THE FORT MILL TIMES 8
Published Every Thursday. ]
FORT MILL, 80UTH CAROLINA.
One seasonal occupation is going ?
swimming.
Nobody envleB a fat man In hot
weather.
If you can't swim, any depth of water
is too deep. c
Even Hoston hns started a crusade ^
against "animal dances." | ^
An outing for a man usually meant '
an inning for a mosquito. I t
n
Fiahlng muBt bo good. Mighty few
stories of wonderful catches. *
A woman'B face is her fortune, says '
an exchange. Yes; and money talka. f
13
The most popular currency bill la v
one with a green back and a good fign
ure. j
r
Vesuvius again showB signs of activ 1
lty. Ah a rule such signs are unmls- l
takable.
Still, they manngcd to play ball be- ^
foro the word "Jinx" entered the ve
cabulary.
c
It does no good to turn the thermometer
to the wall. You can't turn
ofT the heat.
|><
No matter how many troubles a man ^
haB. he can forget them all when a fish ^
grabs tho bait. H
0
Every time hot weather comes a
man wishes he had the courage tc
dress comfortably.
Tho man who ate six dinners to win 11
a bet of $25 could have Bold tho food c'
for twice as much. j a
TongueH can get a man into trouble ?
It more wnys thnn one. A Fhlladel
phla man choked on his. n
| t.
A title doesn't seem to fit the man
who wrote Peter ran. at least a n
"tallor-mado" title doesn't. ^
There Is not sufficient tension In the ?
baseball situation at present to make ?
the fans enjoyably maniacal. : d
a
Excursion rates make It almost as
cheap to travel as to stay at home 8
and not nearly so monotonous.
As potaio cars are to bo heated in
winter, the earnest hobo will proceed
to disguise himself ns a potato.
Little birds that 'rolic in the woods
and cat berries do not get as much
stomach-aches as the picnickers do.
The Chlcngo husband who has to
woo his wife all over again probably
will not be so ardent as the first time.
There Is an opportunity for some
genius to bless mankind by thinking .
up a reasonable excuse for going fishing.
It is a mean business man who
nsks the college graduate that applies
for work to translato his college dl- ,
ploma
As Lady Constance suggests, what's ?
the use of acquiring a beautiful
figure If you can't get rated accordingly?
In New York one might sny, If one
were sufficiently reekleHs, that the
combination is "wine, women and Sing
felng." ?
To discover that last year's bathing j
suit has shrunk does not daunt the j
young woman who is as courageous as %
she is fair. ! c
People who tnko poison by inlptaka
may bo careless, but what shall bo
said of those who leave tho poison
lying around? i
A $19 steer is said to cost tho con- j
sumors $99 Men arc given BtoerB occanionally
that eventually cost them ,
more than that. |
Jacksonville, Fla., announcea a
movement in favor of more clothes
for women, but nothing has been
heard from Yuma. Ariz.
It Is fortunate that ail tho bent
poetry of lovo and practically all tho
best romances were written before
eugenics became a fad.
According to a decision recently
made by tho supreme court of Mis
fUBBipi-i, n razor is noi a weapon. (
On the other hand It could hardly be |
called a toy
Now that the nary has abolished (
"starboard" and "port" for "right" and
"loft." cannot somebody relieve the
clash between "interstate" and "Intra- (
state?"
A Chicago doctor says Americans
are short-sighted. Still, that's not tho |
real reason why they don't save money.
The 8an Francisco Dishwashers' j
union announced that It has 100 college
men as members. A blow to persons
who claim that the college man
Is not practical.
Might be pleasant to take a trip
with Count Zeppelin about now in one
of his airships. The atmosphere is
quite cold when a certain elevation
hove the earth's surface is reached
[HEY WANTED A DOG
lut Got a Baby Which Beats
the Best Canine
Living.
By C. B. CRAWFORD.
They were a lonely old couple,
leth Earl waB Blxty and his wife,
Ida, flfty-flve. If they had had chilIrpn
llvincr thnv onnl/1 Kow? fho
i> . i??5 vmvj wuiu iiaru iuvcu vuo
uture more hopefully. But the lon?InesB
that hud always encompassed
hem since their only boy, Arthur,
lad died in babyhood, seemed to be
losing in around them more tightly
roin day to day, like a tangible thing.
They owned their house in tho vilage
and Karl's pension from the corporation
that had employed him for
0 yearB, small though it was, prodded
them with tho necessities of
ife. Since Earl had retired he had
nooned aimlessly about the garden
dot. He had always looked forward
o his long holiday, to a life of leisired
ease, and now life seemed to
ffer nothing.
Once, five years before, they had
iscussed adopting a child. Hut Seth
ad never returned to the subject,
'he look upon his wife's face harowed
him, and he knew that no
hild could ever take the place of
heir little boy wIiobb photograph was
he only picture in the neat little par>r.
"I guess I'm too old to start caring
ar a child now, Seth," said his wife,
iesides, we'd be in our graves, as
ke as not, before it was grown old
nough to shift for itself."
Both of them had always been
omewhat afraid of life, and both
hrank from new enterprises. The
arrow round of their days had beome
a rut along which they traveled
imlesBly.
"If only I had something, if only a
og," he said to himself. "That would
e company. He'd come to wake me
lornings, barking and wagging his
til, and then what walks we'd have
3gether. Well, why not? Why
houldn't I have a dog? Other men
ave one."
As he expected. Adaoffered strong
pposition to the suggestion. Hut
eth was insistent over his tremer.ou&
plan, and gradually his enthusisni
won his wife over.
"He'd muss up the house and
cratch things," she protested. "But
?|
if
This Beats the Best Don Llvlnn."
f you've set your heart on a dope I
luppose you must havo one. Hut
vhere'd you get a dog. Setli? A good
log would eost $20 and wo haven't
i dollar to Bpare. Nobody we know
ins dogH to give away?leastways,
lot good dogs."
"O, yes. we can get a dog," aniwered
Setli promptly. "The Society
or iho Prevention of Cruelty to Aninais
nas dogs to give away. I was
ending something about It in the
japer yesterday. It says they pick
ip stray dogs that nobody wants, and
ost dogs that no one claims, or that
lave got turned adrift, and give them
iway to anybody that will guarantee
hem a good home. Ada," he eontinled
firmly, "I'm going into town tomorrow
to see that society, and I'm
:omlng home with a dog."
"Well, I suppose he can eat the
scraps," said his wife grudgingly. The
imminence of the event startled?almost
terrified?her, but her husband's
eagerness quenched all further objections
on her part. She even began
to picture their neat little home with
Its new occupant.
"I hope he won't be a noisy, ill-tem
pereu (log. setn, she salmAnd
tlon't you get one that's going to
bark all night, unless there's burglars
round. And mind he isn't a biting
dog."
They discussed all manner of doge
that night and finally settled upon a
fox terrier as likely to give the most
satisfaction. When Seth had depart
ed next morning Ada found, to hei
astonishment, that Bhe had become
almost as eager as her husband. She
paced the floor nervously in the inter
vals between her duties, and once she
caught, herself in the act of polishing
the chairs, as though some humar
visitor were expected. "I wondei
what sort of dog Seth will bring back
w\th him." she mused.
And when at length Seth stood a!
the door, dejected and dogless, a great
discontent settled upon her.
' p*
V "(f 1
"Couldn't you find a single dog that
would suit, Seth?" she snapped out.
"Couldn't get near "em." her hus
band answered apologetically. "I
found the society all right, but the
woman secretary wouldn't let me in.
No, nor even finish what I had begun
to say. I hadn't got the word 'adopt*
out of my mouth before she asked me
If I were married. "Married 30 years,'
I answered, '30 years, ma'am, and to
the best woman?' 'Then bring your
wife along,' she said. 'We don't have
dealings with men.' "
"You mean to say they take all that
trouble about a dog?" inquired his
wife. "You'd think it might be babies
they were giving away instead of J
dogs. I reckon," she added thought- 1
fully, "she must be one of those suffragettes."
"Well, I suppose we'll Just have to
give up thinking about a dog," answered
her husband gloomily.
"Now, isn't that Just like you,
Reth!" replied his wife. "The moment
a trifle happens to upBet your
plnns you want to give up. You
promised me a dog and a dog I'm going
to hnve."
Seth looked at his variable wife in
amazement. "But I thought you
didn't like the idea of getting a dog.
Ada." he said.
"1 did nnd I didn't. When you first
3poke about getting a dog naturally
I was scared a little. But I've been
thinking it over since and?O, Seth,
I want a dog as much as you and
more," she sobbed.
Her husband drew her to him ten
derly. Her old gray head rested upon
his shoulder. He knew it was the
instinct of motherhood within her that
had provoked her grief. At last she
dabbed her handkerchief to her eyes
and smiled at him.
"Ada, my dear, you'ro going to have
your dog, and the finest in tho land,"
he said, "even if it takes the last penny
of our Bavings."
"Hut it's not going to cost a penny,
Seth." she answered. "Because I'm
going into town tomorrow and?and?
I'm going to bring back our dog." I
Solh Earl put his wife aboard tuo
train next morning. He was to do
the housework that day, while she
was gone upon their errand. And as
the hours rolled by he, too, was overtaken
by the ^ame impatience that
had overcome his wife on the nreced
ing day, and he, too, found himself
dusting the furniture and straightening
the chairs as though a human occupant
were expected. And when at
last he heard a tinkle at the bell he
could hardly open the door, he felt so
Bhaken.
Ada stood at the door, a basket in
her arms, and her eyes were bright
with happiness, and the look on her
face was almost like that she had
worn on their wedding day. She entered
and set the basket down.
"Let mo see him," cried Seth, as
she began to unfasten the blanket
that covered It. "Is It a fox-terrier,
Ada? It must be a puppy."
He jumped as a child's feeble wall
came to his ears and looked at his
wifo in terror as, with motherly fingeis,
she pinned back tho coverings,
disclosing a fine baby boy.
"You goose," said Ada softly. "That
was the Society for the Prevention
of Cruelty to Children you sent me to.
And when I saw the babies lying in
their little cots nil in a row I wanted
to take them all and?and?"
"I wish you had. dear," answered
her husband ecstatically. "This beats
the best dog living."
(Copyright. 1013. by W. C. Chapman.)
PLOW DEVISED BY ABRAHAM
*
University of Pennsylvania Has Picture
of Probably First Machine
of Its Kind.
Tho University of Pennsylvania
has just discovered that it owns whr.t
is believed to bo the first picture of
the plow invented by Abraham centuries
ago. According to the Egyptologists
at the museum, their translations
of the hieroglyphics show
that Abraham was the progenitor of
the harvester trust.
While plows undoubtedly were used
before the time of this invention, the
Abraham plow is a combination seeder
and planter, and. according to the
inscription on the picture, three men
were necessary to operate It.
The picture was made upon a Ttabylnnian
hrick, which was the custom in
those days. The apparatus had a
tube-like attachment, into which the
seeds were poured. A vessel above
the ground facing the frame of the
plow was used as a receptacle for the
seed, and then the harrow was attached
to the back of the plow,
i The Itabylonians sowed and tilled
i according to Abraham's commands.
and with his Invention they feared
i neither the ravens nor any other
birds that devoured their grain.
i Royal 'Widow's Woes.
Poor old Francis Joseph, emperor
of Austria, is again called upon to
I use his kindly offices by another dis
tressed lady who desires the approval
i tl.? Jl.. * --
? I wi mo iu me uivurt'c recenuy
; | granted to her by tho civil courts.
The lady is tho Archduchess Isabella,
i who married Prince George of Hai
vaHa, a union that was but for a day.
I Pius X has ratified the legnl decis
ions, but has ordered as a pennance
for the lady that for six months she
> shall remain retired in the Red Cross
! convent and minister to the sick.
- The archduchess finds this prescrlp?
tlon of the pope altogether too set
vere, as she desires to attend the
i wedding of her cousin, the prince of
r. Croy, with Miss Nancy Lelschman.
c daughter of the United States minister
to Berlin. In the meantime Frant
cis Joseph will do what he can \o ret.
lleve the lady of the discipline inflicted
by the church.
WILDCAT AnACKS A
BOY IN MICHIGAN
After Fierce Fight the Animal Is
Killed by a Twelve-YearOld
Lad.
Houghton, Mich.?While playing
about the grounds of his father's summer
home at Twin Lakes, Sheldon, the
twelve-year-old son of B. T. Barry,
wealthy mining man of Houghton, was
attacked by a vicious wildcat which
pounced upon him from a tree and severely
bit him about the right Bhoulder.
The lad had presence of mind to
grasp the animal by the naj>e of the
1 neck and wrench it from its perch on
his back, throwing it to the ground
Not daunted by the accident, he
rushed into the house, secured his rifle |
| and took up a search for the animal '
which had attacked him. He found !
the wildcat perched on the limb of a
| u-A^rw j |
Attacked by a Vicious Wildcat.
nearby tree. Unloading the contents
ut his gun lit the wildcat, the young
man repaired to the house, where he
toid of his experience to his parents.
Medical ai<l was summoned immediately
and the wounds 011 the lad's shoulder
were dressed.
Sheldon Barry is the grandson of
Ransom Sheldon, a pioneer of the cop
per country, who spent much of his
early life in the camps of the Indians j
along the shores of Lake Superior.
{FIGHTS RHINO IN ZOO CAGE j
New York Central Park Keeper Is Attacked
by Animal and Has
Narrow Escape.
New York.?Old Smiles, the two!
horned rhinoceros in the Central Park
zoo, was not in the best of humor tho
1 other day. Hattie, the elephant next
door, had given a long talk on wornI
an's suffrage, and Jewel, her brother.
; had backed her up with a trunkful of
I arguments.
When Billy Snyder, the head keeper,
went to give Old Smiles his annual
j smear, the rhino was ready for war.
! He did not feel anu more kindly when
, he was roped and trussed to one of {
I the bars
The only entrance to the cage is a
I door in the back, which never has
I boon unlocked since the rhinocerc s
! was put behind the bars. Snyder I
i reached the top of the cage by means
of a long ladder, then lowered nnother
ladder into the cage.
Old Smiles tugged at his ropes until
he got free. The keeper jumped
around the cage. He made the ladder
and scampered for the top. Khino was
not to be fooled so easily. He rushed
for the ladder and threw Snyder into
the air. but the keeper, much to his
1 and Old Smiles' surprise, landed on
i the back of the rhino.
Snyder made a Jump for the ladder,
and his assistant. Hob Hurton, stuck
i a pitchfork into Old Smiles. The an!- |
innl was kept at bay until the keeper
' escaped. Then Old Smiles was trussed
| up again and bis annual toilet was
1 made, despite bis protestations. He's
! new for another year.
STUNG TO DEATH BY BEES
Old Man Walks Into Swarming Hive
and Is Enveloped by Angry
Insects.
Pittsburgh. Pa.?Unknowingly because
of poor sight. Jeremiah Kramer, j
aged seventy-two. of Wind Cap road >
in Chartiers township, ran into a big
hive of bees which were about to |
swarm on a projecting beam in his 1
wagon shop the other day.
The bees enveloped Kramer and !
piled onto his face and two-foot-long
whiskers. The old man yelled for help
and fought the bees as best he could,
but he was soon blinded and helpless ,
from their stings. The onslaught of 1
? "
ucrn 9UUII reiiutrrfu mill unconBClOUS
und ho was found by his son, Joshua,
three hoursJater laying on the wagon
shed floor with tho myriads of bees on
his head, arms and neck which were
swolled to twice their natural size. A1
hough medical aid was hurriedly sum
moned Kramer died.
Tipped the Plaintiff.
New York.?After the court had decided
for him in a suit for $9.30 instituted
by Mayor Oaynor'B lawyer. Dr.
George Dickaon handed the plaintiff
a $10 note and told him "keep the
change."
^ 'W". f"
" f
M^7|NGj|
Uncle Sam Manufactures
AA II AT ""? t. 1 i- -f ]
WASHINGTON.?In the midst of the i
ponderous national duties which 1
constantly beset him, lTncle Sam finds j
time to indulge in the occupation of
toymaker, an occupation which makes
him beloved by children and admired
by grown-ups who may never hope to
Bee the mighty originals of the wonderful
toys.
Three rooms in a tiny brick building.
tucked away in a secluded corner
of the Washington navy yard, where
the thuuder of giant machinery making
mighty guns is shut out and the
everlak ing crashing of metal is faint
and dim. constitute the toy shop for
things marine.
Six of Uncle Sam's most able assistants,
all experts in their line, are employed
hero steadily turning out the
expensive playthings. There is one
workman laboriously threading wire
into a long cage. Here is another
slowly carving with small instruments
many pieces of wood that dovetail
Jackson Monument Guns
WITHIN the circular fence which
girdles the green mound on which
the Jackson monument stands in I,afayette
square are four old field guns
pointing outward from the corners of
the white stone pedestal. They are
slightly depressed.
Tho gun* are bronze, muzzle-load- j
iiiK smoothbores, with a caliber of
abouv. two inches. They are crusted
with the gray-green which conies to
cannon with age and l?nds charm to
antique ordinance.
The carriage? have been freshly
painted, tin- wood gra^ and the iron
parts black. The ^trriages are well
preserved. It seems impossible that
they can be the original carriages of
these guns. The wheels have wooden
hubs as big as b >er kegs, with fourteen
spokes and seven felloes. The
lynch pin through .he spindle is of a
pattern that was superseded several
years ago by the new artillery hubcap
fastening. The elevating screws,
square wooden axles, square timber
trails, the brackets for trail handspike,
the slings for rammer staffs and
the trunnion seats and fastenings
seem to mark these gun carriages as
of the Civil war type of field artillery.
Two of the guns, those at the
southeast and the northwest corners
Says Failure to Kill Flies
THAT the failure to destroy house
flies in a community is a blot 011
civilized methods of life is the opinion
of I)r L. C). Howard, chief of the
bureau of notoniology of the United
States department of agriculture, who
probably has made a more exhaustive
study of the insect than any other
scientist in America.
Doctor Howard Is watching with
Interest the campaign against the pest
and believes that the preventive
methods being urged constitute the
only feasible means of eradicating tiiis
source of danger to mankind
The conclusion reached by the department
of agriculture expert is that
lie fly acts as n freight train for the
output of Germville. The carrying of
typhoid germs, he says, is the tly's
Problem of Feeding the
* *?" K problem of feeding the help in
1 large hotels has perplexed managers
in every city in the world," said
the hc<-i4 of one of Washington's
largest hotels the other day. "The
question is now being considered by
many of the large hotels in this country
whether it i? cheaper to raise the
salary of the emoloves and not to fur
nish them with meals or to provide
regular meals for them.
"In many large hotels there is a
class of help that is fed In the kitchen,
while other employes have special
dining rooms. The chambermaids,
bellboys, porters, scrubwomen and all
employes of the lower grade are fed
usually from the help's kitchen. One
of tho leading hotels of Chicago allows
the first officers $90 per month
for their meals, and they ort\er from
the regular menu. As this Is the most
exclusive house and the cafe'.prices
are almost prohibitive, this amount is
not too much to give any officer ki fair
'y good meal. Two other hotelf a little
leas pretentious allow the fii^t of
' ' .. 4?_^ ' * i' *
< t
x
i^Gos^
i Some Expensive Toys *
perfectly once their jigsaw Individualities
are united in a whole. There is
another with a tiny braziar melting
small pigs of metal with anxious care,
and far in a Bhadowy corner another
is arranging his paintB.
A room in the building of the army
signal corps is the home of the army
toy, the tiny field gun, the mule team
with animals complete, all less than
three feet long; the miniature field
hospital and a horde of other things.
Children going through the war and
navy departments cry out in delight
when they first learn what a wonderful
Santa Claus Uncle Sam can be if
he puts his hand to it. One millionaire
gravely offered a secretary of the navy
$15,000 for a single toy and was refused
because Uncle Sam desire? that
his playthings be enjoyed by all alike
Hardy plainsmen, visiting fairs In
desert towns, stare open-mouthed at
Uncle Sam's toys and chuckle with
pride at the strength which he huB
shown them in minature.
Uncle Sam's toyshop at the navy
yard is wonderful. Here exact models
?on a scale of one-quarter of an inch
to one foot?of the mighty fighting
craft of the nation are huilt. Tools
no larger than a surgeon's lancet are
used to cut and shape the hull, for
every line in the miniature dreadnought
is made according to the plans
of the original. A mistake of one onehundredth
of an inch would be fatal.
Are Bronze Smoothbores
p i t
of the pedestal, have the ornamented
handles that were common In seventeenth
and eighteenth century French
and Spanish ships' guns and fortress
artillery. The guns at the southwest
and northeast angles of the monument
are without these handles. The
guns with hanules are chased on the
barrel.
The writer asked Col. Spencer
Cosby, engineer corps. United States
army, ollleer In charge of public
buildings and grounds in the District
of Columbia, about these guns. Colonel
Cosby said:
"Nino years ago the office made
an effort to ascertain the history of
the four cannons located at the base
of the Jackson statue in Uafayette
square, but was unable to learn anything
delinite either from our own.
records or from those of the war department."
Is Blot Upon Civilization
chief asset, but, in addition, the insects
manage to distribute a few
hundred thousand tuberculosis*
cholera. Infantum and dysentery
bacilli. As a general thing, every
lly carries a quarter of a million
bacill' and spends most of the summer
months in scatering free samples,
wherever he goes. .
A careful collection of garbage in
cans, watertight floors for stables, absolute
cleanliness and careful inspection
by hoard of health employes are
the fly-prevention methods suggested
by I>octor Howard.
The final solution of the fly nuisance,
he points out, must rest entirely
on prevention?that is to say, thebreeding
plafces of flies must be done
away with. The majority of flies being
reared in stable refuse, it ia
stated, would seem to point the way
for the successful abatement of the fly
nuisance.
I)r Arthur L. Murray of the District
of Columbia health department,
who is supervising the local cnrnpalga
of a large number of stables and sug
Rest to owners steps that may be
taken to prevent these places from
' serving as fly hatcheries.
Help in Large Hotels
foorfr co*
too sjmc
fleers 60 cents for breakfast, 75 cents
for lunch and $1 for dinner fron? a
bill of fare prepared especially for
them, the prices being about 25 per^fl^^^B
I cent, lest than a regular card. Sec^fl H
I ond and third offlcers are furnislu>d|^^^^^^^H
; menu, also especially prepared,
them a soup, meat or
or coffee and a
Several New
their officers on a basis
mercantile business and
men on weekly salary,
board, laundry or other^^B^^^B^Bi^^^^B
have been so lo^| I
the employe.'^^H^^B^B^^^^^H