The Horry herald. (Conway, S.C.) 1886-1923, April 05, 1888, Image 1
A.' #
VOLUMEL
Patriotic Widow of the
/ Conproo.
(Copyrighted, li-ss, by Funk A^ngnnlln.
1 was at Fort Motto station, near I
tho Contraroo Fiver, in South Carolina,
not far from tho junction of 1
that stream with tho Wateree, on a
bright, frosty morning in January,'
1849. r
"Will you direct me to tho Fort
^ Motto plantation I said to a lad.
i*oinlino up a irentlo slopo ho
said,
"On tho top o1 tho hill is Mr.
I .ovo's house, which they call Fort | ,
Motto. It is only a short walk from*
hero nil that dirt ro;'d."
At the summit I found a very
aged man, with thin while hair and
wariulv clad, sit'ing upon a log by
the wayside, lie was resting his
rounds upon a long stalT, and smiled
pleasantly as 1 approached, /ftter a
cordial greeting I asked,
"Is that Fort Motto?" pointing
toward a rather line-looking house
for the region standing on the high
rolling plain which sloped l( the
swamps on over} side.
"So they call it," said thoold man;
"but it ain't the fort we tuck from
the British inoro'n sixty yc. ? ago?
burnt 'em out, you may sav."
"Were you one of 'Is captors?" I
asked.
"1 reckon 1 wuz," replied the old
man. "IV ye seo that scar?" poin- j
ting to his fore arm, which he had j
bared of its sleovc. "A redcoat's1
bullet made it in a scrimmage afore j
the siege. I was Horry's leftennnt. I
1 lorry, yon know, was Marion's |
i I......J 'o.. i
ii^m iikimi tiidii ^ urn i i 11 l i i i 11 iii-'
litis. 1 le stuttered when hurried to!
s:iy anything quick. Coining suddenly
on a Tory camp one night, he i
wanted to tell us to lite quick. lie
said, TTli-li-li shoot, darn ve!' and
*
we bla/.ecj awnj in the dark."
"Why was this called Fort Motto?" 1
I inquired .
"Bless your soul!" said the old j
soldier, with animation. '"Don't you i
know Becky Mj?tte -Becky Brewton
that was ?lived here? Mighty
plucky woman was Becky Motto.
A purly woman, too; as purtv as a
picture, thcrtgh she was well-nigh
forty years old, and had a darter
married to (tineral Pinckney. She
was a Charleston lady, daughter of a
Britisher, and this was her nest coun- !
try house a mighty hea'.thy place
on this hill. The British druv Becky I
out^nf her house, dug a big ditch all |
around it, piled up a high hank o' I
dirt 'round the ditch, next the house, j
and so made a fort of it?a purty j
stroiic; fort ami) musket and rides. I
It was a nice house, hut not so fine
as Mr. Love's, which Becky built I
right away after the war. I helped
draw timber to l>> ild it."
"The British drove Mrs. Motto
and her family out of her house, did
they? Where did they go?" 1 as-j
ked.
"To her overseer's, on yon hill,"
he replied. "Becky was a rich widder;
lost her husband earlv in the!
war, and lived here in the summer ;
At that farm-house she showed raal j
grit, 1 tell ye; grit that madt^ us all j
feel as if we would willingly die for)
her?v(*s, die for her."
"Ilow did she show yfrit?'" 1 asked
as 1 seated myself on the log beside ;
the veteran hi the bright sunshine.
"Well, you see,"'said the old pa- j
triot, as his voice waxed stronger by
the stimulus of vivid recollections,
"they had her house, and live hunv
dred rodcoats^wero in and around it.
Lcftenunt-Colonel Leo?Legion Ilarvy,
you know -yon must have heard
, of him a dashing young trooper
then of my ago twenty-five had
joined us with his lighthorsomen,
?r$(d tvo all pushed forward, horse
nnri foot, for this place to drive off
#t.,? ri.mm...*. i
tnu uiiunuuin. 1 Hill very IIIOrillN
Borne troopers from Charleston came
to the fort with dispatches for Lord
Itawdon at Camden. They word
about to leave when wo appeared at
Becky's farm-house. They wuz
skccred and didn't go. Lee had a
little six-pounder cannon which he
placed in battery on the knoll you
see yonder, speckled with the stumps
of some trees lately cut down. The
redcoats had no artillery, so we had
'em, weYeckoned.*'
"Who were Lee's troopors?" I
asked.
Mostly young Virginians, I iockon
" 3E T3R.TTIE
xm TON, i:oitoi>. i
i. K<XJ miH. l'ultllMlior. (
ready to go when he might lead; and]
ho was ready to lead wherever Ins
country needed bravo men. He
was a handsome young man, with
lar?b Mark eyes and brown hair. The
if ay uniform of his men made i
the homespun clothes of Marion's
brigade appear meaner than
ever, Hut we had the grit as)
well as they.1'
i,lIow did you take tin* fort with
only that little field-piece?" 1 in- !
ijuired.
"I'll tell ye. Lee dismounted his
* |
troopers, led 'em into a narrow bob j
low up to a short way from the fort, j
and with the help of some niggers
began to'dig toward it. and threw
np breastworks whilst we took post
nt tho field-piece to defend it in case
the redcoats should come out and
attack us. Thev were ordered to
surrender. They said they wouldn't,
list then wo heard that Hawdon |
was retreating from Camden and
had sent troops to join the garrison
at Fort Motto. That, verv night
their camp-fires were seen on a hill
not far away. The sight made us:
livdv. ! teil you. Something must
he done quickly. To batter bowu
their works with our baby cannon or
reach thmn by digging trenches!
would take too much time. But i
Lee was up to anything. 'We must j
burn em out,' he said.
uTho shingles on the house wuz;
dry as tinder, for the sunshine wuzj
hot on that day, at the middle of
Mi#V. ll can send fire on 'em with
arrows,'said Lee,'ami. they'll blaze
in a minute.' But he didn't 'ike to
do it. Becky Mottc wu/. his friend;;
her son-in-law wuz his friend; but he I
thought of his country first and his
friends afterwards. When he mentioned
it to Becky, ,tho plucky woman
clapped her hands and said,
'GoodI good! Do it if you can.
Burn tho house if they won't surrender.'
Wasn't that real grit?real
patriotism?
"Lee sent another order for tho
redcoats to surrender. They know
help was nigh and they wouldn't do
it. He asked Marion, 'Have you a
man who can shoot straight with a
how and arrow?' 'Yes,' tho (iineral
said; 'Nathan Savage is as goo 1 a
shot as any 1 ndian.'
"A bow and arrow wore quickly
made and taken to Lee's headquarters
at the overseer's house witli Nathan.
lie trie.ll tho how and said, 'It
ain't strong enough.' 'Here, darter,'
saiil Becky to the youngest who
married Colonel Alston, 'run and git
the Indian bow and arrows.' Turpentine
torches wore fastened to two
or three of the arrows, when Natho
sent them like blazin' stars straight
to the roof. The shingles smoked
and wo hurrahed. They bla/.ed, and
we shouted. 'The redcoats ran up
and began to knock ofl the burning
shingles. Shots from the six-pounder
raked the loft and sent the Britishers
scampering poll moll below.
Pretty soon a white flag was seen
waving, and at noon we had 'em: the
redcoats were all our prisoners.
Wasn't we happy fellers? I didn't
mind the bullet-hole in my arm a bit,
just then. Becky Motte? plucky j
Becky Motte? was as happy as any
of us, though her fine house wuz in
ruins, bhe invited the British ofli
eers, as well as ours, to the farm
house to lunch, and perfect lady as
she was everywhere, she wuz sis purlite
to her country's enemies as to
its friends.
"While wo were at table,'' continued
the old soldier, "word came to
our Gihorul that some of his men wuz
amusing themselves by hanging Torios.
Marion hurried out and with
his drawn sword ran to the spot
in time to save the life of one of 'em.
It was Tom Cunningham, one of
the worst, who died at Kingston last
year. The Gineral threatened to
kill any man who should attempt to
harm another prisoner. A just man
a brave man, a Christian man was
General Marion."
When the venerable soldier had
finished his story 1 strolled on the
houso of Mr. Love, where 1 spent
several hours very pleasantly, lie
said the narrator was a worthy pensioner
and a man of truth, and that
the traditions of the country as well
as oflicial roports were in genoral
agreement with his story of the cnp
tureof Fort Motto by Lee and Marion.
1 wrote the name of the vener
able pensioner on a scrap of paper,
soon lost it and have beeit unable to
recall it.
The remains of the entrenchment
around the house were still quite
prominent.
Bknkon J. r.osstxo, LL,D.
#
to "Y"CXJK
CONWAY
MONEY WELL SPEN i\
Capt. Itixhy Show* tin' (iront
Vnluo of Klver Improvements.
i mtkii Statks Km;i s kick < >kkk k >
Wilmington, N. 0. Mar. 10,*88 \
To the Kditor of the
Now that river ami harbor question
is again before Congress, i wish to
call your atten,;on to the groat lieu- i
oftt which the country derives from
such work.
1m*w people realize the advantageous
commercial, agricultural and |
colonizing effects produced l?v the
governmental improvements of rivers
and harbors of the I'nited States,
and especially of the South Atlantic
atid (.iuIf States.
The rivers and creeks of the South
Atlantic and 'Julf States are, as a
rule, streams of gentle slope, considerable
length and moderate dep' 01
obstructed mainly by sunken 1<^S*
snugs and fallen or overlain'1" "i
trees. Were the laMer obstf^
thoroughly removed (usuall
done at a comparatively su'"*
these rivers and creeks wi u 11 '1
appear in their true role o
and economical navigable u
similar to and rivalling tlue ' '''^B
and more expensive canal;'
Northern and .Middle States.
^As soon as tine of these st:' rn^Bvf
opened to commerco too rodui*1
height charges is so oodsiden'"'^B
to oncouaago the rapid devoir s
of such towns as are already
istenco along its length, and- V
tainty and eheapn
ing and traveling facilities an "'
11 m
the establishment of continmn* '
r"'^l
extended seltK incuts all ah
banks over largo areas of goo'f* '
n n ^
until thou so deprived of transpoi.
tion facilities that the sale of faun
products would not oven pay the expenses
of their transport to the nearest
market. Mom than this, the removal
of obstructions from* the bed
and banks of the stream facilities the
free movement of water in the stream
and aids so greatly the natural drainage
of the river bottoms and other
adjacent lands, that land until then
malarious and sickly becomes tit for
habitation and culture.
In this way we readily see that
the governmental improvement of
such rivers and harbors not only in- j
creases the existing commerce of
such waterways, but improves the
drainage, culture, value and health
of the adjacent lands, Jmi'lds up the
existing towns and encourages the
..... . I . r >
nmiiuiiiuiii 01 previously unoccupied
territories. In no other way can so
small an expenditure of public money
produce such valauble results in
tho development of the country at
large.
As an exainpl i of this good work
let us look at the results obtained in
the States of North and South Carolina
during the last few years preceding
the 1st of July, 1887.
Since 187(1 on seven rivers in
these States a total of 582 miles
length of river has been open to easy
steamer navigation at a total expense
of ?500,000, thereby reducing
freight, charges from 12 per cent to
75 per cent and developing ?12,050,000
of annual cominorco, an average
development of ?25 of annual commerce
for each dollar once spent by
trie (jrovenunent.
The two towns on tho Contcntea
River bank in North Carolina havo
nearly doubled in population and
property.
The town of Greenville, on the,
Pamlico River, North Carolina, litis
increased from 012 population and
?200,000 real estate in 1880 up to
2,505 population and ?000,000 real
estate in 1880, almost entirely due'
to tlic river improvement.
The neighborhood of tlio Neuse
Uivor, North Carolina, is steadily
gaining m settlement and prosperity
under the influence of better transportation.
On the the recently commenced,
but unfinished, improvements of waterway
between Newborno and Beaufort,
Beaufort harbor; waterway botwoen
Beaufort harbor and New
Jiiver. ^tlirnnirli ltfiimA SI.>> -! A v~...
1 \ fS
Hiver Capo Fear ltivur, below Wilmington,
and Black Hiver, North
Carolina, and (ieo^etown harbor,
Winyah Bay, San tee River to Winyall
Bay, and Santee ' River, South
Carolina, the work is of too recent
l
^3sriD -sroxj-:rc
, S. T., Till lv'SDAY. .
date, or not sulUeientlv advuttced, to
have produced tlio expected results.
On the improvements of Watoreo
RiVer and Conguroo River, South
Carolina, an expected development
of from *Lb00,0(H) to *3,()00,lKK) of
river commerce is prevented, mainly
by the bridge obstructions of the
South Carolina Railway.
On the improvements of Lockwood's
Lolly River and Lumber
River, North Carolina, and Little
Pee Dee River, Clark's Creek,
Black Mingo and Alligator River,
South Carolina, tho work, though recommenced,
has not yet received any
appropriation from Conorossf hut in
all casus tho present indications are
that the completion of the improve*
inents will give returns at least
equal (if not superior) to those of tho
. 'tlwt j I&feijrihfcd waterways. %Tho
-pht)n Winyah Hay means
n the development
Dee ha"il>
the
^p\*olina; and a
,,r
BJ^uld undoubt
, iin a .titional
B^rce of $8,000,m
m improvements
B? '1' good re*
the eonn'EL'f
s ate to-d; v
Hfunpleted; ami
P*Vo that further
F ' .ee mi pan lad
Jpnhs on ouch rivAl"
sueh improve
'C-: ? 1? fully double
I ''ol v spent by t lie
'-..^eJsPMIr. juient.
I will kleic. ho/tf"l,y, vour obedient
stands . .itif \\ M. II. IJiXuv,
4*t NW^lM Knginuers, I'.S. Army.
I'oiMilar Science.
A .valuable instrument lias been
invented for determining the degree
| of impurity of the atmosphere of a
| living room.
It isn't the frost acting directly on
the iron which breaks a length of
rail, but, it is . the fro/en ground
beneath it failing to givo under the
pressure.
1 The J/< <//co/ h'ecoi'tl says expired
air is optically pure and contains
no microbes. Respiration, therefore,
purilics air as far as microbes are
concerned.
It is admitted by foreign electricians
that the progress made in the
United States in the utilization of
electricity is far in advance of that of
any other nation.
Owing to the constant cheapening
of gas the average size of gas
engines is increasing; fifteen to
tnuill) *IIVU IIUISO urn IHMV ClimMIl
size, and ton to twolvo tlio avennM .
Paper bedclothes arc made at a
fnctory in New .Jersey. They are
doubled shoots of tnunilla paper
strengthened with twine, and valuable
by reason of the peculiar proper*
ies of paper as a non-conductor, of
heat. Tliey have a warmth-preserving
power far out of proportion to
| tlreir thickness and weight.
f
Professor Rogers, of <kVashington,
has just mathematically proved that
the dynamic power of a pound of
rood stean.-eoal is equivalent to the
work of one man for a day, that three
tons wiil represent his labor for
twent, years, and that one square
i mile of a four-foot seam w'M effect
j as much as one million men can do
I in twenty years.
From seventy-five to eighty per
cent, of the earth tremors observed
in Tokio, according to Prof. Milne,
; may be accounted for on the supI
position that they have been produj
ced oigter by local or distant winds.
The only connection beween earth
tremors and earthquakes in Central
I .Japan is that they are both more
frequent about the same season.
A new process of manufacturing
electric light carbons of |-.nnoi 1 and
battel v plates consists in dccompo!
sing natrual gas unjler high beat and
pressure, which gives a hard, very
I corn pact and almost .chemically
nure carbon. It is then crushed,
ground and molded in about the
same way as coke, from which electric
light carbons are made (procurable
from gas-housB and oil relinory
j retort*.)
'Are you superstitious?'
'Not very. Why?'
'Do you believe it is a sign ol
death when a dog howls under youi
| window at night?'
'Yes, if 1 can find my gun bofor*
! the dog gets away.' -Omaha War/if
For a eold on the chest, a flannel
| rag rung out in boiling water au<
'sprinkled with turpentine, laid on the
I chest, gives the greatest relief.
Z1.C -^ 1ST ID "Y"OTJH COT
\ PR IL 5, 1888.
ci i i ciriN Tin: ni:\\ soi rn.
?"T"
How One of the Wards of tlio
Nation got 10 von wiili a Vankoc.
It grows cloarer every (lay that if
the New South doesn't lose her head
she has got a grout and paying fn.
tare lieforo her. If she run stand
prosperity she is hound to prosper.
A special to the Tribune yesterday
from lllackshoar, (ia., showed what
{rrout progress the valise-carrying
industry has inudo in tlmt Stuto of
lute. The dispatch stated tliut u
well-known Now Vorkor "paid a
neoro la? 1 $10 yesterday for currying
11is valise to llluckshenr a distance
of a mile." 'There is notliinu
{joino to prove that thene<rro hoy in
question possessed any particular
{renins for valise-carrvinir. lie is
j not referred to as the llofinann of
i valise carriers, as though he wore a
prodigy. It is safe to eoiudude,
therefore, that it was an ordinary
evorv-day neirro hoy that received
$ lOvor currying a valise to Hlackshear,
a distance of a mile.
'That hoy has {rot a yughty {rood
t-hinir of it if business doesn't fall otT
Say ho carries four valises an hoar
j only works ten hours a day, and al:
lows himself a month vacation in the
watermelon season. That would
{rive him $1,(100 a day or $0,(100 a
iwook; or * ;>>, I'm a month; or * KJ'J,
400 a year It is clour from thofco
figures thut the lllacksheur nojrro
boy, in case lio abstains from "poli'
oy," is on tlio highroad to fortune.
illow few persons, en/raged in the
j same braimli of business outside t!ie
New South belt, can make - I'J'j,|-100
a your! It is also clear from
these ligures that if trade generally
in and about Bluekshear and the rest
| of Georgia, pays as handsome a
profit as valise-currying, everybody
must bo feelino lirst-rate, and all
...
sorts of business prospects, includible
town lots and alligator pocketbooks,
must be enjoying a most gratifying
boom. Young man, go South. ? A".
) . Tribune.
I 'raise Your Wife.
1'raise your wife, man; for pity's
sake, /rive her a little encouragement
it won't hurt her. She doesn't ox
pert it; it will make her eyes open
wider and wider than they have for
the last ten years; but it will do her
/rood for all that, and you, too.
There are inanv women to-dav
' ~ J
thirsting for a word of praise and
encouragement. You know that if
the lloor is clean, labor has boon
pcrfomcd to make it so. Yon know
that if you can take from your drawer
a clean shirt whenever you want
it, somebody's fingers have toiled.
Why don't you come out with it
heartily; "Why how pleasant you
make things look, wife," or, "I am
obliged to you for taking so much
pains." If you gave a hundred and
sixteenth part of the compliments
you almost choked them with before
they were married; if you would
stop the badinage of women you are
going to have when number one is
dead (such things wives may laugh
at, but they sink deep sometimes,) j
fewer women would seek for other
. sources oi happiness.
"No, Sis, Sim."
A Goorgia professor has suggested
a substitute for the "his or her"
which has so long been the despair
of (franunuriaus, rhetoricians and
n
authors. The Georgia professor
takes the substitute directly from the
Latin. It is "so," and stands foi
himself, herself or itself. The following
declension is suggested:
Nominative, sc. possessive si's, objective
Stilt.
i, A sentence constructed on this
basis would be immense, and a column
of matter besprinkled with i
x/.v, siw. would turn the ordinary
i reader's head both ways in the ecu(
tre of the week for Sunday.
Innovation is tin? watchword of
the times, and our American lan
guago oilers a rich Held for the in- j
jgetiuilyof tiio inventor; but .sv, six,
j .s/w, we must say, looks and sounds
i entirely torynnovutive to constitute
Jan acceptable innovation. ,V? o
York I'jiwni/if/ k>u/i.
-? ?
A l'ro<lij{) on the Piano.
London, March 20. Ono of the
now youthful pianoforte prodigies*
F innde his appearance before a critical
j private audience last night. The name
of the child is Otto Hefner, a little
* fellow in a black . velvet Knickor.
hockot suit, lie is of (ierman oxtraoI
tioti, and although only ten years of
I aoe, has the confidence and bearing
I j of a man of thirty, lie has been
) trained from infancy for the musical
i profession, and his tuition has been
%
flf^
Hi.no ivr Aiiiiiun. {
based upon lines of thorough practical
work rather than on the desire for
early maturity.
Yesterday's experiment revealed too
little wonder, if anything, superior to j
youn^ llofman. lie is fully eoual to
that child. In mechanical precision,
and in dealing with technical ditTi. 1
culties ho may be considered his
superior. In thorough musical s
knowledge he is a Ioiijj way beyond
Hofmann. lie has been trained first,
by his father until (1 years of a?p>, '
and after that by Fran/ Krieker for
four years. Since that time he l
has been under 'the direction of
IblllS llillmr llii. /I i ul I i?n I
- ,,,w ^
composer *of llusie, while Alford
(ilous^ave the child practical and
theoretical training at the same time.
K.\ports now say that the child is a
finished pianist, '
1 lis rendering yesterday of ('hopin's
study in A Hat was considered perfect, ?
while in lh?cthovon,s sonata in It llat ^
he showed a marvellons decree of
musical fooling. A ) A'fenin<j Sun
O
Mrs. Cleveland. 11
The papers have boeft calling at- *
tention recently to the presence in '
Washington of a ladv who is said to
resemble Mrs. Cleveland so nearly
hat their identity is frequently con- J"
fused. A orea' many youn s ladies,
both in Washington and in other
i 11
parts of the country, are frequently
mistaken at first siedit for Mrs. Clove- r
land; not that there are any strono
points of natural resemblance betweou
thein, but because they "make "
up" as much as possiblo like that lady
of the White House. There has (
been a u( 'leveland craze" atnon^ tin j(l
ladies of the 1 nitod States ever! n
since the Western tour of the President
and his wife last summer. It ii
threatens to fur e<-lipso the Lanjjtry ??
era/* of a few years o^o. Youno1 la- )
<lies of widely different types, ima^rinin*r
that they resemble Mrs. C'lovoland
in some respect, seek to carry
out that resemblance by dressing as ^
nearly like her as is possible, by arrantpno'
their hair in a similar manner
and in other artificial ways. Mis. ( i
Cleveland is occasionally asked by I
ingenious youn^ ladies if she thinks |
they resoluble her. She* made one i
warm friend in St. Louis during her
visit there by ^renting one young
ladv who was introduced to her with: j
"()fi, is this the Miss S who is (
said to resoinble mo so much?M-.
II ihuimjton
Proportion of Heaths by Idyllt- |
ulnar. c
li
The yearly average number of
deaths from lightning in England is x
twonty-threo, or four and four-tenths
per 100,000 deaths. As a general t
i illV II nuuilin HIUl UIIIUSS poi.SOIl.S lire v
killed on tho sj>ot bv lightning they (
recover. A person struck by lightning (
is more or loss stunned, and deprived
of consciousness for a time, often,
no doubt, by more fright, in which '
ease the effect is transient; but some- '
times in consequence of a shock giv- *
en to the brain, in which case there 1
is a certain amount of paralysis of
motion and sensation. The appear- (
ances after ddath of bodies which )
havo been struck by lightning vary |
extremely. Sometimes they retain '
the position which they occupied ,
when struck; while in other cases
they may be dashed to a codsidera- (
bio distanco. Their clothes are often
burnt or torn, and have a peculiar
singed smell. Metallic substances
about the body present signs
of fusion, while such as are composed
of steel become magnetic.
A Woman tit the Kc!>n.
Some years ago tlitis "is to say, :U>out
four or live -there was a small steamboat
plying on the Mississippi river and officered
by a certain Cnpt. Miller. lb- was
still a young man, though in a responsible
position, and was but lately married. So j
fond of his wife, moreover, that lie could ,
not bear to leave her at heme, as did the I
oilier river captains, but carried liei bark j
and forth with him, trip after trip, between '
New Orleans and M< mphis. She grew in
time quit familiar with his duties, and
I during a sudden Illness of her husband
[ a* sinned command of the boat, and managed
her so well that the mates and rous
tal'xHits acquired a wholesome respect for
her authority and judgement. Later the
husband died, and having nothing but his
j salary as captain and a pi^ ownership in
I the boat, the widow founu herself under!
I the necessity of doing something for her
living. Such a thing was quite wlthopt
precedent, hut she went before the proper !
authorities, passed a searching exainina
tiou as to iter qualifications and was per
mitted to assume the command of the
baat, under the title of ('apt. Mary Miller.!
She lias retained the position ever since,
filially securing entire ownership of the j
i little steamer, and is a great favorite all j
j along the line of ports that lie between the ;
, two points of her route. Now a company
in Huston is playing a lit Ho steamboat
drama, entitled "('apt. Mary Miller,"
founded upon the stirring experiences of
the first female stenmliout captain.?N. ) .
World.
*
'' " ' * *
NUMBER 38.
IlrlCHi-tfrnc.
What to expect in bonnet* Women.
The Milliard * la told to jjo to tho nnt,
>ut ho generally goc%tn hi* Uncle.
Epicure* Mill hold that good raw nys
.era do not r<'<|itiro any condiment.
If you want to know what a sliding
wale is try to handle a wet fish.
What part of the turkey miirht summon
lln tritOv}< til <lln??i?rV !'!??? rleiimut o>L- -
Tin? bootblack deserves to succeed. He
(cts right down t<? business.
At the dose of the lust fiscal year there
vere UK},007 pensioners on the pension
oil of the government.
A man who is naturally a genius can
ouduct himself in such a manner that he
ie may be considered a chump.
A man is a good deal like a foghorn,
iftcr all, and when things look dark and
;looiny, lie is apt to go oil' on a toot.
A better way to make money than by
hooting pigona is to saw a cord of wood
?r shovel coal.
If you live on less than you earn you
rill soon 1>< able to count up your cash in
he savings fund.
We knew ii would come at last. A
oung man recently died from the too
requenf use of a b;ass mouth organ. This
s a terrible warning.
"Lizzie, did tin doetor propose to you
D-day?" "No. mamma; he only asked if
oil would live with me after I got mar
led." .
.'ho chewing gum habit is said to have
leconie quite common among C'ongn vslien,
some of \hr>m should beware ??f
VITI.MMIU' llll'ir JUU
A little boy r<?' iiti> infoimc.d ?? * that
ils fuihcr whs suiTering wiili iiilluiiiiiiatioii
f the hllig*. We always thought lie was
terrible blowc
There is a yotui; lad.t in a girls' school
it this Slate Vlio goes by the e.h klinine of
Postscript." Iler real na~xto is Adeline
iloore.
What mainly puzzles the small boy
khen he begins to study polities is this:
How does it happen that a drum major
ias never been elected President?
Tltt? spirit of Captain Kidd lately told a
nodinin that he buried no treasure at all.
le said he intended to, but'he paid a
lumber's bill in a lit of absent minded
less.
Whatever you tuny bo sure of, be sure
it least of this, that you are dreadfully
ike other people. Human nature has a
nucli greater genius for sameness than
or originality.
".My errand here to-night," said a young
awyer 10 a daimffd on whom he had call
d, "reminds ma of the cry of an owl."
'Indeed," said the maiden; "what is your
uraud here to night?" "Courtship. To
vit, to woo."
The be St dressed gentlemen are always
he ones whose appearance is never couipicu
>us. It is not the coat, the tnjusers,
he scarf, or the hat that makes the gentle
nan, but those who wear these things.
It is a noteworthy fact that, of the sev ral
hotel proprietors who have lately
lied in various parts of the country,
icareely one was under sixty years of age,
md several were nearer eighty.
*
Scientists,tell us that a man's brain decreases
In size ns lie grows old. The liu.
nan brain, it appears, weighs the heaviest
ctween the ages of fourteen ami twenty.
This explains why young men know so
nucli more than their elders.
The girl who wm" the most constant in
tier attendance at the sowing circle where
dot lies were made for the heathen, is
now the wife of the man who lias to s<-w
in his own buttons.
Friday
Washington horn on Friday.
Queen Victoria married 01. Friday.
Xapoloou Bonaparte horn on Friday.
Battle of Bunk r iI 11 fought on
Faiday.
America discovered on Friday.
Mayflower landed on Friday.
Jean of Aie hinned at the stake on
Friday.
Battle of Wat' rloo f >n??iit on Friday.
Bastilo destroyed on Friday.
Declaration of Independence
signed on Friday.
Battle of .Marengo fought on Fri
day.
Julius Cjesar assassinated on Friday.
Moscow burned on Friday.
Shakespeare horn on Friday.
King Charles I beheaded on Fri
day.
Battle ( f New (trleans fought on
Friday.
Lincoln assassinated on Friday.
Family Pride.
Dying Man (faintly:) "Darling?"
Sorrowing Wife (notween sol>s:)
"Yes, dear."
Dying Man: "When 1 am gone,
love, I desire that you shall marry
again as soon as you can."
Sorrowing Wife: "Oh, why do you
talk like that?"
Dying Man: "Because I know you
will anyway, and 1 want people to
understand that it was my request.'
Lnirrfl Citizen. ' .