The people. (Barnwell C.H., S.C.) 1877-1884, January 31, 1884, Image 1

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r -n NAircr. as wa. cm m te Mood la Um kitaben; ' v '; Bar alee vM were rolled ap, oad her eheeka eB ajclow; erhelr weaooilnd neetly; when I, lodieoreetlj, Mlcql^nMiibg white Nancy waa kinmfttm am, who oonhl be aeeter, or bri(hter, or eweeter. Orjhehaai aaoagan daHdhMMly hwy Dr win teok ao atender, ao graeefnl, ao tender, Aa Nanay, aweet Haney, while kaexHag the dough? fe Bow daftly ahe preaaed M, aad aqneeced it, Ohreaerd ft Aad twisted aad turned it, bow quick aad now alow. lb, an, hat that awrfnaaa, Fra paid for in Twee my heart ahe waa kaeadlag aa well as thedoogh. it last, whaa ahe tamed for her pen to the She saw me and bhuhed, and said shyly, “Fbade, go, > Or mj bread Fd be apoillag, la spite of aay toiling, If yon staa here and watch while Fat kneading the dough." begged for pernhaion to atay. She’d net listen; The aweet little tyrant said, “ No, air I no, no r* when I had vanished oa being thus heart staid with Nancy white kneading the dough.— ha dreaming, sweet Nancy, aad sea yow in fancy, Tear heart, tore, has softened aad pitied aay Aad we, dear, are rich in a dainty waa kitchen Where Nancy, my Nancy, standi w —-^-g • the dough. ^ -Votes d. Fraser, /r., la Ac Cbwtery. Joe’s Treat. ■ow oamta CLitrs amuaaD TO tarn amd mm am on NTS, f It waa Ghrlatmaa Ere and crowds of busy bnyera and ploaearo-aaekera thronged Avenue A. Among thorn might have boom aeon a boy of per haps ten yean and a girl tome three yaam his junior, who were evidently bent upon a very important errand, if one could judge by the number of timer they paused and oooaulted, the look of earn seta sea deepening in their frees. Good facer they were, too, if alitlteaoiled. The boy's frank and honest, with a merry twinkle in each dark eye, whilst the girl's blue oner wore an inAooaat, wist ful expression. She would have bean quite pretty if it had not been for the sickly color of bar akin (want of proper nourishment), and the matted looks, which only needed eoap and water to lender them eoft end foldoa. A strew bonnet, a portion of the brim aliasing, on account of ha being several aiaea too large, gave the child constant employ ment trying to keep it on. Its counter part in the shape of a hat coveted the curly heed of her companion, whose pente eould hate eaeily held *—— boy. Preeently they pcuccd befcte a barge within wfaidh aha eat stood lengthwise, e hole in its tide being eoaocalad by a certain of eail doth, the other ride wall and part of front were ocmpoccd of pieces of tarpaulin, propped up by old broom handles and one bant iron staple. At the rev stood a high brick wall Adorning the packing ease's aides wan * pert of a drone poster, a Sunday •ehool card and a colored lithograph. By the time Sis had finished her in spections the fire, which consisted of charred coal and odds and ends of wood. I I couldn’t, Joe/ exclaimed the little girl. ‘•teg, you p?4 top—iff gesy enough. Tilly aid at Jim’s party, and ahe ain’t half ka pretty aa yott be," replied Jog vncooragingly. t j 7, "Bid ahe?’* answered Bit. "Then, perhaps—I'll try if you promise not to laugh.” “Ailright, go ahead, date take a sip of lemonade; it will sort of put the pluck Inter yer,” and Joe poshed the eakea, round oakas with snow-white small, yellow with egga or black with frail Aa the children stood gaaing at the rich display an old gentleman pa—ad, tamed aad retraced hie steps, and also took his stand before the cake window. Ever and aiwo his kindly face wm lit up by a smile as pome remark of the chil dren's leashed hk -:M decided, for the boy, with a nod and the words, "Too jam wait here, Bis,’’ made hie way into the atom, It waa crowded, ao he had to wait his tarn, while the girl pressed her cage* little Aaee tightly against the window pens, tiptoeing on her email, here toss in exeitemeni There was quite a pretty fioeh on the child’s dattaatt ehaaha when the hey re appeared with a email porcel in hie hand, and ahe exclaimed eagerly: "Did you get Jtr ‘Ton bet,” was the a long-drawn-out "Oh P gbd as they mads their Aay along the venue, the old gaiitimiaa dees behind ■ a while they turned into a inlln—nrl Wm iQUOwea dj • street and bent their steps toward a vacant lot, half abut in by a brick wall and Httcred over with old pecking-eaaf|» bata of tarpaulin and refuse. "Is it a nice place Where-you Hue?" questioned the ^sl, as her compsakn piloted her over barrel hoops end eld erookery. A aaucy look twinkled in the boy’s ryes aa he answered: "Well, 8ia, it ain’t exactly what you’d ?daD a brownatey front; if* r on the Oeo "What’s thaif afite eves openod to their "That’s a kinder style aa is xaada up of eld thbagi as waa ehneked atway ae ae good to nobody." Than ha added: "Bare 'we are; jam Hold on a minute tOl I light the ehandattsr, <* yon xaight lit. It was built upon the ground, under a convenient air-hole, ao the ■moke wm not ao bed m it aright have been. Then Six produced a bundle that ahe had hugged carefully under her arm during the long walk. Unrolling the old apron that wm wrapped around it, aha disclosed to view a small battered coffee-pot. about aa ounce of coffee and a tiny package of brown sugar, observ ing, with a little womanly gesture; "I knowed very well that a boy wouldn’t never think of that; ao Ibegged Mm Dike to give me the coffee pot Isn’t it nice, Joe ? and ahe waa a going to throw it away and I got the coffee of a woman, aa I minds her baby some times instead of the penny, aad a real nice grocery man let me scrape out a augsrhsrrsL"^—~ - Here, all ont of breath at such a long speech for her, Sis msde the coffee and ■at it triumphantly upon the fire to boil, Joe exclaiming: "Wall, I’m blessed ! we’re a doing it right up to the handle.” While aia hovered round the fire, for fear of an unruly coal upsetting the cherished coffee-pot, Joe drew from some hidden resource a lemon and two lumps of auger. After atking the lemon he dropped it along with. the auger into a tomato can fall of water, and having stirred the beverage with hia pen-knife gravely licked the blade to aea if it waa all right. Than, aa be turned the batter-tab. into a tables covering it with a piece of sacking marked in large black letters, "This Bide Up,” he m marked: 1— "There isn’t another feller as I’d in vite to this air Ghristmas Eve shindy bnt you, Bis. Thsre’s lots on ’em as ’ud be glad to come; it isn’t every day as they gits auch a treat.” "Oh, Joe, ifajem-kgraly.” answered . Bis, with aa admiring glance at the spread that nearly resulted in the collapse of the coffee-pot, which took a notion just then to execute a dip. _ And Joe himself began to feel rather proud of his treat when everything was act forth. There was an apple opt into (our quarters and arranged upon a broken bit of a blue china plate, whilst an orange sliced into as many pieces as possible graced half of a wooden batter platter. The chief features, however, were a very email plum oaks and a ditto mince pie. The cake, placed upon the upturned bottom of a red collar-box, oc cupied the middle of the table, a tiny American flag alack in it* centre. TM lemonade, flanked by two oyster shells, was fcr want of apnea consigned to the floor, while the enodle flickered itself into little gullies down the sides of ther ginger beer bottle that did doty as a candlestick, perhaps in its anxiety for the fesat to begin. tomato can towsrd her. Rising and shaking out her little worn drees, Bis placed her anna akimbo. She remembered seeing a woman doing it once, who waa talking to a big crowd. "Ladies and gentlemen,” said Sis, "I am so very much glad that I was invited to this beaater : fnl treat, with such a love-ly plum cake, I hopes Joe will have one next Christmas Eve.” "Hear 1 hear I” called out Jos; there by causing Sis, in her oonfumou, to add hurriedly: "Many happy returns of the day, amer lumy I” shouted Joe, "it’s better nor Tilly’s ten times,’"kt which Bis re sented. herself, blushing with pleasure and feeling, perhaps, the least speck puffed up at her success. Poor little waif, it was something new for her to re ceive praise. The speeches having been given to their entire satisfaction, Joe fait hia duty ‘aa boat somewhat relaxed and, leaning back against the aids of the packing case, he remarked, carelessly: "What do yon think of my pictures, Bis?” “They’re jess love-ly, Joe; where did you get ’em V replied Bis, trying to sip the lemonade from her oyster shall, just aa she had seen ladies of her acquaint ance take their saucers full of tea. "Oh, I picked ’em up 'round about. Waa you ever at a circus, Bis Y’ "No;” and seeing that ahe had rather fallen in Joe’s estimation at this confes sion she hastily added,, "bnt I was to Moody's and Bonkey’a onct.*' This not producing aaantly the effect ahe ex- peatefl. ahe continued with: "Do you BeHeva-Jl^-Snnty Claws, Joe?” - "What? The feller what nomas down ekimney and sieh rubbish t Do you thick aa I’ve got anything soft about r Then, catching USTlook of dis appointment on the girl's face, he hastily added: "Maybe there’a something in’t fbrgirie." "Oh, I wish there was,” exclaimed.Bis, tucking up her little bare toes beneath her skirt, for, although it was rather a mild night for that time of year, still, now the fire waa dying ont and the feast Whether it should be a pie or a sake had bean the important qu<»tio*, and they hnd at lagt split the difference by investing five of Iks ten cents in a eake and the other flve in a pie. fas. It had been • large sum for Joe tt> ■pend in luxuries, not many ten* finding, their way to hia pocket; in fact, it wm hia last cent, but he waa perfectly satis fied with the result and I do not believe there were two happier children in New York that night than they, when the coffee had bean drunk to the last drop and proooanoed "elegant” (an old oyster ■an serving for a cup), and the great event of the evening the eake waa to be cut. "Here, Sis, you cut M, women always does,” and Joe shoved the penknife to ward hia companion and she, perfectly thakfnA Santa Gbrns wh# haArfot forgotten them. Thus, together tfeig pass out from the vacant kit, fallal bright anticipations of the morrow. * > * ^ * • • * a ♦ * gone since the A year hadwome mm night of Joe’s treat and the very store where Joe pnyffateed hia Christ mas Eva eake waa agiia fall of rfhotos dainties in that line, and the same old gentleman was there; but this time, in stead of gaaing In at the window, be waa making his way inside, holding by the hand* pretty little girl, with aweet bine eym and aflkv fait ha^ hugging a lovely doll posasming a mrawtnd <s' far tippet, while accompanying them was a bright, intelligent-looking boy. Both children were neatly, even handsomely ciad. All at once (he little girl ex claimed excitedly: "Oh I Uncle, there’s tie very aame eake man *a last year. Bse, Joe, there he is I I wonder if ha wfll know yott?” "Of course he won’t Sis, I’ve changed my tailor ataes then,*’ and the boy's laughing eyes twinkled with fan, while the old gentleman chuckled until he waa red in the face, and the two children had to pat him.aa - the back to keep him from choking. .- "It must be a plum eake and big,” was the little girl’s order, end ahe had her way. Yean after, when she grew np and had a nice home of her own, ahe used to tell her children about Joa’a treat and how through’ it two of New York’s little waits found such a happy home. —FnOBXKca Ramu PxxnAB. Krery Bay Lesson* In Farm Life. A fair in every villais may strike the lidbn, fast disappearing, the cold air began to make itself felt ”1 don’t s’pose Banty Claws has much time to bother about sioh a shabby little girl as me, but I’d. like a really, really doll,” and the child's eyea shone with such a happy light at the bare thought that some oue outeide the pecking'esse came very near betraying himself. "And,” continued the girl, ‘Td want him to bring you sioh a lot of things—: a love-ly big. eake.” Then, thinking that perhaps ahe was reflecting upon the smallness^ of Ahe one they had just eaten, the quickly added: "But it couldn’t be beautifuller nor your'n.” “Why, Bis, I say, what’s the matter? you've got sieh red cheeks end ” "Have I?” and Bis’s little brown hand went up to bar face at Joe’s words, as ■hs continued with— 1 ‘perhaps it’s the *,‘Cracky! what’s that r and Joegoaed open-eyed at a folded piece of paper that had fallen from the sky, as H ap peared to him, right into his lap. "If iftaayaf them boys,” ha ajairalatod, jumping up, ‘Til put a head on ’em.” "Oh ! Joe, look here, there’s writing on It, maybe, oh 1 may be it’s from Banty daws,” exlahnad Bis, AHhoogh Joe muttered "flddksticks,” hiaeymwfre round with astonishment whsuhAMd on the paper: "For Mas ter joe end Mbs Bn,” and on opening it wall aware of the Importance of the oo-1 found a flfty-oent piece and more writ- • * _ «* * _ arsas. • JS A I^AAsnsnm easton, knit her hitle brow and measured off the cake exactly with her finger be fore placing the knife to it "Holdon. Bis. till Iaakaa srsarili” help to the [This as da was ] ‘TF* •bOHktar alwaysdonewhau they little girl’s Joe refilled the oyster sheila with adat and having placed the tattered na ns of his hat Irmly upon the babkof hk head, ha strwek an oMtfcV that drew from Ste’a lips a long drawn oh I and begdh with: "Ladlas and gentlemen”— "Why, Joe, there ain’t none—there's only me and you,” interrupted Bis. "It don’t make no odds, they always •ay it if there ain’t no rich ’round,” aad Joe with, 'Vtonl bother, K continued will: "We’ve mat together as this air treat; In aa aside), you must fas usual »•. thoa.ki, l. mrtiMMd msi tt* ’ m r—*?r*r r T m '.— Ml jJwUt, 8U: VVU U uythto*mrjthb*ta horseflesh that ever lived in tha county, you eon make up your mind that the ooenteymoais athsg stek er he has got lag, or rather printed letters, which read: "BanteOlaua is very sonv that.hehod nothing left to give lea and Hia faaniyht but if they will be at packing-osse house to-mortrow morning at tan, soma one will be there. to take them to a friend of SaatajOhmn where perhapa there will a really dbfl and a beautiful eake.” "Well, ronblmaod,” waa all Joe could utter, while Bte, dapping bar bauds with delight, cried out: "Oh, Joa, I knowed than waa a Banty Claws. Isn’t he good? Jem think, he calk fanny, "Well,” answered Joe, "there’s the money and there’s the latter, aad it look queer.” "You’ll bo here, Joe, won't your questioned Bis, a little anxiously. "Yes, Igaamao(ten*! know ef any other oppointqsent to bfadar,” replied fast with a gyin, who wm rapidly ra- mafcner. and, after a reader as an absurd idba, bat according to my views it k an excellent one. Let me explain. In all small villages there ore one or more stores where the entire nigbborhood go to buy supplies. On rainy days and during the winter these stores ore more or less crowded with farmers and their sons, who discuss their farms, crops, eta We have snob a community here. At one of our atoree waa hung one day a big potato, labeled with the name of the variety, also the name of the man who grew it. Now, every cue who walked into thatiatore was attracted by this fine ecimeaf eadot-woe net many days be fore other farmers brought in sample potatoes, corn and the like. In each case it was the best the farm afforded. In this way farmers in the neighborhood became interested in tins sgiijultural show; it incited them to improve their seed and bay or exchange new varieties with each other. I can cut ten shocks more of drilled corn in one day by the following plan than I can in the old way, via,: carrying it all in the arms. After making the "book," entail the corn within reaching dis tance and aet it around the buck. After thk has been done cat the rest of the corn that belongs to the shock and tfu-ow it on In pita, then take these piles by the tops and set them aronud the small shock that had been started beforar None but the laboring man who has suffered actual pain while husking corn can appreciate what a cure for cracked and chapped hands means. Do not wash yonr hands do ring cold weather oftener than can be helped. Grease them in the morning with clean sheep’a tallow; melt it and rub it in thoroughly; the more grease you can rub in the better. At noon give them another greasing .and at night wash the hands. My word for it, by thk plan a man can hnak corn with pleasure. Save ft Up. FLOATING nUAfkl. ACCIDENTALLY HEABD. WORDH OF winnow FROM PAKAblflfl HAAtn Brather UarSaer lolls as Wswoihlse Ah—I the Right soS Wrss* of Thtoes. (Frsei Tbs Doirott Frse Tisiji? "Dttami aeb’fei things del dose' look 'xaotly right to me,” said Brother Gard ner, sa he rubbed his held heed With one hand and opened the meeting with the other. “It doan’ look ’saetiy right to see one wuth ten millyon dollars an* anodsr wuth only ten cents (applause by Bern- waji Bhin), hut yit if I was de ten millyon dollar man I wouldn’t kcerwhedcr it looked right or not.” [Sadden end to the applause.} "It,doan’ look ’sactlyright fur one man to own a great foundry, while an- oder man am obleeged to work fur him far $2 a day ["Hear t hear!” from Judge Cadaver), ftflif I wis def2 *~doy'maw I wouldn’t trow myself out of a job to spite de owner or to please a demago- fha UraaS OehoaM Whleh lata ha laas ratog aa tha Magtatar. A eftftftn# ** duced into the Mitrienfa ffald jk shape of a floating theatre eotepeugy ■aya the New York Tknm. A oertlfl- gate waa filed in the County Clerk’s Of- floe tocorpetatbig the company, of whleh the Trusters afe Mr. Will ism B. Stone, Mr. 8. Oonaat Foster, ef the firm of Otk A Oe, ; Mr. Bom a Stone. Mr. Robert M. Fryer, end Mr. Sydney Neer- gaard. The oompaay’s flepttel k plaoad FHIA gTRniNO CALX. It at OOC milliondoltorm, to be divided into 100,000 shares. The first beet, designed by Mr. fl, M. Fryer, k to be built on the eatemvan principle, and the struc ture will be supported on two steel cyl inders of 20 feet each. Tha dimensions will be 276 feet in length by 66 feet in width. The motive power will be a com pound engine of 2,600-horse power, while the draught will be 7} feet. State- of 100 will be jm xaw xmcic. .‘Thank yea, thank ysa. is not ivery gjntlemin that wad help a poor wWdj- May yee live foosvwr and f a day.” ....... - ■' . Philanthropist—"Ob, that would bee little too long. I would Hot went to live forever and e day.” Beggar—"Thm may yee Ihtt tfll the fiertindipef pedistal k oompleted.’ rooms for a company jrovided, while the seating capacity of gogue.” [The Judge subsides. ] ’ "It doan' look ’asctly right to sec one man hold offls all de time, while anoder man hat to shove a jack-plane fur a libiu’ (great rastle in Pickle Smith’s comer), but hs who shoves de jsok-planc has do respect of de community sa 1 keeps outer jail.” [Rustle dies away.] "It doan* look sactly right to see fo'ty lawyers rush to defend a criminal who has stolen money in hk pockets, while de offender who am moneyless am left todig hk way frew a ton-foot well wid an ole knife-blade (grins on ■ doaen faces); but if I was a lawyer I sbbuM aim my money any odder way except by tawin’ wood. De public doan’ look far any pertickler display of conscience on do part of lawyers, an’ darfore suffer no disappintmenta.” [Grins no longer ob servable.] "It doan’ look ’sactly right far one man to have a big brick house an' an oder man a rough bo’d shanty, bat long 1)001 tax-time de man in de shanty kin sit on de fence an chuckle over de lack dat he haint rich. "It doan’ look ’aaetly right to see one man go pusbin’ an’ swellin’ an’ crowdin’ everybody else off de sidewalk to let de public know dat he am a king-bee, bnt snob men have to carry de anxiety of bein’ in dab* to de tailor an’ of dodgin' de grocer an* of subscribin’ $26 to build s church widout a hope of bein’ stoic to pay ten cents on de dollar. "In lack, my friends, dar am heaps an’ heaps o' things dat doan’ look 'sactly right to ns at fast glance, but when ye come toj&gger it up an’ divide an' sub tract we’ve all got a heap to be thankful fur an’ to encourage us to get up airly in de mawnin’. A man kin brace hk legs an’ lay back like a mole, an’ kick away at de hull world an’ hate eberybody an’ be hated in return,. or he kin pick up sartin crumbs o’ consolasimn, crowd inter a seat in de back eand of de wagin, an’ take a heap o’ comfort, knowin* dat aomehody k wuas off dan himself. Let us accumulate to bianem.” the theatre Itself, tachtding parquet end two balconies, Will be for 1,600 people. The parquet k to be on the front of the vessel, taking np little mors then cue- third ik length, sod the stage will be in the xttddle. The engine-rooin, state rooms end dioing-rpoms and kitchen will occupy tbs after part The boat k to be Miilt by contract in N. Y. city and will cost 6260,000. It is le rejoice in The anger of Mi. John Joseph Ryan of N. Y. city has been aroused by what be considers the inability of thk Re public to protect its eitixans abroad. He waa naturalised in the Court of Common Pleea of New York city on Octo ber 18, 1880. The contempt which he now entertains for bis citisenship has in- duced him to return hk certificate to the court, and ask that hk name be stricken from tha roll. Hia latter says : —Seeing how American eLtkens are strong np unmercifully on the gallows in England, and how Meson. White bead, Curtin, Wilson and Gallagher, American citizens, have been, on the evidence of e lying informer, sentenced to life imprisonment in England without American interference, J wish to have my name erased from the Amerima citizenship roll of your court end Amer ica at large. Mr. Ryan deposited, ibis letter and hk naturali vattoe papers with Clark Rogers, in the offoe of the court, said that the documents woe Id explfan tbem- aad harried eat of the Oourt-Honsb. He signs himself ss a citizen of the Irish Republic. _ Wranr a countryman entem a small village and doesn’t drive up to the tavern steps at e breakneck speed end shout whoa 1 in s manner to indicate that hk bone can out-ran, oat-jump and out-trot Dying ef Thirst "Did you ever suffer extreme hunger or thirst ?” was asked of a Kentucky colonel who bad been relating some solid stories about himself. "Well,” he replied, "I never suffered what might be called extreme hunger, but no man knows how to endure the agonies of thirst better than I do. "I remember the time well,” he con tinued, retrospectively. "I wm on fishing excursion and became lost in the woods. For three days note a drop passed my lips. My lengthened absence finally caused alarm and a party w sent out in'search of me. They found me lying in an unconscioue condition on the banks of a little trout stream, and it was hours before any hopes of saving me were entertained.” "Was the trout stream dry?” asked one of the interested listeners. "Dry ? Certainly not How could catch fish if the stream wm dry ?" "Weil, I don’t see how you eould suf fer from thirst with e stream of water dose at hand.” "Water dose at band ?” repeated the Kentucky Colonel. "And what baa water got to do with a man’s being thirsty Y'—Philadelphia Evening Call We have the sympathy of eminent theatrical people,” said one of the Trustees. “I may my that they are enthusiastic on the subject Our ob-. ect is simply tins: There are 2,000,000 people ontside of New York end Brook- yn, distributed in towns of from 10,000 to 20,000 inhabitants, who have no op- Mitunities of witnessing a good per- m HU FOOT TM rt They were returning theatre end had nearly home when the young men observed: "Isn’t the weather cold end taw.” She must have misunderstood him. "Bew,”.she said ratbar "Yea, I like them raw, but” tinned, looking sweetly 'In hk ayes, mT "don’t you thfak (hey arw hlear Midi Whet eould he do? nummvizo on ‘‘Yee,” said the gtaeery man, "Jo has stopped drinking, k working every day and k taking good sere ef hie family. He certainly desrrves a gleet daal^f credit” * * At thk juncture Jones seme lata the ■tote and asked the grocery man if he woald trust him to e seek of floor far a few days. "No,” was the reply, ‘ times are too hard. I eaa’t give any credit” „ to stamp cat polygamy?” is. Jones—"Beoaom OongMas farm an oe without coming to the great cities. Thk is always inconvenient on account of the late return at night Moreover, greet actors will not. go to ■mall towns. Do you think Booth would play in Newark ? He would positively decline to do sol We shall visit such towns m Newport, Albany, Newark, Paterson, Stonington, and Fall Biver, anchor alongside the ilock, and. give them a first-rate perifiknanoe, snob aa could never be bevd jfa the miserably appointed theatres gjaph-togns. We shall have e regular stock company, who will live on the boat all the year round. The appointments of the theatre will be ■imply sumptuous. All that art and modern theatrical improvements can suggest will be found on board the Gladiator. We shall rival Walkek’e and the Filth avenue in point of oompbto- ness, while onr company will be e sec ond Madison Square troupe and con ducted upon exactly the same principles as those which govern that theatre. We can move from ptaoa to place daring the summer months, bnt we shall keep the company in action 866 days in the year. The cost running it will not be nearly «o much ei* that of managing e theatre on land. There wfll be no land taxes, and we can therefore afford to build a very will be one of the beet in the world. This will be only our first structure, and shall not ventt-re npon the ocean with it. Later on we shall have boats to take in the Delaware and Chesapeake Bays. We shall elact our officers in December, and next spring we hope to be able to launch (he Gladiator. First PoUtteian—"What fine boat, and a theatre which k that they should ever m WOULD DO I*. Mr. Jones—"I wonder why world Congress don’t do once Mrs. eompoeafl of men, and man don’t anything. I could kill polygamy one blow.” Mr. Jonas—"Oh, indeed I sad would do it?” Mrs. Jones—-"I would go to f-ha City and start a millinery there.” fa tee kov Bell Materfeeifliaa—"Merey I John, do you mean bv»«-«e*ielngwith ‘Hat fate-, rid revolver ah day iung, m.d you * theo logical student, too Y’ John—"I am trying to kern to sL-ol straight, ms.” Materfamfliae—"But you are to bo a clergyman. You will have no nead of such a horrid aoeomplkbmont aa that,” John—"Oh, yea, I will, too. Oomdn Fred says -that when I graduate he k going to get me a call for a nongragatten fa hk town, and you know he ttvm fa Texsa.” TUB ABVAWTAOR. First Politician- ‘T hear that the ■alary of the Govmor of MfaUpR fa only fl.OOO e year.” Second Poiitidaa - "Only *1,000? Well, flax” anyone to A Greater* of iMpslse. "GALLiMTBT AWAKENS MARLY fa the breasts of some Boston l>oys,” says the Journal of that city.: "Alefy fa the city has a okas fa the Sunday rohool of one of the leading churches, the berahip of which consists of boys who are each about eight years of age. Like moat youngsters they me of too exuber ant spirits to keep altogether m quiet ■• the demands of the aohool require, Md are prone to become roatleaa and noiay at times. A few Sundays ago-one of them wm particularly uneasy, when Am teacher, thinking fa ffh*—* him lull) quiet, said; ‘Now, George, I Affa’t kuom what I shall do with you if you are ao noky. I am afraid I shall have to punkh you for it, and think the beat way to do ao would be to make you att fa my lap.’ ‘Ah,’ said the young scape grace with an arch look, ‘if you should do that, Mxe. ——-, I think you would find thewhokckmgettfa*Bokor.’” Biuunmh k an opening of/the f heart. We find k fa vary tew peopk; end tent whkk we generally aee la nothing bet e subtle dimfamlatton to attract the A friend of Mr. Chriatianey, who wee acquainted with hk divorced wife, aaid to a reporter the day after the sudden death of Mrs, Chriatianey: "I newer knew e woman in whom the scale of emotion was ao long. It ranged from the loftiest exaltation to the deep est depression. She waa a creature swayed by impulse. One day ahe would be buoyant with hope and the next day wretched. It waa fa fine of these ex tremes that abe married Mr. Chriatianey and in the other that ahe told him on her wedding night that ahe did not love him, and earned her fata However, ahe soon returned to her state of exalted happineea. The Senator told me, even after his divorce proceedings were begun, that fa her happy moods ahe wm one of the kindest and sweeteat woman fa the world. Ion may not believe it, <* you may think be k a fondly fooikh old man, bnt Senator Chriatianey loved that woman with hk whole heart and loves her now.” A Kenner. A Mr. Welch, of Oaaoo, Me., ton to Oxford, twelve miles away, in two hours recently with hia overcoat and cowhide boots on. After running aMued- the eqaate teere a few times to abow teem "how kfaky he waa,” be ran back, not walking a atap or reating daring hk twenty-four faik run. He k a very yingwiav Re has ran from Gnaoo to Lewkton, twenty-one miles, and bafck several times. He takes a long steady lope, which he eon keep np for boors. One time, when returning from licwk- toe, he was overtaken by a man hi ■bigh, who asked him to ride. “I'm fa » hurry—can’t atop to ride." grotrled Welch. Stnog by thk insult to kia bono the man whipped np and for ten nuke tried fa vein to pern thk woudorfel ran- Mr; than tee her* gave out, but Welch tnptek. ^ / that there are very few Second PoUtieum—"But the immune# advantage of Flat Polflfafan—"In what way?" Second Politician—"A not be emoted.” uhfromocmcrarlr A Russian gentleman by the Mobbereeehekihiviteh Maine when a brake! “Weqectognock; change iroaeoggta end Beceareppecamat." "Whataky did he mjritab?” asked the Russian gentlemen in glieh of hk traveling eceepa "He was announcing the I tiona,” wee the reply. Thb foreigner smiled e superior mfle as he leaned beck fa hk Beat, aad re marked : . ..; . ., "We Bnaakna eve very meohviteh amuaedeky at the heathenkhacoff nefaee yon peopleneff have fa thk akoff* ~ there k A the rot mniAJnrARLR. "1 aee by the papers that slock fa the poetodtoe fa Oregon, which wm brought plains in 1863, and ever since. ” "Nothing nmarkabk about that.’' "Nothing remarkable?" "No. I croaaed the 1862.” s' ' "Well, what of thaff taken eerom the plains In that yaw a*) has been running ever since.” "Exactly. That dock wee probabfy with oar party. We were attacked by Indians, aad I don’t ’ running ever since. I' myself every time I think of it,’ . -*4 In the mlddte of ow ef knit hk Eli Etll that mm to hi that’s it, & A HM