Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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11 awjj WT T 1 fi H V - - Announcement i We beg to announce to our friends all over the # J County that on December first The M. E. Ayer \ Company took over ^ - , nri the stock of merchan- r* ' dise and business of . the F. W. Free Com- v|g?S^Pfc pany. We are prepared to continue to M&-\ ~x\^? fill the wants of our friends, and we will S ness that may. be giv . ' stock on hand of 5% ' i N Dry Goods, Clothing, Shoes, Hats, Notions,Groceries, etc. \ . ^ We handle only the best lines and v we feel sure we can satisfy you. flf Make your Christ9H iWBk mas mean something. We have here *n s^oc^ many ^nes | that will make useful )and handsome ChristImas Gifts. Don't mm spend all your money Y i ! f?r useless articles. I il l- Come in to. see us | !| //f when you are in town; jji we will be glad to see -J _ x \ M. E. AYER CO. Successors to F. W. Free Co. BAMBERG SOUTH CAROLINA _ tw#of d\ Adulterations Christmas Dinner! SAY! did yon ever get reckless and give a Christmas dinner to an assorted collection of petrified relations? Take it from me, dodging benzine buggies on the boulevard is sleepy work in comparison. Friend wife concluded it was up to us to squeeze a few uncles and aunts into our 4 by 4 dining room and throw turkey wings at them, so I coaxed ttitt nawAiio crctom tn hphflVP fllld told iXljr UCl IVUC CJ VV W V?. . w , Peaches to cut loose. She sat down and invited Uncle Peter Grant and Aunt Martha, Uncle Gregory Smith and Aunt Bessie. Then she went in, took another look at the dining room and stopped. I invited Bud Hawley, his wife Sybil, and Hep Hardy, and explained to them that we would all have to sit edge-on at the table and get our meat cut in the kitchen, so as to avoid hitting each other on the funny bone, and it was so ordered. Hep arrived early. He always does. He generally breezes in with the information that four pages of tango music are waiting for him in some hoof palace, and he has to hurry away, but on this occasion he concluded to see the fight to a finish. Then the other members of our dinner party began arriving and the mad revel was on. \ Uncle Peter brought a friend?the famous food expert, Doctor SmotherJoy. The doctor is a high card with Uncle Peter. He is one of those old ginks with beady eyes and a license to hunt for germs, and everything he eats has first to give the countersign and then go through a written examination-^ NUncle Peter believes every word thkt leaves Doc Smotherjoy's face, but for my part I think he's an old Camepibert. At any rate, no sooner were we seated at the table than Doc parted his whiskers carefully, coughed to attract attention, then picked up a little-neck clam on the end of his fork and proceeded to give it the third degree. 'The adulteration of foodstuffs these days is being carried on to an extent worse than criminal,"-the old bluff began solemnly. "Ah, even here I see traces of sally-sillic acid with boraxphosphos even here on this clam." I "Put a little tabascos on it and cut loose," suggested Bud Hawley. "Have a lemon," said Hep. "Squeeze It over the clams and make a wish." ! Uncle Peter listened with marked at| tention, while Uncle Gregory glanced | at his clams and shuddered. I The doctor ate his unconcernedly. I When the soup came on the Doc lifted a spoonful thoughtfully, then | sloshed it slowly back into his plate* | while the two unkies eyed him ner vously. "It's bullyon," whispered Uncle Peter, anxious to prove the soup's innocence. "Here," said the doctor, examining his spoonful critically, "here are traces of hydrophosphates and about ten per cent philharmonic acid." "I never eat soup," gurgled Uncle Greg, "because it's a waste of good space." The doctor said nothing more, but quietly surrounded his soup. When the fish was served the doctor danced over his plate with his fork and said. "Hydrostatic acid with here and there symptoms of manganese germs and a few sulphide microbes." Uncle Gregory pushed his plate back with a sigh that was pitiful to hear Peaches was now so nervous that her hands were doing a shaker dust, and there was a big pink spot on each cheek. The others at the table, with the j exception of nervous old Uncle Greg! ory, paid not the slightest attention to Dnpfnr Rusvface. Even Uncle Peter threw away his germ fear after the clam episode, and took a long chance with' everything from soup to nuts. Neyt we had sojne turkey with ! mashed potatoes, green peas and | asparagus tips. / tfe? When Uncle Gregory saw all this his face broke out in a smile, and we could see his appetite roll up its sleeves " tVin Hrtnfrtr hotran ocoin Ill llilO, IUC UUV.IU1 Ul-^uu holding up a turkey wing on his fork, j "in this we have a cold-storage turkey which has been treated with oxalic acid and chloride of potassium to keep it in a shivering state." J "Pardon me, doctor," exclaimed Peaches indignantly, "but it isn't a cold-storage turkey, because it was sent me as a present by some friends on Long Island only this morning." "Possibly," went on Caterpillar Charlie, "possibly my hurried diagnosis was at fault/but we can never be sure about these things, because here, on the elbow of the wing, I find traces of calisthenic acid over the membranes." "No, thank you," said Uncle Gregory, "I never eat turkey, it gives me dhe heartburn." And the poor old . guy struck such a note of hunger that i I wanted to throw that doctor out of the window. By this time several others at the table were becoming more of less impressed, and the dinner party was be ginning to assume the cheerful as- | pect of a meeting of martyrs an hour j before the arena opened. "Please pass me some mashed po- I tatoes," whispered- Uncle (iregory ; after the pangs of hunger had beaten him to the ropes. "Here we find," croaked the doctor, raising a forkful of mashed po- i tatoes, "here we find one of the most ; evil effects of food adulteration. This potato was grown in the fall of the year 1889, but it has been washed in alum water to give it the appearance of being modern, while its eyes have I been treated with belladonna to make ! I them bright and snappy." Uncle Gregory groaned, pathetically, i j and the rest of us, out of politeness, j | tried to look interested, but only sue- j i ceeded in looking seasick. When the ice cream and cake were i brought on Doctor Smotherjoy drove | his spoon down deep into the chocolate 'and vanilla mixed and said, "Here is a pitiful illustration of what dishonest tradesmen will do for money. Here we find that some of ' this ice cream was pale originally, but it was treated with aniline dye to give it this chocolate effect, and then baked in the sun to deceive the eye. On the other hand, we find this vanilla was originally dark and forbidding, but it has been treated with peroxide of hydrogen to make it more of a blonde." "Faraon me, aoctor, suappeu | Peaches, her teeth chattering with ner- j vousness, "but this ice cream was I made, in our kitchen by eur own cook, I "The Next Time You Give a Dinner Party Cut Out That Bug Doctor." with first-class cream, and we never have any but homemade ice cream, so there!" "Ah," said the doctor, "then in that case it-must be traces of thanatopsis which I see, and the evidence is conA J.?1 - * X! elusive inac a great ueai 01 uiuucim frappe has been used, nevertheless." "No, thank you," said Uncle Gregory, "I never eat ice cream because It goes to my head and makes me cold to my friends." "Take this coffee, for instance," chortled the doctor, juggling a spoonful with the left hand and four lumps of sugar with the right. "Herein you will find copper salts, iodide of chicory, a four per cent solution of gladiolus, together with about a sixteenth of a grain of mocha to the cupful." "No, thank you," gasped Uncle ! Gregory; "I never drink coffee; it ! i* . 19 ; gives me ine mccups. ! After the dinner was over, Uncle Gregory took me outside and whispered: "John, for the leve of a blissful heaven, the next time you give j a dinner party cut out that bug doe; tor, or let me wear ear muffs!" Peaches hasn't spoken a sensible word sines that bitter evening. Can you blame her? (Copyright, 1916. by the McClure Newapa- I per Syndicate.) _______ I / a$on | f?:' KLAUBER'S] "THE STORE OF QUALITY" / Offers you the the best opportunity to do your Xraas shopping. We have a FALL STOCK BOUGHT EARLY AND AT THE RIGHT PRICES 'j ===== M err no nun c?uc unwrv I PEL 113 iUW JflTL 1UU1TLI J S Below we mention some items suitable for the | t Wife or :|J3 Jgfi Husband lffiv ll Ha ' Handsome Fur Sets mil W at $7.50 to $35.00. -v ly -<gs^ Beautiful Shirt"- v ,. vvaists at ^-?u to J' A Silk Hose at 50c to . i v ST?" Crepe De Chine UnH derwear $3,50 to K \ $6.50 per piece. B ^ Beautiful Neckwear, -* B \ 25c to $1.00 each. B 4 Beautiful Silk and/ \ Crepe Kimonas, / u * $3.50 to $6.50 each. V v *\[} S:\ i ^ ATA^" 0 Beautiful Ties, 25e to \ 1 Solid Gold Cutf But- pL tons, $2.50 to $5.00 p. P\ /MIm 1 1 Beautiful Shirts, $1.00 ^Jiwf Stetson Hats, $3.50 to|^^m|T Borden Shoes at $6.50 \ Overcoats at $10.00 to r *j wr irwnw we f AN PI EASF. YftII 1 I IT Li ' lYll U TV Vf L \J nil i uuuvM w ? KLAUBER'S "The Store of Quality'' BAMBERG, S. C. " -