t , v >
1MB v iv'/ *r? v-.; #
Oh, You Qwan, Albert.
, "What hare you In the package In
year pocket, Albert?" asked his wife,
as Albert wiped the snow from his
Am on the rug In front of the door,
ramered his steam-covered spectacles,
chafed his frosty ears with his numb
Angers and laid his Icy cheek tenderly
against his wife's neck.
,"WeII. Ill tell you. Marie, being's It's
pad It Is who asks. You've often heard
af the proverbial pocket In a shirt,
ha veal you? I thounrht ?n tm? u I
something different. It's a shirt in a
packet."
GL B. Helms of Philadelphia wants
esmpulsory naturalization of all aliens
ta America.
A Message
YOU know the real human doc tort
the doctors made of flesh and t
souls and hearts: those men wh
deed of night as readily as in th
to tell yon the good that Fletcher'
wU do, from theft experience and the
Fletcher's Caatoria is nothing
trj an experiment. We just want t
ec buying Fletcher's.
Your physician will tell yon tl
tor of imitations on the market, a
tto welfare of your baby.
Boralne k..? ? ?*
For MALARIA, CHILIS and FEVER.
The Kaiser In Indiana.
William I>. Kilter of the Farmers
nil Merchants' hunk of Winchester
was riding in his automobile when he
met Mrs. A. L. Nichols, wife of Alonzo
Nichols, candidate for Judge of the appellate
court from this district. Accompanying
Mrs. Nichols was her
grandson, four years old. When the
two met, Mth. Nichols said :"How do
you do, Mr. Klzer." As soon ns lie
rtrald soenk th?> fnilr-v??n-nl.l milH
SJrandinn. Is (liut til** kaiser?"?Indianapolis
News.
. Growa'a TwtritM chill Toalc
aattuia ih? malarial prnii which arw tranamlttod
to (ha wood b j kha Malaria Muaqnito. FrlowOOo.
It*a u mighty poor sport who won't
jdajr tin* game according to the rules.
Japan has 13,000,000 men of army
Me.
I Packers'
I Are Re;
Ijgj The public shoi
ljjr the profits of the ]
? limited by the Fo
since November 1, 1
I I pose, the business o
|p is now divided into 1
oj|Class 1 includes su<
|f: pork, mutton,
Bp others that are
tUii.:?; products. Pro!
?jjl- per cent of the <
k | ! theae depart mei
wj ~ | plus and borrov
Rut to exceed two a
each dollar of sj
Class 2 includes
Ifip fertilizer, and i
OflKl more or less a
H| meat business.
gj| j partments are ii
m|i| outside busines
Bffcjjj are not limited.
iiSy are restricted tc
Sjiy capital employe
Li|; ; Class 3 includes ou
g{(;.; such as those i
I the operation ol
foreign countric
class are not lin
Total profits f<
together in 1918
between three and
an increased volumt
The restriction
Kg antee a reasonable
Hg live stock prices ar
B| prices, because the
Bis not possibly avera
fraction of a cent pe
Since the profit!
K| are running only ab
Wy dollar of sales, we 1
By the profits from s<
Ha (Class 2, also limited
El ments, (Class 3) to
Hrc| earnings on capital.
Big Swift & Comp
BBS its business so as to
H limitations.
I Swift & Com]
j^B^^BMMHMHBBHHBHHPHHHBBHHHBHH^I
* '
All In th? Day's Work.
An English Tommy or a French Pollu
still has a heart of Invincible stoutness
; but in his fighting he has become
like the famous Baron Vere: "Had
one seen him returning from a victory
one would by his silence have suspected
that he had lost the day! and
had he beheld him In a retreut he
would have deemed him a conqueror
by the cheerfulness of his spirit." For
them it Is all in the day's work.?Elisabeth
Frnzer In the Saturduy Evening
Post.
Life of a Zoo Elephant.
Zoo Visitor?"What's the average
life of a *oo elephunt?" Attendant?
"Just one dang peannt after another."
to Mothers
i right around in your neighborhood I
dood just like yon: the doctors with
i0 are responding to your call in the
e broad daylight; they are ready
b Castoria has done, is doing and
Ir love for children.
new. We are not asking you to
o impress upon you the importance
lis, as he knows there are a nomad
he is particularly interested in
^nature of
xH@Kin
>LD FOR SO YEARS.
ALSO A riNC GENERAL STRENGTHEN'
ING TONIC. Sold by All Drag Store*
Blame* for Women.
One of the speakers at the retail
tradesmen school ait the Astor house
In New York predicted that . men's
neckties would run to glaring colors
next season. Like all men, since the
days of Adum, he laid the odium upon
the women, so many of. whom have
taken the places of men clerks. These
women, he says, nre hound to show the
young man who comes to buy the pink
and glaring blue "creations" and they,
of course, cannot dispute tip- opinion
taht such colors ure Just their style,
nnd so having bought will have to
wear the guy neckties.
IA U I ?
i iMiiuiny m\ iu mm.
"Ad," said Eve, coyly, as she winked
at the snake unbeknownst to Adam,
"you are the one itiuii In the world
for me.'" Then she handed him the
apple.
' Profits j j
emulated
ild understand that
packers have been
od Administration
917. For this purf
Swift & Company
three classes:
:h products as beef,
oleomargarine and
i essentially animal
its are limited to 9
:apital employed in
nts, (including surved
money), or not
nd a half cents on
ties.
the soap, glue,
other departments
ssociated with the
Many of these de- |
n competition with jj}||
ses whose profits I II
Profits in this class j
> 15 per cent of the i| j
itside investments, ! i
n stock yards, and j j;
f packing plants in ; jj
rs. Profits in this | ij
lited. jj
3r all departments i!j
will probably be
four per cent on [I
i of sales. j| j
s absolutely guar- I
relation between || H
u VI1IUICJOIC I1JCOI jllll
packer's profit can- |j
ge more than a jl
r pound of product. I
5 on meat (Class 1) jj!
out 2 cents on each ill
lave to depend on Sjj
oap, glue, fertilizer jj
I) and other departi
obtain reasonable j||
any is conducting ' HI
come within these jj 11
pany, U. S A. | |
U and instantly the room is U
HI flooded with a brilliant H|
l|| light. This convenience is III
mil possible in your home, UK
|t|fl barns and sheds with ulL
| DELCO-LIGHT |
Ul This complete electric W
S lighting plant will supply H
Ul all the light you require; III
III also ample power for the M|
Hlfl churn, cream separator, HI
rrf washing machine, etc. Pays Q
M for itself in a very short Bin
I! ' ^0me ^ ^
mem
E Good for Malaria, constipation 3
E biliousness ?a fine tonic. 9
i, Guaranteed or money back I
| A?K your dt'aWr
| Bchrons Dru( Co.. Waco.Tex. (fl
W. N. U., CHARLOTTE, NO. 35 -1918.
FIND HUMOR IN AD COLUMNS
Notices Not Intended to Be Funny, but 1
Are Made So by Their Peculiar
Wording.
Advertisements arc vagarious tilings
sometimes, as, for example, these,
which were all actually printed: "A
respectuhle young wotaua wants washing."
"1 will make coats, cups, und
bous for ladles out of their owu skins."
I ? .... - *
< vwuii uu infrsirr wno can unit* cure
of r.,?KM) sheep who can speak French
fluently." "Wunted?A girl who can
cook ; one that will make a good stew."
"1 wunt a husband with a strong Houinn
nose with strong religious tendencies."
"I will sell a tlddle of old
wood I made out of my own head and
have wood left enough for another."
"For Sale?A small stock of the same
whisky drunk hy Ids majesty on his
recent, visit to Dublin." "One hundred
dollars' reward for the recovery of the
body of Hale Short, drowned in the
river on the night of the 17th. The
body can he recognized hy the fact
that Short had an impediment In his
speech."
GIRLSl USE LEMONS
FOR SUNBURN, TAN :
Try Itl Make this lemon lotion
to whiten your tanned or
freckled akin.
Squeeze the Juice of two lentous Into
a bottle containing '.hree ounces of
Orchard White, shake well, and you
have a quarter pint of.the best freckle,
sunburn and tan lotion, and complexinn
whltener, nt very, very small cost.
Your grocer has the lemons and uny
drug store or toilet counter will supply
three ounces of Orchard White for a
few cents. Massage this sweetly fragrant
lotion Into the face, neck, arms
and hands and see how quickly the
freckles, sunburn, windhurn and tan
disappear and how clear, soft and
white the skin becomes. Yes! It Is
harmless.?Adv.
All Verger Cared About.
The late Isiril Alverstone's love of
music made him for many years a
member of the choir at Kensington
parish church. A good maiiv curious
folk unit to Sim* tin- unusual spectacle
of an attorney general In a surplice,
hut were not always utile to identify
111 in.
tine of these visitors asked the verier
\\ liieh of I lie eholriiien was the attorney
general, and received the dignified
reply: '
Thill's the vicar, them's the curates,
I'm the verger, and so long as
the choir gives satisfaction It's not
my business to inquire into the antecedents
of any of 'em."?London
Chronicle.
Stomach Trouble* and Pysentary
canard (r <u> l>rln*lng |co Walor <<J from sleeping
? -r ? ...... nuumu uv ruccirq inimruiatair
I,Hi a bottla of UKOVHS HiHT HOW ML
MHPICINH, a aafa and aura mmody for Hdodm
irlarrboeaa. It la Juat aa affeoUva 'or AdalU aa for
Child ran.
Poverty Is no ilistcrure if you've
spoill your money for war purposes.
Alaska fishery prmluots for 1917
were valued at $r?l,40r>.2<?o.
When Your Eyes Need Care
Try Murine Eve Remedy
?lo Smarting ? Juii K;n Comfort. 8U canta ah
irugalau or mull. Wrlta for Kraa Bya Booh.
UCK1NK 1CYK KKMKOY CO..CHICAGO
THE JOY OF
MOTHERHOOD
Came to this Woman after
Taking Lydia E. Pinkham's ,
Vegetable Compound to
Restore Her Health
Ellensburg, Wtah.?" Aftur I vm
married 1 was not well for a lonsr time
Hand a good deal of
the time waa not
able to go about.
Our greatest desire
was to have a child
in our home and one
day my huaband
came back from
town with a bottle
of Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable
Compound and
wanted me to try it |
It brought relief |
' ? from my troubles. ;
I improved in health so I could do my ,
housework; we now have a little one, ail I
of which I owe to Lydia E. Pinkham'e
Vegetable Compound."? Mrs. O. S.
Johnson, R. No. 3, Ellensburg, Wash.
There are women everywhere who I
long for children in their homes yet are
denied this happiness on account of i
some functional disorder which in most
cases would readily yield to Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Such women should not give up bona
Until they have given this wonderful
medicine a trial, and for special advice
write Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine Co.,
Lynn, Mass. The result of 40 yean
experience is at your service.
VGBH
11 Will reduce Inflamed, Strained,
11 Swollen Tendons. Llsraments.
| %M or Muscles. Stops the lamenessutd
| A pain from a Splint, Side Bone or
y Bone Spavin. No blister, no hair
gone and horse can be used. $2. SO a
fVa bottle at druggists or delivered. Describe
your case for special instructions
and interesting horse Book 2 R Free, i
ABSORBINE, JR.,theantiseptic linimentfor
mankind, reduces Strained, Torn Liga- '
tnenta. Swollen Glands. Veins or Muscles;
Heels Cuts. Sores. Ulcers. Allays pain, Pries .
SI.21 sboTtlrat dealers or delircrcd. Book "Erldencs" Ires.
W. F. TOUHG. r. D. F, 310 Tcmpls Strest, SprlnplsM, Hut.
ent yanr grocery bill In half. Have plenty to eat, 1
and get well and keep well, which the Uovernment
want* everyone to dn In order to be efficient In all
things and accomplish their rightful desires. This
man has been trained at a big expense for the express
purpose of showing yon how. For fall Infor(nation
address ten rent stamp to Kat for Health
and Efficiency Man. Plalnflcd. Indiana
Clear Your Skin
While Yoa Sleep
with Cuticura P
All druggists i Soap 26. Ointment S A 60, Talcum 25.
Sample eaoh free of "OaMsara. Dot. E. Bottom"
MOST GOLFERS 1"ILL SAY SO
Only One Classification for Player
Who Would Make Such a
Claim as That. I
"Pa." .said Tommy, who had raddled
one afternoon at one of the golf rlulis. ]
"is a man a good golfer If he knocks j ,
the hall one hundred and twenty-five (
yartls?"
".Inst n novice, my son." I
"Well. If he knocks the hull two hull- |
dretl and fifty yards?"
"Mlirlttv mmfl ' Ho'u tttliplsif
, . ... c
If he rim do that, my boy." I
"Well, pa, what If he knocks it two |
hundred and seventy-five yards?" I
"He's a splendid player. Tommy." | ,
replied pa, as lie once more fastened
his eye on the newspaper.
"Well, pa, what If he knocked the j
hall three hundred and twenty-tlve j (
yards?what would he he then?" | ,
"I'robnhly a liar, my son. Now you ; <
had better kiss mamma and go to lied." j ,
Sure to Miss Him.
Father was sitting in tlu den taking !
a peaceful smoke, when there came j
from the parlor a noise that sounded 1
like a cross between the sigh of a pine ! ,
tree and the wall of a locomotive. With
something akin to strong language he
rose and went downstairs. In the hall
he met his daughter.
"Say, Bessie," queried the old man.
"what Is the ugltation In the parlor?"
"Charley." was the response of
Bessie. "He Is singing 'I Wonder If
lie Will Miss Me?'"
"Yes," answered dad, regretfully. "1 !
can't see to shoot straight at night, ,
nd I am too rheumatic to kick."
Quite Natural.
"Some of the chiefs of the departnents
are very pompous."
"Yes, hut then It Is In order for
official bureaus to have big nobs."
flermnny uses sand as soap suhstl
t UltT.
3^3 ^5**// jw
? [1
cjf\c Wear and
Tear on that boy
ot yours during
the active years
of childhood and
youth necessitates
a real building food.
Grape-Nuts
supplies the
essentials for
vigorous minds I
and bodies at I
any age. I
"There's a Peasorf* I
Ka* 1
f
a run n nnrcw'T I
n vuihw uvluii i
LAUGH AND PLAY
IF CONSTIPATED
LOOK, MOTHER! IS TONGUE
COATED. BREATH FEVERI8H
AND 8TOMACH 80UR?
CALIFORNIA SYRUP OP FIQB"
CANT HARM TENDER 8TOMACH,
LIVER, BOWEL8.
tomorrow. Children simply will not |
tuke the time from play to empty their i
bowels, which become clogged up with x
wnste, liver gets sluggish, stomach ?
sour. j ,
Look at the tongue, mother! If ,
coated, or your child Is listless, cross, ;
feverish, breath bad, restless, doesn't x
ent h?*artlly. full of cold or has sore
throat or any other children's all- ,
ment, give a teaspoonful of "Call- |
fornla Syrup of Figs," then don't x
worry, because It Is perfectly ha ridless,
and In a few hours nil this constipation
poison, sour bile and fer- ,
mentlng waste will gently move out of |
the bowels, aud you have a well, play- <
ful child aguln. A thorough "Inside
cleansing" Is oftlmes all that Is neces-'
sary. It should be the first treatment
given In any sickness. I ,
Beware of counterfeit fig syrups. (
Ask your druggist for a bottle of "Cal- t
lfornla Syrup of Figs," which has
full directions for babies, children of 1
all ages and for grown-ups plainly J
printed on the bottle. Look carefully ,
and see that It Is made by the "Call- j
fornla Fig Syrup Company."?Adv.
RUSSIA NEVER REAL NATION .
Pessimistic Muscovite Explains the <
Trui Situation in thas P n rmar 1
Empire of the Czar. j 1
"We're a nation of artists and sav- 1
ages. You can roach us through our '
feelings?give us a poem, a play, a ]
picture, ami we can Imitate it, or even f
Improve on it. You scud us cannon"? ' 1
He raised both arms helplessly and
dropped them.
"You thought Russia was a huge ]
country. That was a fiction built up ?
l?y the old regime, which meanwhile ,
Intrigued with tJermuuy. As a mat- t
ter of fact, Russia extends for a few <
hundred kilometers, north, south, east 1
ttnd west of Moscow. The rest was a ' J
foreign country, held together by force. '
It might become a federation and grow
Into something like your United States,
hut It never was a nation In the real
sense of the word.
"You think we're a great ngricutlural
country. Another fallacy. We
tuive land, lint no agriculture. Our
peasants dunce on their fields instead
>f fertilizing them.
"Foreigners have been very naive.
They assumed *ve were modern,
strong and capable because of a few
fine things we sent to them. They
read Tolstoi or saf Pavlova and said
Ah!?a great people! They saw
greatness through the entrechat of
some ballerina's legs.' "
Fruit High in Belgium.
You wouldn't want to pay .SI for I
two pounds ami a half of apples,
ivould you? Well, that's the current
price in Belgium, and if you wanted
lhat many russets you would have to
pay up to $1..'10, even though they
would be specked and full of worms
Other fruits have about the same
prices: I'ears, 45 cents apiece; lemons.
30 cents each, ami grapes about $2.50
it pound. Recently at Liege piekled
herring were plai'ed on sale; the ration
was one herring to a person, at
the price of 51 cents apiece.?Belgian
Bulletin.
No Older Than Your Face.
Is true In most cases. Then Keep your
face fair and young with Cutieura
Soap und touches of Cutlcura Ointment
as needed. For free suinples address,
"Cutlcura, Dept. X, Boston."
Sold by druggists and by mall. Soap
25, Ointment 25 and 50.?Adv.
His Luck.
"Did your wife go for you when you
i?ot home last night?"
"Xo; for once 1 was in luck. The
people In the flat next door were hav- I
In a spat and my wife was busy lis
lciiimk. iMtniiin miu*eri|H.
Testimony.
C\?j>?"Folks n?-i their punishment in '
this world. I>im. Kvery criminal I
pver know had several wives.**
Kansas City Is paying six-rent fares
i>n street railways.
Are You Bit
With that gassy, pufi
heart ? For
PA"
FOR V
You can fairly feel It wo
body and
Rmmvm Qaickly?Indices
Get EATONtC from yomr ,
to* IK a?l?" B?A44nm
r
?J> aWli
\ I I I
Just Once! Try D<x
Take No Calorr
If bilious, constipated, hes
relief without takin
which sickens
Stop using calomel! It makes you I
aiplr nnn'f Inoa a rlov*o I# i*ah I
reel lazy, sluggish, bilious or constlpated.
listen to me I
Calomel Is mercury or quicksilver,
which causes necrosis of the bones.
Calomel, when It comes Into contuct
with sour bile, crashes Into It, breaking
it up. This Is when you feel that
awful nausea and cruniplug. If you
are "all knocked out," If your liver is
torpid and bowels constipated or you
have headache, dizziness, coated tongue,
If breath is bud or stuiuaeh sour,
Just try a spoonful of harmless Dodson's
Liver Tone.
Here's my guarantee?Go to any
tlrug store and get a bottle of Dodson's
Liver Tone for a few cents. Take a
spoonful tonight, and If It doesn't
He Got Disgusted.
A letter from my brother In Callforlia
was received three months after
le went to camp. As soon as they
vere in camp they were quarantined
is usual, for ten days. Then a ease
>f smallpox broke out and they were
innrnntined for fifteen days more,
^'ext came measles, for which they
vere again quarantined for the days.
One day before the quarantine for
neasles lifted a boy was sent to the
lospltal with the mumps. Again they
vere quarantined.
My brother wrote home in disgust.
"mh," ni' wrote; "ir tliey get nn tlier
ease of mumps In this place I'll
lever get out till the war's over."?
'liiciipt Tribune.
Dead Easy.
Her?"fan you foretell your future
icttons hy mrtls?" Him?"I can If 1
ateli a glimpse of the other fellow's j
innd."
HAARLEM OIL <
IF YOUI
Do you feel tired and "worn-out?"
Are you nervous and irritable? Don't
sleep well at night? Have a "dragged
lut," unrested feeling when you get
tp In the morning? Dizzy spells? Minus?
Had taste in the mouth, backiche,
pain or soreness in the loins,
md abdomen? Severe distress when
irinuting, bloody, cloudy urine or sedment?
All these Indicate gravel or
stone in the bladder, or that the poisonous
microbes, which are always in
rour system, have attacked your kldjeys.
Yoti should use HOLD MED AD
[Innrlem Oil Capsules immediately.
The oil soaks gently Into the wal's
md lining of the kidneys, and the Iltle
poisonous unltnal germs, which nre
iiuNiiiK nit' innnimnnuon, arc immeilntely
attacked and chased out of
rour system without Inconvenience or
>ain.
NO WORM;
In A Health
All children troubled
healthy color, which indie
rule, there is more or less i
Gro\
Tasteless <
contains just what the blo<
in a form acceptable to tl
and if given regularly for
enrich the blood, improve
general strengthening toi
Nature will then throw off
the child will be in perfect
take. Price 60c.
PERFECTLY HARM
NUX-VOMICA OR OTHEF
When A Genen
ing Tonio is it
Home For
For the Mother
Take
chill;
W Grove's chi
You can now get Grove's
form as well as in Syrup, the kirn
Tablets are intended for those \
rather than a syrup, and as a cc
The tablets are called "GROVE'
contain exactly the same medic
actly the same results as Grove':
put up in bottles. The price of e
oated After Es
Ey feeling, and hurting near 3
Quick Relief?Take ONE
roNic
OUR STOMACH S SAKI
rk. It drives the GAS out
the Bloat goes with it.
tion. Heartburn, Soar Stomach, etc.
Druggiat with that DOUBLE GUARAN
* mmi o?.. iai?-m ??. ah?m. On??<?. nt
dson's Liver Tone!
lei! Listen To Me! m
idachy or sick, I guarantee
g dangerous calomel
and salivates.
straighten you right up and make yon
feel fine and vigorous by uiorning. I
want you to go back to the store and
get your money. Dodson's Liver Ton*
is destroying the sale of calomel because
It Is renl liver medicine; entirely Pjf:
vegetable, therefore it can not salivate
or make you sick.
I guarantee that one spoonful of
Dodson's Liver Tone will put your
sluggish liver to work and clean your \
bowels of that sour bile and eonstlputed
waste which Is clogging your
system and making you feel miserable.
I guarantee that a bottle of Dodson's
Liver Tone will keep the entire family
feeling line for months. Give it to
your children. It Is harmless; doesn't
gripe and they like Its pleusaut tuste.
?Adv.
German War Clubs.
Do they really use clubs in battle?
Yes. they do. The Germans have a
vicious iron-bound club about .'to inches
long, in sl/.e a hit smaller than the
grip end uf a baseball hat. On the \
clubbing end there Is a round Iron
nana wiiu incn-iong spines protruding.
These spikes have sharp points. The
Itritlsh war museum presented our
mission with a half-dozen of these evillooking
weapons. They tit In well with
the caves atul the imuhly treneli borrowings.
That's where they are used
most, too.
Twins.
Two holms met on a blind sidinsr.
One had been a salesman, whose hours
were 10 a. 111. to 4 p. in. The other
one didn't have any money either.?
The Vagabond.
Superior. Wis., lias abolished <50 saloons.
CAPSULES ~
I BACK ACHES
Don't Ignore the "little pains and
aches," especially backaches. They
may be little now but there Is no telling
how soon n dangerous or fatul diseuse
of which they ure the forerunners
may show Itself. Go after the
cause of that backache nt once, or you
may find yourself in the grip of an lucuruble
disease.
Do not delay a minute. Go to your
druggist and Insist on his supplying
you with a box of GOLD MEDAL
Haarlem OH Capsules. In 24 hours
you will feel renewed health and vigor.
After you have cured yourself, con- ,
tinue to take one or two Capsules
each day so as to keep in first-class
condition, and ward off the danger of
future attacks. Money refund e<} If
they do not help you. Ask for the
original Imported GOLD MEDAL
brand, and thus be sure of getting the
genuine.?Adv.
, ?,
s
y Child
with worms have an un-1
ifltes rvrvnr hlooH onH qo a
stomach disturbance.
ve 's
chill Tonic
>d needs, Iron and Quinine
le most delicate stomach
two or three weeks will
the digestion and act as a
lie to the whole system,
or dispel the worms, and
health. It is pleasant to
[LESS. CONTAINS NO'
t POISONOUS DRUGS.
*
a# Strengthendeeded
in the
The Child,
'or the Father,
'a Tasteless
Tonic
it Tonic Tablets
Tasteless chill Tonic in Tablet
d you have always bought. The
vho prefer to swallow a tablet
nvenience for those who travel.
S chill TONIC TABLETS" and
rinal properties and produce exs
Tasteless chill Tonic which is
ither is 60c.