll have a chance to keep feeling lonesome for some time to oome. I do not think he’ll ever darken these doors again.” “You don’t mean he’s dead?” “Not quite, my love; he was lively enough this morning; be was corned. Ha, ha 1” “Intoxicated? Poor fellow ! Lonely, I suppose.” “Poor fellow I That’s pret’y well. If I had been druuk it would have been horrid monster. He wasn’t intoxicated, but bad a corn on. one of his dear toes. I joked about it, hut he went off in a rage.” “He is very sensitive; corns are pain ful. Pm sorry.” ' “I’m glad. It will be company for him, now that he don’t see you.” “ You make yourself so disagree able ! ” “So is he. Uncomfortable to him self, toa Wears tight boots to make his feet look small.” “That was needless; I always noticed he had very small feet." “No smaller than mine,” said Thorn love, elevating a foot He prided him self on his small feet. “His are two sizes smaller, at the very least,” said M«*r Thornlove, re vengefully. “Yes, nearly three; yours are like horse-cars compared with his!” “This is unliearable!” he exclaimed. "Always pitying and praising Hobble den, always neglecting and sneering at me!” “And yon are eternally hinting ’’ “Don’t talk to me!” “Nor will I; hope yon'll have a nice, sweet, quiet night’s rest, after all -this!” And she hurried tearfully to her chamber. “I reciprocate just what yon moan,” he bawled after her, and went scowling to his private conch. Mrs. Ophelia Thornlove did not ap pear at the breakfast table next day. Frederick mused gloomily over his lonely coffee. “I_was foolish, very, to make sneh a fuss about my feet.” He held them up and frowned at them, “No^r that I take a partial view, they are really none of the smallest! Besides, the right trotter-case looks longer than the other. If I hodn’t bought ’em, shouldn’t sup pose they were mates. He polled his pants up. “By ginger! they are not mates! One’s shorter than t’other. And I hope to be happy,” he added, with increased earnestness, as hn exam ined the leg of one, “if here isn’t the name of Paul Hobbleden! This to a discovery! Oh, powers of darkness, who bring sh muo’h to light! How does It happen that Hobbleden’s boot is on ®y leg ? Is the thing called Hobbleden a man or a monster ? Or am I a lunatic, and this name, Hobbleden, no name at at all ? It to not my boot. How could it oome here unless Hobbleden walked in with it? But now—now—” and he struck his eye softly with his frenzied fist—“now, I have itl Hobbleden’s boot has betrayed him. The fiend in mortal shape must have been* in this honse last night! Oh—Ophelia!”. He rang the bell and his servant, Babble, came. "Babble, take care now what you say — don’t be alarmed though — I believe I have always treated yon as a father would a brother—I mean as a brother would his son—darn it, you know what I mean—answer me truly; was or was not Paul Hobbleden, my particular friend, in this house last night? Take care!" “No, sir; he hasn’t been for a long time.” “Was he here for a short time?” “No sir, not at alL" “Babble, that’s a lie. Did you black these boots this morning ?” •laid, sir.” _ “Did you black my others ?" “No sir, I did not, sir. No sir. “Look at that leg.” “Paul Hobbleden,” said Babble, reading. “Precisely, And of course that boot belongs to him. v Now, how oould it be hern unleai 'he was ?” Babble swore that if Hobbleden had been in the house, somebody else must have let him in, after he, Babble, bad gone to bed. r > “Babble, you may go—that to, yon may stay, in my employ. Bat mind yon, don’t «ay anything of this to my wife—or I’ll discharge you.” Babbie turned pale end faded out of tight Mr. Frederick Thornlove was eery solemn for several sullen, watchful days. One day he came home and fousd Ophelia painting a witieb-cese. At fiat tike tried to hide £/ Then ^saaidit m * surpass lo^ him. cally. “One wouldn’t” "Your feet are not of the equal size— eh?” “More likely the boot,” comparing them. ** “They bees not mates,” said the sur geon. “True!” exclaimed HobMeden. “Never noticed it before. Blamed the snow for it; but they looked like mates when I bought them. I’ll go and blow up the shoemaker* to make sure*” At tbe shoemaker’s he had a ferocious controversy, but was at last persuaded be mnst have changed the boots sjpee Che purcliase—especiaTly as h6 flow retr ollected he did take off his boots in ThornloVe’s warehouse one wet day. “Must have taken Thornlove’s boot— feet are small like mine. Bnt there is a pair of breeches between me and my un feeling friend, and I scorn to call and ask him for my property. Let me see. Best thing for me to do, without being hnmilated, is to wait till Thornlove gets to bed, and then go and ask Babble to go up and change the boots. ” That very night with mingled thoughts of wife-murder and suicide, subsided among the surging feathers of his soli tary bed, the jealous Frederick Thorn love. If to die were but to sleep no less comfortably, he would gladly have taken in his arms a sea of feathers, and by re posing ended himself.. He addressed himself to sleep, but she refused to em brace so vindictive a person. Wakeful, therefore, near mi dnight he beard some body opening his chamber door. “ Can it be the brazen, false Ophelia ? No; it is a heavier weight. Blessed if it isn’t Babble, actually coming in here. Is that yon, Babble ?"~ “Yes, sir,” faltered Babble. “Thought I’d shine your boots to-night, instead of in the morning. ” “Take ’em. Doa’t oome np again.” "No, sir.” \ And the servant joyfully hurried down with them to the kitchen. “I’ll bet a bale of greenbacks that Hobbleden is in the house and has bribed him to get that boot. I thought that man would be coming, finally, and now I’ll overwhelm him I” Thornlove went down in his stockings, and listened at the partly open kitchen door. Hobbleden was really there. “That’s a~mlsohief 'making article I" said Babble to Hobbleden, who wm drawing it on. “I came near losing my place on account oFTt; Mr. Thornlove saw your name in it one morning, and thought you came to the house secretly and that I knew it. He suspected that I had shined your boots and his together, and had blundered when retoming them. Separate ap&rtmenta for him and her, this long time, yon see. ” “Good gracious!” whispered Hobble den in a cold sweat of horror; “oould he suppose so ?’’ “But now that yon have been telling me how you took off your boots one wet day in his store, it is all explained, and I’ll ease his jealous mind to-morrow.” “I have awaked from a horrid dream, at last I” joyfully reflected Thornlove, at this unexpected disclosure; “I’ll make amends at once. Come to my bosom, my dear old Hobbleden 1” he cried aloud, rushing into the kitchen in his gown and stockings; “I have been long bewildered by a false dream, but now I know the naked troth, all things are on a proper footing, and everything is a*Mt should be.” Hobbleden did not reject the affection ate .salutation of his old friend, who, after a further revelation of their mutual sufferings, insisted upon sharing his couch with him that night. They slept serenely and when they met Mrs. Thornlove at breakfast in the morn ing the only point upon which they dis agreed was, that they denounced while she blessed the boots which had dorcised from her household the green-eyed mon ster forever I ," Red Flags of Attraction. A newspaper agent called upon Mr. Olosefiat the other day in a business way. “Oh, I don’t want to adverttoe,” said Mr. Clooefisl “I have a regular run of customers, and strangers are attracted by my red flag on top of my house.” “All right,” said the agent “Juat continue doing bnaineaa that way and some of thaoe days people will see a red flag in front of jam honse, bnt they won’t be atiraoteAby Ik They will ba attracted by ttiwbell that tbe town crier is ringing as be walks op and down before your store.” j - That agent waa enmething of a phi losopher. *1 The Paneae ftrearh el Premia* Case Acalaet l^rri Oarmaxle. Miss For tee cue's action against Lotd Garmoyle, in London, to rapidly As suming the dimensiens of a public scandal The London World says that the conduct of Lord and Lady Cairns has been base, treacherous and unchris tian. 'they deceived the girl into thinking herself accepted. They fooled her With false hopes. Then, when the rapture same, Lord Cairns suggested £2,000. His lawyer induced him to consent to £5,000. Beyond this he Would not go. Society is waiting anxiously for the trial. Lord and Lady Cairna will enter the wit ness box. Lord G&rmoyle’s letters to his "bine-eyed darling” will, be read. Public opinion regards him with con tempt. He has gone abroad. His name has been withdrawn from the books of clubs. The sains for £50,000. Miss Fortescue was s pretty and popular young actress, with a personal deputation that scandal has never as sailed, when she attracted the attention and won the heart of ^oung Viscount -Gmnwyte, the eldest son and heir of Earl Cairns. The course of true love did not run smooth at first, bnt in a little time it was announced that Lord Cairns had Consented to the match, "ahd early last summer the formal betrothal of the yonng . Couple was announced. Miss Fortesone left the stage as a preliminary to the marriage, which was to take place as soon as Lord Garmoyle had finished his education. Since the engagement was made known the lovers have fre quently been seen in pnblio together. A few weeks ago a rnmor that the match was off was started, but as Lord Gar moyle and Miss Fortescue subsequently attended together a performance by Mias Mary Anderson tbe report was set down to envy. That Lord C&ims would be entirely satisfied with the alliance was hardly to be expected. Since the retirement of the Earl of Shaftesbury by reason of old age Lord Cairns has been the recognized leader of the evangelical party. It to not likely that either he or his wife, who is a daughter of the late John MoNeile, a wealthy Belfast banker, and niece of the Rev. Hugh MoNeile, the celebrated evangelical preacher of Liverpool, has ever been inside a theatre. Their coun try places of Lindtofarne, near Bourne mouth, and Milden, in Scotland, are seldom visited by even the leading mem bers of the Earl’s own party, in oouse- qnence'of tbe severity of the praying there, and he has regularly presided over the meetings of the Society for the Propagation of the Gospel in Foreign Parts. Hia eldest daughter, too, to mar ried to the Rev. Neville Sberbrook, a London preacher. The youths of his family took a different view of things and have histrionic tastes, which have found active expresaion. A Love Story. A romance of A. T. Stewart’s life is told by the New York correspondent of the Pittsburg Dispatch, About sixty years ago Cornelia Clinch was one of the prettiest girls in New York. Her father waa a rich ship chandler who lived in a big house in the fashionable quarter. He was s self-made man and thought every man ought to be the architect of his own fortune. So he frowned away every wealthy young fop who come to woo Cor nelia, and sent her regularly to school to learn to be a sensible, useful woman. Old Olinch attended St Mark’s Church, and one Sunday young Stewart saw the daughter there. He fell in love with her and became a regular attendant at the church. He got acquainted with Cornelia, and as he was poor but indus trious, the'old man smiled upon him and invited him to call and take dinner with them. After awhile Stewart asked Cor nelia a very interesting question, and she, like a good girl, blushed and said : “Y-e-o-s—if papa says so,” Then Stewart visited old Clinch, and he said: “Want to marry Nelly, eh ? Think she’s got a rich father, eh ? And you’d like to oome in for a share of his earnings, eh ?’’ “No, sir; ypu needn’t leave her or me a cent I’ll soon be richer than you anyway.” “You will, will you ? Well, I like that. Go ahead and take her then, and Heaven bless yon both.” So the young folks, who were tremendously in love with each other, were married and went to live in a modest little cottage on Reada street, and were glad to be able to cover the floors with rag carpet. There, it to said, they lived an ideally happy life. Stomp It.—In announcing the dis continuance of its morning edition, after one month’s trial, the. Baltimore Day says: “We have acquired a circulation of about 4,000, and there to every indi cation that in the course of a year we might increase this to 8,000 or 10,000; but meanwhile we should have sunk $80,- 000 or $100,000, and still have a paper which must for several yean be run at a loss, while our people were awakening to the fact of its existence, and coo eluding to give it their advertising patronage. In the matter of advertising, we have prac tically received no encouragement What- Tha evening edition is still lords two Lire our laud. RaalUh NsSIrmea wh« are Drrpljr I ntrr- -to Aairrlraa Asrleallaral Real The largest owner of lend bought in reoent years in this country to Sir Ed ward James Reed, M. P. for Cardiff, Wales. He has purchased in tbe last ten years 3,000,000 acres of well-selected cattle-grazing land in Mofttan* and Da kota. Sir Edward Reed is a practical man and the founder of his own fortune, which begot out of the iron and coal mines of his native Wales and the tin mines of Cornwall. His investments in this Country directed many others to our public domain who had great confidence in his sagacity. Next in consequence to the purchase last year of 1,800,000 acres, consisting mostly of pine land in the dtaie of Mississippi, though included in this holding are 400,000 acres of the finest agricultural land on the Continent, lying on the Yazoo river bottoms. This magnificent property belongs to the firm of Philips, Marshal A Co., wealthy corn factors of Mark Lane, London, Who are also the largest dealers In American wheat and other grains in England. Next in consequence comes the Grant estate, which includes an entire county in Kansas, and has within its bounds 860,000 acres. This probably is tbe meat desirable landed estate held by a single owner in America, as the land is rich, well watered, and settled mostly by emigration farmers from England and Scotland. Alexander Grant, the owner, has laid off all his lands into forms, built about 400 good farm houses, each, with the necessary out-buildings, snd is conducting the estate jnst as thongh it was north of the Cheviots instead of America. The Duke of Portland owns about 500,000 acres, part of which to on the North Platte in Nebraska and part in Colorado. Not much of it to yet in cul tivation. Lord Stafford owns 100,000 acres on tbe line of the Northern Pacific railroad, and he to gradually colonizing it and getting it into field cultivation. Lord Dunraven ^s the pioneer of the English nobility ia American land-own ing. He bought the well-known prop erty in Colorado called by him Dunraven Park in 1868, and at government prices. Dunraven Park contains about 100,000 acres. The first purchase was 60,000, and subsequently 40,000 acres more were added. It to one of the best cattle ranches in America, being a lovely val ley, full of pure streams fed by moun- tain springs, rich in the best cattle growing gras* known, and tbe whole property is fenced in by mountain ranges. It ia now easily worth $1,000, 000, but Lord Dunraven refuses to sell it at any price. Lord Dnnmore owns 10.000 acres not far from Dunraven, and very much the same character of land, which to rapidly improving. The Duke of Beaufort is one of the fonr owners of 400,000 acres recently bought by En- f liah gentlemen in the Pan-Handle of ex as; and Bir John Rae- Reed is another of them, the others of interest being two rich bankers' sons. There are many other Englishmen who have from 1,000 to 2,000 acres in Colorado, Texas, Da kota and New Mexico. No Changing Works There. ' You never had a chum, did you ? aaked the bad boy of the grocery man. If you ever had a chum that you loved, that had stood by you in all kinds ot weather, who would work his finger nails off for yon, and go without eating and sleeping to make you happy, you oould never talk that way. My chum to just as tender as a woman, though ke was strong as a giant afore the rheumatiz struck him, and now he to as weak as a little tiny baby, and we have to handle him just as though he was eggs. Every bone, snd muscle, and drop of blood, and piece of akin about his body is just like ma’s neuralgia, and sometimea they all ache at once, and then they take turns ach ing, and my chnm lays there and takes it aa calmly as thongh he wss at a pic nic, and never grumbles. He smiles his great big old-fashioned smile when he sees me looking over the foot-board of bis bed, and when I go np and put my hand on his face, and wipe the perspira tion off hto forehead, the tears oome roll ing down his cheeks, and he tries to raise his helpless hand to shake mine, but he can’t, and be nys, “Hello, old paid," snd then he shuts his eyes and the rhematix commences where.it left off and goes to grinding him np again. Gosh, if I could pull off my shirt snd things and get into his bed and take hto place, and let the rheumatiz get in its work on me for a day, while my'chum might go out and slide down hill or kick over a few barrels, and feel bully for awhile, I would enjoy it Bnt yon can’t change works with < fellow that has got rheumatiz. —Ptck’t Sum REYENtilNG A REBELLION. Hartlaa Maldlera Mlnnahirrlna all the Car* Iare4 Inaerareia. The steamer Alvena, from Hayti, r> ports a reign of terror on the island. After the loss of their cause those who bore arms against President Salomon fled toward the aiwports, many of them being shot by the way in their search for what seemed to lid their only possible escape from tbe vengeance of the Hay ban soldiery. Even the seaports were not secure cities of refuge. At Jeremie, tbe purser of the Alvena, Mr. Lambsrt, found tbe place swarming with government officials and soldiers. Tbe latter, by the way, according to Mr. Lamtwrt’s description, are as motley a company as jTuck Fatotuff gathered around hto valiant person in the stormy days of Prince Hal. Home of them, the purser says, wore red uniforms, some green and some black. Borne had mixed (“KKety which it would be base flattery to designate aa a uniform at all. Borne officers carried guns and some privates earned swords, while all of them swag gered abont with cigars or short pipes in their mouths. The purser had specie for Anx Oayes and a person who cams on board to get it informed him that forty-five rebels had been shot at Jaeme! and that several hundred refugees were huddled in the bouses of different consulates. Presi dent Roloman (in all hto glory once again) was expected to arrive there on the following day ami tbe refugees were awaiting hto arrival, under the protect ing flags of various nations, and hoping to receive the exeentive jiardon and pro tection. Nowhere else were the rebels safe. One of their generals donned fe male attire and fled to the wood*, but he was captured and immediately shot The Alvena went hack to Petit Goave, where she had first been refused the right to discharge cargo. In the ten days that bad clasped since her first visit the storm of rebellion had died away and permission to discharge was no longer withheld. It may have been that there were no more rebels to escape, for the parser was informed by their agents that within the ten days no fewer than fifty-two of them had been shot. They had escaped from Mlragoane and fled to the environs of Petit Goave. The fate of a rebel commander at Petit Goave will illustrate the fury with which the defeated insurgents were pur sued. He was supposed to be in oon- scalment in the town, where information reached the authorities that ha had taken refuge on board an Italian brigan- tioe- lying in port. The government at once made a demand for hto surfender and tbe brigantine gave him np. He was taken ashore and shot A Jesse James Gang Broken Up. A long series of robberies in a Penn sylvania city culminated soma time ago in the burglary of a house, and from which a large amount of plate and family jewels were carried away. The leading’ citizens employed z detective, end a da- •cent was made npdp tbe thieves, none of wWm are over twenty and til of whom are disciples of Jess* James. There were twelve or fourteen of them, all sons of some of tbe leading citizens, amktnembers ol the high school TYiey had a hut, under wliioh a cellar had been dug 6 feet deep and the sidee lined with boards. In this cellar were found toots of all kinds, looks, keys, playing cards, checkers, checker-hoards, dime novels and literature of the blood-and-thunder style. A large quantity of articlea had been removed a few minutes previously by some of the gang, they having heard in some way that the police were com ing. Inveatigations proved that the gang met quite frequently and had a tegular oath-bound organization. Before entering the bands the candidate was balloted for, and if elected was initialed. The applicant was then partly stripped and tied np against the underground wall and made to swear not to reveal any of the secrets, passwords, etc., under oertain penalty. In thb position the ap plicant waa kept for one hour, while the rest kept up a series of tortures. Sliding Down Hill QUAKER CITY JOKES. A FKW THJNUn AtTIDKNTAT.t.V OVKR- HRAKD BY TUB PHII.A DBi^lllA “KVKMNU ('Al.l.” HIMOK1HT. wnsrrnww railkoad ststzil First Western Railroad Man—“1 see it stated that a commissioner has been sent over by the Russian government, and to coming West to study our railroad system. **’•"— l -~” Second Western Railroad Man—“Yes; but I don’t see why the Russian govern ment should goto til that trouble." First Railroad Man—"Yon don’t?” Second Railroad Man — “Onsininly not; our system oould have been ex plained to the Russian government by any Western man who happened to be over there.” First Railroad Man—“That’s true; I did not think of that. It could be done with a paper and pencil by juat making dots to represent towns and lines to rep resent the roads; same as on a map." Second Railroad Man—“Exactly, and writing nnder it: Out-throat ratea be tween competing points must be made up by big charges on local traffic." Son college boy* after dark took an entire load of wood from a farmer’s sled, left in the street over night, and with great labor piled it np in a citizen’s woodshed under the impression that he’d be charged with stealing h. They now find that he had bought the wood and they have saved tbe fannsr so much work, and they want to find out who sug gested tha joke and bow muck the farm er paid him. Thu to leap year. It seems aa thongh all tbe yean are leap years, as they jump by so rapidly. , RZSTOBTRO THZIR OOKTIDKHCB. Jones—“Land me five do Hare ?” Smith—“Can’t do it Just paid out my last five dollars for a big advertise ment of property stolen.” Jones—"Stolen property ?" Smith—"Yes. I offered $8,000 re ward for information that would toad to the conviction of the thieves who en tered my boose and stole s lot of jewelry and other valuables, including a $28,000 diamond necklace.” Jones—“Bee here, I happen to know that you never owned $300 worth of jewelry in your life.” Smith—"Hiatt My creditors don’t know it I want to restore their con fidence.” __ THXIS VALDU APPHZCIATBD. Mrs. A.—“Yon will have to gat Johnny a new high chair, dear.” Mr. A—“What to the matter with tbs old one ?" Mrs. A.—“It to broken in sneh a way that it can’t be mended. I am sorry atiout it, becanse such chairs are high in price, but Johnny must have something to sit on, and we can’t let him use the dicuonary or the family Bible." Mr. A—“Certainly not; no need to. I will write to my friend, the Senator, and get him to send me some pnblio documents at once.” a or*at Dimnuxca. “Yon nay that Mr. Smith gave yon twenty dollars for officiating at hto wed ding, snd Mr. Brown only gave yon two dollars ?" (tad the wile of s utorgynmn to her husband. — _ “Yea,” he replied. “That seems vary strange,” oontfnued the tody; "Mr. Smith to a stork on a small salary, while Mr. Brown, I here always understood, to a very wealthy Did you ever stand near a hill in winter, and watch the boys coasting, and not wish that yon were z boy again just for zn hour? How jolly a crowd of coasters are. Every boy seems to have zn idee that he must talk end shout or something will burst, and they all try to do it at once. The keen, fresh air, and invigorating exercise, make the lungs demand exercise, and nature asserts her sway by making the boys ex ercise their lungz by shouting and talk ing. Bee the toughing, sparkling eyes and rosy cheeks of the youngsters. Fan? Waa there ever a place on this earth where a boy gets more fun than while coasting? Why, a boy will get more fun out of sliding dewn a steep hill on a barrel stove, if he can’t get a sled, than he oould at ajhnoat any other ■port, It don’t seem right to prohibit the sport, , We moat not forget that we were boys and as boys hpi our fun. It might be a good idea, however, to use the middle of oertain streets for coasting and tot the fact ba generally known, so that there can ba no reasonable for accidents to people craeiai streets, bnt it doss seam a little too fog reaching to arrest a boy for ending down hill, no mtitar what htD it may be. "He to, my dear, bnt this to eeeond time Mr. Brown has bean lied.” / Little Ntil—“Your family ain’t half so stylish as oars. ” v Little Hand—“I’d juat like to know Why it’taint."- Little Nell—“ Tauae we’ve dot an old family ghost, an’ day to awfnl' sty hah." Little Maud—“Pooh 1 that tint nothing. We’ve got something more stylish than that. I heard mamma talk to papa abont it." Little Nell-“What to itr Little Maud—"A skeleton in tha etoset” KA%TBB aw nSALTH. Mrs. D.—“Who would have thought it?" Mr. D.—Thought whet ?" Mrs. D.—“In this article on 'Health* the writer says it to far wiser to sleep till one wakens naturally.” Mr. D.—“Oh! I kpew that long ago." Mrs. D.—“You never told me." Mr. D.—“Your memory to very shod Haven’t I told you hundreds of times to let me sleep until the fires see fixed, tbe children dressed, end breakfast ready to put on tbe table?” BIS NAUR. Circus Manager—“Well, everything to reedy now for getting up next season’s posters and handbills, except your name.” Elephant ^peper—“My name?" Circus Manager—“Yea, yOn hare not given that to me yet"' Elephant Keeper—"Ywi know very well that it to Don Caesar De Nerenni.” Cireos Manager—“Oh I that will never do. That waa your name last year, and you remember, yon were killed by to eleuhanto last fall at 8k Loom" J HOT aiUliTT or ABlTHliWL “Prisoner, yon stand charged'with murder in the first degree, guilty or not guilty T “I killed too man, yos but-" “I aaked jmTara you guilty or not guilty of the charge preferred?" “Ldme explain. Awl ■M, 1 JriBai to* 4M*; tat I oommittod to* Asad, whlto f wu* tomperarfly fo—■ " “Oh, that pats the til eta light! Ton are di-ti