The Abbeville messenger. (Abbeville, S.C.) 1884-1887, April 13, 1886, Image 7

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?r<W*'\ " "'"j^^'^v'- v ' 'l* * ( ' v r .. < ?? i 'ii ? ; "' ' As a Motlior. A sudden, piercing wail of pain, A rush of pattering feet, In blind, impetuous baste to gain The mother's solace sweet? J, A comforter, who stills tho cry j With kiss and soothing song, ' "You'll feel all better bye and bye, Hush, dear, 'twill not ache long." And soon tho magic word and kiss Distil their healing balm; Tho sobbing, frightened outcries cease? The spell has wrought its charm. Tho restloss darling slips away, His trouble quickly flown;. But while his voice rinirs out in olav. The mother sits alone. , Her busy needle falls unsought, As come, in shadowy t rain, T)im messengers, with haunting thought Of grief, and loss, and pain; Of nn xions hopes too long deferred, Of gold, proved only dross, Mysterious depths of anguish stirred? Life's unseen, crushing cross. The mother bows in grief alone, With heart no longer strong, While throbs life's mournful undertone: "Howlong^O Lord, how long?" When lo! the heavens new radiance shed As falls this blest decree: ""Behold, as thou hast comforted, The Lord will comfort theo." -?Georgia A. JWk, in Good Housekeeping. SENOEITA LOPEZ. ?????. THE HANDSOMEST FEDERAL SPY. When the Scnorita Maria Lopez made 'her appearance in Atlanta during the siege she created a decided sensatioh Among t he gallant officers who were fighting all day and dancing all night. The senorita was pretty. Her flashing eyes seemed to look right through a man, and her manner of fluttering a fan was too eloquent lor anything. .Just where the Senorita Lopez came from no one knew. She said that her father, a New Orleans 'refugee, was i ) Richmond, and that in returning from a visit to friends in Charleston she had received instructions to await his arrival here. Of course this explanation was satisfactory, and if there liad been any doubt the young lady's glittering diamonds, bright eyes, and ardent Confederate principles would have "won the day. We were not entirely given over to * sackcloth and ashes during the siege. Balls and receptions took place almost -every night, and there were various amateur entertainments. In all the festivi ties of the time the charming Spanish tsenorita bore her part. She was the acknowledged belle of the siege, and her almost rccklcss daring completely fascinated the officers, from the general down. One thing about Maria Lopez delighted us. Federal shells had no terrors for her, and when other ladies shrieked and ran oil unceremoniously from their visitors to plunge into.a bombproof, this brilliant and fearless creature ^Adwld simply clap her hands and make scornful remark about the wretched aim of the Yankee gunners. After our riuiLiii^aiiwii.t aiuuiiu niu I;ILv uuu uui'U nearly completed, the senorita rode out <".very day with some of her military admirers to view the works. This was rather perilous. Stray bullets and shells were always whizzing l?y, and it was a common thing to see a general or a colo.. nel dodge behind a tree. Hut it was soon noticed that the senorita never even <lucked her proud little head. She would sit her horse like a statue, and laugh in derision when her escorts proved themselves unable to stand the racket. 4,Oh, I would give anything to be a soldier!" she said one day, after looking through Colonel Blank's field glass. "I would glory in the opportunity of showing men how to fight and die for a great cause.'1 Perhaps this was too intense, too bom bastic, but in those clays everything that we wrote and spoke was in this fervid strain. So the senorita's talk provoked no comment, except a tribute of admiration. One day our heroine passed me at a gallop on her way back from the breastworks. Something white fluttered down . from her riding habit. I picked it up, but the lady was out of sight, riding like the wind. Thoughtlessly I allowed the paper to come open. What I saw troubled me not a little. I saw traced out in detail the plan of fully half of our forts 4ind trenches. The paper also contained the location of certain Government buildings, and an estimate of our forces. There was but one thing to do. ] bated to get a pretty woman into trouble, but I had to do my duty. In an liour'j lime the paper was in the hands of the f>iv?vost-marshal. The next day I was brought face to face with Maria Lopez Tho hearing was in private, and a circh of colonels and Majors sat around the ac cuscd, frowning at me as if I had heei guilfy of aim* criminal act. When I re latcd the c:rcQin'irtnccs attending th finding of tne paper, the little Spaniart looted at the oilicors with a merry smile th ink.11 said she, "that you don' y VCW?. to, hear from me. I will say, how y' tfcit I never saw the paper, ant Cbdvifpie,fconUl not have dropped it man nerhims found it. lint, hi cn^^-;vvi|4?iiave seen mc drop it." Shi on the provost-marshal / <?lgg||feUhat individual. "Then lnust^^HJBflfcfli.stakc here. We do no doubt^^^V^Bity, sir, but we had bet ter heanj^HflHj? this." I waJKjHfeded and abashed Knowing^BHHHBk about the ways o I K mm**? the world, I hastily retired, thanking my stare that I had saved my head. In a day or two the Senorita Lopez disappeared. Her lovers did not have time to mourn her loss, because Slocum's corps crossed the Chattahoochee, and our forces lllirl tn 11-nf nnf in Unnmr T ????o destined to see the senorita again. Many of us failed to follow Ilood's army south. We were whirled about in such a vortex of confusion that we were glad to escape with our lives. Among other flotsam and jetsam I was thrown beyond the Federal lines. Stranded in , Nashville, at that time a vast military camp, I felt badly enough. I could not go South, and I could not get a pass to go North. One night I went to the theatre. During one of the scenes there was a buzz, and people stood up to look at a man in the dress circle just above my head. Finally I rose, as somebody said: "lie is the most successful guerilla and spy on the Union side." I stood up until my face was on a level with the railing of the dress circle. It was a wonder that I didn't faint! Looking calmly, mockingly, into my ej*es was the handsomest man I ever saw. He was dressed in a glittering uniform, and wore diamonds. That clear cut, dark face, those burning eyes, the slight scar under the left ear?there could be no mistake. I seized my overcoat and rushed out of the door just in time to hear the alleged Senorita Lopez say in a voice like a bugle: "Arrest that man." A wave of darkness came over me. An officer caught me bv the arm. I felt that I was lost. If the senorita was not only a man, but an enemy, I had no mercy to hope for. There was a sudden tumult, a wild cry of fire, and then a crowd surged down the stairway. When I picked myself up the "sfficcr who had arrested me lay on the .ridewalk with a fractured skull. I limped quietly away, and took the outgoing train for Louisville. I had no passport and trusted to luck. "Passes, gentlemen," shouted a sleepy lieutenant, as he passed through the car. I kept my hear] bowed down, with my hat over my eyes. "See here, show your pass," said the officer. A grull man behind me spoke up and said: "You don't want to see it twice. He showed it to you a minute ago." "Beg pardon," said the soldier, slightly confused. IT> w.nt on, and I was safe at last. I have never seen the senorita since, and I have no desire ever to meet her, or rather him, again. He would have had me shot as a spy beyond a doubt if it had not been for my lucky escape at the theatre.?Atlanta (On.) Constitution. Teaching Deaf Mules to Speak. Deaf mutes may be taught to speak and to understand articulate speech by merely watching the motion of the vocal organs. This method is by no means novel, as it has long been practiccd in some of the schools of Europe, and the earliest attempts to teach the deaf and dumb to speak appear to have been as successful as those in modern times. It is recorded in history that a deaf man was taught to pronounce words and sentences by an English Bishop in the year 685, and from that time isolated cases of the same sort arc mentioned till the latter part of the eighteenth century, when a j school for teaching of articulate speech lo muLcs was Muiricu in ucrmany. i nc method of this touching is very simple. It consists merely in training the pupil, by imitating the position and action of the vocal organs of the teacher, to utter articulate sounds. This, it is found, is not a very difficult task for the pupil, but it is extremely tedious, requiring long and unintermitting practice, and the greatest patience on the part of the teacher. In Germany this art of lip-teaching has been much more successful than it has ever Unnn in TT n rvl o n rl /m* A 1 ? w^?? uii^iuiiu KJI iiiiiLilUUf JJt;i 1111JJ3 Ul> cause the German language is more-adapted than the English to acquired speech on this plan. It seems to be generally admitted, however, by all schools that i have tried this method of instruction, that though it is often highly successful in special cases by the help of much individual teaching, it cannot be used to [ any effect in large institutions where class instruction is absolutely necessary. Ani other system, however, has been intro5 duced of late years into English and * American schools. It is called visible . speech, and was invented by A. Melville J Bell, a professor of vocal physiology in - England, about 1848. It consists of a ? species of phonetic writing, based not - upon sounds but upon the action of the i vocal organs in producing them. The 1 characters of this universal alphabet reveal to the eye the position of these ort jjans in the formation of anv sound which - the humnn mouth can utter. In 1809 i this alphabet was first applied in England to the instruction of deaf mutes; g and in 1872 it was introduced by Profese sor Abraham Bell, the son of the invent or, into the Clark Institution at Northg ampton, Massachusetts, where it is now t the only system of articulation teaching r> e n-.if rx j . usca. rruicssur dbh wjou uitcr opened ? school for instructing teachers in this sys. tern in Boston, which, we think, is still f carried on.?Inter-Ocean, - . '? / * ' ' 11 11 Mad Fishes. The South American and African mud fishes live in streams where the water dries up in the hot season, and were it not for some such provision, they would soon become extinct. When the watei gives signs of failing, they descend into the mud, and encasing themselves in balls lined with some secretion, patiently await the coining of the waters again. For some months they exist in this fashion, hermetically sealed up, as it were, and in some cases in Africa they have been deprived of water for two seasons. A party of travellers once encamped ever such a dried-up pond in Africa, that gave little evidence of ever having held water. Soon after a terrilic rain-storm came on, filling the place so that they were obliged to move to a higher location. One of the men returning, however, for some reason, in wading to the side of the camp, found, to his amazement, thai; * the water was alive with fishes. Opinion was divided as to their origin; part 01 uie men tiiougnt it was a case of spontaneous generation, while the majority felt positive that they had rained down. The truth was, that the rain had soaked into the imprisoned mud-fishes, releasing them from their baked cells, and surrounding them once more with water. The air-bladders of these fishes arc divided into compartments, and have all the requisites of a true lung, and they are as truly amphibians as the frogs and toads. Other amphibians have different methods of withstanding the drought. Thus the llassar, when the water begins tc dry up in the pools and streams, does not encase itself in a mud ball, but leaves the heated and fsist disappearing liquid, starts overland in search of a better sup ply. On the coast of China, and in various other localities, is found a lish that is so lively on dry land that it. is ax difficult tc capture as a frog or toad, leaping alonp the rocks from stone to stone, and where it is particularly sl;ppery, avoiding its human pursuers?YoutWa Companion. Crests for Americans. Since a well-known heraldic stationer and engraver of London has established ; ? iimiini. u:-. *i.? -1 i ? -- ? MKIUV II Alt tillO Vil > tU'J llClllillUl 1UI coats-of-arms, mottoes, crests, family J pedigrees and genealogical arboreulture | has become a fashionable craze among many who have more money than brains. Those who have no family worth mentioning have suddenly acquired a strong interest in their ancestry, and even those whose forefathers, centuries auro, were proud to belong to the family that recognized "the lion of the tribe of .Judith" as its national emblem are. now seeking for more modern insignia with which to ^decorate their silverware. In brief, "nobodies" are trying to be somebodies, and large sums of money are being spent to gratify uncultured vanity and ignorance. Aided by this imported adjunct to family distinction the ambitious New Yorker may have his coat-of-arms "emblazoned" on vellum for as many dollars as it would cost him shillings in England. If he desires a crest he can get it at the same proportionate figure, but if he wishes a "genealogical tree" the expense is increased by the time required in searching out another family pedigree of the same name. Should a motto be wanted he can. choose his own and have it done into genuine Latin for a small amount. In any case the once-honored family Bible, with its record of births, deaths and marriages, is threatened with extinction,?JV<w> York Commercial. A Clever Capture of Thieves. James Andrews was chargtu with stealing meat from his master, Mr. Chapman, a butcher 011 the Mile End road, London. There is nothing extraordinary in this, but the method of detection was something new in the way of thief-catch ing. Mr. Uliapman ma himself In a box and watched the accused, who was his assistant. He found that he gave away large quantities of meat to different parties, who presumably paid him certain amounts afterwards for doing so. Mr. Chapman arranged an electric light at the top of his house, the wire of which was eonncctcd with the box. Two constables were % nlacnd oiitsiflo ?nrl wlion. ever one of the thieves came in and was served Chapman switched on his electric light as the thief went out the door. The constables in this way captured thief after thief until somebody gave their accomplice, Andrews, a hint, and when he tried to escape Chapman blazed on-the full force of the light antf he was gathered in. Nor To-night, George! ?"Darling, I riw to a question of privilege," said George, as he left his seat and approached Miranda's chair. | . "Not to-night, George," and she shrunk back from him. 4'Ah, Miranda, do not say those cruel words. Give me but one kiss 1" "Reflect, George?oh, reflect, I would save you from an awful experience." "Darling, I can not accept your noble sacrifice. Why not to-night?" "If I yielded, it would drive you from my aide forever. No, George, no," and the gold in her front teeth glistened, as she whispered with intense dramatic effect, "I ate onions to-night at the curfew hour."? Tid-bit?. iijJ'-i 11 ,-ifc .V.; SSfei: I PARTIAL TO PIGEONS. Persons who Find Diversion in Training the Birds. Peculiarities of Pigeons, and Prices Paid for the Best Varieties. Leading pigeon fanciers say that there is increased interest in the raising of pigcons, particularly among the ladies, who earc for them at odd moments at home and obtain from the sale of the birds considerable pin-money. Mr. Benton I lankins, of New Jersey, who is one of the lw.?* : r "i utot-nimn 11 {iiguou lunciers oi mis country, nnd whose loft of nearly 500 birds includes some of the handsomest and most valuable in the world, says: "Every one of my birds knows mc, nnd whenever I enter the loft they flo^k nround. Most people have the idea that pigeons must be bred in the dark. This is not the case, for it makes them wild. All mine are bred in the light, in glass boxes painted white, about six by eight inches in size, and with hay inside for the nest. A curious fact 1 have noticed about pigeons is their loyalty to each other. Let a pair be once mated and they will never forsake one another while alive. How long do they live? Twelve years, and keep up their full vigor for that period. "VVc feed them on Canada peas, wheat, cracked corn and occasionally a little liempseed. The weight of a pigeon varies from three or four ounces to several pounds. The biggest figure I have heard that was paid for a pair of pigeons in this country was $500. It was given for a pair of carrier pigeons." "Will you tell me something about the different kinds of pigeons?" Dr. McCook, a noted lover of the bird, was asked. "Any one having owned pigeons of any kind will know what is meant by common pigeons. They are not of any distinct breed or color. There are but very few common pigeons now in which some traces of the higher classes cannot be detected. At the same time I believe that were a ilock of the so-called common pigeons kept entirely to themselves for a number of years, color-markings and other characteristics of the higher classes would entirely disappear and the birds ' would be more likely to resemble in color and shape those they originally came from?the Blue Rocks. Next to a common pigeon, perhaps the best known, at least by name, is the Homing Antwerp, which is the carrier pigeon, so called. It is the bird known to make long flights. The fan-tails arc special favorites. The white ones arc the most common and easiest to breed, but they are also to be had in black, brown, blue, red, and yellow. The two latter arc rare, and easily bring from $10 to $30 a pair. Fans, with fowl feathers, mottled or checkered, are not of much value. No breed of pigeons has so many varieties and subvarieties as the tumbler pigeons, nor is there a vrriety so well-known that i.> as yet so little understood by pigeon breeders. Many who own them expect them to perform, whether the birds are given, a chance or not. Usually they are kept with a lot of other birds and are flown with them. There are also many tumblers who do not tumble at all. All of the short-faced varieties are not supposed to be performers, although I have seen some tumble very well. Pouters are the first selection of many prominent pigeon fanciers, and rarely is this bird entirely abandoned for other varieties. Mr. Becker, of Baltimore, who is an enthusiastic breeder of pouters, has at present probably the best birds of that variety in the con A try. They are somewhat difti.....I A --1 cutt i.w i/itAAi, <11111 ?uu\i uuc? uiwiiys uumand high prices. Fifty dollars for a pair of tirst-class birds would not he extravagant in this country, and in England perhaps the same birds would bring twice that amount aud more. I remember that Mr. Schell, of Brooklyn, had one he refused $230 for. They can be had in pure white, black, red, yellow and Isabella.?New York Mail and Express. To Suceed in Lift). Learn your business thoroughly. Keep at one thing?in no wise change. Observe system and order in all you do aud undertake. Never fail to keep your appointments, or to be punctual. Be self-reliant; do not take too much advice, but rather depend on yourself.. Never be idle, but keep your hands or minds usefully employed except when sleeping. Use charity with all; be generous in thought and deed; help others along life's thorny pathway. Accustom yourself to think and act vigorously, and be prompt and decided for the right ngainst the wrong. ' Make no haste to be rich, remembering that sinuli and steady gains give compotenoy, with tranquility of mind. , ATnlr/> T\t?A?miunu A Ittrnira iTKirvu |ii VIHI.H..7, i\i M tijra oj/uarv the truth, and nothing but the truth; aiul in your business relations be guided by strict integrity and unflinching*honesty. Develop a wealth pf character by personal courage. Possess the courage tb speak your mind when it is necessary you should do so, and to hold your tongue when prudent you should do so; to acknowledge your ignoranco rather lhar ?cck credit under false pretense* 'k-tp 'r$Trl v> ' . " V A-J PEARLS OF THOUGHT. Pilcnco does not always mark wisdom. Sooner or later a man's thoughts will come into fruitage in deeds. Too much overcharges nature, and turns more to disease than nourishment. Thou may'st -as well expect to grow stronger by always eating, us wiser by always reading. 'Tis thought and digestion that makes books serviceable, and gires health and vigor to the mind. Ten thousand of the greatest faults in our neighbors are of less consequence to ns than one of the smallest in ourselves. Inquisitive people are the funnels of conversation; they do not take in anything for their own use, but merely to pass it'to another. The adversaries of a good c?hse are like men who strike at the coals of a large tire; they scatter the coals and propagate the lire. Character is proof against the scoffings of ridicule, and the consciousness of doing right takes the sting *>ut of the most envenomed jest. When we are in the company of sensible men we ought to be doubly cautious of talking too much, lest we lose two good things, their good opinion and our own improvement, for what we have to say we know, but what they have to say wn k'nnw nnf Coughing* A hair tickling the throat will keep up a spell of coughing, if not resisted, as loii? as the presence of a large accumulation of the products of disease. "VVo heard Brown-Scquard say in a lecture: "Coughing is a natural, reflex action, wholly unintelligent. Not much is needed when it can do any good at all. When it cannot do any good it should he resisted." In nine cases out of ten it can be resisted by diverting the attention, becoming absorbed in something. A simple refnedy, important to all invalids, is, when the spasm is coming, to resist it by obstinately inhaling a long breath and "paying it out" slowly. Useless cough irritates throat and lungs, and can itself produce or perpetuate sore thmat, etc. In church it is often epidemic. An English exchange says: " 'Do not cough the preacher down' is the much-needed advice given in The Sicord and Traicel. If people have bad colds they had better nurse themselves at home, or at least restrain their coughing, when attending public worship, ;?s much as possible. Even Mr. Spurgcon, we are told, sometimes feels that he is nearly barked down by the thousands who respond to his appeals of love by peals of coughing. The late Lord Ellcnborough once remarked in court, 'Some slight interruption one might tolerate, but there seems to be an industry, of coughing.' " Coughing is unpleasant to all who hear it. To the cougher it is like medicine, of which the wise man's rule is to take as little as possible.?ATac York. Witness. Artomno IVni'il ViltfAwa n> otiuiiii 11 in 'i via JUUlbVl D? ! Artcmus Ward, speaking of editors, j says: "Before yon go for an editor, voting man, pause and take a big think! | Look around, and see if there is not an omnibus or some meat cart to drive, some soil somewhere to be tilled or a clerkship to be tilled?anything that is reputable or healthy, rather than going for an editor, which is a bad business at best. AVc arc not a horse, and consequently have not been callcd upon to furnish the motive power for a threshing machine, but we fancy that the life of an editor who is forced to write, whether he feels like it or not, is much like the steed in question. If the yeas and neighs could be obtained, we believe that the intelligent horse would decide that the threshing machine is preferable to the sanctum editorial. Thtf editor's work is never done. He is drained incessantly, and no wonder that he dries up prematurely. Other people can attend banquets, weddings, etc., visit halls of dazzling light, and enjoy themselves in a variety of ways, but the editor cannot. He must tenaciously stick to the quill. The press, like a sick baby, must not be left to run by itself even for a day, or somebody indigj nantly orders the carrier-boy to stop bringing 'that paper. There is nothing in it; I won't have it in the house.'" , To Clean Glass and Silverware. Egg shells crushed intc 3mall bits and; shaken well in decanters three parts lillcd with cold water will not only clean them thoroughly, but make the glass look like new. By rubbing with a flannel dipped in the best whiting the. brown discoloraj tinn miiv hi? tjikcn off muva in whiph n?ia. tards have been baked. Again, all of us are aware that emery powder will remove ordinary stains from the white ivory I knife handles, and that the lustre . of morocco leather is restored by varnishing with white of egg. Nothing, it is said, is better to clean silver with than alcohol or ammonia, finishing with a little whiting on a soft cloth. When putting away the silver tea or coffee pot which is not in use every day lay a stick across the top under cover. This will allow frfcsh air to get in and prevent the mustincss of fc'io contents familiar to boarding house mffercro.?Art and Decoration. ' -j.'V - 1 > ' * ' tr .'' - * ' 4 x ? L.OVO Now. You will lovo mo tho day I lit) dying, Oh! love 1110 thou living, "While yot from a full heurt replying, I give to your giving. What gain hath my lifetime of loving, If you pass it all by To give 1110 back treblo my loving In the hour 1 <lie? All anguish, all maddest adoring, Will be vain in that day, Though you knolt to mo then with imploring, What word could I say? Oh! love me, then, now, that it quicken My heart's failing breath. Why wait till to love ia to sicken At tho coldness of death? ?Independent. HUMOROUS. A very expensive cane?Hurricane. A poor rillc?Picking a pauper's pocket. The thermometer gains notoriety by degrees, so to speak. Is there any difference between a traveling dress and u walking suit? The letter-carrier that gets around quickest is the cylinder of a printing press. Some women swallow flattery as babies swallow buttons, without any idea of the trouble that may follow. The evil consequences of smoking are illustrated by Mt. Vesuvius, which constantly suffers from eruptions. "Is the tide going out?" said a sailor to a gentleman who was passing a house where a marriage had just taken place. "We never hear anything more of tho phonograph. It has probably gone into a barber shop and been talked to death. Larry Lazybones (who had been told to start in to do a week's ploughing): "I wish I were dead?that's what I wish I'* Humorous grandfather: "Yes, Larry, that's jest like ye! Ye want to be lyin' in yer grave, takin' it easy all the rest o' yer life." Looking out of the window one evening, a little girl saw the bright full moon in the eastern sky, and, apparently only a few inches from it, the beautiful planet Jupiter, shiningalmost as brightly as tho mooil itself. Gazing intently, on them a moment, she exclaimed, 4'0 papa! mama! see! The moon has laid an egg!" The Ball that Wounded Hancock. Dr. Lewis W. Read, of Norristown, thus relates the circumstances of General Hancock's recovery from his wound received at Gettysburg: "I was medical director of *he Pennsylvania Reserves, and just before the 1st of November, I860, I came home on twenty-four hours leave of absence. I called to see# the General, who was in bed at his father's residence. I found him very much disheartened. I-Je had grown thin, and looked pale and emaciated. He said ho felt as if he was going to die, and that he had been probed and tortured to such an extent that death would be a relief. I endeavored to cheer him up, and as I was about bidding him farewell he said: 'Good by< Doctor; I may never see you again.' "I had my hand on the door knob of his chamber when?he said: 'See here, Doctor, Iwhy don't you try to get this ball out. I have had all the reputation in the country at it; now let's have some of the practical.' "He was lying in the bed with his wounded limb actually flexed, and all the probing ha<l been (lone with his leg bent at right angles. The ball had hit him just below the right groin, within an inch of the femoral artery, while he was sitting in the saddle with his legs distended. I went down to my office for a probe with a concealed blade, and on my return Dr. Cooper and myself succeeded in straightening the limb and placing it as near as possible in the position it was when the ball struck him. I inserted the probe and it dropped fully eight inches into the channel and struck the ball, which was imbedded in the sharp bone which you sit upon. In ? weeks' time the General was out on crutches, and in two weeks more he attended a Masonic gathering at Odd Fellow.V Hall. I forget the caliber of the bullet, but it was a big Minie ball."? Philadelphia Time?. Had Beeome Monotonous. A New Yojker lately, met one of the "American colony" in Canada, and in course of conversation asked him the cause of his seclusion. < "Why, I was a county treasurer in Jl linois, and was $18 short in my accounts," was t]io frank reply. * "You didn't have to skip for $13 did you?" "Yes, sir." 4tI should have thought you could raise that among your friends." "Yes you mny think so, but if you had seen 'em put up $2,700 tif save mo on the other term you'd understand that. the thing had become rather monotonous."? Wall Street Netot. i C(tn*e and Effect. Husband (turning up hit colla w). ? "There's another cold wave coming in a ........ < ? ?? VLTIJ IOW lUlliUI'C.N Wife.?"AVhy, Charles, h.>*r do you ^ know?" H\Ssband (teith a thiter).<?" 'Caiis* I forgot to bring hfeme that now UtnaU for you."?Puck. *, ^