Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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'JPlio End of a Quarr ol. Mr, Torry wa? au old baoliolor and Miss Briggs was an old wald. 'Ho llvod iii tho brick liouso on tho bill and sho in tho cottago Opposite, and they wore mortal cnomlos. Ho despised hor because she kent two rtrt*s ?nd s cansrv and she loathed him for his af leo tl on for a hugo mastiff, and au old kuook kneod horso. Miss Briggs would bayo hardly felt pleased had sho known that Mr. Pony rode back and forward on this worn out pieco of horse-flesh for the purposo of annoying lier. Thoy never spoko, but thoy managed to keep up a porfoot warfare by dis agreeable manners and wrathful glaucos. Sho sat hour aftor hour boneath tho canary bird in tho window, with hor cat perched upon tho sill and hor knit ting In hor hand, throwing glances of scorn to tho opposite side, whoro ho, with a cigar and nowspapoiy recoived and paid thom back with interest. For two years they lived and fought (md no ono could bring about poaco bo tween them. It was a pity, tho neigh bors all sahl, for Miss Briggs was a dear llttlo soul and thero was not a hotter man in tho .country than Air. Perry. "Julia, my love," said Mrs. Perkins ono aftornoon, as sho entered tho cozy p?rl?r. "1 am going to have a party and I want you to como down in tho after noon to tea and romain during tho evening, livery ono will bo thoro." "Will that old bach over tho way bo thore? "Mr. Perry? Oh, yes! Wo could not got along without him." "Thou that settles tho matter. I shan't go." ' Kow Julia, don't bo so foolish! If you remain at home bo will think that you are afraid ol' him." Miss Briggs thought tho matter over. Wei jj it would look a little like that, and she would not havo him think so for the world-thc concoitcd wretch I Airs. Perkins went homo and it was arranged that Miss Briggs was to spentrtho afternoon and romain for tho party. Sho was a pretty littlo woman and it was always a puzzlo to every ono why she novor married. Sho had a round, rosy face, clear-brown eyes, and beau tiful bair, and if she was 30 there was not u smarter woman in town. Sho stood boforo tho looking-glass in tho chamber and fastened ber lace col lar over tho neck of her dress with a plain gold brooch, and began to think that sho looked very woll. Thoro was iv bright, healthy flush upon hor cheek, and her eyes woro full of light and beauty. Sho walked into Mrs. Perkins' sit ting-room and found hor awaiting her With a smiling face. She thought that she must bo in a vory good humor, but said nothing, allowing tho good lady to Bmilo as long and pleasantly u3 sho wished, Sho understood it all when supper time carno and Mr. Perkins entered, followed by Mr. Perry. This was a well-laid plan to mako tho two become friends. Miss Briggs bit her lip and inwardly vowed that nothing would tempo her to give "that man" hor hand in friend ship. Sho hated bim and always would. Ho was placed directly opposite at tho tablo and many times forced to pass tho biscuits and presorvos, and Miss Perry accepted them, nltbnuph shr? d? L'laivd lp Mi.\ I.'erlvhis vlfter suppet Uliit ? In y uciivly Chi'k'od hoi. Before ''vening they were bi th p .. sufi, '.o' ii io bo' civil j lout M jas Buy :> v..!.; Ifighit-.i'.'-i v.hon t'ho found her.-cd tau*1 to hilh M illi Coi'.1 and pleasnntluin . i iviiy. At tho end of tho evening Miss Briggs was at tho door ready to depart, when lie called: , "Miss Briggs, I am going right up your way. Will you ride?" Would sho lido behind that old horso and besido that dotestiblo man? Sho was wondering whclhor sho would or not whon Mrs. Perkins carno and tri ll m phau t'y led her out and packed her into tho carriage. It was as dark as pitch and thoy had to let tho horso go his own way and And it tho best ho could. Ile did so very well until they roached the cottage, and then ho was bewildered. Mr, Perry spoke, jerked tho reins, but to no pulposo.- Ho thou took out tho whip. Whether his natural dislike to that article or the memory of the in dignities ho hud suffered from tho hands of tho owner of the cottago overeamo him it is hard to decide, but at all events he kicked up lils hCols, ran a few 'yards and fell, overturning tho buggy and its contents. Miss Briggs was up in a moment, un harmed, but Mr. Perry was silent as tho grave. Sho ran shouting through the darkness until Mr. Perry's "help" carno with a lantern to her assistance. They found tho poor man half dead boneath tho carriage, and while Han was at work Miss Briggs ran home for her own servant. Alter much hard labor they succeeded in extricating him from tho wreck, but bo was senseless and they bore him homo and sent for tho doctor. Upon examination they found his leg lo bo broken, and thus Miss Briggs* enemy was at her mercy. Tho days and weeks that followed were dreadful ones to tho sufferer, but Miss Briggs never left him. Hay and night, she stood besido him and her plump hands administered to every want. Ile forgot tho cats and the canary. Ho only saw a littlo patient woman with a pretty face, trim figuro, and tender hands, and-would you behove lt?-fell in love with her. How could ho help lt.. Sho had sat by him through tho dreary days of pam, she had brought him her preserves and nico invigorating cordials. She had, in all probability, saved his lifo. What could bc do? Nothing but fall in love. "Miss Briggs," ho said, one day when he was able to sit up. "Well, Mr. Perry.'? "You have been very good to mo, and 1 feel as though I owe you a good deal." "There! now stop just whoro you are. You owo mo nothing." "But would you mind if I trespassed a littlo further on your good nature?" "Not at all." "Woll, Miss Briggs, will you tako mo m chargo for tho rest of my lifo?" "What?" "Will you marry mo?" Miss Briggs blushed and hor answer carno thus: "I will marry you." Thero was a wedding in tho church a few weeks later. YOUNG poultry of ali kinds should bo kept growing; aftor aomo of the earlier hatched chickens can bo sold and glvo moro for tho younger ones that aro coming on, provided of courco that fair prices can bo secured. FARM X?OTK& How GIRLS MAT BUILD A POULTRY FBNOB.--Som6 girls who aro poultry fartnora have no fathors or brothors to build fonces for them. So mo girls' fathors and brothers will nov bund fu?mes for thurn until i"u} ond-by," although tho fence question ls a sorlous ono now, when tho hons must bo kept from tho corn, tho duoks from tho strawberries, and the turkeys from the young chickens. If the poultry dopartmont ls grand enough to neod soparato yards for dlfforont breeds, and ohlokens of different ages, fence building and mending is an important part of tho work and oxponso. Any vigorous girl who can play tennis well, can make a simplo lath fence, If tho posts have been driven for hor; indoed most girls can drive in light soantllng posts "all by their lane." Tho girls who aro not equal to oither of tboso tasks may like to know of a light, por table, and serviceable fence. It Ia made by nailing laths togothor lu square frames, which aro to bo tlod or nailed to oaoh other and to small stakes pointed and driven into tho ground. For grown-up chickens fourteen laths aro enough for oaoh f ramo, which will bo four feet squaro. Tho length of a common building lath is four foot, and ono's calculations for fonces of this kind must bo based upon that. Tho bundlos sold at lumbor-yards contain about one hundred laths, and will make sovon frames or twenty-eight running foot of fencing. To make tho fiamos lay out a square of lour laths, nail thom in place, and then nail ton moro laths across, that will mako the dis tance bot ween thom about three inohos, Make it all firm and straight. Turn over tho frame and olin eh o? br??k|off tho nails, driving it moro from that sido; for it should bo as strong as possi ble with snell light material. Clinch ing nails aro best. Dr Wo in ono stako for ovory two frames and fnston two frames together, and thon attach to their posts with nails or strong twine. Ono frame must bo loft looso for a gate. This makes a stronger fonco than ono would suppose, and will stand against high winds or almost anything but largo dogs, which sometimes break them. FLOW RR bunns.-A vory common mistake in sowing dower seods, as well as oilier seeds, ls in covorlng too deep. As a general rule, cover only to tho depth of ibo thickness of the seed?, or with modlura sized soeds like balsams, /innins, otc, a half au Inch or so is nono too much. Such line seeds as portulacos neod only to be pressed into tho soil with a pioco of wood, or tho palm of tho hand. Always press tho earth down llrmly after sowing all (lower seeds, else thoro is danger of their drying up before the roots can got a firm bold of tho soil. Seeds of tho ba rd lor annuals may bo sown whore these aro to grow, but, as a rulo, lt is preferable to transplant, as tho plants aro generally stronger and stand the drought bettor. During very dry weather, and when tho seedlings are first sot out, they should bo watered frequently. Provide some support for all such annuals as rcqulro it, or tho plants will become weak and struggling aud do not mako tho show they other wise would. Tho weeds should be kept down and tho ground loosened ofton, so that tho plants will rocoivo tho full benellt of tho rains and dews; wliiob tliey will ?nt If tho ground is I allowed to become bani lyiti '>ai>?. i. AN AnUNiM.NOK OT .>WRRT (,'OU':?. v--Fv?ty fitviiiiir's family . hould luxyo, > ail abu?dai cn s.vtioi cor.?, abd that, ivtoitiift, ii (liny arc fond ol' Ji.% ;i\l that e&ob wants twice a tiny, duiner mid suppor. Many pretor iii, it it eau bu bad but once daily, at tho supper or evening meal. A. succession sowing or planting every ten days or fortnight will givo a plenty until frost comes. This, which is a luxury to mo3t people, can bo bad by tho farmer without cost, as tho resulting fodder will moro than pay for tho sood aud labor. At the lato plantings give extra fertilizing; it will como back in tho foddor. There are still many who do not know tho super iority of sweet corn over tho "roasting ears" of Hold kinds. Wo do not name varlotios, but any kind of sweet corn that with wrinkled kernels-which can bo procured, is vastly better than bold corn. If intending to save seod, plant at a distance from common corn, unless that is quito out of tassel. PBUUAPS NORWAY LEADS in kind ness to dumb animals, if lt bo kindness to allow horses to drink whilo feeding. They have a bucket of water put down I'osido their allowanco of hay. It is intorostlng, says a recent traveller, to seo with what relish they take a sip of the ono and a mouthful of the other alternately, somotimes only moistening their mouths, as a rational boiug would do whilo eating a dinner of such dry food. A broken-windod horse ia scar cely ever seen in Norway, and tho question is ir tho modo of feuding has not something to do with tho preserva tion of tho animal's respiratory organs. Til Bills Is no plant that enjoys plenty of good manure more than tho rose, and a lack of this will always result in scraggy plants and miserable blooms. Cow manure is exceptionally good for roses, especially when reduced to a good compost. Dig in plenty of it about tho roots, and especially uso plenty of it when tho roses aro first planted. Tine timo for corn-planting varies with the dntitudo, and also depends much upon tho weather. When tho days aro mild and tho ground warm is a safo rulo, whorovor that may bo, In all. localities. Tboso conditions aro essential to tho production of a paying crop of corn, namoly, good seed, a rich friable soil and thorough tlllago. WHAT is it that can bo takon from land and leaves it hotter? Tho answer to this riddle, says an exchango, ls in the ono word-clover. And its advice is to sow clover whonovor thore is a chanco, and to sow it liberally. It is tho farmer's only opportunity of mak ing, under ali circumstances, a cloai profit, gottlng'a valuublo crop without loavlng tho land In a poorer condition thereby. _ FANCY FLOWER GARDIONS.-Tho inclination is grown for carpet bods and fauoy flower gardons. Star bed in fiowor gardens aro much patronized, as aro also croscents, horse-shoes and other fanciful shapes. Tho star bods isoffec tlvo when occupied with foliage plants arranged so as to givo tho vivid hues In tho center of tho bod and tho more subduod and sombor fol Iago at tho tips of tho star. ? "TIIBRB ls learning enough-ln tho world just now to solve any quostlon that may arise; but there is not wisdom ono ugh, put lt ull toge Lli or, to toll what makes ono apple swoot and tho next nr>.e nour." < BMMWaaMMMWm lias been boforo ti a public now about ton years, and in fe?iat tlluO ba? iirnvcd itself to uc all taut it lias been represented? It is purely vegetable, contains nothing narinful, and IMHB S purify tile blood and CURK dis e as e as it puts tho Kidneys, tlie only Mood purifying organs? in complote health. It Cures Permanently. Wo have tons of thousands of testimonials to this oftbet from people who were cured years ago and who aro well to-day. It ls a Scientific Spe cific, was not put upon tho maricot until thoroughly tested, and lins the endorse ment of Prof. S. A. Lattimoro, M. A., PL., LL. D., Offlcial Analyst of foods and medi cines, N. Y. State Board of Health, and scores of emi nent chemists, physicians and professional exports. H. H. Warner <fc Co., do not cure everything iront one bottle, they hav ing a specific for ouch impor tant disenso. Figlit sliy of| any preparation yyillOii Ol aim" infallibility. Tito testimonials printod by iii ??. Warner &> Co. are, so far as they know, positively genuine. For tho past livo years they have had a stand ing oiler of $5,000 for proof to the contrary. If you aro sick and want to get well j HF': NAMING T?ll?J 1JAI?Y/. Tlib SolbntlftO und Id t erary Principios Involved. ICIuoldntcd. "Writers spend much time and thouglit in selecting a name for a play or novel, for they know that success is largely dependent on it. Parents, how ever, aro strangoly careless, and unsclen tillo In giving namos to children. In the Harvard and Yale catalogues of last year 1 And but two or three really good combinations. Usually, when a now comer arrives, some old family name Is taken; or, If tho parents ex ercise an original choice, thoy are too much excited to bo guided by any sound ouphonlo principles. Thoy for got that not only from tho social point of view lt is vory advantageous to have ono's name remembered, but that from tho business point of view notoriety is capital, and must be obtained by per sistent and ingonious advertising. Nor ls the saving of time and money on tho part of tho knocker at the gato of notoriety tho only thing to be con sidered, for. from tho altruistic point ' of. view, tb? keening' bf Cbc effort bf j roeolleetlon oh tho part bi' tho world ls far un ?re iiv.r.or.ivu.. Tia economy of j UKI pubho si too Vs ut enevg> wagtet) iii . iii h ii mera ble unconscious oifot'ttf tb vc m?mbi-r a nimio wlthoub?any corners foi tho memory to giu?p, but pbrstst ently thrust before it, would result iii an increase oE available mental force applicable to Bottling tho question of futuro probation, or to raising tho ethical standard, or to reforming tho ta ri IT, or to disposing of the surplus. Tho importance of tho subjoct loads mo to suggest one or two of tho chief fundamental principles of the science of naming children. The system ls sim ple, and any provident parent can eas ily master and apply it. fl.) Avoid odd, or eccentric, or poe tic combinations, and be guided by ouphonic quality only. It is true that an odd name may bo remembered, but tho association with it will not bo pleasing. Tho Idea of oddity or affec tion may attach to the shadowy per sonally built up in tho mind ot' tho pub lic. Under this rulo hyphenated names, especially hyphenated Christian names, like Floyd-Jones Robinson, aro to bo avoided. Writing tho first niven name with an initial and tho second in full is also evidently opposed to correct scientific principles. (2. The best form of name is a dactyl and a spondeo, liko "Jeremy Taylor." Every ono hos beard of tho "Shakes peare of divinos," and bas a dim Idea of an agreeable personality attuchod to tho nutno. Had his numo boen Chnrlos Taylor lt is far within bounds to say that his reputation would bo about one third of what it is now. (3.) If tho surname ls not one that can be troated according to the above rulo, lt should bo fitted with a given name, such as to bring tho combina t on as nearly as possible to the above length and cadence, as Sidney Dobell, Ellery Vane, Henry Ward Beecher. Danto Rossetti, Theodoro Watts and t:iolike;or, otherwise to two long syl lables, Uko Mark Twain or Brot Harte. Tho 8ub-dlvision3 of thia branch of tho subject are too numerous to be given, but all rest on principio No. 2. The phonic valuo of tho surnamo is, undor our custom, tho controlling element in practically applying the science of names. Tho great valuo of names beginning with Mac or O ls ovulent, because they so readily combino with the ordinary Christian names. Any one would bo favorably dispose'. I o Arthur O'Connor, for instanco. A boy porvados our quiet neighborhood simply because his name is Johnny Mac WU or tor. Ho is not in any respect a remarkable boy, hut his namo forces him into promi nence by its phonic valuo. Thoro aro somo ton or twelve boys who aro com rades, but ho and another dactyl spondee boy, Emory Watson, aro tho only OHOS ovor spoken of. No doubt there are others who do ns much mis chief and mako m J re no se. but theso two reap all thc jame. -.m Thanks. If anyonodoes yon a favor or gives you a present, say "thank you" In your prettiest manner. Don't allow yourself to fall into tho wretched habit of saying ..thanks" or keeping quiet. Tho effoct of tho slighting word upon tho feelings of tho person to whom you aro Indobtod io very much. Why, an obligation is almost cancelled by a graceful acknowledgement, and no ono should bo BO ungracious as to be want ing in politeness in this particular, lt ls expected of you to sot tho example. Wu Point ?rido To tho ?'Qood ?amo Rt liotluV' won by Hood'a Sarsaparilla. In Lowolt, M.?;. ?., whoro lt 1B pro pared, thoro ls moro 0/ Hopi's KarHunarllla eold than ol all othor modi-: I ?os. \Vlioto neighbor hoods aro taking lt at thc rw.o timf, .ind lt has given tho best of satisfait t >?> ellice H i Introduc tion iou yoma ago. Tnt? : TIM iiot ?'o it ino medi cino did not possess moil'. If jon . iff or from .Impuro blood or doblllty, i ry Uood'ij varsaparllla and you will realizo Us p-> "H.ti curativo power. UI had salt rheumon tn. lort arm th foe years, Burrorlngtort ibly. I tool ll od'sSarsaparilla, atti! tho salt rhoum has outln v 1 AppoArci." n. M. M11.t it, 71 French st., Lowell, M NS. Hood's Sa rsa pii^HIa Bold by all dntgglsts. (1; tiii (<>\ <."* IV? par?d only byO. I. HOOD A CO., Al"' ar???,l>? voll, Ainsi lOO Uose? Ov<o ??oJlar ilOUSElIOLD, HOME-MADE cro:uV. ihO?S?O UVO doll cious and very oasi'v uinde, n?4 aro tlio nicest ot cheeses for iii') end "i a dinner party. Two break , l. ot'ij .-fol of puro cream moke a pretty little ? ?meso for a party of six. Mix tw'g leaspooiisfui of salt with this oream, stir lt well and thou pour tho croau into a china slop bowl, in willoh a clean picco of soft linen has boen laid. Whon tho cream has thus beon turned into tho cloth draw tho onds of tho cloth together, holding the cream as it woro in a bag, tio it tightly with a string, and haug tho bag In a cool place to drip; when tho dripping of moist uro from tho bag ceases, tho clieeso is ready; lake tho bag down, turn tho contents out into a clean splint basket of tho alzo and shape you wish to havo your choose. Choose your basket as you would a pretty plato, only it is of tho cheapest kind. Tress tho cheeao into this and hang it Up, it. will get air enough through tho splints to dry it in a day or two, when you can SOIYO. If you mix it with pow dered sago you will havo on cxcollout Dutch cheese-that can be loft to hang longer. Shape it either in a neat square or any form you pleaso, and servo lt on a dish garnished with green leavos. Let it stand in tho icebox until ready for usc. MILKWEED rosii'ONS.-These aro not quite as easily mado, but aro amore silky and nearer puro white than tho thistle When tho milkweed pods aro ripe, make a collection or thom and they can bo kept half a year or moro before tho pompons ai;o made, if so de sired, or tho puff balls can bo mado at once, as follows: Have somo vory lino wiro,' such as Is used for head work, and out it into pieces four inches long. Dip tho pod iii water, and then open il. lt will bo found filled with many bun dles of wob-ltko while ?ber. Full off several of theao and wrap tho wiro around the ond3 which were attached to the center stem. Brush off tho black seeds adhering to tho othor ends. Wire a number of those bundlos, as just doa crlbed, thou with anothor piece of wire to wind round and round, put them to gether as you would a hoquet of flow ers, thus making a rounded pompon. City iloriats have these colored a deli cate pink, and they aro extremely love ly. GRAPES IN FEVBK.-Dr.llartsen of Cannes recomnionds grapes as a valua ble diet in fever. The grapes contain a considerable amount of hydro-carbon aceous matter, together with a certain quantity of potassium salts, a combina tion which does not irritate, but, on tho contrary, soothes tho stomach, and o?. .Uv is u'u'd With hdWantage, ev.o'h !)>. dyspepsia, VVhilo considering I the r.'ubo-hyurv.L'M i^iiitivlnCU in tb? ' gmpo, v > arnot not vi .vJed jv? otranto noluKj piutVoal'A>;ly Mnitarje ?okij Ur. 1 iv.'wtihut lhinl<!i the na?'isi'iiif-: i tdueii ? ci tit i hese acids OoO much >;<-gi-.-'.od. it ia indeed knov.:t that Lhe.j aie changod to carbonic acid in tho blood, and aro excreted as carbonates in the urine. Feasibly careful research might show that, under so mo ci rc urns tances, tho organic acids are changed to fats. Dr. Hartsen bollevos that the organic acids should bo ranked with tho carbo hydrates as foods. When fresh grapes are not to be had, raisins or diluted wino might bo us?d. A CHILD who k?s a morbid propen sity to torco buttons, beans, etc., into his nostrils keeps bis whole family in a state bordering upon terror, for they never know ot what prociso moment they may bo called upon to perform upon Master Harry's nasal appendage. Pressure against the ompty nostril and quick, strong breaching into the opon mouth will dislodge tho foreign sub stance and send the suffering youngster upon lils way rejoicing. QUERN ANNE'S CAKE.- TWO pounds of Hour, ono pound of Bugar, ono pound of buttor, three eggs, ono teaspoonful ot cinnamon, a wino glass of rose water. 13eat buttor and sugar together, whisk tho eggs and add them, ttien tho flour, cinnamon and rhm wator. Koli out the dough thin, cut into diamonds and stick the top full ol sweet almonds blanched and cut in hair, liako in.tins in a moderate ovon. STEAMED EHUD ARIL-Wash, peel and cut the rhubarb into inch pieces. Fut lt Into a granito double boiler, add ono cup of sugar for a pint of fritlt,and cook till the rhubarb ls soft. Do not st'.r lt. When the rhubarb is very sour steam it without sugar until tho juice flows, then drain it, add the sugar and steam again till tho sugar ia dissolved. Or pour boiling water over it. and let it stand llvo minutos, then drain and steam. CuANiJHituiics.-Fut three pints of washed cranberries Iii a granite stew pan. On top of thom thrco cups of granulated sugar ano: th reo gills of water. Atter they bogin to boil cook thom ton minutes, closely covered, and do not atir thom. Kouiovo tho ?cum. They will jolly whon cool, and the skins will bo soft and tonder. On APE BUTTEU.-Stew the grapes and squeeze out eaoli pulp from tho akin, removing tho seeds; keop tho skins in a small thin bag; to each pound of pulp allow ono pound of sugar, half pint of hard cider, teaspoonful of cloves ono of cinnamon and ono. of nutmeg, boil this very slowly, putting into tho bag of skins tied securely; when it jel lies by dropping in cold wator it ia dono. Fut away in jars; for an ornamental dish lt can bo boated ovor and put into moulds to jelly. GUAPE FitKSEuvEs. - Pick grapes from the atom, skin and put thom in a kettle, cook until tho seeds aro loose, then attain, woigh with tho skins, and to every pound allow a pound of sugar. Fut tho grapes In a kottle, whon boil ing add tho sugar and cook slowly till dono. Tt is said America's first tempor?neo so3ioty was organized m 1808. . .New Aucctloto? Of don. Grant. When G cu. Grant waa about to retiro from tho command of tho army, enid Capt. J olin B. Loud iu convocation a few clays ago, ho made a farewell tour among the posts aud outlaying military stations of tho wost. I was assistant ?otiug adjutant general in tim district of Now Mexico at tho time, and it was with Gon. Hatch and myself that ho and Mrs. Grant made a flying trip with ono car and an engine from Santa Fo to Trinidad. Wo wera fairly flying along tho road when tho glasses bogan to fail off tho ico coolor. Thou Mrs. Grant began to got nervous, ?'.Keep calm, Julia," said tho gonoral in bis usual collected mannor, "thero ls no danger ns long as tho car stays on tho track.? "It's all very woll to talk, goneral," said Mrs. Grant, "perhaps if I could smoko as you do 1 might havo somo nervo, too." . Tho only thing Gon. Grant dreaded was tho appearance of delegations and committee-men at tho stopping places on tho routo. "Anything at tho next station?" 'io would inquire. "Yos, gonoral, there's a crowd wait ing lo seo you." Then ho would look grave for a mo ment beforo asking: "Could you forgot to slop lhere." Bonn Y (looking out of tho window) What's tho matter with that horse, mamma? Mothor-Tho horse Is balky, Hobby, ho won't obey his driver. Bobby-Well, what's tho man pat ting him for? Mothor-Ho is coaxing him. Bobby (with au injured air) - -That ain't tho way you treat mo when I'm balky. _ ' Dumous. - Little Gotham maid (reading)-And tho Fairy Prmco and I3lue Eyes wore married and llvod hap pily ever aftor. Dillie Huston maid-Whoro did they live? Littlo Gotham maid (consulting the last pago carefully)-lt doosn't toll. Little Boston Maid-That was a so rious omission on tho authors part. As wo do not know where tho prince and Bluo Byes lived, wo have no way of establishing their social status. "How does the cow answer?" asked ono mun of another who had latoly pur chased a cow. "l really can't say," was tho reply, j .for I havo never asked her a question." A LADY at Memphis says she doosn't want any jewelry, hasn't a looking glass In the house, and wouldu't take a silk dress as a gift. Memphis has an other living curiosity-a cross-eyed cat. FASHIONABLE DAUGHTER-Mara um, do you really think it is wrong for mo to flirt in a mild sort of way? Fashionable Mother (torrifled)-Clara, I am surprised at you. The Idea of an unmarried person flirting! MISTRESS-I wish I knew how to havo my photograph taken so aa to plcaso dear Charlie. Familiar Maid-Let mo sit for you' Miss Emma. FRIED tomatoes aro a luxury; peel the tomatoes, cut in slices about halt an inch thick, dip each slice into white flour, thou into beaten egg, sprinkle pepper aiid'srtll ovoiVoach ?llco? and, fry 1? hot lard i T; i\Mi make a good gar nish. A xii /:. WHV to nerve tomaioeu i$ io .stew them ihpioughly, and iney lire improyocvby a slow and gentle shunter-* lng, us uiooh os aiij oilier voguuvbie. Season with butter, pepper and salt, and tv littlo sugar. Line the dish In which they aro to be poured with thin slices of nicely browned toast. ninrlun Hm lund, Tho celebrated authoress, so highly es teemed by tho women of Amorlca, says on pages 103 nud 445 of her popular work "Jive's Daughter's; or, Common Stnsc /ol' Haid, Wtfc and Mother:" "For tho aching back-should it bo slow hi recovering its normal strength-au ALL COCK'S POROUS PLASTEK is an excellent comforter, combining tho sensation of tho sustained pressure of a strong warm hand with certain tonic qualities developed in tho wearing. It should bo kopt over the seat of uucnsluoRs for .several days-tn ob stlnato cuses, for perhaps a fori night." "For pain tn the back wear an Ai.i.cocit's POROUS PLASTER constantly, renewing as it wears oil'. This is an invaluable support when tho wolght on tho small of tho back becomes heavy and tho aching Incessant." EDITOR (to assistant)-In this obit uary notice, Mr, Getaroundlato, you say his many friends will shed a tear. Shed a tear is a trillo weak. Assistant-How would shed a tear or two, answer? Editor (dubiously)-That's not much of an improvement; . Assistant-Well, mako lt his many friends will shed two or three tears* then. Editor-All right, lot it go at that. P?LICH JUDGE - Prisoner, you are charged with having brutally assaulted this man. "I admit lt, your Honor, but there were extenuating circumstances." "Ot what nature?" ''Why, this man asked mo 'If a hon and a half laid an egg and a half in a day and ?v half, how many-" "That will do. You aro discharged." A Narrow Escupo. "Yes, ? hud a very narrow encapo." said a prominent citizen to a friend. "I wan confined to my' bed for a year and my friends gavo mo up for a consumptive's gravo, until I begun using Kemp's Bakum for tho Throat and Lungs, and hore I am, round and hearty." You will- lind it for salo by atl druggists. Prlco COo und ?1, Sample Motile Free. "IT seems to me," said a traveling man to a young lady upou whom hu was trying to make an impression 'that mon now-a-days waste too much time in words. They expiate needlessly on any subject they may be thinking about. That is something I never do. I eau toll all I know on any snbjoot inside ol two minutes." "Yes, I should think you could," was tho demurely spokon roply. Frazor Axlo Orense. Thoro is no need of being imposed on il you will insist on having tho Fra/.or Brand of Axlo Grouse. Ono grousing will lasl two weeks. For tho past ten months the railroat accidents in this country have avoraget ono for every llvo days, and two-thirdi of them havo been tho result of care leesncss. Sleeplessness nnd fearful dreams ore tue ^ liciiluiy bl(;cp uniiu iyrco ?3 bein fi But nowadays tue nervous 'system hos* tho mind, nnd nt night tho worries, lng tho day. Hence the brain has The proper medical remedies are seda regulators of the general functions, nerve tonic demanded, and ht Paine's" cflcct is obtained. It also contains, in the materia medico for constipation, I brief description of thc medicine wbkhl tossed in sleeplessness from night to them to awake moro tired than ever.' jwoplc will find vigor and perfect health COMPOUND. Price $1.00. Sold by WELLS, RICHARDS? BURLINGTON CUSTOM EU--Your razor draws kind of bard thia morning, Mr. Jticksing. Harbor--Yes, sab. 1 dono uso It on Sam Johnslng at tho poker party las' night, an* lt ain't got back do algo yet, "Hal Was there trouble?" "You list bot dar war trouble. Hub I When Johnslng war called ho bad llvo aces." "Elvo acesl Thero aro no Ovo aces in a pack of cards." "Guess dar ain't. Dat's what caused de trubbol. "What did you bold?" "Only live jacks." HKTU?B?TION.-Mr, Kldby Nu pop (co unsuspecting friend, wno has invi ted him to assuage bia thirst)-1 toll you, Smith, that boy of mino ls a re markable little fellow for three years old. Tho other day ho said to mo HI, there, Smith I Where's he gouo? I say, bartender, this chock ain't mino. That gentleman that Just went out In vited mo-I don't know why ho Bartender (to bouncer of tho estab lishment)-Jimmy, back up de door. Two drinks, twonty-iivo cents. Thank you, sir. "MY friend," ho said, <lI trust that you abommato liquor?" "No, slr," replied his friend, "I'm in the business. 1 sell it," "Why don't you give up such an ac cursed business and engage in some thing hotter?" "Wha-a-tl Give up tho liquor busi ness Just on the eve of a presidential oleetiou? Say, old man, d'y? think I'm crazy?" A YOUNO sportsman on horseback hurriedly enters a meadow and accosts a farmer's boy: "Say, boy, "have you seon a deer pass this way? You know what a door ls like?" "No, I don't." "Why, something like a donkey with short ears, Have you seen anything answering to that description?'' "No, not till you carno by." "LKT mo see," mused Sqnildlg, "didn't Ca>sar conquer the Germans, tho Gauls, tho Britaius and the IIunB?" "I bel levo ho did," replied MeSwill igen, "Why do you ask?" "lt occurred to me that it was the only occasion on which one klug beat four racos." (, BROWN (proudly) -~ There som? whis'.ty old man . Unit I have had ji) the hon'fie for llffceou year . Friend (tasting il)-that's lija nutt lei Brow0; can't yon give lt away? By ita mild soothing and healing proper ties, Dr. Sago's Catarrh Kemedy euros tho worst case? of nasal catarrh, also "cold In Ibo hoad," coryza, aud catarrhnl head aches. 50 centB, by druggist*. Thoro is no way to tempor brass ox cept by hammering. Tnoro ls no chemical or boating process for tem pering anything but steel. Iloauty Without Taint. "What makes my skin so dark and muddy? M y chcoks wore onca so smooth and ruddy ? 1 uso tho best cosmetics mude," la what a lovely malden said. "That's not tho duro, my charming Miss," Tho doctor Batd-"remember this: If you your skin would keep from taint, Discard tho pbwdev aud tho paint. "Tho proper thing for all such ills Is this," remarked tho man ot pills: "Kurich tho blood tua! m ike it pure i In this you'll lind th? only euro." Dr. Plorco's Golden Medical Discovery will do this without fail, lt han no equal. AU il mugiste. Ono plank 9 feet-wide and 20 feel long, without knot or blomlsh of an} kind, and another 12 feet wide, are among tho contributions of British Columbia to the Liverpool Exhibition. HOW llltollllient Women Decido. When .tho .question has to bu mot ai to what ls ibo best course io adopt to soenro a sure, sato and agreeable remedy for those organic diseases and weaknesses wnlch aflllot tho female sex, I boro ls but ono wiso decision, viz., a course of bolf-troatmont with Dr. Pierce's favorite Proscription. It ls an unfailing specltlo for periodical pains, misplacement, Internal hi liamma lion, and all functional disorders that ren der tho lives of so many women miserable and joy loss. They who try lt, praise it. Ol i druggists. . Don't allow ashes to be put in a woodon box or barrel.In your building. Always have an bon ash-can. That tired fooling, so suhtlo and yet so over powering, ls entirely overcome by Hood's, Sarsa parilla, which t' nea and strengthens tho system ?uni gives a good appetite. Ile sure to get Hood's Sarsaparilla. '?100 Coses Ono Collar" ls truo only of this peculiar medicine. Tho Sultan-wont into morning for Emperor William, although lt la com Wary to Turkish custom. Nothing Cures Dropsy, oravol, Bright's, Heart, Dlalmtes, Urinary, laver Dlsoaaus. Nervousness, Ac., into Cami's Kidney Cure. OMco, 831 Aron St., hhila. $1 ? bolt JJ, S for $\ At Druggists. Cures the worst oases. Cure guaranteed. Try lt, Thoro aro counterfeit 600 franc ; notes abroad in France, tho work of 1 Americans. I&uplure ciirogiiimiiitecd by i Dr. J. t?. Mayer, 831 Arch St., Bhll'a, ' Fa. Ease at once, no operation or de lay from business, attested by thou? > sands of euros after othora fall, advloe free, sond for circular. Tho Vondomo, New York, has its dining*rootu in tho ninth story. The guosts go up to moala in an elevator. FITS: AU Fits stopped freo by Dr. Kline's Urcnt Nervo uestoror. No Mts af (er first, day's uso. Mar velous cures. Ti ontlso and $3.00 trial bottle freo to I Flt coses. Bond toDr.Kllno,931 Area st .rulla., e?. 3 More than 1,000,000 pounds of tip . foil aro used yearly in this country tc cover tobacco. Sleep! "V earliest luid surest sign? of brain exhaustion* stored up to meet ttio next day's demand been so overtasked tbnt it ls unable to control trouble^ nud work ore as present as dur not timo to recuperate' Its energies' tlves, nerve tonics, laxatives, and Coca and celery arc the sedatives and 'Celery Compound tkclr fall beneficial 'scientific proportions, tko best remedies of laud kldocy and liver disorders. This Is A has brought sweet rest to thousands who morning, or who're morbid dreams caused tVll nervous,sleepless, debilitated or aged In the great nerve tonic, PAINE'S CI?LERY Druggists. Circulars free. ON & CO., Proprietors, I, VERMONT. rps Ely's Cronin Bairn IS SURE T? CURE C?ff.l> tn HEAR yvicicrA'. Apply Halm Into caph nostril BB? a Vut" T? can^i a M. U'IMIH.V nullit? llt'tMlnllll "Vitt i'm ?. ' ?.: . < u i ?. ol III li:.I \vutl<lct-lll|r. "Any boeill lemuel lu on? romllng. OlastoS ot ios7 at UnlOranro; loo? av Ilotroii inoo at Philadelphia, 111? nt Wafhltixt.v.t, 1310 ut newton, targa UIIWFUH ot columbia I,a\v HtuJontn. nt Yale,Wello-doy, oborlln, University of Point,. MioM' ~iui University, UiinnUurjtia, kc. ko. Underfed br ltioiiXnitPHOoron, tho s?ionUftMIoD?; W. w. Anion, . JUDAH |?, JIKNJAMIH. .Tud.ro Omsos. Dr. Uno^Ti.'H; H. COOK, l'rin N. Y. Htato Normal Ooltego, ko. I.'iufclit by ccirrcBpniKlciicc. Prospecta* I'.OST vnv.u from Pilot'. IAMHETTE, CH FifUi Ave . N. Y, Surgical & Medical Offioo, SOO JV. Second St.,Philo. Kotau, -10 years. .Make special. Ijr or treating all forms of Ner vous debility, low of vigor, youthful Imprudence and ail form? of Epeelnl dtooasos. Con sultation by mall Btrietly pru vntn on.l COnKdcnt'o! 1 SEND FOR WOK. Ofllco Hours 8 A. M. to 2 P. M., aud from 0 to 9 P. M. Cloaca on Sundays. WANTED: ONE AGENT FOR THIS COUNTY, UK???H3?EKW iwr eulmgl,,g a5IA[jL 1'iiOTo LIFE-SIZE CR A VON PICTURES. Tho pictures aro really beautiful. I,tkonosa guaranteed. Ageuts can easily get ordor<t omi mako a largo commission. Allure*j, International Publishing & liri ul lng Co? 028 M A UK ET HP., PHILADELPHIA. SFRIGTED^UNFORTUN?Ti Aftor nil othoro fall oonoul? i 390 H. loth Ot., below Callowhlll, Philo., Pa. SO yean ??perlene? In all APECIAV. dliesse*. Per? manently restores those vrealjcncd by carly IndbCT*. lions,Ac Call or write. Advice free end strictly CHI? Adajitlal. Houri > II a. m. till a. ?ad a to to cvednaaj Sena atoiup for book. STOPPED FREE .uart* letts SvcctJt. ii-1 Por; nu' lloefotf.d. u ..I N i vii ansAT WW, , , N.VRVE KKSTOKKIV vjMJfl/cp ail Hin Li * ,\>l:?r DliKASSJ. M/UW Ml . >.. * fW JV.'K- . i -.../?.??... ii ?J XiHr.nt>,ci*. A'I..<?,., !?:.>... ff 1 i,-. ... ...-..! ikiJTti rm lr ?a . i II'.I.II, ihr jr i . i >, Mli?tl>t,l. .' I tl).II ,t II fui . H tv?. Min.. of ,J?>llll 1? UK. M.IM. lOl Aldi r\ I li':'\.trIpili?. Ft, ??o/? u,-?i.'. ?awAHH oynfii\lriUu h'i?.n}j>.< Dutcher's-:- Ligfithing FLY KILLER ls rmi ik death ? enally prepared and utica ? nodanger ? Mo* don't live loufj enough to net away. Uno it early, frooly ., rid tho house of thom nnd bu ntpoaco. Don'ttako anything "jus| ns good." Thrro la nothing Uko tho gonuluo mitch" er'g. KKKM'K IHITOHEU. St. A lonna, V?. $ IOO to $300 k????? us. Agents proferro t who ran furnish their own horses and ?Ivo tholr who!? time to tho business, Hpnro momonts niny > o proiltably'employcd also. A fevr vacancies In town* und cities, u. v. .I0UM 80?T & CO., 1013 Main ?f., Rlchm n?, V??_ . Cum tn rt TO 6 DAYS. Jn.r.nlscJ not M earn? SUlotur?. Mr 4only by tb? KuuChemtatlOo. ClnolnnotlJ Ohio. T proscribe and fully on. dorso nig U as the only npeoiflc forthoccrtalncuru of this disease. a. lit iNti it A ir AM,M. n., Amsterdam, N. Y, Wo have sold nig (J fos many years, nnd U has pl ven tho best ot satis faction. I>. ?, DYCITE A CO.. Chicago, llf. M.utM^l.OU. Sold by Druggists* Bert lu tho World. Maxie only by the Kra?crtubrloft 5S^?tCWcai?.M.Y.*?t.Ual?. ?oMitwrwwAw?. PAYSthoFREICMT 5 Ton WnKon fJr.nlen, Ifta I.??cr., ttuel n.uioit, Itu? tut Dtrii md Dcm Bax tn BT.IT ititSeiU. Vor fr*? DCM? Ut* ste.tina ibis t>?r" ?t< %4dtlM JONIS or Ol H flit AM TO it. ll IN U I ? A MT ON. Nt V, ? MTO ?t lutine ami inn Vc molt money ?ior!?tn-fi>ro?tlt?t? ?I anything atiA Iii th? wnrM. Kllher .??. Colily outfit tLK. 'lenin f Kia. Adtlr*l(. TBUB * CO , ?ug'i.lt, Mollie. OT.P ts worth pur iii. > ettlt's Ero PA?T? II wortbfMJOQ, but U sold at ?So. a box by dealer?. ?M9_ ?Sil? OroM EnglishOoulan. MW S ? Sl?So Khei.in.Uio Remedy. Ovni ?ox. M i round, l i SN tin. Pl$Q'S CURE FOR CONSUMPtlO Si 7 THEY PASSED.-The Now York Hoard of Aldermen bas achieved a na tional reputation for the slowness with which lt accomplishes nothing, A member meeting an enterprising citizen, said: "VVohad a vory Important two houri session this afternoon." "What passed?'? .'Woll, tho two hours passed, thal was all." "That was enough for ono day,' Miss BEATTY was a reniarkablj young and handsome-looking womat for ber years, and she nover told ans one how old she was. ,kGraolou8 mo, Miss Beatty," said ar. old acquaintance, admiringly/ono day, "how well you keop your agoP' ..Thanks," sho ropllod, with a smllet .'How do you ever manage to do lt?" . Oh, easy enough; I nover give lt away." A LADY was asked what sho thoughf would bo tho llrst thing women would do If they had tho making of the lawsi "Limit the number of lodge meeting*" waa the prompt reply.