Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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»Tii 8. ArttdM for poblicttlon ahonld be writtm in a dear, legible hand, and on only one aide of the page. 4» ill ehangeain.adeertieement» matt each ne on Friadr. VOL. VII. NO. 2£ “THINGS THA T ARE NOT.' I dreamed a dream of Love, t t That »ho waa holy, pure, and true, A friend to ghr* delight on earth, A voice to bid man look above, Her constancy her only worth, Alas! like this she comes to very few. I heard her sacred name On lips of many, yonng and old, I looked their idol in the face, A giddy, pleasure-seeking dame, Whose vanity is her disgrace, Whose summer friendship fades. ..befor» the cold. Is love then bnt a dream, • * The sweetest fancy man can know? Or has she broken earthly bars And fled, with her celestial gleam. To shine aloftfamong the stars And look with scorn upon .the cloud* below? When Fsith and Hope are dead, When life has for its only aim To seek the passing moment’s bliss, To And sufficiency of bread, Man soon his highest joys will miss, ^ And seeking Love will find her bnt s enme flying into the roan, without any more waramgAhjuTiFhtiaJmd been shot from a gun. " “The old missus spys you are to come over at once, both you ladies 1” she cried, standing before Mrs. Rashleigb, and re peating her iessou like a parrot. “There’s something of importance, and you’re needed at wonst” “Get your bonnet, Cornelia,” said her mother. “I’ll just put on this sun-hat . What is it, Sally; do you know f” “I know it’s something dreadful Mia- sos is almost wild, and there’s lota of folks there. Something about Mr. THE I.OVKjlSV QUARREL “Never, while I live," said Miss Rash- leigh, “never while I live, will I see your face again!” * She meant it whei^ she said it; and as she spoke, she threw her l>etrothal ring towa: d her lover, who hod offended her. It missed him and rolled down upon the floor and over the sill of an open china closet—one of those old-fashioned closets that used to stand on either side of the mantel-piece. She did not notion where it rolled; he did tbo'ugh; and after she had left the room, he turned to pick it up. The ring she had worn would always be precious to him. i Miss Rashleigh went straight to her own room, as miserable a girl as ever lived, and a moment later Grandmother Rashleigh bustled iuto the drawing-room, pushed the open closet door to, picked up the fallen magazine, set the annuals and books of poetry straight on the table, pulled down the shades, arranged the chairs mathematically against the wall, and bustled out again. “I’ve had these things fifty years,” she said to herself, “and there’s Cornelia and her liean with no more respect for them than if they were so much lumber.” . Then she closed the door behind her. ami went away to her own room up- stairs, where a fine silk patchwork quilt was in the frame, a surprise for said Cornelia. Grandmother Rashleigh gave every young person of the family something of her own manufacture oil his or her wed ding day. “Now,” the old lady hod said a dozen times to Tripheuy King, who was help ing her; “I rather think Cornelia will have the best thing I’ve done; and there’s a bit in it of every handsome silk there’s ever been in the 1 family, and of her father’s and grandfather’s wed ding vests.” “Yes’m, it’s a real memorial quilt," said Tripheny. “It tabes you, mum, to plan such things.” _ The quilt was finished and bound that afternoon, and Tripheny’s job of quilt ing being over she went home. But she carried about the village the news that she “was sure all was over between Miss* Rashleigh and Mr. Spear. She’d heard Cornelia seyiug something to her grandma, and the old lady was furious.” “He would never have done that if he had cared for me, you know, grandma," Cornelia was saying at that moment. “Stuff and noncsenne f He loves the ground you walk on 1” said the old lady. “You’ll never get such another, Cor- neJiaT “I shall never marry at. all; I hate men 1” Cornelia answered. And then her grandmother made the house too hot to hold her, and she went over to her mother’s, her usual course when she fell out with grandma. , Three days passed. At the end of the third Piety Pratt stepped in at Mrs. Rashleigh’s—young Mrs. Rashleigh, as they called her, though she was nearly fifty, for grandma was old Mrs. R*-b leigb. “I expect yqu’ll feel upset when I te you the news, Cornelia,” she said. “To hAe been too cruel this time—he, he, he ! Orville Spear ha’n’t been heard of sinoe he was at your house. His mother says he went over to explain and make up, and he never came back—he, he! She thought maybe he’d stepped over to his brother’s, but he hadn’t—he, he 1 I reckon he’s drowned himself I” “I don’t know why the whole town •hoold talk over my affairs and every meddling old maid giggle about them !” cried Cornelia. Piety jumped to her feet, seized her parasol and turned toward the door. “Good afternoon, Miss Cornelia and Mm. Raslfleigh,” she said, with s con temptuous courtesy. “I'll remember my manners, if other folks forget theirs. Only there’s other folks as likely to be old maids as me, and I fancy it’s Mrs. Spear’s affair now if anything has hap pened to her boy 1” - . Away flounced Miss Pratt. — - ~ # ~ “You’ve pnt Piety into' s rage, Cor nelia,” said Mm. Rashleigh. ‘That’s a pity; she has s long tongue. 1. But Cornelia waa crying. “Oh, mother, dear,” she sobbed, “it isn’t true, is it t Orville did feel dread fully. Won’t you pee, mother?” But at thia moment Sally, the little servant girl from Gradma Rashleigh’s The two ladies said no more. Tb«y hurried away together, and entering grandma’s parlor, found there assembled more of the memliers of the Spear family aud a friend or two besides. Orville had indeed disappeared. He had never been home sinoe his visit to Cornelia, and now the alarmed relatives sere anxious to get all the information they could regarding the interview be tween Orville inij;Coruel ia. ^ . “I had-; Reason to be angry, Mrs Spear,” said Cornelia, proudly; “good reason, and I took off my ring and gave it back and went out of the room. I don’t know when he went or where. I —I thought he wouldn’t mind so much. I believed ho had stopped caring about me.” i “He ought to now, at all events,” said grandma “My boy is dead, I’m sure. -I shall have the ix>nd dragged I” said Mrs. Spear, amidst her tears. “He left all his money at homo, - He wouldn’t have gone traveling without a change o clothes. Ob, you wicked girl ?” “I hope,” cried the eldest Miss Spear, “that he’ll haunt you 1” “I could kill you, ypu hateful thing !” cried the youngest Miss Spear. Cornelia had kept up bravely until now-; bnt when* her two friends turned upon her thus, she gave a little scream, and fell over on the sofa. She was in a dead swoon,*and the water they sprin- " kled in her face did not bring her to. Grandma grew frightened. “I hope it isn’t an attack of heart dis ease,” she said. “Poor child ! she looks as if she were dead. ^ “Oh, don’t say that!’’ cried th mother. They gathered around Cornelia ar did all they could for her, and soon si recovered and sat up, bnt all her priU was gone. “Oh, dear! oh, dear!” she sobbed, “I wish I had died ! • I wish I had never come to ! Oh, Orville ! Orville! wfli&t has become of you ?” “Oh I oh I” moaned the mother. “Oh ! oh !’’ moaned the sisters.^ And Cornelia’s head fell back again. “Emma, get the lavender out of the ohina-clueet,” said grandma to her daughter. “Quick ! It’s on the corner shelf {" —■ ■ Mrs. Rashleigh rushed to the closet. “It won’t open,” she cried, wildly. “It’s a patent lock,” said grandma; “locks as it shuts. Here’s the key.” Aud Mrs. Rashleigh flew back to tho door,.^pened t it aj^j uttered a shriek. There on the floor, huddled up under the shelf lay poor Orville Spear. He^was white and limp. Cornelia sat and stared at him in the most awful way. She thought him dead, but the more experienced matron saw that he was yet living. Sally was sent post-haste for the doc tor; and. there, in Mrs. Rashleigh’s drawing-room, he found Cornelia and Or- sighed Cornelia. “Oh, bov pale you are 1” ’ “Aud how pale you are, Cornelia !* sighed Orville. “Did you really care when you thought I was dead ?*’ “Ladies,” said Grandma Rashleigh, “now that Orville is getting on, let us go into the other room ana leave these two young folks to talk things over to gether," She led the way; the others followed. When the tea-bell rang toon after, Orville and Cornelia came out 6f the drawing-room arm-in-arm, aitl the wed ding-day was fixed. floating YlllAgw, LOTTE COMMUNITIES THAT liTE ON TBS CLUSTERED CANAL BOATS. Romeo and Juliet in the scene at the tomb, and the rest of the party in a state of bewilderment and torror past description. At last, however, both were conscious and seated in arm-chairs, regarded each other, while the observers kept silence; and Mr. Orville Spear uttered the first words. "Of all confounded fools ” "Who, dear?” asked his mother. “Me,” said Orville, regardless of, grammar. “Who shut me in ?” “What were you in the closet for?" asked grandma, with a guilty con science. ‘To pick something up that rolled there,” said Orville. “The ring?” asked Cornelia, fran tically. “Yes, the ring,” said Mr. Spear. “More fool I! Some one banged the door to. I shouted and howled and kicked, and no one heard me.” “Oh, oh, oh, oh!” shrieked Cornelia. “I believe yon hid there to kill me, for no other purpose than out of revenge. ” “Youi banged the door ou me,” said Mr. Spear. “A jealous woman would do any thing." “I banged the door, OrviUe!” said old Mra. Rashleigh. “I! You’d left everything flying. I just pushed it as I passed, and yon ought to 1 bless your stars that you are alive, for people don’t go into the drawing-room, sometimes for a fortnight in this small family. We use the parlor much more, and I am deaf, and so is old Hepsiba, and you might have died there. Yes, and you’d have killed him, Cornelia,” added the old lady, “throwii]g his pretty diamond ring on the floor I” “Oh I" moaned Cornelia. “Oh 1” “It wasn’t her fault, I was a con founded fool all through I" cried Orville. ‘T knew that closet had a spring-lock. No; don’t blame Cornelia.” “I shall always Mama myself P People who visit the neighborhood of the Atlantic or Erie Basins will notice the smoke curling from the littfe stunted stovepipes projecting above the neat white cabins of the scores of catal boats that remain there the winter through. About the decks, when The siftw is on, will be seen the tracks left by fee shoes of little ones, the French-heel^ shoes of maidens and the broad soles of the men. There are other easily-found signs which show that in every boat a family is living, and that, in fad, these collections of boats are comminities, separate and distinct like villages in the country. These families are botnd to gether by social ties and by simiUr bus iness interests. The boats furnish them their means of livelihood, and are their homes the year round. They inter marry, and many a man among them was bom on a boat of parents who were on the canal about all their lives before him. More quiet, peaceable, indistri- ous communities cannot be found than the villages floating in these basins. The community of interests among them is so strong that a society was formed some years ago for the advance ment of their iwouninry and othef in terests. By its efforts the Agitation was started which first took the toll from the unloaded boat and nt last gave New York State its free canal. The society is now called the Canal Boat Owners and Commercial Asscciatfon. It num bers over 200 membem.—N. Y. Sim. Smashing ’em All Up. In 1861 when Generd McClellan made his demonstration on Hrmch -sb r in order (o cover his real design of approaching Richmond by the Peninsula route, he marched as far as Berryviile, West Virginia, and a little beyond there re traced his steps and with haqte pro ceeded to embark his troops on board of transports to be ca.Tied to Fortress Monroe. On the advknce toward Wiucliostei. when the head of the column had reached Charlestown, greater cantion was olmerved on the march, as it was expected that the enemy would be en countered at Berry vile. A Western brig adier was sent forward' with his brigade to feel the enemy.. Now this officer had seen service in Mtxico and was ac counted a brave and experienced Niffloer. As he'<passed at the head of his troops by the regiment of OoL Owen, of Phila delphia, he stopped, and pulling his moustache as was his aabit, said: 1 ‘Look out now, Colonel, you’ll hear music soon, sir. I’ll knock ’em sll to thunder if 1 meet ’em. Make no mistake, sir." Then he rode on and sure enough, about the time he should have arrived at Berryviile, the .boom of cannon waa ville lying quite unconscious, like heard and the troops hurried to the front. We went up. at the double- quick and when near Berryviile met the brig adier coming back radiant with joy. Polling his moustache again he cried out: “What did did T tell you? T made ’em bounce. They brought out a battery into the open ground, just beyond town, but it never fired a shot, sir. I knocked it all to flinders before it could un- limber." Troops hurried on and as we came to the spot indicated we found a threshing machine utterly wrecked and a dead horse in th« harness, o still hitched to it. In a home near by were some farmers frightened half to death. They had been going out to thresh some grain when- the rampart brigadier saw them gnd, opened his batteries on them. When the brigadier heard he had de stroyed a threshing machine only his jaw fell and it was many a day before he heard the last Of his ludicrous adven ture. 4 Meeting Trouble. Never meet trouble half-way Numbers of people really make them selves ill by going out to meet disaster and misfortune—in other words, ity fancying all sorts of bad things are about to happen to them. As a rule, not a tithe of these terrible eventualities ever occur, and all the shrinking apprehension is undergone for | nothing. A man, especially k family man and a : father, ought always to prepare for the ! worst—for instance, by insuring bis life. v Bnt this is no reason for his getting np every morning and fancying he is going to die before noon! If people always lived within their means, always had a little put by, and never let the future worry them unduly, they would lead far happier lives than at present seems to be the To fill the hour ,iud leave no crevice for .repentance or an approval—that is happiness. IT IS BEST TO KEEP SOBER. 4 YOUNG MAN DBUNK, AND THE POM. WON IN WHICH IT PI.ACRM HIM BENT mm.. An Ori«laal Wav st Telling Is Beet set te Drlak u l.ssek. wfev it Mack Free \ [From Peek’s Boa.] A young man who signs hiioaif “A Bounced One," writes and asks the fol lowing question: “Is a girl right in giv ing her fellow the bounce, if he comes homo full of—not love, but beer—once, only once, during a two year’s engage ment?” The girl is the one to judge whether she is right or not. If she thinks she is right,- that sat ties it, It does not follow that because a young man gets full once in s two year’s en gagement, that he would necessarily make a drunken husband, but a girl is supposed to know whether she Wonts to take the chanoes or not It is not a light thing to be drunk in the presence of one you love, young maa. Yon may laugh at it, and think she will look upon it as a joke, but you are liable to knock ail the love out of her heart, when you think you ore smart She thinks of you as a noble man, and your picture is in her heart, engraved, as it were, there, just as she sees you when you arasU. your brightest and best What a shock it gives her to see you drunk, with yonr eyes blood-shot and watery, your hair, that, perhapa, she has stroked with her gentle hand, all tangled up and full of cheese sandwich! She has admired your gentlemanly bearing, and now she s t» you staggering, and left-handed in both feet. She has learned to love to hear you laugh, and see you smile, and the echoes of your pleasant words linger in her soul, and when she hears that maudlin laugh of drunkenness, and seen a leer in place of the heavenly smile, aud listens to your words, that come thick and uncertain, as- though from your stomach, and she does not know b«t tho next words that come will be accompa nied by stale beer and free lunch, yon cannot wonder that she gives you the liounee. You would not go and have your photograph taken when you were drunk, and present it to her, and yet, when you appear before her in that condition, your appearance is photographed oh hor heart, and the new pictures takes the place of the old one that has been there, and try however bard she may to nee you as she wants to, bright and sobefl, And a true lover, for the life of her, she cannot erase the drunken picture, and while she would forgive you if she could, she feels that you have hurt her terribly. She is not to blame, poor girl, for bouncing yon. Ton bounced yourself out of her heart when yon thought you were smart, and got full. True love and drunken ness cannot exist, where the parties are refined. You had rather she would bounce you than to have her tolerate you, aiul always have that picture of your drunken condition coming up before her. You can probably find a girl, less refined, who would overlook your getting drank, and you may marry such a one, but you will always love the little finger of the good girl who bounced you more than you can ever love the one who will overlook and laugh at your drunkenness. It is a serions thing to do as you have done, and forty yean from now, instead of thinking you did « smart thing, you will discover that you made a colossal fool of yourself. If you think so now, and decide that ahs has done right jond can convince her that you realize what you have done, and are not too prond to go and tell her about it, and ask her pardon, it may be well with you, but if you feel that she is over-nice, and has wronged you, you had better stay away, and-then to, with no complain, and you will regret your act as long as you lire. It is best to keep sober. An International Question. Dr. Edward Nunez, of Philadelphia received word from relatives in Cuba that Colonel Emilio Nanez, a tobacco importer of that city, had been arrested while on l>oard the American schooner John B. Hamil, Jr., tying in the harbor of Sagua la Grande, Cuba. Colonel Nunez had formerly lieen an officer in the patriot army and recently applied for a passport to return to Cuba to settle his brother’s estate. Thia was refused. He then embarked on the schooner as one of her ore*, not intending to lend on Cuban soil. The schooner reached Cuba January 12, and two days after ward a demand was made for the sur render of Colonel Nunez. Thty was re fused by the schooner’s captain; and an armed crew from a man-of-war then took him prisoner. Dr. Nnnez left for Wash ington to lay the case before the Secre- t;ury of State. “Thebe were 650,000,000 menhaden taken in the waters about New York and in Long Island Soand r last season," said a dealer in oils to a reporter, “but they were so poor that the oil secured from them was only 1,800,000 gallons, against nearly $2,060,000 gallons from 850,- 000.000 fish token in 1882. The fer tiliser made, however, in 1888 waa a third more than that made in the previous year—about 40,800 tone against 30,000, in favor of last season. The market is full of the fertilizer, and it is being held for bettor prices. The SlAaaor watch a Waatc Nettles aae Slaat AaiteaMr. “Lawiug it" is one of the most ridiou* Ions parts of the experienoe of Amer- oans. It seems to be considered a cheap luxury to have a lawsuit, and yet it is very expensive. It has got so half of the people seem to have a chip ou their shoulder all the time, ready for some body to knook it off, and the first thing they do when they think they have been injured is to go for a lawyer tar a justice of the peace, and a lawsuit is the result; men who are not interested are token from their busineee.tp sot as jurors, and ill feeling li created that lasts forever. The fact that the poorest person in the world can indulge in a lawsuit, and ba encouraged by lawyers, and pointed at as “the one who had the lawsnit," causes many cases in courts. Instead of using every other device for a settlement ol differences before resorting to the courts, a lawsuit in the first thing thought of. If s man slips down ou the sidewalk, he looks up to see who owns the building in float of which he fell, with s view of suing him for damages, even before he feels of himself to find if he ia hurt He does not stop to think that perhaps his boots are to blame, being run over at the heel, and it does not enter his head that he is liable to be beaten in the law suit and have a bill of oosto saddled onto him. Two men are driving in opposite FIND IN THBSf OTKK. TOSMIUt WHAT WE MUSICAL COUNTERFEIT “One of these dollars la a counterfeit, ma’am.” “How can you toll ?" “Simply by sound. Just top H, a* hear how clear the genuine sounds. That’s tend*. Notice wfacn l tap the other one. That’s baea.”—Autttn Sift ing*. wife. »- directions and run into each other, and,- “ Well, my dear,” observed the wicked without stopping to reason together to see 3 the damage cannot be amicably settled, they shake their fiats at each other, .call names, and one drives off after a policeman and the other goes to a justice of the peace to complain, and a lawsuit is the result, in which both are damaged more than by the accident, but each always believes that the other is a pirate, and their children quit speaking to each other. If men who have differ ences would go to some neighbor and state their ease and abide by his deci sion, shake hands and be friends after ward, the country would be better off Not many months sgo a man felt ag grieved at something that appeared in the Sun, and after blowing around tor s day or two he came to the office to inter view the editor. He explained his grievance, aud wound up by saying that his lawyer had told him that the article was libelous, and that he could recover damages. The editor never had a law suit and never wanted one, and he said to the man: “Partner, a lawsuit is s foolish way to enjoy religion. Now, I’ll tell you what to do. You go to the President of the Merchants’ Association, of which you are a member and I am not Have the President appoint a committee of five men from the association to hear your statement Yon take the paper contain ing the obnoxioos artiois to them, and state your case, just as strong as you can. I will not make any defense. Whatever amount they say you have been damaged I will give a check for, and we will shake hands and be friends, and go to the same church as usual, and listen to the same minister preach the gospel If 1 have damaged you, you most have your moneys bat we don’t wan’t to spend the balance of our lives iu a lawsuit” ' ^ The man stopped and thought a mo ment, and said: “That is the fairest proposition I ever heard, and yon don’t owe me a cent, and the matter shall drop from this mo ment.” 1 If people would never go into a law suit until they couldn’t go into anything else, there would be fewer men with ene- A BOY WITH AH ETE TO -JjJEh—. ma’am. I’ll -dean your side walk for a quarter." TJ “ ‘ “ “But it ia cleaned. • I just paid a boy thirty cento to shovel off the snow, and yet you are the sixth boy who wanted to dean it over. 1 presume there’ll be twenty more.” “Then, ma’am, gimme fifteen cents and f 11 sit on the door-steps and tell ’em thev’re left I” * A BIRD IE THE HAND. “My d&rliug, you do not beetow upon me so much affection as you did before we were married,” remarked a pouting bride of four years to her husband. "Don’t I ?” he replied. “No, Chjurles, you, do not;-you pay very little attention to me,” said hia ■pend altogether fob much time ia play. You must buckle down to work." “AH right, lather," was the dutifal re- shed, shmghii skates over hia and dtoappeeied, aotto return until ger drove hia home for supper. “Well," avslalw^Mi the irat “where kMOJoH been all day, tir r - - ar |9 <• “And didn’t you _ __ night that you would buckle down to work?” “Indeed I did, dear father,” aid the bright and truthful lad. “I eooldn’t skate, you know, if I didn’t first buckle down to work.” husband, “did you ever see a man run after a horse-car after he had caught H ?’’ CLEAR WASTE. “You don’t call on Mias G. now?" “No, we’ve quit” • "Quit? What’s the difficulty ?” “Oh, her father’s too penurious." “Too penurious? Why, he has the reputation of being particularly liberal” “Perhaps he has, but he told me the other evening I’d better leave, as he couldn’t afford to waste shoe leather on me. It’s my private opinion that that man would skin a flea for its hide and tallow.”—Oil OUg Blizzard. mies all around, and while lawyers might PERFECTLY WILLING. - As the President sat down Elder Pen stock rose np. There was a yearning, anxious expression on his face, and, after clearing his throat of taoka and splinters and scrap iron, be said: “Miwmr Premdeat, in —e dot la in case you doan’ want ” “Sit down I” “Fire him out I” "Snatch him bald-headed I” came from all parts of tho hall, accompanied by a great clat ter of feet, and the Elder was forced to hidehia head. IcfcTMl ANOTHHB NAME FOB Two young ladies, one a resident of . , ., . _ „ Philadelphia and the other of Chicago, Jj^o^/pAta Evening Call. were walking on Michigan avenue when the Philadelphia girl remarked : “It strikes me as quite remarkable that so many of the houses in this dty have bay windows attached to them." “Yes” responded the Chicago' miss; “we find them very convenient, but we do not call them bay windows.’’ “No? * What do you call them ?” “Foot reeeptocles."—-PAtiadetyAto Call. them good in the end. —Peek’a lSun. School was Oat. “ I hear a great deal -of talk,” said old Mr. Joblingson, as he drove out into the country, the other day, in order to enjoy s sleigh-ride with a friend, “ of the decay of manners in Americans, and particularly in American youth. Now I don’t take much stock in it To be sure, when I was a boy, I was taught to say ‘ Sir ’ or ‘ Madam ’ to every man or woman who spoke to me, and to take off my hat to every grown person I might meet on my way to school. Nowadays the boys are leas formal, per haps, but are they less truly polite ? I think not. Look at the crowd outside the school-house we are just coming to. Did you ever see a brighter, more re spectful, quieter set of boys? Gentle men, every one of them, I make no doubt." The boys were, indeed, re markably quiet, and when the old gen tleman bade them “goodday” as he and his friend skimmed by, they re sponded in fitting terms. “ What did I tell yon?" asked Mr. Joblingson proudly, as the congregation passed. WHY HE WASN’T THSHH NOW. Kosciusko Mqrphj, who is a book keeper in a grocery house, met a friend who clerks in a cigar store on Austin avenue, and asked him for seigar. “Ain’t got any," said his friend. “Ain’t got any?’’ said Kosciusko. “Why, when I used to work in a cigar store, I always had my pockets stuffed with cigars.” “Yes; probably that’s the reason you ain’t iu a cigar store now," wal the mushing reply. ~Tejiaa Sifting*. PBOUD OF IT. Borne of the riohest men in Austin started in life in a modest way, and are still plain, unpretentious people, but their sons put on a great deal of style Cue of the latter, who was better potted about other people’s affairs than about hia own family’s, remarked, sneeringly, to an acquaintance: “Your father was nothing but a simple stone mason.” “I know where you got that informa tion,’’ quietly remarked the other. “From whom did I get it?” “From your father." “How do you know that?” “Because your father used to be my father’s hod carrier.’’—Tfccae Sifting*. OR THE LOOKOUT. A young men was standing on < nut afreet smoking a cigarette and I ing t^e smoke proudly through when a gentleman stopped sa him: • .» “Will you be kind enough to favor me with your name .and sddrees f “And why should I give yoHmy name aqd addreas ? tyu are a stronger to me," replied the young man, lighting a freah cigarette. ~ “You will pleaee pardon the requaa^’* continued the gentleman; “but I* hi merely a matter business, I watched the expert manner in which; handle oigaiettae, and, being taker, I would sort o’ like to •peaking terms with your family.”— Xfce Call. - MB * A MOONLISHT EYMFHOHK Algernon—"My dearest ’ Eadora, you know that aa we are upon to be married ws should cease to live in an enchanted dream and begin to take pracitoal rises of life.” Endora—“I know that, have thought it all over much i than you think.” Algernon—“You know that I am not rich, and eaanot afford to keep my bird of paradise in a gilded cage.” Endora—“It mah— no dtiksenet, Algernon, I have already picked out a •west little house in the i I know you cap rent” Algernon—“How good angel, and then you know that in to pay tor the furniture, which must be bought on Btotidm suto, it wflinot de tn keep a eerraat. Oan aqr ilaiifogh pretty white hands make famed aud attoad to all the other household duties?" Endora—"Well, no; but I have pro vided for that, too. Mother’s people are staving houeekeepere, aud she and my three maiden aunts wfll give up boarding and come and live with ue,”— couldn't no hi. Two Brooklyn boys found p Year’seard caee. It' card case, but the boys at ones quarreled for its possession. The mailer of the two, a slim little fellow, with red hair andoturned-up note, displayed nofen phenomenal ability in the matter ol blood-curdling threats and gmonl brag gadocio that the other boy,Who hade hoed like * Na«nw*.hsii and a flat tihe the knotty end ef a club, felt onenpoilad to give up the quarrel iu dtagraaa. *A gentleman who waapaming aaked tim larger boy why he did not take tornttle his by right of dtoeovery. - ^ “Kin 1 lick 1m!” mid the boy; "la course 1 kin lick im. IT SAVINO MONET. Mrs. B.—“You remember, dear, that you said laaQfoeok I better attend Oeah k Oo.’s annual remnant sale m I might pick up a few little bargains and save somtitoing." Mr. B.—“Yes, and I hope you went, for my busineu te not prospering and we But at that instant a snow-ball I maat «*ve where we can.” * v “ * l '“ ** Mrs. B.—“Yea, I went, and you can’t guess how much.I saved." Mr. B.—“^bw much ? A dollar ?” Mrs. B.—“A dollar! I saved ten dollars!” ~ ~ Mr. B.—“Bleas my stars. What Have you been doing ?” . came between the heads of the pair, and, striking the horse, set him off at a dead gallop; another knocked off Mr. Job- lingson’s hat; a dozen hit him and his friend on their backs at the same instant, and as long as they were in range they were soundly peppered, amid the hoots yells of the “quiet young gentle- j Mrs. B.—“Saving money just as yon And when the horse stopped, and Joblingson had picked the snow out of his ears and neck, he opined the youth of the present generation roundly for a pack of roughs and incor rigible said. I found a fifty dollar remnant of •ilk just large enough for two drawee and by taking K all I saved ton dollars. The bill will be sent to you to-morrow. Shall I go again and aavp —“ But Mr. & had fainted. into bits an’ chew an’ swallow ’tea.’ 1 “Then why do you stand hare?" “You don’t know that boy, Wfay.be kin talk Mggern a and nobody but a deaf boy up < street dset tackle Urn. I’ve mote’n cnee, but he scares me time. Why, he’d Mare the wits Suliivsn. Lick 1ml up an’IB show you howl Ua Itofe 1m r LEAP YEAR UBUtT. f A touno Chicago man baa applied far a divorce, alleging that hia wife fomad him to marry her. This statement, and the fact that leap year te so near, will make timid young men feel very Mayum —Chicago Telegram. ■ « *- It te understood that the adopted the following i leap year: “If you see what «ou wanly ask for it."—Texa* Sifting*. 7 Fob several yean pari it customary to* young men to girl who refuses to many course the girls will be ing the tables next year.- Traveller. . ' The girls have already plana for leap year. Tb lover they will say, “Do you Khe made bread?” If heaaya. reply will be, “Well, I mn hak» » ■N