Historical Newspapers of South Carolina

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THE ADVENTUI MR. J Ludicrous Predicament to Get Even V Uncle Arch' In the dead, dim past Mr. Jol Jacob Joys lived and flourished. I was a farmer. He was eccentr He was scary, that is, in plain p? lance, he would run at the drop of hat and actually drop the hat hi] self. He would make every one c; him by his full name, adding Mist thereto, making his agnomen, John Jacob Joys, nothing more, not Ing less. At night he was scary, i deed, for if any one called at 1 door, it was Mrs. John Jacob Jo who answered the call. He hims< was as mute as a clam till the call was recognized. Sometimes, howev< he would venture at night as far Uncle Arcn s, a near neignuur, u he would have to muster up mu latent courage to do so. Uncle Arch was a veritable imp mischief when devilment was < foot, that is to say, having fun of rough nature at the expense of sor innocent person. For miles aroui everybody knew Uncle Arch to just such a person, and when any o: wished to engage in having fun a rough, oak-bark nature, Unc Arch was the oracle sought, a ve: table Delphian in suggesting and ( vining devilment of a high, perhaj low order. In those days of the long ago which I write, when the crops wou get foul with grass and weeds, it w advertised, that is, put up, or rath pretended to be put up for sa] Some one would make a signboar fonh- thpvonn something like the for going, and put it up in the gras field by night, on the grassiest pi of land in the field. By a decreetal order of Gener Green, presiding judge, it has be< decreed and ordered that the cr< herein shall be sold at public outc on next Monday at the court hou door, the same being a legal sale day, purchaser to pay for papers, e so for clearing the aforesaid crop grass and weeds. When the owner of such a fie saw this notice in his crop, he wou "cuss" things blue, but would proce< manfully and clear the crop fort with of grass and weeds. Such notice has saved many a grassy cr< that if left alone would have been total loss, but no one relished havii a crop thus advertised. For years Mr. John Jacob Joys h< nurtured in his heart of hearts a sa age grudge against his neighbc Bill Smith, and the aforesaid M John Jacob Joys had never before h* a chance to vent his spleen upon tl aforesaid Bill Smith. Bill Smith was an expansionist, ? that year he had increased his cr< acreage amazingly, and during tl growing season it rained steadily f a full month, and at the end of th time Bill Smith's crop was as gras as a meadow. Now, here was a chance, an oppc tune time for Mr. John Jacob Jo to even up in full, with over-due i terest, the long standing debt malice against the unfortunate B Smith. Mr. John Jacob Joys, ho' ever, was in great fear of Mr. B Smith; for Smith was boss of t' barnyard in his beat, and to comrr such an outrage alone, upon such bully, made Mr. John Jacob Jo chicken-hearted, indeed. But A John Jacob Joys saw succor and i lief in Uncle Arch. His refuge a] strength lay in this mighty maker mischief, and to him he repaired a: unbosomed himself, to this worth When Mr. John Jacob Joys h made known the mission of his vi to Uncle Arch, that old man's ey were ablaze, twinkling like unto t asteroids before wet weather. I n 1 - ~U;/?:a/v?aw?v U'Qci oorl aw tti WllOie pmsiugin.'.iuj ?> cto U51U" ??< merriment, and of course he then a there told Mr. John Jacob Joys tt he had made the happiest hit of ] life; that ho could now even up t score with Bill Smith, and cancel full the debt of long, long star ing. Uncle Arch now told Mr. Jo Jacob Joys to go back home, fix the signboard, write out the noti and come back after dark, for Urn Arch had things of import to done, which he wanted to keep fr< Mr. John Jacob Joys, and as soon Mr. John Jacob Joys was gone Un Arch called into conference his fc sons, each a second edition of th father, Uncle Arch. Now, when t father's plans were made known the sons, there was great glee in 1 family, for the plans mapped out no+^r-fssmilins was nrezTiant. v< pUCVA JL ?? r . -o ? , pregnant with fun. Each of the fc sons were sent post haste in differ* directions to carry out the plans made by "the old man." Toward night each of the fc sons of Uncle Arch returned fr< the four cardinal points of the co pass, north, east, south, and we *E OF OHN JACOB JOYS t of the Fellow Who Tried Vith His Neighbor, s Practical Joke in Each one was smiling from ear to ie ear, for each one had executed the ic. order of their father, and they knew it- ; full well that there would be no a miscarriage in the plans laid down, m- i Night came on, a dark, damp, fogall : gy night, the very night for jack-o,er j lanterns to brood over marsh and Ir. | moor, seeking some lost or hidden ,h- j treasure; the said Jack being the n-1 restless spirit of some dead planter, lis who had buried a sack of gold in ys the marshes and died before he realf: moved it to some secure place, or er; such at least is what Uncle Peter, jr. | an old time darkey tells us Jack is, f as and Uncle Peter knows, even 11 we ut | do not. But the night was dark ch and dreary?ghosts, goblins and ; ghouls were abroad, ready and willof 1 ing to scare the very life out of some on unfortunate and belated traveller, a The owls were hooting in yonder ne swamp. The weird song of the whipad porwill was being answered by its be j mate in a distant wood. The fireflies ne ! were flashing their tiny lamps in a of ; mantle of foggy darkness. :*e' At the appointed hour Mr. John r*~ j Jacob Joys was at Uncle Arch's, ! bearing upon his shoulder a huge )S>: signboard heavily placarded, the like ! of which, even Uncle Arch himself in j had never seen; and by the help of : Uncle Arch and his sons this signas board and notice would soon be er planted, near the road, at that, on '? the srassiest Dlot in Bill Smith's d> | very grassy crop, too grassy for even >e" Bill Smith to redeem. j All was ready and the march was begun to Bill Smith's field, some i three miles distant. It was a dreary al road, overlapped by long-limbed 3n giants of the forest, and across a ; bold creek, now much swollen by the r-" long and protracted rains. When se; the creek was reached a light was :S~1 struck so as to assist the party in d": crossing the footlogs, for in those of | days there were very few bridges and : pedestrians crossed the streams on ^! logs, while equestrians and vehicles Id crossed by what was known then as 5d | "a ford," which was nothing more h" j than a road through mud and water. a I The creek, which was a raging tor^ rent, was safely crossed, and soon a the party was in Bill Smith's field, 1S and the signboard bearing the notoj rious notice was put up securely in *d the grassy field near the public highv~: way. The party had actually begun ,r? j their homeward march, when, to r- their horror and dismay, Bill Smith *d shouted: "Halt, or I will shoot!" ie j "Let's run boys," spoke Uncle : Arch, and the entire party dashed C)r off, with Mr. John Jacob Joys well 5P in the lead, and gaining on his felie lows at every step, but, bang! bang! or i shoots Bill Smith just in their rear. rtl I i\ow, Mr. jonn jacou juvs was I j fleet of foot and he knew it, for he I had never been beaten in a footrace, 'r_ j and he felt sure that he could keep ys | out of reach of Bill Smith's shotgun, n" i and to this end he was making leaps of j and bounds that would put to shame HI j a frightened roe-buck, but to his K"- discomfort, just behind belched anil* ; other gun, sounding more like a can-e! non than small arms, which caused lit j Mr. John Jacob Joys to quicken even 3- i his quickstep. Now, Mr. John Jacob ys! Joys was fairly flying, but every *r- i minute or two, just behind him 'e_ | would belch at least a howitzer, and Qd down the road dashed Mr. John of | Jacob Joys writh terrific speed. When 3d he reached the swollen creek, he was iy- j sure that by plunging into it, he 3d , would leave his irate pursuer. Into sit the ford he plunged, his shoes stickos mg hard and fast in the mud but he he took no time to regain them, but left lis both, with no ceremonies at all. The tvl n.ne vllc m ? tl h tfflc kVAA 1U1U V> ao tlVOOV^Uj UUU ilig iJUAUVA *f %?M nd easier, but just behind him was a tat terrific report of a gun. Off went lis the coat of Mr. John Jacob Joys, so he also his hat, and down the road he in dashed with wonderful speed. Howid ever, behind him was constantly the | boom of a gun, the report echoing hn and reverberating in the dark and up | dismal distance. ce. Now, when Mr. John Jacob Joys cle ] reached home he entered with no be 1 ceremonies at all, but virtually fell Dm ! in, nearer dead than alive, wet, mudas dy, hatless, coatless and almost lifecle j less, panting like a windbroken polilur | tician defeated in the fourth race, eir his poor wife over him, and when ;he she saw signs of returning life and to breath, she said: :he "Mr. John Jacob Joys, what on by ; earth is the matter?" ' 4 * -11 nV?AAfir?' a TiriH i iry ( 131II D ILL 1 ILL UCCU auuuuu jllaniu i >ur ; er cannon." mt j "Where's your hat?" as "Bill Smith shot her spang off." "Where's your coat?" >ur "The cuss, shot that off too." Dm "Where're your shoes?" m- "By golly, the 'gators got 'em in sst. | thar creek." CONVICTED OF MURDER. Young Member oi Prominent Virginia >] Family Found Guilty. Bristol, Va., April 14.?Charles Seott, 23 years old, and son of-H. H. Scott, the latter proprietor of Hotel Belmont and a wealthy citizen of Ab- . ingdon, Va., is under conviction at ^ Titusville, Fla., on a charge of murder in the first degree as a result of ^ a verdict rendered by the jury tov, day. The young man, whose family is socially prominent in Virginia, is charged with the murder of Lars Jor- ^ gensen, a fish merchant near Grant, Fla., three weeks ago. The young man's father and attorneys from Ab- f ingdon have been at Titusville since the former's arrest. An attempt to ' get bail for him failed. The court ' has not as yet imposed sentence, hav- ? ing deferred this pending evidence as to the sanity of the young man. Jorgensen was murdered on a lonely country road. Scott, who lived ^ alone and was managing his father's plantation near the scene of the mur- ^ der, was arrested on circumstantial ^ evidence. Tracks near the scene of n x 1? J 1 ~^ ihfl V?r\-mr> ni Qorvtf I t tll? LLlUiUt;! 1CU IU CllO livinv vi ksv/wi,. J The peculiarity of the tracks was that s a tap was missing from one of the heels. Scott's shoe fitted this descrip- v tion. Other circumstances caused his ^ arrest. a _ I] Negro Shot by Pursuers. n d Tampa, Fla., April 14.?Trailed t( into a swamp by bloodhounds and surrounded by a posse, Sam Arlene, a a negro, who earlier in the day shot ^ a negress and killed C. M. Mcintosh, ^ his employer, broke through the first cordon of armed men and was fatally ^ shot by Sheriff John Logan, of Polk r< ~?x ? ?x + if. o f_ COUIlty, JUSt east Ul lainyu, ujjio aiternoon. The tragedy for which the negro " was hunted down occurred at the Mcintosh still near Bowling Green. The negro and the negress, employed on the place, quarreled and Arlene shot her, uflicting a slight wound. Mcintosh, owner of the still, was called by some of the employes, and when he arrived at the cabin, where the negress was shot, Arlene resented his ~ remarks about "quarrelsome ne- ? groes" and shot him dead. Bloodhounds were sent from Bartow', 21 miles distant, but when Sheriff Logan arrived with the dogs the trail was five hours old. The dogs C ran true, landing at a swamp only a few miles from the scene of the ^ shooting. Here the negro attempted to to break through the posse and was ^ shot by Sheriff Logan. The negro ~ was taken to the Polk county jail at Bartow and is dying. Less Fertilizer Sold. Reports on file in the office of the I State treasurer show that the farm- ; ers of the State have used about 120,- ' 000 less tons of fertilizer this year ? than last. There is a tax of 25 cents I a ton on all fertilizer sold and the total amount to be received from the ft tax this year is $195,634.72. The I total amount received to the same | date last year was ?228,903.36. The total amount received from the tax last year was ?255,082.49. The fund goes to Clemson college. Our Philippine Trade Doubles. Trade between the United States and the Philippine Islands more than doubled in the brief period since the enactment of the existing tariff law which admits Philippine products, except rice, free of duty into the United States and domestic products free of duty into the Philippines. Imports into the United States from the Philippine Islands in 1908, the last year prior to the enactment of the law in question, were ?9,243,244 in value and in 1911 ?20,212,917, while domestic exports to those islands were in 1908 ?9,904,097 and [ in 1911 ?20,896,029, both imports and exports having thus more than doubled in value in the period be- ^ tween 1908 and 1911. This increase in trade occurred in practically all classes of merchandise, but especially in sugar, cigars t and cocoanut meat on the import r side and in nearly all classes of man- jjj ufactures and foodstuffs on the ex- \ port side.?Exporters' Review. S t "What! hat gone, shoes gone, and coat gone, too!" J "Yes, Mollie, and dang if Mr. John ] Jacob Joys haint mighty nigh gone t too!" 1 To bring this to an end, when * Uncle Arch got an inkling into the ? plan of Mr. John Jacob Joys to ad- c vertise the crop of Bill Smith, he had 1 r his sons order out the militia of the section, and had them occupy posi- j tions along the road leading to and ] from the Smith farm, and gave orders that when Mr. John Jacob Joys na?t tn firp a blank charee i " J upon him, so as to make it appear c that Bill Smith was behind him. The 1 scheme worked just as Uncle Arch had planned it, and for years in that j section that escapade formed a new epoch there, for everybody dated < things from the night of the won- J derful flight of Mr. John Jacob Joys. A. W. BRABHAM. f TWO KILLED IX CHURCH. [any Others Injured when Floor of Incomplete Structure Falls. Harrington Park, X. J., April 14. -Two persons were killed and more ban a score injured, several seriousi, when the collapse of the floor of ne Church of Our Lady of Victory recipitated nearly 300 persons into he basement late to-day. The church as only partly completed and the ssemblage there to-day was in conection with ceremonies of laying tie corner-stone. Collapse of the floor came while n address was being delivered by 'ather Delanty, pastor of the church. Ten women and children were aught in the avalanche and many ere badly crushed. HOW WEAK WOMEN flay Be Made Strong at Small Expense and No Risk There are hundreds of women in his vicinity, weak, thin, run-down, ired out and nervous. Such women eed Vinol just as much as did Mrs. ane Pepper, of 2307 Howard street, Ian Francisco, Cal., who says: "I have used Vinol for some time rith particularly gratifying results. I ras run down, weak and debilitated, nd my appetite was gone. After takag several bottles of Vinol I found ly condition greatly improved, and o not hesitate to recommend Vinol a anyone similarly affected." Vinol is not a secret nostrum, but delicious cod liver and Iron tonic dthout oil, which will create an apetite, tone up the digestive organs, lake pure blood and create strength. Try a bottle of Vinol with the unerstanding that your money will be ^turned if it does not help you. Peoples Drug Co., Bamberg, S. C. G. MOYE DICKINSON INSURANCE AGENT WILL WRITE ANYTHING Fire, Tornado, Accident, Liability, Casualty, in the strongest and most re- { liable companies. 'Phone No. 10-B. Bamberg, S. C. . G. MAYFTELD. W. E. FREE. MAYFl'ELD & FREE ATTORNEYS AT LAW BAMBERG, S. C. Practice in all the Courts, both tate and Federal. Corporation ractice and the winding up of esites a specialty. Business entrustrusted to us will be promptly atended to. NOTICErrO THE PUBLIC When in need of Farming Implements such as Com Drills, Stalk M . ?V Utters, Discnar* rows, Grain Bind= ers, Mowers and Rakes, Gasoline Engines, J. I. Case Road Machinery, ?and aj Genera! Repair Shop see D. J. DELK C BAMBERG, S. C. BROUGHT TO LIGHT. iamberg People Receive the Full Benefit. There have been many cases like he following in Bamberg. Everyone elates the experience of people we mow. These plain, straightforward tatements will do much toward reieving the suffering of thousands. >uch testimony will be read with' inerest by many people. Mrs. J. Q. Adams, Main St., Bamjerg, S. C., says: "Nothing has ;ver given me as much relief as Doan's Kidney Pills which I procurJ ? ? 1 D^Anl no }Q several vears agu at wc j. &upik>j Drug Co. Kidney trouble made me niserable for several years and there vas a steady, dull ache across the small of my back. The kidney secretions bothered me and sometimes . felt dizzy and unsteady on my feet. The contents of two or three boxes )f Doan's Kidney Pills restored me ;o good health." (Statement given Vlarch 12, 1908.) A Second Endorsement. Mrs. Adams was interviewed on Fanuary 26, 1911 and she said: "I lave taken Doan's Kidney Pills occasionally since I endorsed them and ;hey have always helped me. I still lvalue this remedy highly and you nay continue to use my former eniorsement of it." For sale by all dealers. Price 50 cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, Mew York, sole agents for the United States. Remember the name?Doan'i? ind take no other. ? ^p^JWP^WIPTyPTyVTWWTVPTVPTWPT^ TJTTJi TK JTTJT TJT TJiTJ^ ?|I^ TJTTJTtJ' J**J**J* ( I# Ji > |5 ^ | Reduced Rates Confederate Reunion ? 9 Macon, Ga., May 7th-9th s; l* % ! J? | g Account above occasion the Atlantic Coast :J ? !f: Line, The Standard Railroad of the South, offers :? ? special reduced round trip rates from all stations: jj| Selling Dates ^ti, 6th, 7th, and 8th, 1912* fjis 5 1/CUCo ^ _ i 3l J? RIIVAL LIMIT 10 rectULL UJLiglllctl Slftl 1/lllg puillb 7*7 $ not later than midnight of May 15th, 1912, unless j|j 1 js deposited for extension by original purchaser, with ?: Jos. Richardson, Special Agent, No. 414 Fourth jf? it St., Macon, Ga., not later than May 15th, and upon jp Sjj payment of fee of 50 cents, limit may be extended <$ ( S to June 5th, 1912. 4? 4? For rates, schedules, reservations, etc., call on Si ' jj: local Ticket Agent, or address jp I T.C.WHITE I J $ General Passenger Agent, Wilmington, N. C. ft aZA WW' ? TJ? T57 fcTi oT##T##T##T<>frT^#T<frT##T##T# i! # ^ki i'r^PTwwTWVTwWTywTwwTwPT^wTwwTwPTwPT^wTy?T^^Tj?Tj^T^?T^?TWWJWWTWVJWPTywjWWJ*IP' ^ r 7 * n j Attention: Farmers J of South Carolina I This is the year for you to return to your "first love," ? the Old Reliable "Star Brand" Wilcox & Gibbs Guano C?'? MnntMiilafAi] ClIOflA OTirl ncp it on VOllT CfODS eX? V/U 9 mauipuiafc^u nauimavj uhu uu? j ?? r clusively. It has given satisfaction wherever used for over 45 years, and is acknowledged by those who use it to be the best all-round Cotton and Corn Fertilizer in * -. the world. It gives you the Best Results for the Least 4 Money. It is Cheap in price, High Grade in Analysis, made of the Best Materials, and has a record of 45 years , . J which proves its Superior Value as a Crop Producer. For Economy and Best Results this is The Fertilizer for you to use. Ask your Merchant for it and insist on having it. We sell all other grades of Fertilizers. If your ;1 Merchant does not handle our goods, write us direct The Macmurphy Company * Successors to The Wilcox & Gibbs Guano Co. 1 Charleston, S. C. ? ^=o=?o=o=^ I 1 SPECIAL | FREE OFFER ? s OFFER NO. 1. - J One pair of Eyeglasses, 14K. Gold Filled for reading and far sight. Will mail you Home Eye- i 1 tester. Have fit thousands by this system. When 1 you return Tester, glasses will be mailed to you Free. Are worth from $2.00 to $5.00. OFFER NO. 2. . T J Six Silver Teaspoons, made by Wallace | D Bros."i Largest silverware makers in United i States. You get Six Free. OFFER NO. 3. ' j > - /-* 1 r r> U Large Wall Chart and Map. Crives Map or State, Map of U. S. and World, three sheets, Ani- M ? ^ mal Chart and Veterinary, " Gives Latest Census.'? Value alone $1.50, Mailed Free. OFFER NO. 4. Cotton Grader and Pen Picture of Standard Cotton Grades. If you grow, buy or sell cotton. Should be had by every farmer. Mailed Free. M < 1 One of the above offers FREE, without any 1 extra cost, -with one year's subscription to Tri- 1 Weekly Constitution, the South's leading News- j paper. This is one of the greatest offers ever % made through any paper. You get the news three i times each week. If you are already a subscriber, 1 Dsend one dollar now and have vour paper extend H UFill in the Coupon and Mail To-day. | Mr. Sam Lovenbein, North and South Carolina J Agent Tri-Weekly Constitution, Box 351, Spartanburg, S. C. : Gentlemen: Please find enclosed $1.00. Send me TriWeekly Constitution One year and FREE OFFER ^ (Write Number.) || * JName ? Postoffice I R F. D I *4 State M ioaooaoi?jy