The Camden chronicle. (Camden, S.C.) 1888-1981, April 12, 1912, Image 7
pair of
KOD AKBRS
"^MADtUNE UEWIS
*T4()?( itlnbrMne. r?tlr?a oa
Ers. owu"r ot * ,v, ,??
a had the gout. He alao
'".nUrned ?W- l,'urU,er' ">?
' "! ImU retired blm 86 ?!??
he reached the retiring
? ti? felt that be b*d *?en
. of tb? service to which h.
,.h Wine fence and windmill
^'con.uaUT CPMto* .tth.
and disturbing him. and kodak
jUh t? and landscape painters
Ue.pa.Blng on hi. **?">._
commodore swore and growled
.?,hied a* an old sailor has a
? JlKht to do, but the public dU
Kf warning. He hung out sign*
?ire of the dog" and Tree
WIU be prosecuted, " hut no
Kg frightened. He finally made
" n by numerous signs that he
bear traps and spring guns in
of woods back of Ws villa, and
Jg? beach, and that anyone run,
Afoul of them must take the ?on
icea.
commodore did not know his
(or on the right nor did the one
left He didn't want to know
He wantod to be alone with
wife and his gout and his
Ed llver- and pa#* *4i re"
f years in seeing the navstl
go to the dogs because he bad
q kept on. If he had known the
,r on the right he would hare
that she was Widow Parker,
Kpf a lawyer, and that 4he had a
?rul daughter named Clara.
Erf known the one on the left
Eld have known that he wm a
Street broker and had a son two
Eider than the other's daughter.
retired commodore might have
? but didn't, that Harry Btqp
a of the broker, was home on
college vacation. He might
Ibo known, but didn't, that the
b daughter, Clara, was home
n because the art schools ha<J
for two months. If anyone had
in these things he would H&live
hifl gout and the teller, too,
uted to know what such puer<
dents had to do with the decpy
American nftvy.
|t could not have been known
| commodore was the fact that
ke broker's son and the widow's
for were what is termed kodak
I They stood ready , to Bndp
by thing from a mosquito to a
led barn. They photographed
[lying down and bulls on the
ke. They would snapshot the
[dandelion and the gnarled cfek.
fchot the shimmering waters of
Lnd and the shady dell 4n the
I They pointed their deadly ta
ints at the clam on the shore
le squirrel in the -tree. They
lends without knowing each fth
t the law of attraction, aided
Ipmmodoro with the gout and a
I liver, were to bring them to
|D o'clock of a certain morning,
Idaker appeared on the beach
lie north and another from the
I For some time each was ignpr
[the other's presence. The girl
la stranded lobster, and photo
p htm from three different posit
kd Jotted it dowtrin her mem
In book, that the photos were to
?tied "The Lobster's Lament."
lung man found a starfish with
In gone and old age creeping
fci, and snapped him as "Never
? Then the two met. The
kian removed his cap and bow
I the girl started in a haughty
| Kodaking is a profession,
|>se who follow it are always
? of each other. Both were on
?mel's land, and both were tres
I but they did not take that
Isideration. Each felt that the
?longed to him,. It was thei?
Baking marine views, and each
jtermlned to hold that beach
I the other.
mt
k Mr. Bingham was ready for
it at a stranded oat when the
lached his ear. He paused to
I. The girl had a determined
I her face. He steped back
Is camera in some confusion,
fcn sho went ahead and made
?r a shot he called out "Miss!"
?testing voice.
? saw it first," she announced.
? your pardon."
1 did."
?an bath get a picture of It.
Be of any assistance to you In
?g "
?Parker turned away and ea
?10 woods ? the commodore's
I Itigiit there on, a big elm
? o signs of "Beware of spring
?nd "Look out for bear traps!" i
? saw them not. Had she seen]
? would have made no differs
?jere was a young man ? a
|Mng young man, evidently of
?d breeding ? who was ruder
?elf. in the three years she
?wn that beach not *a single
? come ashore before this one,
?panted her to share the glory
wnl He was no true gentle
st she knew of a dell not "far
?id, she would go there and
? robing and squlrrols, and If
I to follow It would be awd
Bis life. When he saw that
? offended and going away he
? her and offered to yield the
? she disappeared with ~ *
? and red cheeks. Coulc
?tographed herself
P?l?4 th. plctur. _ .
?
?
taring VUw of a Mad Yoiing Lady."
'Click! Snap! Sereai*?'
Ttie old commodore ted been In
I earnest about those beartrajw. though
ltftf ^yna ?*>?>"* ?nrlhf ytpia htut
' Intended bo My for juprai effect, lie
had get half a doseu trap#. and an ahe
bad progressed towrtd the dell Clara
bad sprung one of Her escape
from tbo cruel jaw? wag marveloua.
They utUsed hpr anises Jt>ut gathered
Id her skirts of stout cloth, and she
presently found that ahe waa aa much
of a prisoner aa If aire bad been
caught by ? foot.
Just that one scrpam and then ahe
realized the altuatfon. The irascible
commodore might oome charging
through the woode at any moment,
and at any moment t^a ungentleinan
ly, young gentleman might take It
into bis head to aba?uiv*? the old boat
and follow on her trqJk Jt did not
take her two minute* to realise that
without a knife to cut away ber akirta
abe mu8t remain there a prisoner un
til . some one came to releaae ber.
8he could not pick up the trap and
walk off with it, owing to Its weight,
and ueltber could ahe ait down and
reat. ?
For the first ten mlnjutea Clara pon
dered. For the mext qfce allently wept
She could hear that young man wbla
tle down on the beach. In the other
direction ahe could bear the commo
dore curalng hla coachman and man
of -all-work. She had left the young
man In a buff about a boat, if he
came ahe muat apoleghce. She be
lieved ahe had read o^/heard that re
tired commodores first caught their
vlctlma In bear traj>s and then burned
them at the stake. There was mo#e
silent weeping. A photograph of
Clara Parker Just then should have
been entitled "A Mermaid Ashore, Or
The Shedder of the Scalding Tear."
Harry Bingham's kodak enthualaam
hfld led him to be a bit discourteous
towards a strange young lady. He
regretted it at once. She .had no soon
er turned her back on him than be
kicked the boat into the surf and then
theoretically kicked himself along me
beach for a quarter of a mile. Then
he entered the woods 60 give her a
chance to seek the beach and walk
fiome. After remaining in hiding for
bhlf an hour he took a wander, among
the treea, and all of a auddfon he atood
before the young lady whom he be
lieved waa homeward bound. She
was Bheddlng tears and " yet seeking
to maintain a certain <Jtgnlty.
"I? I beg your paaulam, but Is any
thing wrong?" he afcataanered as he
came to a halt.
She choked and swallowed in ber
efforts to look lndlgnasft.
"Ah, I see," he ^b^ftnued. "You
have been caught fn a trap. Why
didn't you call V ?
Sbe wanted to reply that nothing on
earth could have induced her to ask
hla aid after the eplaode of the boat,
but he seemed so different now, that
she simply shed m,ore t**rs ahd wiped
them away. He found a limb on the
ground, and with a "permit me" he
used it as a lever to%pry the Jaws of
the trap open and release her. .
"Narrdw escape for you,' 'he quiet
ly said. "Whoever set' such a trap
here ought to be sent to prison. I?
I r* ? ... . ...
The' girl stood and Jooked at him,
wondering whether to* thank him or
walk off without a word, when he
continued: >
"I'm sorry about that boat and ask
your forgiveness*.'
"Grant ? granted!" she managed to
say as she walked off.
One can never tell how such things 1
will turn. out, but as the retired com-'l
modore hears their voices singing ^>nd
laughing over the hedge dividing the
two villas on the right he growls:
"Humphl Another pair of young
fools getting ready to make them
selves miserable for life!"
British Tars May Rise.
From certain indications' which have
been made pftbllc In vartoUB quarters,
the surmise is not- hazardous that
some steps are contemplated which
may tend to open wider the portals
that give admission to the quarter
deck of hid majesty's ships of war,
says the London Chronicle. There
exists a general feeling that the time
has arrived for an advance in this di
rection to be. made. Questions in the
houBe of commons have elicited an
swers which have shown that the ad
miralty, though properly cautious
in a matter so vital as the constitution
of the corps of British naval officers,
are not unfriendly to the Idea. There
is some dissatisfaction at the present
time on the lower deck, due in part to
the existence of, what is regarded as a
bar to the promotion of deserving men
of character and ability. An Idea has
also been propounded that some means
should be discovered of admitting to
Osborne and Dartmouth boys coming
from a class less richly dowered with
the world's goods than the majority
of thosfe who are now found in those
establishments. Up to the present
time, however, no plan, or even defi
nite proposal, has been made for deal
ing with either part of the problem.
tiob designed to accurately and prac
tically weigh coal taken off or put on
a collier, is to be Installed on t)oard
the naval collier Neptune at Norfolk
for test
Th6 device comprises a tube placed
as near as possible to. the center of
gravity of the water lines of tt*e ship,
in which tube !? a float designed la
accordance With the lines of the ship.
There Is a connection 'by a System of
To Measure Coal.
A porhydrometer. an English Invent
HIS STRATAGEM WAS COSTLY
II Wi? Designed to Break Him of
Clo?rett? Habit, but Only Loft
| , 7 FVT/n " Poorer.
>lac Kvouo U described by Mrs.
Meyer, our landlady, ait belug a "?tu?
dlum" and "|H)or *a a church mouse.''
'?'be first appellation 1h true? bo la a
student of engineering; tbe aluille is
ratber baffling, but that he la poor 1
(ear Is true also. Mac Keepe la a
philosopher. Many men of little 'busi
ness, 1 observe. are philosophers. I
bo^me acquainted with Mac Keeue
when I Invited him io one evening to
share the warmth from my Are ? bo
having none? and he proved a t reaa '
uro to me during many long winter ;
evenings. I offered him a smoke, and
was Instantly attracted to the man by
his story of the cunning stratagem he
employed to break himself of the
hublt of smoking to excess.
Mac Keene had devised sundry and
divers tricks to accomplish his en<}.
all without suoco8h; the latest
I maneuver against the enemy consist*
ed In his buying tbe most expensive
cigarettes he could flud, with the idea
in mind that {be wanton and profligate
extravagance of smoking them up too
rapidly would materially reduce his
consumption of the weed; then, If the
campaign were successful, he would
not increase bis expense in the long
run, but when the habit was more^un-1
der control be could reduce his ex
pense even below the present by re
turning to cheaper brands. Such in*
geaulty as this was deserving of re
ward, but alas! it failed from the
start, and left Mac Keene a poorer
and & no more (emj>erate man. ? New
York Evening Post. j
SHOULD BE TAUGHT TO EAT
School Girls and Boys Need Lesions
in Mastication for Their Stom
achs' Sake. ?
i Nor Is It enough that school girls
and boys should bo taught to cook;
they should also learn how to eat.
Pew learn this at home. They are
| {usually taught- to eat silently, and not
?to take soup off the end of a spoon
'or to put the knife Into the mouth;
'but the more Important art of masti
cation Is Ignored. It Is a branch of
'physiology and should bo taught by
experts in tae schools.
If it were, the next generation of
mothers and fathers would know that
it is a crime to let tlselr children swal
low food, particularly milk and cereals
and vegetables, before it has been
j ; kept for a while in the mouth to be
'mixed with saliva and made digest
ible." ;?/ ?--- ? ? ?;
i If it were Indelibly impressed on
school children that gluttony is a vice
which defeats Its own end, that by
eating slowly much more pleasure can
be got from one mouthful than by
| bolting a whole plateful, that this
pleasure can be vastly increased by
consciously exhaling through the nose
?while eating, and that those who eat in
this way will escape the pangs of indi
tion ? if these truths were im
pressed on every child mind, two-thirds
of the minor ills of mankind would dis
appear in two generations, and most of
the major maladies also; for the stom?
ach is the source of most diseases.
As Thomas Walkter wrote nearly a
century ago, "Content the stomach
and the stomach will content you."
The "Fruits" of Ambition.
"If you are ambitious, and want to
get on in life, don't wait for your op
portunity ? make it."
So counselled Mr. Kalestick to
young Kabbage, whom he had Just
appointed to the management of a
green-grocery stall.
All that day the youth' pondered the
advice, and he still remembered it
when his eye suddenly caught an item
in the sporting columns of his favor-,
ito paper: "Clodville Football club
requires dates for December."
Two minutes later Kabbage was
busy with pen, ink and paper, and in
ten more minutes he was proudly con
ning the following note to the Clod
vllle secretary :
"Dear Sif? I beg to inform you thafc
we have a choice lot of dates in stock.
Inclose one as a sample, and will be
pleased to supply any quantity at two
pence a pound, or four pounds for
se venpence ha-penny ! " ? Ideas.
Pulse Watch.
Among the- ingenious devices of the
physician may be mentioned a watch,
constructed on the "stop" principle,
whereby the number of pulse beats per
minute may be Indicated. A push-but
ton is pressed at the beginning of the
countahd again at the twentieth pulsa
tion, when the number of beats per
minute is shown on a dial without the
necessity of calculation. Still another
push on the button brings the counter
back to the starting point. In. the
ordinary method >of taking the pulse
the observer Is obliged to do two
things at the same time ? count the
beats and keep his eye on his watch.
With the ihiIho watch only one opera
tion is necessary, the counting of the
population up to 20? when the push but
ton is pressed. V,
I ? jj: :? i nT n
He Was on Oath.
"Now, Frank, remember you are on
oath. Don't testify to what you can't
swear to. Did you really see the pris
oner bite the other man's ear off?"
"Well, your honor, I see de pris
oner go up to de odder man an' open
hid mouf, and place it kinder 'round
his ear, an' when he eome away de od
der gemraun didn't hab no ear, $Bnt fn
wouldn't want ter swar de prla'ncr net
ually done bite dat ear off ! "...
J.j ? ,v? ;,v\ 'i ,1 a vlfif'
? r v ?
Cause 4
For Alarm J
* V
| i
Mr^ Winchester. wbo hatt boon sit* J <
ting la mii attitude of dejected b*> |
uildtrmeni in frout of u pile of dllka j<
of varlouv colora and descriptions 1 ;
auddenly th-vs ami plucks ber friend i <
Mr?. Palmer from out of the paualng j j
thiong. She druKH bur victim buck j <
with her to the allk counter.) j i
Mrs Wlncbenter -My dear. I'm no | <
glud to see you that 1 could fall on j
your nock and weep. You've simply <
got to select a gown for me Really, j
I've been through so much the last <
two woekH that I'm not capable of *?? j
lectlng a dish towel, even If that <
would serve the present purpose, i
which It won't. ?'
"It's all on account of Tom, poor, i
dear boy! Of course youv'e heard 1
that be Is engaged. You haven't? <
Well, the fact has ho thoroughly filled 1
my borlcon that I suppose I have got
Into the habit of thinking everybody
else la absorbed In It. too. I'm Just
heartbroken about it.
"Yea, I was going to tell you about
the girl that poor Tom's engaged to.
I'm so distressed about It. She's per*
foctly wonderful and charming, too,
I don't doubt, but. my dear, she's the
most superior creature that ever wfia
born! She knowa everything. (To
cleric) Yes that'* very pretty, but I
don't think It'a quite what I want.
"You kaow it'a to wear at the ra
ceptton that my eon's fiancee's mother
is going to give to announce the en
gagement, and I'm afraid that would
look to plain. I wonder how voile
would do. I'm fond of voile, but I
really don't know what Is suitable for
the groom's mother. Nobody ever
pays any attention to the masculine
side of a wedding, anyway, but I sup
pose If I looked dowdy the.re'd be no
end of talk. (To clerk) Could you
ahow me some of those things quite
down at the other end? So nice of
you. > *
"There's no reason on earth why
everybody shouldn't be delighted. Her
family is verp prosperous and Torfi is
quite able, young as he is, to set up a
very creditable establishment. I'm
so distressed about It. (To clerk)
Hov.' much did you sav that piece
was? Oh, dear, I'm sorry. It does
seem Just what I want, but really I
don't feel that I can pay as much as
that.
"When you count the making and
the trimming and everything, don't
you kfiow, it mounts up so frightfully.
Yes, it's true that cheap materials are
the tiiost expensive in the end. but
then when you have only so much
money "to spend for a thin*? I don't
I kaow what you're going to do.
"Why should I, object to the mar
riage? My dear, don't for n minute
Imagine that I object. How could I?
Tom says he's the luckiest and the
happiest man that ever waB, and I'm
bound to believe him. It does seem
so hard, though, to bring up a boy
through all kinds of experiences ?
measles and mumps, and besides those
Tom had a perfectly terrible attack
of typhoid three years ago, and I
stayed with him day and night, and
nobody fad any idea he'd live through
It ? and then to have him marry some
perfectly strange girl that nobody
ever heard of and that speaks half a
dozen different languages! (To clerk)
Could I look at that piece at the bot
tom of the shelf? That sort of pink
ish lavender, I'm afraid it's going to
be an awful bother to you to get It,
but it does attract me so.
"Yes, Indeed, I feel almost as sorry
for her as I do for myself. Think of
the poor creature saddled wltl\ a
mother-in-law who doesn't even know
her own language particularly well. I
can Just feel how that poor cultured
child will shiver every time I open
my moiittu* ^ *
"Yes, isn't that pretty? (To clerk)
How much did you say? Well, I be
- lieve I could afford that. I have some
lace that I could use and that will re
duce the cost,
"How nice It would be to be the
bride's mother. She always seems to
wear gray satin and duch.esse lace.,
It must simplify things so greatly.
"Ethel! ? that's her name, Ethel
Ilarcourt ? knows how to*, cook! She
took domestic science. Of course. I
can cook in a way, hut I wouldn't
dare to ask anybody who didn't have
the digestion of an ostrich to eat the
thing* I mako. Ethel asked me the
other day what 1 considered the most
hygienic way to mako bread! I felt
like a criminal when I told her .that
I never had made any, but that I
would ask Eliza, the cook I have had
for the last 20 years, how she did It.
Ethel sighed compassionately.
"She was ready for college when
she was sixteen, and Tom says she
simply to fight the whole family,
to get them to let her go then, flow
am 1 over going to adjust myself to a
daughter-in-law tolth such a super
abundance of education?, I never
wanted an education. I was too busy
having a good time. All that I ever
learned was thrust upon me. (To
clerk) Yes, cut It oft and send it up.
please. I've got to decide some time,
and I suppose I might as well decide
no*.
"Ethel seems like a judgment on
Tom for having such a frivolous moth
er, but I don't know why poor Tom
should be punished for it But then
be think's he perfectly happy, and
that's the main thing." ?: g ^ :.rj?
?w ' /. ; '
* * -
SPRING
Millinery Exkuit
NINETEEN TWELVE
We announce our formal showing ot the new
Hats for spring and summer \v<;ar. V.rv oxlci?J
a special invitation to the latiic* ui v ??i?,ui n auu
Kershaw County to visit our parlor
The offerings will be character*/*'*' hv neater
pieces of American and Euroi t.ai\ i w t.
Every hat is* absolutely new ~ and n.Ai.y of the
creations exclusive with us.
We cordially invite you and your triend* to
inspect this, the largest and moft !>< of
ferings in made hats and millinery i,Uv?u*? (hat
has ever been shown in Camden.
The Misses Gok dlti
GARDNER & COMPANY
Heavy and Fancy Groceries, Fresh
Meats and Country Produce
HIGHEST MARKET PRICES PAiL FOR
HOGS AND CATTLI
Near Hermitage Cotton Mills
'Phone 221 -J.
ROBERTS MARKET
Ha# recently h?rm remodeled
and enlarged Co supply the
increasing demand for
FRESH MEATS
We solicit a share of your
patronage and guarantee sat
isfaction and Prompt Service.
TELEPHONE NUMBER 29 6 - L
SASH
DOORS
7:r; SEE OUR
Hard Wood Ceiling
AT
Yellow Pine Prices
'? ' ' * ' :P,
SHAND BUILDERS' SUPPLY COMPANY
DeKALB STREET
BLINDS
MOULDINGS
WANT
a Better
OB?
1UUU1
ness colleges COMBlNt<D?
'S2Sp.?.ur
t^xs, sng
ip.WUiiCXVQ 1
48 Colleges In 18 States.
_ ? . bu?l*
I n t ci national reputation;
Bustnww
P * U IrCI lKlllUIJtll I UJ)Ul
r. rJookkeepers all ov^ri Horn. Study. Thousands of bank cash
iers bod k keepers, and stenographic are
bolomg^ood positions as the result of
taking Drtuitfhon's Home 8tudy. '
_ CATALOGUE. Per prices on lessons
gr write Xno. F. Draoghon,
President Nashville, Tenn. Forjfcvcat
tin A rrnirnTw , ? Vi? "I ZZEZL' 41 ogue on 0011 rse ^ T COLLEGE, write
PRACTICAL BUSINESS COLLEGE
o?-ni.?rW?iuls,c,? .. .... N?.KTai.,T.?-.