The Easley messenger. (Easley, S.C.) 1883-1891, January 11, 1884, Supplement to The Messenger, Image 6
supplement to .The X/1e4se 9e
'he youn g woman said her lov
er .w I ('oinin1:' onihlran
4he W. g)ing to h 1 ttried.
WhereIIpona the old lady said she
hid much experience in the 'mar
rying business,' and would give
the young lady some advice, and
here is what she said
'Well, child, never marry a rail
reaOlder, for lie is liable to gyet kill
ed at anly tiie.
N'ver marry a military man, for
he is liable to go to war and get
S hot. Besides, his goreous elothles
attract the attent ion of the wo
111en.
Never marry a hotel-keeper.
M Iy first husband was a hotel-keep
ilr, and tell th1rough the elevator
Opening and broke his skull
Never nmarry a travelling man,
(.)I he is always away from home.
Never marry a steanboater.
My Second hutsb )anld was a steam
1boat captain, and got blowed into
1,000,000 pieces. I always get
terribly mad when I think of that
Mal).
Never marry a grocer. My thi r-d
husband wvas a grocer, and he was
killed by a molasses barrel fallin'
oil him. When I think of him I'm
eomplstely disgusted.
Never marry a carpenter. My
fourth husband was a carpenter,
and fell off a scaffold and was
smashed to a jelly. May his soul
sleep in peace
Never marry a machinist. My
fifth husband was a machinist.
i'il never forget the day he was
brought home on a board. I did'
nt recognize him. A belt had
come off a pulley and hit him plum
in the face, and spr'ead his nose all
over his countenance. I premised~
him on his dlyin' bed that I'd nev
er' marry another machinist.'
Just then the train rolled in,
and the 01(d lady asked:
''Child, what business is your
lover in ?'
'Insurance business.'
'Oh, mercy ! You dlon't mean
to marry him ? My sixth husband
was an insurance --' But the
young lady' was gone to meet hier
lover.
Tmi FIm MOTIER.-'ComelC
here to me,' said a firm mother to
her son. 'Didn't I tell you that
I'd whip you if you w.nt down
town ?'
'Yessum,' standing on one foot.
'What made yoi go? Say '
''Cause,' standing on the other
foot.
'-Didnt. you know I'd whip
you?'
'Yessum,' showing by Ils man
ner that, lie di(dn't.
'I'm na great mind to wear you
out. If you go outside the yard
again to-day I'll whip you.'
About ten minutes afterward she.
sees the ho)y plaving in the street,
and calls him. Ile comes reltict
ant ly.
-Didn't, I tell you I'd whip you'
if you went outside the yard ?'
-Yessum.'
'Why did you (10 it ?'
''Cause.'
You good for nothin g little ras
cal, I'm a great ilin(d to wear VoLI
out. If yOu1 go ouitside this yard
again to-day I'll whip you, if it's
the last act of my life. Do you
hear me?'
WHIAT iE WoULD SAY.-A hus
hand and wife were talking gram
mar. 'Would you., Said she, 'say
seissors are, 01 eissors is ?'
'I'd say Scissors are, of course,'
lie replied.
'WoulId oul say molasses is, or
molasses are ?
'MolAsses is, of course.'
'Well, then, would 'you say the,
family is wel?'
'No.'
'What; you wouldi't say tle.
family are well, when faimily is a
singular noun, would you?~'
'No.'
'What would you say thewn, I'dI
like to know ?'
'Why, love, I'd say the family
was not well ; that you had* the
grunts, that Tommy hadl al sore fin
ger', that the baby hiad the colic',
that Katie had the headache and1
that I was trying to make anj
average by being well enough for
four.'
She went out of thle room and
didn't speak to him for' t wo days.
--Merchant-TFrav'eler,
Mrts. Tennyshlon, it is saidl, wrIites :ual
W. S. GitEoiR, our Fore
man, is authorized to receive and
contract. for Job work, &c.,for Tim
A ESSENGIEtt office.
A WORD -
TO THlE PUuLI
F'ROM
OWN~BEY 2 BOs..
A visit to ).wihey *Bro. will con
vilce you Ihat we canl sell roil G OODS
As IlE A P aus thIe CIt A PEST. Our
stock is nlow complete, o.n sist.ing of
Flouir, Blheonw ,at , Col'I'e, %Sugar.
C aniied (loods of eve d y <1escriptlion,
1:in ainl Fley mlidies iI eidless,
variety. Tirl~ge lin and Hlollow
ware. A full live of
S T0 E
that cimpele witi (G(reni ville prices.
Our line of 'I'olbao :n114l Se'gars is
large :nti varied, 'ml will he sold at
prices ihat, will jiiluice ill to oly. If
von ned anything in the slape of
Faring4 imipliueents, we keep it.. We
keep a fiil line of ( 'lock, anid vill sell
I hem eheap. .lewelry to please all
both il style and price.
Ail phl n-:e to remieiiber that ve pay
ie higheMt nun ket. pr)i for, PrVIlle.
We av n house' renit nlor v'erlk hire
ti pay. anld caln sell youI a111Ny thilg we
keep at the very owest price.
VeFy resp, (tfaully.
OWN II'EY NII0)S.
Ock 1-2-12m
GRAND EXCURSION1
To sce the CirensB \ ill not er. ite the
1xe telmienat that our Bargains il Ieds,
Blurcan s. Chairs, Tables, and everV
TO THE
legant atd a :steful fuurnilhin- of your
holus ith l IBedIroom :111d I Palor Suits
of Iall g tls. C"omie one. comlle all ad
:ul(I be cOnvhiedTI that yMu (:ino1t get
ilm*e oEods filr less iiltev thall we'
FURNITURE HOUSE,
A geneural line of 1.mldertaker's Sip
pjivs atln ays on hanll..
Collins' t rinuneid at al ou1 inii
Qt y!. t o suit purhasers.
EASLEY, S. C.
A. M. BUNION,
Proprietor Furitur'e I s loie.
Oct 12-12
ADAM~ C. WELBORN,
ATTO'(iRNEYX ANiD
(011118 usl fr ait Lat W,
Tractcesi f/ie 8ta/e and
O )lli'e it.a Citlel lilo'k , over lsaac(
WVeul's. Clothing llouse.
Nov :iW--iy
L11 T, laHXL
.\TTVORNE~Y A NDI COINSELOft AT' LAW.
R HE EN V ILLE, S. C.
Practices4 in the State and4 Minuited(
States ('onurls.
ALL. lARTIES
Jndebted
ro is ifor
& UA3TO,
G O OD S
is UT PiiLiJJJS -
either by \ote
OT JCCQ7iLt,
Are earnestly re
quested to call and
S ETTLE AT' ONCE.
Don't wait for us to
call on you-it is un
pleasant for both you
and us-but come
r'ight along and
so t/Ltat weV~
" IUN"
YOU AGAIN
W. M. Hagood & Co.
m~~tsr s. a.
Nov 2-tf
Lime ! Lime ! Lime !
C A N BE BOITGir 1 OFI .)
10asley, S. C.,
Eithecr inl Car Load.( Lo0ts or
by the sinle 'I barriell1 ait very'~
(Cl EAP. RA'lES.
Oct 12--tf
BLAVKSM ITIIING
in all its branc'hes, (done by
.VAMES ROSEMO~N1-.
Give hiin~ a call :nil satisfaLction wvill
he riven. both . to wiork am1i eburges.
(l2t -l''m