Cheraw chronicle. (Cheraw, S.C.) 1896-2005, August 25, 1921, Image 7
I NO
:= c
THE BATTLE.
Synopsis.?Dyck Calhoun, gifted
young Irish Gentleman of the time
of the French and American revolutions.
meets Sheila Llyn. seventeen-year-old
girl visiting Irt the
neghbornood. They are mutually
attracted. Sheila never knew her
dissipated father. Erris Boyne, her
mother having divorced him. In
* Dublin Leonard Mallow and Dyck
light with swords and D?ck is victor.
Erris Boyne. secretly in French
employ, gets Dyck drunk and tries
to persuade him to Join In revolt
against England. They quarrel.
While Dyck is overcome with
drugged wine, Loyne's second wife
enters the room and stabs her
faithless husband to the heart.
Dyck is arrested on a charge of
murder. He does not know if he
killed Boyne or not. Sheila begs
her mother to go to Dublin with
her to help Dyck. Mrs. Llyn opposes
the idea. A letter from Mrs.
Llyn's wealthy brother in America
decides them to go and live with
him. Dyck refuses to enter any
plea except "No Defense." He
might have escaped by revealing
lioyne s ireacnery uui icmoco *...
Sheila's account. He is sent to
prison for right years. Sheila
writes Dyck, assuring him of her
belief In his Innocence. Released
. after serving four years. Dyck finds
himself destitute, his father dead.
In London Dyck receives a letter
from Sheila inviting him to come
to America and sending money for I
the voyage. He feels he cannot In
honor go to her. Dyck Joins the
British navy as an enlisted man.
Bad conditions in the fleet result In
mutiny.
CHAPTER XI.
To the West Indies.
A fortnight later the mutiny at the
Nore shook ami bewildered the British
isles.
The day after Richard Parker visited
the Ariadne the fleet had been put
under the control of the seamen's Delegates,
who were men of standing in
the ships, and of personal popularity.
Their first act was to declare that the
fleet should not leave port until the
men's demands were satisfied.
The government had armed the forts
at Sheerness, had sent troops and guns
to Grnvesend and Tilbury, and had declared
war upon the rebellious fleet.
, At the head of the Delegates, Richard
Parker, with an officer's knowledge,
became a kind of bogus admiral,
who, in interview's with the real admirals
and the representatives of the
admiralty board, talked like one wno,
having power, meant to use It ruthlessly.
The government had yielded to
f the Spithead mutineers, giving pardon
to all except the ringleaders, and
granting demands for increased wages
and better food, with a promise to consider
the question of prize-money; but
the Nore mutineers refused to accept
that agreement, and enlarged the
Spithead demands.
t> The Delegates demanded a deputation
from the admiralty. Parker declaring
that no accommodation could
occur without the appearance of the
lords of the admiralty at the Nore.
Then followed threatening arrangements,
and the Delegates decided to
blockade the Thames ami the Medway.
It was at this time that Pyck Calhoun?who,
by consent of Itichard
Parker, had taken control of the
Ariadne?took action which was to alter
the course of his own life and that
of tunny others.
Since the beginning of the mutiny
1 he hail acted with decision, judgment
and strength. He had agreed to tlie
Ariadne joining the mutinous ships.
DEF
By GILBERT]
food and drink fitment is. They know
how safe we are, and today orders
have come to yield our provisions to
the rest of the fleet. That is. we. who
' have taken time by the forelock, must
yield up our pood gettinps to bad receivers.
1 am not prepared to do it.
"The fleet could not sail now If it
wished: but one ship can sail, and it Is
i ours. The fleet hasn't the food to sail.
On Richard 1'arker's ship, the Sandwich,
there is food only for a week.
The others are almost as bad. We are
In danger of being attacked. Sir Erasmus
Gower, of the Neptune, has a fleet
of warships, gunboats, and amateur
armed vessels getting ready to attack
us. The North sea fleet has come to
help us, but that doesn't save us. I'll
say this?we are io.val men In this
fleet, otherwise our ships would have
joined the enemy In the waters of
France or Holland. They can't go now,
in any case. The men have lost heart.
"For the moment we have a majority
in men and ships; but we can't
renew our food or drink, or ammunlI
tlon. The end is sure against us. Our
I original agitation was just: our present
obduracy is madness. The ship is
I suspected. It is believed by the rest
of the fleet?by ships like the Invincible?that
we're weak-kneed, selfish
and lacking in fidelity to the cause.
That's not true; but we are in this position?we
have either to fight or to
run. and perhaps to do both.
"Make no mistake. The government
are not cowards; the admiralty are
gentlemen of determination. If men
like Admiral Howe support the admiralty?Howe,
one of the best friends
the seaman ever had?what do you
think the end will be? live you heard
O Cnlthno/I Tho CPA.
uimi iici|J|'uuru ?ii ii|Miuvuu *i?v. vv?.
men chivvied Admiral Alan Gardner
and his colleagues aboard a ship. He
caught hold of a seaman Delegate by
the collar and shook him. They closed
In on him. They handled him roughly.
He sprang on the hammock nettings,
put the noose of the hanging-rope
round his neck, and said to the men
who advanced menacingly:
" 'If you will return to your duty,
you may hang me at the yard-arm!'
"That's the kind of stuff our admirals
are made of. We have no quarrel
with the majority of our officers.
They're straight, they're honest, and
they're true to their game. Our quarrel
is with parliament and the admiralty;
our struggle is with the people
of the kingdom, who have not seen to
it that our wrongs are put right, that
we have food to eat, water to drink
and money to spend."
He waved a hand, as though to
sweep away the criticisms he felt must
oe rising against mm.
"Don'r think because I've spent four
years in prison under the sternest discipline
the world offers, and have
never been a seaman before, that I'm
not fitted to espouse your cause. Ity
Heaven, I am?I am?I am! I know
the wrongs you've suffered. I've
snielled the water you drink. I've
tasted the rotten meat. I've seen the
honest seaman who has been for years
upon the main?I've seen the scars
upon his back got from a brutal officer
??. ? Hi... t.ir. lilfT n idli tr> do and
flogged him for not doing it. I know
of men who, fevered with bad food,
1 have fallen, from the main masthead,
or have slipped overboard, glad to go.
because of the wrongs they've suffered,
"I'll tell you what our fate will be,
and then I'll put a question to you. We
must either give up our stock of provisions
or run for It. I'arker and the
other Delegates proclaim their com
ENS
PARKER
I first t<? last. There's been one jrood
thins: about it only?we've p>t order
I witliinn erue.itv. we've reltelled without
i ravageniont; hut we've missed the
way. and we didn't deal with the admiralty
commissioners as we ought. So
I'm for joining up with the captain
here"?lie waved a hand toward Dyck
?"and making for open sen. As sure
as God's above they'll try to hammer
us; hut it's tiie only way."
He held a handkerchief?a dirty, red
silk thing.
"See," he continued, "the wind is
right to take us out. The other ships
won't know what we're going to do until
we start. I'm for getting off. I'm a
pressed man. I haven't seen my girl
for five years, and they won't let me
free in port to go and see her. Nothing
can he worse than what we have to
suffer now, so let's make n break for
it. That's what I say. Come, now,
lads, three cheers lor Captain Calhoun
!"
A half-hour later, on the captain's
deck, Dyck gave the order to pass eastward.
It was sunset when they started.
and they had not gone a thousand
yards before some of the inutineerlng
ships opened tire on the Ariadne. The
breeze was good, however, and she
sailed bravely through the leaden
storm. Once?twice?thrice she was
hit, hut she sped on. By daylight the
Ariadne was well away from the land.
The first thing Dyck had done, after j
escaping from the river, wns to study
the wants of the Arindne and make an
estimate for the future with Greenock,
the master. He calculated they hnd
food and water enough to last for
three months, even with liberal provisioning.
Going among the crew, he
realized there was no depression
among them; thnt they seemed to care
little where they were going. It was,
however, quite clear they wished to
tight?to fight the enemies of England.
Perhaps no mutineer in the history
of the world ever succeeded, as did
Dyck Calhoun, in holding control over
fellow-mutineers on the Journey from
the English channel to the Caribbean
sea. As a boy Dyck hnd been an expert
sailor, had studied the machinery
of a man-of-war, and ids Jove of the
sea was innate and deep-seated; hut
his present success wns based upon
more than experience. Quite apart
from the honor of his nature, prison
hnd deepened In him the hatred of injustice.
In soul he wns bitter; in body
he wns healthy, powerful and sane.
Slowly, sternly, yet tactfully, he had
broken down the many customs of ship
life Injurious to the welfare of the
men. Under his system the sailors
had good coffee for breakfast, instead
of a horrible mixture made of burnt
biscuits cooked In foul water. He gave
i the men pea soup and rice Instead or
burgoo and the wretched oatmeal mess
which was the staple thinp for breakfast.
He saw to It that the meat was
no lonper a hateful, repulsive mass.
two-thirds bone and pristle, and before
> it came into the cook's hands capable
> of beinp polished like mahopnny. He
, threatened the cook with punishment
i if he found the meals ill-cooked.
Of the common sailors, on the whole.
Dyck had little doubt. He had Informed
them that, whatever happened,
they should not be in danper; that the
ship should not join the West Indian
fleet unless every man except himself
received amnesty. If the amnesty was
not pranted. then one of two things
i should happen?the ship must make
for a South American port, or she must
| fight. Fighting would not frighten
I these men.
E?
I
?
as the weeks that had passed since
they left the Thames had given them
hotter food and drink, and lessened
the severity of those above them, real
obedience had come.
It was not strange that the ship ran
well, for all the officers under the new
conditions, except Dyck himself, had
had previous experience. The old lieutenants
had gone, but midshipmen,
who In any case were trained, had
taken their places. The rest of the
ship's staff were the same, except the
captain; and as Dyck had made a
friend of Greenock the master, a man
of glumness, the days were peaceful
enough during the voyage to the Caribbean
sen.
mi * *4 ? nKAMt* nof nf
ine majority s?w mm cicij ??.,
Dyck had proved him just and capable.
He had rigidly insisted on pun practice;
he had keyed up the marines to
a better spirit, and churlishness had
been promptly punished. He was, In
effect, what the sailors called a
"ropue," or a "taut one"?seldom
smlllnp, pnunt of face but fearless of
eye. and with a body free from fatipue.
As the weather grew warmer nnd
the days longer, and they drew near to
the coast of Jamaica, a stir of excitement
was shown.
"You'd like to know what I'm going
to do, Michael, I suppose?" said Dyck
one morning, as he drank *his coffee
nnd watched the sun creeping up the
sky. "Well, in three days we shall
know what's to become of us, nnd I
have no doubt or fear. This ship's a
rebel, but it's returning to duty. We've
shown them how a ship can be run
with pood food nnd drink and fair dealing,
nnd, please God, we'll have some
work to do now that belongs to u manof-war!"
"Sir, I know what you mean to do."
replied Michael. "You mean to pet
all of us off by giving yourself up."
"Well, some one has to pay for what
we've done, Michael." A dark, ruthless
light came into Dyck's eyes.
"Some one's got to pay." A grim smile
crossed his face. "We've done the forbidden
thing; we've mutinied and taken
to the open sen. We were fired on by
the other mutiny ships, nnd that will
help our sailors, but it won't help me.
I'm the lender. We ought, of course,
to have taken refuge with the nearest
squadron of the king's ships. Well, I've
run my luck, and I'll have to pay."
He scratched his chin with a thumbnail?a
permanent physical trait. "You
see, the government has pardoned all
the sailors, nnd will hnng only tilt*
lenders. I expect Parker is hung al.......i?
Woii I'm the |pnd(>i on the
Ariadne. I'm taking this ship straight
to his majesty's West Indian fleet, in
thorough discipline, and I'll hand it
over well found, well manned, well officered.
on condition that all go free
except myself. I came aboard a common
sailor, a quota man, a prisonbird,
penniless. Well, have I shown
that I can run a ship? Have I learned
the game of control? During the
weeks we've been, at sen, bursting
along, have I proved myself?"
Michael smiled.
"What did I say to you the first
night on board, sir? Didn't I say
they'd make an officer of you when
they found out what brains you had?
By St. Patrick, you've made yourself
cnptnin with the good-will of all, and
your irort hand has held the thing together.
"You've got a great head, too,
sir!"
Dyefc looked at him with a face In
whleh the far future showed.
"Michael. I've been lucky. I've been
"well served. It "'as a great thing,
making the new lieutenants from the
midshipmen. There never was a better
lot on board a ship."
Before the day was over the whole
ship was alive with anticipation, for,
in the far distance, could lie seen the
(.'ark Idue and purplish shadows which
f"l*1 1. n n?l tltiu hl*rtiif?ht tllP
minds of all to the end of their journey,
with thoughts of the crisis near.
Word had been passed that all on
hoard were considered safe?all except
the captain who had maneuvered
them to the entrance of the Caribbean
sea. Had he been of their own origin,
they would not have placed so much
credence in the rumor; but coming as
he did of an ancient Irish family, although
he had been In jail for killing,
the traditional respect for the word
of a gentleman influenced thetn. When
a man like Kerens, on the one hand,
and a mutineer whose lingers had
been mutilated by Dyck in the channel,
on the other?when these agreed
to bend themselves to the rule of a
usurper, some idea of Calhoun's power
may be got.
On this day, with the glimmer of
land in the far distance, the charges
of all the guns were renewed. Also
word was passed that at any moment
tlie ship must be cleared for action.
Down in the cockpit the tables were
got ready by the surgeon and tlie loblolly
boys; the magazines were opened,
and the guards were put on duty.
To the right of the Ariadne was the
coast of Cuba; to the left was the
coast of Haiti, both invisible to the
eye. Although the knowledge that
they were Hearing land had already
given the officers 1111(1 men a feeling of
elation. tlu' ft't'lliifr was greatly intensified
as they came through the TurtIsland
passage, which is a kind of
gateway to tlu* Windward passage between
Cuba and Haiti. The glory of
the sunny, tropical world was upon the
ship and upon the sea; it crept into
the blood of every man. and the sweet
summer weather gave confidence to
their minds. It was a day which only
those who knew tropical and semitropical
seas can understand. It had
the sense of soaking luxury.
In his cabin, with the ship's chart
on the table before him. I>yek Calhoun
studied the course of the Ariadne. The
wind was fair and good, the sen-birds
hovered overhead. From a distant
lulhor
The Seats of tfc
"The Right o
<
part of the ship came the sound of
men's voices in song. "Well, what is
it?" lie asked of u marine who appeared
in his doorway.
"The master of the ship begs to see
' you, sir," was the reply,
i A moment afterward Greenock en[
tered. lie asked Dyck several ques|
tions concerning the possible fighting,
the disposition of ammunition and all
that, and said at last:
"I think we shall lie of use, sir. The
| ship's all right now."
"As right us anything human can be.
I've got faith In my star, master."
A light euine into the other man's
dour face.
"I wish you'd get Into uniform, sir."
"Uniform? No, Greenock! No, I
use the borrowed power, hut not the
borrowed clothes. I'm a common sailor,
and I wear the common sailor's
clothes. You've earned your uniform,
and it suits you. Stick to it; and when
I've earned a captain's uniform I'll
It- T Atrn VA11 tho CiiPPOQS nf this
voyage so far, and my heart is full of
It, up to the brim. Hark, what's that?"
"By God, it's guns, sir! There's
fighting on!"
"Fighting!"
Dyck stood for n minute with head
thrust forward, eyes fixed upon the
distant mists ahead. The rumble of
the guns came faintly through the air.
An exultant look came into his face.
"Master, the game's with us?it is
fighting! I know the difference beDyck
Calhoun Could See the Struggle
Going On.
tween the two sets of guns, English
and French. Listen?that quick, spasmodic
firing Is French; the steady-asthunder
Is English. Well, we've got
all sail on. Now, make ready the ship
for fighting!"
"She's almost ready, sir."
An hour later the light mist had
risen, and almost suddenly the Ariadne
seemed to come into the field of battie.
Dyck Cnlhoun could see the struggle
going on. The two sets of enemy
ships had come to close quarters, and
in some cases were locked in deudly
conllict. In other cases ships, still
apart, fired at point-blank range, and
Jill the horrors of slaughter were in
full swing.
From the square blue flag at the
mizzen topgallant masthead of one of
the British ships engaged. Dyck
realized that the admiral's own craft
was in some peril. He saw with satisfaction
that the way lay open for the
Ariadne to bear down upon the French
ship, engaged with the admiral's small
ship, and help to end the struggle successfully
for the British cause.
While still too far away for pointhlank
range, the Ariadne's guns began
upon the French ships distinguishable
by their shape and their colors.
Before the first shot was fired, however,
Dyck made a tour of the decks
and gave some word of cheer to the
men. The Ariadne lost no time In getting
Into the thick of the fight. The
seamen were stripped to the waist,
and blnck silk handkerchiefs were
tightly hound round their lieuds and
over their ears.
What the French thought of the
coming of the Ariadne was shown by
the reply they made presently to her
firing. The number of French ships
in action was greater than the British
I by six, and the Ariadne arrived just
when she could be of greatest service.
The boldness of her seamanship, and
the favor of the wind, gave her an advantage
which good fortune helped to
! Justify.
As she drew in upon the action, she
j gave herself up to great danger; she
was coming in upon the rear of the
French ships, and was subject to tierc*1
attack. To the French she seented
like a fugitive warrior returning to
camp just when lie was most needed,
as was indeed the case. Two of her
shots settled one of the enemy's ves1
sels; and before the others could converge
upon her. she had crawled slowly
up against the off side of the French
admiral's ship, which was closely engaged
with the Beatitude, the British
.1?..I.in .. > ilu, <ithi>r side
The canister, chain-shot and lanprel
<>f the French foe had caused much injury
to the Ariadne, and her canvas
was in a sore plight. Fifty of her seamen
had been killed, and a hundred
and fifty were wounded by the time
she readied the starboard side of the
Aquitaine. She would have lost runny
more were it not that her onset de;
moralized the French (runners, while
; the cheers of the British sailors aboard
the Beatitude pave confidence to their
mutineer comrades.
On his own deck, Dyck watched the
progress of the battle with the Joy of
?f
le Mighty"
f Way"
Copyright by Sir Gilbert Parker
a natural lighter. Lie laid carried the
thing to an almost Impossible success.
There laid only been this in his favor,
that his was 1111 unexpected entrance?
a fact which had been worth another
ship at lenst. He saw his hoarders
struggle for the Aquitaine. He saw
them discharge tiieir pistols, and then ,
resort to the cutlass and the dagger;
and the marines bringing down their
victims from the masts of the French
ling-ship.
Presently he heard the savagely 1
buoyant shouts of the Beatitude men,
and he realized that, by his coming, '
the admiral of the French lleet hud
been obliged to yield up his sword, and (
to signal to his ships?such as could?
to get away. Tlint half of tliera sue- ^
ceeded in doing so was due to the fact ^
that the British fleet had been heavily
Imndlnd ifi th*> fli'lif and would have
been defeated hud it not been for the
opportune arrival of the Ariadne.
Never, perhaps, in the history of the ;
navy, had British ships clamped the
enemy as the Aquitnine was clamped
by the Beatitude and the Ariadne.
Certain it is that no admiral of the (
British lleet had ever to perform two
such acts in one day as receiving the
submission of a French admiral und ,
offering thanks to the captain of a t
British man of war whom, while t
thanking, he must at once place uu- j
der arrest as a mutineer.
What might have chanced further to
Dyck's disadvantage can never be
^known. because there appeared on the 1
deck of the Beatitude, as its cnptaln
under the rear admiral, Captain Ivy, t
who, five years before, had visited 1
Dyck and his father at I'laymore, and
had gone with them to Dublin. (
The admiral had sent word to thf 1
Ariadne for Its cnptaln to come to the
Beatitude. When the captain's gig
arrived, and a man in seaman's
clothes essayed to climb the side of '
the flagship, he was at first prevented. <
Captain Ivy. however, Immediately
gave orders for Dyck to be admitted,
but without honors.
t
r=============~| i
"You've done quite well Mr.
Calhoun, but my instruction*
were to hang you."
(TO BE CONTINUED.)
MUST PROPOSE AMID NOISE
Curious Marriage Custom That Still
Prevails in Some of the Norwegian
Districts.
Along the fjords of Norway the old
customs are fust dying out, Just as
they ?eem swiftly to be passing In
every other country of modern Europe.
But In some of the fjord sections one
may still witness n few of the old
customs In all their ancient charm, and
sometimes their oldtime whimsicality
and love of rough piny?for instance.
In what happens when a young man
proposes and during the wedding ceremony.
,11 Af Irnnum nc? Qnorn It hflQ
Ill tilt? Ul.'Mlltl nin/Mii UO ?. ...w
been the custom for generations for
the boys of the country-side to keep
such close wntch on their brothers
that they know Just when one Is going
to ask his sweetheart's parents for
her hand. Hardly has the young man
entered the house than from every side
comes the roar of small cannon and
the rattle of rifles flrod In the air,
and the ringing of bells and blowing
of horns.
The day of the wedding, however,
the bridegroom's old friends flock to
his side nnd playfully endeavor to
keep his courage high. That neither
he nor the bride escapes without due :
share of teasing is clear In the fact 1
that sometimes as many as\200 guests
are at the wedding, and that the festivities
may Inst an entire week.
The day when the nuptials are to be
celebrated the bride and bridegroom, 1
their parents nnd other relatives and 1
the guests form In line. Headed by <
the fiddler they march to the doors of {
the church. It has happened that two 1
or even three wedding parties meet
either on the way or at the church.
Then there is a notable competition
between the fiddlers. Each tries to ;
outdo the other.?Temple Manning
in the Cleveland Plain Dealer. <
I
POLO PLAYED FOR CENTURIES
Game Is Known to Have Been In Ex- '
istence for More Than Two
Thousand Years. 1
During Its existence of more than
two thousand years ,here have been
twelve varieties of the game of polo.
The earliest form known was priml- '
five, consisting of feats of horseman- 1
ship and skill. The early Persian form
described in Slinmnna was a highly '
organized game with rules, played by '
four on each side. In Persia, in the
| Sixteenth century, the grounds were
:iUO by 170 yards, and the play resembled
the rough football of the same (
period in England. This game became y
more highly organized in the next
; century. 1
The Byzantine form played at Con- '
j stantinople in the "Velfth century
i used a leather ball the size of an apple
! and a racquet. The Chinese game, in
I vogue about 000 A. I)., was played 1
j with a light wooden ball. The Jap|
nnese form, popular in feudal times,
still survives under the name of dakin,
or hall match. '
In an ancient Indian variety the 1
sides are ranged tip on opposite ends
of the grounds and the ball is thrown
in. This is probably the form of the (
game wuich reached India from Persia (
and is represented today by Manlpur
and Gilglt polo, though these forms are ,
i rougher than the old Indian game.
JUST A
LITTLE
SMILE
GREEN, ALL RIGHT.
A rather green looking chap went
into one of our department stores the
Dther day and, sauntering up to the
counter, where dozens of men's caps
were displayed, he looked carefully
through the stock, but seemed unable
to find what he wanted.
"Just what kind of a cap are you
looking for?" uskcd the salesman at
length.
"Well, said the youth. 'I bought me
[i motorcycle the other day, and I
thought I'd like one of those caps with
i peek ut the back."?Boston Trnnjcript.
Hia Gain.
"She declined to marry him after
ill."
"I suppose he's heartbroken."
"I don't think so. lie says things
vorked out all right. He asked for
i raise in pay. thinking he was about
o get married, and received it, und so
ie's that much ahead of the game."
Argument Didn't Work.
Wife?What did you mean by klssng
Charlotte in the hall?
Professor?Did I? Really, I do not
enow a thing about It?I must have
)een absent-minded when I did It?
Wife?Huh! It's very seldom yon
ire so absent-minded toward me!?
\asper (Stockholm).
A Clear Distinction.
"The Blanks and the Browns are
>oth newly rich, but they don't associate."
"Why not?"
m ?? a. -1
j.ne iiinnKs ieei auuve um
3rowns. They made their money In
eflned sugar, while the Browns made
heirs In crude oil."
SUCH IS LIFE
He: I've spent fifteen unhappy
years with you.
She: Yes, but you've never spent
many unhappy dollars on me.
The Vamp. |
A vampire hath a gaze Intense,
She doesn't think or read much.
Some say she has but little senseBut
then she doesn't need much.
Why We Snorted.
We sat Ir. front of them at the
.heater. It was during the tense minute
of the play when the heroine waa
about to part forever from her sweetheart
:
"Say," said the woman behind us
to her friend: "Do you break many
dishes? You know I'm awt'ully unlucky
that way."
?????? i'i '
A Discouraging Impression.
"People don't read Dickens as much
as they used to."
"So," replied Miss Cayenne. "The
illustrations in most Dickens publications
discourage a reader at the outset.
They show people whose clothes
are so terribly out of style."
No Self-Flattery.
"Are you a servant of the people?"
"No," replied Senator Sorghum; "1
don't feel that way about It. While I
enlov a fair measure of confidence and
esteem, nobody thinks of making the
complimentary fuss over me that Is
made over a good servant."
Relatively Safe.
"You are as safe in an airship as
rou are on the ground."
"Maybe I am," replied the patient
?iti7.en. "I live in a town where they
lave grade crossings."
Information.
Autolst?Where do these two roads
ead to?
Farmer?Well, you see, this here
oad lends to my house, and the other
:oes strnight ahead!
Cheering Thought.
He (gloomily)?"I'm afraid It's no y
use; your father has such nn aversion
fo me."
She?"Don't worry, dear. He has a
stlU greater aversion to paying my
Jills."
No More Efficient.
Orator?When I was in Africa 1
liscovered a tribe whose husbands all
yore rings in their noses.
Heckler?And were they led round
iny easier than the rest of us??TltUts.
No Room for Question.
"Your husband plays curds a great
leal."
"Yes," snld young Mrs. Torklns.
i.t? Ka o Kramlvi'lnnPr?"
1? lie 44 I"
"lie was last night. They used
crackers and ginger snaps for poker
hips."
Preparatory Training.
"Johnny," said the teacher reprovngly.
"you misspelled most of the
,\ords in your composition."
"Yes'm, I'm going to be a dialect
vritor."