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in?ocv*r .nitWthe wrong, the right up* holdinfSvf !? npite oliflri clamoring erica; HVboccr up4M the ttlae, the truth un foldi Along theWft where ignorance lie*. 4 Whoe'er, oppftefng vice, ia nobly firing To virtue MBw his beat end* avor. However lowly life he livca, is living a. h . A life to lifi^fottea never. *3* " HVhoever hand againat oppreaaion. Where'er jWfclighting eurae may fall, Whoever mfflat hia life a awaet expreaaion Of love offlMl righta for all. ia a? wing ."Whoae frnita ahall gladden bearta for- ? ever. Whoe'er to an aflieted brother, i Kx tends the hud el charity. Whoe'er bind* up * heart that's bleeding, Witli^ Whoe'er, from tin and shame and degra dation. Assists an erring one to riee; Whoe'er, with lite itself upholds the na The law of lore forgetting His name, though written not in eod|14t story, Will live in homan hearts forerer. J. v*??. a tr An Afo^iftn Adventure. tey ROBERT BAH RE 8 CRAMS if.! i * O ED ittid I ??|ij on tU miriD4|iML * lug our guide drat r nvdljK gram of n proposed buut i log trip on o*ejMde of a '/ smooth stone. IwNiVM ocraslonal suggestions nnd.Hked In numerable questions. all of *lld? Bl ?uzo tralftfolv ! answered, while 1 looked on In slpeftce. "But m here, old man.** said my fellow t^uttst, abruptly. "Isn't tils-the place where the forty thlevea nto Sup posed to tens out?" Our guMe shrugged his shoulders, nnd In %roken English suggested that If ?we were afraid to ventliv on tbe trip we could stpy at Alexandria and l>e quite out of teach ot the robbers. "But wa ar<? not afraid," I Interposed; "we only want to be prepared for the robbers 1% case fitey put lo an appear ance." i "No robbers?no need prepare,** lti enzo said, eameitly. "I been there be fore. many a time." j Tills popular American ) phratfe brought a smile to Ned's lips, a8 he closed the contract. . , , Nod and I were visiting my .uncle, who was then the United States Con hiiI at Cairo. We bad planned a hunt ing trip up the Xazaau Hlver long be fore we met ltienzo; but Unc'c Diclt would ;iot let us go alone, and it< was ?only after much persuasion, thai he ?consented to a journey uitaer tie su pervision of tbe dark-skinned native. There J|ad been numerous stories floating about of a band of robbers ?uppoM^r.fo exist in that locality; but this. Instead of deterring us. only made us lioth?'N?-*d particularly?more anx ious to go. It was ^ery eorly the next morning when i)i{fi|izo called us. So early, iu fact, thutf Ned refused to get up for some time, and-1 was uluu>si forced to pull him out << bed: Hut we got started finally, aud wlteu we halted, late in the afternoon, Ned nnd I took a run of several hundred yards to * gfrltclk ^ufe 111ttgUftl lefts/ and wli *>ve >.VJed|nff^o ha# made all the preparations for spending a night in camp. Throughout tlie evening \*c*tfafci)>eil Along tfip'rltwra fccrirWr of'glirtir, lAit1 with indifferent success, and it was noi until the next morning tlint otir hopes iu that line were realized. / , ltienzo and I were kneeling together behind a clump'Of bushes about mid day. a pile of game lying at our feet, Ned was some distance from me. but 1 could hcar*lilm'haugiu? away when over the sky was darkened by a ilock ?of ducks. ? * ! ? 1 had just finished reloading my shotgun, and was about to take aim at a single bird Hitting on tho sand miiu(> distance away, when Illenzo help up a warning linger. "No shoot." he whispered. "Lay down?quick." * ? ?' I dropped.tci the ground, wondering What his suTldeii action meant. ? "Keep still?I feteli boy," he went on. In a low tone of vole*, and the tiext I Instant he had walked qulctiy away, i 1 lay 011 tho ground several ifioments "before he returned, bringing Ned with him. They had evidently held a con sultation, for, as soon as they reached me. Ned whispered: "Ilenzy says we are in for It now. old man. That story about the robbers Is only too true." "What do you mean?" I ashed eager ly. "llave you seen " "Hush!" Interrupted Ned. In a guard ed voice. "Don't soeak< so loud, ltcnzy nays he knows mey are around here somewhere, probably attracted by our ((hooting." We ewrwlcd on our hands and knees for several hundred yafWs, and then ? became disgusted with our guide'v plan of action, aud tmlted abruptly. 'Tainels gone," lie groaned. "Wo no gOOOl" ? - ?- - "I guess you're rlglit," agreed Ned. Kilting dfwn. "Those thieves have taken our aid fw ?if part. I'm triad of 1t. I/et'S way jwrt! nnd shoot them as they come up." "No care," saldjRlcua*. "They shoot too?many 'nore.r , "Then what are we to do?" 1 asked nnxlonsly. "TlibM fleliewe will be hero In a little while. Can't we hide some where?" This suggestion seemed to bring an Idea Into tho brilliant intellect of our guide, and he at once set. forth a plan which we strceuousljr -objected fa, at tlrst, but were fcrfitl? (breed Co nil opt. It was simply a scheme to bury us alive to hide us from the robbers, and we sot about at once to put It In operation. ?> ? ?? ? For fully an hour we dbg in the eoft aaud, and then, everything being ready, Ned and I stretched ourselves out 111 tho excavation, and permitted Rlenxo to shovel the earth to|fc>n the lower part of our bodies with the stocks of our rifles. ? ? ? This done* li# die^wAnd fdt some minutes, and then returned with two peculiarly shaped gourds, which he had evidently picked up In the woods. With a skill that excited my admira tion, ho cut away a pleco from the narrow neck of Avegetable end then another from Ite |*rge, i*up4. hollow body. This done, ho fitted ttt< Jorger end over our nostrils, permitting ptbe smaller one to project sn inch or two above the ground. Having done this, he covered as up completely with | the sand and smoothed over the top [ so as not to show nny signs of Its having been disturbed. Then be went sway. For about su hour we lay there in silence, suffering tferrlbly from the heat' of our ridlculsus position, bat not. daring (6 move for fear of disarrang ing the mechanism df our breathing apparatus. At tbc end of that time Ned spoke: "Say, Jack.** , Ills voice was muffled and almost In audlble? sounding somewhat as If was talking over a telephone wire, but he managed to make himself beard. "W?IW" 1 answered. "I don't want to say anything against >the character of IUenzo, but " -ttnt up," said I, "some one may hear y?u." My feilpw sufferer subsided for scv efqI minutes, sod* tfien-? I tell you, old man." be went ou, "that Bensy is playing a trick on us. I believe he's gone himself to?" "Keep still," I whispcrecU r*l shan't do It. That old rascal say, Jack, I'm going to get up." I was horrified at the proposition, but before I could protest, he bad leaped to his feet, and with an inward gf6a^ t followed h Ik* ex am pie. Our appearance above ground crcatcd a sensation. II. T' ' y > Duaworthy sat on n cauqpj \V4th lis lefjrs crossed ami a Iook-1; nldJtipO resting in one liuml. He \imi 4. telling a story*. V TThP 'tjarty'consisted of thirty English students under tlie leadership of Major Duuvortli)-, a ud they were muring a plmsnro trip through the interesting portions of Egypt and Nubia. The Major himself was a well informed man of the world wlio had traveled in rfVery civilized qfuotry on earth,' aluV (v. **<*iyi<hat wireguo^ trivlllzed.* the time of his introduction "to uie reader he was ?ngaged in giving a wrfr 'interesting ;yul etfr-itliig account of An *a(ivcntoiHywHicfr one^ befel 'him in India. "Now, my lioys," iie said, puffing away at his huge pipe, "we are com fortably settled for the night. I wish some of you would build a good Are in front of the big tent to cook those lisli over. When you get ready I will show jfou how to broil tbem. I don't want to trust any of you boys again, after spoiling those mackerel we en light the other day." Tho young men gathered wood for the tire, while the little Major went on: "Wpeftklng of llnh puts me In mind of something that happened to me in In dia n long time ngo.'' If they hart ttpok<h? of gunpowder or steamboats the result would have pecn the tame-hut let thrtt pass. "I was tlioro for so vent 1 years, and 1 saw the most surprising things that any moHnl man could ever think of. You may talk about your slelglit-of liawT performers and Jugglers, but I i tell you, boys, there Isn't anything I can qqnul,those.Iijdlan fakirs. *'N6w,' they'll 'tiftto h' pipe?Just an i ordinary pipe like this?nnd put some Idnd of stuff iiv.it that'll burn like eoal oil, and llgfit It. You can see it flame j up out of tlie'bowl of tho pipe. Then one of them will put his Hps to the eud of the stem aod suck all that Are litre bis month aif If it were feWioke. 1 never saw anything like it, but that was the easiest thing in the whole lot, "Next, some more of the fakirs built a< pile of Ktmvlngs -nnrt logs on the giomid, and ftanced nbofct it nnd yelled fbr all tfcey were wortto. Then, pretty soon the man that bad taken In the tire went up to thd pile au<l kneeled by. it and breathed- yes, sir, Just breathed an the wood, and It got ntlre." ? r . ?The Msjer paused 0br breath aid tooked complacently nbout liim. As a story teller he was the equal of Baron Munchausen, nu<l, belug encouraged by bis auditors, ho pfocecdcd: , "The pile of wood took tire easy as anything, and horned tfUe so mfch straw for about fifteen minutes. Then," continued the Major, impressively, while the studeuts bold their breath, "a man came out of the ground whore I that lire had been, aud " , A'faint shriek from the story teller, t gasp of terror f?oui his circle of lis teners, nnd a yell of fear from those In the Immedlato vicinity of the fire. ata<umpn tiled n sudden scattering of tba flames-n* two forms bounded into the air. ? 0 ? "tH fattier die this minute," said Ned, glaring about him. while I trembled ifc lay stiocs, "than stay down there nnd bo roasted. Theso fellows l?iUJt;U?lr l^re right an top of me." i we mt|t ha## frJfchtcTiA t^> party nearly to death, for with our soiled clothes and dirty faces, and tho unfor tunate time of our resurrection, not ono of the students would approach u*. while the Major lay on his back pant taf out a supplication for us to treat him like a fcntlcmnn and a soldier, illenao wtto ba<.k some tints after* I tiKWHHe ?6ySe*?l emahated from the bud of robbers. "Rienso." mU Nod. solemnly, -you IT **Mo f Ink dem so; ivas 1 nryau tnat ^o^a't bajbWed on y| be 4mml> "And you^fc^gt tbo camels back?* I asked. "Yep?all rlgbt, came!.** : "Then lei*c. so bone.** ' 'KtlfUMNNI^iad ?0 soon as w? cf*?l4ffeQ?fKtanaf apd yawing aulOt Vciara trftS to Alexaa drla. ?- ? When we reached the hotel we dis charged our guide and veat 1<* bed, not rising until, late tbe.next day, when we found the gallant Major Dun worthJ ^waiting us In the parlor*down stairs. i oHexjsit* to asaurp Uf that the rnnior of his-hair haffJttfc turned whlto with j fright at the conclusion of his remark able story was a vicious falsehood set -Afloat Uk jealous enemies.?New York SelL1 1 'Deofries* is more common in cold countries than iu warm climates, the ear being very sensitive to atmospheric changes. ??" Medical examiners Cor life Insnrancc societies have added the term "coffeo heart" to their regular classification of . the functional derangements of that or* gan. Its effect is iu shortening the long beat of the heart. According to A. W. Kumiss. United States Consul at Balila, Brazil, discov ery has been made that there are in the interior of Babia vast forests of trees from which, can be produced a high grade of rubber, knowu to the ^radc ns manlcobn. The nrea. which is declared to be very large, can not be uefined. as the region has not beeu fully explored. The great weight of storage batter ies, which is so serious an objection to their use on passenger curs ami smaller carriages, is an advantage on switch ing locomotives, as it gives necessary adhesion. %Such a locomotive is being testod in the yards of the Prussian State railways. Among Its special merits it claims that of being always ready and that of costing icss than aicui^fot* irregular service. * i Trees producing cotton are cultivated in' lioffcouaes of Ver:i Cruz. Imt their fibre is Tory short. HalJsoo Cuevas. a planter of Jalisco. Mexico, is credited with having developed a tree of rapid growth that produces cotton of long fibre aii(t fine quality. The advantages offered toy this tree, it the claims are realized, are that it is free from tho diseases that are Ko,4llaaati;ous to the itton plant, lt? yield is.gropter for the me area, and Its product can coiti and a higher price. > ! Unpinn sense orgriu$ lack.the refined ticjjtai-y of the instruments of science. l)r. Carl Snyder points out that count less millions of stars are discovered py the photographic plate and the teles cope in place of the ".000 visible to the eye, and that an object one-ten-thou sandth of an inch in diameter is com paratively large in a powerful micro scope. although one of one-two-hun dredths of an inch Is scarcely visible to the unaided eye. The tread of a fly, which requires a delicate ear to detect, is magnified by the microphone Ij tlio tramp of cavalry. Klnipln Creation*. These are generally the most costly garments you can ;Jiave?costliness that apes economy; garments appar ently made of unobtrusive materials, but which, cost guineas' a yard. Such gowns cannot be often repeated, and therefore are charged a higher price. A good deal of purple la being worn Just now, especially in cloth, but about the skirt there does not seem to be any trimming at all. Ail the gorgeous neas Is reserved for the bodice. Very simple net skirts are rendered ruinous by the incrustations of velvet and the addition of chenille fringe, and, what ever the groundwork of tho dref?':, ibe ornamentation is tie same. Crepe do chlire is one 6f ttieae CeluSlvo fabric*; It looks simple aiul costs a fortune, says the Queen. Many of them are being made,up with n sort of under skirt. We are veorlug tov?ard tr'.pln skirts, but as yet we only sco treble flounces. The one touch of economy i t any of the modes is thnt a good gown, with a very little alteration, can fc* made to nhfl>t*er a doable purpose, and this especially applies to panne and glnce for evening and Cay wear.?-New York Evening Telegram. >? ? Me Forgot. "You soo that well-drcsred fellow coining across tho street? I'M hot yc*.t afe afraid to nak him to direct you to Third and T^nrkfct street?." sWld Chief of Detectives John Martiu tho other dly. "I'm not looking for trouble." replied the reporter. "Bui wliy?" Thnt'n .limtnie lliank. It's An old story, hut it'H clways fresh to Jltntnlc, because Ids fid fYlends alw.iya baro Ik on tap when tuey meet hitn. 'Fifteen years ago .Tinunle was a bunco nun. One day ou Kearny atreet lie walked tip to a seedy looking young fellow and n$ked bjii 1,110 V,'J to Third and Markoi streets. ^ "The stranger, with a pcotftfil look, sirollpd across the street. "Long afterward .Timmlo Bat tho same chap, and, pot recognM&t him, asked; " 'Bay. old man, I am a stranger in town. Can you show me tho wa^'to Third and-Market streets? ?' 'Well, for the lord's sake, haven't you found that place yet? You asked me that question more than a year ago.' was the reply."?Ban Francisco Cn"- . 1V1. Gunnery practlco at Nowport has i frightened away tho flsb? CWLDREN5 THE GRAFS GIRL. Iu Italy there one* lived a Tricked man named Borgo, wfco owued mi lea dad miles of beautifl vtoeysrds, bat -who would not paj the peasant* work ins In them enough wages to enable them to boy food. Yod may be retf sure that Borgo was not loved by the poor men and women and little chlidreu who toiled during the long, sunny hours In order to Hll his baakets with duater upon cluster or the beautiful purple fruit. But Borgo did not care whether they liked him or not, so long as he cou tiuued to grow richer every year. Among the peasants In Borgo's vine yard there worked a little girl named Bettina, who was compelled to sup port her poor old mother liy gather ing the grapes. Nobody knew better than she how hard it was to live on the miserable wagea which Borgo paid. One day, emboldened l>y her mother's suffering and her own han ger, Bettina went to see the wicked old man, and asked him to do better by the peasants, to add a few more copper coins, .which he could readily spare, to their scant wages. Borgo l&ughed aloud at Bettina, and told her the vineyard workers were well enough paid, and that lie should soon reduce their wsges still more. The poor child went away full of sorrow, sud Imparted the news to the othera, whereat they all began to weep and pray that the saints would soften Borgo's miserly heart. That aame evening as the peasants took their way home over the green fields, they noticed an old woman sit ting beside the wooden cross at the roadside. The vineyard workers often paused before this cross to say a prayer on their way to and from their labor, but they did not stop this time because the old woman bad one arm outstretched as though asking for aims, so they nil went by aud pretend ed not to see her. Only Bettina waited a bit, for the womun looked hungry, aud Bettina knew just how ..that felt. Presently she went up to her and she saw then that the old woman's trouble was quite of another kind. On the ground be side her was an overturned basket of beautiful grapes, and as fast us the dame tried to put the fruit back in the basket it ail fell out again. "I^et me help you, Signorn," cried the little girl. and bent over to assist her: but the-old woman called out shrilly: "Go away, go away! I know what your helping means. You will want me to repay you when you have re placed the grapes. 1 know?I know bow selfish everyone Is." Bettlua shrank back at the cross word*. but her kind nature soon prompted, her to offer her services again, which she did, explaining mean time that she asked no reward. Soon tho grapes were plied carefully Into the bosket and Hettina turned to go. The old woman bad watched her silently as she worked, but now she spoke. "My child," she said, and her voice had changed suddenly to tho sweetest of tones, "my chihk I thank you for your assistance. You are a dear, un selfish little girl, aiul you have made it possible for me to aid the peasants, although they nearly forfeited my help by their refusal to do a khully act. Know that I nm not an old woman at all. I am the Fairy Grapetta, and I watch over the vineyards. Bettina had never heard of her be fore, but she was sure she must really be a fairy, for as she spoke her ragged garments fell away, and she stood there clad in a long gown of purple silk. Just the very color of ripe grapes. Her face was Quite young now, and lier lmir fell about her shor.Ulers like a silver Shower. Id one hand she held a long wand twined about 'with clus ters of grapes and their glossy, green leaves. "Now," continued the Fairy Grapetta. "hold out your hand, and I will give you the power to mako the wicked Borgo repent." Bettina held out her right hand and the fairy slowly low ered her wand aud touched the fore linger and the little finger with it. "Whenever you please," she declared, **you can touch tho grapes with your forCL'-iger aud they w ill Oil with rich est wine." *U?ttina looked surprised, but sho WS8 a polite child, so sho tried not to show that sho doubted tho fairy's word. "Whenever you please," repeated Grapetta, shaking her silver curls and smiling kindly, "you have only to touch the grapes with your little linger and immediately they will be filled with earth." Aa soon ns she had said these things she flew right up in the blue sky and vanished. Bettina stood staring aftej; her and then down at her small brown hand, which she held closcd. excepting her forefinger and little finger, and this Is a position In which some of the Italian people hold their hands to this very day when they wish to ward off evD. "I give you power to make the wicked Borgo repent!" that waa what the fairy hsd said. But 11 Bettina continued her Journey homeward, she could not see how It lay In her power to do this. She stopped before a vine of wild grapes, which grew in thick clusters close to the roadside. She would try if what the fairy had sold could really be true. With her small finger ex tended she touched several of the lus cious grapes, and then brpfce open their satiny skins. When lol Instead of the fruit which she expected to find inside, there fell to the ground a little trickling shower of conrsp, brown clay. Bettina then tried the forefinger, with which she touched some of the nearest berries. These she pressed open, and behold! a grupefttl of rich, rod Wine flowed out Immediately. 80 then It was true, the faJrj liad really siren her this queer litlte gift. *?JZ?Z " to hw to make i? ?L 7k ^ peaMnU **??? w?Se?? JJJ" "hook her head sadly. she could not understand. Late that night, while she was sleep. in* softly In her little hut. she heard ioL^rrKcnied it wth* ??r i Fn,ry Gr?P???. ?nd Bet tlna awoke to find her standing at the iT ^tl; ?Iad 1,1 her *"ken wbes of pna?lo. with the moonlight falliuu upon her wonderful silver hair. "Get up! get up!" she cried. "Why are you not making use of your power? lou must go forth Into the vineyard nor^ wm to-mom>Tv the wicked ti?m. reiHint ot b,s ev? w?vh." Ikttina arose mid dressed, and fol Fairy out a the v?i 1 " 8he t*an,e to !,m vine yard. where the glistening p?rp|e grapes and their green loaves covered the vines In thick profusion. 'Now," said tho fairy, "touch every grape with your little finger, and then Jeir LiTV?" ",,nk out f"r PH.U " C "" """" ** ???<? Ajjn'n site vanished. ami netUna did ? r?? l,M- A? ?''? ?o?cl.cU srape after grape with her small linger all* at once she saw what the fairy meant her to do. and she ran home in the moonlight, laughing happily to her ble'in J.ay thCr? A,HS ffreat 1ro"' Sid '^r1-for ,bc srer* and rjTc<i ai,d "I am bewlich&I!" he cried ?r MMrtr nod at But """? *"? ?? ?-*n>. ho I,??I Wax vcr>* sol'r>' for him. for else f bee" SOrry for a,,ybody satd*: laSl Ec!ttinn st?PP<Hl to him and "Oh. master, it was I who bewitched your grapes, and It is a punishment because you would not pay us enough money for food. Only say that vou ,e you that1 vo" W,n b? WOM- 1 P^tiae "When Borgo heard this he screamed at Bettlna with all bis might. r nwny? *'ou evil child! Go away* awS ?VJ WlU ,mve *"? ^"nod for . , , Rut Bptt,"a dirt not move ;u li,ul Quietly and said: "ii, no, I am not afraid or you norso. for I 1IIU ?le olll I >: ; {32? "" ,our *""?? ?''U Borgo turned to his peasants. Burst open the grapes." ho cried nngrlly. "Burst them open. I say fi lu'rill!0 ^ n f6W Whieb ???? n"ed with clay, the rest are all rlcht SayTo Pfl5' y?" ?"ottshr ? " ' pay 3'ou enough wages"''" Ho "boutod-rt nJa ??"? for "7,ZTu? """" ?'nM ?' oLtor rL T ,llc CTiipM oK-n luster after cluster sent forth a bliower of brown earth, and the rine Juicy fruit was gone. 1>L' Seeing that his words made no im pression on the peasants, ami that his grapes wore indeed worthless, Borgo fell once more to crying wlu?t shall i doV" ile WlllIpf, What shall I do' I wiis iM, * Mill tarulmui." ' 1,1 " "oor Bettlna began to feci very sorrv for ko cruel. She went over to him ami put one little hand timidly on his sl.oul "I?on*t rry. master.' she said, "f.ir m\o I not told you that I will re store your grapes if only you will promise to puy your people fairly ro talr tard labor? 8eo.- .I,? J'l touched with her forefinger several him^fi Wt 'iiy ,?n tI,e Kro,,nd hotn^ ? ' ? P^nnaiitM standing by spmng forward and crushed the under his foot, and there at once, n tliin stream of red wi.re flowed olKl'it of'tho'vrh'ifr. ""K'kl}' " "Oh," he said to Bettlna. "I will Piomiso anything that you say; only fill my grapes once more, that I may not lose all my fortune." 3 sr>BOnttn,'mMpro,i,,80(I " ?Iiould be ?o. and Borgo promised to increase i.?? riwi*0" ?r ,ho poor P<,as?nts. which did, and ever afterwards Bettinn zi:aiyth*arnpoaM! years she prospered with the other ^nsnnts. and lived to bo an old old woman, and It was said that she pos M,?Hl''inP!"VCr,Pl"""!c ",0 Krapoa nt Will all her life long. One t4iing 1? certain, old Borgo believed ro, and never d,?red to llltreat his peasants Farmer Mn^,C' ,ho Iud,nnn Two Kilicri. In many ways the two Kaisers? Fruucls Joseph and Wllhelm II.?pre sent many polntd of contrast. In noth ing. perhaps. Is this more marked than til the feverish nctivity of the younger man and the quiet calm of the elder. The Oermnn Emperor comes near to realizing the Idea of perpetual motion; he Is essentially the traveling Kniser, and has visited every city of impor tance In Kurope?Paris, perhaps, ex cepted. Kven Paris he is said to visit Incognito. The Austrian Kmperor, on the other hand, rarely leaves his own dominions, and now, having renchcd the age of seventy-four, he announces that he Is no longer equal to the fa tigue of paying return visits. ? Pall 'Mall Gazette. ?oK|1n Pot Chtckvna. Among the recent Inventions which poultry fanciers And Interesting at the World's fair Is a pair ot goggles to be placed on chickens to prevent them from plrklng oat the eyes of one an other. Pugnaciously Inclined birds on a farm can do a great deal of harm to the others, and a* a protection against damage being sustained to the eyes,'it Is proposed to equip the members of the flork with goggles, . TAKE VHE CHANCE. ; Din to do rifht, ? -w Dare to be true: ' ' Then no one will be Quito so disliked as yon. ~. ?-Cincinnati Commercial-Tribuae. BE KISSED HER. Dashaway?"Did you kiss Miss Pink* rly's face?" Clevsrton?"Ob, no?her complexion.** THE BILLVILLE IDEA. Office Boy?"Man outside, sir, who says he ain't had a square meal in three weeks." Editor?"What paper does he edit?" WHY HE DID IT. "Harold," said his mother, severely, why did you take two pieces of cake from the plate?" 'Well, you see, mamma, I had to. I was playing that I was twins." TIIE INDEFINITE FIFTH. The Inquisitive Passenger?"Pardon me, but have you any children?" The Griszly-Whiskered Man?'"Tape! I have two living, two dead, and one married to the landlady of a select boarding house."?Woman's Home Companion. POOR MAN. * Mrs. D?lancey?"Men are so apt to lump at conclusions. Last night my husband acted awfully because he Im agined he had stepped on a tack." Mrs. Maekensle?"What was it?" Mrs. Deluncey?"Only a bat-pin."? Woman's Home Companion. THE ONE ESSENTIAL. ' "I believe,*' said the sanguine, but visionary inveutor, "if I only had time I could make a successful flying ma chine." / "Of course you could make it all right If you only had plenty of time. Time flies, you know."?Philadelphia Ledger. W-* POSSIBLY. Miss Askerman?"Mr. Nuptal. the widower, has bccu married twelve times." Miss Hopeser?"Why don't ho marry again?" Miss Askerman?"Probably he is su perstitious."?Woman's Home Com panion. A HALF TOO OFTEN. ne?"Yes. I inherited all my rich ancle's money, thanks to lus passion for travel." She?"But what had that to. do with it?" He?"Everything. He crossed the ocean nineteen and a half times."? Woman's Home Companion. NONE NEEDED. "What! Down town without any money? How care loss of you!" "Not at all; I'm shopping." Tin: HIDDEN FACE. "Ilollo, hello. Is this Mr. Jlgsou?" "Yes." . "Can I borrow your auto for this afternoon 7" 'Why, no. I shouldn't think you'd have the face to as;k for i(." 'I haven't. That'* why I'm asking over the 'phone."?Cleveland IMaln Dealer. IIIS RUNNIN' KEASONF. "Always defeated for every ofllce you ran for?" ??Always!" "Yet you're still a-runuin'?'* "Still runnln'!" ??Would you mind telling mo why?" "Not at all! I've been a martyr to (he rheumatism, my friend, and notli ln' knocks rheumatism like runnln* for an office 'gainst a feller that's six miles ahead o* you!"?Atlanta Constitution. SOItnY HE SPOKE. Husband?"That's a foolish habit you women have of carrying your pocket hooks In your hands when on tho street." Wife?"Why is It?" Husband?"Because a thief could eas ily snatch them and get away." Wife?"Well, If the husbands of other women don't give them any more to put In their purses than you give me to put in mine, the thief would starve to doath."?Chicago News. Oar Civil Malt*. There are fully 2,000,000 civil suits of law brought In the country every year. If the plaintiffs were different iu every' case, ono in eight of the voting popula tion could be said to be a litigant. As j it Is, the actual number of different liti gants Is not In excess of 800,000-400,- J 000 plaintiffs and 400,000 defendants? which Is one per cent, of the total pop ulation of the country, now about SO, 000.000. Iron Mountain, the highest eleva tion In Missouri, is but 1800 feet above ' the level of the tea. - la tlw EmU OR the Inst tea yearn th* question of road Improve ment has received a good deal of attention from the legislators in the Eastern ?states, notably in Massachusetta and Now Jersey. Careful study of the road question In these States soon developed the faet that the counties and totrns were doing little, and In many cases nothing, and that the roads were grad ually becoming worse instead of bet ter. In Massachusetts the Idea was first conceived of having the State and ? civil subdivisions thereof co-operate in the improvement of the roads. A State law emltodylng this principle was adopted In New Jersey about tbft same time as In Massachusetts, and for the last ten years remarkable pro gress has been made in these two States. Indeed, the principle of Stato aid has become so popular within the last few years that this same principle* has been enacted into law in the States of Maine, New Hampshire. Vermont. Kliode Island. Connecticut. New York. Delaware and Pennsylvania, and thft Idea Is being enrefuily considered by the legislatures of many of the South ern and Western States. Mr. M. O. Eldridge. Assistant Direc tor, Office of Public Itoad Inquiries of the United States Department of Ag riculture. recently made an Inspection trip thrush the States of Maine, Mas* aachusetts, Rhode Island. Connecticut and New York. In au interview Mr. Eldridge had the following to say in regard to the road conditions iu these States: "I am fully convinced from my re cent trip that the roads which have been built In the East through the aid of the States and under the direction of highway commissions are the best roads in the United States, aud are equal, if not superior, to the best road* In the world. This is due to the fact that these roads have been built under Intelligent supervision, by skillful workmen, out of the very best mate rials and with American road building machinery, whereas most of the roads that I have seen in the old country were built by hand, and have since boon maintained in the snme way. In spite ot the long drought which pre vailed throughout the New Englaud States during the spring aud summer, the State roads were linn ami smooth, and although I personally inspected over 500 miles of improved roads. I did not see a single one which had raveled, or which had signs of wear from the recent dry weather. In the southeastern part of Massachusetts | and along Cape Cod Bay. and in the southern part of Conucctlcut, the old roads were composed entirely of sand, but in spite of tlie dry weather, the State roads built on those sand founda tions are remarkably bard and smooth." Mr. Eldridge was asked If he thought that the people of the Eastern States, who had already built Rome good roads, and who have organized to continue the work aloug the present lines, would he willing to accept the co-operation of the Covernment. They have been building good roads for the past ten years, yet the work of com pleting the system has just fairly started. Even if the present plans and liberal appropriations are conti:* tied, it will take many years to im prove all the important highways in these States, and consequently the peo ple are anxioqs to secure any addi tional ai:l possible. The State High way Commissioners of Massachusetts. Connecticut. New York and New Jer sey expressed themselves as being In favor of national aid, and I believe that all good ronds people in the Eastern Stales are iu favor of it." Rr;tnntne of the Movement. The pood roads movement ot' to-day; began to assume national proportion* uuuiit twelve yv:?!???- A number o*. good roads outl?ti:>lasts, nmons thepr. Colonel Albert A. l'ope, Isaac It. I'o^* ter and General Hoy Stone were prin?* incut, had been trying for a number of years to arouse general interest lit road Improvement, but with t;mall suc cess, They were so much discouraged that, when it was proposed to hold a convention in connection with the open ing of the Columbian Exposition lu 18!)2 they hesitated. To the surprise* and gratification of its promoters, the convention turned out to be a decided! success and attracted the attention of the whole country. One of the principal alms of the pood roads people who met In Chicago wns to secure the establishment of some Kind of a Coverninent road otllce or bureau at Washington. A committer was appointed to lay the matter be fore Congress; a pamphlet of nearly 100 pages was prepared, and hearing!* were secured before the committees of Congress. The outcome was the estab lishment In the Department of Agricul ture of the Office of I'ublic lloads In quiries. with an appropriation of $10. 000. Its work was to be educational In character, and General Stone wa? made the first director of the office. The first Important work of the of fice of I'ubllc Itoad Inquiries was the collection of Information. Rond sta tistics were collected. Methods of road building were studied. Condi tions under which roads hnd to built In different parts of the eountry wero ascertained. Then all this in formation whs published in small pam phlets for free distribution to the peo ple. About fifty different publication# of this kind have been issued and sev eral hundred thousand copies have been distributed. A nunlufi flnn. The Danes have a new field gun which can fro 200 rounds n minute, weighs less than fifteen pounds, and has great range. Kvery Danish cav alry regiment lias a gun detachment now. One man carries the gun In a leather case attached to his saddle, an other eorrles ammunition and iiorsa Is loaded with a reserve supply. v The Hospital states that 2,289.578 pa tients are treated annually in Londf* hospitals and disnensarlea. - ?