The Easley messenger. (Easley, S.C.) 1883-1891, June 13, 1884, Image 8
How TO SEcUii. CJsToNEn.
'That man will hereafter be a good
customer of mine,' said the sal
oon keeper as a business-lookingo
inflfi went out of the saloon as if
he had a pressing engagement.
'Who is he?'
' don't know. Never saw him
bef ore.'
'What makes you think li will
ever coime in here again?'
'Because I gave - him a plugged
half doliqir in change. The first
time he tries to pass it, it will be
rejected. Then he will come back
here to exchange it for another
one. I'll beg his pardon, say some
thing aboti. getting stuck with
them once in a while when there
is a rush of business, ask him to
take :a drink,.chat with him while
lie crooks h is elbow, tell him a fun
ny story, and he'll go away thiuk
ing I am an awfully nice fellow.
After that he'll never go by with
out coming in. I've made half
a dozen good customers with that
half dollar already. There's tricks
in all trades but ours. Many's the
1miore of these fellows that man
will give no.'
As he spoke he pulled open the
money drawer and took therefrom
the bill the stranger had (given
him. le looked at it closely, ad
miringly, doubtingly, and then
said with undisguised disgust:
'No, boys, I'm wrong. He'll nev
or bring that hialf dollar ba.ck.
The bill is bogus!'-Detroit Free
Press.
FASH[oNALE.-Mrs. Flamiley
aittemps to be fashionable. T'ie
other night, when she dressed plre
paratory to attending the theatre.
she appeared with a silver spoon
on her breast.
'Margaret, what in the world (do
you call thit?' askedl her hus
band.
'This was my grandmother's
sauce spoon. You know that ii's
fashionable now to wear old faini
ly plate.'
Flamley said nothing more, for
he knew that it was unnecessar'y
to arg'ue with his wife. -The next
night he asked his wife to attend
the theatro with him, and1 again
she put on her spoon. A fter a
while F'lamley camne out with an
enormouis butcher--knife on his
shirt front.
'My gracious, Henry, what is
that?'
'This was my grandfrather's
b)utcher-knife. It's fashionable now
to wear-'
'I'll take off the spoon.'
'All right. Off goes tihe knife.'
SOM ET HING A1oUNr lintE.
'There, Frances, you'vye caught an
other cold, and I'll warrant you
caught it when you were out walk
ing with Joe last night.'
'Oh no, mother! I couldln't have
caught it then, because we dIidn't
go fast enough to catch anything;
in fact, we just sit dlown on the
stile and studied astronomy !'
'And didI you have anything
around you, my dear!'
'Oh, yes, indeedI I did ! Joe's al
ways particular about that; he
won't allow me to sit down any
where in the evening air without
~nuttingr something around me.'
1 AOR ON 'TIMiu.- 'A )Sor as 48
hours are ap'll bibik,) iaid the
young man, hurrying off. to cAtch
the train, and that was the last
his emloyer saw of him for six
solid days, when he walked in,
gripsack in hand, and a beaming
smile on his face, renarking:
'Uack on time.'
'ack on, time?' roared the exas
perated employer. 'Do you call
six days 48 hours'
'Of course I do. What else 'do
you chll it?'
'Have you lost the use of your
mental faculties, or are you trying,
sir, to take unwarrantable liber
alities with me?'
'Whv, I am sirprisel. I told
you I wanted 48 hours recreation.
didn't I?'
'Certainly, and I gave it to you.'
'Just so, aIl I vork in th astore
oight 'hours-a day, dont I'
'Of' cou rse.'
'Well, eight into f6rty-eight goes
six ti mes, And I've been gone eight
hours at (lay for six (lays, so vou
sec Im on time.
11'TH1 Gk ANNEFO ICKmm Ro
-'Were yon with Grant beforc
Vicksburg'? asked an old gentle
man who was not in the war; but
loved to honor patriotism.
'I was. sir.' replied the veteran
with a glowing nose.'
'And a grateful county does not
now provide for you?' sympathet
ically continued the kind hearted
Party.
'It does not, illeed sir,' rfanswer
ed the veteran.
'Alh, such is thi ingratitude of
republics. Here is a dollar for vou,
poor fellow. Tell me something
of tlioe terrible days.'
'What terrible dlays?'
-Why, those yoN passed before
Vicksburlg.'
'Never was afore Vicksburg in
my life,' emphatically asserted the
red-nosed man.
'What! Did you not just tell
me that you were with Grant be
fore Vicksburg fell'?
'So I[ was. I was with him when
lie used to run a tan-vard at G ale
na, Illinois.'
'A LIrrTLIE OF THE .Je PLE isE
-It was at Mrs. Simpson H-en
drick's table, and Dumley was ev
idently madl about something.
'There they are,' he whlispered
to young Brown, ''the same old
canned peaches that we had every
night for six months.'
Presently the landilady asked,
'Will you have some of thie peach -
es, M r. .Dumley ?'
'No,' he r'eplied, as ohortly as he
(daredj, being two weeks in arrears;
'I never eat Peaches except in the
natural state.' -
'But these are bran diedl peach-.
es,' said Mrs. Hiend~ricks: 'some
that I have just jist (down.'
Dumley saw his mistake, arid
faltered. 'No,' he finally decided,
'I won't take any peaches, b~ut you
might give me just a little of the
juice.'
-A fash ion item says that la
dies are giving uip the "bang,''
but we notice that a great many of
them Atill hang on to the "powder."
-Norri stown Healnd.
-Lace dresses, both black and
white,4rc again-to be worn.
be;uitiful ENT.AV1NQ in sIX
A G OL ORS, represeuting T W4E N
'TY (20) PORTRAlrS of the MosT
P A 110 US
C3IFeEAIATE OOMMANDER8,
IN THE CIVIL WAR, 1861-65.
Every Portrait has been carefully
verified, and have been prodiced at
great expense and *i9 the most E labo.
rate and Artistie manner by Eiminent
Artks. The Poi-'aits of the OIRN
ERALS will he Recognized at a glance
they are in. Full Uiform and true to
life. -The IIistoic Gray, the . old But
tous and Stars and Braid on Collars
(delenoting rank), stand out in bold re.
lief fromthe - tenitmifiii back ground.
Only a few of these Great hleroes are
now li vin, : no trIe Southeier
shohli( fail to possess one of thee val
nable Mementoes. They are appropri
ate for the Parlor. Library, Ilall or Of
fie, and vill compare favorably with
the finest Oil P.aintinigs.
The Portrmit- are printed ol Ieavy
Phtt-e paper, beautifullyI tinted (ready
for framing). size 22x2) inches, and
will beC sent. to any address, (Postage
or Express p)ai1d.) carefully packed in
tiutes. on re-eipt of Price, $2.09.
A ddress
TIIE SiER MA N PULII1i1I N( Co.,
294 Broadway, N. Y.
A G E N WA'%, NTE . Jim 6 g
RICHMOND & DANVILLE
RAILROAD.
P SSE NE D I)E PIART MENT.
Ou after May 11th, 1884. Passenger
Train srvi .! on th A. & C. Air--Line
Division will he as foilow%'s
*Y)RT HW rIR D.
1'X 1 1w(.q Nx i 1, 1
No. 5, No. 53
1)aily. Dailv.
Iia At laT 1) in 8 40a it)
Ar. Gainesville.. . . 6 57 p i 10 35 a m
la 7 25 pn 1 03 a m
TU). Gap JuneBCH 8 12 m) 11111I 31 a m11
Toccoa . . .. . C 8 A4 p m'1 2 07 p i
" ASeca. City . 1) 959 p ml1 1 05 p m
" Central. . . f3 32 p mi 152 p m
" Liberty . . .. 10 53 1) ri 2 13 P i
Easle. . . .11 10 p in 227 pm
"Greenville. .T. E I 42 p i 2 56 1) m
' Spartanburg. J 1 01a ni U 4 11 pilm
Gastonia .... 3 17am a u 08u((1pm
Charlotte . . 4 0a I 655pm
No.50No.52
S- - - . Daily. I1 ti I
Leave Char'lotte. . . 1 30) a ml 1 00 p mn
At. Gastonia.. .. .2 21 a ml 1 45 p mn
'.vSpartan ourg. ..4 27 a m& :345 p mi
"b Greenville.. ... 543 a mn 455 p mi
"Easley 's. .....6 017 ami 5 2'3pm
"Liberty.. ....631t a m' 5 42'p mi
" Central.. ......6 55 amr 6 00p m)
" Senecn City. . .. 7 32 a mu, 6 37 p mI
"' Toccoa... . .. 8 40 am' 735p m
"' Rab. Gap June. 9 34 a m' 8 30 P mI
" Lula. .. .. .. .. 10 09 a mn 8 50 p mn
" Gainesville . . ...10 36am, 9 25p m
"Atlan ta.. 1 00) a mn 11 30 j mn
Accomm!odlation Train, (Air-Line Belle)
(WING NORTH.
Leave .Atlapta........... 15 P mf
A rrive Gainesville...........8 25 p m
Accommodation Train, (Ai r-Line Belle)
GOING SOUTH.
L've Gainesville.........7 00 a 11
Arifev A tlant a............ 9 20 a mn
No. 18-Local Freight, Going South.
LeaveOha~otte........... 00 a mn
A rrive Gaffneey's............10 50 a m
A rrive Spartanburg-........12 53 p mn
Arrive Greenville.......... 4 20 p in
AraIve at Easleys. ......6 03 p mi
Arrive at Liberty . ......... ..... 6 45 p mn
Arrive Central.............. 30) p mi
No. 17.-Local Freight, Going North.|
Leave Central .................... 4 45 a mI
krrive at Liberty........... 5 15 a Im
%rive at Easleys............... 5 50 a In
I rive Oreenville........., ... 7 03 a m
kreive SpartaIburg....... 10 33 a n
Arrive Gaffiey's. ......* .... 1 03 p m
Ar'rive CiIiarlotte ................... ( 30 p im
All freight traiis.on this road carry
asseingoers. All passengor trains run
hrough to Danville & Richmond with
>tt chiinge connecting at Danville with
Va. Midland, to all Eastern chlles, an(d
it Atlanta with all lines lverging N6.
$0 leaves Richmond at 12 45 p,m m, and
No. 51 arrives theic at 3 50 p m. 52
eaveg Richmond 1 28 a mi 53 arrives
;bere 7 00 a m. Tie locarfreights.stop
it above stations 20 to'30 minutes.
BUFFET SLEEPING. CARS:WITH
OUT CH ANGE.
On trains Nos. 50 and 51, N wYork
mid Atlanta, via Wa~hiiton and Darl
ville, Greensboro and Asheville.
On trains Noq, 52 and 53, tichinond
and Danville, Washington and Augus
'a, Washington and New Orleans.
Returning, on No. 52 -sleceyer Greens
boro to Richimord.
Through Ticikets on Pale t
3 harlotte, Greenville, Seneca, 81ar
Lanburg and nainesville to all points
Souti, Southwest, North and East.
A, With N I,, it u to and.fIrom Athens.
13, with N E It It to and fron1 Talin
hili Falls.
C, with El. Air-Libe, 'to and trom
E1lberton anld 1owersville.
1), with Blue Ridge it it to and from
Walhialla, &c.
E", with c and (4 it it to an1d from
N(wbverry, Alston and C olunmbia.
F, with A and S and s U and C U R
to and from IIendersonville, Aiston &c.
G, with Chester and Lenoir R R to
and froi chester', Yorkville -m11d Pallas
II, with N C Division and c C and A
R it to and from Greensboro, Raleigh ,
&c. EDI)WI N BERKICEY, Supt.
If. SLA UGITICR, Gen. Pass. Agrt.
A. L. I iVEs, 2d V P & Gen. Mai'r.
................................................
South- Carolina Railway Company.
Commelncbing SalayLI, Maty 11,
18S-4, at 4 p m. Passenger Trains
vill I 1n as follows until furtlher notice,
TO AND FROM CHA RI4ESTON.
EAST ()A [LY.)
Depart Columbia at 7 5') a m 525 p m
Due (iarleston at 1220 a m 953
WEsT (DAILY.)
Depart Charle4ton 8 18 a m 4 30 p
Due at Colutnbia at 12 38 " 9 22
TO AND FROM CAMDIEN.
Eaist (Daily except Smiday.)
D~epart Columbia at 7 50 a mn 5 '25 p m"
Due at Camden at 2 25 p mn 8 25
WVest (Daily except Sunday.)
D~epart Camden at 0 00 a mn 4 0) p mn
D~ue at Columbia 12 38 "~ 9 22"
TiO AND F OM AUGUSTA.
East (Daily.)
D)eparit Columbia at 7 50 a mn 5 25 p ;n
D~ue at Augustai at 1 20 p mn 8 10 a'mir
WVest (Daily.)
Depar't A ugusta at 7 15 a mn
D~ue at Colunbia at 12 38 p m :
CONNECTI ONs
made at Columbia with'Ooldmibia. and
3lreenville Railroad by train ar'rivin~g
it 12 38 p mn, and departiung at 5 50p.
mn. At (Jolumbia Junction with Char
ttte, Colum11blia anid Augusta Rtailroad,
)y same train to and from all poiintson
LothI roads.
At Charleston with Steamers to
New York on Saturday; and1 on Tuies
lay andl Saturday with Steamier for
Jacksonville andi points ont St. ,Johni's
River; also, with Charleston and Sa
vanmah Railroadl .to and from Savan
mah andio all points ini Flor'ida.
At Augusta wiitlh .Georgia and Ceui.
ral Hairoads to and fromi all p~oints
W est and South. A t Blackville to and
romn poim~ IlSOn Barniwell Rail road1.
abrough tickets can be purehased to alli
)Oinits Souithiand West by applyIng to
D.. MCQ UEEN, Agenit, C(lombia, S.C
JOHN B. .PECK, Ueneral Manager.
D C ATJLLENGenJ. Paan m'I"kn Aget