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i THE FORT MILL TIMES PubttaM Evtry Thursday. FORT MILL, 80UTH CAROLINA. The father of the trolley car 1b dead. He left a large family. Let ub hope the sign painters will not adopt the cubist art. Currency reform can never make money any more popular. Philadelphia la trying to get up a corner in baseball championships. Headline says: "Aged 83 and Wants & Wife; Owns a Buggy." Also? Sometimes a mere look at one's purse will reduce the vacation fever. Possibly men ore going to raise whiskers Just to make the women jealous. "Without warning," writes a reporter, "the boom began to creak and groan." There will be a terrible run for erums when they begin to cure wrinkles. What will happen when a goat eats one of those ultramodern exploBlvo I golf balls? ?. A fortune of a million or so awaits a man named Brown. He ought to be easy to find. By a beneficent law of nature and trade the watermelon is cheapest j when It Is best. 7 77? . tn nifne nays wnen a dox is more or i Iobb indefinite, why not sell strawberries by the pound? No doubt the generous baseball fanB are willing to give their share of the rains to the farmers. Philadelphia has a school for milk- j men, but has to send itB mayor cIbo- i where for an education. The Sunday automobile fatality 1b now as regular in ItB occurrence as the Sunday drowning. llaseball is a popular sport In the canal zone, but Culebra cut continues to do most of the sliding. Men like to talk about their achievements, while women are content to talk about their neighbors. A Danish Inventor has contrived war machines to be covered by crops. ThlB .will make plowing exciting. The most fitting punishment for a bigamist would be a sentence to live with both his wives at once. Women are said to be wenrlng socks, but doubtless what they blushIngly ask ask for is half hose. The world must be getting bettor. \ The proprietor of a Chicago cafe advertiser the fact that he has no cabaret. A Denver man with a broken neck Is attending to his business?which is not the watching of bulloon ascensions. The alarm clock trude ought to prosper if the police succeed in putting a silencer on the eurly morning Iceman. Save your old umbrellas. Some genius bus discovered that it is possible to rob a bank with a fractured umbrella rib. Now Ih the oppartunlty for the scientist who can develop a mosquito that is as fastidious about biting as a brook trout. In defending a suit for sepnrate maintenance a man testified that his wife always won at poker The double Blgnlflcance of this is striking. As to thoso counterfeit $20 bills in circulation, you never have the slightest trouble In remembering where you got your 20s, do you? It is to be hoped that, the swatting of the fly having been raised to the dignity of a campaign, the usual language will not be used. ^ II New York church has hired a doctor | and dentlat to look after the health ; and teeth of worshipers. How about a tailor for the backsliders? Another of those useless noises Is the language Indulged In by the average baseball fan when the umpire makes a decision that doesn't please him. A Maryland farmer caught a black snake In the act of swallowing a cast iron rabbit. That explains the dlsappearance of the cast iron dogs and deer. Knickerbockers, such as the Yale boys have adopted, will be a great re' lief If they provide escape from the thralldom of keeping them pressed. A Qreek island, submerged before the Christian era, has recently come to the surface. Perhaps this will suggest diving real estate operations. Acting In an erratic manner Is not necessarily an Indication that a man Is In love. He may merely have been prevented from going to the ball time A MAN OFJYSIEM Oisojpline Was His Rule, but One Can't Prevent Young Folks Being Natural. By ALVAH JORDAN GARTH. *"You are a pretty hard old taskmaster, Adam Brill, and you can't make babies of your children forever." "I'm a man of Bystem, Asa Dunn. I bring my children up on a strict, right basis, and if anybody wants to diSDUte it. I'm taerp tn nrnfpot mv methods?not forgetting that, man and boy, for forty years, I have been the champion wrestler, boxer and sprinter of the county," and the speaker put Up a sample arm that a blacksmith might have envied. "No, no, friend Adam!" laughed hlB nearest neighbor, retreating promptly. "None of that for me! 1 know your prowess too well. Only I think you draw the line too tight with those two children of yours. Not but that both are the finest in the town. Morton is a model young man, and as to Luella, 1 envy the man who gets her for a wife." "That will be some time ahead, if I have anything to say about it," declared the stalwart Darent. "They have been motherless since they were very young, nnd I've felt a dou,ble responsibility in bringing them up.;right. Discipline and system have been my rule. It's' going to continue until Morton is twenty-tane?why. tfay, tlmt'tf tomorrow!" exclaimed Brill, "and 1 came near forgetting?" "What?" inquired Dunn, but Adam Brill was on his way and chuckling in his grim way to himself. He knew well enough "what"?and so ' did bright, lively Morton, his son. The old man. however, did not heat* 'thb brief soliloquy of the man he had just left to the effect that, ".You can't help young folks from being natural, no matter how hard you try." It was the twenty-first birthday of Morton Brill tomorrow, sure enough, and his father recalled it half with sadness, partly with a comical look TjJ * Adam Brill Was on His Way. on his face, as If it revived some whimsy that pleased him. Ever since Morton was fifteen years of age, Adam Brill had put in force an ironclad regulation of his own fierce tempered sire. Exactly one minute before the midnight hour he had made his son remove his coat. Regulurly he hud administered the Btrap?the strokes corresponding to the years attained. T\ien. when the performance was over, he would place iu the hands of the la<l exactly as many bright silver dollars as he was old. "The lHst time!" ruminated the obstinate old fellow, as he reached home and removed frdm a drawer in a kitchen cabinet the time-honored strap of castigation. Many a time had Morton thought of stealing it, of running away from home to evade the annual castigation. A thought of the money reward following the whipping, however, had kept him in line. "Last time!" soliloquized Brill. "Well, in a way I'm glad of it. This little reminder, though, has probably kept him the clean, honest lad that he is. Now he's a man. and a Kood one. Only Luella left .and In another year she will bo of age. I declare, how time rolls on!H At nine o'clock that night Luella came into the house from the garden, where her unsuspecting father supposed she had been with some girl friends. Her fair peachblow face was deliclously conscious and flushed, but Adam Brill attributed that to tho exercise of play or walking. Luella retired to her room. The old man glanced at the clock, placed the strap over the back of a chair, took off his coat and went out into the garden. "I told Morton to be here at nine o'clock sharp," grumbled the old man. "and it's after ten now. I wanted to give him a final' lecture before 1 gave him his last whipping. I suppose the rascal is keeping out of the way purposely, when I Intended- to make him a double present this time." Brill strolled out into the garden. As he neared the little summer house he chanced to glance up at the window of Luell&'s room. He was In time to see his daughter's head instantly disappear. Then as he entered the summer house he ran straight Into aome one. "You. Morton?" he cried, grabbing the figure. "Sneaking out of the way, eh? No, you don't! I thought you wae too wlae to fancy your dad couldn't handle you. old as he is." -?-? ............ .. . ,f.. T , In one Instant the athletic blood ot i the old man was on fire. His captive I had resisted his iron grasp. Then with a Buperb clutch he had his adversary on equal terms. Back and forth the contestants moved in a wrestling bout such as Adam Brill | had not enjoyed for many a year. And then, breathless, astonished, for the first time in his proud career worsted by an opponent fully worthy of his skill, Adam Brill was tripped and sent hurtling five feet away upon the soft grass, prostrate. "You've done it, Morton." he chuckled, "and I'm proud of you!" "I am not Morton," interrupted a calm, even voice. "Eh!" ejaculated Adam Brill, arising to his feet in wonder and staring strangely at an utter stranger. "Who are you, then?" "A respectable college graduate," was the evasive reply. onuuiu idim bo, ana you ve goi a 1 new wrestling trick I'll give yoli ten 1 dollars to teach me." "Tomorrow!" laughed the stranger, ' gaily, gave a run, a leap and was over 1 the rear fence and out of sight in a twinkling. 1 "Well, I never!" gasped the old man. "There's some mystery about this, hut the fellow is a good one. To think of It?never beaten at my own game be- j fore!" Adam Brill returned to the kitchen. His dqfeat had Bet him thinking, and had exhausted his vitality a trifle. It made him realize that he "was not as young as he UBed to be." He fell asleep, to awaken and find his son seated in a chair opposite to him. "Hell! Been asleep, have 1?" exclaimed the old man. "On hand and j waiting for the annual, eh, son?" "Not this time, father. You've overslept," and Mdrton pointed to the kitchen clock. "It's ten minutes after twelve, I'm of age, and we'll jbst shake hands and call it square." "CticEted out.of my regular pleasure, | eh?" stormed the old man, in a pretended rage. "Well, I won't; be mean, i Here's your present,' and he' extended a clinking bag. "I'orty-two dollars, j and when you get ready to Bettle down come to me for more." "Why, father," admitted young Brill , a little confusedly, "I'm ready right ; now. Myra Walcott has been waiting for me for over a year, and?you 1 won't object?" ( "Seeing as you are your own map- j j ter, I don't see how I can interfere," j answered the father. , "And. father?" "Well?" i "A young man was here tonight? I met him and he told me about it. You had a bout in the garden." "Eh! Who is he?" challenged the J father, sharply. < "Clyde Worthlngton, as fine a young fellow as you need to know. He's comintr lll>ro ni-llln tnmni-rnni " " ?o "Yes, to teach me that double elbow clutch of his!" cried old Brill, eagerly. "Yes, and to ask you for sister's hand In marriage. Adam Brill stormed, and fumed, but Clyde Worthington made so fine an impression when he called the next day that there was a double wedding in the old Brill homestead. (Copyright. 1913, by W. O. Chapman.) ! Woman's Long Service. Tho only womun lighthousekeeper in England, Mrs. JoyBon, kept her last watch, the other night at Hale, on the 1 banks of the Mersey. She is known at "the heroine of the Mersey." For twenty years she has lived in the lighthouse, and for four years, since the death of her hubsand, she has been the otllcial keeper. "Mylffe has not been an unhappy one here," Baid Mrs. Joynson, "and it is a wrench to go. I f Km giving up the appointment for the sake of my children, who wish <to live at Stockton. The commissioner has tried several times to persuade me to stay. He told me only the other day, 'You aro leaving with honor." i When my husband died in the light| house, I took up the duty on 'three | months' trial, and have continued till now. I have done duty for-'tbree and a half hours beforo and after high tide, and have to keep the light burning at night time, and thei fog bell ringing if necessary. On several occa- \ sion 1 have runs tho hell for tho whni<> I seven hours. One? we had nearly a 1 fortnight of fog, but I got through It 1 all right" | ( Interrupted Funeral. ( A funeral at liampstead (Middle , sex) cemetery was delayed by an extraordinary incident, a few days ago. Just as the procession was entering I the gates, a bulldog leaped at one of the horses drawing the hearsb, and I selling it by the leg, brought it heavily to the ground. The dog then shifted its grip, biting the horse in several places ai)out the front of the body, and finally fastened its teeth in f its muzzle. The horse's struggles ' were witnessed by many, but for 1 some time tho confusion was such j that all efforts to get ut the bulldog < were unavailing. A young woman to 1 whpm the latter belonged eventually < managed to grasp the collar, but it < was only after the animal had been ' stunned with a heavy piece of wood I that its jaws could be pried apart 1 and the horse released.?London Mail. ' Joys of Hospitality. "A motor car is a source of great pleasure, lBn't it?" "Yes," replied Mr. Chuggins. "Rut ' it has certain disadvantages. You j don't want to ride by yourself, and when you take out a party of friends they have arguments among themselves about how fast we shall travel ( and where we shall go. There Is only f one thing they agree about, and that y Is, If the machine breaks down, it's s . good Joke on me." MOUTH STAYED OPEN FOR FORTY MINUTES Both Dentist and Patient Were Greatly Relieved When Jaws Snapped Together. Chico, Cal.?F. M. Price, proprietor of Price's candy store on Broadway, Knows how it feels to have lockjaw, tie Buffered for forty minutes with it ind lives to tell the tale. And his experience is one that he is not desirous of having repeated. Price had some teeth that needed Sxing, and sought the services of a local dentist. The tooth manipulator spent fifteen minutes at the job, which required Price to keep his mouth wide open?a good deal wider than he is in the habit of doing. When the Job was completed and (V.? J * I ? * * ? k?t*j ucuuai Rtue me customary in- i structlons to "expectorate, please." | Price refused to expectorate. He simpler couldn't, that Is all. His Jaws reill His Jaws Refused to Come Together. fused to coine together, and all efforts of the dentist to bring them together failed. Price and the doctor became frightened. There was reason for fright. The doctor worked frantically for aid when a happy thought struck him. He braced liiu feet against the wall, | placed two thumbs into Price's yawning mouth and gave a sudden and unusual jerk. The jaws snapped togeth- 1 er with a sound like a pistol shot and ihe dentist came near being loser a pair of thumbs by the operation. Price declares that he never wants a repetition of the experience, and the doctor Bhudders when he speaks of it. The jaws were locked Just forty minutes by the clock in the dentist's office. Aside from a soreness In both jaws, ! Price was all right the next day. MAN BARKED LIKE A DOG Thought He Was Holding a Skunk at Bay?Animal Fast In Trap. Wlnsted, Conn.?By imitating the hark of a dog for a whole hour a Mount Carmel man standing behind a tree thought he held a skunk at bay for that period, but when his brother In-law, E. J. Richmond, arrived with j ii gun an<l dispatched the anlinal it \ was discovered that, a polecat wae ; fast In. a steel trap. 1 Richmond and the former's bull terrier were out in the country when the dog espied the skunk^ the loud hark InR of the terrier prompted the man to investigate, and they found dog and skunk facing each other, but some distance apart. Richmond volunteered to go back home, a halt hour's walk, for a gun. and left his l brother-in-law and barking dog on ituard m-er the skunk. On noting its ! matter's absence, the terrier abandoned its post and started post haste after him. Then from his position behind the tree, the brother-in-law began i imitating a barking dog, and every | time the skunk moved he barked. When Richmond finally returned with the gun, his brother-in-law ex Maimed hoarsely: "Kill that skunk luick," and he did as commanded, to he chagrin of both men. KITTEN PLAYS THE PIANO Prefers Tinkling High Notes as It Scampers Up and Down the Keyboard. Gentry, Mo.?A kitten belonging to he family of John EIUb of Gentry, is io fond of music it tries to play the piano. The rnt first shnunlfi lia ltHn<? *->? music by sitting near the piano when lome one was playing, listening in:ently. One day, when no one was In :he parlor, the cat sprang upon the teyboard. It walked over the notes. Members of the family, hearing the tounds, hastened to learn the cause. rYom that time, whenever the kitten Aas permitted to enter the parlor, it mmediately began?practicing on the ;>lano. Instead of walking slowly, as t did at first, it now runs swiftly from >nd to end of the keyboard. She likes the tinkling of the high rotes best. Sweet Desserts Banned. Boston.?Pie, pudding and other iwcet desserts are banned at Memorial tall and the 1,200 Harvard students sill now eat cereals as desesrt to T>ulld up their bralac." PRESIDENT WILSON E TO CONGRESS ON PRESIDENT URGES IMMEDIATE AC" RENCY REFORM?THE MESSA IN HISTORY OF " NEEDS OF COUNTRY'S BUSI Pertinent Reasons Why Measures Advc plained ip the Message?Ai of Great Interest t( Mr. Speaker, Mr. President, Gentle-iti men of the Congress: 1 It is under the compulsion of what q seems to me a clear and imperative e duty that I have a second time this v session sought the privilege of address- p ing you in person. 1 know, of course, d that the heated season of the year t: is upon us that work in these chant-1 s bers and in the committee rooms is likely to become a burden as the sea- s son lengthens, and that every consid- ; t eration of personal convenience and t personal comfort, perhaps. in thes cases of some of us, considerations s of personal health even, dictate an (t early conclusion of the deliberations n of the session; but there are occa- n si on 8 of public duty whbh these things 11 which touch us privately tHeeiu very ( small; when the work to be done is c so pressing und so frapglU with big I a consequence that we know that we p are not at liberty to weigh against ti it any point of personal sacrifice. ,We n are now in the presence of, such an v occasion. It is absolutely imperative r that we should give the bqsipes's 'men f of this country a bunk}ng und currency ' u system by means of which they can ii make use of the freedom of enterprise n and of individual initiative which we o are about to bestow upon them.' v We are about to set them free; we i must not leave them without the tools b of action when they are free. We o are about to set them free by remov- p ing the trammels of the protective tariff. Ever since the Civil war, they have v waited for this emancipation and for r the free opportunities it will bring : p with it. It has been reserved for us|c to give it to them. Some fell in love, li indeed, with the slothful security of a their dependence upon the govern- j c nienl; some took advantage of the, n shelter of the nursery to set up a p mimic mastery of their own witViih its v walls. Now both the tonic and the t discipline of liberty and maturity are a to ensue. There will be some re-ad-' a justments of purpose and point of i o view. There will follow a period of o expansion and new enterprise, freshly v conceived. It is for us to determine i< now whether it shall be rupid and ii fnf?<lo n.,.i * I unu XI cogj ui:?.i?HipilSllIIM'ni. 1 I This It cannot be unless the resource- e ful business men who are to deal a with the new circumstances are to c have at hand and ready for use the Instrumentalities and conveniences of free enterprise which independent t men need when acting on their own tl initiative. ( a It is not enough to strike the i; shackles from business.. The duty of ^ statesmanship is not negiitive mere-! o ly. It is constructive alsd. We must v show that we understand what bnsi- $ ness needs now; .and will needu increasingly as it gains in .&cope- ami (j vigor in the years immediately ahead .y of us, is the prQper means' by which (. readily to vitalize its ^credit, jcorpbrate j, and individual, and its ..originative I , brains. What will it profit us to :be free if we are not to haye tjry best n and most accessible instrumentalities of commerce, and enterprise? What 1 j, will it profit us to be quit'of ohe kind v of monopoly if we are to rehinitv'in the grip of another and more effective kind? How-are we to gain arid keep 11 the confidence of thd bu'&ihbss coin- v munlty unless we shdw that'we know * how both to aid and to protect it ? What shall we say if we make fresh ' enterprise necessary and ulso inake it very difficult by leaving all else except 1 tUe tariff just as we found it? The ^ tyrannies of business, big and little. ^ lie within the field of credit. We.know '' that- Shllll wo nnt nW w knowledge? I)o we not know, how to act upon It? If a man cannot make ; F his assets available at pleasure, his ? assets of capacity and character and " resource, what satisfaction is it to him ' h to see opportunity beckoning to him j ? on every hand, when others have the ; a keys of credit in their pockets and n treat them as all but their own pri- e vate possession? It is perfectly clear a that it is our duty to supply the new banking and currency system the coun- c try needs, and that it will immediately c need more than ever. j o The only question is, When shall F. we supply it?now, or later, after the ; v demands shall have become reproach- V es that we were so dull and so slow?!d Shall we hasten to change the tariff e laws and then be laggards about inak- V lug it possible nnd easy for the coun- r Mllledgeville.?The farming force of ( the state sanitarium is now engaged in threshing the large crop of grain l' produced at the institution this sea- 'v son under the direction of G. W. Hoi- It linshead, farm steward. The acreage o planted was a large one, and the yield P generous. Altogether the authorities A expect to thresh out several thousand N bushels. The force is now engaged i o in plowing in peas on the land upon o which the oat crop was grown, and v the thorough, systematic manner in & which this is being done guarantees a 1 P splendid crop of peas as well. . o I i. iENDS MESSAGE CURRENCY REFORM HON BY CONGRESSS ON CUfV GE ONE OF THE SHORTEST rHE COUNTRY. w INESS ARE POIkTED OUT icated by President Wilson Are Ear 11 Able Document Which is o the Country. ry to take advantage of the change? 'here can be only one answer to that uestlon. We must act now, at whatver sacrifice to ourselves. It is a duty which the circumstances forbid us to ostpone. I should be recreant to my eepest convictions of public obligu(on did 1 not press it upon you with olenm and urgent insistence. The principles upon which we hould act are also clear. The counry lias sought nnd seen its path in his matter within the last few years? ees it more clearly now than' it ever aw it before?much more clearly han when the last legislative proposlls on the subject were mude. We nust have a curreiicy, not rigid as iow, but readily, elastically responsive o sound credit, 'the expanding and ontracting credits of every-day transitions, the normal ebb nnd flow of ersonal and corporate dealings. Our tanking laws must mobilize reserves aust not permit the concentration anywhere in a fe\y hands of the monetary esources of the "country or their use or speculative purposes in such volme as to hinder Wrl impede or stand a the way of other more legitimate, aore fruitful uses. And the control f the system of banking, not priate, must be vested in the governuent Itself,, so that the hanks may ie the instruments, not the masters, f business and of individual enteririse and initiative. The committees of the congress to which legislation of this character is eferred have 4evoted careful and disassionate study to the means of acotnplishing these objects. They have lonored me by consulting me Thov re ready to suggest, action. I have ome to you, as the head of the government and the responsible leader of the iarty in power, to urge action now, .'hile there is time to serve the counry deliberately and as we should, in clear air of (common counsel. I "i ppeul to you with a deep conviction > f duty. I believe that you share this ^ -|/ onviction. 1 therefore appeal to you " ^ ,ith contldence. 1 am at your servse without reserve to play my part 11 any way you may call upon me o play it in this great enterprise of xigent reform which it will dignify nd distinguish us to perform and disredit us to neglect. Griffin.? Through the continued eforts of A. \V. McKeand, secretary of lie southern commercial 'secretaries* dsociation, there has been perfected n Griffin a board df trade, which beins its career with a membership of ne hundred and twenty-five, and kith funds in hand amounting to over 4.000. Savannah.?In an effort to escape- a letective, Morris Kramer, a - young uistrian. wa? nearly suffocated in a loset in "a \Vefet IJ road street rftore. junior is' Van red lh New ^ork for he abandonment of his wife and sevral children. He has been in Savanah several weeks a's a clerk in a lothing store, and; According to the olice," was planning .to marry a: Saannah/woman. , ( . Savannah.?'At a police court hearng Prank Rivers, the negro chauffeur ho ran over iimi lrtiioa \ti?~ .uido ?*utry loore on Thursday, was held b'arae?ss by Recor&er Schwartz. The ocupunts of the car, .Miss Ruth Ely and er visiting guest, Miss Catherine 'rampton of Mobile; Miss Virginia Vrlght of Wilmington, N. C., and li'sa Perkins of , Savannah, appeared r? court to testify for the negro, who as driving them. , _ Athens. ? Commisstojier-elec.t dim 'rice of the agricultural department f the state, state<f in reference to lie generally circulated report that e might appoint Dan G. Hughes, son f Congressman Dudley Hughes, as ssistant commissioner, that he had ot made an appointment nor promisd an appointment to anybody or for nybody. Terry.?A deed was filed in the lerk's office superior court, and re hiutru. in wnicn tne consideration set ut in the deed was one pair of ierskliire pigs, and the property coneyed being one acre of land near ^'ellston, (Ja.. in which is a small welling house. / The deed was exeuted by C. H. Hardison to Thomas Murray of Wellston, a breeder of egistered lterkshire hogs. Augusta. ? The business houses losing, there were probably 3,000 ? eople gathered on Barrett plaza hen the heroic bronze statue of the ite Senator Patrick Walsh, mounted n a mammoth matble pedestal, was resented to the city and accepted by layer I* C. Ilayne from the Walsh tentorial association. The addresses f the occasion by Hon. Clark Howell f Atlanta, and Hon. Pleasant A. Stoall of Savannah, both of whom knew lr. Walsh intimately, were aymathetic and held the rapt attention. f the big crowd.