7/ *
THE FORT MILL TIMES hibflihod
Every Thursday. |
FORT MILL, 80UTH CAROLINA.
Now It Is the "individual drinking (
cup" for the horse!
It Is embarrassing to borrow money
from a deaf friend In a crowd.
New York 1b to have steplesB care-.
The much-maligned hobble skirt did ^
IL t
t
What will the government do with
all the microbes It washes oft the cur- t
ponnv 7
?' i '1
" I ^
Still, "refined boxing" 1b not likely v
to become a popular parlor entertain- ^
(nent.
.? ^
Despite the old adage. Borne people j,
have married at leisure and repentod
In haste. p
It Is natural that general optimism j!
hould Increase with the abundunce ol
cherry pie. ^
Let us quit railing at the motorcy
cle. It ranks nniong the utilities that ^
have come to stay.
0
Cautious owners of motor boats will ] g
take along a pair of oars and keep e
within sight of land. - j
Europe would bo still more dls ^
quieted If it had two baseball pen- r
nants to worry about. r
Will tho government experts whe
are to Investigate, the oyster beds be
classed as chambermaids?
i 1
Press dispatches say there Is a rev 8
alution In Venezuela, but fall to state
whether it is yet or again.
o
Fourteen thousand books are turn- '
sd out In this country a year, and only
tlx of them become best sellers. fi
r
At }1,500 for four pounds of Pomera r
alan dog. the prevailing high prices foi
cattle and hogs seem dirt cheap.
fi
Wisconsin hns a law prohibiting c
gossip. But Is there a man In Wis
consin who ran tell what gossip Is? *
,i
A Cincinnati woman wants all her i
ex to wear a badge reading: "I kiss
aot." The answer to that Is: "I guesi
not"
Now York Is to have not only the
largest court house In the country 1
but the largest church. It needs
both.
The older generation Is unaffected
by the Immodest fads which modern
oclety sanctions; but what of the
poung?
i
The difference between your own
child and your neighbor's is that your
child is a cherub and your neighbor's
Is a brat.
Now it Is discovered that the earth
wahbleB. This will furnish a new and
effective excuse for those shaken by
this wabbling from the straight and
narrow path.
We have seen men sneer at futile
feminine fashions and then go into
a furnishing store and use good gray
matter deciding upon the color of a j
new puir of garters.
They say photography Is useless In J
portraying feminine fashions for the .
reason, which men can readily believe, ,
that such figures as women would
like to have do not exist.
Now that goat, meat Is being sub tituted
for mutton, a bright remark I
uch as "you generally get the butcher's
goat when you ask for spring
lamb" Ib quite permissible.
A newly-married man in New York
has been held up nnd robbed of hi?
money three times in threo duys. Bui
by the time ho has been married a few
months ho will be used to it.
I,
The girls in one senior class in n .
high Bchcol in Ohio were graduated in
dresses that cost them only $1.90 ,
apiece. And it is not recorded thai
they knew less in those dresses. ! ]
| I
"How many millions make a billion?"
Inquires a correspondent. Billion
in America, Is one thousand mil- !
lions. Billion id England, is one million
millions. We should worry!
A rich woman in California bought
a whole township slto to insure herself
privacy and quiet. This is one
way of getting rid of the noises of
civilization, but it is not apt to become
popular.
According to asoclation of commerce
estimates. Chicago men pay annually
$6,000,000 for 6,000,000 hats. But where
can one find that kind of hat? Perhaps
the asoclation of commerce
Judged by appearances.
The minister who says that great
wealth keeps away religion seems tc
have hold of an idea that was being
talked of about 1.815 years ago.
An exchange wants all bonehead
plays In baseball tabulated by them
elves. The request cannot be com
plied with In all leagues in all cases.
"Men have more beautiful llgures
than women, and they are more graceful."
You are given one guess as to
whether the speaker was masculine ot
feslstsa
is&i f
1
(
SAUCE FOR GANDER I
Si
hi
ndulgent Husband Who Could b<
Not Resist a Practical Joke jo
Taught a Lesson. w
By MRS. D. E. COOPER.
Hobson waB a good citizen, an In- r
lulgent husband, a boon companion; ?
tut he positively could not resist a
iractlcal Joke.
His wife was indignant when he, on
heir wedding day, notified her by t
phone that he had broken a leg and .
ould not come to be married; and
t-hen, as she was about to tearfully ^
iismlss the guests, ho appeared, Jouny,
unconcerned and whole, ho never
;new?she was a woman of spirit? ^
iow near she came to dismissing him.
Then there was the time that he
iretended that his hister Dora and
ier husband had been killed in a
allroad accident and that he and his
trife would have to rear the six chilren.
d<
"Rrutally coarse," she called It. ..j
Mrs. llobson never laughed at her rJ
iusband's jokes ? not considering
hem funny?and on one particularly n,
;loomy day in early spring, after a Bj
hock that aggravated her nlmoBt past
ndurance, she decided that he had g,
cached the limit. k,
"To Whom It May Concern: Par- tl,
ies are hereby notified that I am not d(
esponBible for debts contracted by lc
ay wife. h(
"RORT. RORSON." ci
With eyes flashing danger she dash- m
d the little local paper on the dining 8j
able where Robert had, with unusual
;ood humor, left it. H
"So this is his idea of a joke!" sho
ixclaimed with compressed lips that ,j|
leepened her dimples. "This! Well, ^1
t is his last. %v
"I'll teach him a lesson he won't w
oon forget." she confided to the hall fc
nirror as she viciously thruBt a hat
tin through hat and auburn tresses. tt
Shortly after noon Robson appeared hi
it bis sister Dora's home. Dora was h
lerving dinner for the hungry chil- ft
Iren.
"Tessie always hangs the foliage ti
)lant in the window as a signal for
ne to come home to dinner," he ex- gi
d
^ P
"So This Is His Idea of a Joke!" 41
g
plained, "and I tell you what, Dodo, b
I'm afraid to go home, for she has not
signaled me today. Guess she's a bit d
upset," he laughed a little lainely, ti
"about the ad?Just did it to get a lit- i,
tie Joke on her, you know." r
"I don't know what you mean," re- t]
plied busy Dora, "but I did hope,
Itob. that you would settle down when v
you were married. You are twenty- tl
five now. and 1 declare, act with no c
more Judgment than my own Rob,
who is less than half your age." 1,
"There she Is now!" called IlobBon, _
pulling Dora to the window. "Mad R
as a March hare. Gee! but she looks d
line in that new suit" y
"The boa is a beauty," replied Dora, t
"It shows off well when she walks." j
"Yes, she is making the fur fly, bo i,
to speak." chuckled Bobson. "1 say. b
Dode, just give me some dinner with
the kids. I'll got none at homo to- b
day."
Along In the afternoon. Will Rath- r
bone of Rathbone, Sutton & Streets, u
came into BobBon's office.
"Good boy, Billie," called the efTer- R
vescent Bobson. "You look like Foxe's j
'Book of Martyrs." Anything happened s
to the horse?"
"It's about the advertisement," said c
Will hesitatingly. a
Bobson leaned back and laughed uproariously.
"The best ever," he exclaimed.
"But 1 guess Tees is mad,"
said he, sobering somewhat.
"I wanted to say," continued Rath- d
bone, unsmilingly, "that you can hard- h
ly expect to be unaccountable for the fc
debts contracted before the notice was e
published." r
Rathbone, noting the look of dumb
astonishment on liobson's face, added: t
'I hate to speak of it. Hob, but we aro 1
in for about $600, and can ill afford to \
lose it. You know I am somewhat in j
debt?my wife's father, you under- 1
stand. The new department was my I
idea, you know. So Sutton & Streets i
blame me, for I was the one to let the
account run; knowing you and Tessie
so well."
"Bobson rose, in a towering passion, i
"Rathbone, if you say another word
I'll throw you out."
Rathbone straigthened perceptibly.
"1 hardly think so, Bobson. Better
consider a moment, first. Remember,
you tried that on me at school some <
16 years ago. and It' didn't work joet J (
aa you anticipated." I
I
Bobson'B hair stood on end. Was
lis the end of their David and Jona
ian affection? Aud through what j
lastly freak of torture had Tessic \
5t tola him! Six hundred dollars!
Draewhai blindly he put out his
ind. "Doi/l let us quarrel, Billie," i
? said a little 'hickly. "1 will fix it
>me way. I only put It in as a little ;
ike on Teas. 1 thought every one
ould know.
Rathbone took bis hand and tried
hide the scorn in his voice: "All
ght. Bob; but if that is your notion
' fun I am sorry for you."
"I'm sorry for the little girl," he
sturned simply, as Rathbone left
im.
Alone, he sat, unable to fix his atintion
on business, ashamed even to
ance through the window.
Along in the afternoon his sister
ora's husband, a man several years
obson's senior, walked thoughtfully
ito the inner office. Though on the |
ist of terms, BobBou had a profound
;spect for Stewart.
"This 1b bad, Robert," said Stewart, j
>ut it seems that for decency'B sake
>u might have taken some other
ay."
Bobson, the chills playing sportively
>wn his spine, felt what was coming,
lut you can't expect me to waive my
ghts,' continued Stewart.
Oobson raised his head to Bpoak but
: his visitor's hand, lifted to enjoin
lence, he waited.
"It is not right of you," resumed
tewart. "You always bragged, you
low, even to Dora, that Tessie was.
le best dressed woman in town. 1
m't deny that she is; but 1 meant
> get Dora one or two things to make
er work lighter?a new sewing maline
and a gas range, when you paid
ie, and it is hardly fair that she
lould go without these things in orsr
to satisfy Tessie'B love for dress,
was $400, you know."
Four hundred dollars! Indeed, he
Id not know. Bobson sprang from
is chair and paced the small office,
hlle Stewart grimly waited. He
ould not betray Tessie even to the
imily, but why, why?
"Man alive," he exclaimed, "I'll
tuke it right. Even if it ruins me." I
e muttered. "But Bee here, Stewart."
e continued, "1 only put that ad In
ir a Joke."
"Well, 1 hope you will enjoy it," reirned
Stewart unfeelingly.
Bobson was stunned. "Business can
o to thundor," said he between his
lenehed teeth, as flinging on his hat
nd coat he went by the back way to
is home. Finding the house locked
e enterd by the way of the cellar?u
ick that he knew.
"Teas, TesBle, girl!" he called loud- i
r, softly, pleadingly, as he searched
ach nook of the tiny house. Going
b the telephone he rang up his wife's
jother.
"She's not here," was the curt re
ly, and ho heard the click of the reelver
as it was hung up. Dismayed,
e stood motionless. Teas' mother
as clearly vexed at him. She, who
ad always taken his part?then he
raB Indeed forlorn.
For hours he walked the floor or
Xing himself groaning Into a chair to
rait and to plan how to pay a debt of
1,000 when he had invested all that
Is business would permit In their litis
paradise of a home.
When the midnight train from Chiago
pulled into the little station, Bobon,
who had hitherto been aBharned
9 show himself, was madly pacing the
latform, questioning a party of reurned
theater-goers, the only passen- ,
era to get off, whether his wife had
een on the train.
"Yea, she has left me, and I richly
eserve It," he muttered as he reurned
home and staggerd blindly
tito the house. Haggard and worn he
cached his home and switched on
he light.
"You're out late, Bobbie," said a
oice, sleepily, and Bobson started and
lmost cried out from sheer nervous
xhauBtion.
"Teas, girl! ' he cried, dropping on
is knees and clasping the sleepy bun-dlo
of lacey whiteness and vainly
eeking her face, which seemed hiden
by the abundant auburn hair, "can
ou ever forgive me? I didn't know
hat you owed anything. On ray soul,
didn't. It was one of my cursedly
Jiotic Jokes. It is my last, you may
ie suro."
"Yes dear never mind"?the slim
and passing lovingly through his hair
-"and, Hobble, boy, Bhe tried to
aised the bowed head, "I don't owe
, cent!"
"TesB!" The burden of years
eemed lifted from his soul. "Oh, but
ahull make Hathbone and Stewart
mart for this!"
"Why, Bobbie Dobson!" she exlalmed,
naively aggrieved; "that was
. practical Joke!"
(Copyright, by Dally Btory Pub. Co.)
Died From Eating Too Fast.
James Gregory of Queens died sudlenly
the other day. An ambulance
lurgeon expressed belief that death
tad resulted from strangulation, eaus
id by too rapid eating and inadequate
nastication.
Gregory, who was 47 years old, wen1
o Manning's hotel for dinner. When
>alf through the meal he collapsed. He
vas carried to a drug store and a tele
>hone message was sent to St. Mary'e
lospital, Jamaica, for an ambulance
:k>ctor Stark found Gregory dead
vhen ho arrived.?New York Tribune
Too Late.
"There was one sport the Roman
mobs at the Coliseum missed."
"WhRt was that?"
"Killing baseball umpires "
The Plain Truth.
"Was your friend suffering when I
law him, from convulsive con tor*
Hons?"
He; *m* ftta."
WHEN CHINA
"''iff' ^
yV ^g^l7?; _^X^dRBr52
a9HB $3$
B^kWhen
President Wilson's letter i
photograph was taken in front of the
includes President Yuan in the center,
and members of the legation staff.
ETON^POR
*
Cruelty in Weekly Run of Hounds'
and Horses.
Canon Defend* the Practice, Declaring
That He Thinks It Good and
Keeps Crusading Spirit From
Undesirable Activities.
London.?Almost under the walls of
Eton college a scene was enacted recently,
which, for sheer brutality, it
would be hard to beat. A hard pressed
hare which the boys of the college
had been hunting with a pack of
hounds (for beagles), maintained at
the college for this purpose, twice
swam the river with the pack close
behind and a half hundred boys yelling
like fiends on the banks, and was
in the act of swimming It a third time
when It was pulled under and killed
amid the enthusiastic cheers of tho
young Etonians who, of course, are
mostly the sons of noblemen and other
aristocrats, and form the nucleus
of the ruling class of the future in
this country.
This termination to the regular
weekly run of the Eton beagles was
a little more brutal than usual, but
not much more. The Eton beagleB,
which are supported by subscriptions,
nearly always succeeded in killing, as
the phrase goes, when the carcass of
the slaughtered hare is whirled triumphantly
round the head of the chief
boy whip and torn to pieces by th6
yelping pack, amid whoops of triumph
from a gloating field. A similar
triumph ot the Eton beagles, it
may be remembered, was recalled by
that noble sportsman. Lord Rossmore.
in his recent book of reminiscences
in these words:
"One of the prettiest things I ever
saw was a hare, very hard pressed, |
that took to the water and swam I
right out into the middle with all the |
hounds after her, but she was. unfor- j
tunately, so beat that she was
drowned from sheer exhaustion halfway
across."
The latest exhibition of brutality ]
at Eton has shocked humanitarians.
| and an infiuentially signed petition
; was presented the other day to Canon
, Lyttelton, the reverend head master
i of Eton college, begging him to do
away with the pastime of hare hunt,
ing at Eton, on the ground that its ef- t
| feet is "to stimulate cruelty among
I the young." This, by the way, is by i
no means the first petition of the kind
that has been laid before a head of
the famous college with a similar ob- J
Jcct. others in the past having been
signed by Herbert Spencer, Sir Fred- ,
erick Treves. Sir A. Conan Doyle, the .
late Ixird WoUeley and other famous
men. but all without avail.
After due reflection Canon Lyttelton,
who himself is the son of a lord,
has replied to the petition in a letter
In which he declines to do away with
the beagles, and an exceedingly re- j
markable letter it Is. To begin with,
this man of God, who, before becom- j
ing head master of Eton, was the
j nononiDie canon or sr. AiDans, ana j
who is the author, among: other books, [
of one called "Studies In the Sermon
of tho Mount." asserts that far from
there being an Increase of cruelty
among English boys, "many educators
are not without misgivings at the almost
unnatural gentleness of the modern
schoolboy compared with his forefather."
"How insignificant, then." says the
canon, "must the influence of this
kind of hunting be in the opposite di;
rection."
The reverend canon ends bis letter
' by daclaring that, "as far as possible,
! all cruelty has been banished" from
the hunting and killing of hares by
the Eton boys. Needless to say, his
shuffling apologia, as it is termed, has
called forth a broadside of withering
sarcasm. One of those who pay their
compliments in the canon in no uncertain
terms Is Sir Philip Burae Jones,
while among the reverend headmaster's
critics are several old Etonians,
one of whom, after recalling Lord
Rossmore's "pretty sight," remarks:
"That's my idea of how the youth
mi the nation should be brought up.
!
/ .
WAS RECOGNIZED BY
g K
i . HBHH^Hffij
i P- jft
?PL~*??d
HPS' -^fir
jkjk* ^pi . ^HHPI
4jr T&v cij^ %*.?S
ecognizing the Republic of China wa
i palace in Pekln formerly occupied by
members of his cabinet and staff, E. T
T^RIJTAL
and that's why 1 am in hearty sympathy
wfth Canon Lyttelton's reasoning.
Let him go on as he is going,
then he will run no risk of ofTending
Lord Rung, or Sir Gorglas Midas, or
other influential people who have
their sons at Eton. I was nearly seven
years there myself, and was never
troubled by any stupid humanitarian
teaching."
ROOSEVELT TO REDUCE FAT
Strenuous Colonel Will Ride Horseback
and Hunt Last Indians in
Arizona.
New York.?Ease ami an office chair
and too much sugar on his cereal have
done the trick for Colonel Roosevelt.
He's getting fat?again. There's only
one course possible to the vigorous
colonel when this bulbous condition
of the equator develops. He at once
riot orni Inoa t r? on t nut U'hftrft hn call
ride a horse and holler and work that
superfluity down to a hollow. So that
this summer, according to the gossip
that has fizzed up from Oyster Hay, he
will go out to Arizona and hunt for
a lost tribe of Indians. Incidentally,
he will re-discover the last hole in
his belt,
"Ixist Indians in Arizona?" said Doctor
Goddard of the department of anthropology
of the Museum of Natural
History. "Not precisely. Hut it is
true that there are some out there
that have never been found."
It appears that there are Indians
scattered all over Arizona?the Wallapais
and the Hopis and the IMnas and
Theodore Roosevelt.
the Papagoes and the Apaches, and
chief of them all the Navajoes. A
good many of them earn an honeRt liv
tng by giving an aboriginally modified
Bill show for the benefit of summet
tourists. Others keep sheep and
scream every time one touches sched
ule K. Still others peddle Massachu
setts blankets in bright colors to per
sons from Boston. And others live
out in the mountains, far from the
maddening white man, Just about at
their ancestors did about the time thai
Cortez discovered the toehold as e
means of getting rich quickly.
"The wildest lot," said Doctor Clod
dard, "are the Navajoes. They are
perfectly peaceful, but we have had nc
report on the tribes in the westerr
part of Arizona. There are met
twenty-five years old who have nevei
seen a white man. No doubt a visit
to them would be entertaining and in
structive."
It will he if the colonel is the vis
itor.
Lightning Kills Brakeman.
Landers, N. Y.?While standing or
top of a moving freight car, C. R
McCauley, a brakeman, was struct
by a bolt of lightning and killed, thui
putting to flight the old theory tha
lightning will not strike a xnovlni
railroad train.
*1
-3_ |
UNCLE SAM
R #
i
'
I
s rc-ad to President Yuan Shi Kal this
the empress of China. The group
. Williams, American charge d'affaires,
MUST SWIM FOR DIPLOMA
Columbia University Student Passer
Other Tests, but Balks at Swimming
Pool.
New York.?Columbia university
has taken a new stand in the matter
of graduation requirements. The authorities
declined to awurd a di,
ploma to Felix Metzger Ilosenstock
at the commencement exercises unless
he could prove himself cured of caroanserinusabmetu
In other words, there Is a rule at
Columbia that no college degree can
be won unless the candidate lias learned
Jo swim the length of the pool in
the gymnasium. The only exception
is allowed in case of physical disability,
attested by a physician's certiQ;
cate.
Ilosenstock, who passed all the other
examinations, completely balked at
swimming throughout his college
course, and as an excuse declared he
was suffering from a terrible skin disease
known as the caroanserinusabIlietu
He nhtaino<1 a nhvniei nn'ii alana.
ture to this statement.
The physical director could find no
visible trace of such a malady, but .
from a l^atln lexicon he evolved this
explanation of the student's affliction:
j "Caro, meaning tlesh; anserinus, resembling
the goose; abmetu from
fear; or, freely translated gooseflesh
! from fear."
j The authorities, however, did not
j have Biifllcient sense of humor to
cause them to extend leniency to Rosenstock.
CAT NO MATCH FOR HIPPO
Caliph II. Routs Louise Inglorlously
When He Plunges Into Big
Water Tank.
New York.?George Sichert, a keeper
in the Central park menagerie, was
aroused by a wild scrambling in the
cage of the hippopotamus. When ho
turned he saw the favorite mouser of
the menagerie, a cat named I^ouise,
lurched on the back of the park's bighippo.
The cat had been seized by the
tail and thrown into the quarters occupied
by Caliph II. by a mischievous
smnll boy.
Caliph was soon Imitating a bucking
^broncho, but to no avail. I^ouise had
secured a Arm hold with all her claws.
The grunts of Caliph II. started all the
lions roaring. Sichert edged into the
cage to remove the cat. but not quite
Boon enough. Caliph floundered into
the tank, and Ixmlse let go.
Sichert lifted the dripping cat out
of the tank with a broom. It was
only a few dayB ago that I^oulse went
to sleep in the hay and barely escaped
being eaten alive by the hippo.
WILLIAM TELL IS OUTDONE
Insane Voyager Tries to Shoot Cigarette
Out of Mouth of Jamaican
Negro.
New York.?When the steamer Oru
' ba was nearlng Cartagena, Colombia.
J Jovn George Cunningham of South,
an in, a first cabin passenger, forced
u minH-an negro to stand ten yards
1 1 away while he attempted to shoot a
' 1 cigarette out of his mouth. Cunningj
ham fired six shots before the noise
brought Chief Officer Green to the
( scene.
' Green tripped Cunningham up, but it
| took four sailors to lash his hands and
feet and cnrry him to tho hospital,
1 where I)r Morton declared the man
was Insane from alcohol. Cunnlnglium
' was put ashore at Colon in a straitjacket.
? I
.
Performs Own Wedding Ceremony.
\ Beaver, Pa.?Dr. Askelon Mercer,
seventy-five, and Sarah L. Calgrove.
sixty-five, performed their own marriage
ceremony in the presence of
witnesses here. This is the groom's
sixth matrimonial venture, and ho
declares that all former ceremonies
, were performed in the same manner.
i Girl Without "Perfect Feet."
I a Crosse, Wis.?"Perfect feet" Is
c the standard of the class formed by
i Miss Amanda Clement of the Young
t Woman's Christian association here.
I Not one in the first class of Mveoty*
1 five is without a pedal flaw.