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pppsr- * Partloepe Crlmlnla. feto a Chicago police court,a man was holaj charged with the theft of aa umbrella. * "What have jou to say for yourself V* asked the magistrate. "Are you guilty or not guilty?" . "Well." B?IH tha I am one of the guilty parties. Your Honor. The umbrella had the name of If. Barker on the handle. W. T. Morgan stamped on the Inside of the corer and I stole It from this man here* whose name Is Higglns."^?Case and Comments. It has been said that a man has seven nges. Women are more stable. They have one age and stick to it. What Is CASTORIA Is a harmless subs Drops and Soothing Syrups. Opium. Morphine nor other Hare an tee. For more than thirty years it fa of Constipation, Flatulency, Wind Co ness arising therefrom, and by reg airia th. J ?? MBiuiimuuu U1 IUUUI g The Children's Panacea?The Mother's The Kind You Have Always Bough 80 years, has borne the signature of Chaa his personal supervision since its infant All Counterfeits, Imitations and "Just trifle with and endanger the health of Ir Children?Experience egainst Experim Genuine Castor!? always bears the si* Open-Air Ei Carter's Littl are two sple For Cons If you can't get all the exerc the Saall Pffl othi jmCNmi Tab JKBSr Vittlc wh. Tiver r i pw . slgai CHALKY, COLORLESS CARTER'S 1 i Two of a Kind. Aiuomk the anecdotes of old-time Kngllsh actors is one of the proprietor of a- London theater, who was also an actor of comic parts. On one occasion he gave a member of his company, also a comedian, the customary two 'weeks' notice to quit "Why am I dismissed?" I lie Indignant comedian queried. "Well, you see, Jonesey, you are a bad actor." "So are you," was the quick retort. "Ah!" the manager rejoined, "that's what TV-Is, Jonesey. The public won't stand two of a kind?our kind?so one of us lias to go, and I'm sure that that one isn't me." Never Boasts. One of our able senators was arguing; n momentous naval question with an opponent: "You know I never boast," the opponent remarked during the argument. ' Never boast 1 Bully 1" exclaimed the senator. Then, la a more relleetlve mood, he added, "No wonder you brig about It." NOTHING SO EFFECTIVE AS KLIXIR BABKK For Malaria, Chills * Fever. Chief of Police, J. W. Reynolds, Newport Newa,Va.,savs: "It Is a pleasure to recommend Usbelt for chills and fever. Have used It when neaeanary fortOyrars and havefonud no remedy aa effective." Kllxlr Babrlt V)cents, all drug- > trials, or by Parcel Post, prepaid, from Klocsewskl A Co., Washington, t). O. Good Move?Hsbek Liver Pills.. 50 pills .... ft cents Making It Sure. Prisoner?Listen, judge; I'll stop drinking for a month. Judge?I believe you; thirty days. Experience is a groat teacher, hut by the time it hands a man his diploma he Is too old to make much use >>f his i knowledge. Wrlght'a Indian Vegetable Pllla contain nothing but vegetable Ingredlenta. which act gently aa a tonic and purgative by atlmu- | latlon and not by Irritation. Adv. A forgiving disposition Is th?; llrst law ??f self-preservation. Why Thai Lame Back? Morning lameness, sharp twinges when bending, or un all-day backache; each Is cause enough to suspect kidney trouble. Get after the cause. Help the kidneys. We Americans go It too hard. We overdo, overeat and neglect our sleep and exercise and so we are fast becoming n nation of kidney sufferers. 72% more deaths than In 1S90 is the li>10 census story. Use L>onu's Kidney Pills. Thousands recommend them. A South Carolina Case John M. Alison. R. F. U. No. 1. Traveler s (fMB Rest. S. C., ? a y s : \ "Hardships weakened ,. my kidneys and 1 had / -X\\ awful pa'.ns in my Vt a ? Id back. 1 steadily got VAC crjj d worse and was tcrrl- ffWSH bly annoyed by scald- W 7 J Injr and too rrequont pussuRes of the kid- * ney secretions. Rlieu- *r matlc pains In my hips NHKd kept me awake and my anklea and feot JUtKSKsiiJu swelled. I had awful dizzy st><-iu, too. Doan's Kidney Pills restored mo to good health." Get Dota'i at Aay Store, 60c a Boa DOAN'S WaiV FOSTER-MILBURN CO.. BUFFALO. N. Y. START A MAIL ORDER BUSINESS 1 have thousands of valuable manufactories formalaa to aali at lte aach. IV.mplf.tr list lCc sssvh?a w ast nssii. as. waas, mm feys* r.r? m. . cms** <7 - Barter Shop* far Birds. An Indianapolis mother tells the story of the four-year-old "pride of the household*' who observed a wee bird lying on the sidewalk near their home. It was of course, without feathjersK fcoiftg y-ery young, and had evident ly fallen from ~Itj?" neat "'ainofifr tfc?" boughs of the oak tree above.^"Oh, muwer," said the youngster, "I didn't know they had barber shops for little birds. Look, this one has all been shaved."?Indianapolis News. Undoubtedly. "He's rich and yet he never spends any more than he has to." "That's probably the reason he's rich." Castoria titute for Castor Oil, Paregoric; It Is pleasant. It contains neither otic substance. Its age is its guar* as been in constant use for the relief lie and Diarrhoea; allaying Feverishplating the Stomach and Bowels, riving healthy and natural sleep, i Friend. t^and which has been in use for over . 11. Fletcher, and has been made under :y. Allow no one to deceive you in this. -as-Good" are but Experiments that tfants and /f ierdse and e Liver Pills ndld things itipation ise you should have, its all more important that you have the er tried-and-true remedy for a torliver and bowels which don't act >ly and naturally. ;e one pill every night; more only en you're sure Its necessary. COMPLEXIONS NEED [RON PILLS DON'T FORGET THE HORSE! There Was Another Hero in Wild Midnight Ride of Paul Revere, | Reminds a Writer. 1'uul Uevere's name was inuile Immortal \vli(? he rude from Boston to Lexington and Concord, warning the I patriots along the way of the British approach, and his fame has been se- 1 curely enshrined In the hearts of all Americans. Historians have honored themselves in honoring him. Poets have found in- { splrntlon In praising him. He Is an Idol of childhood, an example In the prime of munhood and a solacing mem- ; ory of old age. How few characters loom up like great peaks above the mountain ranges of time! Ami Vnul Revere was one of these. He wus one of the precious few great i-ii<m?ii iu grasp nn opportunity to do an Incalculable good to mankind. . But while we give deserved glory to Paul Revere, let us no longer forget that there was another hero In that wild midnight ride, says a writer In the Christian Herald. There was the horse. "Any other horse might have done as well," you think? Well, so might any other man have done as well, perhaps. So might we flippantly disparage any hero. Hut the fact remains that It was Paul Revere's horse that did It. And the harder work fell on the horse. But for the true horse's faithfulness, Paul Revere would have lieen a failure. ! Lemons Beautify! | Make Quarter Pint | | of Lotion, Cheap f *+ +** + +** + * Hero Is told how to prepare pn Inexpensive lemon lotion which can he used to bring back to any skin the sweet freshness, softness, whiteness and beauty. The Juice of two fresh lemons strain ed Into a bottle containing three ounces of orchard white makes a whole quarter pint of the most remarkable lemon skin benutlfier at about the cost one must.pay for a small Jar of the ordinary cold creams. Care should be taken to strain the lemon Juice through a fine cloth so no lemon pulp gets in, then this lotion will keep fresh for months. Every woman knows that lemon Juice Is used to blench and remove such blemishes as freckles, snllowness uuu ...... <111.1 It. UK' 1111*111 MKIU SOIlOUer. smoothener and beautlfler. Just try It! Get three ounces of orclinrd white at nny pharmacy and two lemons from the grocer and make up a quarter pint of this sweetly fragrant lemon lotion and massage It daily into the face, neck, arms and hands, and see for yourself. Adv. At the Telephone. "Hello! I want to see Mr. ldggciv at the telephone.** "All right. Come around to his o lice. He's Just using the phona."Baltlmore American. It Is possible for a man to be a fab ure without havlug ever billed. WOMAN S1CK~~ WW wVTIflll vivn TWO YEARS * 4 ' Could Do No Work. Now Strong u t * " Chicago. 111.?"For about two years I suffered from a female trouble so I 1 ^minimum vnautmtowalk or do any of my own work. I read about Lydia E. Pink ham's I Vegetable Compound in the newspapers and determined to try it. It brought almost immediate relief. My m weakness has en tirely disappeared I and I never nad be t 9 ter health. I weigh 166 pounds and am as strong as a man. | I think money is well spent which purchases Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound."?Mrs. Jos. O'Bryan, 1766 ! Newport Ave. Chicago, III. The success of Lyaia E. Pinkham's i IF- a-1.1 ^ " i v evuuuie iximpouna, made from rqota I ana herbs, is unparalleled. It may be used with perfect confidence by women i who suffer from displacements, inflam| mation. ulceration, irregularities, periodic pains, backache, bearing-down feeling. flatulency, indigestion, dizziness, and nervous prostaation. Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound is the standard remedy for female ills. pximc t Good for Malaria, constipation jjl E biliousness ? a fine tonic, n i Guaranteed or money back n X. Ask your dealer 3 E Behrens Dru|f Co..Waco.Tex. Ethel's Note. A woman oil the north side who prides herself on her social position Itl.l ..i.?..... I.... i-?-. -? ? ? - ...... ii.ii 11,13 tm iiiiviuk peneci service In every way for any occasion, was called on recently to give a reception on very short notice to a distinguished club woman who was passing through the city, says the Indianapolis News. All three of her hotfhe servants were gone thnt day and only the cook was at home. "Ethel," she requested her little fiveyear-old daughter, "you go to the door and usher the guests In while I finish my toilet." At first the child objected, but finally she was persuaded to go. The woman went on with her preparation, whleli was Interrupted several times by had luck, the cook, nnd everything else. A woman accustomed to a maid Is rather helpless when It comes to dressing without one. But she heard the guests come in and take chairs In the reception room and she supposed all was well. At last she was ready. doing to the door to find Kthel she wns horrified to read this little printed j note pinned to the back of a chair. "Dere Ladles cum on In main Is upi stares dresing talk nnd sit downe | Kthel." "What Make Is It?" A porty of Frankfort folk spent a recent Sunday (during their pastor's j vacation period) on Sugar creek. One of the imrtv who nHmltu thnt he Is some flshernian, soon land! ed n fine bass. The crowd gathered ! around to admire the fish, when an eight-year-old miss excitingly asked. "What make is It?" Needless to say her father drives a car. and Is not much of a fisherman.?Indianapolis News. You can't tell how well-heeled a man Is by the si/.e of his shoes. Where there's a will there's always ; an heir. & K If you never t aetaH GraVe-Nuts FOOD you have missed one of the good things in life v - -/v ? j ; ' r PAINT NOT A BIT! -j L)FT YOUR CORNS OR CALLUSES OFF I No humbuol Apply row dr.*. . then Just lift them awsy * I - * ???.? ?????. i ?.. . ?? >> ? ?* ? This new drag* is m ether compound discovered by a Cincinnati chemist It Is called freezone, and can J now be obtained In tiny bottles as here shown at very little cost from any drug store. Just ask for ireezone. Apply a drop or two directly upon a tender corn or callus and Instantly the soreness disappears. Shortly you will find the corn or callus so loose that you can lift it off, root and all, with the fingers. Not u twinge of pain, soreness or irritation; not even the slightest smart BwxBiiDg, either when applying i Rltfl freexone or afterwords, jj ill This drag doesn't eat np |1 Ijl the corn or callus, bnt ri Hovels them so they loos* jji, p.]en and come right out. It |j| Pills no humbug 1 It works I Hi like a charm. For a few cents you can get rid of ev* i ery hard corn, soft corn or i corn between the toes, as well as pain- ! ful calluses on bottom of your feet. It never disappoints and never burns, bites or Inflames. If your druggist j hasn't any freezone yet, tell him to get a little bottle for you from his wholesale house.?adv. ORCHID ICE CREAM COMMON ? It Does Not Bear That Aristocratic Title but Goes by the Very Plebeian Name of Vanilla. | Very few of us would ever think of ordering orchid Ice erenm without a little tremor of the pocket book, for everyone knows that the orchid Is the most expensive of flowers., Hut there are thousands of persons who eut orchid Ice cream dally. Although they proftnhly have not been aware of the distinction. It Is none the less a fact. Of course the Ice crcnin is not ordered by the aristocratic name of orchid. On the contrary. It hears the very plehnlno - * HI%V \JIUf t O The Old Standard Grove'# Tasteless chill Tonic is equally valuable as a General Tonic because it contains the well linorvo tonic properties of QUININE and IKON. It acts on the Liver, Drives out t Malaria, Enriches the Blood and Builds I op the Whole System 60 cents j " Dry buttery electric lumps arc ; mounted over a new eye shield to kD'p the wearer light where needed. Pr. Pnry'i "Dead Shot" li powerful but nafr One <1<>#? la tnouich to expel Worm# or Tap*worm. No castor oil neci-aaur> Atlv. When It comes to mistakes the supply always exceeds the demand. ^TTJURfNEt Granulated Eyelids, . ^Sor*EvM. Eves Inflamed by / S'"', Oiutand Wind quickly relieved by Murine. Try It In Yy\? C your Eycssnd in baby's Eyes. IUUR LTL3tfoSaurtfat.J**tEreCo*iort Marine Eye Remedy ] -M Salvo, in Tubas M?. F?.r R'tk of IA< /\i ? froo Atk Marine Bye Remedy Co., Chtcsis. V^IUII 1 lit 11 If T (II >111111111. Then* lire said to be no less than 15.(KX) varieties of orchid scattered over the earth. All of them have the peculiar artificial beauty and the huuntlng odor that seems Inseparable from this flower, which looks nlmost as though It were a product of nn unhealthy condition In nature. Of all these lfi.OOO varieties, only one lias any i practical value, and that Is the one from which vanilla cornea. The plant grows abundantly In South and Centrnl America, and has been transplanted to otber tropical countries, where . It Is now flourishing. r THIS DRU6GIST KN0WS | BEST KIDNEY MFDIT.INF Sixteen years ago I began to sell Dr. Kiln>er's Swamp-Hoot and today 1 ltelieve it is one of tne beat medicines on the market; and my patrons nre very much pleased with the results obtained from it* | use and spenk very favorably regarding it. Swamp-Root has been very successful in the treatment of kidney, liver and bladder j , troubles according to the reports received and I have no hesitancy in recommending it for I have great faith in its merits. Very truly yours, ONVL DRUG STORE, Bv R. F. Boies, Oct. 3, 1016. SedAlia, Missouri. Latter to Dr. Kilmer ts Co. Blnghamton, N. Y. Prove What Swamp-Root Will Do For Yoa Send ten eenta to Dr. Kilmer &. Co., Binghamton, N. Y., for a sample also bottle. It will convince anyone. You will also receive a booklet of valuable information, telling nltout the kidneys and bladder. When writing, be sure and mention this paper. Large and medium size bottles for sale at all drug stores.?Adv. Good for Him. One Indianapolis woman is in fuvor I of the wnr?ami what It means to certain folk. She wrote to Hurry R. Smith, adjutant general, urging that "If the draft hoard calls for any more men, I wish you would sec that they ( nil for ?i? (her husband)." Then the letter gave his address and bis registration number. "lie is stout and henlthy and doesn't do any work, and I think it would ho ; good for him." the letter concluded.? Indianapolis News. Whenever You Need a General Tonic To!/A * tfrf' N CALOMEL IS MERGUfl STOP USH Don't Lose a Day's.Work! If Y( * Constipated Tike "DodsorV - Touire bilious!' ' Ypu* liver is sluggish! You .f0el lasy. dizzy and all knocked out .* Your head la dull, your topgue la coated; breath bad; stomach sour and bowels constipated. But don't take salivating calomel. It makes you slok, you may lose a day's work. Calomel Is mercury or quicksilver which causes necrosis of the bones. Calomel crashes Into sour bile like dynamite, breaking it up. That's when you feel that awful nausea and cramping. If VAM -??? * ? /v? nam w eujujr iae mcesi, gen-1 tlest liver and bowel cleansing you ever experienced just take a spoonful of harmless Dodson's Liver Tone. Tour druggist or dealer sells you a 50-eent bottle of Dodson's Liver Tone under my personal money-back guarantee that each spoonful will clean your 11 SSPM P (hbllh Watching ahd Waiting. The attorney for a litigant whose ease was about to be called for trial* VI'!1C nvniillnlmr losr.o.... ' ?? ?liV JUIJUirll I" quail flcatlons, and was questioning juror No. 10. says the Indianapolis News. "What do you do?" the lawyer usked. "I am doing nothing Just at present," he answered. "How long have you I teen doing nothing?" "Oh. for quite a while." "What did you do before you did nothing?" "I was watehing and waiting." "Tn other words," remarked the Inquisitor, "you were not doing anything before you did nothing. Is that right?" "No; I was watching and waiting, as I said." "Where were you when you were watching and waiting?" "I was watehing at the Lumber Oompany, and was waiting at the ? hotel." CUTICURA HEALS ECZEMA And Rashes That Itch and Burn?Trial Free to Anyone Anywhere. In the treatment of skin and scalp troubles bathe freely with Cutlcura Soap and hot water, dry and apply Cutlcura Ointment. If there Is a natural tendency to rashes, pimples, etc., prevent their recurrence by making: Cutlcura your dully toilet preparation. 1 Free sample each by mall with Hook. Address postcard, Cutlcura, Dept. L, Iteston. Sold everywhere.?Adv. A Pacifist. At three years old Reginald was already a celebrated coward. Particularly lie was afraid of all four-footed animals. There was talk in the family of adopting a dog. "Would you like to have a dog, nijr son?" said the proud parent. "So," said Reginald. Somewhat later Reginald returned to his father's side. Evidently he had been turning over in his mind the proposition recently submitted. "I'd like to have a dog," said he, "If I could have one with his mouth shut." Sound Logic. "Mumuin," said a live-year-old hoy the other day. "aren't there any other senses 'cept hearing, seeing, feelj'ig. tasting and smelling?" "No, my child," answered the mother. "It Is usually considered that these live are enough." i in, 3,1 hi i in* mill' mil'. ' II nil :iir (if (loop conviction, "I s'po.-e talk-' ing would ho called a sense If there wasn't so much nonsense nhottt It."? Pearson's. Wonderful! "Ilow are your nephew and his hrhle getting along hy this r ic?" "Finer than frog hair I-' niiiphaiitly replied the Missotirhin. 'They've heen married might\ nigh three weeks now and, hy eripes. they are still "peaking!"' .ludge. I "s an easy matter for a stingy man to get rich?hut what's the use? Admiration is a woman's llrst love id devotion is her last. I'm helping to save white bread by eating J more [ \ PostToasties I \ WMAT ARE / DOING f / ^ jgs - r- . * * l n SICKENS I IG SALIVATING DRUG . )ur Liver Is Sluggish or Bowels sjLlver Tone."?It's Fine! sluggish liver better than a dose of nasty calomel and that it won't make you sick. Dodson's Liver Tone Is real liver medicine. You'll know it next morning because you will wake up feeling fine, your liver will be working, your headache and dizziness gone, your Btomach will be sweet and your bowels regular. You will feel like working; you'll be cheerful; full of vigor and n UIUIUUU. Dodson's Liver Tone Is entirely vegetable, therefore harmless and cannot salivate. Give It to your children! Millions of people are using Dodson's Liver Tone Instead of dangerous calomel now. Your drugglut will tell you that the sale of calomel is almost Btopped entirely here.?Adv. Sold for 47 yean. Far I I M ^ Malaria, Chilis & Fe?er. fc) Also a Fine General TlMlf Strengthening Tonic. #WIV 60c and $1.00 at all Dru; Starea. FRESH* CRISP-WHOLESOME-DELICIOUS THI SANITMY MSTNODS ?mi? IH TH E MAKING OS THESE BISCUITS MAKE THEM THE STANDARD *f EXCELLENCE asar Daabr has bra. or if net h* should. Ask him or writs us qivinq his name. C H ATT A NO or. A RiUCDV - ? J Waited Eighteen Years for It. Talk about the returning traveler, and bow be feels bis heart beat when be returns to bis native shore from a long, long sojourn in a foreign land! Here's Frederick ltockwood. New Hnglander by birth and a resident of B<?gota, Colombia, for IS years as consul, newspaper correspondent and general agent. lie landed in this country ai few days ago. perfectly tickled to death, as the girls say, to get back to the IT. S. AHut did be fall down and kl -s the shores or offer burnt sncrlliees? He did not. He bad been longing for a goodsized dish of corned beef bash ever slpee he went to Colombia IS years ago. lie haul been saving up a corned beef hash appetite nil these years. So when he landed the tlrst thing he did was to go to a restaurant and order five portions of his favorite food.?Karl Goodwin In Wusldngton Star. MOTHER! Have you ever used MOTHER'S JOY SALVE for Colds, Coughs, Croup and Pneumonia, Asthttm, und Head Catarrh? If you haven't get It at once. It will cure you.?Adv. The Wise Fool. "Age brings wisdom," observed the sage. "Hut it doesn't leave us much time to use It." replied the fool.?Cincinnati Enquirer. Undersea Wit. "Who tins old Nluirk been tleeelng now ?" "Why, the poor suckers, of course." GREEN MOUNTAIN \ ASTHMA < TREATMENT / -\> Blnudard rrmi'dj for fifty VTtT Te*r,> nnd rwult of man; ;eitra <v riprrlenoe in treatment of ?L'iSly;f throat an<l lung UImmuum by KynPtA-Yn Dr. J. H. Guild. MnialH/d|nrtl Free Sample and Practical ( Trratlaeon Aatboia, Ita cause, treatment, etc., arnt upon reeMMbaSatlKU OUchI. 'die. A Sl.lJOnt ilriiKfrfate. J. II. tlUILD CO., Itu pert, VI. I Reduces Strained, Puffy Anklea, Lymphangitis, Pull Evil, Fistula, Boils, Swellings; Stops Lameneaa anil allays pain. Heals Sores, Cuts, Bruises, Boot Chafes. It is a SAFE ANTISEPTIC AND GERMICIDE Does not blister or remove tha hair and horse can be worked. Pleasant to use. $2.00 a bottle, delivered. Describe your caaa for special instructions and Book 5 M free. sncouniMr in . .. . -- ji\M auuarpuc liniment lor ui in kind. r?duces Strains. Painful. Knotted. Swollen Veins. Conceal trmted?only a few drops required at an applicant . Pries Si per bottle at dealers or delivered. W. F.YOUNG. P. 0. F.. SIOTtnpleSt .SDringfloltf. Mist. TEACHERS WANTED SPECIAL ENROLLMENT (1) Men for town and country schools, $75 to $100; Ci) LadieHOombining music andoommoa school; (3) Grade and high school. Can plaoa all qualified tcaohera. Unprecedented d^ tnand. Write today. Special enrollment. Southern Teachers1 Agency, Columbia, S.C FOR PERSONAL HYGIENE Dissolved in water for douches itopi pelvic catarrh, ulceration and inflammation. Recommended by Lydia EL Pink ham Med. Co, for ten years. A healing wonder for nasal catarrh, sore throat and sore eyes. Economical. Hu ailtaoadibary daviu, and cnnirWUI SamplaFr.fi. 50c. all dntrauu, or pel raid by \_jnaj. Thfil arVioTtaUrCompany. Biatno. Man. _J ,-QC Our plan glyeaiich<??il libraries. picturna, ilCnOflaa., pr?iuUim<i wltb tableta. Inks. ..a. WrlU array iMka.1 aa.pl/ Ca , Blralaykaai, Ala. W. N. U.. CHARLOTTE, NO. 39-1917.