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. 'r ' - v.- ' ' 'V'.' ' . RICHEST OF WOMEN. SHE HAN MIVjIJIONH ON MILLIONS. WondrouH hlKtory of Mme. CouMino, of Santiago. Chili. ' The Croesus of South America is a woman. Donna Isadora Cousino, of Sau tiago, Chili, and there are few men or women in the world richer than she. There is no end to her inoncv and no limit to her extravagance, and people call her the Countess of Monte Cristo. While her husband lived he was conj i ii l i. -i i I hkiitcu me nenest man in uiiiii ana sne the richest woman, for their property was kept separute, the husband managing his estates and the wife her own, and people say she was altogether the better administrator of the two. He left his property to her, and thfl two estates were united. From the coal mines alone Seuora Cousino has an income of $80,000 a month. I do not believe there are any mines in the world which pay so large a Erofit upon the capital invested and the ibor expended. They lie at the extreme southern limit of the populated district of Chili, just above where the archipelago that you will notice on the map begins. Talcaliuano is the nearest port of importance, but the towns at the mines are Lota and Coronel. The coast is quite abrupt here, and the mines are entered bv shafts that are immediately over the water of Lota Bay, so that chc coal is drawn on trucks to the mouth of the mines and dumped into launches and lighters which are towed out to the anchorage of ships. It is said that it, costs only $1.35 ji ton to mine and de liver this coal on shipboard, and she will not sell an ounce of it at ? price less than $7.50 a ton, just a shade lower than the cost of imported Cardiff. Ar the deposit is inexhaustible, and the widow has a monopoly, it will be surmised that this portion of her property will yield enough revenue to keep the wolf from the door. She has a fleet of eight iron steamships, of capacities varying from 2,000 to 3,600 tons, built in England, and used to carry the coal up the coast as far as Panama, and around the Straits of Magellan to Buenos Ayres and Montevideo. At Lota she has copper and silver smelting works, besides the coal mines, and her coaling ships bring ore down the>coast as a return cargo from upper Chili, Peru, and Ecuador, while those that go to Buenos Ayres bring back beef and flour and merchandise for the consumption of her people. jnme. uousido owns every house in the town of Lota, and every one of its six or seven thousand inhabitants is dependent upon her for support. In Coronet her proprietorship is not quite so. complete, but nine tenths of the people, and there are 8,000 there, are on her pay rolls. She has brick kilns and potteries, as well as smelters, and makes all the tiles and earthenwar6 used on the west coast. It is said that slip pays out from $100,000 to $120,000 a month as wages in these two towns, most of which comes back into her pocket through the supply stores, where she sells food and clothing to her own people. Although Lota is only a mining town, as dirty and smoky as any of its counterparts in Pennsylvania, it is the wiaow's favorite place of residence, and she is now building a mansion that will cost a million dollars at least. The arcnitoct ana cinet builder ure Frenchmen -whom she imported from Paris, and much of the material is imported also. Not long ago she shipped a cargo of hides and wool in one of her own k steamers to Bordeaux, and it is to come back laden with building supplies for this mansion. 6he has no time to go across the sea herself, and the captain of her ship will bring with him decorators and designers, and upholstery men, who arc to take a look at things and finish the interior for her occupation regardless of expense. This marision stands in the centre of what vs undoubtedly the finest private park in the world, including 250 acres of land, laid out in the most elaborate manner, filled with statuary, fountains, grottos, caves, cascades, and no end of beautiful trees and plants. The improvement of the natural beauty of the place is said to have cost Senora Cou% eino nearly a million dollars, and she has a force of thirty gardeners constantly at work. The superintendent is a Scotchman, and he told me his orders were to make the _ place a paradise, without regard to cost. In this park there are many wild animals and domesticated Eets. not only natives of the country, ,.f i t-? -1.1? i- - ? muv *iiij;uii.lu iiuiu utncr iuiiuh^ HnQ IUC flowers are wonderful. Her ability as a manager is remarkable, and Bhe directs every detail, re ceiving weekly reports from the ten or twelve superintendents who have immediate charge of her affaire. While she is generous to profligacy, she requires a strict account of every dollar earned or spent upon her vast estntes, and is very ?uurp at driving a bargain. One ot her Scotch superintendents told me that there was no use in any one trying t? get ahead of the Madam* 'You cannot move a stone or a stick but slie knows it," he said. In addition to her landod property and her mines, she owns much city real estate, the rental of which brings her ?t/veral hundred thousand dollars a year, and she is the principal stockholder in the largest bank in Santiago. Not long ?go she presented a park of a hundred acres to the people of that city and a , ruce course adjoining it. | The Madam is very fond of young jncn, and has from fifteen to twenty young fellows around her constantly, to whom she gives all the money they can spend. In return she expccts them to entertain her. While the United States fleet was at Valparaiso not long ago she invited all the officers to spend a week with her at "Macul" and Santiago, and sent a special train to bring them up. Admiral Upshur and about twenty of his officers accepted the invitation, lodged at the widow's houses, rode in her carriages, and had a high old time at her expense. She would not allow ono of them to spend a dollar, and sent word to all the shops and restaurants that anything the American officers ordered was to be charged to her account. There was a good deal of { Blr- .. . .... ? \i<' - v WS ... . . < :. W&totll i.K. scandal over this affair at Santiago, and the Americans who were not asked to share the madam's hospitality felt at liberty to talk about It as severely as they pleased. But the officers were in no way to blame, for this was one of tlie lady's freaks and her method of having a good time. Every person of distinction who comes to Chili is entertained by her, and her balls are marvels of social splendor. Lady Brassey, in her story of the voyage of the Sunbeam, gives an account of her acquaintance with Senora Cousiuo and the splendor in which she lives. .Last spring the Madam fitted out one of her coal ships, provisioned it in the most extravagant manner, hired an orchestra of twelve picces, and invited fifty or more ladies and gentlemen to take a cruise. The party visited Juan Fernandez, the island that is sacred to the memory of Robinson Crusoe, and then sailed down the coast to Terra del Fuego, where several days were spent in search of a good time. From the stories that are told the errand was successful, and the gossips of Chili will never cease to talk about it. The cruise lasted about three weeks, and cost the Madam many thousands of dollars. ' Fabulous stones are told of her exI travagance. A million of dollars or so is a trifle to a wolnan whose income is so enormous, and there is nothing in the world that she will not buy if she happens to want it. She doesn't care much for art, but has a collection of diamonds that is verjr large and valuable, and sometimes appears loaded down with them. Usually she looks very shabby, as she has no taste or ambition in dress, and her party costumes .that arc ordered from Paris arc seldom worn. Of late she has been a sufferer from sciaticn, and it has n">t only destroyed the madam's own pleasure, but has seriously impaired the comfort of those who have relations with ^ier. Although a comparatively young woman, being sonicWhprfi lwf.wppn fnrtu.fivn nil/1 tiff,' vnoro _ ?Vi ?. I II T V UilU Uil/J ^ Will o of age, she declares that she will not marry again, and there is not a man in Chili who lias the courage to ask her. Not long since she took a fancy to a young German, with a very blond beard ! and hair, and insisted that he should j give up his business and make his home with her. The inducements she offered were sufficient, and for several months the young man has been tied to her apron-strings, having the ostensible employment of a. private secretary. But the Madam is very fickle, and will probably throw him overboard when the whim seizes her, as she has many others. Neither of her girls inherits their mother's business ability, or at least they have not developed it, but arc very popular in society, and Senorita Isadora, the elder, has a great deal of musical talent, performing on the violin and piano. Both are very bright and pretty, one being about 17 and the other 19 years of age. Their brother, a young man of 28 or 24, will j share the property with them; and it is I quite an unusual thing for a boy with so ; much money to develop tlip business capacity and industry that he shows, lie looks after the estnncia atMacul, and spends from six to eight hours a day in the saddle, riding about the place, seldom joining in the festivities that his mother enjoys so much, and being quite pronounced in his disapproval of her extravagance. lie is to marry a young lad}' of rather humble Rtation and it is expected that the Meiggs mansion, which I have described, will be given to the bride by his mother as a wedding gift. The Story of Winston. I Winslow's exposure and flight were curious. He had secured a discount on a note indorsed by a prominent and wealthy Boston merchant. The banker who accommodated him was Asa Potter, of the Maverick National Bank. An hour after he got the money the indorscr came in. Mr. Potter carelessly turned over the note on his desk, where it still lay, and remarked to his caller, casually, ''I didn't know that you had dealings with Winslow." The gentleman looked carefully at the note, started, looked closer and then said: "It ra a forgery." Mr. Potter enjoined secrecy on him, took his hat and went out. He found Winslow without much trouble and said, without any show of excite uiuih, uut niui Hume euipnasis, * winslow, I don't think I had better keep this note of yourft. In fact, I don't think you want me to keep it. You have the money by you yet, I have no doubt. We will exchange, if you please." The forger took in the situation at once, and offered to go and get the cash. Mr. Potter went with him. The money was procured and the note taken up. The next morning Winslaw was gone. The name of the person of whom he got the money that he repaid to Mr. Potter has j never been made public. This was the j story as told me by a Boston man, who had exceptional facilities for inside information at the time.?Neto York Tribune. Using tho Water. Attention is called by the Coal Trade Journal, in an elaborate article, to the fact that the value of water as an aid to blasting, when used in connection with explosives, is rapidly becominc recocr nized in this country as well as in the larger mines and quarries of Europe. Among the favorable points pertaining to this process, special mention is made of the fact, that the powder, in exploding, bursts the tube containing the water, and?careful estimates showing ?with increased power or (pcplosivc violence This is because the rending force is extended through the water, in : * ? ?**? nutii^u vt mi ecriuill WCIl-KHOWn f>rinciplcs of hydrostatics, over the enargcd interior of the bore hole due to the spnee occupied by the water tube. A much larger quantity of the material to be mined or quarried is thus brought down or loosened with a smaller quantity of tne explosive used. Again, the heat given off by the burning of the powder and surrounding gases converts a larger proportion of the water into steam, the elastic force of which assists in the operation of blasting, and the etepm and remaining water together extinguish the flame and flash of the powder. G'oorge Washington occasional swcjre when t he uUh t c. y nun . .. 4/ t'.J, ; '.'/J 1. ' v-" . v V t " ; WHAT HASHING IS LIKE. Tlie Enjoyable Kxperlence ot onp who Han Tried it. The following account of the sensations of hanging is sent us by a correspondent who is a member of a kind of "Suicide Club," and was actually, he says, partly hung the other day, in the presence of several friends. A good stout rope had been obtained. This was securely fastened to the rafters of the barn roof. I pulled at the rope with my hands to make sure that ifc would not break. Then I permitted myself to be blindfolded and mounted on a chair. For the moment, I admit, I Was weak enough to turn pale and tremble. I soon, however, recovered my presence of mind. Putting my head through the noose I gave the signal. I felt the chair drawn from under me. There was a great jerk and I felt a violent pain in my neck, as though my scarf had all of a sudden become too ti^lit. Now comes the most curious part of my experience. After the first feeling of torture, which I admit was decidedly severe, I lost consciousness. I seemed ?v MV .? uvv* tatu (k uvn ^TUl IU^ more bountiful than anything imagined by the poets. I was swimming, me thought, in a sea of oil. The feeling was exquisitely delicious. As I swam easly and without effort through the liquid mass, 1 noticed afar off an island of the most glorious emerald green in color. This it was my wish to reach. 1 swam lazily and contentedly on. The sea kept every instant changing its hue, though it remained of the same substance throughout. At one instant it was a mass of gold, as though the sun were shining brilliantly on it. The next moment it was a vivid blood-red; but there was nothing terrible or disgusting in this new color. It ke,)t changing, in fact,to all the hues of the rainbow, yellow and red being the prominent tints. I got nearer and nearer to the isle. As I approached it there sprung out suddenly from the ground a number of j people strangely transfigured, whose faces seemed to be known to me. I at last reached the land. A maguificent | chorus of voices, human and those of [ birds, burst forth. I closed my eyes in ecstasy. I floated calmly on to the shore, and lay as c child in its cradlc, slightly I weakened from, as I supposed the enervating effect of the oily matter in which I had been swimming. At last I opened my eyes. The magic charm was at onee dispelled. The harmony ceased. The faces were still peering at me with an expression of eager curiosity, but 1 perceived that rhcy belonged to members of our society. The pain in my neck was great. I was now in entire possession of my senses. My friends had fortunately cut me down in time. I was still weak?too weak to at once relieve my friends* curiosity. When I was able to speak I told them my experiences. Though I drew a charming picture ol the bliss 1 had felt, not one of them would consent to try my experiment. They all considered my conduct heroic, but absolutely refused to emulate me. They si:id I looked so ghastly.?Pall Mall j Gazette. He Could Take Care of Himself. "I admit I'm pretty green," said a passenger from Freeport, "but I guess I can take care of myself. I have just been spending a few days and a few nights in Chicago seeing the sights, and I've seen 'em. Here I am, on my way home, safe and sound, and with my purse in my pocket, though I've had some narrow escapes. Night before last 1 wandered cown on Third avenue. Don't kuow how I happened to be down there, but there I was. Just wandering around looking at the sights. Pretty soon I noticed three men following me. That scared me, but I kept my wits ' about me all the same. I looked for a policeman, but of course couldn't see any. I was about to cut and run for it, but as I looked hack I saw the fellows coming for me. An idea struck me, and I turned quickly and walked toward them. Before they could d:> a thing or say a word I exclaimed : "Will you please give me ten cents to get a night's lodging with!" "You ought to have seen the look or disgust that came on those fellows' faces as they swore at me and walked off. Yet at that very minute I had down here in my pants pocket the money I had got for six car loads of 'hogs. I know I'm mighty green, but I guess I can take care of myself." The Briny Sea. One of the first things a boy will do on arriving at the seashore is to taste j the water, to see for himself if a' whole ocean can be salt. If % box six feet deep were filled with water and allowod to evaporate under the sun, there would be two inches of salt left on the bottom. Taking the average depth of the ocean to be three miles, there would be a layer of pure salt 230 feet thick on the bed of thfe Atlantic. If all the seas could be dried up there would be 1,000 million cubic miles of common salt. Where a fresh-water river empties into the sea, the surrounding Avater is, of course, more free from salt; and where there is little outlet and continual evaporation, as in the Dead Sea and Salt Lake, Utah, there is correspondingly more sediment to a thousand parts. In tne Dead Sea the water is so dense that a man's body will easily float. Salt is composed of little cubes like crystal, which appear white when a number are laid on the top of each other and the punlight is kept from passing through. There are man}* other substances in sea water, as silver, arsenic enough to poison the whole world1, chlorine, nitrogen, carbon, sulphur, and so on. uu^geu ms rnpiis. A young schoolmaster named Traher, at Numida, a small village in Columbia County, N. Y. is charged with punishing talkative pupils bj| gagging them with corncobs and making them stand on the floor. It is said that when a child of farmer George 8n>der, thus treated, was released, the cob wa* covered with blood and the little ont wiiwso exhausted as to require assistance on the way home. Snyder went it search of Traher with a gun, but th< young man had disappeared. It is fear ed that the boy will not recover. A - s > -* fHE JOKERS' BUDGET. A IjITTIJR HUMOROUS ItKADINO FOR THE i.i;isi it i: hoi ks. Tlic KrN|tonn?*N~Aii Old Knylna?Fun with the Pi?? in the I.line Kiln Club?He Could See It?A Removal?I)o(m nnd DomIicn, ?-W.. fete. TIIK KKSrONSES. 1785. "Canst thou cherish nu>. Mnrflin?" "Yea, if it be the Lord's will." "Ami wilt thou wed me, sweetheart?" "Yea, verilv, as the Lord is my shepherd." 1885. "Can you love me, Mau&P "Well, I should shudder." "And will you marry me, dearfiflff' "What are you giving us?"?Chiaujo Ledger. THAT OI.D SAYING. A woman was looking at some brooms in a groeerv store when a stronger, who had been drinking, approached her and said: "After a broom, eli? Sheeins /.if I had heard suntliin' 'bout a new broom. There is an old saying, but I cfin't remember it." She paid no attention to him, and pretty soon he asked : "Shay, can't you 'member what it is?" "Yes, sir!" she answered, as she whiiled on him. "The saying is: 'The handle of a new broom is a good thing to hit a loafer with!' " "Ish /.hat it? Ila! Ha! Ha! Yes, /.hat's 'er broom and I'm 'er loafer! I shee 'er pint. Tm-la!" And he fell over a basket of apples and got out doors. FUN AHEAD. Aunt Maria was not a great favorite with th^^hildrcn, and an invitation that she brought one morning in person lor one of the boys to <xo back and spend the day at the farm did not meet with any overenthusiastic reception from any of those young worthies. I "I'm thillkinrr t.hllt. T'H licttnr ?rn " o " ' &"i confided Will, in an undcr-tone, to his younger brothers. "Oh, yes, go on," said Dwight, encouragingly; "perhaps the pig will get loose, and then you'll have a first-rate time." JUST TAK SAME. Shindig Watkins secured the floor in the Lime-Kiln Club to ask for information. He wanted to know if a member must feel perfect confidence iu another I member's word when trading horses;* He hadn't made a trade yet, but might in a day or two. "Brudder Watkins," said the President in very solemn tones, "dar am no doubt a fraternal feelin' among members of dis club. In case you wanted to borry ten cents of Waydown Beebe, and had no odder security but de fack dat you was a member heah, he would probably lend it to you, but you musn't presume too fur. When two members of de same church will kiver up all de spavins in a hoss-tradc, and reduce de aige of an 18-y'ar ole beast down to 9 widout changin' countenance, doan' hope fur too much honesty in a society mostly composed of sinners." ? Detroit Press. , UK COULD SEE. He had been to a high-priced occulist about two dozen times to have his eyes operated on. and at his last visit the occulist remarked confidently: "You are getting along finely, sir, und you'll be all right in a few weeks." "I hope so, doctor, but I can't see now as well as I could at first." Oh, yes, you can. There's a marked improvement." "But, doctor, I know better." "You only think so." "Oh, no. I know." "How do you know?" "Why, doctor, when I first came I could see quite a snug little sum to my credit in the bank, and I'll be hanged if I can see a dollar there now." The doctor ceased his argument. ?Merchant Traveller. A It EM OVAL. One day Inst fall a Boston purchaser of 150 city lots in a new Nebraska town, called Red City, might have been seen roaming over the unbroken prairie looking for them. At the door of a pioneer's cabin sat an old man smoking a short pipe. Said the Boston man: "I have come to see about my 150 lots in Red City." "Yes; I thought so when you were a mile off. What about 'em?'' "Why, there's no city. The place isn't even surveyed." ' Guess it ain't." "And the whole thing is a swindle?" "Well, I dunno about that. Me and the Id woman, and the blacksmith two miles down the road and his woman, have signed a petishun to have the national capital removed here, and if she ?omcs, that 'ere property will take sicli a jump inside of a week that me and you kin just lay back and slobber in wealth all the rest of our dog-goned days."?Wall Street News DOKS A BIO BUS1NES8. Mrs. Odds: "And so you've broken up housekeeping, have you? You were beautifully situated, and it seems such a pity to have to give it all up." Airs. Ends: "Yes, I was much opposed to it, but Henry thought it was best, and so we moved into this boardingbouse. Oh, we like it very well here." Mrs. Odds: "And all your beautiful things?I suppose are stored away?" Mrs. Ends: "Oh, yes: Henry got the sheriff to take charge of them for him. He's a great friend of Henry's." OtHlIIT TO BE ARRESTED. Uncle "Billy" Travers and a frienp were in the vicinity of the Battery recently, and the former pointed out an old sailor seated on one of the benches in the park. "I s-say," he said to his friend, "th that old chchap ought -to be a-a-arrested." "Arrested, for what?" was the reply. "A-a-a-s-salt and battery."?N. Y. Timet. THE DOCTOR. , Waitross (to Dr. Pullera, the dentist, who is greatly annoyed by her constant | use of his title in addressing him)? Tomatoes, doetor. i Dr. Pullem?Thanks, no. Waitress?Com, doctor. Doctor?No! dentist!?Tid Bit*. 1 .s TICK I'RiVATK's ULORY. Sweet little Major, lie mounts mj knee, und the tender blu? eyes look at me, 4'Tell me, Popsie, just oik* more, what did you do when you "Went tc war?" An<i then I tell of the autumn day when the Forty-seventh marched away; how Cromwell died at Jackson Town, and Miles on Corinth fields went !>?..( 1 i..ll "Villi. DHL IIWW II1UIIV IVUCIN, 11:11 I1H true, did you kill then, and the wliolt war through?" And i tell him then with eager zest how Jo Ilecd blew up n limber chest. Hut the Major sticks tc his question still, "How many rebel* did you kill?" So I tell him near tlu set of sun, the charge was made and the battle won. And how, the day McClurc was shot, when Vieksburg's fight was fierce and hot, brave Sam Law took C. company in through the flame and smoke of the batteries' din. How over 0111 heads the battle broke with screaming shell and saber stroke, and he wanted to know, the little elf, "Hut how man\ men did you kill yourself ? Say, tell me, Popsie, say you will?How main rebels did you kill ?" So I told him the truth, as near as might be?as many ol them as they did of me.?Hukdkttb. A SQUARE MEAT,. ITe heard jsoveral old miners, who had for many years been living a rough frontier life, discussing what they would do when they had "made their piles'' and could return with riches "to the States." "Well," said one grizzly old veteran, "I know what I'll do. I'll go a* straight as the cars'11 take me to New York, and when I get there I'll make 11 bee line for Delmonico's and I'll get the blankedly blankedestdinner that monej can buy. I don't care if it cost me $ ">(), I]ll have it." "Now, what do you think you would order," queried Fred, with some curiosity, "if you were to go into Delmonico's for a lilty-dollar dinner?" "Well, I d 1111110; but I guces I'd have some bam and eggs?yes, I would; I'd have ham and eggs!"?Hotel Gazette. THE SAFE RIDE. "I want you to prepare plans for a $75,000 residence," lie said to a prominent Baltimore architect a year or two ago. "Exactly, sir. What is your business, please?" *'1 am a speculator, sir. "What ha? that to do \?ith the plans?" "Oh, a great deal. In such cases wc always plan the basement, and then wait a year to see whether the hole in the ground is sold by the sheriff or the speculator is able to go ahead. I'll plan.your basement at once, sir." The hole was sold by the sheriff the other day.? Wall Street A'eica. HIS SYMPATHIES AROUSED. Excited Individual?See here, Mr. Bangs, you are a scoundrel of the first water. When I bought that horse 1 supposed I was getting a good, sound animal, but he's spavined and blind, and got the heaves. Now, I want to know what you're going to do about it? Bangs?Something ought to be done, that's a fact. Excited Individual?Well, I should say there had. Bangs?Well, after prayer-meeting I'll give you the name of a good veterinary suceon; it's a- shame to have that horse suffer in that way.?Tid Bits. fred's cctp. Little Fred had a way of URing his left hand, and consequently often spilling his milk. His mother, who wished to break him of the habit, said one day: "Now, Freddie, if you spill your miik again you will have to have your supper upstairs in the nursery." The next night over went the milk, and before his mother had a chance to speak, the child looked up at her brightly, and saicl, "Oh, mamma, that reminds me of a verse I learned in tho Bible, 'My cup runneth over.'"?//?? per^s Bazar. STKP-nCSBAND. Judge ("to negro woman who had been summoned as a witness)?Is this man your husband ? Woman?He's my step-husban'. Judge?What ? Womnn?I say dat de gennerman is my step-husban'. Judge?How do you make that ? Woman?Wall, sah, yer see dat jes' 'bout, do time my fust husban' wuz buried, dis gennerman come er steppin' er long an' I married him.?Arkantiaw Traveler. WIIEN STREET CARS RUN FAST. 4 41 l/\ A Aif Ctrl A MAMM ??. ' ^ ? uu buc rt unt uiuc uuo i uu us its this?" inquired a stranger of his neighbor as they skipped along on a State street cable train. "Yes, on certain occasions." "When, for instance?" "When the last car for the night, is about a block away and you are trying to catch it."?Chicago Herald. A FAMILY JAK. Husband (mildly)?You must remember, my dear, that the most patient person that ever lived was a man. Wife (impatiently)?Oh, don't talk to me about the patience of Job. Think of Mrs. Jebl the patience that poor woman must have had to put up with such a man! YOUNG AND DELICATE. In archery a bow pulling thirty pounds is the correct thing for ladies. But we have known young ladies of very delicate constitution and physique to pull beaux weighing two hundred and flfty fiounds from one division of the city to ts antipodes, and that seven nights in a week.?Boston Tranacript. tiie same old stout. "Hubby, Brother Charlie is going away, and I feel wo should give him some little keepsake." "80 we should, my dear." "How would a nice silk umbrella do?" "First-rate; but don't give it to him outright." "Why not?" "Just lend it to him. "He'll keep it longer."?Chicago Neics. A 8choolhou8e containing 480 children was emptied in a minute and a half, without the least disorder, in Bpringfield last week after an alarm of fire; but the pupils had often been drilled for it. Shad have of late years nearly absndoned the Potomac river. >'J.h j ... Iviij _ How Hoys General 1) Ciot Acquainted. I When two strange boys come to- I getlier they proceed to <jet acquainted I , something after this fashion: I i "What's yer name?" [ "Tommy Crupper. What's yourn?"' \ "Dickey Tabbits. What's yer dad's lame?" > "Ole Dan Crupper. Let's trade hats."" . "I dassent; my pap don't'low me. t My feet's the biirgest/' | t "Well, 1 chawed terbacker oncst." | > "That's nothin'. 1 saw three dogs ; fightin' at one time." . "I was in swimmin' six times in one. day a'ready." . "I had two teeth pulled las' week." ( "mats notlnn'. 1 cut my tinkers. most every day, an' our hired gal 'most . burnt her head off las' night." "That's 110 great sight. A robber r broke into our house one time, an' my [ pap's got a brother in jail." r "Well, that ain't much. My ma's got [ a sister with a glass eye, an' our bahy's got four teeth an' a lump on its head . what makes it cry all the time. Can f your father play the fiddle?" "Maybe 1 ain't got a brother who can turn a han'spring an' walk en stilts. Why don't you brag?" I "Who's a brajjpgin'? I wouldn't be n* blowhard." I "Don't you <m.lI me that, or I'll " ' "You will, will you?" ; "Yes, I will!" "No, you won't!" "I will!" ? "You won't!" "Will?will?villi* f i "Won't?won't?woi1*ff* ! "Touch me, if you dare." "Don't you pucker your mouth at inc, or I'll smash your nose." "If I was a girl I'd wear a dress." i , "Wait till I ketch you sometime, an' I'll lick you till you can't walk." "Put a chip 011 your shoulder an' I'll knock it off." s "No, you won't!" I "Yes, I will!" "You won't, either!" "I will if you dare mo to." "Well, I dare you, an'* artYhody't won't take a dare'll steal sheep. There it is, smarty, an' now let's sec what'll 1 you'll do." * * * The next instant both boys arc rolling in the dust, pulling hair, and trying to chew each other's cars. From this time 1 on they consider themselves well acquainted, and take a friendly interest io ! each other.- - Chicago ledger. i ^ Wliit Sherman Missed. Writing in Julj', 1847, Gen. W. T. , Sherman, who was destined one day to win imperishable renown as the leader of that "march to the sea," which brought the American civil war to an end in 18K5, says: ; "At that time, what is now called San Francisco was called Verba Buena. A naval officer, Lieutenant Bartlett, of the United States navy, had caused it to be surveyed and laid out in lots, which were sold at $10 apiece. Many naval officers had invested, and my friend Captain Folsom advised me to buy; but I felt actually insulted that he should think me such a fool as to pay good money for property in such a horribleplace." If General Sherman had possessed the gift of foresight, the investment in 1847 of a few hundred dollars in Yerb.'u Buena might have made him now one of the richest men in the world. Th'/ "horrible place" of which he speaks with such loathing is now Montgomery street, San Francisco - a street which, in the eyes ot its ordinary habitues, is unsurpassed in attractiveness by Regent street, by the Boulevard des Italiens, by Broadway, or by any other of the gayest and most fashionable urban thor- oughfares.?London Telegraph. Frugality that Brought Misfortune. The Cleveland Leader says:?Frugality docs not often bring disaster, but there are exceptions. One week ago Ed McDonnell, a west side saloonist, was arrested and sentenced to the Workhouse. But for the economical notions of Mrs. McDonnell her husband would not have suffered. Several months ago sho buried a box in the cellar. Through the cover she cut a narrow opening and dropped in a coin. Since then she has continued dropping in dimes, nickels, and quarters whenever they could be spared. McDonnell's saloon trade was not brisk thia fall. On the first Sunday that thedrinking places were closed he complained to his wife of slack custom. The day before Mrs. McDonnell had attempted to put a coin in the box and found it full. When her husband complained of hard times she told him of" the box. It was brought up, opened, and found to contain over *500. McDonnell was overjoyed, and in a burst, of generosity he tapped a beer keg and V set it out where all who ran might drink. He was arrested, arid punished as above indicated. Returned.?Mrs. Cyrus Baker, of Scotia, was robbed lost month of one hundred and eight dollars belonging to the Ladies' Aid Society, of the Reformed Church. As she was abou t toretire Thursday evening, the door bell rang furiously. She hastened to the door, but the bell ringer had disappeared, while on the porch lay a letter containing seventy dollars and a note stating that the other thirty-eight dollars had. been spent in securing employment in Troy, and as soon as the writer could earn the balance of the money he would return it. It seems that the Ladils Aid. Society aided more than they knew, and by a committee they did not appoint.?Albany Journal. Ordering.?The woman who orders a. spool of thread sent by express is not sorare as some imagine. At a dry goods counter one dny last week were two ladies. One of them was the daughter of a very rich man, whose father had been rich before him, and the other was the wife of a man who had suddenly acquired wealth. The last mentioned ordcrod a very small packagc to be sent home, and the first took a good-sizod bundle under her arm and walked upthe street with an indcpendenco worthy of admiration.?tM.slOn imdgH. -x?: The Earl of Chatham always dremod and posed for effect. ' * > ' . .. . ' . ' . <}' $ , , ,,,