KEEP EM ROLLING! / 1
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PLAN
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Nobody's Business
Written for The Chronicle by Qee
McOee, Copyright, 1928.
HOW TO HELP WIN THE WAR
You can t help Uncle Sam win the
war by wearing old clothes until they
become unweurahle, and save money
thereby to put In your pockets; you
have ?ot to Invest your savings In
Defense Securities If you Intend to
render service by saving.
You are not helping yourself If you
are trying to accumulate money, during
the war. thus using the war for
your own personal benefit. Unless
we win the war. what you make and
what you save will be worth exactly
nothing.
If by our acts and our selfishness
wo fall to provide each and every
soldier that is lighting for us the
things he needs and must have, wo
are not only an enemy against our
country but a servant of Hitler.
If a politician stands in the way of
the leaders of our country in connection
with produi ing machines and
materials for olTen.se and defense, it j
Is better for us that a millstone he
tied about bis uock to hold him where j
be belongs
{
If any of our members of the i on i
Kress are so little and so narrow i.nd j
so prejudiced as to put "party" above
war preparation and common sense.;
thev should ho traded In at a dlmo |
store for pin-heads on an even-steven
basis.
If our \ oters hack homo can't forget
that they are republicans or democrats
during the present emergency,
they should crawl in a hole and stay
there from now on. It doesn't matter
who you elect to office if you
elect the best man that can be induced
to run.
Wouldn't we Americans be in a
mess (and a funny looking mess at
that! to have goose-stepping Hitler-1
i'' s dictating what we shall do. where,
we shall work, what we should be'
paid, and what we must not say*
Well, to avoid a hell 011 earth, wo
inu?t win this war?the sooner, the
better.
THE MESS WE ARE IN
We don't know which end is up.
Our public servants (?) are no| all
economists. We have bureaus and
commissions that are not worth the
paper they write on. Some departments
of the state are wasting money
like a drunk man would, if he had his
pockets full: Just throwing it to the
four winds of the earth. If bond
money holds out, we will soon build
a road to the moon, that is?if our
leaders' say one is needed.
Most politicians are trying to please
the majority back home. The majority
pays the minority of taxes. No
parent now has the pleasure of domg
anything much or contributing anything
toward the education of his offspring.
All such costs are appropriated
by our legislatures. We have a
war on our hnnds and it is not yet
won. but we hope to win It. We don't
act like the war concerns us. Most
states, counties and cities are paying
enough interest every year on
bonds and debts to run them.
Folks, you know we have got to
pay our debts and we have got to pay
interest on them while they are run*
11 i11 g and many of them run from
two to fifty years. Hut we don't act
like it's going to be any burden. We
just keep on spending . . . 'cause we
can raise taxes when we want to. If
high taxes bust us. let us bust: tho
people we owe don't care If we bust.
About half of our political subdivisions
and nearly all of our departments
of state could be run on twothirds
of what it yj costing each one
of them to function today.
Now is the time for us to cut out
the frill# and fandangoes that have
us hog-tied to a custom. This refers
to schools, colleges, highway building.
and our government generally.
Taxes are not going to pour Into the
spenders coffers so fast and so freely
from now on. hut the folks who create
our public debts don't feel that-a-way.
We are beaded for tight times: this
ne tns tight times for our local anil
state governments, also for each and
every individual, as well as our federal
government. It's a question as
to whether or not we can survive tho
next six years financially. It might
not be a disgrace for towns and cl-j
ties and states to go into bankruptcy ;
before this thing is over; it will pos-'
slbly he too common to be a disgrace.'
Hut we can avoid all of this if we j
will start now to pay on our debts '
the money wo are wasting
It's Great
Helena. Mont.?Rancher M I.., Miles i
seemed disappointed when told ho
hadn't earned enough last year to
require payment of federal lncomo
tax.
Ho took his blank to the cashier
and handed over a $20 bill anyVay.
'it's great to lire In America,"
MHe? explained.
WOMEN!
I
nrijinppvijvnv I
o
speak for
1 i
My Pet Peeve!
By Robert Bonckloy
(From Dtctmbot Cosmopolitan Mngnxint)
BEING a mild-mannered man,
1 am not peeved more than
once every two minutes during the
day, but, year in and year out, 1
think my blood pressure rises prettiest
to the behavior of the highpowered
businessman who says to
his secretary. "Get me Mr. Benchley
on the phone!" and then goes and
hides in the broom closet.
His secretary gets my secretary :
and says, "Mr. Gavin Gormley calling
Mr. Benchley." And my secretary
says to me, "Mr. Gavin Gormley
on the phone!" That's where the first
flaw shows up in the routine. Mr.
Robert Benchley
Savin Gormley is not on the phone.
I take over and say, as I was
; taught to say by my French governess,
"Alio?" And Mr. Gormley's
secretary says, "Just a minute, Mr.
Benchley, Mr. Gormley wants to
speak to you." My reply to that is,
I **So I have just been informed." Then
begins the hunt for Mr. Gormley,
with occasional crumbs of hope
thrown me by his secretary, like
"Just a minute, please!" or "Mr.
Gormley is busy on another wire
now. Will you hold on, please?" At
j this point, when I am in form, I
j hang up.
If, however, I am in a sissy mood,
I hang on like a dope. I hum hymns,
| or hymn hums, and draw little airplanes
on the blotter, waiting for
Mr. Gormley to finish on the other
! wire. Don't forget it was Mr. Gormley
who called me.)
And then comes the crowning insult.
Mr. Gormley is finally put on
t the line with me and says, in a very
brusque voice, "Hello, who's this?"
as if I were trespassing on his time.
Then, sissy or no sissy, I pull my
telephone cord out of the wall so
hard that it pulls Mr. Gormley's receiver
right out of his hand, even
if he is blocks away, and I hope it
' smashes his inkwell and knocks his
pnper cutter so that it flies up and
gives him a nasty cut right under
the eye. If it doesn't, I'll go over and
do it myself.
Formerly relying mainly on Europoan
sourcea, the United States now
produces ample oitrio acid for It*
own use with a surplus for oxport
DortBawflfciiniihttJl
(If be'* "dend tired" when be come* from I
work tnd hate* going piac**. Mental I
or phy*ic*l over exertion' occur* M
| easily if appetite foe r?ec?**ary body- I
building food* i* absent. VINOL with
Vitamin B1 and Iron help* promote 1
appetite. Druigirt* Have VINOL. I
DcKALB PHARMACY
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