The Bamberg herald. (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, May 09, 1918, Page 3, Image 3
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j SYNOPSIS.
1
CHAPTER I?Fired by the news of the
inking of the Lusitania by a German
submarine, Arthur Guy Empey, an American,
leaves his office in Jersey City and
goes to England where he enlists in the
British army.
CHAPTER II?After a period of training,
Empey volunteers for immediate service
and soon finds himself In rest billets
^somewhere in France," where he first
Snakes the acquaintance of the ever-present
"cooties."
-\ CHAPTER III?Empey attends his first
church services at the front while a Ger
jxn&n Fokker circles over the congregation.
I CHAPTER IV?Empey's command goes
jtnto the front-line trenches and is under
fire for the first time.
i CHAPTER V?Empey learns to adopt
the motto of the Brtish Tommy, "If you
Are going to get it, you'll get it, so never
; Worry." _
CHAPTER VI?Back "in rest billets, Em;'pey
gets his first experience as a mess
; orderly.
CHAPTER VTI?Empey learns how the
British soldiers are fed.
CHAPTER VIII?Back in the front-line
trench, Empey sees his first friend of the
trenches "go West."
' CHAPTER IX?Empey makes his first
'visit to a dugout in "Suicide Ditch."
CHAPTER X?Empey learns what conjstltutes
a "day's work" in the front-line
'trench
r CHAPTER XI?Empey goes 'over me
[top" for the first time in a charge on the
German trenches and is wounded by a
bayonet thrust.
CHAPTER XII?Empey Joins the "suitdde
club" as the bombing squad is called.
CHAPTER VIII?Back in the front
line trench, Empey sees his first
friend of the trenches "go West."
CHAPTER IX?Empey makes his
first visit to a dugout in "Suicide
Ditch."
CHAPTER X?Empey learns what
constitutes a "day's work" in the
front-line trench.
CHAPTER XI?Empey goes "over
the top" for the first time in a charge
on the German trenches and is
wounded by a bayonet thrust.
CHAPTER XII?Empey joins the
"suicide club" as the bombing squad
CHAPTER XIII?Each Tommy
gets an official bath.
CHAPTER XIV?Empey helps dig
an advanced trench under German
fire.
, CHAPTER XV?On "listening
post" in No Man's Land.
CHAPTER XVI?Two artillerymen
"put one over" on Old Pepper,
their regimental commander.
CHAPTER XVII?Empey has narrow
escape while on patrol duty in
No Man's Land.
CHAPTER XVIII.
I _
! Staged Under Fire.
< Three days after the incident just reHated
our company was relieved from
tthe front line and carried. We stayed
;in reserve billets for about two weeks
(when we received the welcome news
I that our division would go back of the
tline "to rest billets." We would remain
in these billets for at least two
i months, this in order to be restored to
! our full strength by drafts of recruits j
from Blighty.
Everyone was happy and contented
at these tidings; all you could hear
around the billets was whistling and
singing. The day after the receipt of
J the order we hiked for five days, mak!lng
an average of about twelve kilos
! per day until we arrived at the small,
Jtown of O' .
It took us about three days to get
[settled, and from then on our cushy
!time started. We would parade from
18:45 in the morning until 12 noon.
[Then except for an occasional billet
' or brigade guard we were on our own.
!For the first four or five afternoons I
spent my time in bringing up to date
fmy neglected correspondence.
| Tommy loves to be amused, and bejing
a Yank, they turned to me for
i something new in this line. I taught
them how to pitch horseshoes, and this
game made a great hit for about ten
days. Then Tommy turned to Amer
lica ior a new diversion, x was up in
! the air until a happy thought came to
! me. Why not write a sketch and break
| Tommy in as an actor?
? One evening after "lights out," when
j you are not supposed to talk, I impartted
my scheme in whispers to the secjtion.
They eagerly accepted the idea
*of forming a stock company and
jcould hardly wait until the morning
jfor further details.
After parade, the next afternoon I
was" almost mobbed. Everyone in the
section wanted a part in the proposed
[sketch. When I informed them that it
'would take at least ten days of hard
[work to write the plot, they were bit
'teriy disappointed. 1 immediately got
ibusy, made a desk out of biscuit tins
in the corner of the billet, and put up
a sign "Empey & Wallace Theatrical
!Co." About twenty of the section,
upon reading this sign, immediately
applied for the position of office boy.
I accepted the twenty applicants, and
sent them on scouting parties throughout
the deserted French village. These .
parties were to search all the attics for
discarded civilian clothes, and anything
that we could use in the props
of our proposed company.
About five that night they returned
covered with grime and dust, but loaded
down with a miscellaneous assort<
jd'
mmcm souarn
[0 WENT ? ?" !
flttfiDYDlPEY'
GUNIiER,SERVING Iff fRAWCE
?1917 BY I j
ARTHUR GUY EHPEY
, ment of everything under the sun.!
They must have thought that I was
| going to start a department store,!
' judging from the different things they
i brought back from their pillage.
After eight days' constant writing I
completed a two-act farce comedy
! which I called "The Diamond Palace
Saloon." Upon the suggestion of one
j of the boys in the section I sent a rroof
of the program to ? griming house in
i London. Then I assigned the different
j parts and started rehearsing. David
i Belasco would have thrown up his
j hands in despair at the material which
I had to use. Just imagine trying to
teach a Tommy, with a strong cockney
accent, to impersonate a Bowery tough
j or a Southern negro.
Adjacent to our billet was an open
field. We got busy at one end of it and
constructed a stage. We secured the
: lumber for the stage by demolishing
an old wooden shack in the rear of
j our billet. ;
, The first scene was supposed to represent
a street on the Bowery in New
York, while the scene of the second
act was the interior of the Diamond
Palace saloon, also on the Bowery.
In the play I took the part of Abe
Switch, a farmer, who had come from
Pumpkinville Center, Tenn., to make
his first visit to New York.
In the first scene Abe Switch meets
the proprietor of the Diamond Palace,
saloon, a ramshackle affair which to
the owner was a financial loss.
The proprietor's name was Tom
Twistem, his bartender being named
Fillem Up.
After meeting Abe, Tom and Fillem
Up persuaded him to buy the place,
praising it to the skies and telling
wondrous tales of the money taken
over the bar.
While they are talking, an old Jew
named Ikey Cohenstein comes along,
and Abe engages him for cashier. After
engaging Ikey they meet an old
Southern negro called Sambo, and
upon the suggestion of Ikey he is engaged
as porter. Then the three of
SSI
Preparing th
them, arm In arm, leave to take possession
of this wonderful palace which
Abe has just paid $6,000 for. (Cur
tain.)
In the second act the curtain rises
on the interior of the Diamond Palace
saloon, and the audience gets its first
shock. The saloon looks like a pigpen,
two tramps lying drunk on the
floor, and the bartender in a dirty
shirt with his sleeves rolled up, asleep
with his head on the bar.
Enter Abe, Sambo and Ikey, and the
fun commences.
One of the characters in the second
act was named Broadway Kate, and I
had an awful job to break in one of
the Tommies to act and talk like a
woman.
Another character was Alkali Ike, an
Arizona cowboy, who just before the
close of the play comes into the saloon
and wrecks it with his revolver.
We had eleven three-hour rehearsals
before I thought it advisable to present
the sketch to the public.
The whole brigade was crazy to
witness the first performance. This
performance was scheduled for Friday
night and everyone was full of anticipation
; when bang! orders came
through that the brigade would move at
two that afternoon. Cursing and
blinding was the order of things upon
the receipt of this order, but we
moved.
That night we reached the little village
of S and again went into rest
billets. We were to be there two
weeks. Our company immediately got
busy and scoured the village for a
suitable place in which to present our
production. Then we received another
shock.
A rival company was already established
in the village. They called
themselves "The Bow Bells," and
vat uu a sketch entitles, ?
What Hopes?" They were the divisional
concert party.
We hoped they all would be soon
In Blighty to give us a chance.
This company charged an admission
of a franc per head, and that night
our company went en masse to see
their performance. It really was good.
I had a sinking sensation when I
thought of running my sketch in opposition
to it.
In one of their scenes they had a
soubrette called Flossie. The soldier
that took this part was clever and
made a fine-appearing and chic girl.
We immediately fell in love with her
until two days after, while we were
on a march, we passed Flossie with
"her" sleeves rolled up and the sweat
pouring from "her" face unloading
shells from a motor lorry.
As our section passed her I yelled
Mitt "Woiin Flossie: Bliahtv?What
Hopes?" Her reply made our love die
out instantly.
"Ah, go to h?1 !M
This brought quite a laugh from the
marching column directed at me, and I
instantly made up my mind that our
sketch should immediately run in opposition
to "Blighty?What Hopes?" >
When we returned to our billet from
the march, Curley Wallace, my theatrical
partner, came running over to
me and said he had found u swanky
place in which to produce our show.
After taking off my equipment, and
followed by the rest of the section, I
went over to the building he had picked
out. . It was a monstrous barn with a
platform at one end which would make
an ideal stage. The section got right
on the job, and before night had that
place rigged out in apple-pie order. v
The next day was Sunday and after
church parade we put all our time on
a dress rehearsal, and it went fine.
I made four or five large signs announcing
that our company would open
'* J ? ? +1,/, "C"innr Oanrtro flip
up mat evtfLuug m mc mug v^v.v.e,^ ~?
Fifth theater, on the corner of Ammo
street and Sandbag terrace. General
admission was one-half franc. First
ten rows in orchestra one franc, and
boxes two francs. By this time our
printed programs had returned from
London, and I further announced that
on the night of the first performance
a program would be given free of
charge to men holding tickets costing a
franc or over.
We had an orchestra of seven men
and seven different instruments.- This
orchestra was excellent, while they
were not playing.
The performance was scheduled to
start at 6 p. m.
At 5:15 there was a mob in front of
our one entrance and it looked like a
big night. We had two boxes each accommodating
four people, and these
we immediately sold out. Then a J
brilliant idea came to Ikey Cohenstein. ,
Why not use the rafters overhead, call (
them boxes, and charge two francs for ,
a seat on them? The only difficulty
%
pusuc .
e "Chow."
was how were the men to reach these
boxes, but to Ikey this was a mere detail.
He got long ropes and tied one end
around each rafter and then tied a lot
of knots in the ropes. These ropes
would take the place of stairways.
We figured out that the rafters
" *- ? nnd CAI H
W0U1Q seal auoui mnj iucu auu ouiu
that number of tickets accordingly.
When the ticketholders for the boxes
got a glimpse of the rafters and were
informed that they had to use the rope
stairway, there was a howl of indignation,
but we had their money and told
them that if they did not like it they
could write to the management later
and their money would be refunded;
but under these conditions they would
not be allowed to witness the performance
that night.
After a little grousing they accepted
the situation with the promise that if
the show was rotten they certainly
would let us know about it during the
performance.
Everything went lovely and it was a
howling success, until Alkali Ike appeared
on the scene with his revolver
loaded with blank cartridges. Behind
the bar on a shelf was a long line of
bottles. Alkali Ike was supposed to
start on the left of this line and break
oif nf thA hnttlps hv firincr at them with
CIA Vi MVVVV^. ?^ Q
his revolver. Behind these bottles a
piece of painted canvas was supposed
to represent the back of the bar, at
each shot from Alkali's pistol a man
behind the scenes would hit one of the
bottles with his entrenching tool
handle and smash it, to give the impression
that Alkali was a good shot
Alkali Ike started in and aimed at
the right of the line of bottles instead
of the left, and the poor boob behind
the scenes started breaking the bottles
(Continued on page 7, column 2.)
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