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f THE FOOT MILL TIMES PvbHtiMd Every Thursday. FORT MILL, SOUTH CAROLINA. * - It'a the bill, not the bird on daughter's hat, that interests daddy. A boy's idea of a negotiable assel la anything he can trade for a doT What do astronomers and calendai makers know about spring, anyway1. A pretzel Is beautiful, not only in Its shape but in its keeping qualities. *1 The brl.-ht colors of the bluebird seem more popular with this season's prlng girl. A member of the new French cab lnet Is named Louis Klotz?yesv the French cabinet. . ( * a Milwaukee now has a hatpin ordl nance. Men are gradually'* coming Into th?l. vuvn l 1011 IS. Nothing so dlBgusts an elder); woman as a younger woman's treatment of her baby. An English servant remained with the family for 70 years,' probably being too feeble to quit. A hair fraud In New York Involves a large sum, and there are otherB that don't Involve bo much. The winter may have been unduly mild, but It is to bo said for It that H was an easy one on the poor. By the way. has your wife begun to ofTer thone little suggestions about ft vacation trip next Bummer? A colllo failed to choose between two putative owners In court, lamely ending a most promising dog story. If a minister wishes to do partlcu larly effective work he should hi good-looking and remain unmarried. Grand children of Napoleon are reported to be living In Los Angeles. Still, France Isn't perturbed over the fact. To be abreast of the times lettei carriers should organize an artistic revolt against parcel post Impression Ism. A magazine writer declares It Is easier to live on |15 a week than on $16,000 a year, but we wonder how he knows. Momuers or the militia can get high grade shoes for $1.50 a pair. This is another argument tor equal rights to women. No nation addicted to baseball has a war on hand, and no such nation wants a war before the close of the season. There is talk of wiping ov\ New York's Chinatown. It took an earthquake to accomplish this result in San Francisco. Tripping while trying to save hit bicycle, a Gothamite burned to death On account of pedal extremetles, sc to speak. Talk is not cheap after nil, when it Is considered that it costs $18 per mlnuto to talk from New York to Ban Francisco. Vincent Astor la giving an example to the rich young inen who begin their careers hy sowing wild oats, in raising tame ones. In the competition among fashionable young men to see who can raise the smallest mustache there are a lot of prize winners. Nevada allows her criminals to choose their own death means, but, b a vpt nnhnrtv hna uol oot nH or* nwor. dose of cream puffs. The Cornell Btuclent, who lived on 85 cents a week and failed !u mathematics, evidently hid his own system of bookkeeping. gome one of the office wits has said that love being the quest, marrlago must be the conquest, likewise, why not dtvorco the Inquest? A newspaper writer sayB It Is easier to live on $15 a week than $15.000 a year. And It's our bet that he's never tried tho latter. Rurglars got $250,000 worth of Jewelry from ono New York Pawn shop. Perhaps New YorkcrB use such places as storago vaults. An eastern genius has invented a machine to count bank notes from a pile nnd register the total amount. It is improbable, however, that an attempt will be made to cater to family trade. Boiled down, the average annual expenditure for stamps In the United States is |2.f>0 per capita. We had no Idea that our correspondence was so heavy. A Chicago professor says that the human race will some day be toothless. Those will be great daya for the canned soup Industry. Now It Is reported that women are to adopt suspenders for their sklrta Can maa retain possesion of his badge authority much longer? . . i M it "FRAT GUYS BOOBS" SAYS WASHED TRAMP Hobo Looks on College Life as Nothing to Be Proud of i After Bath. Evaneton, 111.?George Henderson aya there Is no fun in being a college "frat guy." He knows, because he tried it for a while the other day. George belongs to the vast army of unwashed and Is as loyal to the traditions of his society as any hobo who ever chalked a cross on a back fence. Naturally anything that necessitates familiarity with soap and water calls for disapproval. He made the mistake of picking out I the back door of the Sigma Alpha Epslloq. lodge at 1614 Hlnmau avenue a* ii- tt m ^ j ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ | j ^ Applied Strong Soap Vigorously. ft promise of pie. He knocked and ' ] stood ready to deliver his usual hard , luck appeal. rne n&ndB of Crawford Warrden, full back on the Northwestern unlver- 1 sity team, gripped him. He wan dragged inside, where a half dozen others were congregated. Strong arms enticed him to the bath- I rocui upstairs. Strong soap, applied 1 vigorously, ellcted equally strong but Impotent protests. Trunks were rummaged and Qeorge 1 was fitted out with a light canvas coat, white tennis trousers, straw hat, red ' and white shawl and white canvas I "pumps." Then he was put through a series of initiation stunts. Finally he was given a meal and 76 cents and turned out. He almost had reached 1 the city limits when the police got him. "FYat guys, huh!" ho exclaimed. "All them boobs think about is takln' a i bath. Who wants to be a frat guy?"CRAVES BATH BY TEACHER Boy Never Was in Tub and Envies Youth Who Gets Cleanliness Prist. Gary. Ind.?Pai>l Chuchu craves a j J UHX11. Paul Chuchu Is 8 years old, a pupil of the Froebel school, and somewhat soiled. Also he Is envious?envious of that swaggering Andy llatrack, 7year-old braggart, who boasts of his Intimacy with bathtubs?"dad blarne fni"?and flaunts a red necktie as a proof that he Is the cleanest gentleman in the grude. The grade is the : first and Is presided over by Miss j Laura Knaggs. who recently presented the tie as a prize for cleanliness. 1 Paul Chuchu glowered all day long at Andy llatrack nnd his brilliant tie. He waited after school. "I want to be gave a bath," Paul de! mauded of Miss Knaggs when the oth' era had fled from the room. "I ain't never had tone yet. Hut don't you tell Andy llatrack that. 1 wants you to give me a whole bath. Wash me up an' downs. "Cause If yer don't give me a whole bath, I'll?I'll punch Andy Hatrack on the bean, 1 will." Miss Knaggs was convinced of the urgency of action. Her Investigation developed the fact that there never had been a bathtub In the Chuchu household, but one will be borrowed r.nd the bath given. BEAR WRESTLER PUT IN JAIL _______ He Fights Humane Society Agent Who Reproves Him?Bears Were Also Arrested. Allentown. Pa.?Following n lively wrestling match on the streets of this city the other day. James n. Ptui ber, agent of the I.ehigh County Humane society, and Pierre Teyrent, an ! Alpine animal trainer, with two giant bears belonging to the latter, apparently as much Interested as the spectators. Teyrent and his bears were arrested and locked dp in the local Jail. Teyrent was charged with assaulting the humane society's officer and the bears were to await the outcome of the hearing before Alderman Rower Officer Stuber claimed that Tey. rent's treatment of the bears was not only Inhuman, but that they frightened passing horses. Teyrent resented 8tuber'a interference and a fifteen-minute scuffle ensued, culminating la the arrest of the Aw Quite English, Old Top, Ui nr ASHIXQTON.?"We are going to fw be quite EngliBh, old top," remarked a-western statesman as he lighted his corncob pipe and chunked up the wood fire in one of the old committee rooms In the capltol the other morning. "I see by the public prints that there are a number of Innovations In parliamentary practice before us, with some changes in habitat. Yep, that's the word, though I don't know that the folks out In Pike county can parse It. "There's this here Installation of benches In the house Instead of deBks that kinder interests my bucolic mind. Those old desks were mighty convenient to h'lst a foot on when you had that weary spring feeling. Then you could keep a plug of tobacco, and a jackknlfe and a whole lot of things in there, as well as a big red apple and a sandwich brought from home In your coat-tail pocket. "Hereafter we are to come into the half and pick out any bench that's vacant. and nigh to the front; deposit our silk hats?for of course, we will have to wear stovepipes?on the floor, and keep a close eye on It lest your Congressman Murdock's VICTOR MURDOCH, the Kansas Insurgent congressman, not long ago toured Mexico with a party of newspaper men from the states, he being a pencil pusher when not working at nnlUf ao I** " in inuuouict>vi', uu inuian village on the narrow neck In Boutliern Mexico, he one day wrangled with a native woman for an hour and finally Induced her to sell him \>r eight dollars a string of gold beads for which Bhe had originally asked twelve. He didn't need the money, but he had a lot of fun out of the native woman. Having finally made the purchase he was Inordinately proud of his beads, for, It was alleged, the gold for them had been mined from the deposits owned by those Indians and the beads had been fashioned by their own workmen. When the party approached the Texas border the majority of Its members showed little disposition to produce the various trinkets they had purchased, but Congressman Murdock, having had a hand In framing the tariff laws, Insisted on declaring everything he had and paying duty on it. He had shown his ojjals and blankets "Uncle Sam" Has a Hiq THE newly-rich and others attempting to climb the social ladder are not the only ones who need a designer of coats-of-arm" Witness the fact that Uncle Sam needs one himself, and needs him so bad that he pays him a great big salary and gives him an office In the magnificent $7,000,000 marble and gold library of congress. Uncle Sam's official heraldlst is Gaillard Hunt, and he is one of the best heraldlsts extant. He has an international reputation as a historian, and has written lots of books on all kinds of historical subjects that students of history buy when they want to find out Just how some important historical event happened. Virginia's "Honeymoon { THE "Honeymoon Special," having on board 18 happy young men and a like number of young women with avowed matrimonial intent, reached Washington the other afternoon from Richmond, Va As has been the case for the last ten years, the "special" was In charge of Mrs. J. K. QUI of the Virginia capital. A sight-seeing automobile met the party at Union station and conveyed the members to their hotel. Mrs. Gill explained that one couple could not wait until the capital was reached to have the nuptial knot tied, but absented, themselves long enough to be made man and wife before the train left Richmond. "We did very nicely today," said Mrs. Gill. "Six couples visited the marriage license clerk In Washington and were Joined together In wedlock. They were somewhat shy. however, and I could not learn their names." "Eighteen is merely the number who have stated their intention of getting married on this trip," said lira. 0111. "But! expect as many more will leave Washington as safely tied together as ' " KUKUHUHUS UTTLE KNOWN Mysterious Race Who Llvs In New Guinea, Refuse to Meet Europeans In Thslr Camps. London.?Dr. Bruno Behelm glres the following description of the mysterious and little known race of the Kukuhuhus of New Guinea: The KuIrutiiihif a I tf a In ? .? ???. ? rider the Dome of Capitol ' neighbor in a moment of absent-mind- \ edneBs mistake Its object. Then we , sit bolt upright and wait for things , to happen, looking very owlish and ; wise meanwhile. "There won't be any leters to write, I no papers to read while some fel- t low is making the welkin ring with j oratory for home consumption. And it's going to be in the spring of the year, too, and fishing time. Why, it ] will be just like sitting in school and 1 listening to the bees humming out- I side and the yallerhammers calling.- < "I suppose we will be referred to as j 'the benches on the right' and the 'benches on the left.' I don't know i what kind of benches Cooper and Len- 1 root and them Republican insurgents 1 will be. Maybe they will fall between 1 two stools. Maybe, too, we will have a bell aB they do in the French parliament, Instead of a gavel, to call us to order. "Wonder if the sergeant-at-arms when he parades the mace will have to wear knee breecheB and be called the gentleman usher of the black rod? I hear that it is the thing in England to serve awfternoon tea somewhere In the parliament building. Is that so? "Well, we've got a fine terrace out- j side, Bwept by the breezes from the Anacosta flats, Buzzards point and the James creek canal, nnd we might have four o'clock tea out there. 1 think it would be a fine society note: 'And Judge Ilucker of Missouri poured.' " String of "Gold" Beads | and silks to the authorities and had been soaked good and hard for them because of the annoyance of collecting on such small things. Finally he dug up the beads from a vest pocket. "That's all right," said the customs official, wearily. "But I want to pay duty on the beads," insisted Murdock. "The schedule?" "That's all right," again pleaded the agent. "On an ad valorem basis," contln- < ued Murdock, "I should pay?" "It'B all right, 1 tell you," cried the agent. "You got 'em in Tehuantepec. you paid eight dollars, but their value 1b nothing! They are brass!" Murdock subsided. h Salaried Seal Maker Whenever the government wants a new seal for one of its bureaus or for some new territorial possession, an official calls Hunt up over the telephone, and tells him it's a rush job. Whereupon Heraldist Hunt buckles right down to work and turns out^a new-fangled seal that every bWy gazes at admiringly, and tells about its history, and how it happened to be that way. The coat-of-arins of Porto Rico was designed by Mr. Hunt. He also j designed the coat-of-arms of the Philj ippine islands. Again, he is the one ; who designed the seal of the departi ment of commerce and labor, said by experts to be at once tho most simple and most symbolically striking of all those used by the government. And, Anally, it was he who designed the gorgeous combined seal and coatof-arms of the new Panama canal zone. All of which goes to show that he earns his salary. Besides tho seals mentioned, Mr. Hunt has designed innumerable other seals during his 25 years' devotion | *o tills subject. Special" Arrived on Time | licenses and ministers can tie them, i I believe in matrimony for every one, and I believe that divorces are Just mistakes which will occur in any perfectly proper plan. My idea is to let young people marry and nine out of ten will stay married." Mrs. Gill's party remained at the capital sightseeing for several days, when the "Honeymoon Special" departed for Richmond. Mrs. Gill is not a matrimonial agent, but is matron of the Richmond Male Orphan asylum. The proceeds of her yearly excursions to the capital are devoted to the maintenance of this 1? stttutioa. .. UUUMMUW V AM ?* |mi V VI UU5IIDU Wi" ritory through which runs the River Qukheamu and which 1b situated near the German boundary. This territory is looked upon by the said race as their inalienable birthright, and ev* ery usurper is regarded with hostile eyes. No European has been able to meet the Kukuhuhus in their dwelling places. Prospectors and English of* Bcials have made repeated attempts to approach them, but their camps were invariably found empty, often with the camp fires still burning. Many a time have Europeans left presents highly prized by other natives, such as corals, red cloth, looking glasses, axes, etc., in the deserted camps, in the hope of establishing friendly relations with these people. But on returning to the same places a few day or a feV weeks later, although the cam^> showed recent traces nf nminnf inn onnK oa Hwn nln/lawa and fresh footprints, the goodB intendIv^VI^K ' ' *^EsE& Wild Scenery in New Guinea. cd for presents remained untouched where they had been placed. Other races of New Guinea fear the Kukuhuhus as poison. They have lecrned to their cost what it means to cross the boundary. Some disappear for all time, while others are found dead, thrust through with spear woundB. The Kukuhuhus, however, do a bartering trade with other natives in the following way: The latter bring salt, earthenware, dried fish, etc., and deposit them in a certain indicated place. They then retire for a few hours, being notified to do so by a curious cry from the distance. The timid mountain dwellers then descend to view the goods offered for sale. If they want them they put down other goods, such as skins, feathers and other jungle produce next to those articles wanted by them. Then they retire in turn, and when the way seems clear the coast dwellers approach again. If the latter are satisfied with what is offered in exchange they take the goods put down by the mountain people and go away; if not satisfied they retire again as before with empty hands. These business transactions between wild races 6how a sense of honor that re seinbies careful thought. Doctor Ilehelm regards the Kukuhuhus as the most remarkable of the ethnological wonders of New Guinea, and he was not successful In discovering the secret of their origin. DENTIST WEDS APPLE EATER Dr. Thomas Allen, Who Lived Two Months on Peanuts, Bridegroom in Missouri. Dr. Allen, former president of Aurora college, who lived GO days on peanuts, and Miss Lillian Suehr of Ottawa. who is said to have existed 92 days on apples, were married in Eureka Springs, Mo., where Dr. Allen is proprietor of a sanitarium. The "bridegroom is fifty years old, his bride is twenty years his junior. The brido was a stenographer for years for Lee O'Neil Browne, Ottawa legislator. She went to Eureka Springs last fall for the benefit of her health, and while there met Dr. Allen. Dr. Allen four years ago read that a boy in the central part of the state had died from eating peanuts. "Why, that must be wrong; I could live GO days on raw peanuts," he said. His statement was challenged, and he went on the exclusive goober diet to prove his contention. PRINCE YOUNGEST CLUBMAN King George's Eldest Son Joins th. Marlborough Club of London. London.?The election of the prince of Wales to the Marlborough club, which took place recently, makes the heir to the throne the youngest clubroan in lx>ndon. Since its formation the Marlborough has always been the special club of the heirs apparent as the late king, who had much to do with its formation, was an almost dally frequenter there as prince of Wales, and it was also constantly used by his present majesty before bis accession. Soldiers and sailors generally are anxious for the prfhee of Wales to enter the Rag, otherwise the Army and Navy club. It is understood that, this step will be taken before long. His royal highness will also become a member of the Oxford and Cambridge stab. % . 4 v . ? . jfflnmtonal SUNMrsniooL Lesson (Br E. O. HKLLER6, Director of Eveiv lng Department The Moody Bible In? f tltute of Chicago.) LESSON FOR APRIL 20 JACOB'8 MEETING WITH ESAU. LES80N TEXT?Q?n. 33:1-15. GOLDEN TEXT?"Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, fondvlng each other even as God alao In Christ forgave you." Eph. 4:32 R. V. We are about to lose sight of Jacob, "a cheat," and we shall hereafter consider Israel, "a prince." While Jacob is not so grand a character as Abraham nor so lovable as Isaac, yet he is much more like the average man. The story of his days of willing service for Rachel (29:20); of Laban's deception and of his prosperity -In spite of Laban, can be found in chapters 29 and 30, while that of hls^rf^ turn to Canaan is contained in chapters 31-35. Though not Included lit the selected portion of Scripture, we do not see how anyone can teach thin lesson and omit the consideration of chapter 32. We therefore see before us (1) Jacob's diplomacy, 32:1-8; (2) Jacob's prayer. 32:9-12; (3) Jacob's present to Esau, 32:13-23, and (4) Jacob's wrestling, 32:24-32. A finger tip of God disabled Jacob, yet vanquished he is victorious for ' God?the angel of Jehovah?has taken from this double-dealing, crafty child that which hindered all that was truest in his life. Not by compelling but by yielding was Jacob enlarged; by submitting he found the throne of power. So much in preparation for the lesson of today. Not a Coward. ? I. The Approach?w. 1-3. Jacob had just had a vision of God (32:30); why. then, should he fear the face of his brother? Even so, however, he continued his measures of precaution and separated his children into Leah and Rachel and sent the handmaids and their children ahead. Notice how he places his most loved in the rear of the procession which he himself led. Jacob was not a coward and, indeed, with his new-found power hd had no need to be. Refore he had fled from the face of his angrv brother, now with boldness, and yet with humility, he enters the presence of that same brother even though he had had no nssurance as to the character of that meeting. II. The Meeting?w. 4-11. Twenty-one years had passed, days of great testing but of great blessing, before Jacob began this homeward journey. jacoD nad learned the "upward look" (v. 1) and his prevailing prayer brought Esau to him In haste but not In anger. Now Esau lifts up his eyes (v. 5) and beholds not the fugitive of old, but a transformed, prosperous and richly blessed brother. "Who are those with thee?" he asks, and Jacob at once acknowledges God as the giver and the blesser. (See 32:26; Jas. 1:17.1 Jacob speaks of his children as God's gracious gifts. Although this Is everywhere the , teaching of the Bible, yet liow often is it the modern view, at least in many circles of society. Following the children came the handmaids and their children, then Leah and her children, and last of all Rachel and Joseph. At once Esau Inquires as to those gifts Jacob had sent ahead (32: 13-21), and Jacob replies. "That 1 might find grace In the sight of my Lord." It is well to notice that Esau refused this gift (v. 11) as a purchase price of reconciliation. Jacob Astute. From the marginal reading we seo that Jacob's words when urging Esau to accept his gift were: "Because I have all." Every child of God can .truthfully say as much. (I Cor. 3:21; Phil. 4:18. 19; Rom. 8 31, 32.) Thus we see the astute Jacob who had so arranged his afTalrs as to make gifts or not as might be necessary is surprised. not as at Bethel when he met God, but to find that God had so moved upon the heart of his brother as to remove for a time at least all danger. III. The Separation, vv. 12-15. We i infer from a study of Esau's life that i jhcod aia not aeem it sare to make the proposed Journey. "Discretion la i the better part of valor." God does not demand nor dealre rashness and needless danger upon the part of hla children. There are three main teachings in this lesson, aside from those of the I preceding chapter. (1) That in matters of supreme importance in the life of any man God is interested and ready to lend his assistance. Jacob ready to lend his assistance. (2) There is the lesBon that while men with anxiety seek to make plans for the Kingdom it is only as they I l'ully commit themselves to him and allow him to dominate and to guide will they spell success in their lives. (3) And lastly, when God controls, when he has the victory In our hearts and our lives, he not only changes the attitude of our enemies towards us but changes our attitude towards them. (Rom. 12:20, 21.) tim * ? ^ m. no vjuiuou a cal CIII(flltUllZOB ID18 last thought. -The only way we can possibly obey Paul's Injunction wllf be as we are "In Chrlat Jesus." An we abide In. and recognising the exceeding riches of his grace, as we recognize God's forgiveness as manifest In Christ Jesus; as we submit to him, we will be able to "be kind one to another.'* . . :JMM\