The Camden chronicle. (Camden, S.C.) 1888-1981, April 06, 1934, Page PAGE TWO, Image 2
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Nobody's Business
Written for The Chronicle by Gee
McGoc, Copyright, 15)28.
BROWSING AROt'ND WITH TIIB
WM'KR TBN
..I was invited out thr other evening.
Nothing but swell-company was eligible.
1 am still trying to figger out
how me and my wife got on the preferred
list, but we were there OK,
and on time. She is very fond of
high society.
..The folks who gave the dinner.,
that's what, they called it, and the
clock had already .struck 8 p. m.,
when we sut down.... were and still
are the big shots of the city in which
this occasion happened to occasioned.
They are not connected with no bank
or nothing like that.
..I never saw so much dog put on
in all my life as was "on stage" that
night. Dresses were ripped far below
the waLst-line in the back and almost
as dangerous in the front. Jim
Awfingers and high hats were plentiful.
I felt out of place as I didn't
have on anything but regular clothes.
. .The frisky little intellectual who
sat next to me was as prissy and
as kittenish a.s jennie wren. Sh?
evidently wanted to impress me with
her grey matter.... which was supposed
to contain knowledge of the
distant past, ancient history, noted
musicians, marvelous writers and
play-rights, and so forth. She was
at least 45 and married, but was
playing 2-1 and single.
..She said many things, but I recall
only a few of them, as follows: "Oh,
Mr. Gee?arn't you just wild about
Shaks Speer?" I told her that I had
never met "Shaks," but knew Tom
and Bill Speer very well indeed. She
talkod so much about Hamlet, I decided
that I'd like to meet him, but
found out later from her that he was
dead.
..She asked me how I liked Voltaire
and ITeet-hoven. I explained to her
that 1 had never met Vol or Beet
either, and couldn't say that I liked
them at all. She kept on raving about
\ c.> > Pucius and Cleo Patra
while I was drinking my tomato juice
and rubbing the grapefruit hack-fire
out of my eyes. She didn't have on
over 14 ounces of cloth.ng, counting
everything she might of had on that
she might not have had on. She
knew everything about everybody that
I had never heard of, and didn't know
anything about anything at all, so far
as 1 could ascertain.
I never want to hear so much
"high" conversation again The 2
.sor.gs the young girl and the young
man ?ur.g sounded like cross betwixt
a calf bellowing and a pig squealing.
The lady who pecked on the piano for
45 minutes never did get in a mile
of a tur.e I had a very good time
the last two hours of the evening.
I got the o\j mar. cornered off in the
breakfast r<jr rr., and he and 1 discussed
b.rd dogs, the gold standard,
inch cotton, processing tax on wheat
and rotten pontics. He sat where he
could spit his tobacco juice out of the
window. Rut it was a great party,
so the newspaper said in S colonani
the next day.
MIKE WANTS TO BECOME A
JAILER
flat rock, s. C., apull 4, 1934.
seeker-terry of war,
Washington, d. C.
deer sir:
i seat myself to rite you a few
lines about crime arisoforth what the
u. s. govvernment needs is a national
jail for crimminals and me, mr. mike
Clark, rfd, as jailer, and i hereby
make my applercation for the job of
handling the rough ones.
i garrantee that noboddy can't poke
a corn cob or a wooden gun in my
ribs and walk out of jail, and onner
count of my reppertation, noboddy
can't poke no monney in my pockets
and put me to sleep while he passes
by the gards who mought of bt-nn
i bribed by a prisoner or some other
frien<l of law enforcement, and get
a-loose from the law.
if you have no jail on hands that
will hold bail mens, plese rite or foam
; me at once, and i will figger with
j the flat rock citty counsel and get
I permish to keep all kidnapers and
bank robbers and murderers in our
jail, and you wont have to hire noboddy
but me to keep them till coart
meets and sets them free.
I have had a right smart of experients
with crime. i ketched a
feller in my chicken roost one night
and i said to him was as followers:
"get out of here, drap them 4 roosters
and 2 hens, and go to jail." he
dropped his pray, went and woke up
the jailer at the county-seat at midnight
and made him let him in for
j safe-keeping, him and a feller what
I stole 50,000$ was convicted the following
week, and both of them went
to the chamgang for 30 days apcacc.
i am a crack-shot with a pistol.
, when i hunt squirrels, l newer shoot?
i nothing out of same but their eyes.
1 : i have killed as many as 45 pat: ridges
in one day with my pistol, and they
I did not have a bullet scratch on them
1 anywhere; i just shot their heads otT
j right at the front of their r.ake. a
gunman or robber has no more chance
to shoot befoar l do than a republican
has of being eleckted president 3 yr.
hence.
if you want yore prisoners hell in
jail, hire me. i won't let them out
for love or monney. i aint skeered
of no liwing man, but admit i listen
to my wife. rite or foam when to
report at yore ofTis. i will work for
36$ per month and my bored, kindly
send me 1 month's pay in advance to
get reddy to work for you with,
yores trulie,
mike Clark, rfd.
u. s. ofTiser.
Armv Mail Pilot
%
Crashed In Iowa
Dewjtt, Iowa, March 31.?Blinding
rainund a perilously low reiliny svnt
Lieut. Thomas A. Wood, 27, army,
mail flier, hurtling1 to death on a furm
near here, authorities said today.
He was the 12th army flier to die,
.since the fighting airmen received the
order to'carry the mails.
Lieut. Wood, flying an attack plane
loaded with 500 pounds of mail from
Chicago, crashed last night in the
field of William Mommsen, farmer.
So terrific was the impact that the
flier, whose home station was San
Antonio, Texas., was crushed between
his motor and the 23 pouches of mail
he carrier!.
Fire Destroys (Jinnery .
On last Thursday night near midnight
the gin house of R. L. Sowell
on South Hart Street, beyond the
shop* and grist mill of J. H. Watson,
was totally destroyed by fire, which
was fanned by a stiff breeze, togeth-1
er with the entire ginning outfit it
contained. The outfit when new cost
around ten or twelve thousand dollars,
on which there wa.s only four
thousand dollars of insurance. The
origin of the firy is unknown, this
being the out of season time no activities
were being carried on in the
building. Umbers were scattered far
and wide by the fierce wind and it
was with great difficulty that the fire !
was kept from spreading even three I
blocks away to the west side of thel
j Southern Railway tracks.?Kershaw
Kra.
Methodist Men's Bible Class
"Born in Jerusalem; but on the
way to Jericho," will be the theme of
the address next Sunday morning at I
10 o'clock when the Lyttleton Street
Methodist Sunday school assembler.
.The men continue to be interested in
these great messages by Dr. Wimberly.
The class spirit cpntinues and
the attendance continues. Let us
now rally all the boys for nyxt Sunday.
You will be well paid for being
there.?Jack Moore, Secretary.
Leonard Michael, 14, is the champion
speller of Colorado schools. In
a spelling contest, using 150 tonsil
twisting words, he registered 91 per
cent, missing only "Cocuyo, dispensable
and halcyon."
Lumber Lode (Jives
Impetus to Forestry j
?
Approval by President Roosevelt of j
seven*,! amendments to the Lumber j
Code promises to give the practice of I
forestry in the United States it*!
greatest impetus since the National J
Forests weye placed under intensive j
administration more than a quarter of j
a century ago, says the United States j
Forest Service. *
The amendments provide for the (
continuous production of timber on all
privately pwned forest lands through- ,
out the country. They were formu
lated by the lumbermen in cooperation
with public agencies interested
in forest conservation, and carry the
endorsement of the Lumber Code Authority
and the N. R. A.
The Code as now supplemented sets
up general standards of forest prac- j
tice to be followed by all timber
operators under its jurisdiction, and
requires divisions of the Code Authority
to prepare detailed and specific
rules applicable to local forest
conditions but conformable to the fcs!
tablished broad standards. These
! rules must bp submitted to the Code :
| Authority for examination and * approval,
after which the local Code J
* agencies are to put them in effect i
f and enforce them. The Forest Ser- !
[vice and other interested public j
i agencies are to have representation j
ion the local governing boards.
The program will go into effect j
June 1 and the forestry measures required
will be mandatory on all timber
operators subject to the jurisdiction
of the various divisions of the
Lumber Code.
Strong safeguards against fire are
thrown about the forests. The individual
operator is to be responsible
for fire protection during logging.
Me must dispose of slash, enforce
rules concerning smoking in the
woods, provide spark arresters on locomotives
and logging engines, suspend
operations in dangerously dry
weather and have his crews and
equipment on immediate call for fire
fighting. ? By Charles W. Nuite,
County Forester.
Honor Roll Baron DeKalb School
Grade 1.?David Roberts, Marion
Young, Marguerite Hilton, Mary Jane
Phillips, Evelyn Truesdale, Corrie
Hayes, Cornelia Self, Dan Banks, Earl
Young.
Grade 2. ? John Boone, Bennie
Spears, Tommy Stover, Nancy Lee
Owens, Dotty Broome, Jewel Hornsby,
Carolyn Owens, Doris Rabon.
Grade 3. ? Eugene Faulkenberry,
May Rush, Sam Truesdale, Frank
Workman, Ada Knight, Viola Horton,
Margaret McDonald, Geneva Ray,
Joe Young.
Grade 4.?Marie Holland, Willie
May Jordan, Minnie Belle Robison,
W. P. Davis, Charlie Frost, Lewis
Hornsby.
Grade 5.?J. B. Brasington, George
Jordan, Hoyt Owens, Nina Young,
Cleo Smyrl.
Grade 6.?Melita Baker, Emmie
Connell, Louise McManus, Dorothy
Workman, Ruby Young.
Grade 7.?Ruth McDonald.
Grade 8.?Ann Clarkson, Willie
Belle McDonald.
Grade 9.?Mendel Gladden, Willie
Mae Horton.
He Bit His
A young woman, anxious to do
work during the war decided to cheer
the wounded soldiers in the hospitals.
"How many Germans did you conquer?"
she asked the first man she
came to.
"Five," he replied.
"And how did you do it?" she
asked.
"With my right hand," he answered.
"You are a hero!" she_cried, "and
I am going to kiss that hand five
times!"
The rest of the ward had been listening
with interest, and at the next
cot was an Irishman who instantly
answered her query. "Twenty-foive."
he replied.
The lady looked somewhat nor.- '
plussed, but nevertheless a.ske !.
How""
"I bit thim." he said.
George Robbir.s. husband, and
Jame> Sanders, brother, are held ;r.
jail at Rockingham, N. C., for grar.J
(jury investigation in connection wi'h
'the recent slaying of Mrs. Gcorg*
! Robbir.s. The men claimed they returned
home late in the right ar.O
'found the woman dead in the var i '
Robbins and Sanders had been dr.r.k
ing heavily that right, ard tra ;
about the body of the woman were
the tracks of Robbins.
Dr. Km! Alt man. chief medical examiner
of the public school system of
New York, charged that more than
i 1.500 of the 30,000 teachers of the ,ty
j are sufferers from mental or omotionjal
disorders. "Absurd," retorted Abraham
lyoftkowitz, legislative representative
of the teachers union
j "Every case of inefficiency or unsatisfactory
service is brought to the
| attention of the board of superinj
tendenLs and the proper action is
j taken," declared Harold C. Campbell,
] superintendent of schools.
Moise Is Elected
By Jewish Youth
Formation of a permanent organization
of officers and enrollment of
151 members was effected here Sunday
by the Jewish young people of
South Carolina, in the first conference
of its kind ever held in the state.
Officers named were: President,
Marion Moise, of Sumter; vice-president,
Fannie Alport, Sumter; secretary-treasurer,
Carolyn Heyman,
Camden.
One hundred and thirty delegates
from fourteen points outside Sumter
attended, with Charleston sending
sixty.
The conference endorsed the Tydings
resolution, senate resolution
154, uring an expression or horror ,
from the United States at the persecution
of minority groups in Germany,
including the Jews.
George D. Levy, president of congregation
Sinai, welcomed the visitors,
and Abel Banov, of Charleston,
responded.
Sessions were held in Temple Sinai,
with .Rabbi Samuel R. Shillman, of
Sumter, and Rabbi Jacob S. Raisin,
Charleston, presiding.
On the program were papers as
follows: "What Can Youth Do For
the Synagogue?" LeRoy Want, Charleston;
"The Challenge of Hitlerism
to Jewish Youth," Carolyn Heyman,
Camden; "Need for Young Peoples'
Activities in South Carolina," Julian
H. Eichel, Camden.
A prominent visitor here for the
conference was Maurice Jacobs, the
Philadelphia executive secretary of
the Phi Epsilon Pi fraternity.
A luncheon was held in the Barnett
Memorial annex, served by the
sisterhood after the morning session
and a reception was tendered the
visitors by the sisterhood and the
brotherhood.,of Temple Sinai following
the conference.? Sumtej- Herald.
April Farm Calendar
Clemson College, April 2.?Closespace
the cotton plants, says R. W.
Hamilton, extension agronomist,
whose April farm reminders are limited
to the importance of a good
stand of cotton. About 20,000 plants
per acre are necessary, he says, to
obtain maximum results., from land,
labor, and fertilizer. To obtain a
good stand," Mr. Hamilton suggests
further: Prepare a finely pulverized
seedbed; mix fertilizer thoroughly
with the soil; plant 1.5 to 2 bushels
of good seed; cover seed well at uniform
depth; pray for good weather.
Horticulture?-Bed sweet potatoes
If not already bedded. Sow tomato
seed for midseason and late crops.
Sow asparagus seed if not already
sown for plants next season. Plant
tender vegetables. Transplant tomatoes,
pepper, etc., in coldframe and
gradually harden for setting later.
Fertilize fruit trees and start cultivation.
Agricultural Engineering.?Recondition
fertilizer distributors and
planters to insure uniform distribu
tion of fertilizer and seed. Two-1
horse cultivators can be equipped and
adjusted to open a furrow, distribute
fertilizer and bed at one operation.
Rearrange fields and combine small
patches for longer rows and more efficient
use of machinery.
Insects and Diseases.?Put spray
equipment in good working order and
have materials in readiness for summer
sprays on apples and peaches.
Remove and burn rough bark and
codling moth bands from apple trees
and secure new bands for use in May.
Disinfect seed of watermelons and
cucumbers with a one to 1,000 solution
of corrosive sublimate to control
anthracnose. In setting out plants i
discard any that are affected by disease
or root knot. Spray with Bordeaux
mixture or lime sulphur to
control fungus disease. Plant wiltresistant
cotton where loss from this j
disease has occurred.
To Hold Sinking Convention
The Lee County Singing Contention
will meet with Mizpeh Baptist
church (the place of its birth) in its
one hundredth session on Sunday, 4
April 8th, at 10:46 a. m.; recess for
lunch 1 p. m.; reconvene 2 p. m. and
close about 6 p. m. We wili have j
with us "The Happy Four" quartette
radio singers from Greenville, S. C.J
the Arnold quartette from Hamlet, i
N. C.; and the Rev. A. H. Arnold and
family of Sumter, besides our regn-'rj
lar choirs and singers. From Camden
and vicinity take route No. 34 to Joyner'B
store and turn to the right
A warm welcome to all, especially
choirs and singers. All attending th? , j
morning exercises will bring lunch.?
L. A. Moore, President.
Three generations of one family in
one home are victims of measles at J
Burlington, N. C.
H Persistent
[COUGHnj
^^^[Witl^Creosot^
DeKalb Pharmacy
Telephone 95
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City Laundry and Camden Dry deanery I
Oldest, Largest and Best. I
Telephone 17 lilil'lill'Hil'lVI I
Down with "//. C. ." 11
_ '1
The Fashion Shop, Inc. I
Prices must go up, of course, for sound recovery. Legitimate costs are higher. J
But the real danger?as the Administration has repeatedly warned?lies in prices I
you can't afford. For prices you can't afford don't move goods. And goods must I I
keep moving in order to make recovery a fact. Low Cash Prices, within your- h
reach, keep your living standards up by jamming the brakes on'the High Cost of h
Living! i ;
These 3 Star Specials I I
CHASE H. C. L. CLEAR OUT OF THE PICTURE |jj
So. you're wishing for something new? Something pretty and gay, Something I
that will say to family and friends, "Things are looking up; see what I've done to I
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IT'S EASY TO DRESS UP AT THESE SPECIAL PRICES: jj
A Special selection of Suits and Dresses for Friday and Saturday sell- 4C/4 Q7 I
ing?See window display ? [J
IT'S EASY TO DRESS UP AT THESE SPECIAL PRICES: I .1
Children's Dresses?Kate Greenway Frocks, sizes 4 to 14. Guaranteed
washable, also Misses Sweaters, sizes 33 to 40 O / C/
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String Sweater Sets, looks handmade. Colors white, maize, blue and 4.7 I
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The Fashion Shop, Inc. 41
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C o r r*r Broad and DelC*Ib "ALWAYS BUSY" |9
i i sa