The Camden chronicle. (Camden, S.C.) 1888-1981, January 16, 1914, Image 2
THE MOUfcKM MMI).
v It wuu go tting ?*t uight wtiAn Ui?t
?wrviuii girl rotwrnod twom tlws wtuipn
with varlouM doiuoatio purchase*. Ah
nho oxjilalnod tlm UgflMOtlOM io hor
mltftK'HH Mti?- crlod (Hti mtddotily
'"fhoro! If I bavwn't forgpiUvi tho
'a/n mi' ?ikkh for breakfast."
"Tlmt'H u pity," obaorvod I ho iiiIb
trotM, hut ndd?'d, with kindly pbllono
l>hy: "Novur mind, rllw? whops will all
bo Mlnit now VV? idiiUl l.u v?? to ijian
ago' in (hit morning with brood and
butter mid marmalade."
Th?> girl Htarod.
"And what Khali I liavo?' oho In*
qulri<),
"W'-tll, Kill II, / HU|?l>OHO you'll JlttVQ
th?> rti?ru?> an wn do," ropllod th? iiiIb
tr<
"Vi'h, Mra. X," roflfpondnrl Kllon, with
nbin?' noyorlty, "but lot ino toll you I
can't do my worlv upb#H I'm proporly
fo <J "? Mam;hoHlor (Juardian
Tfayedi?i? Told In Headlines.
"Motorcyolo for Halo at Half J'rloo;
(Jgod Only Oiico."
"Mo ('at<'lioH IU?r ttinoklog a OlKa
root; l';nKUK<>n><tnt Ik-oknci Off."
"F'Iku r?H l/p Ilia Insurance Prowl*
tinifj; Has I'ald Out Moro Than Face
of 1 1 Ik Ppllflf."
"MiiIMh Kl rwt hlro Iu Old Mansion
Hln?-o I so l IhtHlroyB n Hundred Fain- ?
illes of Chimtioy Hwallowa."
"Trl?*a to (hiro Warl by Mall; It
Turna Into a Won."
HIS 8CHEME.
Tho Reformer Money i? tho causa
of a groat deal of oorruptlou.
Tho Politician ? Yes; it's a pity wr>
cuiu .ill be millionaires and be be
yond the r<??cli of temptation.
Eve's Clothes.
\V1n?n Is v<* held f ? ? ?- 1 i i In I'aradlso,
Hln- foiiml 1 1 1 ? m *i 1 plcii.^urc In It,
Kur when she did lior Monday
f I only look a minute.
The Modern Wooer.
"neorge, yoil must go . right away
and nsk papa for my hand."
"Th.ii's :tll right. little one I
asl.nl liitn lit : *
" \ \ 1 ? : j ' Yon didn't. wait to auk
mi'! '
"N'ixy. Ma!)"! I'm a husy littlo
m.'-.'i ,irlie. ,i iid I waste no time on
^ eli'atK i ,-t."
Dress.
Corneous Indi viilual (visitor at sea
side, running' across resident friend) ?
Thank-# i<>r your note, old chap, I'll
he. del ichttul to dine with you tonight.
Friend-.? That's good! By the way.
I think I said. Come iia you arc; hut
do you mind dressing? We're such
plain, simple people. ? Punch (Lon
don).
Domestic Amenities.
."1 was a fool ever to marry you!"
sobhed Mrs. Winks.
x "Now, my dear," said Winka nobly,
*JLI eauuot permit /you to take tho
la'Tnv - t or t hat . It was I who was the
fool for ever asking you. The mis
take a as not yours, but mine." ? Harp
er's Weekly.
HARD ON HIM.
"Wo want yuu ;*? makii a apoerh
at i ho banquet, .hi-t talk a lot of
ucn * ? 1 1 s o , you I. in * w '
"Oh. no; ivall>, 1 i oviUin't.
"V'-s, yon can. ! t know any
fHVuv bfttor (inali'.'.t .1 it) do it thaai
J Oil i'Nl' l f
All Sorts.
wiml 'in Ira tiiin* of n?-i ct,
A .1 h? ? 1 1 1 1 * pr< {??: to r.%1 !? >sv
Sc wait! In ? 1 1 ii 1 1 ? !\ !?? I
\ i . ? 1 x< ?tt ; ? ? pri-fi r I" wallow
His T .1 1 e n Is.
- nr. odltorlal ftvftctuv.n ? Who
n.i'iiniful looking i" dividual
' ? hv c?.,y pi i < "
Ir-.r Ktritcr Oh. s A::v.t
II. > edits tin' c h i!i| r? i. >
i s \\'p( k!y
R ecu its.
n--H? ar on havo had an ad
o your family
?ii -Y< s two
" T wins?
No a hal.s hoy and my
;?
S ?' ?
l't
WHEN HIS APPETITE FAILED
Realization of Payment to Be Made
Left John Henry Without Dealre
for the Pheasant.
They w??re speaking of t ho woudGT*
ful days of courtship when he willing
I y muk*-a u million sacrifices to ap
pour like* great wealth In the dour
one's beautiful eyoa, A i nerry chuckle
on tho part of (Jov. f<oeko C'rutg of
North Carolina, who w?? one of tho
dlruiur jmrty. 1 1 < ? said ho wiih roinlud
e d of tho case of John Henry.
John Henry, according to tho govo r
nor, took tho darling of hid heart to a
cafe whero it 1h exj>ont?lve to eat'. Tho
dear one had said hIio wasn't hungry,
ho tho young lover thought ho would
oacttpo with no greater blow than an
Ico cream ticket.
Hut, alaa! Likewise wo# ? It was a
pheasant that tho dear one ordered,
with fixings to match. All that John
Ih-nry could do was to watch her and
?uffer.
"Jackey, dear," who sweetly re
murkfd, diving Into the IdhcIouh bird,
"you are not eating a hit of tjila
pheaaant. Won't you hare some?"
"No, darling," responded John Hon
ry. "I Iihth had all that I want."
"All that you want, dear W, ex
claimed tho young woman, showing
grwat an r prise. "Why, you haven't
had any!**
"Ym, I har?, aweet," answered
John Henry, with something akin to a
aoulful High. ."The waiter Just hand
ed toe the bill.'*
POLJSH JEW HELD IN HONOR
Warsaw Policeman Geta Remarkabl*
Recagaltlon From Alt CIsum of
th? People.
An acoo?*t of a Jubilee celebration
In honor of a Jewish policeman of
Waraaw, Poland, la contained in the
American Hebrew. The celebration
wm In Ixwior of fifty yearn' service
bjr rkjmeh YaWotiaky, an ex-guards
man.
In IXfiS he waa appointed consta
ble In th? Polish capital by the vice
roy, Grand Duk* Constantlne, who
took Into consideration his brilliant
conduct In the Crimean war. for
which ho wan decorated with a medal.
Yablonsky, who 1b now the only Jew
(Xi the Warsaw police force, per
formed the duties of a constable for
43 years, until eight years ago, when
he was transferred to the clerical de
partment.
lie In now eighty-eight years old,
and holds several decorations. The
entire police force Joined In the Jubi
lee celebration, and Yablonsky was
the object of hearty praise and con
gratulations. IIo received 100 rubles
from the chief of police, a watch from
his colleagues and a warm message
from the regiment of guards in which
ho served at the siego of Sebastopol.
In religion Yablonsky holds orthodox"
views, and lie has a special permit to j
attend synagogue services on Satur
days and festivals. ?
Satisfied.
Hut that if would cost too much to
print it, the landlady would probably
Include this piory In her advertise
ment every time she needs boarders.
In answer to an advertisement that
was published before the story hap
pened, she received as "paying guests"
a lady and gentleman and little girl
who had come down In the world.
Their descent was comparatively ro
cent, art? the lady Mill mourned de
parted grandeur. She had hopes of
gettirg some of it back, however, and
to that end who instructed the little
girl to pray, on the night of their ar
rival at tho boarding house, that God
would soon give them their pretty
home again ?
The child opened her eyes atid"
looked around tho comfortably furn
ished room.
"1 don't see anything the matter
with this," she said.
Pitching Pals.
Mathewson and McGinnity were |
rcre.it chums throughout their years of i
association on the New York team. |
Sometime**. with one of them in the j
')ox and going badly, the other would
start from the bench with
"Get out of there. Matty! You're rot
ten1 Let me show em something."
The following rejoinder:
"All right. Joe. Gome on in. I hope
hoy knock \ou full of holes." Then, |
tossing the ball to his pal. h?? would j
start lor the clubhouse.
McGraw left the pitching problem'
largely to thes? wise old foxes. "With i
them working together so w? 11. no
wonder wo win." was a favorite com
ment of his.? Popular Magazine.
j Rebuked a Purse-Proud Traveler.
Toi.i McN'eal tells sr\eral stories
.??.bin1. i Colonel Johnson, the landlord of
tee fity hotel ;n Motion One of them
s th:r>. A Mtme'.v hat dudish traveling
man came into G.o hotel and asked for
i cigar The < ?lon< 1 op* in d a cigar
eas?? and show. d the drummer his live
and ten-c?*iit brands but the dnrtlfh
drummer wasn't satisfied ' hor.'t you
k^ep some good cigars h< re su< h as a
gentleman wants to sm/>ke. about three
for a dollar " "Yes." said the colonel
impressively, "we keep cigars here for
l g> ntlemen to smoke, but w*> don't
k.-. p cigars for foolr " ? Kaunas
j i -v ^tar.
Nails Were Meant to l.??t
! f llasklns of North A da nis,
N'a-s, hn< a collection of hand mad*
j nail-: that were taken from an old
h *rse The rat's ar** all ma !?? of
?-??e! and are practically as g >< ?
J h?*n tir. t driven into the wood
l'h* ?' are crude in shape and si7e%a;-d
many o# t h'-m have heads on nr.lv
side of the shaft. The nails have
j b'*on In the building for forty yrars.
A
BIT
Hie Excuse.
"Iy>ogy yuh, |4 rudder Bagus!" ??
ver?:ly Huld good old Parson liagster,
on a recent Monday morning. "What
was de 'caHion for yo' 'sturbin' d?
whole cong 'egatlon last night by
Bnawtin' dat-uh-way and ten gittln' up
and trompln' out'n d? church wld all
de ferocity of a blind houu?"
"Uh-well, , to tell do troof, pahaou,"
answered the culprit, *Ts amphibious."
"Wha- what's dat yo' specifies? Yo' is
what?"
"Amphibious, sah. I walks in Btuh
Bleep." ? Judge.
Vindicated.
"I always knew Jo*h would grow
up to be a great help to us," said the
fond mother.
"I haven't seen him do any regular
work yet," replied Far mar Co rxi tea
sel.
"Well, if you'll take notice, he's the
only person around the place who
known how to teach the summer
boarders to <k> the tango aad Use tur
key-trot."
No 8ympathy.
"When I left home to seek my for
tune," Bald Mr. C'-assius Chex, *T had
only $20." ;
"Where was your boyhood homa?"
asked the cynical person.
"Punkville."
"Well, I don't see that you hare
any kick. Twenty dollars Is a lot of
money for anybody to clean up In
Punkville."
A NATURAL RESULT.
?<9* .
"What's Burns ho hot about?"
"The boss just now llred him."
Still Another Story.
A twenty-story new hotel
Now adds to N?w York's fdory;
And when it comes to prle?> of rooms ?
Why, that's another story.
Between Girls.
"Anything good at the theaterB next
week?"
"Hadn't noticed." Baid the other
girl. "Why?"
"If there is, I'll start a quarrel with
Freddy now, and then he can send me
a couple of matinee tickets to square
himself."
Somewhat Cynical.
"I seo where a man has won a bride
after proposing to her three times a
week for two years," remarked Glim
tnersly. single.
"Pshaw! A fellow who'll do that
doesn't deservo any luck," said Applo
bough, married.
Useful for Shopping.
"This is what I call my perpetual
shopping ticket."
"Why do you call it that?"
"Oh. it's something 1 take along
when 1 have no money to upend. It's a
sample of goods that nobody in town
can match."
A Terrible Trial.
"The great actress has had a nerv
ous breakdown. She is a complete
w reck." ,
"What caused it""
Shi' had two photographs taken
and had been trying to decide which
*he preferred."
E nsnared.
Kitty ? Oh Ethel. .lack has finally
proposed. I knew he would.
1'the! Whj . you said you thought
he bad no intention whatever of pro
posing.
Kitty ? Well, he didn't have
i
, Reversed.
A dinner in one respect is Vitally
different from a roKob.Jion in n meet
ing "
"What is th" specbi* di!7erence?"
' A dinner br.s to S.e tab '? d before
it ir. disci? s- d
Providing.
"Are there any per^uitdtei; a".-.ch?d
to this n'bee""
"Ve? the last man ????;. 1 ' ad it
: -t (?;( rrv them ,iw..y will; ::: rest
j of "
WORK AND EQUALITY
13 y GRACE MOQE.
"There goea Viola!" the littles aten* i
ographor whispered excitedly to her
visitor, u* hUo watched u girl hurry- ;
tug lo the elevator: "Kvery fon<l pa
i?<ut wlih preconceived ld?a? sb to the -
\s?y lo bring up ft fuiully ought to
meet \'lo|a'a faiher!
"Viola Ih rather btylUhly flx?d up
fur u businesswoman on Monday af
ternoon, Isn't she? Well, *he'? got a
right to bo, for she's her pupa's secre
tary, and she'a going to be married
and lw moat sumptuously entertained
almost dally! Yob, I'll toll you about
her.
"You know Mr. Gray, her father,
has been talking to mo about his
daOghter ever since I came lo work
for this Arm. He bays I ought to foel
proud of i;?y pluce? uay work In the
world, and no forth, Then he'd alwayh
end up by declaring that Viola wasn t
to be a parasite and that she waa a
child after hie own heart. She be
lieved In woman'# work and equality,
and all that, and when ahe'd finished
college sho was going to do something
worth while!
"Finally Viola graduated. I forget
how many yeara over and above the
first four It took her tb get through,
but her father calleft them poBt-gradu
ate yeara, und no one elae cared.
"When Viola failed to find a pub
lisher for her novel, which it took her
a year to write, and when ahe didn t
take to social settlement work or
woman's movements, papa got nerv
ous for her to get into something, but
none of the ordinary pursuita, it
seemed, appealed to little Viola!
"Finally I told him that 1 thought
sl>?'d make a good stenographer. I as
surfed him that It took brains and ed
ucation and capacity to compete with
most of us, and it was such a fruitful
field?so few in it! Well, he took it
all in ? never suspected for a moment
that there was sarcasm in my sugges
tion. 80 Viola took the training!
"Mr. Gray was in the clouds during
those months. He devoted four-fiftht
of his time to telling me what new fa
clllties for high-grade office work Violn
was going to bring when she arrived
? for he would have her for his pri
vate secretary. They planned things
at home, ho said.
"Well, I got alarmed and began real
ly to work to earn my Balary, for 1
didn't dare let Viola come into the of
flee and prove more satisfactory than
J!
"Before Viola arrived to go to work,
not only I. but the whole office force
know just how clever Viola was. We'd
all seen Viola when she had come to
call on papa, and Jimmy, tho ollici
U>y, who hadn't realized who she wa?
discovered that ho resembled nothing
else so much as just plain atmos
phere! Sho sailed past us all int.'
his inner oflice ? and then a little later !
sho sailed right out again without
glancing around.
"So - when Mr. Gray came in latr
one morning with Viola and intro
duced her to us all before ushering
her into his private oflice we were
prepared for the chilly reception we
got from her. We lost none of our
curiosity to- see what happened.
"Sho relieved me of all her father's
work, and I was rather glad, for he'd
been getting to be a nuisance ? keeping
me there hours over one letter talking
about Viola.
"Well, one night Jimmy called me
over and let me ?ee a letter he was
sealing. It was sort of kid finished
all over, from nearly every word hav
ing been erased, and it was rather
a mussy affair for us to send out
but it had. Viola's initials and her fa
ther's signature at tho foot.
1 "One morning Mr. Gray came down
alone to the office and he called me in
for dictation. He had a pile of letters
a foot high, and we just were buried
In work. There were letters a we??k
old ? important ones. Then I could
see the connection between Mr. Gray'R
increasing crow's feet and the light
malls he had been getting out. Viola 1
wasn't up to the work. 1
"Things got worse and worse. Mr.
Gray got to calling me in for dictation
oftener. and finally ho confided to me
that Viola hadn't found her vocation
yet. But she was engaged to a nice
young man, and he thought marriage
would round her out. and complete
her life.
"Ti>on Inst week I found him all
humped up at his desk when I an
swered his hell. I asked him what
was the matter, and he couldn't con
ceal it any more. 'It's Viola.' he said
'She says she loves her work and she
isn't going to 1^*. marriage separate
her from it. She's made the young
man promise that he'll let her stav
and help me. She knows what 1 think
of women's work in pie world and she
refuses to disappoint me! All 1 can
sav only makes her think that 1 m try
in*' to ?arrifirp mypolf for her ? and
sin 's going 10 stay!
"So Viola still comes down to the
oflice. She h.*^ entirely given up her
letters, hut phe tnlss over things with
papa and draws her salary.*'
Fox-Terrier Mothers Doc1*.
Mr. \Vo<"*'l *-otv , h'Md keeper at Nune*
ham Park. Kngiand, the le-id'uire n:
il.~ High* f.n*.v1? lHri o- . '. h .s
1 1 1 v-' t-rrier h ;n moth'-ring duck
From fh<* day it was hateh -d the chick
has b- en under tli*? cor.s'ant car11 of
(he dog ar.?l they are alna- j to
...,? er The will
v't'i or t..kf any notie?- of the other
'tis ii^ir th~ ce.'tacre. bus it i? al
vay? with the t errier? When the
;< . - harV .? ( t-trariKers r ? c :ek rvns
. r.d f;:if k 1* i? o\v .i*- t.'. ? **ve
A New Fancy Hand
LAUNDRY
My wMk is guaranteed to give perfect sat
isfaction ? am prepared to do your work
promptly and at reasonable prices. AH
domestic finish. *
I wish kind friends to help me out and
give me a trial order and be convinced,
Work Called For and Delivered.
JIMMIE LEE,
539 East DeKalb Street.
CAMDEN, SO. CAR.
Funerals Directed
??? ? _ - 9
We supply the best of burial goods, con
duct funerals and relieve families and
friends of many unpleasant duties ince
dent to death. We are always prepared
to serve those who need oYir service.
B. R. McCREIGHT, CAMDEN, S. C.
OXYGEN
CARBON CLEANER
We have installed an Oxygen
Carbon Cleaner and can make
your motor new like it was
when first bought.
ASK US ABOUT IT
Camden Motor Co.
Chic, Becoming, Exclusive, Ultra Smart, Fashionable
Th ese adjectives convey
but inadequately the ex
quisite beauty of the
Fall
Millinery
on display here.
YOU WILL FIND
that this establishment's reputation for the finest millin
ery is splendidly upheld by this Fall showing.
Very reasonable prices.
MISS MATTIE GERALD