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wmm * THE FORT MILL TIMES PubNikiil Every Thursday. FORT MILL, SOUTH CAROLINA. Loafing as a steady job seems to be Inculcated by this brand of weather. It Is time to teach Towser that all really fashionable dogs wear muzzles. You will have to do your own swab ting. The regular fly cops have othot duties. t Here's hoping the home team can let all the goose eggs remain In cold Btorage. - . While swatting the fly 'tis well to remember to cover the pugar and but- ; ter bowls. In the National league they are ! passing the pennant hopes around for | general Inspection. ? Monte Carlo Is reported to have cleared nearly StO.OOOjQOO last year. So. what's the use? ' Ono complicated way' of being unnappy Is envying the mpi) who has to worry about the Income tax. New Jersey has barred the sharptipped hatpin. Thus It will be no Joke, even If the cops see the point. To the mind of the rough neck, there's no doubt that there is more than one simp In simplified spelling. Yes. he's In again. The pest appeared In our office yesterday with that eternal question,* ,"|s It hot?" That Chicago man- whose goat chewed up his }1,000 wad. should feel at least, that there Is money in goats. That young woman who plays the piano with her feet must be able to put her whole sole Into her selections. The man who tries to hide behind a woman's skirts in this year of grace must bo thinner than his own yellow streak. A large number of our American giris nave married rich men. only to j find that they have poor husbands on 1 their hands. Automobiles have been with use for fifteen years. What means of Joy riding will bo provided for use fifteen years hence? There Is no sense In littering the streets In the fond expectation that the school children will clean them op some time. It has frequently been said that the wife Is the better half, but assuredly, hubby clasps tho honor when the baseball season opens. Newest skirts for women have pockets In them Just like a man's. Well, j anyway, they will never contain plugs of chewing tobacco. "Shot at sunrise" continues a popular pastime In Mexico, but there's lots of regular fellows who are half shot j long before midnight. Are the high steps on street cars j an argument against hobble skirts or are hnhhle sltlrfa nn nririimont against the high steps on street cars? Virginia young man drove two miles before discovering that his best girl had fallen out of the buggy. Maybe he was driving with a rein in each hand. Anyway those womon whose babies do not win a prize at a baby show, have the satisfaction of enter tatnlng a distinct opinion about the judges. And now Chicago is censoring the | modern song?and properly so. per- j haps. Anyhow, they can't censor a , whistle. Some one has told us that a girl with painted cheeks is like a stale ! glass of beer?nice to look upon but very disagreeable to the taste. If the neighbors keep feather minstrels In their poultry yards you will find no difficulty in waking up early every morning about daybreak. In France lately the top fell off of a mountain, destroying gnrdens and orchards. This seems very careless. They should have better land laws. 'Tls no wonder that Faris is regard ed afl n city of high flyers. It is reported there are nearly a thousand registered aviators living within its confines. Dr. Josiah Oldfleld of Ix>ndon Is of the opinion that those incapnblo of falling In love should be drowned. Hut then there are those who fall in and swim out. This country consumes $.17,000,000 worth of breakfhst food annually, and yet some people kick at the Idea of putting wood pulp on the free list. The largest courthouse In the world la being built down in New York, and it would be difficult to think f a place where it Is needed more. "Come, live In my heart, and pay no rent," warbled the inspired poet. More easily arranged, we dare say. than meeting the monthly installments of the bungalow. f HIS WORSEJiATURE It Is Each Man's Double and Becomes Harmless When Conquered. By ALTON EDWARDS. Nobody except the Governor knew that he had a double?not even the Governor's wife, who knew him, perhaps, better than anybody else. The two men resembled each other so completely that it would have been impossible for their most intimate acquaintances to distinguish them. If there was any distinction, It was that the expression of character and sincerity upon the face of the state's chief executive was replaced, upon the face'of the other man, by a certain furtive cunning. From his earliest years Governor Haines had been engaged in a constant fight against this man. He had intruded into his life, had placed him In invidious positions, had. in general, committed actions which had needed all the governor's ability .to nullify. And he had followed him even to the executive chamber, blackmailing him, offering compromises, threatening. The executive mansion was totally unguarded. In that sleepy lltle capital town formalities had not come into favor. The double strolled quiet^ across the lawn, entered the mansion and made his way to the Governor'*? office. His secretary, nodding at his desk, bowed to him. unconscious that this could be anybody but the Governor HaineB he knew. "Mr. Searles has telephoned that he will be here* in half an hour, sir," said "I've Finished With You." me secretary. The double nodded, passed Into the executive chamber and sat down at his desk. That he had an Intimate knowledge of all the Governor's business was evident, for he began scrutinizing papers and emptying pigeon holes and reading memoranda. Hut he was awaiting the arrival of Searles, the state boss, with ill-concealed impatience. He knew that the man was interested in the proposed street railroad franchise, that he had been pestering Governor Haines for weeks to sign the bill now awaiting his decision. And he had not omitted to threaten. It mennt the Governor's political future, the decision which was impending. The secretary looked in. "Mr. Searles is waiting to see you, sir," ho said. Tho state boss entered. He was evidently ill at ease, for he held his hat tightly and sat down nervously in the chair which the double offered him. The double swung round in his own chair and faced his visitor. "You have called with regard to that rallrond franchise bill?" he asked. Searles cleared his throat and nodHprl T linn nlnplnir h(o Kn* " ? ' the Governor's desk, ho began: "Now, Governor Haines, we have threshed this matter out, among others, for a long time. I have tried to ally you with the better Interests of the state, but I have failed. I have pointed out to you that?I may speak plainly?' "Surely," answered the double, smlli lng, and something In the double's ex5 pression sent new hope into Searles' heart. Hitherto he had always been up agninst an impermeable barrier of character and rectitude. Now?this man seemed almost to cringe before him. Searles had not ruled men for ; thirty years for nothing. He knew that this was the moment to terrorize ?to bully. These means would succeed where others had failed. "You got my letter. Governor?" he nsked, his lips parting in a wolfish smile. "Well, it amounts to this. If you don't sign that bill you won't havo the renomlnatlon next year. That, of course, goes without saying. Hut I'm going to do more than that. I'm going tb drive you out of public life altogether. Twenty-five years ago, when you were a young man, you were involved in a scandal. You know what I mean. The people of this state won't stand for nnything of that kind in their chief magistrate. Will you sign the bill or will you bo exposed?" "The man who was involved in that scandal was not I. It was n double of mine," thought the double; but of course it was not to his interest to "betray himself. He merely looked at Searles with a faint smile. And Searles understood that smile. "Let us come to the point, Governor," he said, "tt's no use shillyshallying or beating about the bush." He drew a paper from his pocket bearing the Governor's signature. "This is your obligation for five thousand dol% } H'-V lars," be said. "May I tear thla Into pieces and throw them into your waste-basket?" It was strange, the extraordinary revulsion that came over the double. He had his enemy at his mercy, this Governor Haines who had hated him since their boyhood, and on whom he could now take effective revenge. Suddenly he felt that his whole mental attitude was changing. He thought of the man, bravely and silently fighting down the scandal of his past life, of his uncompromising battle for purer politics. He stretched out his hand impulsively and took his pen, and in large letters wrote at the bottom of the bill 'vetoed.' He held it out toward Searles. Searles seemed completely nonplussed. For a whole minute he stared at the vetoed bill. Then he got ? Y ?uu ouvwvucu wu t HID ilUIlU. "Governor Haines," he Bald, "I think the world of you. You have won the fight and I'm man enough to recognize it.. You'll have the people on your : side now?and I don't kick againBt the prickB. You've bested me and you'll | have the entire SearleB organization with you when we offer you the nomi- 1 nation." He shook Haines by the hand and walked slowly out of the otfice, shak- ; ing his head. The double at the desk, however, was even more disconcerted than Searles. Why had he done this thing, he whose whole life had been dominated by hatred of his enemy? He must have dozed, for 'some min- i uteB later, when he looked up. he saw his enemy before him. Governor Haines was looking steadily at him, | but he evinced no surprise. "Let's fight'. this thing out right now," he said. "I've finished with you. i I shall never temporize with you again. I have compromised and reared you; henceforward it i3 war between us for ever." "If you had told me that twenty-five years ago I should never have troubled you at all," answered the double, humbly, rising. Governor Haines did not answer him, but watched him leave the room. The sleepy secretary outside did not ' notice him pass. Nor would he have seen him even had he looked for him. | Each man has his double, his worse nature. Hut when he has conquered him the double becomes a harmless wraith, transparent as a breath of marsh air that is dispersed in the sun- i light. (Copyright, 1&13. by W. G. Chapman.) LOVER OF GRACE DARLING Jimmy Giles of Ipswich, Eng., Once Courted Famous Life-Saver?But 3he "Wouldn't Leave Daddy." Jimmy Giles of Ipswich, Eng., who I for nearly 60 years was dock gateman and assistant engineer, is a link with the past, inasmuch as he was the j sweetheart of Grace Darling. Listen to the following conversation with the old seaman and live over again the memories of that brave exploit near Longstone Lighthouse that made immortal history: "When a young man I took a cargo : of salt from Ipswich to Sunderland. ! While there I left my brig and was ' made coxswain of a cotyle that supplied Longstone Lighthouse with provisions. "This was in 1839, and as Grace's great deed took place the previous > year I was anxious to meet the famous girl. On my first trip in the coble I saw her standing at the lighthouse door, but, although I tried to drew her attention, she got behind the door. "The next time 1 visited the lighthouse I took a silk handkerchief full of grapes and gave the lot to Grace v.hen I saw her. She thanked me, and we got on well. "Grace was not handsome, but she was passable, with dark eyes and hair, j and a face bronzed by the sea air, and conveying a sense of purity and innocence that I have never beheld in any other. "She wore very short skirts and a j dark blue Scotch cap. which suited her well. She was as good as any suilor, and could set a sail or pull an oar with the best of them. "Her father, an old man, nigh 70. was a very old-fashioned man, and always wore drab knee-breeches and buckled shoes, with a sparrow-tail coat, big waistcoat, and a round skull- ! enp trimmed with fur. He didn't think i much of my carryings-on with her. "She Bhowed me her presents, including a gold slipped in a scarlet morocco case, which the Czar of Russia sent her. *She was often asked to go to London, but she wouldn't leave 'Daddy.' And. although 1 became her sweetheart, that was the reason she gave me for not marrying, and so we j drifted apart."?Stray Stories. | No Damages for Uncaught Fish. A suit for damages for the loss of fish one might have cnught was before the courts of Maine in an injunction action against a canning company for unlawfully dumping into Passema- j quoddy bay a lot of decayed sardines in cans. They had been swept by the tides into the plaintiff's weir and prevented fish from getting Into it until the refuse matter was removed. The supreme court awarded him damages for injury t-? his nets and for the expense of hiring men to remove the dehd sardines to permit live flBli to enter the weir, but gave him nothing for the fish he might have caught in the meantime. Bilklns' Flop. "Here is Rilkins. a Republican all his life, as his father and grandfather were before him, turns Democrat in the hope that he's going to get a postoffice apolntment." "Yes; he has sold his birthright for a mess of postage."?Buffalo Express I I WEDDING RIVALS A ' MOVIEffSCENARID Indian With Tomahawk Placed Far in the Rear. CARRIED SIX-SHOOTER Youth Declares Bride's Big Brother Held a Revolver Instead of Indian Father's Tomahawk, but With the Same Results as in Film. Chicago.?The thrilling adventures of the hero of the motion picture scenario, who becomes entangled in a chain of circumstantial evidence and is forced at the point of papa Indian s tomahawk to marry an Indian squaw, have nothing in the line of thrills ot. the matrimonial experience of Francis Plynn. The difference is purely one of local color, and, anyway, an Indian with a tomahawk is not half so dangerous as a brother who owns a saloon and carries a six-shooter. To all of which Hero FYancls testified the other day in the bill he brought In the circuit court to obtain the annulment of his marriage to the erstwhile Miss Frances O'Shaughnessy, the desperate villainess in the case. The plot had its beginning upon a pommonplace street of the south side Nov. 10, 1010. All unaware of the ambush that had been laid for him. Francis that day left his home at 6:107 Yale avenue, he relates, and sauntered happily down the street. lie rounded a corner, and suddenly his assailants were about him. Rig brother O'Shaughnessy, keeper of the saloon and six-shooter, leaped upon hint, while Sister Frances hissed out tho mysterious words: "That's him!" Whereupon the burly saloon owner displayed his trusty weapon and. after issuing a hoarse command for silence, bade the beset hero: "Youso come wit' me!'v The trail followed by the two banditti and their captive led to Crown Point. Ind. A/id the end was not yet. "A pretended justice cj the peace." the disgruntled husband recites, "was asked by the brother to marry me and his sister. There I stood and there stood she, and there stood the' brother with his hand on the butt of the revolver he was concealing in his bosom. "I was asked to take the woman ?o be my wedded wife, and ? admitted that I would, for?for I knew that 'f ! said anything else I would be shot "Youse Come Wit* Me!" down like a dog?like a dog," and the dramatic plot was made complete. Flynn states that his age at the time of the marriage was less than the legal one for marriage without the consent of his parents, lie declares that he was forced "at the point of the deadly weapon" to perjure himself as to his age. He also declares that sinc*e his marriage he and Mrs. Flynn have not lived together. The young woman nnd her alleged bloodthirsty brother seemed content with the mere mock ceremony. .lust what motives underlaid the plot on the part of the brother and sister have not been given out. It is believed, however, that should the public demand a sequel, a motivp as highly breathless with interest as the climax itself will be gladly furnished. CAT AND RATTLER BATTLE First Snake Story of Season Comei From California Vouched for by Woman. San llernardino, C'ul. ? The first snake story of the season comes from Victorviile. where It is related that at thf? hnrnp nf \1pc a ????? 11? big torn cat had h battle with a giant rattler and came off victorious by not only killing the snake, but also aU the viper's head, poigon sacks and all ?nd is still alive and healthy. The cat discovered the reptile lr the bedroom of the HayeB home anc gave it battle, the attack lasting foi several minutes before his snakeshii was finally conquered, when Sii Thomas dragged it proudly from thf room and laid the remains at the feel of his mistress, who promptly proceed ed to faint. Department "Where They ni ASHINGTON.-r"That Is the place t I Tf where they send out seeds." v This 1b the familiar formula which b many Washington guides use in de- n scribing to tourists the wonders of n the department of agriculture. This ii Information was given through a meg- t | aphone by the conductor of the rubber- t neck wagon to his patrons as they pass in front of the old- red brick ad- t ministration building. Officials and c clerks within hearing of this brief de- t I scription throw down their pens (or. 1 for the sake of pleasantry, should it $ be their newspapers?) and take on a 1 look of disgust and injured pride. For t3 bo many thousand of strangers to be p given the information or to get the \ t Impression that the feature of work t for which the great department of Ag- j t rtculture has made Itself famous or i notorious is the sending out of seeds c ! Is monstrous. One of the humiliating features of the whole business is that \ the tourists appear to like it. They c look with the proper awe-stricken ; j siare and seein to be greatly im- j e I Rep. Johnson "Nearly" Hai Representative albert johnson. ( the handsome nnd vociferous member from Oregon, nearly had a fine speech printed in a faraway const paper for which Harry Brown is the Washington correspondent. Johnson used to be a newspaper | man in this city. He was night editor ! nnM r?r*ttv oillfnr onH rorinrtor onH oil ' the regular things which an supposed to give newspaper men that broad and t sympathetic view of large affairs. Johnson made a speech during the , general debate on the tariff bill a few , days ago. It 'was his first speech in the House. It was a good Bpeech. j taking it by and large, but the air was f | jammed full of speeches about that ( time and the only newspaper that was ( ( publishing them was the Congres- ( sional Record. j However, Mr. Johnson did uot want j Portland to go unfed with crumbs . from his table, so the evening fol- i lowing the great event of his speech < he started out to find Harry Brown ' and tell him all about it. He couldn't ( I find Mr. Brown until the next day. < "Say, Harry," he remarked, "I tried 1 to find you last night, but I couldn't. ( I made a speech yesterday." I That did not impress Mr. Brown to . any great extent, so Mr. Johnson con- i More Americans Go to T EIGHTY-FIVE American men and women teachers have just set out for the Philippines. This number was selected from a large eligible list certified by the United States civil service commission as having the necessary education and experience and having passed the required examtna tion for the Philippine teaching service. They came from nearly every state in the union, representing some of the best universities, colleges and normal schools in this country. Most of them are college graduates, some ; have done graduate work in the uni; versities and others have pursued Animal Statues As Lawn I ANIMAL stntues as outside decorations for houses seem to multiply i 1 when you look for them, and they always seem to be coming into view in ; places where you had hitherto overI ~ ~ 1. .1 ( luunru i iititi. In front of the big four-story yellow ! brick house at the northwest corner of 16th and 1' streets, next door south | of Foundry Church, are two white lions. Apparently they have Just leic ' the covered porch and are strolling down the walk which leads from the front door to the sidewalk?that Is, they appear to be walking because , j each lion has his right foreleg lifted. , ! They are also keeping step. The pallor, or the whiteness of the beasts indicate that they are young lions and ' have not long heen exposed to the wear and tear and dust incidental to J guarding a doorway on a much traveled street. They appear to be twins. Kach is the same size and the attitude of each is the eame; each has his head turned to the southeast as though looking 1 down the avenue of the presidents. They may have heard some one old -r ON CITY Send Out the Seeds" ressed with the department "where hey Bend out seeds." "I wish you would write a piece for he paper," 6ald a high functionary of he department, "and correct the altoether too prevalent notion that the sain objects and the main usefulness f this department are concerned with ending out seed. "I have talked to some of these rubberneck conductors. I have urged hem to enlighten the pilgrims for .hose Instruction they are responsive. upon the vast work of this departnent In relation to meteorology, anloal Industry, animal husba'ndry. plant ndustry, forestry, chemistry, soils, enomology, biology, publications, statists, public roadB and the like. "1 have recommended these guides o acquaint their patrons with some if the valuable work being done by he bio-chemlc, pathological and zoooglcal divisions, by the plant patholorlsts and physiologists and the pomoogists. by the soil bacteriologists, the lendrologlsts, the microchemical ex>erts, the sharps in enologlcal chemlsry, by the agrostologists, the work;rs in solar radiation, agricultural ^ echnology, silvics. synthetic prodicts. pharmacological work. insecti:ldes, fungicides and all "that. "However, when the rubberneck vagon goes by on Its next trip the :onductor bellows through the mega>hone: 'This Is where they send out teeds.' " j His Speech Printed lued to further explain: "And as 1 thought your paper would vant It, I filed about 800 words of It vlth the telegraph company." Brown winced. His paper had been idvising him to cut down the tariff itufT to the bone, ae most of it was he sort of soft pap that goes well in 1 lie country districts, but hasn't much * ^ :irculatlon in a well regulated newspaper. Furthermore, Brown investigated and found that Representative Johnson had really filed 1,500 words? 11111 nit* icieKrupii ions 10 uregon are enormous! He had visions of being 'fired" by wireless, but he discovered :o his great relief that his paper had chopped the speech in two before it was entirely relayed to Portland from Chicago, thus saving a lot of time and : rouble and costing Representative lohuBOn a whole lot of money for halt i speech to Chicago. each in the Philippines technical courses preparing them tc take charge of agricultural work manual training and trade school work and domestic science. A fact not generally known is that the average term of service of American teachers in the Philippines is nearly six years, almost a year longer than the average service of teachers in this country. Those leaving at this time go to the Philippines under a two-year contract. This provision is made to enable the government tc ascertain whether or not the teacher will succeed In the new lleld and also to give the teacher a chance to find out whether or not there la a sufficient future to the service to warrant him In remaining. That there are only eighty-five vacancies .this year out of nearly seven hundred positions for American teachers in the service, indicates, so the insular bureau officials say, that those already on the ground have the greatest faith in the future of the educational work in the islands. Decorations In Favor ,j-t .LJ. proachlng front that direction. They are walking with a stealthy tread and if they were not cold marble lions one might thing that thoughts of evil were in their mliwU 4 The path they follow leads across a green lawn at the street edge of whlcli is a row of tulip trees, sometimes called yellow poplars. A row of hard maples is in the parking between the sidewalk and the curb. It is green I and shady there, but, as every one knows, a much frequented part of the ( city and these lions if so Inclined could count thousands of automobiles I passing in the course of a day and about as many in the course of an evening. I I '