The Camden chronicle. (Camden, S.C.) 1888-1981, January 31, 1913, Image 7
MA Toitt. U??
Tat, ??
||i| . wi?u
a tli? fctmii?
B**?7
Ute Utwu m?r*h?*H wmh ?f
tor him! t
THE PIG WAS W
"V v- ?; ' _ >y i .
aim Tom wa* ??brat." TUaj^waa
h porfootly natural euditiK (or
t ?
Uio porkor, but wo ? fowl - worry
for poor Tom, who, probably wuh
pot brought uy right..; You'll
uot bo beat If our pork you oat
wo camo by It honoatly!
Campbell Bros.
Horses and Mules
We h^ve just received a car
load of fine HORSES and
MULES and want you to call
and see them
W C MOORE
REAL ESTATE
. SELL. '
bo You Want to \ Pol
ILx
LOAN
BORROW
% ' -# -
I May Help You.
LAURENS T. MILLS,
CAMDEN. S.C.
? FRO^TpSooFcSbME PLANTS ^
guaranteed to saimfvctotomers
FROM THE ORIGINAL CABBAGE PLANT ?.*??
0
341
?ixxnweiifka,
ilwSnlis
AtMrrow fall lift* of
Htr&wW*raT l'ltnu,
iformntlon nhont frutt
- W r?r thousand.
NOT SUCH A GREAT AMOUNT
V
??Worth One'? Weight In Gold" Has
> Boen Accgrd?d Altofl*th?r Too
j Much Significance.
You oftsn huar of * muti or a worn
an or an ol>J< ? t of- to in* sort that 1 s
proclaimed to be "worth his <h?r or
1U) weight In gold." l)ld you aver
?top to figure out what your weight
lu gold would <>t your sweet
heart's? Or your baby's 7 Or your
favorite pipe's? You oaii do It ? ap
proximately. The value of gold fluo*
tuates. Usually It runs In price some*
where betwesn |19 and $80 and ounoe
last's take the latter amount. It's coa
ler to figure with, Oold Is weighed tfy
troy weight, twelve ounces to the
pound. In other words (at $20 an
ounce) $240 a pound Do you weigh
160 pounds? Then your weight In
gold is about $86,000. (The "capital
isation" of a msn who gets au $1,800
aryear salary.) Is your girl's weight
110 pounds? She Is worth ouly about
$16,400. Nearly $10,000 less than
yourself, though you probably won't
acknowledge lt~~to her. If your
pipe weighs two ounces its weight in
gold Is $40. Your 10-pound baby Is
worth only $2,400 In gold. So you
see "worth Its weight In gold" is
not such exorbitant praise after all.
Next time tell her Instead that she Is
worth her weight In radium.
AGAIN, "TO WHAT BASE USES"
H?r? Is Story That Will Shook Admir
ers of Two Recognlzsd Men
of Genius.
The ladles at a watering place In
Dohemia rocently organized a dress
making exhibition. A certain prin
cess agreed to open It. At the last
moment some one noticed that the
most Important models, two very gor
geous luce blouses, were not displayed
to proper advantage. The caretaker
was called and Instructed to beg, bor
row or steal two dressmaker's dum
mies and to drape the blouses upon
them beforo the princess arrived.
After the opening ceremony it was
noticed that tho exhibits were excit
ing a great deal more attention than
the committee had counted on and
the princeps insisted on seeing the
two objects which wero the center Of
attraction. Her;, surprise. was very
great when she caught sight of two
llfesi'/e busts of Schiller and Goethe,
both decked out in lace blouses.
Tho caretaker, not being able to bc
curo dummlOB, had borrowed the fig?
ures of tho poets from the pending
room, and as they were somewhat
flat chested had carefully stuffed them
with dusters to fill out tho blouses.
Cornered Him. j
"Are you Mr. lioxey?" asked the
beautiful young vioman who had suc
ceeded in Raining admittance to tho
private Office.
"Yes^* he replied, regretting as he
glanced at her that he kept her wait
ing so long in the anteroom. "Won't
you sit down?"
"Thank you. I supposo I ought not
to have disturbed ,you at thffe hour.
You are very busy."
"Oh, no; I have nothing - on hafid
that can't wait as well as not," he re
plied with an encouraging smile.
"I hardly know," she said, looking
sweetly embarrassed, "how to explain
what I came to see you about. I'm
afraid I ought not to have come."
"Don't hesitate to let mo know what
I can do for you. You neodn't have
the slightest fear, that I shall not be
glad to help you in any way I can."
"Thank yoU so piuch. You are aw
fully kind. I just wanted you to raise
my husband's Balary about $25 a
month. He is Mr. ^impkins of your
sales department anh he dfdn't want
to ask you for the raise himself, but
you don't want me to have to keep on
economizing any more, do you?" ? Chi
cago RecoVd-Herald.
Honeymoons.
An Englishman and his wife have
recently had a honeymoon, the second
since their marriage. They left the
babies at home and went to the place
where they went on the day they were
married and stayed as long as they
could stand it. They didn't like it at
all. They didn't see how they'd-man
aged on their previous honeymoon?
without the children! In short, the
times had changed and Honeymooning
wasn't to their way of thinking a^y
longer. Honeymoons do read well.
Wo hear about people going on them
and we think we'd rather like -to. go
along. Or go again. But if we did ?
really, I think going agatn would be
almost as bad as going along! 1
guess lh6 English couple filaed Uup
correctly. - There's no "Backward,
turn backward, oh! time, In thy
flight!" No chance of a seoond hon
eymoon. Unless we get a second hus
band or a second wife.
Much Like Human Life.
A tree does not die of old age. It
accumulates infirmities with the yearn
and has many diseases. It may starve
or die of thirst; caterpillars may eat
Its foliage, scale' bugs suck Its fulces,
beetlea tunnel under the bark, scab,
rust, molds, rot, blight, may prey
upon it. The wind is also an eneray.
Peeling the bark of the birch does not
kill it. The lumbering season is over
when the sap begins to stream up
ward, as wood cut "in the sap" is 11a
bio to drscay. A sugar maple In three
weeks yields of Its llfo's blood to the
extent of 25 gallons (70 drops falling
?very minute), which boils down to r
little less than Ave pounds of sugar.
The treea are not lafared lf ftyoperlT
treated, nor exhausted by being bored
tco much cr at the wrong time.
WHAT ?UNFRlQeO HIM.
*1 suuvose," said the Interviewer,
"you have found muny ?urprl?ing
thing* In our couutry."
"Yea," rvplled tb? dl?tlngui?hed for'
?Iguur, "I bhall freely coufeas that I
bare."
"Would you mind telling uia for pub
lication what partlcularr thing ittf"
prtavd you mo?t?" , i
"Not al all, my boy, not at all One
thing that ban surprised me la the fact
that few of your people can spell. but
, that Is not what luui most surprised
mo." r:
"What, If 1 may ask, has cauufd, you
moat surprise?"
I *'I have asid that 1 have been aur
prlsed to find that few of your people
I know how to read, The thlug that
I baa moat aurprlaed me, la that Inabil
ity to apell appears to be regarded aa
1 a mark of dlatluctlou Moat of your
I pooplo bona I about their Ignorance In
1 this particular."
Affinities.
The dapper little ribbon clerk gated
languishing!)' Into the dark eyes of
the handsome brunette waitress.
"Isn't It wonderful," he gurgled,
"how oppoaltcs seem to be attracted
to cacb other?"
"It sure is," agreed the beauty. "I
noticed only today that the tallest
man at the lunch counter ordered
short-cuke. " ? l.lpplncott's.
VERY MUCH OF A CALF.
Vim
The Ha?torner? la that tenderfoot
a cowboy?
The Westerner ? No?? ouly a calf
oby.
? The Gentle 8ava(je.
The stono ?ko men wero florco and rude,
Ot ,ko 11k* story runs.
Yet now they socm a peaceful brood,
They never carried (?unn.
Broke the Monotony.
"Yesterday," complained tho Sunday
Bchool superintendent, "you boys Bat
through a twelve-inning game and you
Bhowed no algna of uneasiness. Yet
here you cannot llBten to me for thirty
minutes without becoming restless. I
can't understand why the ball game
receives more serious attention."
"Because," came in a stage whisper
from a Beat of husky boys, "they
change pitchers occasionally." ? Judge.
Expensive.
"How often Is your ""motor over
hauled, Binks?" asked Duaenberry.
"Four times last' month," said
IMnks.
"Four times in one month? Geeru
satam! What for?" demanded Dusen
berry.
"Speeding," Bald Rinks. "Twice by
the bicycle cops, once by a deputy
sheriff; and oncc by a plain/ Common
garden, village constable."? Judge.
Does He Mean Bathing Suits?
Hub (looking up from newspaper)?
My dear, have you seen any of those i
invisible suits yet?
Wife? Invisible suits? What are
you talking about? ,
Hub ? Why, here's a New York lar
dies' tailor advertising: "Suits made
to order with or without material."
NATURALLY.
Joskins-^-His record is the worst In
town/
Honking ? What is his business?
Joskins ? Weather clerk.
Familiar Neighborhood.
The. poets ?inir
Of Poverty Row;
No wonder they do
It'* a place they knowl
Indifferent.
"The scientists say that man la 75
per cent water," said Dildad.
"Well, what of It?" retorted- Mrs.
Bildad. ?
'"That's all the more reason why
he shouldn't take any stock in him." ?
Judge.
Poems Without Rhyme.
"Look, Louis! What beautiful hataL
How ciiW,4hey *r?-*real poems!"
"Whala shame that my poeketa
TTave no rhymes for such poems!" ?
Eucescos (Santiago, Chill).
SAWYER'S KID
TIiIn community In favor od by having ttciontiflo ^hy^U-Jans
who know how to diajcnoHii <????<?. WK KNOW HOW to f||l
their prw;rlptl<??*| and w?* u?o only pirns fiTNh di-u^H.
Wo lUwayn havo 0v?'ryt/h|ni< for tlu* ?lcl* and (lio wick room ,
? iuiUm?|>(Io rot <oi? and hand ago*, disinfectants, m> i-Ii?k?'h, ruhhor
hot. watrr ha^x, loo Imns.
rirnd to us for your mi'd IcIiu'n. ? Wo nov?T' MihNtltuto.
Oomo to tVM It Drug Htoro.
?Sawyer Drug Company1
This Seal Means Quality
Ask for Sunshine Biscuits
if you want to taste the utmost
in purity and deliciousness.
Literally baked in the sunshine,
they are unusually crisp1 and
delicate in substance. You'll
wlike them if you like "better
things/'
FOlt HAlJS AT llItUOK?H lMJliM POOD KTOHIJ.
AND SIIDK-S
HIGHEST MARKET PRICE PAID
FOR RAW PURS AND HIDES )
Wool on Coft iulislon. Write {or pHco* }
r iut mantlonlnB tola atf.
Standard Live Stock Insurance
Company
Insures Horses, Mules and Cattle
' Against any Disease.
Horses, Mules and Cattle must die-? You can't dispute
this fact. Knowing this no owner can afford to be
without insurance of this character.
44
Let Us Be Your Agents"
WILLIAMS INSURANCE & REALTY COMPANY
(fncorixmited.)
1012 Broad Street Camden, South Carolina
IT'S GOOD TO
[BE WARM
especially when the thermome
ter t? li over lug aroufyrtnio zero:
mark. That 1b the time that
you want coal, and plenty' of 'it.'
Send us your order for any kind
of coal you want, and it will bo
delivered promptly, .. and you
will get full value for your mon
ey. That is our guarantee.
CAN SUPPLY YOUR WANTS
, Any Kind Any Size Any Kind Any Length
COAL COAL. WOOD W0~OD
Special prices made on Coal, Wood and Coke, -by the oar
Am now sawing wood in lota of 5 cords and up. A limltod sup-r;
ply of the best Johnson Grass Hay baled for sale. Phone your
order to
S. M. MATHI5
' ' " ' > * ' ? . - : ? ? T ? n
Office rhone 68. Residence Phone