f
THE FOOT MILL TIMES
PvbHtiMd Every Thursday.
FORT MILL, SOUTH CAROLINA.
* - It'a
the bill, not the bird on daughter's
hat, that interests daddy.
A boy's idea of a negotiable assel
la anything he can trade for a doT
What do astronomers and calendai
makers know about spring, anyway1.
A pretzel Is beautiful, not only in
Its shape but in its keeping qualities.
*1
The brl.-ht colors of the bluebird
seem more popular with this season's
prlng girl.
A member of the new French cab
lnet Is named Louis Klotz?yesv the
French cabinet. . (
* a
Milwaukee now has a hatpin ordl
nance. Men are gradually'* coming
Into th?l.
vuvn l 1011 IS.
Nothing so dlBgusts an elder);
woman as a younger woman's treatment
of her baby.
An English servant remained with
the family for 70 years,' probably being
too feeble to quit.
A hair fraud In New York Involves
a large sum, and there are otherB
that don't Involve bo much.
The winter may have been unduly
mild, but It is to bo said for It that H
was an easy one on the poor.
By the way. has your wife begun
to ofTer thone little suggestions about
ft vacation trip next Bummer?
A colllo failed to choose between
two putative owners In court, lamely
ending a most promising dog story.
If a minister wishes to do partlcu
larly effective work he should hi
good-looking and remain unmarried.
Grand children of Napoleon are reported
to be living In Los Angeles.
Still, France Isn't perturbed over the
fact.
To be abreast of the times lettei
carriers should organize an artistic
revolt against parcel post Impression
Ism.
A magazine writer declares It Is
easier to live on |15 a week than on
$16,000 a year, but we wonder how he
knows.
Momuers or the militia can get high
grade shoes for $1.50 a pair. This is
another argument tor equal rights to
women.
No nation addicted to baseball has
a war on hand, and no such nation
wants a war before the close of the
season.
There is talk of wiping ov\ New
York's Chinatown. It took an earthquake
to accomplish this result in San
Francisco.
Tripping while trying to save hit
bicycle, a Gothamite burned to death
On account of pedal extremetles, sc
to speak.
Talk is not cheap after nil, when it
Is considered that it costs $18 per
mlnuto to talk from New York to
Ban Francisco.
Vincent Astor la giving an example
to the rich young inen who begin their
careers hy sowing wild oats, in raising
tame ones.
In the competition among fashionable
young men to see who can raise
the smallest mustache there are a lot
of prize winners.
Nevada allows her criminals to
choose their own death means, but,
b a vpt nnhnrtv hna uol oot nH or* nwor.
dose of cream puffs.
The Cornell Btuclent, who lived on
85 cents a week and failed !u mathematics,
evidently hid his own system
of bookkeeping.
gome one of the office wits has said
that love being the quest, marrlago
must be the conquest, likewise, why
not dtvorco the Inquest?
A newspaper writer sayB It Is easier
to live on $15 a week than $15.000
a year. And It's our bet that he's
never tried tho latter.
Rurglars got $250,000 worth of
Jewelry from ono New York Pawn
shop. Perhaps New YorkcrB use such
places as storago vaults.
An eastern genius has invented a
machine to count bank notes from
a pile nnd register the total amount.
It is improbable, however, that an attempt
will be made to cater to family
trade.
Boiled down, the average annual expenditure
for stamps In the United
States is |2.f>0 per capita. We had
no Idea that our correspondence was
so heavy.
A Chicago professor says that the
human race will some day be toothless.
Those will be great daya for
the canned soup Industry.
Now It Is reported that women are
to adopt suspenders for their sklrta
Can maa retain possesion of his badge
authority much longer?
. . i
M it
"FRAT GUYS BOOBS"
SAYS WASHED TRAMP
Hobo Looks on College Life as
Nothing to Be Proud of
i After Bath.
Evaneton, 111.?George Henderson
aya there Is no fun in being a college
"frat guy." He knows, because
he tried it for a while the other day.
George belongs to the vast army of
unwashed and Is as loyal to the traditions
of his society as any hobo who
ever chalked a cross on a back fence.
Naturally anything that necessitates
familiarity with soap and water calls
for disapproval.
He made the mistake of picking out
I the back door of the Sigma Alpha Epslloq.
lodge at 1614 Hlnmau avenue a*
ii- tt m
^ j ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ | j ^
Applied Strong Soap Vigorously.
ft promise of pie. He knocked and '
] stood ready to deliver his usual hard
, luck appeal.
rne n&ndB of Crawford Warrden,
full back on the Northwestern unlver- 1
sity team, gripped him. He wan dragged
inside, where a half dozen others
were congregated.
Strong arms enticed him to the bath- I
rocui upstairs. Strong soap, applied 1
vigorously, ellcted equally strong but
Impotent protests.
Trunks were rummaged and Qeorge 1
was fitted out with a light canvas coat,
white tennis trousers, straw hat, red '
and white shawl and white canvas
I "pumps." Then he was put through
a series of initiation stunts. Finally
he was given a meal and 76 cents and
turned out. He almost had reached 1
the city limits when the police got
him.
"FYat guys, huh!" ho exclaimed. "All
them boobs think about is takln' a i
bath. Who wants to be a frat guy?"CRAVES
BATH BY TEACHER
Boy Never Was in Tub and Envies
Youth Who Gets Cleanliness
Prist.
Gary. Ind.?Pai>l Chuchu craves a j
J UHX11.
Paul Chuchu Is 8 years old, a pupil
of the Froebel school, and somewhat
soiled. Also he Is envious?envious
of that swaggering Andy llatrack, 7year-old
braggart, who boasts of his
Intimacy with bathtubs?"dad blarne
fni"?and flaunts a red necktie as a
proof that he Is the cleanest gentleman
in the grude. The grade is the
: first and Is presided over by Miss
j Laura Knaggs. who recently presented
the tie as a prize for cleanliness. 1
Paul Chuchu glowered all day long
at Andy llatrack nnd his brilliant tie.
He waited after school.
"I want to be gave a bath," Paul de!
mauded of Miss Knaggs when the oth'
era had fled from the room. "I ain't
never had tone yet. Hut don't you
tell Andy llatrack that. 1 wants you
to give me a whole bath. Wash me
up an' downs. "Cause If yer don't give
me a whole bath, I'll?I'll punch Andy
Hatrack on the bean, 1 will."
Miss Knaggs was convinced of the
urgency of action. Her Investigation
developed the fact that there never
had been a bathtub In the Chuchu
household, but one will be borrowed
r.nd the bath given.
BEAR WRESTLER PUT IN JAIL
_______
He Fights Humane Society Agent
Who Reproves Him?Bears
Were Also Arrested.
Allentown. Pa.?Following n lively
wrestling match on the streets of
this city the other day. James n. Ptui
ber, agent of the I.ehigh County Humane
society, and Pierre Teyrent, an
! Alpine animal trainer, with two giant
bears belonging to the latter, apparently
as much Interested as the spectators.
Teyrent and his bears were
arrested and locked dp in the local
Jail.
Teyrent was charged with assaulting
the humane society's officer and
the bears were to await the outcome
of the hearing before Alderman Rower
Officer Stuber claimed that Tey.
rent's treatment of the bears was not
only Inhuman, but that they frightened
passing horses.
Teyrent resented 8tuber'a interference
and a fifteen-minute scuffle ensued,
culminating la the arrest of the
Aw
Quite English, Old Top, Ui
nr ASHIXQTON.?"We are going to
fw be quite EngliBh, old top," remarked
a-western statesman as he lighted
his corncob pipe and chunked up the
wood fire in one of the old committee
rooms In the capltol the other morning.
"I see by the public prints that
there are a number of Innovations In
parliamentary practice before us, with
some changes in habitat. Yep, that's
the word, though I don't know that
the folks out In Pike county can
parse It.
"There's this here Installation of
benches In the house Instead of deBks
that kinder interests my bucolic mind.
Those old desks were mighty convenient
to h'lst a foot on when you had
that weary spring feeling. Then you
could keep a plug of tobacco, and a
jackknlfe and a whole lot of things in
there, as well as a big red apple and
a sandwich brought from home In
your coat-tail pocket.
"Hereafter we are to come into the
half and pick out any bench that's vacant.
and nigh to the front; deposit
our silk hats?for of course, we will
have to wear stovepipes?on the floor,
and keep a close eye on It lest your
Congressman Murdock's
VICTOR MURDOCH, the Kansas Insurgent
congressman, not long ago
toured Mexico with a party of newspaper
men from the states, he being a
pencil pusher when not working at
nnlUf ao I** "
in inuuouict>vi', uu inuian
village on the narrow neck In Boutliern
Mexico, he one day wrangled with a
native woman for an hour and
finally Induced her to sell him
\>r eight dollars a string of gold
beads for which Bhe had originally
asked twelve. He didn't need the
money, but he had a lot of fun out of
the native woman.
Having finally made the purchase he
was Inordinately proud of his beads,
for, It was alleged, the gold for them
had been mined from the deposits owned
by those Indians and the beads had
been fashioned by their own workmen.
When the party approached the Texas
border the majority of Its members
showed little disposition to produce
the various trinkets they had purchased,
but Congressman Murdock, having
had a hand In framing the tariff laws,
Insisted on declaring everything he
had and paying duty on it.
He had shown his ojjals and blankets
"Uncle Sam" Has a Hiq
THE newly-rich and others attempting
to climb the social ladder are
not the only ones who need a designer
of coats-of-arm" Witness the fact
that Uncle Sam needs one himself,
and needs him so bad that he pays
him a great big salary and gives him
an office In the magnificent $7,000,000
marble and gold library of congress.
Uncle Sam's official heraldlst is Gaillard
Hunt, and he is one of the best
heraldlsts extant. He has an international
reputation as a historian, and
has written lots of books on all kinds
of historical subjects that students
of history buy when they want to find
out Just how some important historical
event happened.
Virginia's "Honeymoon {
THE "Honeymoon Special," having
on board 18 happy young men and
a like number of young women with
avowed matrimonial intent, reached
Washington the other afternoon from
Richmond, Va As has been the case
for the last ten years, the "special"
was In charge of Mrs. J. K. QUI of the
Virginia capital. A sight-seeing automobile
met the party at Union station
and conveyed the members to their
hotel. Mrs. Gill explained that one
couple could not wait until the capital
was reached to have the nuptial knot
tied, but absented, themselves long
enough to be made man and wife before
the train left Richmond.
"We did very nicely today," said
Mrs. Gill. "Six couples visited the
marriage license clerk In Washington
and were Joined together In wedlock.
They were somewhat shy. however,
and I could not learn their names."
"Eighteen is merely the number who
have stated their intention of getting
married on this trip," said lira. 0111.
"But! expect as many more will leave
Washington as safely tied together as
' "
KUKUHUHUS UTTLE KNOWN
Mysterious Race Who Llvs In New
Guinea, Refuse to Meet Europeans
In Thslr Camps.
London.?Dr. Bruno Behelm glres
the following description of the mysterious
and little known race of the
Kukuhuhus of New Guinea: The KuIrutiiihif
a I tf a In ? .? ???.
?
rider the Dome of Capitol '
neighbor in a moment of absent-mind- \
edneBs mistake Its object. Then we ,
sit bolt upright and wait for things ,
to happen, looking very owlish and ;
wise meanwhile.
"There won't be any leters to write, I
no papers to read while some fel- t
low is making the welkin ring with
j oratory for home consumption. And
it's going to be in the spring of the
year, too, and fishing time. Why, it ]
will be just like sitting in school and 1
listening to the bees humming out- I
side and the yallerhammers calling.- <
"I suppose we will be referred to as j
'the benches on the right' and the
'benches on the left.' I don't know i
what kind of benches Cooper and Len- 1
root and them Republican insurgents 1
will be. Maybe they will fall between 1
two stools. Maybe, too, we will have
a bell aB they do in the French parliament,
Instead of a gavel, to call
us to order.
"Wonder if the sergeant-at-arms
when he parades the mace will have
to wear knee breecheB and be called
the gentleman usher of the black rod?
I hear that it is the thing in England
to serve awfternoon tea somewhere
In the parliament building. Is
that so?
"Well, we've got a fine terrace out- j
side, Bwept by the breezes from the
Anacosta flats, Buzzards point and
the James creek canal, nnd we might
have four o'clock tea out there. 1
think it would be a fine society note:
'And Judge Ilucker of Missouri
poured.' "
String of "Gold" Beads |
and silks to the authorities and had
been soaked good and hard for them
because of the annoyance of collecting
on such small things. Finally he dug
up the beads from a vest pocket.
"That's all right," said the customs
official, wearily.
"But I want to pay duty on the
beads," insisted Murdock. "The schedule?"
"That's all right," again pleaded the
agent.
"On an ad valorem basis," contln- <
ued Murdock, "I should pay?"
"It'B all right, 1 tell you," cried the
agent. "You got 'em in Tehuantepec.
you paid eight dollars, but their value
1b nothing! They are brass!"
Murdock subsided.
h Salaried Seal Maker
Whenever the government wants
a new seal for one of its bureaus or
for some new territorial possession,
an official calls Hunt up over the telephone,
and tells him it's a rush job.
Whereupon Heraldist Hunt buckles
right down to work and turns out^a
new-fangled seal that every bWy
gazes at admiringly, and tells about
its history, and how it happened to
be that way.
The coat-of-arins of Porto Rico
was designed by Mr. Hunt. He also
j designed the coat-of-arms of the Philj
ippine islands. Again, he is the one
; who designed the seal of the departi
ment of commerce and labor, said by
experts to be at once tho most simple
and most symbolically striking of
all those used by the government.
And, Anally, it was he who designed
the gorgeous combined seal and coatof-arms
of the new Panama canal
zone. All of which goes to show
that he earns his salary.
Besides tho seals mentioned, Mr.
Hunt has designed innumerable other
seals during his 25 years' devotion
| *o tills subject.
Special" Arrived on Time
| licenses and ministers can tie them,
i I believe in matrimony for every one,
and I believe that divorces are Just
mistakes which will occur in any perfectly
proper plan. My idea is to let
young people marry and nine out of
ten will stay married."
Mrs. Gill's party remained at the
capital sightseeing for several days,
when the "Honeymoon Special" departed
for Richmond.
Mrs. Gill is not a matrimonial agent,
but is matron of the Richmond Male
Orphan asylum. The proceeds of her
yearly excursions to the capital are
devoted to the maintenance of this 1?
stttutioa. ..
UUUMMUW V AM ?* |mi V VI UU5IIDU Wi"
ritory through which runs the River
Qukheamu and which 1b situated near
the German boundary. This territory
is looked upon by the said race as
their inalienable birthright, and ev*
ery usurper is regarded with hostile
eyes. No European has been able to
meet the Kukuhuhus in their dwelling
places. Prospectors and English of*
Bcials have made repeated attempts
to approach them, but their camps
were invariably found empty, often
with the camp fires still burning.
Many a time have Europeans left
presents highly prized by other natives,
such as corals, red cloth, looking
glasses, axes, etc., in the deserted
camps, in the hope of establishing
friendly relations with these people.
But on returning to the same places
a few day or a feV weeks later, although
the cam^> showed recent traces
nf nminnf inn onnK oa Hwn nln/lawa
and fresh footprints, the goodB intendIv^VI^K
' ' *^EsE&
Wild Scenery in New Guinea.
cd for presents remained untouched
where they had been placed.
Other races of New Guinea fear the
Kukuhuhus as poison. They have
lecrned to their cost what it means
to cross the boundary. Some disappear
for all time, while others are
found dead, thrust through with spear
woundB. The Kukuhuhus, however,
do a bartering trade with other natives
in the following way: The latter
bring salt, earthenware, dried
fish, etc., and deposit them in a certain
indicated place. They then retire
for a few hours, being notified to
do so by a curious cry from the distance.
The timid mountain dwellers
then descend to view the goods offered
for sale. If they want them they put
down other goods, such as skins,
feathers and other jungle produce
next to those articles wanted by them.
Then they retire in turn, and when
the way seems clear the coast dwellers
approach again. If the latter are
satisfied with what is offered in exchange
they take the goods put down
by the mountain people and go away;
if not satisfied they retire again as
before with empty hands. These
business transactions between wild
races 6how a sense of honor that re
seinbies careful thought.
Doctor Ilehelm regards the Kukuhuhus
as the most remarkable of the
ethnological wonders of New Guinea,
and he was not successful In discovering
the secret of their origin.
DENTIST WEDS APPLE EATER
Dr. Thomas Allen, Who Lived Two
Months on Peanuts, Bridegroom
in Missouri.
Dr. Allen, former president of Aurora
college, who lived GO days on peanuts,
and Miss Lillian Suehr of Ottawa.
who is said to have existed 92
days on apples, were married in Eureka
Springs, Mo., where Dr. Allen is
proprietor of a sanitarium.
The "bridegroom is fifty years old,
his bride is twenty years his junior.
The brido was a stenographer for
years for Lee O'Neil Browne, Ottawa
legislator. She went to Eureka Springs
last fall for the benefit of her health,
and while there met Dr. Allen.
Dr. Allen four years ago read that
a boy in the central part of the state
had died from eating peanuts.
"Why, that must be wrong; I could
live GO days on raw peanuts," he
said.
His statement was challenged, and
he went on the exclusive goober diet
to prove his contention.
PRINCE YOUNGEST CLUBMAN
King George's Eldest Son Joins th.
Marlborough Club of
London.
London.?The election of the prince
of Wales to the Marlborough club,
which took place recently, makes the
heir to the throne the youngest clubroan
in lx>ndon. Since its formation
the Marlborough has always been the
special club of the heirs apparent as
the late king, who had much to do
with its formation, was an almost
dally frequenter there as prince of
Wales, and it was also constantly
used by his present majesty before
bis accession.
Soldiers and sailors generally are
anxious for the prfhee of Wales to enter
the Rag, otherwise the Army and
Navy club. It is understood that, this
step will be taken before long. His
royal highness will also become a
member of the Oxford and Cambridge
stab.
%
. 4 v . ? .
jfflnmtonal
SUNMrsniooL
Lesson
(Br E. O. HKLLER6, Director of Eveiv
lng Department The Moody Bible In? f
tltute of Chicago.)
LESSON FOR APRIL 20
JACOB'8 MEETING WITH ESAU.
LES80N TEXT?Q?n. 33:1-15.
GOLDEN TEXT?"Be ye kind one to
another, tenderhearted, fondvlng each
other even as God alao In Christ forgave
you." Eph. 4:32 R. V.
We are about to lose sight of Jacob,
"a cheat," and we shall hereafter consider
Israel, "a prince." While Jacob
is not so grand a character as Abraham
nor so lovable as Isaac, yet he
is much more like the average man.
The story of his days of willing service
for Rachel (29:20); of Laban's
deception and of his prosperity -In
spite of Laban, can be found in chapters
29 and 30, while that of hls^rf^
turn to Canaan is contained in chapters
31-35. Though not Included lit
the selected portion of Scripture, we
do not see how anyone can teach thin
lesson and omit the consideration of
chapter 32. We therefore see before
us (1) Jacob's diplomacy, 32:1-8; (2)
Jacob's prayer. 32:9-12; (3) Jacob's
present to Esau, 32:13-23, and (4)
Jacob's wrestling, 32:24-32.
A finger tip of God disabled Jacob,
yet vanquished he is victorious for '
God?the angel of Jehovah?has taken
from this double-dealing, crafty
child that which hindered all that
was truest in his life. Not by compelling
but by yielding was Jacob enlarged;
by submitting he found the
throne of power. So much in preparation
for the lesson of today.
Not a Coward. ?
I. The Approach?w. 1-3. Jacob
had just had a vision of God (32:30);
why. then, should he fear the face of
his brother? Even so, however, he
continued his measures of precaution
and separated his children into Leah
and Rachel and sent the handmaids
and their children ahead. Notice how
he places his most loved in the rear
of the procession which he himself
led. Jacob was not a coward and, indeed,
with his new-found power hd
had no need to be. Refore he had
fled from the face of his angrv brother,
now with boldness, and yet with
humility, he enters the presence of
that same brother even though he
had had no nssurance as to the character
of that meeting.
II. The Meeting?w. 4-11. Twenty-one
years had passed, days of
great testing but of great blessing,
before Jacob began this homeward
journey. jacoD nad learned the "upward
look" (v. 1) and his prevailing
prayer brought Esau to him In haste
but not In anger. Now Esau lifts up
his eyes (v. 5) and beholds not the
fugitive of old, but a transformed,
prosperous and richly blessed brother.
"Who are those with thee?" he
asks, and Jacob at once acknowledges
God as the giver and the blesser.
(See 32:26; Jas. 1:17.1 Jacob speaks
of his children as God's gracious gifts.
Although this Is everywhere the ,
teaching of the Bible, yet liow often
is it the modern view, at least in
many circles of society. Following
the children came the handmaids and
their children, then Leah and her
children, and last of all Rachel and
Joseph. At once Esau Inquires as to
those gifts Jacob had sent ahead (32:
13-21), and Jacob replies. "That 1
might find grace In the sight of my
Lord." It is well to notice that Esau
refused this gift (v. 11) as a purchase
price of reconciliation.
Jacob Astute.
From the marginal reading we seo
that Jacob's words when urging Esau
to accept his gift were: "Because I
have all." Every child of God can
.truthfully say as much. (I Cor. 3:21;
Phil. 4:18. 19; Rom. 8 31, 32.) Thus
we see the astute Jacob who had so
arranged his afTalrs as to make gifts
or not as might be necessary is surprised.
not as at Bethel when he met
God, but to find that God had so
moved upon the heart of his brother
as to remove for a time at least all
danger.
III. The Separation, vv. 12-15. We
i infer from a study of Esau's life that
i jhcod aia not aeem it sare to make
the proposed Journey. "Discretion la
i the better part of valor." God does
not demand nor dealre rashness and
needless danger upon the part of hla
children.
There are three main teachings in
this lesson, aside from those of the
I preceding chapter. (1) That in matters
of supreme importance in the
life of any man God is interested and
ready to lend his assistance. Jacob
ready to lend his assistance.
(2) There is the lesBon that while
men with anxiety seek to make plans
for the Kingdom it is only as they
I l'ully commit themselves to him and
allow him to dominate and to guide
will they spell success in their lives.
(3) And lastly, when God controls,
when he has the victory In our
hearts and our lives, he not only
changes the attitude of our enemies
towards us but changes our attitude
towards them. (Rom. 12:20, 21.)
tim * ? ^
m. no vjuiuou a cal CIII(flltUllZOB ID18
last thought. -The only way we can
possibly obey Paul's Injunction wllf
be as we are "In Chrlat Jesus." An
we abide In. and recognising the exceeding
riches of his grace, as we
recognize God's forgiveness as manifest
In Christ Jesus; as we submit to
him, we will be able to "be kind one
to another.'*
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